Work Text:
You were my sun
You were my earth
Life after the break up was…lonely.
There was no other word for it. He felt like a man with no purpose, going through the motions. He’d wake up, hit the gym very early, go to the office, work until late, and go to sleep. And late at night he wallowed in his misery, closing his eyes as he held Tony’s pillow to his nose. That intoxicating scent that he couldn’t quite place, his favorite smell in the whole world. It reminded him of the smell of the woods after a rainstorm.
It smelled of home.
But you didn't know all the ways I loved you, no
After a month, the scent was gone, gone from his sheets, and from the clothes Tony left behind. The day he realized he could no longer smell Tony, he snatched the half empty bottle of scotch he had left and got mind-numbingly drunk. He drank his pain away for close to a week until his friends intervened and helped him get back up. Bucky and Sam whisked him away on a business trip that lasted a week and by the time he returned Nat had remodeled his entire penthouse. It looked like a completely different place. He choked back the sob that threatened to rip out of him once he realized their home was gone, but he composed himself and nodded, thanking Natasha.
He had to survive this.
So you took a chance
And made other plans
The only thing belonging to Tony that he refused to part with, hadn’t actually ever belonged to him. He’d never found the right moment to give him the ring. Maybe he was a fool for keeping it, but that ring represented all the love and dreams he had for a life with Tony. He knew there was no getting back together. He didn’t think he could ever forgive the betrayal, and Tony had not tried to reach out either. The way that fight had ended still kept him up at night, because everything Tony had said and how he had reacted that night made it seem like— but no. Pictures were worth a thousand words, and Steve had plenty.
Tony didn’t call.
But I bet you didn't think that they would come crashing down, no
After a few months, he started bringing strangers into his bed, trying to fill that void. The space in his bed, becoming too much, despite being alone for so long before Tony. He started finding comfort in the arms of other men and women. No brunettes, or brown eyes. He had learned that the hard way the first few times.
So his routine adjusted, wake up, go to work, find and fuck a stranger, and sleep. Wake up alone the next morning and start the cycle all over again.
You don't have to say, what you did
I already know, I found out from him
At some point around month 4 or 5 he made the mistake of sleeping with Sharon. It’s not that she wasn’t a great woman. It’s just that he knew it would always mean more to her than him. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew that she had been in love with him for years now and he’d done his best to never encourage her feelings. Especially when he got with Tony. But they had been out together, he had been drunk again and so had she. He’d woken up the next morning with an aching headache, and Sharon still in bed with him.
He sighed and closed his eyes as she kissed her way down his chest.
You told me you love me
Why did you leave me all alone?
“Mr. Rogers?”
“What is it Ms. Hill?”
“We’ve received an invitation from Stark Industries, they are hosting a gala to announce their new department. How would you like to respond?”
“…I’ll be attending.”
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me on the phone
“Steve, this is a terrible idea.”
“So you’ve been telling me for the past couple of days, Buck.”
“You’ve been doing so great lately, I thought you and Sharon were actually trying to make it work.”
“What Sharon and I have is casual Buck. I told her that, multiple times.”
“You guys could be good together.”
“Not you too Sam.”
“Fine, let’s forget about Sharon. What are you going to do if he’s there.”
“Those galas are huge Sam, the chance of bumping into him is minimal at best.”
“Not if he’s hanging off of Stark’s arm.” Sam punched Bucky’s arm, shaking his head, and Steve simply clenched his hands and jaw.
“It’s a very public event, Maria Stark is supposed to be there as well. I doubt he’s that shameless. I don’t care how rich he is.”
“He wouldn’t be the first man to bring his whore to a fun—” Steve blinked down at his stinging fist and his best friend on the floor. He hadn’t even realized he’d moved. He rolled his shoulders back and walked behind his desk.
“I think that’s enough.”
Bucky stormed off Sam running after him after throwing one more bewildered look Steve’s way.
Girl, I refuse
You must have me confused with some other guy
When the day came, Bucky was still not speaking to him, so the ride to the gala was quiet and uncomfortable despite Sharon's attempts to start some lighthearted conversation. Steve just stared out the window, ignoring the inane conversation, Bucky’s pointed silence and Natasha’s glare from her place besides Bucky.
The night was off to a terrific start.
