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At first, she couldn’t figure out why she felt so disoriented. The bedside clock read seven a.m. and yet the room was pitch black.
“Harry?” She reached out for her husband and only encountered cool bedclothes. That was weird as Harry was now early riser, like she was. She clicked on the bedside light. The room sprang into brightness, but it didn’t answer any questions.
She got up and sleepily stumbled to the window. Opening the shade did nothing to lighten the room. That was when she realized the window was boarded up.
“Not funny, Harry!” Just last night he had been warning her that if he had to watch one more zombie invasion movie, he was going to board up the place and head for the hill, leaving her to the zombies.
She pulled on her robe and went to check on the kids. They were older now, but weren’t not inclined to jump out of bed any more eagerly than their father. It was always a job, often requiring physically dragging them from their sheets with them complaining at the top of their voices.
Harry, of course, was of no help at all. He was fully in their camp and it wasn’t rare to find all three of them still asleep on the weekends. She’d usually have already done the shopping and the cleaning and still they would sleep on. What was a wife and mother to do? Of course, she liked shopping on her own. It was practically the only time that was hers.
“Dave, Bobby, rise and shine. You have things to do”
Their bedroom was empty as well and just as dark as hers had been.
“This isn’t funny, guys!” She yanked open the closet, sure they were hiding there. It was a favored spot for getting out of chores.
It grew less and less funny as she headed downstairs and realized that every window had been boarded up. In a panic, she headed for the front door and pulled it open. The sight of thick boards greeted her.
“I don’t understand what’s happening!” she cried and spun back to stumble down the rickety stairs to the basement. Even those windows were covered and she felt tendrils of fear shoot up and grip her heart.
Last night had been like so many as of late. She was tired and just wanted to lose herself in a good movie. She’d done all that had been asked of her and to sit with a glass of wine and an escape from her daily drudgery was all she asked.
Her kids and husband saw it differently. When they saw her sitting down, that meant she didn’t have anything to do and that was their job, wasn’t it? To keep her busy, running, fetching, waiting on them hand and foot.
She paused then in abrupt realization and took a deep breath. There was food in the pantry and a full freezer. She’s just gone shopping so there was plenty to eat and, thanks to her coupon snipping, the basement rivaled the shelves of her local grocery store.
She hadn’t really meant it when she begged God to cut her a little slack and give her a freaking break. However, as her priest said, the Lord moved in mysterious ways. After all, she had electricity, plenty of food, and, most of all, she was still. Nothing to do, nothing that needed accomplishing. Peace and quiet, just what her frayed nerves needed.
She hugged herself and did a little dance. She was free! She didn’t have to do anything! She was…
There was a tug to her hem of her house coat and she stopped to look down.
There was a small yellow creature standing there, a look of confusion on his face and a set of blueprints in his hands.
“Leelas yinauk. Ed me?“
She froze. “What are you? Are you a demon?”
“Ka domo pensa la. Ka am a minion.”
“A… a minion?
“Si.” He consulted his blueprints. “Tis ba 554 Hummingbird oes?”
She looked at the papers. “No, this is 544 Hummingbird.”
The yellow creature growled and for a minute, she thought she would be attacked.
“Kevin! Kevin!”
“Whaaa, Kenny?” Another creature appeared. It looks frazzled and she understood how he felt.
“To ka ta seg dudreb, to idiot. Prompo pem kaylay da batooay pik tadda fino unama. Batooay to roopa kaylay ta jusbeg yee ged?”
“Yeah, udo.”
“Are you the ones who did this?” She asked the second creature. It looked slightly embarrassed.
“Aw… si?”
“Let’s talk.”
She sipped her coffee in blissful silence. Somewhere else, another house was being boarded up and made readied for transport to the lair of her little friends’ evil boss. Here, there was calm, peace and a moment to dream.
“Pudum ka kaylay tem mas, radbad?” The little creature held out his plate, an anxious expression on his face and in his tender brown eyes. She didn’t need to understand to know what he wanted.
She cut another slice of banana bread and slipped onto his plate. As horror stories went, this wasn’t the worse. At least she wasn’t trapped with mindless zombies. Not bad at all.
“Ed me, Missa?”
She smiled and looked up, then the smile ran from her eyes at the sight of hundreds of the little creatures, all holding a plate and looking hopeful. Or perhaps, hell was exactly what she thought it would be.
Leelas yinauk. Ed me? Good morning. Excuse me?
Ka domo pensa la. Ka am a minion - I don't think so. I am a minion.
Tis ba 554 hummingbird oes? - Is this 554 Hummingbird Drive?
Whaaa, Kenny? – What, Kenny?
To ka ta seg dudreb, to idiot. Prompo pem kaylay da batooay pik tadda fino unama. Batooay to roopa kaylay ta jusbeg yee ged? - You got the wrong address, you idiot. Now we have to do it all over again. Do you still have the husband and kids?
Yeah, udo, - yeah sure.
“Pudum ka kaylay tem mas, radbad?” - Can I have some more, please?
“Ed me, Missa?” - Excuse me, Miss