Chapter Text
It’s the last night Katie Karnstein will spend at home until holiday break in December and Laura is not dealing with it very well. She’s proud of her baby girl for getting into Juilliard as a piano performance major, but the thought of her not living at home anymore is sending her into a panic. Laura and Carmilla have given so much of their lives to Katie; raising her, supporting her, and just loving her. Their home has always been filled with so much love and energy, the fact that it will soon just be Laura and Carmilla is both exciting and frightening. Laura is so happy to have the time to reconnect with her wife of twenty-two years, but Katie hasn’t even left yet and Laura feels like part of her heart is missing.
“Mom, where are my grey Toms?” Katie yells from within her closet. Laura comes into Katie’s room, smiling at the way Katie is throwing things behind her in search of her favorite shoes.
“Honey, I told you earlier today I washed them. They’re down in the basement drying.”
“Oh. Right. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you, mom.” Katie says, spinning around and sitting on the floor.
Laura walks over and sits down in front of Katie, grabbing both her hands and holding them tightly. “You’re going to be fine, Katie. You are the most talented person I’ve ever known, you’re smart as hell and you’re much stronger than you give yourself credit for,” Laura says.
“But I’m a mess,” Katie relents.
Laura takes a glance around the room before saying “I’m not going to argue with you on that one.”
They both laugh before Katie continues. “It’s just going to be hard being away from you and momma. The longest time I’ve spent away from you was that week I spent with grandpa when you and momma went on your second honeymoon when I was thirteen and I thought I was going to die from missing you so much.”
Laura looks into her daughter’s bright eyes, which are now swimming in tears. She reaches up to brush a few strands of hair behind Katie’s ear and wipe away a single tear from her cheek.
“I know it’s going to be hard. I remember how hard it was for me to leave your grandpa when I started at Silas, but look at what came of it. Things may have been a little crazy at the beginning, but I have you and momma because I was brave enough to go. If I would have chickened out my life would have been completely different and I wouldn’t trade you two for the world. I have all the faith in the world that you will succeed in everything you want to do, Katie. I know it’s scary but you’ve earned the right to try. You’ve worked way too hard to not go.”
“I already miss you,” Katie cries and falls into Laura’s arms. Laura holds her daughter tight, just like the day Katie was born. She may appear to be strong for her daughter right now, but inside she’s falling apart just as much.
“I miss you too, bug. More than you know,” Laura whispers and hugs Katie tighter.
“Carm, how are we going to do this? I miss Katie when I have a long day at work so how am I supposed to survive her moving out?” Laura asks her wife while waiting on the bed for her.
Carmilla is coming out of the bathroom and throws the towel to the floor after drying her hair. “It’s going to be hard, Cupcake, we both know that. Katie is all grown up now and it’s time for her to live her own life. I know you’re going to miss her every day and I will too, but she has to live her own dreams.”
“I know, it’s just that she’s still my little girl. To me she’s still Agent Katie, completing missions to steal us some cookies without you looking. I just can’t believe we’re dropping her off for her freshman year of college tomorrow.”
“And she’s still my little warrior, nothing will ever change that. Part of parenting is learning how to be strong enough to let go. She will never figure out who she is if we don’t allow her to, Laura,” Carmilla says as she joins her wife in their bed.
“I’m going to miss her so much. I’m going to need you more than ever,” Laura says and lies against Carmilla’s chest, pulling her close.
“You already had me. You always will.”
Today’s the big day. Laura rode in the car with Katie and Carmilla is following behind them. It took hours of driving and countless rest stops to get there, but they finally pull up in front of Katie’s dorm at Juilliard. All three of them are very determined to focus on moving all the boxes, suitcases, instruments and other things Katie felt like she couldn’t live without so they don’t fall apart just yet. Carmilla is busy putting Katie’s clothes away while Laura and Katie hang up posters and framed pictures to make the jail-cell looking dorm room feel a little more like home. Laura gets to the bottom of one of the boxes and finds that Katie brought her stuffed fish Lophii that she’s had since she was born and it takes every bit of strength Laura has to not cry.
“Well, I think that’s it,” Katie says with her hands on her hips. She looks around the room, happy with the home away from home she and her moms have created together.
Carmilla can see that Laura is starting to cry and she pulls her close, trying to help stave off the inevitable. Well, is there anything else we can do before we go, sweetheart?” Carmilla asks and hands her some money.
“I didn’t want to ask but thanks momma,” Katie says.
“Just don’t blow it all on cookies, ok?” Carmilla laughs.
“I can’t promise you anything.”
Laura simply looks at her baby girl because she’s afraid that if she says anything she will start sobbing. Katie notices and wraps Laura is the best hug Laura can ever remember receiving from her daughter. They are saying so much to each other with this embrace that little is left to be said.
“Katie, please don’t forget that you can call any time. Every day if you want to. Be brave, responsible, work hard and don’t be afraid to make new friends,” Laura says and then pulls back.
“I love you both, so much. Thank you for everything you’ve taught me. I had the most amazing childhood because you were brave enough to give it to me and I’m so proud to be your daughter. I just hope I can make you proud too,” Katie says and pulls both Laura and Carmilla into another hug.
“You already have,” Carmilla whispers and pulls back to head for the door before she falls apart. She looks to her daughter one more time and waits for Laura in the hallway.
“Katie, I have something for you,” Laura says while wiping her tears with the heel of her hand.
“You didn’t have to get me anything mom.”
“This is something momma and I have been working on for a long time. I’ve waited your whole life to give these to you.”
Laura reaches in her bag and pulls out a stack of letters addressed to Katie Karnstein. They even have stamps on them.
She hands the letters tied with a yellow ribbon to Katie before continuing. “When I found out that I was pregnant with you I was so excited to meet you that I just couldn’t wait to talk to you, so I just started writing letters instead. Momma wrote you some letters too, but they’re mostly from me. These letters are all about our lives as a family and I want you to know everything. Carmilla gave me the life I never thought I would have. She gave me this unconditional love I thought didn’t really exist. She makes me stronger. She loves me when I’m at my worst and helps me find my best self again. Most importantly she gave me you and I just want you to hear our family’s story.”
“This is incredible, mom. I can’t believe you and momma did this I can’t wait to read them. I love you so much,” Katie says and pulls her mother into another hug.
“I love you too, Katie. I better go before I decide to stay for good. Call me soon, ok?”
“I will.”
Laura turns around and walks into the hallway to fall into Carmilla’s waiting arms. They stand there for a few minutes just crying and reassuring each other that they’ll be ok. It will be difficult without Katie at home, but they’re so proud of her. It will all be ok in time.
Laura and Carm make the trip home in record time. It’s not that they’re in a hurry to get to their seemingly empty house, it’s just that they’re so exhausted and need to get some sleep before they leave for their vacation in the morning. Hopefully Katie will call soon.