Chapter Text
It's been five days since Mafuyu ran away and moved into Kanade’s house.
The feeling of being drowned alive, resurfaced back to life, and drowned over and over again, was as suffocating as ever, anxiety reaching its highest peaks in her current vulnerable body.
That night she ran away, and she ended up in Kanade’s arms weeping under the storm, feeling like she had nothing left for her but her composer holding her together, keeping her from falling apart.
And now, Kanade felt like she was the guardian angel that was sent to protect and save her within and beyond her nightmares.
Although she was so grateful that Kanade took her in, helped her wash up, gave her some tea and food, and then a comfortable change of clothes,
She was still beyond exhausted and all she wanted was to lay down and sleep. After all, anxiety and fears pierced through her veins every dreaded hour of her being conscious and she couldn’t take it anymore.
She really just wanted to sleep and lull some of the pain away.
Kanade seemed to have noticed this, however, as she gently took Mafuyu’s hand into her own, leading her toward the bedroom. The purple-haired teen was grateful to have someone guide her when her mind was in the clouds, her ears were ringing and her body was running cold.
She felt warm arms against her biceps, the shorter girl was gently guiding her to sit and lay down in bed, and she did so with no complaints as exhaustion was catching up to her.
Silently, Kanade sat beside her in bed and it gave her a weird sense of 'Deja Vu' for when she had once ended up in Kanade’s bed when she was sick a year ago… How weird was it that her mind and soul always needed the composer when she was most vulnerable?
How her body always carried itself towards Kanade’s home? and how Kanade always welcomed her in the safest and warmest of embraces until she was soothed to safeness.
Bony knuckles softly caressed her cheek, traveling up to her forehead before pushing her fringe back. The thin fingers then threaded through her purple locks, soothing her aching head.
She let her eyelashes rest on her cheeks, taking a deep breath as the pounding of her heart settled down. Her arms were crossed over her stomach, and she felt so content and warm for the first time that night.
Much to her dismay the movement stopped, and her eyes shot open in feign irritantance.
But when she met Kanade’s gentle hues and pink started shyly dancing on her cheeks, Kanade’s gaze was so warm and gentle that it made warmth spark in her heart.
“Are you feeling alright Mafuyu?” The composer's voice was as gentle as her music, a soft melody untangling the tangled mess in her mind.
She only hummed in reply, feeling Kanade’s hand lift off her head.
“Alright then,” The said girl smiled before standing up, “I’ll be going now, you can find me in the living room… on the coach I suppose…”
However this caused a frown to replace the once-content look on the lyricist’s face, why would Kanade be in the living room? And so she asked,
“Why…”
“To sleep?” The composer cocked her head to the left confused when she heard Mafuyu’s breathing hitch. The lyricist had an unhappy gaze sketched on her face, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth in contemplation.
No good? The composer did not want to upset Mafuyu after all, quickly trying to think of a better answer.
Unconsciously the hand that was in Mafuyu’s hair lowered back down to gently cup her cheek, her thumb reaching out to tug the lyricist’s lip from between her harsh teeth, not wanting Mafuyu to hurt herself by accident.
‘Does she want me to stay? No, it can’t be, she must need space to gather her thoughts right? Or do I stay until she sleeps and then leave?’
Deep into contemplation, she gasped when she felt a much bigger hand envelop her wrists and her eyes lowered to meet Mafuyu’s eyes.
Her face was scrunched up furrowed in sadness as she whispered, “Don’t go…”
“Huh?”
“Don’t leave me alone… please.” She was begging, her other arm wrapping around Kanade’s arms tugging the girl closer. “Please, I can’t stand being alone right now…”
Voice breaking into a whimper, and holding even more in desperation.
“Mafuyu…” Kanade gasped eyebrows scrunching up in worry, before she wiped it off to let a smile settle on her face comfortingly, “Alright… I won’t let you be alone anymore.”
‘Deja Vu’ she smiled. She was glad mafuyu was able to find shelter with her, and she swore to continue protecting this girl till her last breath.
Sighing, she let her free hand go back to threading Mafuyu’s locks before humming, “Do you want me to close the lights?”
