Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

  Numb. She was numb when she stepped into the hospital room. Days and months of weeping, hoping, struggling. She couldn’t do it any more. She was worn down to nothing.

 He was the same. He was still…empty. A shell. Not her best friend. Not Barry. He would never be Barry again. She sat in her usual seat next to him. She didn’t take his hand like she always had before.

 “Barry...” her voice broke “I hope you know how much I love you. And we still need you. I think we always will. But I need to accept that you aren’t coming back. I can’t go on like this. It’s been seven months. Nothing is changing. And I need to realize that it never will.” She clenched her hands together in her lap, so hard her fingers began to turn white. “I’m sorry.” Tears ran down her face. “I’m sorry that I can’t do this any more. I’m sorry this ever happened. I’m so sorry, Barry… that I need to say goodbye.

Thanks for being my best friend all these years. Thanks for being that light in our home. I miss you, I’ll always miss you. Goodbye. Goodbye, Barry.”

 She gave him a kiss on his cool, still cheek. She couldn’t resist touching his hand one last time. She jumped when she felt that spark again. That was so weird. She backed away to the door, clenching her hands together again. She could barely get the words out, her throat choked with sobs.

 “Goodbye, Barry…

 …Goodbye.” The sound of her own voice wakes her.

 When Iris West wakes up with powers, it isn’t in a hospital room or lab.

 She wakes on the ground next to an abandoned warehouse. She sits up with a groan, wiping grit off her cheek and looking around. She dimly registers the sound of sirens in the distance. Darkness is falling, making the shadows shift and change against the buildings.

 Iris stands up, looking carefully around her. She feels on edge. She carefully scans the area for any kind of threat and ignores the fear she can feel forming in the pit of her stomach.

 A small sound echoes behind her. She whirls, gasp half-caught in her throat. Nothing. She knows there is nothing, and yet she is still afraid. She needs to leave. Now.

 She runs to the edge of the building so she can get a better idea of her location. It doesn’t help. She needs to get higher.

 She runs up the side of the building, right to the top.

 Central City is splayed out before her as she stands on the roof, breathing in huge gasping breaths. She spreads her hands out in front of her. They’re shaking slightly. Then, much more than just slightly. They are vibrating, shaking almost out of control. She feels the need to run as fast as her legs can carry her, and that need is tangled with the fear and panic starting to roil in her stomach. She looks at the city, then quickly glances behind her as if she expects to see something there. The shadows are deepening. Her breathing is rapid and shallow.

 So she follows her instinct, and she runs.

 She runs down the building and barely pauses as she speeds out of the commercial district. She follows the road that drops into the city and races through its streets. She feels the wind in her face, the power blowing over her, through her. She laughs, and it temporarily curbs the fear still present, coiling in the pit of her stomach. So she laughs again.

 Darkness falls over the city as Iris discovers it all over again, this time at high speed. Buildings and pedestrians blur past her. She weaves in and out of cars. She circles the stadium and heads into downtown.

 …

 Night has fallen completely. Iris stands on a roof, looking out over the city with new eyes. Her city. Her home. She puts a foot on the raised edge of the roof in front of her and straightens her shoulders. She will protect this city.

 “Iris! Thank God! I’ve been looking for you everywhere! Are you okay? We need to go!”

 The fear in her stomach bursts to life again. Panic streams through her veins. She whirls, staring at him. She should know him, but all she knows is the feeling that looking at him brings. It’s not a good feeling.

 He stands there, worry and stress on his face mingled with the relief and tension in his voice. He stretches out his hand, waiting for her to place hers in it. She stares at it with something almost like revulsion. Her gaze moves up to his eyes; his are just starting to register fear and worry. It’s like she knows him, but she doesn’t.

 The fear is beginning to overtake her again, and there is only one way to manage it. She backs away a few steps, perilously close to the edge of the roof. He makes a sharp, aborted movement as he almost moves to grab her and then thinks better of it. His eyes meet hers again, panic-stricken now.

 “Iris…”

 She can feel the trembling. She needs to run. The look she gives him is hard and final. The words escape before she realizes what she is saying.

 “I said goodbye to you once…”

 Then she’s far away, racing into the distance. Lightning trails behind her and marks her path.

 Barry stares in horror, his mouth dropped open wide. His outstretched hand slowly drops, and then he shoves both hands in the pockets of his jacket. He hunches his shoulders and stares at the ground. The night envelops him as the truth settles in.

 Iris has super speed.

 And she’s gone.

  She’s gone…

 Barry sat next to the door to the pipeline, knees drawn up and head in his hands. He felt so empty. Iris was gone. Nothing he did now would bring her back to him. No meta-human captured, no crime prevented would bring her to his side. Back to his arms…

 He buried his head in those same empty arms.

 “Barry, what happened?” It was Joe, looking like he was afraid to know the answer. Barry avoided his gaze and stared at the floor.

 “I found her, but I…lost her. She’s gone, Joe.”

 Joe’s jaw clenched. “She…can’t be…”

 Barry continued to stare at the floor. Joe tried again. “But you found her, right? Why didn’t you make her come with you? Why wouldn’t she?”

 Barry met his eyes for the first time, and Joe almost recoiled at the look in them. Barry’s words just made it worse.

 “She…looked at me…like she was afraid of me. Or hated me. I thought about just picking her up and running, but then she ran. She ran away from me.” Barry swallowed and choked back tears.

 “You still have super speed, don’t you?” Joe’s helplessness emerged as frustration, his tone growing sharper.

 “So does she, now.”

 Barry’s bald words hung in the air. Joe was appropriately speechless, struggling to comprehend. He slid down the wall to sit next to Barry. “How…how can she-“

 “I don’t know. I guess anything is possible.” Barry shook his head slowly. “I don’t know what else to do. I think we’ve lost her.”

 Joe’s face was just starting to crumple in despair when Cisco and Caitlin turned the corner, almost sliding into each other in their haste.

 “Barry-“

 He cut them off. “It didn’t work.”

 “Well obviously, we know that, but we were maybe listening in on your conversation just now-“

 “You what?”

Caitlin jumped in. “We’ll talk about personal boundaries later, but the important thing is that,” she drew in a deep breath, as if she were marking the momentous occasion. Cisco joined her.

 “We have an idea.”

 Barry’s devastation lightened slightly as he took in their expressions. They’d said those same words hours before, and he had honestly thought it would work, but it hadn’t. But they were practically dancing with excitement now, unable to hold still for even a second. They believed in this idea.

 He didn’t have to hear it to know that he just might, too.

 He put a reassuring hand on Joe’s shoulder as he stood up.

 “Okay. What’ve you got?”

Chapter Text

 Iris stands at the window of CCPN, watching several pedestrians across the street. One of them, a woman, stumbles and leans against a building. Slowly her hand raises to her chest, and she looks like she’s almost choking as she breathes. She goes limp and falls. She hits the pavement and doesn’t get up.

 Iris can feel the fear overwhelming her again. She crosses her arms over her stomach, resisting the urge to bend over. One would think by now she’d be used to this. But somehow she never is. She watches more pedestrians carefully avoid the fallen woman, some even crossing the street. She’d spend time judging them for their lack concern, their reluctance to help, but she understands their position. Once someone goes down, it’s too late to do anything. And even if it isn’t, no one knows what to do. She forces the fear away, promising herself a run tonight to help keep it at bay. It’s the only thing that helps. She should really call the number every citizen has memorized now, so the van can come and collect the latest victim.

 “Hey!” Holly pops up from her desk nearby, grinning at Iris. Curly red hair and blue eyes bounce her way. Iris suppresses a smile. Holly is new at CCPN, and her energy is contagious, which is a much better option than what is currently going around.

 “We have any leads to follow up on today? Maybe discover the magic cure?” Holly makes a show of tucking a pencil behind her ear and fussing with her steno pad. Holly loves being a journalist. Iris is reminded of herself when she first started, and not for the first time she’s glad she gets to be mama bear to Holly’s cub.

 “A few. We’d better get started.” Iris heads for her desk to collect her things before heading out. She notes that Holly looks out the window and becomes less effervescent as she realizes another victim has collapsed. Iris picks up the phone.

 It feels like she’s starting a new life. And maybe she is. Her job is mostly the same, but a new coworker has made it feel like starting over again. Holly is a breath of fresh air, a lot of fun, and great to hang out with.

 Iris has been working on a major story. An aggressive new virus that attacks in a seemingly random fashion. Its victims become strangely shiny the more ill they become, before they finally shimmer and glow, looking drenched in sweat as they collapse and die. It’s becoming commonplace to see others suddenly drop mid-task, mid-sentence, or even while walking down the sidewalk. Rumors abound as to the cause. Terrorism, meta-human involvement, and lab experiment gone awry have all been posited as possible causes. Nothing has been proven.

 No connections have been found between the victims.

 The virus has been declared an epidemic, and much of the city’s occupants left before it was finally quarantined, leaving the people left to whichever fate might find them. As a result the population is now scarce compared to its original numbers. There are less people out and about, less traffic, and more panic in the streets. Fear is becoming the way of life.

 Iris is continuing to dig at the story, doggedly running down lead after lead. And that’s just her daytime job.

 Her second job is using her newfound speed to help people. Granted, there are less people to help nowadays, but she’s still finding opportunities. She loves it. It’s getting harder and harder to remember the other life she left behind, or that there was any other life before this one.

 She finds it hard to think about anything but how much she loves the running. After work she heads out. Running keeps the fear at bay and helps her keep focused.

…

 She straightens her makeshift suit. Tight spandex running pants and top keep the flammability down. Red running jacket and hood. She tries to keep her identity hidden, tries to let her hood and hair cover her face as much as possible when people are looking at her. And she never goes out until it’s dark.

 But it’s dark now. She hits the streets. Racing up and down, back and forth. She stops a mugging, criminals fleeing authorities, and an attempted artwork theft in the first hour. Why people feel the need to commit crimes while a deadly virus is on the loose is beyond her. But she’ll be there to stop them.

 She’s hitting her stride, grabbing a pedestrian from the path of an oncoming car and dropping him in an alley, when the night suddenly veers out of the norm.

 The pedestrian she saves gives her an awestruck look, stuttering his thanks. She smiles in reply, deliberately keeping her face averted so he doesn’t get a good look at it. He rushes out of the alley, no doubt to tell his friends, but she notes that he does look both ways before crossing the street again.

 She’s about to straighten her hood and set off again when a voice brings her whirling around.

 “You should really wear a mask. Hood and hair is a poor identity concealer.”

 Suddenly afraid, she looks down the alley and spots him, sitting on a lowered fire escape. How long had he been there? She moves closer. The meager light in the alley helps her take in his appearance. Tall, skinny. Red suit with a mask covering his own face. White emblem on the front with a lightning bolt. He’s swinging his legs, leaning back, almost the picture of relaxation except for how hard he seems to be gripping the rail.

 Seeing her fear, he smiles at her. Self-assured confidence practically oozes from every pore. She gets a fleeting mental image of a tiger about to pounce, grinning his mouthful of teeth as a distraction to his prey. She shakes off the image and resists the urge to run. She eyes him curiously. Something in him makes her smile.

 “Like you? You look pretty fancy compared to me.”

 He laughs slightly, then gestures at himself. “It helps with the friction. And, no clothes lighting on fire. That’s a nice feature.”

 Iris can still feel the fear in her belly, ever-present. But his statement helps her ignore it as she gapes at him a moment. “You too? I mean, you’re fast too?”

 The light in his eyes dims ever so slightly. “Yeah.” His grin reappears, just slightly forced. “Yeah I’m fast too.”

 “Where’d you get your mask?”

 His grin widens and his grip relaxes just a bit on the railing. “A friend made it. Maybe he could make you one too, you could come with me and see.”

 “No.” Her response is instant, unthinking.

 He shifts his head as he nods, hiding the falter in his smile. “Okay. No problem. Just let me know if you change your mind.”

 She needs to run. The restless urge is starting to take over. He seems to realize it too, because he looks at her face suddenly, meeting her eyes. She holds it off for one more question.

 “What do you do with your speed?”

 His face changes, softens. His mouth is no longer a grin, but a soft smile as he replies.

 “Same thing you do with yours. I help people.”

 She’s about to start running, but his answer makes her smile too. She suddenly feels the need to reassess him as he sits perched on the fire escape, covered head-to-toe in red and self-confidence.

 “Well maybe I’ll see you around again then.” She’s already hiding her face in the darkness, but he can’t miss the flirty quality to her response. His heart skips a beat, beating a frantic tattoo in its cage. He watches as she darts away, slightly awestruck at the sight. His hand lets go of the railing, falling into his lap. He stares after her.

 “Oh you will. Definitely.”

 Barry was barely changed into his clothes before Joe was standing in front of him.

 “How’d it go?” Joe’s worried face reminded Barry of his daughter’s in the alley. He realized his heart was still thumping at an accelerated pace, even for him. He took a deep breath.

 “Um, it…well… it might work, but I need some more time.”

 Joe’s worry increased. “How much time?”

 Barry met his eyes squarely. “As much time as it takes.”

 He ignored the gasps from Caitlin and Cisco as they realized the implications. He avoided Joe’s eyes and headed down the hallway.

 He would do whatever it took.

Chapter Text

Iris sits at her desk, running over every possible lead, including the stone-cold ones. She heaves a sigh. She’s nowhere. No idea what’s causing the virus. No idea who’s responsible, how to contain it. She can’t even print an article on possible ways to avoid it. She grips her head in her hands, trying to hold out until she can run. She startles as Holly drops into the chair next to her desk.