The bridges were burned
Now it's your turn, to cry
Shield Inc had been invited to more than one Stark Gala, so Steve knew the events were always ostentatious and excessive, but even for a Stark event…this was a lot. The gala was being held in the recently completed Stark Tower. The building had become part of the New York skyline in recent months and Steve had done his best to ignore it.
“Are these gold flakes in the champagne?” Sharon said, astonished.
“Well if you’ve got it, flaunt it, right? We all know Stark loves to spend his money on expensive, pretty things.” Steve’s jaw locked and he simply walked towards the bar, refusing to take the bait. He signaled the bartender for a drink and felt Natasha slip in next to him.
“He shouldn’t have said what he said, but you shouldn’t have punched him either.”
“If you came here to get me to apologize you are going to be severely disappointed Nat.”
“I am here, because I am your friend and we both know being here isn’t good for you.”
“You’d rather I be at some other bar getting drunk off my ass, or worse,” he laughed deprecatingly, “continuing this sham of a relationship that Sharon and I have? We both know this is only going to hurt her. I am using her and you are letting me.”
“Letting you?” the redhead questioned, meeting his glare head on with one of her own. “You are a grown adult Steve, stop trying to shift responsibility for your actions onto us.”
“You had no problems getting yourselves involved in my relationship with Tony, why should I expect my relationship with Sharon to be any different?” Steve sneered back. Nat recoiled as if slapped and then her eyes lit up, she opened her mouth to deliver what would’ve been, no doubt, a devastating blow to his ego, but instead her eyes shifted towards somewhere over his left shoulder and her mouth snapped shut. He went still, shoulders tense.
Tony was here.
You know that they say that some things are better left unsaid
And it wasn't like you only talked to him and you know it
Don't act like you don't know it
He had told himself the same thing that he had told his friends: he wasn’t here looking for Tony, he was just fulfilling his duties as CEO of Shield Inc.
What a load of bullshit.
He put his drink down, took a deep breath and turned in the direction Nat was looking at.
God.
He was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
Tony was dressed in a sharp suit, clearly tailored. His usually unruly curls cut shorter than he’d ever seen them, into a neat professional cut. He was shaking hands with a group of older men, some who he recognized as members of Stark Industries’s board.
He got pulled away by a handsome military officer in his dress blues, and a tall elegant looking redhead, both flanking him on each side. He ignored the jealous pang in his stomach and forced himself to simply take in everything he could, that charming smile, the gleam in his eyes, the way his hands moved as he spoke trying to make his point.
Then Howard Stark came up behind him and threw a proprietary arm around Tony’s shoulders and Steve watched with a breaking heart as Tony smiled at the older man, was pulled in closer and led to another group of people.
He was going to throw up.
And all of these things people told me
Keep messin' with my head (messin' with my head)
“I have to go,” Steve croaked, and silently thanked Nat for not saying anything and just grabbing a hold of his arm and pulling him towards their abandoned dates.
“We are leaving,” she said and Steve noticed Bucky glaring in Tony and Stark’s direction, but thankfully his friend nodded and clapped his shoulder in solidarity and the group made their way out of the tower.
“Sharon, Steve? Is that you?”
Well, fuck.
“Aunt Peggy, how great to see you!” Sharon intervened, “Unfortunately something’s come up back at the office and we have to leave right now.”
“Leave? Nonsense. We all just got here. Whatever it is, can bloody wait until tomorrow, don’t be rude. I know your boyfriend is a workaholic, but don’t let him teach you those terrible habits!” Peggy laughed, missing the nervous energy around the group. “Now come, I was just on my way to see Howard. It would be good for him to shake hands with our CEO.”
Steve hoped Peggy wasn’t particularly attached to those shiny shoes of hers, because Steve felt ready to throw up on them any minute now.
Should've picked honesty
Then you may not have blown it (yeah)
Unable to get away, the group reluctantly followed the older woman. Sharon grimaced apologetically at him, but he understood there was nothing that she or any of them could do. Peggy Carter had been CEO of Shield Inc, before him and was now Chairwoman of the Board of Directors. Not only that, even retired from the CEO position the woman was a formidable force. Each step they took made Steve sicker to his stomach, and his friends were not doing any better. He just hoped Bucky had the willpower to keep himself from punching Howard Stark.
You don't have to say (don't have to say)
What you did (what you did)
“Pegs? I didn’t see you come in! What do you think of the place?” Howard Stark boasted, walking to meet them. Steve clenched his fist, maybe it’s not Bucky he should’ve been worried about.