 Holly stares at her, far less chipper than usual. That just increases the fear. “Holly? You okay?”

 Holly’s face is almost haunted. “Are we going to die?” Her eyes are huge in her face.

 Just the word makes Iris gulp. She looks at Holly’s face and focuses on the feeling of running, how much calmer she feels when she does. She moves into Holly’s view, giving her a determined look. “Not if I can help it. I’m going to crack this story, and you are too. We’re going to be okay, Holly.”

 Holly nods. “Okay.” But she still looks scared. She wraps her arms around her stomach. That’s a move Iris recognizes. She’s done it so many times before. She looks for something to distract her cub reporter.

 “Holly, why did you become a reporter? Is it something you always wanted to do?”

 Holly blinks. Mission accomplished. “I—I’m not sure. I just really wanted to. Like it meant something to me.”

 “Was anyone in your family one?”

 “I—don’t know. I don’t remember my family.”

 Iris sits up straight. The next question seems to hold the weight of the world. “Were you adopted?”

 “No. I’d remember an adoptive family too. I just…I don’t remember any family at all, and I never realized it until you asked.” Holly looks more and more concerned as the words come out. Iris realizes that panic is beginning to set in as Holly looks at her in return. She knows the question before Holly’s lips form it.

 “I don’t either. Nothing.” Iris practically gasps out the answer, trying to stay in her seat instead of running out the door. She’s onto something. She can feel it. But it’s terrifying.

 Holly feels it too. “But how can that be? How do people just forget things like that? That doesn’t happen. Do you—” her voice lowers to a hushed whisper as she leans closer “do you think we’ve been exposed?”

 Iris stares at her. “I don’t know. It’s possible. Don’t say anything until we know for sure. No point in causing a panic.” Holly nods, still looking fearful.

 Iris shoots to her feet. “Let’s go find some answers.” She guides her cub out the door and into their day.

 She refuses to admit that her new friend has a slight glow about her. It’s probably just sweat.

…

 By evening the terror has become so pronounced that Iris spends less time helping people and more time just running flat out. She circles the city. She barrels up and down the freeway. She runs up and down the streets in a pattern, outlining the grid in blurred light.

 When the terror becomes less acute, she finally slows down. She eventually comes to rest on a rooftop, looking out on the city. His voice issues from the shadows, but it’s far less startling this time.

 “I never realized how hard it is to keep tabs on someone so fast. Especially since you don’t have a suit with a tracker.”

 She’s still breathing quickly, but there is a slight smile on her face as she turns to face him. “We can’t all be as fancy as you.”

 He just smiles in reply, carefully sizing up her emotional state. What he sees leaves him concerned. He looks away to mask it and tips his head toward the city below them. “I was tracking your progress.”

 “How did you know I’d end up here?” Her tone is suspicious, the next thing to scared. He can see her eyes narrowing in the low light. His heart starts to race a little faster as he speaks quickly, trying to put her at ease.

 “I didn’t. I was just watching from a good view, and then you stopped here. I got lucky, I guess.” He holds his breath.

 She’s not sure she believes it, but she lets it slide for the moment. She’s worried about more than him tonight.

 He seems to know it. “Are you all right? You seem…really worried.”

 It is an incredible understatement. She crosses her arms to hide the slight tremble they have. “Everyone is worried nowadays.”

 He accepts this with a nod, looking serious. “That is true.”

 A sudden spurt of adrenaline makes her slightly abrupt. “What do you want?” She looking suspicious again, poised on her feet to run.

 He holds up a hand while the other digs into a zippered pocket. “I brought you something.” He approaches her slowly, as if she were a wild animal he didn’t want to spook. Held out in one outstretched hand, cradled in his palm, is a mask.

 It’s red. The same color as his suit. It’s small and slightly feminine with gold around the edges. She notes the small lightning marks formed on the outer edges of both sides. It looks like it will fit her perfectly.

 Her eyes meet his, and for once there is little to no fear in them. His are another story. He watches nervously as she gazes at the mask, then gasps in surprise as she zips in, grabs it and zips back again. By the time she has returned to her original position she has it in place.

 They stare at each other. Smiles twitch on both sets of lips. She raises her head to fearlessly meet his gaze. The mask obviously puts her more at ease. He is so pleased to see it that his grin widens, spreading across his entire face.

 “You look really good in that.” He can’t hold back the fervent tone in his voice. She can feel the heat on her cheeks as she notes his appreciative gaze.

 He finds a nearby chair and sits down, hands nervous in his lap. “So, what are you really worried about?” He does his best to look unthreatening, approachable. But his heart is pounding.

 Iris debates a moment before taking a chair too. Thinking about Holly and the slight glow she’s starting to emit to those who really look for it brings back coils and knots in her belly. “My friend…I think she might be…sick.”

 Even through his mask she can see the concern on his face. “Who’s your friend?”

 Her jaw snaps shut. She doesn’t trust him that far. He quickly sidesteps his error with another question.

 “The virus?” He says it quietly. She hesitates and then gives a jerky nod.

 They both feel the pinch now, the fear in their gut. He nods but is unsure what to say.

 Iris blurts the next question. “Do you remember your family?”

He stills. “Yes…” His answer is slow and cautious, as if he’s unsure what the correct answer should be.

 “I don’t.” She states it baldly. His mouth opens then closes again. He waits.

 The silence seems to encourage her. “People don’t just forget that. And what’s worse, they don’t forget that they forgot it. It has to be connected somehow.” She hesitates, and then blurts it out as well. “I think I’m infected. With the virus. I think I’m going to die. And my friend is too.”

 “No.” His reply is so swift it startles her. He makes a visible attempt to calm himself, readjusting in his chair and lacing his fingers together tightly. But his voice retains its intensity. “You can’t.”

 She looks down at her own hands, clenched tightly in her lap, tangled like the fear in her stomach. She blinks back tears. “It’s the only thing that makes sense. But I still don’t understand how it spreads, how it works to infect people and kill them. I can’t stop it.”

 “It’s the fear.” The words slip out. He realizes what he just said and looks at Iris, who is staring at him in surprise. He stares back, shocked and fearful now.

 “You know something about this! How much do you know? How does it work? How do we stop it?” Her questions pepper his suddenly hunched form as he stares at his feet. He clamps his lips shut, refusing to say anymore.

 Her voice rises along with her body as she stands up and tips over her chair. “Why won’t you help us?” He shoots to his feet and tips over his chair as well. “Why won’t you tell me?”

 Finally he speaks, almost against his better judgment. “Knowing doesn’t help it. Knowing makes it worse, it accelerates the fear.”

 “What do you mean?” At the mention of fear he can see her choking hers down. Trying to control it. His voice softens.

 "Look, Iris. I can explain all this if you come with me, but I need you to trust me. Can you—”

 “How do you know my name?” Though quieter, her voice cuts through his instantly. Mouth open, he stares at her and he knows he’s blown it tonight. He knows anything he does will make it worse. She’s staring at him, half panicked and half angry. He swallows. She shifts ever so slightly. He can see that she’s about to bolt so he blurts his next words as fast as he can say them.

 “That doesn’t really matter now. What does matter is that this virus takes people quickly. You’ve lasted longer than most. Something you’re doing is stalling it, slowing it down Iris PLEASE!” His voice rises to a fevered pitch as she moves to leave. She’s full of fear now, and a million other emotions. The need to run is too strong. But his voice is desperate, pleading. She hesitates.

 “What—” he licks his lips. “What are you doing that’s different? How are you slowing it down? Please, just think.”

 The answer is obvious to her. She barely has to think about it.

 “I run. When the fear gets too strong I run as fast as I can.”

 His hands come up to his head, like he wants to beat them on it. “Of course! Of course that’s what it is! Wait!”

 She’s vibrating, the urge to run too overwhelming. Her breathing shallows, her heart is racing. She turns back and makes a frustrated growling sound at him.

 “I know, okay I’m sorry that I’m not telling you more and I’m really sorry that I’m not helping you trust me. Just do one thing for me, until I get back again. Keep running, Iris. Run like your life depends on it. Because it does. Don’t let the fear win. Run. I swear I’m here to help you. Just buy me some more time. Keep running.”

 He looks so desperate. His terror for her is so complete that it breaks through her own. Her body actually stills a moment as she accepts how much keeping her alive somehow means to him.

 And though she would have kept running anyway, she chooses her next words carefully so he knows that she understands.

 “Okay. Hurry back.”

 His face eases only slightly, the fear still clenching his gut tight.

 “I will. I promise.”

 She nods. And then she’s gone. Streaking off the rooftop and out of the city at hundreds of miles per hour. He watches her for a few moments, and then streaks off the rooftop of Jitters and in the other direction.

 Neither of them notice the hard, piercing eyes watching them from the shadows of the far corner. No one sees the man’s form ripple and disappear.

  Barry can still feel the fear in his gut as he heads out into the city. Iris is right, running does help. He increases his speed and adds a few laps around the outskirts. It helps him get better control. He really needs that right now.

 He’s halfway to his destination when he notices the man standing on the sidewalk. He looks to be in his early forties, nondescript in almost every way except for how he’s standing. He’s braced against a building, hands clenching on the bricks. And he’s starting to look shiny.

 Barry immediately changes course. He comes to a stop in front of the stranger. Just looking at his face, Barry can tell he’s probably too late. He’s not even sure the guy can see him. His eyes are unfocused and staring, all energy directed inward. He’s sweating, glistening, and the light from a nearby streetlamp is reflecting off him brighter than it should be. Barry reaches for his shoulders and he backs away fearfully. Dammit.

 “It’s okay! It’s okay! I’m here to help you! Can you hear me? I want to help. Will you come with me? I promise I can help.”

 Barry knows he’s coming on too strong. He knows this man doesn’t know him, can’t trust him. He knows it’s probably a lost cause. But he can’t ignore it. He has to try.

 The man is starting to shine even more, stumbling and almost falling. Barry grabs the man’s shoulders to keep him steady and waits. The man stares into Barry’s masked face, takes a deep breath…and begins screaming.

 Barry panics. Fear for Iris and all those affected takes over. He grabs the man and runs. Sure enough, that move just terrifies the man more. The screaming continues, growing louder even as Barry tries to talk over it and calm him down.

 “It’s okay, I’m going to help you!” He turns a corner and accelerates. “Stay with me! Stay with me!” Almost there…he zigzags up through several blocks.

 The man’s screaming is slackening and Barry’s starting to think that he’s getting through to him…until he looks down and sees the glow on his face. He’s practically luminous.

 He stops on the sidewalk, in front of Central City’s tallest skyscraper. The screaming is gradually ebbing away, but not for the reason Barry wanted. The man’s body goes limp in Barry’s arms. Barry kneels, cradling him on his chest so he can free a hand and feel for a pulse. He can’t find one. The glow is slowly fading away. Barry’s shoulders slump. The fight goes out of him.

 He stays on the sidewalk, holding the stranger in his arms long after he’s gone. He feels him gradually go cold and the glow fades completely.

 Barry stares at the night sky, at the top level of the skyscraper piercing the stars, and he tries hard not to let the fear engulf him. He tries not to think of his failures tonight, or of Iris. He tries to hold the hopeless feeling at bay.

 He fails.

Chapter Text

Iris blows through the doors at work like a force of nature. She goes straight for Holly’s desk with such vigor that she startles the younger woman, making her jump and swallow a cry.

 Holly looks up at her, eyes shadowed with fear, and Iris makes her decision.

 “We’re taking the day off. Come with me.”

 Holly avoids the hand stretched out to her, looking at Iris with something like distrust. “Why?”

 Iris looks around to make sure no one else is listening and leans closer. “Do you want to die?”

 Holly’s eyes double in size. She breaks out in a sweat. “N—no…”

 Iris notes Holly’s distress and tries not to panic. “Then trust me. Please.”

 Holly hesitates, then nods and gathers her things.

…

 They go to a nearby gym, practically empty at this time of day. Iris points Holly to a treadmill and tells her to run. Holly still looks a bit distrusting but does as she is told.

 Sweat breaks out on Holly’s face and body as she jogs, but this time it’s due to exertion. When she finally stops running, red-faced and gasping for air, Iris moves into her view.

 “Feel any better?”

 “What do you mean?”

 “Do you still feel afraid?”

 “Oh.” Holly takes a moment, conducting an internal assessment. She’s just starting to smile, her breathing slowing down slightly, when the smile drops again and is replaced with a crestfallen look. “I felt better for just a minute, but it’s gone now.” Her worried eyes meet Iris’.

 Iris thinks a moment. “Maybe you just need to run longer.”

 Holly runs until her legs finally give out. She stumbles off the treadmill and collapses on the floor. Her efforts earn her two and a half minutes of blessed almost fear-free existence. Then it slithers back in again.

 Iris hands Holly her second bottle of water as she thinks. Holly is so busy guzzling it down that she doesn’t notice the trembling hand that gave it to her. Iris puts her face in her hands. It’s no use. It’s not going to work for Holly the way it does for Iris. The worry intensifies; fear for her friend and for herself building uncontrollably.

 She can run fast but her friend can’t run fast enough. Holly can’t run hundreds of miles in a few seconds, can’t feel the wind rushing past her carrying away extra worry and tension so that it is bearable for a while before it builds up again. He was right. It’s fear the virus works through. Sooner or later it becomes too much, and then that’s it.

 She looks at Holly and takes in her wrinkled brow as she drinks and stares out the front windows. She can see the fear building up, and it’s getting worse.

 …this virus takes people quickly…

 That makes up her mind. In an instant she’s gone from Holly’s side. Holly blinks, mouth still full of water.

 When Iris returns she’s dressed in her nighttime garb, complete with her newest accessory, the mask.

 Holly stares, then abruptly spits out her mouthful of water. “What—” Her voice is an octave too high, terror threading through it.

 “Holly. It’s me.” Iris lifts her mask, pretty sure that her friend would have recognized her even with the mask in broad daylight if she hadn’t been so shocked. The mask only covers her eyes, not her entire face. Holly just stares, so Iris keeps talking quickly. “I want to try something I think might help you but I need you to trust me. Do you trust me? Don’t be afraid.” She holds out her hand, palm up, and realizes how much she must resemble the speedster from the night before.

 Holly swallows hard. She’s half-terrified, but her relationship with Iris goes a long way in helping her to even think about trusting her. She remembers her first day at CCPN, She was nervous and intimidated, and Iris had given her a warm smile and told her she was going to be great. She swallows, then takes Iris’s hand and uses it to pull herself to her feet. Iris smiles and replaces her mask, then presents her back. “Climb on.”

 “What?”

 “Climb on piggyback style. Come on.”

 “Okaay.” Holly gingerly climbs up and grabs shoulders to keep herself steady. Iris hooks her arms behind and around her knees. They feel like eight-year-olds for a moment, which lightens the mood. Holly settles in comfortably. “Well this is good, because I’m tired after you made me run so much.”

 Iris laughs for the first time that day. “Hold on tight.” And she’s gone, running up the street. Holly’s startled squeal gradually turns to whooping exhilaration as buildings and cars slip past them. When Iris really opens up, carrying them both out of the city, Holly starts laughing and can’t seem to stop. Iris joins in. They both lose it when Holly inadvertently swallows a bug. Iris drifts to a stop, unable to keep running while laughing so hard. They both collapse on the grass next to the road.

 When they finally lapse into a comfortable silence, Iris looks at the younger woman. “Feel better?”

 The sparkle in Holly’s eyes is back, and that’s all the answer she needs.

  “Barry!”

 Barry’s eyes opened slowly. Three heads were clustered into his view.

 Caitlin, Cisco and Joe looked relieved to see him awake, but he could still sense their underlying frustration with him. Cisco backed up a step, but Caitlin refused to. Joe slipped behind the curtain pulled around the bed next to Barry’s.

 “You were out for four hours! What happened?” Caitlin was looking at his pupils with a tiny flashlight. Barry blinked and looked away so he could avoid her gaze.

 “I was on my way back and—I ran into a virus victim.”

 “Someone besides Iris?” Cisco’s eyebrows went up several notches.

 “Yeah. He was—I tried to help him but he was too far gone.” A heavy silence followed. Barry swallowed thickly.

 Joe had slipped back out from the curtain. “And…Iris?” he asked gingerly.

 Barry couldn’t quite meet his eyes. “I’m almost there.”

 The trio let out a collective sigh of disappointment and worry. Barry sat up and pushed the blankets off so he could stand up. He looked up to see all three staring at him.

 Joe turned to Cisco and Caitlin. “Can we have a moment alone?” They both quickly exited, grateful to have Joe take on the challenge.

 Barry sat on the bed and waited for the inevitable.

 Joe took in Barry’s appearance and noted the shadows under his eyes, the fine tremor in his hands, and his edgy demeanor. Concern colored his next words.

 “It can’t go on like this, Barry.”

 Barry stared at a corner of the room. “I really think I’m almost there. Just give me a—”

 “—little longer? I keep hearing that every time.”

 Barry ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “Come on, Joe do you think I’m enjoying this? Do you think I’m not trying my hardest? Do you think this is easy?”

 “No. No, I know it’s not easy. I know the risk you’re taking, Barry and this is why I’m getting worried. Sooner or later this is going to catch up with you. It’s dangerous, son. I don’t want to lose—”

 “You’re not going to lose her.” Barry cut him off sharply. “Neither of us will. I’ll do this as long as I have to. I need to go ask Cisco for a favor.” He headed out the room and down the hallway.

 Joe sat on the bed now, staring at the curtain in front of him.

 “I wasn’t talking about Iris.” He murmured sadly.

  Barry stalked down the hallway, resisting the urge to check behind him. He knew what Joe was trying to tell him, and he appreciated it. (Kind of.) But he knew the risk and he was fully willing to take it, even right up to the end if he had to.

 And that was why he wasn’t going to tell them about how he held the stranger as his body went cold and was overwhelmed with fear that soon he would be repeating the same scene with Iris.

 That was why he wasn’t going to tell his team about his heart rate, which now regularly felt like it was beating out of control, faster than its usual rate even right now. That was why he wasn’t going to tell them it was getting difficult to breathe, that it felt like he was being squeezed from every side until he couldn’t move.

 That was why he wasn’t going to fill them in on how he’d almost lost it out there, staring at the sky with a victim in his arms, and he’d felt the choking panic working on him, strangling him faster than his healing ability could counter, and he’d almost collapsed right then.

 Until he’d remembered what Iris had said about running. He’d spent the next two and a half hours running around the city at mach speed, working off the terror until he could think straight enough to make it back home.

 He wasn’t going to tell them anything. Because he knew if he did they’d make him stop. And he couldn’t stop until he had Iris back. He wouldn’t.

 He turned the corner into Cisco’s workshop, interrupting a conversation that was obviously about him, judging by their furtive reactions. But that didn’t matter to him right now.

 “Cisco, I need a really big favor, dude.”

Chapter Text

“Is it finished?” Barry was already in his suit all set to go. Cisco hovered nearby perfecting the project that kept him up all night. He’d been shaking his head since he started.

 “I still don’t understand why—”

 “It just works that way.” Barry seemed to realize how sharp his voice sounded and softened his tone. “Thanks, Cisco. I appreciate this.”

 Cisco looked Barry’s way and noted Barry’s hands were clenched into fists. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then decided it was worth the risk.

 “How close are you? Like really.” Cisco stared at a point in front of him. “It’s just that I don’t think—”

 “You don’t think I can do this? You don’t think I’ll make it?” Barry’s voice started to rise slightly. Cisco forced himself to focus on the work in front of him rather than look Barry in the eye.

 “I didn’t say that. But it’s obviously affecting you. I’m just worried—”

 “Don’t be. Everything’s under control.” Barry was staring at Cisco’s hands, willing them to go faster so he could leave.

 Cisco gave up staring and looked at Barry. “You need to be careful. I—I think he knows what we’re up to. He’s figuring out what we’re doing.”

 “So? Even if he has, what can he do? Nothing.” Barry was still staring at it, needing it to be done.

 With a sigh, Cisco finished one last detail. “There.”

 The corner of Barry’s mouth turned up in a brief smile as he took it in. “It looks great.”

 Cisco closed his eyes with an annoyed look as Barry sped in and whipped the project out from in front of him, blowing his hair back and drying out his eyes. “Barry—”

 Barry stopped, turning back with an impatient sigh. Cisco hesitated. He understood how Barry must be feeling, what he must be going through. “Just…please. Be careful.”

 Barry’s urgent look faded slightly. He gave Cisco a slight smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I will.” He went speeding down the corridor, Cisco slowly following. By the time Cisco had reached their destination Barry was ready to go, facing his trio of worried supporters. Barry barely noticed their distress. He straightened his shoulders and exhaled, determination in his gaze as he faced the door to the pipeline.

 “Okay. Let’s do it.”

 Caitlin hesitated, and then activated the door control. The door slid open.

 Barry rushed in. The others followed more reluctantly.

 Iris hits the streets, feeling better than she has in a while. She patrols the city and finds some crime to fight, some people to help. Her last effort is clearing people out of a two-car accident, lining them up on the curb for the approaching ambulance. It’s a pretty straightforward job, right up until she makes contact with an exposed wire hanging out of one of the cars.

 The electric shock jolts through her, locking her teeth together. Luckily she gets thrown clear by that same voltage, tossing her several feet away. Iris hits the side of a nearby building with a thud and a cry, cursing the wire and electricity and the stupidity of such an event. She’s straightening up, hand around her ribs, when she suddenly moves two blocks to the left.

 Or rather, she’s moved two blocks to the left. She’s on her knees in an alley next to a dumpster, and he’s on his knees next to her, so pale under his mask he’s practically glowing in the dim light. They stare at each for a brief second.

 “Are you okay?” He looks terrified, eyes wide.

 She straightens slightly, checking for pain. It’s quickly fading. “I’m fine. Didn’t see the live wire.” She moves to stand, but just as she does he sinks lower to the ground, almost resting his head on his bent knees. Both fists go to the back of his head, as if warding off a blow.

 “Um, are you okay?” She stays on her knees, almost afraid to touch him.

 “Yeah.” His voice is muffled. He shrugs a duffle bag off one shoulder and pushes it toward her. “I brought you something.” She can see the now familiar moves of someone trying to regulate their breathing so they don’t completely go off the deep end and decides to leave him to it. She pulls the bag to her and opens it up, then gapes in surprise.

 “Oh.” She pulls a suit out, holding it by both shoulder pieces. She’s staring at the lightning symbol on the front. It’s the same color as his. It matches his suit exactly, except for the obvious detail that it’s made for a woman. It’s made for her.

 “You brought me a suit?”

 He puts his hands on the ground and leans up slightly, enough to briefly look at her face. “I thought you deserved one.”

 A smile tugs at her lips. She touches the lightning symbol lightly. “Thanks.” He nods, but it’s obvious he’s still not his classic cocky self. “Tell me what’s wrong.” She’s pretty sure she already knows.

 He stares at the ground, almost ashamed. His voice emerges small and humble. “I’m afraid.”

 “That gut-curling kind of fear? The one that never really goes away? The one that just grows and grows until it’s out of control?” He nods at the ground. They both know what it means. She stands up, still holding the duffel bag. “Well, you know what you need to do, right?” Before he can answer, she leaves and returns immediately, dressed in the suit with her mask in place. He looks up and his mouth drops open. She gives him an impish grin. “You need to run.”

 Barry just stares at her for a moment. He’s on his knees, looking up at her and she’s a resplendent sight. Red form-fitting suit clinging to every curve, revealing her to be tiny but powerful. Metallic gold glinting in the darkness. She practically radiates optimism and hope. Just like she always does only this time in a heroic flashy package. She smiles down at him, and he can’t do anything but smile back. He can already feel the fear abating slightly. He gives her a shadow of his cocky smile.

 “I hope you can keep up with me.” He speeds away, out of the alley and up the street. He’s just starting to wonder if he should let up slightly when she appears out of nowhere, easily pacing him, and gives him a cocky smile of her own.

 “No, I hope you can catch up!” She speeds away, laughing. He can’t help but grin. Her lightning trail is also gold but lighter than his, illuminating the dark street. He’s glad it’s not red. He follows her golden light through the darkness until he catches up. They race each other, challenging one another, alternating the lead position depending on the moment. The sound of her laughter spills out, and his joins hers. It’s abruptly cut off when they both realize there’s a building in their way.

 They hit it at the same time. Each takes a different side to run up. They arrive at the top and briefly stretch out their hands, fingers grazing as they pass, before they head down the opposite side and continue on. He whoops as they hit the ground. Her smile flashes his way, in slowed time for him. Her eyes bright behind her mask, that beautiful smile curved his way. He takes a mental snapshot and tucks it away.

 Fear is just a memory now. Nothing exists except these moments. They end up on the outskirts of town, far away from streetlamps and any other light source except the moon and their own lightning. Iris begins making sweeping curves as they run.

 It takes a moment for Barry to realize what she’s doing, until he looks back at their combined lightning trails. Iris has swept hers back and forth through his, creating a chain effect. Her brightness layers over and around his, the contrast lending his a slightly burnished effect.

 Barry joins in and makes sweeping curves as well. Their golden lights weave together, complementing each other, intertwining in the darkness.

 The speedsters leave a long trail of golden chain behind them. It lingers for a short time before it finally fades away.

 They make their way through the countryside then back toward the city. They’ve reached downtown Central City again and are neck and neck running together when they spot the burglars preparing to climb the outside wall of a nearby bank. They glance at each other, but neither has to speak before they both engage.

 Barry sweeps in, disarms them, and grabs their grappling rope. He runs circles around the two men, looping the rope around them again and again. He dimly registers the sound of a gunshot nearby, but spends little time worrying about it since he’s pretty sure neither got a shot off before he took their guns. He ties a knot and straightens, only to realize that Iris is ten feet away. Her own apprehended robber is lying hog-tied at her feet, and she’s holding a single bullet between the thumb and forefinger of her outstretched hand. Barry’s jaw drops. He hadn’t realized there was a third man, and that he’d been armed as well.

 “Good thing I noticed this one, huh?” She clucks her tongue, giving him a smug look.

 He smiles back. “How did I ever do this without you?”

 “Beats me. You’re lucky you’re not dead already.”

 Joe sat in a chair in the med bay, staring at the wall. He was waiting. Just waiting again. Caitlin was keeping herself busy nearby at a computer monitor, occasionally making calls on her cell phone to compare notes with someone. Cisco rushed in with a tablet in his hand. Joe rose up half out of his chair with a questioning look. Cisco briefly surveyed the two beds in the room before he looked back at the tablet. He positioned it so Joe could look at it too.

 “Doesn’t this look wrong to you? I think he figured out what Barry’s doing. Something’s not right.”

 Joe too glanced back at the two beds in the med bay, then at the tablet.