“Too much,” Peggy playfully complained, “like everything else about you and Stark Industries.”
“Come on,” the older man laughed and greeted Peggy with a kiss on her hand, “that’s what you love about me and my company Carter. Where did you leave Daniel?”
“He saw Jarvis and Maria and went to say hello, clearly they all wanted to get away from the mandatory hand gliding.”
“Is that why you dragged your poor CEO here?” Stark laughed, brown eyes meeting blue, hand extended for a handshake. “Howard Stark, pleasure to meet you, Rogers, correct?”
“Steve Rogers, sir. This is Sharon Carter, our CFO, Natasha Romanoff, Chief Marketing Officer and James Barnes, Head of R&D ” Steve replied, accepting the handshake after a beat too long, and introducing the others who shook the other CEO’s hand as well. “We appreciate the invitation.”
“So polite! Nothing like your predecessor!” Stark continued to rib on his friend. “This one here liked to just show up, partake in the open bar and ignore everyone who wanted to speak to her.”
“Most of the people you invite to these things are buffoons.”
As the two friends joked around, Steve took a second to watch the other man. He hated to admit it, but the older man looked good for his age, he was obviously a very charming individual and from the looks thrown his way, commanded respect and loyalty from those around him.
It only made Steve hate him more.
“Oh that’s right, there is someone you’ll want to see,” Stark craned his neck higher, looking for someone, and Steve had a bad feeling he knew who it was. His hands started feeling clammy, and was the room spinning?
“There he is,” Stark walked off, returning only a second later dragging a still-laughing Tony by the arm. “Pegs, I want you to meet Stark Industries’ new Head of Green Energy.”
I already know (I already know)
I found out from him (uh)
He felt himself stop breathing, as those brown eyes he loved so much met his own. Tony’s eyes widened, mouth dropping in clear shock, and Steve heard the soft gasp he let out. He couldn’t tear his eyes away, after not seeing him for half a year, Steve was helpless to do anything but drink in the sight of him greedily. The quick glance he’d taken from afar did him no justice. He was exquisite.
Tony ripped his eyes away, cleared his throat and directed a shy smile at the older woman, completely dismissing Steve and outright ignoring his friends behind him.
“Oh, Ducky!” Peggy Carter broke the silence, moving towards Tony and enveloping him in a tight hug that the young engineer returned with a slight laugh. Steve frowned, Ducky?
“Hi, Aunt Peggy.” Steve’s whole body startled in surprise at the greeting, he glanced back at his friends, Bucky and Natasha looked as lost as he felt, which didn’t bode well at all. Sharon, though, was clearly upset, and Steve bit back a curse. He knew this thing going on between them would come and bite him the ass later.
“Look at you, all grown up!” Peggy continued, clearly unaware of Steve’s distress, “I hardly recognize you in this suit.”
“Couldn’t exactly show up in my favorite sweats and MIT sweatshirt, could I?” Tony joked back, and the pit in his stomach grew. The interaction between these two people he knew but never introduced to one another created a short-circuit in his brain. The blonde saw the slight hitch in Tony’s shoulders and was a little relieved that the shorter man was at least somewhat as affected as he was.
“Oh, how rude of me,” Stark laughed, “Mr. Rogers, allow me to introduce you to the head of our new Green Energy Department, Tony Stark, my son.”
Now there's just no chance (no chance)
For you and me (you and me)
For a second, the earth stopped turning, time and space frozen as he tried to process the words he was hearing. He was brought back to the present, by the sound of a glass breaking behind him.
“Your son? ” someone croaked, Bucky.
“Yes,” Howard Stark stated, his face becoming more serious, “my son. But, you should know that Tony is the most qualified person for this job. He has earned this position by working hard and there is no one more worthy of it. His mother and I couldn’t be more proud.”
“Barnes would never insinuate otherwise,” Peggy replied, the sharp reprimand clear in her voice, “after all, Sharon is both my niece and our CFO, by her own merit of course. It would be hypocritical for any of us to judge.”
“Uh, of course, I would never—um.” Bucky struggled to form words, clearly as stunned as Steve felt. What was happening?
“It just took us by surprise,” Nat stepped in, her mask of composure firm in her face. Behind her a stunned Sharon was helping a waitress pick up the pieces of her dropped glass. “We weren’t aware you had a son.”