 It was a surveillance camera view of a pipeline cell. A solitary man sat on the floor of the cell. He was sitting cross-legged, hands on his knees, eyes closed. He appeared to be meditating, harmless. But Joe knew this man was anything but. He felt the curl of uneasy fear unfold.

 As if on cue, a monitor began to beep. Then another.

 The fear has been pushed back so far that for the first time it’s almost unnoticeable for both Barry and Iris as they speedily drop off their apprehended burglars at the police station and head out again.

 They end up on the roof of Jitters. Both just naturally head there, following the other’s lead. They lean against the wall and look out onto the city. Barry’s about to ask her something when a figure appears, so suddenly he seems to materialize out of the shadows.

 Barry realizes it a second too late. He’s still whirling around, disbelieving, as the figure approaches. It’s a man. Balding hair, piercing eyes, huge hands. Iris gasps, caught by surprise. Barry puts an arm out in a protective gesture, trying to angle his body in front of hers. There is a tiny millisecond of silence. All their progress in pushing back the fear is lost. It’s back, and it’s taking over. Pulses start to race out of control.

 “Dr. Hebbian.” Barry’s tone is wary, as steady as he can make it.

 Dr. Hebbian smiles, reptilian. “I should’ve known the first time. Or the second. Very clever. Took me a bit to put it together, but I’m on to you now.” His voice is strangely smooth, almost hypnotic. Barry swallows.

 The man moves in. Fast. He doesn’t have super speed, Iris recognizes that much, but he seems to almost glide. It’s like he pays no attention to the laws of physics or gravity. Iris is almost mesmerized at the sight.

 “Run!” Barry’s voice mobilizes her like nothing else can. He grabs her hand and together they run down the side of Jitters. They hit the ground and keep going, accelerating in sync. Barry lets go of her hand but stays right next to her as they run. They zigzag through several city blocks, trying to lose him. They end up behind a building. They press up against a wall, breathing uncontrollably. Barry turns to her.

 “We need to get out of here. I need you to come with me. Do you t—” He abruptly cuts off, realizing that again, they aren’t alone.

 Dr. Hebbian slips out of the shadow of the new building, sliding towards them. His eyes are gleaming with triumph. “I am impressed. Believe me I am. You’ve managed to do things I hadn’t even conceived of. But you can’t escape me, this is my home.” Iris can barely start to question how he ever managed to find them so quickly before she realizes that once more, the doctor is heading toward her.

 He slips forward, hands reaching out for Iris. Even with her speed, she can’t seem to move fast enough to get away.

 Barry intercepts. Or loses it. “Noooo!” He’s bellowing, raging. He tackles Hebbian, throwing them both to the ground. He rains super speed punches down on the other man’s face, over and over. “Leave her alone!” Half-crazed, eyes bulging, Barry’s hands reach for the doctor’s throat and begin to squeeze.

 Iris stares in horror. She races to Barry’s side. “Stop! Stop! You’ll kill him!”

 Neither Barry nor Iris realize Dr. Hebbian’s hands are reaching for Barry’s head until it’s too late.

 Joe raced into the pipeline, not stopping until he was at the door of the correct cell. He pounded on the glass, trying to distract the man inside.

 “What are you doing, you bastard? What are you doing?” The man didn’t move. The light shone off his balding head, his large hands lay unmoving on his knees.

 Frantic, Joe pounded the glass one more time and turned to Cisco, who was approaching winded and still holding his tablet. “Open the door!”

 Cisco stopped breathing hard long enough to stare at him, horrified. He shook his head wordlessly.

 “Open it now!” Joe’s voice rose to a shout, and Cisco punched in the codes. The cell door barely slid open before Joe was inside it, grabbing the man by his shirt in both fists and hauling him to his feet. One of Joe’s hands reached for the gun in his holster.

 “Wait! Don’t kill him you don’t know what will happen!” Cisco was now shouting as well.

 Only then did the man’s eyes open. Piercing, hardened, and triumphant. “You’re too late.” His voice was a hiss.

 His hands moved to fasten themselves on both sides of Joe’s head.

 “Joe!” Cisco moved to enter the cell too.

 Joe’s eyes widened as he realized what was about to happen. Before the prisoner could finish the motion, Joe slammed the butt of his gun against his skull. Dr. Hebbian slithered to the floor of his cell, unconscious.

 Joe shook his head slightly to clear it and backed out of the cell. Cisco quickly put in the code to close the door. The two men stood for a second, breathing hard, looking at the still prisoner.

 “Did you really think I was going to kill him?” Joe didn’t sound offended, merely curious.

 Cisco looked at him, then away. “I just know I wanted to do anything to make him stop. But I don’t want to endanger Barry and Iris.”

 Joe nodded. “Same here. We don’t know what will happen if we kill him, but we do know knocking him cold doesn’t seem to hurt anything. Except maybe his head.”

 “I can live with that.”

 “Me too. I hope I bought them some time.”

 Caitlin’s voice echoed over the intercom. “You two need to get back up here. Now.”

Chapter Text

 “Stop! Stop!” Iris grabs Barry’s shoulders and tries to pull him back. The two men are locked together. Barry’s hands are still squeezing, still strangling the doctor. Dr. Hebbian is starting to turn colors. Iris has to shout to get through to him.

 “You help people! You have to be better than this! You have to be better than them!”

 Barry’s eyes lift to look at her, and they seem to lose some of their crazed appearance. He looks down and realizes what he was prepared to do. His fingers loosen. He starts breathing in rapid gasps, horrified. He pulls his hands away.

 “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

 He starts to lean away from the other man, but Dr. Hebbian’s hands fasten onto both sides of Barry’s head. His eyes open, filled with sinister purpose.

 “You’re too late.”

 Barry gives a cry, suddenly unable to fight. His hands can do nothing but fasten onto the doctor’s. Iris moves in to pull him away. She wraps her arms around the other speedster’s shoulders and wrenches him out of the other man’s grip. They both fall backward onto the pavement. Iris jumps back to her feet, ready for another assault, but the doctor isn’t moving. As she watches he wavers. He ripples, going almost insubstantial. He becomes further and further transparent until he seems to dissolve into the shadows he came from. She gapes for a second and then turns back to Barry.

 “What was that? Who was that? What is going on?” But her questions stop when she gets a good look at him.

 He’s cowering on the ground, looking like a frightened animal. He looks up at her, eyes wide with fear. His skin is pale, clammy and emitting a slight glow that brightens even as she watches. He looks deep in the grip of the virus. Fatal. How did he progress so fast, even after running? She fights down her own panic so she can kneel down in front of him, careful not to touch him.

 She meets his eyes. “How can I help you? You know about this, do you know how to cure it? How do I help you?”

 But he just stares at her, terrified. He seems to be more focused inward than out. He looks on the verge of hyperventilation.

 She tries not to sob. “Please. Please let me help you.” She reaches into a zippered pocket of her new suit and offers him the object sitting in the palm of her hand. A beat passes.

 It’s a single bullet, plucked from the air before it could hurt him. He stares at it, and she can see the painful struggle to climb out of the pit he’s in and come back to himself a bit. He looks at her, blinking. He reaches for the bullet, clutching it in his fist so hard that the pain appears to be helping him focus. She takes that as a good sign. But he’s obviously still very affected because he starts to babble a bit.

 “Okay. Okay. Cisco was right. He figured it out. Obviously that move does the job in here too, okay. Good to know. I think he only got me partway, though. It’s advanced but I’m not down yet.” He looks at her. “Thanks. For helping me.” She nods.

 “He advanced the virus by holding your head? How can a man spread the virus like that? Is he the virus?” The questions tumble out as she thinks them.

 “Sort of. It’s hard to explain.” As she watches his pupils dilate and his hands start to tremble.

 “Okay never mind. We need to get you some help. Can you stand?” She puts out her hand, offering him help and smiling slightly. He considers it for a moment, which helps her realize how far gone he is. He’s never hesitated before. He reaches out a hand, and she helps to him his feet. He stumbles a bit, so she keeps an arm around him to help him stay steady. He’s still shimmering.

 “I’m so glad you’re talking to me that’s a good sign. How do we fix you, do you know how?” Iris holds her breath, desperately hoping he’ll say yes. If he knows how to cure the virus then there’s hope for all of them. Running only seems to delay the effects, not cure it. Without a cure it’s only a matter of time before they all go down.

 He hesitates. “I have to…leave. I have to leave here. But—”

 “How does leaving help? No, no it doesn’t matter. Leave from where? Do you run? Car? How do you do it?”

 He weaves back and forth a moment, thinking. “I have to—just help me. It’s not far.”

 They make their way several blocks over, to the highest skyscraper in Central City. Several times on the way over Barry has to stop, leaning on whatever building is nearest until the panic passes. Once he looks like he’s going to collapse, choking back screams. That time Iris thinks it’s all over, and it’s the look on her face that brings him back. He manages to pull himself together enough to run a lap around the block, Iris close beside him, and they don’t stop until they reach the highest point on the skyscraper.

 They end up on the observation deck. The running has helped Barry clear his head a bit more. He looks at the railing, then at Iris, and she can see the fear pinching his face.

 “What now?” She looks at him, pushing down the familiar fear of her own.

 But now that they’re here he just looks at her. He seems frozen, undecided. “What are you waiting for, do whatever you need to!”

 He looks her straight in the eye. “Will you come with me?”

 Again, she instinctively answers. “I—I can’t. But you’ll come back, right?”

 He shakes his head slowly. “I don’t know if I can come back here again. It’s starting to catch up with me. I don’t know how long Dr. Hebbian will be out of the picture, but he won’t stop now that he knows what I’ve been doing. I don’t even know if I’ll have time to get back before he finds you again. And if he doesn’t, the virus will eventually win. But it doesn’t matter. If you can’t come with me, then I’m not going.”

 He leans back against the door leading downstairs and tries to steady his breathing. He slides down to sit on the floor.

 Her breathing gets more rapid. “What do you mean? If it will make you better you have to!”

 “Leaving will make you better too but you can’t trust me enough to come with me. I don’t want to go back without you. I won’t. Whatever time left we have here together is better than that.” He looks up at her face, reads her stunned look. “I guess I’m more afraid of a long life without you in it than a short one shared with you.” He tries to smile with trembling lips.

 For some reason the thought of him staying to die with her is the most horrible thought Iris can imagine. “You need to go. You have to go!”

 He gives her a melancholy smile. “I said goodbye to you once. I won’t do it again.” He leans his head back and closes his eyes. Maybe they can go for a run in a few minutes, that’ll help for right now. Sorry, Joe. He doesn’t see Iris staring at him, standing frozen.

I said goodbye to you once...

 The words replay over and over in her brain. They mean something…they mean everything somehow. Goodbye… She looks at this other speedster, this man that she trusts, and realizes she doesn’t even know his name. She doesn’t know anything about him.

 But she does. She knows that he has super speed and that he helps people. She knows that he’ll put himself in danger to help her and others. She knows that he will not leave just to save himself.

 And she knows with deep certainty that the only way to save him is to go with him.

 Her red boots come to stand right in front of him, and when she speaks he opens his eyes in surprise.

 “How do we get out of here? Or whatever it is you need to do.”

 He looks up, and again she’s resplendent, standing there in her red suit. His own personal symbol of hope and optimism. His fear fades away at the idea that she might just trust him enough to do this. He scrambles to his feet, a grin splitting his face. “Are you sure? I need you to trust me that’s the only way it will work.”

 She gives him a smile. “What do we do?”

 He breathes out a deep exhale, then points at the railing. “We drop.”

 “What?”

 He gives her a rueful shrug. “See? You really need to trust me to do this. I’ve done it several times so far and it works. But you can’t let the fear get control when we go over.”

 “When we…go over.” Her tone is dryly sarcastic, and it makes him smile. He moves to the railing and, with a glance back at her, climbs up so he can step on the concrete edge it’s attached to. He carefully braces his feet between two wrought iron rails. The railing now ends somewhere around his knees. He looks back at her, and with a hopeful smile extends his hand out to her.

 The thought of even being on the railing on such a tall skyscraper is terrifying, much less dropping over the side. But Iris chokes it down and moves to join him. He pulls her up until she’s standing next to him, feet wedged between the rails, a death grip on his hand and the railing and trying not to look down.

 “Iris.” Her fearful gaze lifts up to meet his. “I know this makes no sense, and I understand how scary this must be, even without the virus. This works. I swear. Trust me, and we’ll be okay.”

 She looks into his masked face, almost forgetting she’s wearing one as well. They’re silhouetted against the night sky; two heroes in red suits, clinging to each other as outside forces try to knock them off their lofty perch. She stares into his eyes and tries to forget all the questions that are swirling in her brain. Like who is Dr. Hebbian, how did he just disappear, why does he keep using the phrase ‘leave’, not to mention how does jumping off a building cure a virus? Well, besides the obvious way… She pulls the questions and doubts together and shuts them away, putting all her faith in his promise. She breathes out deeply, preparing.

 “Okay.”

 Her response gives him the lift he needs. He smiles briefly, then shifts his feet so they aren’t wedged in the railings but perched on the concrete edge instead. She dislodges her feet. Their height difference makes it a better option for him to lift her to his height so she’ll easily clear the railing and leave the actual dropping to him. He wraps his arms around her waist and lifts her the several inches to bring her to his level. She wraps her arms around his shoulders.

 The wind is picking up, buffeting them slightly, and their exposed position should make her even more frightened. But being held tightly in his arms while hers are wrapped around him, staring into his face makes her feel the safest she has felt since she woke up with super speed. They look into each other’s eyes for a brief moment, and he seems to sense it too because he gives her a warm smile.

 She’s just returning it, safe and content, when he leans to the side and they drop over the railing.

 They fall headfirst, still clutched together. The swooping feeling in her stomach that accompanies the drop almost makes her panic, but she grips him tighter and buries her face in his neck. They drop like a dead weight, picking up speed as they descend. His arms are still wrapped around her, holding her securely. She keeps her eyes closed.

The farther they drop the more it seems like light is shining on her eyelids, fluttering and flowing past, interrupted in blinks like a train in a tunnel or an old projector. She opens her eyes once but it’s still dark outside. No lights around them. When she closes her eyes again the light is back, brighter and brighter until it’s almost like a filmstrip burst to life inside her head…

 The day they were married was warm and clear, blue skies as far as the eye could see. The morning was a flurry of nerves and anticipation, women from her life surrounding her in excitement as they helped her prepare.

 Her father was dressed in his finery, blinking back tears as she approached him for their walk down the aisle.

 “You look so beautiful, baby.”

 “Thanks Dad.”

 And walking down the aisle, her dress rustling as she moved, every hair placed just so, every detail as perfect as she could make it…for him. Because she was marrying her best friend and she wanted everything to be just right.

 He beamed with happiness, and his joy was reflected in her expression. The trembling hands clasped together as the vows were given were a sign of anticipation and exhilaration, not cold feet. They both knew it was right. They both knew it was perfect.

 When they were pronounced man and wife his face split into that happy grin. His hands moved to cup her face as he kissed her. Hers rose to wrap around him, almost smashing her bouquet against his back.

 The church bells rang due to a personal favor called in by Captain Singh. The crowd threw petals over them as they dashed to the car. They stopped to hug Joe and Henry on their way, both men laughing as they patted each other on the back. They got in the car and then waved as they drove away to savor the first few moments as Mr. and Mrs. Barry Allen. (Iris still wasn’t sure about the hyphenating thing.)

 Their happiness was complete, there was no fear on the day Iris married Barry.

 Her eyes flicker open as her arms tighten even more around him. She knows they must be almost to the ground. His name slips out of her lips.

 “Barry…”

 He twitches in surprise, then his arms tighten as well as they drop the final few feet.

Chapter Text

Five Days Ago

The warehouse was old and deserted. Barry came to a stop outside it and gave a resigned sigh. He spoke out loud as he approached the door more slowly.

“Why is it always some abandoned depressing place the bad guys hide out in? They’d blend in a lot better if they mingled with society.”

 Cisco’s laugh came over the comm. “I think it’s in the basic bad guy handbook. ‘Find a properly creepy hideout. Abandoned is preferred so as to hide your general creepiness.’ Pretty sure that’s how it reads.”

 Barry’s smile was still on his face as he slowly crept in the half-open door and glanced around, all senses on the alert. “Are we sure he’s here?” The warehouse had obviously been neglected for years. The inside was dusty, dilapidated, and empty. The late evening sun, or what was left of it, was just slipping in through the lowest windows. It gave some light but created a lot of shadows.

 “Well, no. But the facial recognition program pinged. He was caught on the security camera on the warehouse next door approaching the doorway you just went in. It’s a pretty logical jump from there.” Barry could hear the sound of Cisco slurping his drink.

 “Okay.” Barry automatically lowered his voice to a whisper. “Let me know if you find anything el—” Barry whirled at the soft sound behind him, ready for anything.

 Iris stepped out from behind a column several feet away. “Nice to know I can still keep up with the fastest man alive.”

 Barry’s stance immediately relaxed. “Iris, what are you doing here?” He swept the large area of the warehouse once more at super speed to check for possible threats, and then stopped next to her. She smiled up at him as he stood close, wrapping her arms around his waist.

 “Wait, Iris is there? How did—”

 “Sorry Cisco, marital privilege. Turning my comm. off.” Barry could hear Cisco starting to reply but shut it off anyway. His wife was pulling him in for a kiss and he didn’t want anyone else in on that experience.

 It had been a little over a year since they were married, but they were still acting like newlyweds. Barry was smiling too as they parted. It took him a minute to remember what he was concerned about. He cleared his throat.

 “Oh, right, so what are you doing here?”

 “You’re not the only one chasing this guy. There’s a connection between him and the last victim. She was one of his patients.”

 “Really? Why didn’t you call me?”

 “I wasn’t sure if he’d actually be here. If I’m right, he likes to camp out by himself after an attack, and this warehouse is part of some properties his family owned. I wondered if he might be using them to be alone, but there are five on the list. I was going to check them one by one, just run reconnaissance, and let you know if I found a winner.”

 Barry looked around again, arms still holding her close. “Well, as usual, I think you’re right. And I think you picked the winner with this one.”

 “You think he’s here?” She looked around too.

 “Facial recognition caught him on camera here. I came right over.” His face was getting more worried by the second. “Iris, I think you need to go. I don’t want you running into this guy. He’s dangerous.”

 She gave him a look of understanding but made no move to leave. “They’re all dangerous, Barry. We’ve made it this far.”

 “I know but—”

 “He put a sweet girl in a coma, and several others that we know about. They all die in a few days. Holly’s not gone yet. If we can catch this guy maybe we can find a way to help her. If we can’t, well, then I want a piece of this guy.” She had a dangerous glint in her eye.

 The mental image of Iris kicking Dr. Hebbian’s butt made Barry smile, but it faded quickly. “At the risk of getting my own butt kicked, I still don’t want you anywhere near him. We barely understand his powers, and I—I don’t want to lose you.” His arms tightened around her waist.

 She smiled up at him, running a finger down his cheek. “I said goodbye to you once. I won’t do it again.”

 But he couldn’t smile back. “Iris…please.”

 She relented with a heaving sigh. “Fine. But only because I love you. Besides, I’m not sure what I’d do if I did catch him. I’m not the one with super speed.”

 He kissed her quickly. “Thank you.”

 She rolled her eyes and grumbled, “The things I do for you Barry Allen,” under her breath. But she kissed him back. “I’ll wait by my car out back. When you get this guy I want to be here.”

 In a blink they were out next to her car. Her hair floated back down to her shoulders as he grinned at her. “What makes you think I’ll get him?”

 “Please. You always get the bad guy. You’re The Flash. Besides, my husband is no loser. Except when we bowl together.”

 He laughed out loud, but then remembered he was supposed to be looking for said bad guy. “In that case, I’ll be back in a few minutes, tops.”

 He gave her one last kiss and headed back inside. He switched his comm. back on, and was greeted with what was obviously the tail end of a tirade Cisco thought he couldn’t hear.

 “—but whatever, just cut me off mid-sentence! It’s not like I’m supposed to be watching your back or anything! Not like I’m one of your best friends and part of your team! Not like I’m a human being—”

 “Cisco the comm. is back on now.” There was a moment of silence.

 “Oh. Good to know. Did you find him yet, in between your second honeymoon trip and some cuddling?”

 “No. Iris is out back by her car.” Barry sped up the stairs near the back and looked around. A door stood open, and a rumpled sleeping bag was just visible inside. Barry rushed in, hoping to take the doctor by surprise. The room was empty.

 “He’s not here, but he’s been here.” Barry nudged a box of takeout Chinese with his foot. It was still warm. A plastic fork was still wrapped in cellophane next to it, the iced drink still shedding water droplets. “Very recently. Where did he go?”

 “Nothing on the cameras nearby. I don’t think he left.”

 He surveyed the room. The window at the back had a shabby sheet draped over it to keep out the sun. Barry approached it and flicked it open slightly, leaving himself a sliver of window to peek out. He looked down, checking for any sign of Dr. Hebbian.

 Iris’s car was parked below. Barry shifted slightly to change his angle of view, looking for Iris now. And then he stopped breathing.

 They were both down below. Dr. Hebbian’s hands were on both sides of his wife’s head as she dangled limply between them.

 “No! Nooooo! Iris run! Run!” He pounded on the window, and even though it got the doctor’s attention he didn’t let go of Iris. Iris didn’t respond at all.

 In seconds Barry was back downstairs, racing outside. Dr. Hebbian barely saw him coming and couldn’t react fast enough to let go or get away. Barry’s fist clocked him at super speed, throwing him several feet from Iris as Barry caught her in his arms, lowering her to the ground. Dr. Hebbian was knocked out cold.

 “What happened? Is Iris okay?” Cisco’s voice was high and tense.

 “He got to her! She’s going into a coma! Iris—”

 Her eyes were slits, half-opened. She wasn’t responding. Barry frantically pulled off his mask and hood so she could see his face. His gloved hand cupped her cheek as her head lolled.

 “Iris? Look at me. Iris? Don’t—don’t go Iris! No!”

 Her eyes slid closed. Barry paused just long enough to throw Dr. Hebbian in the trunk of her car. Then he rose with Iris in his arms and raced to S.T.A.R. Labs.

 Iris had no time to react at all. One moment she was smiling as Barry zipped away, thinking how far they’d come since that day in the coma, the next two hands were fastened on her head from behind. She barely got a whimper out, suddenly unable to fight, struggle or move. She could feel some kind of energy pouring into her head, overwhelming her, short-circuiting her brain. Pain and fear blossomed, instantly out of control. Thoughts and memories tangled and whirled through her head as she felt herself weakening, her mind floating away...

 She’d said goodbye to Barry once…run…she needed to run…she wouldn’t do it again…no… belonged together…she wished she had super speed…get away…she wanted to run as fast as Barry…she’d refused to say goodbye…she needed to run away…run so fast…

 She wasn’t even aware when the hands had let go of her, that she was being held in Barry’s arms. What she did register was that his face was in front of her, fearful and panicked, and that her own fear and panic were melding together with that face. She was terrified. She was slipping away… this was goodbye…she’d refused to say it and she couldn’t say it now, but this was it. Goodbye Barry...

 Goodbye…

  “I got her.” The voice, quiet with exhaustion but still triumphant, pulled her into consciousness.

 Iris opened her eyes. She stared at the unfamiliar ceiling a moment, before two faces appeared above her.

 Henry and Joe.

 “Oh my God, baby…” Joe didn’t even try to hide the tears flowing down his face. He leaned over her, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her cheeks, her hair. She allowed it mostly because she was still trying to figure out what was going on. Her eyes fell on Henry, who had stepped back once Joe moved in but now had a hand over his mouth, staring at her with unshed tears in his eyes. Her eyes begged an explanation, and he obliged.

 “You—” he cleared his throat. “You gave us quite a scare, Iris. We’ve been really worried about you.” Joe nodded his head where it was resting against her temple as he hugged her. She could feel his tears wetting her hair.

 Iris searched her memory, trying to sift through memories that didn’t make sense together. The virus and super speed, and her suit and getting attacked and toppling off a building and her wedding day…

 “Barry.” Her voice was a raspy unused instrument. “Where’s Barry?”

 “I’m over here.” His voice drifted her way from the bed next to her. Joe pulled back, finally letting go of her so she could turn her head.

 Barry’s tired smile was shining back at her. “Hi.”

 “Hi.” The tightness in her chest she hadn’t even realized was there loosened and faded away.

 She realized that Cisco and Caitlin were next to his bed. Everyone looked incredibly relieved.

 “Why do I get the feeling that there’s an amazing story behind all this?”

 “Because you’re an amazing reporter?” Barry grinned.

 “Because you’re very intelligent and these guys aren’t that subtle?” Caitlin gave her a wink.

 “Oh it’s a good story,” Cisco chimed in. “Well, now it is. Lay back and relax, and we’ll fill you in.”

Chapter Text

"I was in a coma the last five days." Iris had to say it out loud for it to seem real. "So all of that, my speed, the virus epidemic, that was…where now?"

Having quickly checked Iris over and assured herself there was no lasting damage, Caitlin now moved in with a tablet in her hand. "See this brain scan? This is Dr. Hebbian's. His amygdala, where fear is processed, is severely over-reactive. But so is," she slid to the next image "his parahippocampal gyrus. He's telepathic, and it's an amplified metahuman ability. When he puts someone in a coma, he does it by overloading the fear center of their brain."

"He pours his fear into them." Iris remembered the fear, that horrible feeling of being trapped between the doctor's hands.

"Exactly. When that happens their conscious mind becomes trapped in a sort of, I don't know, collective consciousness?"

"Dream world," Cisco cut in. "It's a dream world."

Caitlin looked unhappy with the word choice but couldn't find a better one. "Everyone he's affected is there, connected through a psychic link. But as they go in, they lose much of their memories. So they just kind of start over in there, going through some kind of weird version of everyday life, dealing with the overload of fear that just keeps growing. Until, of course, eventually the victim is overwhelmed and either goes brain dead or dies."

"The virus." Iris had a serious look on her face.

"Yup."

"But there were other people in the city, ones that weren't infected. I saw them. I interacted with them."

"How many did you interact with? Like really?" Cisco raised his eyebrows, stepping forward. It was obvious he had a theory.

"I—saved some people, caught some criminals, went to work every day…" her voice trailed off as she really started to remember. The look on her face was enough for Cisco to see that she'd caught on.

"Did they seem a little flat? A little anonymous? Did they do mostly what you needed or wanted them to do?"

She nodded, remembering the man she saved from the oncoming car. He'd reacted exactly how she'd expected him to. How she'd wanted him to. The same was true about most of her coworkers. In some ways, that in itself should have been a warning sign. None of her coworkers were that easy to get along with.

"They were all projections. Basic personalities with basic behaviors. None of them were really real, except for the victims. Like yourself." Cisco looked slightly apologetic saying it.