“His mother and I tried to shield him from the public eye as much as we could,” Howard replied, beginning to look suspiciously at them.
His mother and I.
“He’s your father?” Steve croaked loudly, his eyes on Tony and Tony alone. Tony’s jaw clenched and he turned towards his ex for the second time that night, and just glared.
There'll never be
Don't it make you sad about it?
“Anthony,” Stark, the older one, questioned, a frown in his face “What, is going on?”
“Don’t worry Dad, just a few misunderstandings being cleared up,” Tony said, a cold mocking smile twisting his face, “Steve-o here, is just coming to terms with the fact that Barnes and Romanoff are NOT in fact very good spies.”
“You told me your name was Carbonell.” Steve choked out, and missed the way Howard Stark grew rigid beside his son. “You lied to me.”
“Yup!” Tony mocked, “sure did. I usually introduce myself by my mother’s maiden name to avoid calling attention to the fact that I am heir to a multi-billion dollar company. Not sure how it resulted in me being called, essentially, a prostitute, but you sure are an overachiever.”
“Oh God,” Steve felt weak in the knees. They’d been wrong. So wrong. And he’d been stupid enough to ruin his goddamn life because of it. “Tony— I’m so so—”
“Ah! Let me stop you right there,” Tony replied coolly. “There is no need to apologize, because you and I are done.”
Cry me a river (cry me, cry me) oh
“Wait, wait, wait, Tony, Tony, please,” Steve begged, grabbing a hold of his arm and pulling him back before he got away.
Only to be yanked back and punched across the face.
Cry me a river (cry me, cry me) oh
“Dad!” Tony yelled and pulled his father from Steve.
“You son of a bitch!” The older Stark barked out, completely ignoring the growing crowd around them, “Do you have any idea of the pain you caused him?!”
“Dad, please just let it go. This is neither the time nor the place! You can’t be seen punching another CEO into the ground, no matter the reason” Tony hissed and pulled his father back. Bucky tried to pull Steve towards the exit, and was promptly shoved off.
“…You are right. Someone find Colonel Rhodes.”
“Okay, enough!” Everyone jumped back as Peggy Carter called out, face terrifyingly serious. “Everyone please direct yourselves towards the dinner tables, our meal is abut to be served. Today’s entertainment is done.”
Cry me a river (cry me, cry me) oh
All the guests marched straight to their tables, amidst loud whispers and looks behind them.
“Now, who’s going to explain to me what the bloody hell is going on here?”
“With all due respect Mrs. Carter, this is between Tony and me. I just need to speak to him in private for a minute.”
“No.”
“Over my cold, dead, body.”
“You can shove your respect wherever you feel like Mr. Rogers,” Carter growled back, “I have been a part of this boy’s life from the moment his mother learned of his existence. If you think that I’ll allow you to hurt him just because you are the CEO of my company or because you are now sleeping with my niece, you have another thing coming.”
Shit.
Cry me a river (cry me, cry me) oh
“You are sleeping with Carter?” Steve whirled around to meet Tony’s pained brown eyes, and watched as they filled with anger instead. “You know what, I don’t care.”
“Wait, Tony! I am not—I mean, yes, I am, but it doesn—”
“Enough! I don’t care. I hope the two of you are really fucking happy together, just leave me the hell alone,” and Steve watched as the love of his life walked out of his life again.
Cry me a river (cry me, cry me) oh
“If you would all follow me,” the redhead from before, shadowed by who Steve assumed was the Colonel Rhodes that Howard had sent for, calmly said, suddenly appearing before them and blocking their way to the dining area, “we’ve taken the liberty of calling your car to take you home.”
“No. Not without speaking to Tony.” Steve shoved past the security coming his way and caught up to the Starks as they were about to join their guests.
Cry me a river (cry me, cry me) oh
“Sweetheart, please. Just give me a minute,” security caught up to him and began pulling him back while he wrestled against them. “Please, let’s talk about this.”
Tony turned and walked towards him, and for one glorious second, Steve thought he might actually get the chance to fix this.
But that look on Tony’s face was so cold, he almost didn’t recognize him.
Tony extended a hand for a handshake, and more out of confusion than anything else, Steve shook it.
“You can’t afford me.”
And with that Tony Stark turned around and walked back towards his fatherl, without once looking back.
Cry me a river (cry me, cry me)