"Only the victims were real? So every time I saw someone collapse in there—"

"Someone died or went brain dead out here."

"And we didn't even know what was really happening. Our life out here just kind of faded away, until we didn't even remember it. We just stayed there, thinking we were quarantined and helpless until we eventually died." Iris felt sick. She looked over at Barry, who had been very quiet up until now. She met his eyes and saw a similar emotion.

"But you didn't, Barry. Was it your healing that helped you keep those memories?"

Caitlin nodded. "We think so. His system seems to regenerate fast enough to counteract that effect."

Iris started to realize how time had seemed disjointed in that world, day to night in a blink, gaps in time that would usually be associated with dreaming. She hadn't noticed while experiencing it, but now compared to the real world it was very different. Even the people were different…Her mind went another direction, trying to avoid thinking about how many had died.

"Okay, but how did I end up with super speed there? I don't have that here, it doesn't make sense…oh wait."

"Oh, good I was hoping you could explain that. I was at a loss." Barry supplied.

"I…all I could think about when he got hold of me was that I wanted to run away, I wanted to get away and I wanted to run as fast as Barry."

"You wished yourself powers as you went in?!" Barry actually laughed. "Only you could get attacked by a metahuman and manage the one loophole that helps you on the inside of a dream world. You're amazing, Iris."

"Well, don't be too happy about it," Iris gave him a rueful glance. "Looking at your face as I went into it must have been why I was so afraid of you when you showed up the first time. Everything got all tangled up, I was so scared and your face was there and just seeing you again and feeling the constant fear made it impossible to trust you."

"Oh, so that's what happened!" Caitlin nodded to herself. "Well that makes sense."

Iris peeked Barry's way again. He looked slightly put out. "Sorry, Bear." Her voice was meek and apologetic, and the perfect way to break him out of his pique. He gave a small sigh and smiled at her.

"It's okay. I'm mad I took my mask off now, it would've been a lot easier if I'd left it on." His hands went up in a who knew? type of motion and dropped on the bed at his sides.

Cisco cut in. "That's okay, because luckily Barry has an alter ego he can revert to in such times of trouble! My idea—"

"Ahem, our idea." Caitlin gave him a look.

"Right, our idea, was that maybe if Barry couldn't approach you as himself, he could use his Flash identity to get you to trust him and take the leap. And you having speed yourself just helped even more."

Caitlin couldn't hold back any longer. "Of course, it was also our idea that maybe Barry could expose himself to the same thing and maybe his healing would help him get through with less memory loss and overall effect-"

"And we'd try to make sure the attack was limited to less time." Cisco added.

"Then maybe he could get to you and bring you back out," finished Caitlin.

By now every occupant of the room looked like they were watching a ping pong game. Henry was following along perfectly, nodding in a knowledgeable way. Barry was listening with one ear, still looking at Iris every chance he got. Iris smiled at him. Joe, who was still sitting very near her, looked like he'd heard this story several times already.

Iris nodded. It was making sense so far. Except— "How did Dr. Hebbian appear in the dream world? That was a bit of a surprise."

"Ah," Barry's tone was slightly abashed. "That. Well…"

"I told you he knew!" Cisco gave Barry a dramatic look. Barry immediately went on the defensive.

"Yeah, you said he knew, but you didn't say he could put himself into his little psychic world!"

"You never gave me a chance to even hypothesize—"

"I was trying to get my wife back! And excuse me if exposing myself over and over had some accumulative affect! It's not easy trying to sort out reality and dream world and dealing with the nonstop fear—"

Iris leaned closer to her father. "Should I be worried that they argue as if they're the married ones?"

Joe's face lost some of the haunted look he'd developed over the last few days as he tried not to laugh. "Nope. Just be glad you aren't the one arguing at the moment. Just think of them like police partners." Iris giggled, and Joe joined in as he leaned forward to bump her shoulder with his.

Both Barry and Cisco had stopped and were staring with varying levels of outrage and discomfort.

"Anyway, yeah, the good doctor can meditate himself right into that world. Which is a bit scary when you think about it." Cisco shuddered.

"Tell me about it." Iris met Barry's eyes and knew they both were remembering the eerie way the doctor had moved, how he seemed able to find them wherever they were, slip in and out of any shadow, the way he'd rippled and disappeared. "Why did he vanish?"

"Just guessing, but I'd bet that was around the time that I whacked him on the head with my gun." Joe didn't look sorry at all.

"Thanks for that." Barry was allowing Caitlin to check his pupils.

"Yeah, that must be why Barry wasn't killed right off when he got grabbed in there. Thanks Dad." Iris gave her father a grateful smile, but Joe was staring at Barry now.

"He got you? You didn't—"

"Doesn't matter now, I'm fine, Iris is fine, everyone's okay." Barry cut him off with a wave. "And we have Dr.—Iris what's wrong?"

Iris was staring at him in horror. "Not everyone. Holly! We left her behind!"

Barry sat straight up in bed, pushing Caitlin's tiny flashlight aside. "That's who your friend was?"

"She found me in there, but neither of us remembered, and then you showed up and the doctor…everything went crazy. She's still in there, Barry we have to help her!"

Iris was blinking back tears, wondering if they were already too late. She made a motion to get up, ready to do something, but Barry had already thrown his blankets off and was out of bed. He was still in his suit. "I'm on it."

Joe was on his feet as well. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! We just got you both back! And it sounds like it was a close shave last time!"

"Barry, he knows what you were doing now, there's no way he's just going to let you do it again, and he could come after you just like last time." Cisco was shaking his head.

Caitlin couldn't resist adding her bit. "Barry, you seem to be doing okay but I don't know how much more exposure even your system can take."

Barry paused long enough to let their arguments sink in. Then he looked at his father, who up until now had been silent. "Dad? What do you think?"

Henry looked slightly ill at ease to be put on the spot in front of everyone, but he didn't shrink from the question. "Barry, I never like seeing you put yourself in danger. But if there's a chance you could help bring this girl back to her family, you know I'd agree with you taking it. Just be careful."

Joe threw up his hands. "Aww, dammit! You know I can't argue with that. I don't know how I ever thought you killed your wife, Henry."

Henry grinned, looking more like his son in that moment. "That was years ago. You helped prove me innocent, don't beat yourself up." He faced the group. "Okay! So how do we go about helping this girl and making sure Barry gets back to us again?" The look he gave them all was clearly expectant, as if he knew they couldn't help putting their minds to the problem.

He was right. Each one capitulated and started to put forth their ideas and theories. Henry listened and added his own thoughts, all the while walking them right out the door.

Before they knew it, Barry and Iris found themselves alone.

Barry sat on the bed next to Iris, grinning in spite of the severity of the situation. "Do you think they have any idea they're being handled?"

Iris laughed. "Nope. Still waters run deep with your dad."

Barry's smile faded slightly as he looked at her face. Their eyes met, and hers faded too. The next thing they knew they both were kissing fiercely, desperate to feel the other, to make sure they were real. They broke apart long enough for Barry to bring her close and wrap his arms around her. She laid her head on his chest with a contented sigh.

"Iris, I was so scared. I was afraid I'd never get you back." Barry's voice was unsteady and slightly hoarse.

"You got me. Thank you. But you were going to stay with me there, Barry. What was that about?"

He shrugged slightly. "I didn't want to come back if it meant losing you. Simple as that. Life without you just wasn't worth it."

He didn't mention the first time he'd gone in as himself and not the Flash, how the untested theory of jumping off a skyscraper had been easy to attempt, because he had thought she was gone forever and was fine with the idea that it would just straight out kill him instead. His arms tightened around her as he kissed the top of her head. He definitely would've stayed there if she wouldn't make the jump; the choice had been all too easy.

She pinched his side lightly. "Don't do that again."

"Well, don't go into a coma and make me come get you again."

"Deal."

He kissed her again, and then sprinkled kisses all over her face, ending on the tip of her nose. She smiled at him, but then her worried look returned. "Do you think it's too late for Holly? I know I bought her some time but she's been there too long. I'm so sorry to ask this of you. You know I'd do it, but—"

"I know. I'm really the only one who has a shot, just like with you." He looked her in the eye, so she could see he wasn't upset about the idea.

Iris couldn't put into her words the gratitude she felt that he would willingly walk into danger to save others. She always knew the lengths he'd go to for her, but it made her love him all the more that he would do it for another person without question. Still—

"What if you can't get back?" She couldn't hide the fear that thought brought. For a moment it was like being back in the dream world again.

His hand came up to touch her cheek lightly as he stared into her eyes. "But you're out here now. I'll always find my way to the side you're on. I mean, it took me nine months the first time, but I made it."

"Just don't make it nine months this time."

"Deal." They kissed again. Then Barry sat back, turning his mind to the problem that remained. "Tell me everything you remember about Holly on the inside. I need a way to find her."

Chapter Text

Barry races through Central City, his heart pounding almost as fast as his feet. He can feel the familiar fear in his gut, and even though he's running he can feel it trying to expand.

It's oddly backwards that even though he entered the dream world with Dr. Hebbian's permission, so to speak, this time running doesn't help the fear as much. Maybe it's because Iris isn't here any more. Maybe it's because he has yet to find Holly despite having searched the most likely places already. But it's probably more because he left Iris on the other side, facing a dangerous metahuman even if he is locked inside a pipeline cell, and Barry is very aware that he has a limited amount of time to work with. Dr. Hebbian had allowed Barry to enter, but their truce was tenuous at best, and Barry isn't sure if or when it's going to expire. He tries not to flinch from shadows he runs past, telling himself that the doctor isn't going to suddenly jump out of one.

All the same, he speeds up as he runs through a dark alley, constantly on the lookout for Holly…

Iris crossed her arms to keep her hands from shaking, watching as Cisco and Caitlin each grab under an arm and pull Barry's still form, still in his suit and mask, out of Dr. Hebbian's cell. She was glad she wasn't around to see the other occasions Barry had entered the dream world if they all looked like this. She also understood why Henry hadn't been able to watch any of them. Dr. Hebbian's hands on her husband's head, his body going limp and dropping to the ground, his eyes rolling into the back of his head before closing…it was horrible to watch. She knew too well that Barry had already seen the same thing happen to her, and thinking that he must have felt the same distress made her want to cry. It was something she would never be okay with watching, even if Dr. Hebbian had been more cooperative this time around.

The cell door slid shut. Joe, who had been carefully aiming his gun at the doctor the entire time, moved with it to prevent any escape attempts. Once Dr. Hebbian was safely locked in his cell Joe finally holstered his gun. Iris moved down to stand next to her father, avoiding the sight of Caitlin and Cisco putting Barry on a gurney and heading to the med bay. She knew exactly where her husband was, and it wasn't on that gurney...

In the end, it was Henry who provided the solution to their problem. With all the stress and chaos surrounding Iris's coma and Barry's attempts to bring her back, no one had noticed Henry making regular visits to the pipeline. The occasions Barry had allowed Dr. Hebbian to put him in a coma Henry had made sure he was somewhere else. When Joe had confronted the doctor he'd been off doing research at the university library and calling Caitlin to discuss his findings.

Henry had brought up the possibility that perhaps Dr. Hebbian would allow Barry to enter the dream world one more time and extract Holly in exchange for something he really wanted. Barry had been doubtful. Joe had outright snorted, but Henry kept talking.

"Dr. Hebbian was a successful psychologist, right up until he became a metahuman. Once he did, the fear center in his brain became so overactive that he himself felt like he might die when it got to be too much," Henry argued. "To Dr. Hebbian it was a necessary evil to siphon off his fear, and it was something he actually felt guilty about. If we can somehow find a way to help him shunt off excess fear in a better way that doesn't harm anyone, he might jump at the chance."

"Whoa, he's almost like a reverse vampire." Cisco looked thoroughly entertained by the idea.

Joe shook his head. "It sounds too risky. How can we be sure he'll keep up his side? Once Barry's in there all he has to do is meditate and go find him."

"But if he really wants a cure he'll go with it," Barry mused, "Unless he doesn't believe we can do it. Can we do it?" He looked from Cisco to Caitlin and back to Cisco again.

"I, uh," Caitlin stammered slightly as she thought it through. "Well, theoretically, if we could isolate the area that is overactive in the amygdala and make something that could cancel some of the over stimulation out, then yes…maybe…" She looked to Cisco, who also looked deep in thought.

"Maybe I could design some tech that fits over the ear, like a hearing aid or something. I can give it a shot."

"So it might actually be possible?" Barry looked impressed.

Joe still looked worried. "I don't trust the good doctor. Someone needs to distract him while you're in there so he can't go all meditation attack on you, Barry. I'll stay down there, maybe my gun will keep him occupied—"

"No, I'll distract him." The others turned to see Iris, freshly changed and out of the med bay. "I can keep him from changing his mind."

Joe was already frowning in response. Barry moved to her, looking into her face with a worried expression.

"Iris, he could have killed you. He almost did. You don't have to—"

"I can't go back in with you, but I can help you out here. You go get Holly. I've got this side covered." She gave him a reassuring smile, while her eyes flicked toward her father who looked like he was about to object as well. Joe caught her glance and closed his mouth reluctantly.

Barry's eyes were still concerned, but he let himself smile. "If you're out here I don't have to worry about a thing." He kissed her quickly, ignoring the rest of the group.

Henry proposed that he be the one to make the offer, since he was on more genial terms with Dr. Hebbian. The rest of the group had to agree…

Dr. Hebbian was eyeing Joe and Iris suspiciously, backed up against the wall, eyes hard and piercing. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but Iris caught her father's eye and tilted her head, telling him to leave. Joe grudgingly stepped away, moving down past several empty cells to give Iris some privacy with the prisoner but not leaving the pipeline entirely. The doctor looked slightly disappointed but said nothing.

After watching her father to make sure he wasn't going to present a problem, Iris turned her attention back to Dr. Hebbian. He was staring at her, and the look on his face told her he clearly remembered her. She gave him a small friendly smile. If she could keep the atmosphere genial she would. Anything to keep Barry safe. He was trying to keep his face blank but there was a look in his eyes, something small behind the hard and piercing front that she recognized. Before she realized it her look had softened considerably.

"Is the fear always there? All the time?" She kept her voice quiet.

The doctor looked up, an eyebrow quirking in slight surprise, but he answered easily. "Yes. All the time." His voice lacked the hypnotic quality it had in the dream world, but it was still smooth and deep.

"Even now? You just siphoned some off."

He looked directly into her eyes. His eyes were boring into hers, practically drilling their way in. "It's getting worse. It has been for a long time."

She couldn't help breaking their eye contact. "Does being in here amplify it?" She was pretty sure she already knew the answer.

The ghost of something—disappointment?—flitted over his face. "Yes," he hesitated slightly before he continued. "I feel it all the time now. Sometimes I feel like I'm choking."

"I know that feeling." As she said it, Joe shifted ever so slightly in his stance several feet away. She spared him a quick glance to make sure he wasn't coming closer, then looked back to the doctor. He was still staring at her, unblinking. It almost felt like he was trying to communicate with her. She realized that she was feeling fear right then, that empty space in the pit of her stomach as she wondered if Barry was okay, if he'd found Holly yet.

She pushed those thoughts away to ask another question. "How did you find out you could do…what you do?"

He gave her a humorless smile, a cynical shrug. "The first time, it built up so much I thought I was going to die. Maybe that would have been better. I was in my office, late, the fear was choking me, building up. I couldn't take it. The janitor walked in, asked me if I was okay. It was…instinct. I just grabbed him. I could feel energy passing from me to him, and I was feeling better. But when I let go, he just dropped. I could feel some part of him…with me…and I tried to hold on to him. I tried to give him a life. And the dream world formed. I didn't know I could do that. But it didn't help. Nothing helped. He died. After that I never wanted to do that again. Never." He boldly met her gaze again, and she could see that truth in his eyes.

"But you did." Her voice was barely a murmur.

He laughed this time, a bitter sound. His eyes hardened. "Yes. I did. The next time it became too much, I tried to go somewhere that I could be completely alone. I tried. It did no good. The worse it got, the more I thought I was going to die. But I didn't. I got so scared I ran out of my hiding place, and I tried to go home where I might feel safe. I wasn't thinking clearly. I turned a corner and there was an old lady. Before I even realized what I was doing it was done. The fear was so strong, I couldn't think rationally."

Unbidden, a memory of Barry attempting to strangle Dr. Hebbian in the dream world arose. Iris pushed it away. "Fear can make people do terrible things."

Barry comes to a stop on a rooftop, staring out at the city and wracking his brains. He's already been to Holly's apartment, CCPN, and the gym that Iris took her to. He's canvassed the city, scouting every park and many alleys. He really hates the idea that he might be too late. That he's failed Holly. That maybe she's already gone. Fear starts to build. He shuts his eyes, pressing them tightly shut for a moment to focus, then opening them and looking around. He tries not to think about Iris, worried that she might be having trouble with the doctor. But how can she be? He's locked up. He tries to slow his own his breathing, looking around for something to distract him.

That's when he realizes where he actually is. He'd come there without even thinking about it, on pure instinct. Because it made him feel closer to his wife.

He's on the rooftop of Jitters.

He laughs slightly, looking out on the city, and he knows where Holly is. Where she has to be. The only place she'd go if she were scared and missing Iris.

He races off, deeply hoping he's right.

Iris waited for the doctor to acknowledge her last statement, but he was focused inward, deep in thought. She watched him closely to make sure he wasn't trying to enter his dream world, but his eyes were open. He just appeared deep in thought. Still, she kept talking, to keep him distracted. She needed to make sure Barry was safe. "So you go somewhere, even after an episode, to stay away from other people?"

He gave a short nod. "By the end I tried to stay away from people altogether. I never knew when it would flare. My practice wasn't safe. Not after—" he stopped, giving her a guilty look.

Iris nodded slightly. "After Holly."

He breathed out a deep sigh, as if he'd been holding it for weeks. "I never wanted to hurt her. She was a patient; she basically just needed someone to talk to. I should've sent her to someone else. But she was sweet, kind. I enjoyed talking to her. I shouldn't…I should've sent her away."

Iris felt a pang as she watched him. "She figured you out. That's why she came to talk to me. She thought there was a connection between your sudden absences and a new coma victim being reported. She knew I wrote about strange occurrences and powers so she came to me. I told her not to see you again. I told her not to go back."

He closed his eyes, a tortured look on his face. Iris was just starting to tense, worried he was about to try meditating, when his eyes opened again. They looked dark, almost black. "I wish she had stayed away. She came, to say goodbye I think, and something she said…I knew she'd put it together. I got scared. And after she was gone, you found me. I heard voices; your car was out back so I went to investigate. I saw the Flash leave to go inside, and I knew you were here for me. I…the fear jumped out of nowhere…sorry." He practically mumbled the last word.

"If you're sorry, then why were you attacking us inside the dream world?"

"I'm trapped in here, the fear keeps building, and even the Flash provoking me to siphon some into him doesn't help enough. I wanted you two out of my dream world, out of the picture so I could—" he stopped suddenly, shutting down in a matter of seconds.

Slightly disconcerted, Iris kept talking. "Just hang on, it'll be over soon and these people can help you. We'll help you."

He had a slight smirk on his face, and then his eyes met hers again, and they were black pools devoid of any hope. She could tell he didn't believe her. Her hands clenched into fists as she felt herself tensing for some unknown threat.

Holly sits huddled in her hiding place, head buried in her knees, sobbing quietly. The sounds that she'd heard earlier but was too scared to investigate were gone. The rushing wind and then a voice calling her name had only accelerated the fear that was already clawing at her. Maybe that was just some end stage symptom, hallucinations. She's alone now, but still so scared.

She came to work that day, but Iris wasn't there. She tried so hard not to panic, but inevitably the fear had choked her by midday. She'd run as far as her legs could carry her, but it hadn't helped much. Iris is gone, and that can only mean one thing. If Iris, who can run so fast and hold off the virus so long, has died, then what hope is there for her? It's hopeless.

She keeps her head buried in her arms, propped on her knees, so she doesn't have to look at the hands that are starting to glimmer, growing lighter by the second. Her sobs are becoming live things, clawing up her throat, choking her, cutting off her breath—

"Holly?"

The voice is so soft; it takes her a moment to realize anyone has spoken. She freezes, then lifts her head up slightly, afraid to look out of her hiding place, still staring at her knees. It gives him the opportunity to speak again before she gets a really good look at him.

"Iris sent me."

Her breathing is still coming fast, punctuated with small hitches, but she's not sobbing anymore. She looks up from under Iris's desk at CCPN, unable to keep the hope from her voice.

"I—Iris?"

"Yes."

She finally looks at him, sees him in the dim light. His tall form folded to get closer to her level, his kind eyes behind a red mask. She eyes him suspiciously. "How do I know she really sent you?" It seems way too good to be true.

He smiles, the way he would at a small child, kind and gentle. "Because she told me to give you this."

She looks at his hand, held out but not so far as to invade her space, and sees what he's showing her.

It's Iris' mask.

Iris could feel her breathing start to quicken. Something was going sideways with this conversation but she couldn't pinpoint it yet. She struggled to remain calm. "You don't know these people, they're very smart and they have done some amazing things. They can help you."

"Nothing can help me." His tone has a ring of finality to it. "I've tried it all. Meds, electroshock, sheer force of will. I wish I could die, but I never do. They do. They always die. It's too late." He leaned his head back on the wall behind him, slowly sliding down to sit on the floor. "I'm a rabid dog."

Iris stared at him, and a frisson of fear ran up her back.

Iris' mask.

Just the sight of it is enough to help Holly keep some fear at bay. Enough to look him in the face. "Why couldn't she come?"

"She's…umm…recuperating. I helped her beat the virus. She sent me to get you, so you can beat it too."

She stares at him, tearstains on her face, skin still glowing slightly. "Really?"

"Yes. She trusted me, Holly. You can trust me too. She told me how she took you running, how she helped you fight it. Let's beat it. We can do it together."

She looks at him, at the mask in his hand again. "I don't know..."

"I'm going back to Iris, but she's going to be really mad at me if I don't come back with you, Holly. You can beat this. Remember when she told you you'd be great?"

"Yeah."

"You still can. I tell you what, why don't you put this on?"

She stares at it, at him. "The mask? I can't."

"Yes you can. Put it on, be brave like Iris, and let me help you."

She looks at him one more time, in his red suit and mask. He reminds her of Iris. She takes the mask from his palm and slips it over her head, settling it in place. It makes her feel braver somehow. "Okay." She crawls out from under the desk.

His face relaxes somewhat into a relieved friendly smile. "Nice to meet you, Holly. Can I pick you up?"

"What?" She's just barely gotten to her feet, and now pushes back into the desk behind her.

"If I pick you up, then we can run. Like you did with Iris. It'll help."

"You can run like Iris?"

"Yup."

"Okay."

He gently picks her up in his arms, slowly lifting her up bridal style. She holds his shoulders awkwardly. "You could go piggyback style if you want," he offers.

That actually gets a small laugh from her, and he can feel her relax slightly. "No thanks."

"Okay."

"You're not a rabid dog." Iris could feel that her voice was slightly unsteady.

"I am." His voice was certain, but there was no heat to it. Just calm acceptance. "The Flash didn't bother to check my belongings there, but if he had, certain things might have been made clear."

"Like what?" She moved closer to the glass door, almost bumping into it. Joe was starting to shift nervously further down.

He didn't even appear to hear her question as he pushed forward. "I'm sorry you two showed up that day. It would've been a lot easier if you hadn't. I'm sorry you got mixed up in it, but at least now no one else has to die." He closed his eyes, sitting against the back wall of his cell, and lowered his head.

Iris slammed the glass with her fist. "What are you doing?" Joe pulled out his gun and approached as she caught the last words Dr. Hebbian murmured, eyes still closed. "I'm a rabid dog. And there's only one thing you can do with a rabid dog."

"No!" Iris barely had time to hit the glass again before Joe was there, gun drawn, starting to punch in the code to open the door. She gasped in horror as she realized what was happening. She flashed on the memory of Hebbian being strangled by Barry, how he just lay there and didn't fight back. She was almost positive there had been a gun hidden in his sleeping bag five days ago.

This was Dr. Hebbian's plan all along.

Barry's just turning around, Holly in his arms, when he stops suddenly. Holly looks where he is looking and gasps softly, tightening up instantly.

A man is standing at the other side of the room, close to the exit. The lamplight from outside gleams softly on his balding head, his piercing eyes appraise them. He doesn't move. He looks threatening, but also sad.

"It's too late." His voice is calm, which only seems to amplify their fear.

"Dad, no!" Iris grabbed her father's hand and pulled it from the keypad. If he entered the cell with his gun, it was all over. There was no way she could defuse the situation then. Joe gave her an incredulous look and moved to punch in the code again, but she shoved herself in front to push him back from it and addressed the prisoner.

"Dr. Hebbian—"

"It's too late." The doctor's voice was saddened, but his eyes were still closed.

"No it's not! Doctor, a rabid dog doesn't care who he hurts until he's put down. You might not be able to control it but you do! You do care! You are not a rabid dog!"

Her voice rang in the open pipeline, echoing down the corridor. There was a moment's pause. Joe hesitated, horrified behind her as he realized what Dr. Hebbian wanted him to do.

"Please let these people help you. Don't give up." Her voice was quieter, but still urgent.

The doctor's eyes stayed closed.

The shadows are thick in the darkened room, and Barry can feel the fear welling up in him as he sizes up Dr. Hebbian. Finally Barry meets his eyes. "You remember our agreement?"

There is a pregnant pause in which the other man hesitates slightly. He looks turned inward, listening to a different voice. Holly can feel her new friend tensing up, ready to fight.

Then, finally, the other man nods slowly.

Barry nods back, muscles relaxing somewhat. "Thank you."

They watch as Dr. Hebbian closes his eyes. He slowly ripples, fades and vanishes.

It's only when they're all the way outside that Barry smiles down at Holly. "Let's go for a run before we do anything else, it'll help you prepare for what's next."

By this time, she's ready to trust almost anything he says.

"Okay."

He flashes a smile at her. "Everything's going to be okay, Holly."

His golden lightning flashes as they speed away into the night.

Joe was too terrified for Barry to wait any longer and was just starting to key in the code again when Dr. Hebbian's eyes finally opened. He looked directly at Iris, reading the desperation in her eyes, but also the conviction.

"Alright." He leaned his head back but kept his eyes open, waiting.

Iris breathed out a shaky breath. Joe turned away, resisting the urge to throw his gun far away. He ran a shaking hand over his forehead.

"You ready?" The red-suited stranger smiles down at her, still carrying her. She tries not to look down, tries not to look at the railing or the surrounding buildings.

She breathes deeply a few times, gathering her courage. "Yes."

He steps over the railing and drops feet first off the building. They're both falling…faster and faster…falling…

Holly opened her eyes.

"Call her doctor! She's awake!"

Holly blinked at the ceiling, wondering why she was hearing the beep of hospital machines. Someone grabbed her hand. She turned her head on the pillow and spotted someone she hadn't realized she'd been deeply longing to see: Her mother was squeezing her hand while tears streamed down her face.

"Mom."

"Holly, honey. I've been so afraid."

"Me too, Mom. Me too." When she couldn't say anything else, her mother leaned over to hug her tightly. They clung to each other until nurses interrupted them.

Chapter Text

Barry and Henry stood in the main cortex, watching the pipeline on a monitor. Dr. Hebbian was standing in his cell, listening as Cisco and Caitlin took turns talking. Both seemed very animated. Dr. Hebbian actually looked slightly friendly for once. Or maybe it was hope he was showing.

"How did you even get on good terms with him, Dad? He's been pretty hostile."

Henry's eyes didn't leave the monitor, but he smiled slightly for his son's benefit. "I didn't treat him like a bad guy. I treated him like someone who needed help."

Barry frowned slightly. "I never looked at him like that. He was killing people. He almost killed Iris. He just seemed like so many other bad metahumans out to hurt people."

"Not everyone who hurts someone else is evil. Some were just trying to survive. If Ronnie and Dr. Stein weren't away on 'business' they'd tell you the same." Henry's voice was a soft murmur, but Barry got the point.

"I guess I wasn't helping matters provoking him into attacking me so I could find Iris. He probably felt pretty used and abused when he figured out why I was doing it. If it were me I wouldn't be looking to do us any favors either."

Cisco was now holding up a small tech device for Dr. Hebbian to inspect through the glass. Caitlin was pointing to a few areas and then to Dr. Hebbian, who seemed quite uplifted all of a sudden. Barry turned to his dad. "Do you think it'll work?"

Henry looked at his son. "The theory is sound. Some of my research helped Caitlin work out some wrinkles. But that tech, that's all Cisco's problem, I can barely work a blender."

Barry chuckled lightly then grew serious. "If it does, we need to turn him over to the authorities. Unfortunately he has several deaths to be accountable for."

"Agreed." Henry nodded. "But I'd rather help someone who needs it and then deal with the justice system, instead of leaving them trapped in more ways than one."

Barry smiled. "Dad, I was so busy worrying about Iris I didn't even think about Dr. Hebbian as anything but a threat and a villain. I'm glad you didn't. You're still teaching me new things."

Henry smiled too. "Gotta make up for lost time."

"I'm in awe of the man you are," Barry turned to face his father. "You're still someone I look up to."

Henry's face lit up. "Thank you, son." He hugged Barry, grateful for the chance to do it after so many years apart.

Joe sat in the med bay, slumped in a chair. Iris was sitting across from him. The silence was heavy.

"You weren't going to kill him, Dad. Even if he wanted you to. I know you better than that."

He looked at her, face full of doubt. "I don't know. I was so afraid for Barry I didn't even realize what he wanted. I was going in that cell. What if he'd threatened you? What if I reacted without thinking? What if he just grabbed the gun from me? I wasn't thinking straight. Something very bad could've happened."

"It didn't. Everything worked out. Don't beat up on yourself."

"Everything did work out—because of you. You did good, Iris. Sometimes I don't know how I ended up with such a positive uplifting daughter, when her dad sees the worst in everyone."

"Now that's not fair. You're a cop. You're supposed to see the dark side of people. Not trusting people's intentions helps you stay alive. I'm really glad about that!" She gave him a look, and he laughed slightly. Encouraged, she leaned forward. "Dad, keeping me safe like you did, protecting me while I grew up, seeing the worst in people so I didn't need to, maybe that's why I am so positive. You're cynical about people so I don't have to be. So thank you."

Joe looked at her, a smile growing in spite of his mood. "No. Thank you, baby. For dropping off a building and coming back to me. To us."

She pulled a face. "Sure, anytime." They shared a laugh as she hugged him.

"Go find your husband. I'll be fine." He watched her run out of the room, then stood and stretched, trying to relieve some built-up tension. He was ready to go home. It had been a long week.

Iris rushed into the main cortex, spotting Barry immediately. Hearing her approach, he turned her way and before she could move to him he was instantly in front of her, wrapping his arms around her.

"Hi." His voice was a quiet murmur, the word drawn out as he smiled into her eyes. Just that action was enough for her to feel assured that he was fine. His big grin made hers grow bigger too.

"Hi." It was the answer to his unspoken question, the reassurance he needed, and an expression of happiness all in one. He pulled her closer for a kiss.

When they parted, Iris finally noticed Henry, still staring at the monitor in a very fixed way, concentrating on it way more than he needed to. She giggled, embarrassed. "Sorry, Henry."

Henry put a hand up to shield his eyes, but they both could hear the laughter in his voice. "Sorry for what? I don't see anything."

The sound of Iris giggling echoed down the hallway as she grabbed Barry's hand and pulled him toward the door and home. He willingly followed, unable to focus on anything else.

But that was just fine with him.

Epilogue: One month later

It started as a regular day at work. Iris took a seat at the long staff table and debated on whether she wanted a bear claw or not. Her boss stood to introduce the newest staff member, and she was trying to pay attention as she reached across the table for the plumpest looking pastry when she heard the name of CCPN's new employee.

"Please welcome Holly Bancroft."

Iris forgot about the bear claw. As the rest of the staff gave a lackluster welcome she scoped the table, looking for the new but very familiar face. It didn't take long, the red curls and blue eyes were already aimed her way from the other end. Iris broke out in a delighted smile. Holly's shy smile emerged.

"—any volunteers to be her mama bear?"

"I'd love to." Iris put her hand in the air.

Her boss breathed a sigh of relief. Sometimes getting anyone to mentor a cub was like pulling teeth. "Great, thanks Iris. Now, on to our bylines…"

Once the meeting was over Iris was free to move closer to Holly. "Holly! I'm so glad you're okay. I heard about the coma."

Holly shrugged. "You told me not to go back. Sorry. I just…I thought maybe I could find something else to help you."

"You were trying to be a journalist." Iris patted her shoulder in approval. "That's good, I just need to teach you how to keep yourself safe while you do it." She noted Holly's discouraged look. "Hey." Holly met her eyes. "You're going to be great." She smiled warmly at her friend.

Holly stared at her for a moment, her brows drawn together in concentration. "Have you…said that to me before?"

Iris kept her face blank as she quickly covered her slip. "Don't think so. Besides, you helped me crack the case with Dr. Hebbian in the first place. You're already ahead in the reporter game."

Holly hesitated for a moment, but then let it go. "Yeah. I heard that he got some help to control his condition and is going to stand trial soon. Guess I have you to thank for that."

"Well, me, but it was the Flash who apprehended him. And you deserve some credit of course! Come on, I'll show you around."

Holly fell into step beside Iris as they headed towards her desk. She looked at her new mentor and grinned, excitement blossoming. Somehow she already knew this was going to be awesome. Good thing she chose someone amazing to be inspired by.

Iris West-Allen, all-star reporter.

It was night and the city was lit up with lights, twinkling and glowing. Iris stood on the roof of Jitters and pulled her sweater around her. When she saw a trail of golden lightning streaking down the nearest street she smiled and waited.

Barry appeared next to her, blowing her hair into her face as he leaned his elbows on the wall next to her and surveyed the city as well. "Fancy meeting you here." He turned his head to look at her, a flirty smile on his lips. He was in his suit, fresh from a patrol, but his hood and mask were already off.

She shook her head at him, laughing. "Hi honey, how was your night job?"

"Not bad. Caught some robbers, interrupted a high-speed chase. Pretty slow evening." Grinning, he leaned over to kiss her leisurely. "Much better now, though. How about you?"

"I'm mentoring a new cub reporter at work."

"Oh yeah? That's awesome."

"Yup. Holly."

His mouth formed a surprised "o" shape. "No way? That's really awesome! Does she remember anything?"

"She gave me a funny look when I said something I'd said in the dream world, and when I placed our latest picture of you at the top of my article she kept staring at it, but I don't think she has full memories. She probably thought it all was a dream and forgot about it."

He moved closer, sliding his hands around her waist, rubbing them up her back. She let him, facing him so she could lean close and enjoy his relaxing touch. "You'll be a great mama bear, Iris. Holly is lucky." His chin touched her forehead before she looked up at him, then he leaned his own forehead down to rest on hers. She smiled into his eyes.

"Thanks, Bear." She kissed him this time, running her hands up his front until they rested on his chest, on either side of the lightning bolt. When they parted she found herself staring at it, a slightly forlorn look on her face.

He knew her too well. "Do you miss it? Having speed, even if it's in the dream world of a metahuman who infuses deadly fear into everyone he touches?"

"Sometimes." Her eyes flickered a moment, and he could tell she was reluctant to acknowledge it. So he waited for her to find the right words, his eyes concerned and patient.

"It's just—I miss helping people like that. Like a hero, you know? Nothing quite compares to saving people from being crushed by a car, or apprehending bad guys before they even know what hit them. I…liked being a hero." She shrugged, trying to dismiss it.

Barry had been listening intently and took a few seconds before he replied. "I understand that, but, Iris—do you remember how Oliver told me the lightning chose me?"

She gave him a look. "Not helping, but yes."

"Well if it can choose, it could've chosen anyone. It could've chosen you. You would've made the best of heroes if you'd been struck by lightning, I have no doubt of that."

"What's your point, Barry?" She was pretty sure he was leading up to something, but he was losing her on the way there.

"It's just…maybe the lightning chose me because I need it to be a hero. You don't."

"What." Her tone indicated he was starting to sound like he was speaking Greek.

He smiled slightly as he brushed a strand of hair off her cheek. "You do so much, you accomplish so many heroic things just the way you are, without speed or any other kind of crazy metahuman ability. I always wanted to help people, but without the speed I never seemed to be able to." He smiled softly at her. His mouth opened and closed, looking for the right words. "You kept Dr. Hebbian from hurting himself or Holly and me. You gave yourself an edge to keep yourself and Holly alive in the dream world. You are so amazing, Iris. You've never needed speed to be my hero."

Warmth spread through Iris, hearing his words. She blinked back tears, smiling up at him. "Thank you, Bear. That means everything to me." She pulled him in for a kiss that they both enjoyed and settled her head on his chest. His voice rumbled under her cheek when he spoke next.

"Of course, I get the idea that you probably miss the feel of running too."

Her head came up immediately. "I do! I miss the speed, the wind and the power, it's so exhilarating, Barry!" Her tone was wistful as she looked up at his face. He was looking down at her with a gleam in his eye. She narrowed her eyes slightly. She knew that look.

"Wanna feel it again?" His look was an invitation.

"I don't feel like having my clothes burned off tonight, this is my favorite blouse. Besides, being carried by you is great, but it's not the same."

Instead of looking disappointed, he just seemed to get more excited. "Oh that's true! But I have an idea…" his words faded into the night as he sped away. A few seconds later he was back holding familiar looking items.

Iris stared a moment. "Is that…my suit? I thought that only existed in the dream world!"

Barry grinned. "Funny thing about that, I had to have a real life version of something to see and hold, then I could have it in the dream world. I couldn't just imagine one and have it appear. Maybe because it wasn't my psychic world, I don't know. I hid this away before Cisco remembered and confiscated it." He held it out proudly.

Iris looked at it. It was so very tempting…

Barry could read the look on her face and moved in. A whirl of clothes and red tripolymer later, she was standing in her suit. Her hood and mask were still off, but the rest of it was just as she remembered. She looked down at herself. "I love this thing. Cisco really built it for me?"

Barry couldn't take his eyes off her as he replied. "He stayed up all night to do it. He's dedicated."

"And a genius." Iris looked up at Barry again, her eyes dancing. "I love it, but I don't think the speed comes with the suit. Or does it?"

"It does when you have a speedster husband willing to help you out." He moved closer and reached back to pull the mask and hood over her face. Their eyes met as he gently pulled them into position, smoothing her hair and making sure everything fit just right. Iris noted that the mask was still separate from the suit. Its strap fit under her hood, but was still an independent feature she could wear by itself. Her hood ended around her hairline, leaving a small gap of forehead between that and her mask. The slight design variation stood out, different than Barry's and more unique. She liked that.

She realized he was staring at her, his gaze taking in every nuance of her masked face.

"You look really good in that." He breathed it like reverent praise.

She smiled back, immensely pleased. "Thanks."

He put on his own mask and turned his back. "Hop on."

"Now, with my suit instead of clothes you can go even faster than usual, right?"

"Oh, yeah," Barry half-laughed as he nodded, grinning at her question. "But you better hold on extra tight."

"Oh this is going to be awesome!" Iris laughed as she hopped on piggyback style. He shifted slightly, settling her in securely and hooking his arms around the back of her knees. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and cuddled him from behind, landing a kiss on his covered ear. "Let's go, stud!"

Barry was laughing as he took off running. Once he hit the street and could get even faster, her laughter joined his. The faster he went, the more her laughing progressed to whoops and shouts. He whooped too, throwing in an extra burst of speed. She wrapped her arms even tighter around him to keep from falling off. They ended up pressed together so close it was hard to distinguish where one ended and the other began. Her chin touched his shoulder as she leaned forward, face level with his, reveling in the wind as it rushed past them both. A blue spark ran between them, heightening the feeling of their connection.

"Run faster, Barry!"

"You got it!"

"You call that fast?"

"Oh that is it…"

"That's more like it!"

Their combined happy voices echoed in the still night as a trail of golden lightning illuminated the dark.