“If you want…”
Kanade frowned at that, “I want? Don’t you want to sleep?”
“Yeah but… if you want to sleep with the lights on then that’s alright.”
“Eh?! Where will I sleep though?” She questioned before she flushed suddenly, “Do you mean…”
Mafuyu gazed away, before patting the small space between her torso and where Kanade was sitting, “Sleep here… with me.”
“Uhm!” She flushed, shaking her head before nodding, if that's what Mafuyu needed then she was going to comply with no complaint.
She slowly lay beside Mafuyu, breathing hitch as her eyes met Mafuyu’s. Her face was flushed, opposing Mafuyu's pale and currently emotionless face. She was not used to being this close to someone so she just let Mafuyu settle comfortably instead.
Mafuyu on the other hand felt warmth bloom in her chest as she stared at Kanade. She took a deep breath before closing her eyes, feeling the other girl’s gentle breathing on her face as they had to share the same pillow.
She was warm, she was feeling sleepy, and she could finally rest.
But something was missing.
Like the ache in her heart needed something more, a little more for the sparks in her heart to settle and let her body rest.
However, she had no idea what it was and she instead tried to ignore the nagging feeling and focus on trying to sleep.
“What's on your mind?”
Huh? There really was no point in hiding, Kanade had and will always know her better than she knew herself.
“I feel… I think this is good but. I think… something is missing. I still feel slightly cold… here. I'm not sure...” She took her hand and placed it over her chest, looking into the blue orbs searching for answers, her own face having a disappointed frown etched on it, she hated not understanding
“Something missing?” Kanade hummed, nodding slowly before asking, “Maybe we can… h-hold hands again? Last time we held hands and you fell asleep so maybe…”
She whispered, looking away from Mafuyu’s curious eyes. She was still feeling a little embarrassed and she was worried this was not what Mafuyu wanted.
It worked the last time, and Mafuyu felt content and rested well, so maybe if she did it again?
Thankfully before she could let her overthinking let her mind wander, the elder girl just hummed, removing her hand from her chest to intertwine it with Kanade’s own.
Kanade felt her heart skip a beat, warms blooming from her veins up to her heart as their palms pressed, connecting them closer.
Their eyes met, comfort swirling in their orbs, bodies unconsciously shuffling closer for more warmth.
Mafuyu tucked the blanket closer to them before closing her eyes, Kanade copied the girl squeezing her hand once more before taking a deep breath and letting sleep take over.
That night, both girls’ warmth managed to lull the other to sleep without letting a nightmare interfere with their goodnight melodies and heartfelt dreams.
It became a routine for the next five days, sleeping beside Kanade felt so natural it almost astounded her.
During the nights, their legs would tangle but the mess inside their head would untangle, it was like they needed each other to sleep, like their bodies needed the other’s warmth to feel secure.
If the composer’s arms were her new home, she dreaded the homesickness she would experience when the girl let her go.
Mafuyu had slept well that night. She was exhausted beyond words from crying, and running, but finally being in Kanade’s arms and home she managed to finally rest.
The next few days, they found themself getting closer, it felt so guileless.
Mafuyu felt so content to be able to wake up after a good night's rest for once. To flutter her eyes open and see her dear composer lying beside her.
Secretly, by the third day, she was delighted when she woke up before Kanade, staring at the composer’s relaxed sleepy face. For once, the once purplish dark circles were fading and she swore to make it a routine for them to fall asleep at the same time together for as long as Kanade would keep her there, so that
Today was the fifth day.
When she woke up she wasn’t held by the composer’s gentle arms. She wasn't nestled into Kanade’s warmth, she was all alone.
It made her feel rather nauseous for the first time in the last five days. She had gotten so used to waking up in the arms of the smaller girl today not being the same made her feel so cold and gloomy.
She heard a few commotions outside, and cautiously she decided to leave the comfort of the bed to instead press her ear against the door to investigate.
Kanade was outside of their now shared bedroom, talking with her housekeeper Honami from what Mafuyu was able to hear, and from what she recalled Kanade warning her about the night before.
Mafuyu has begged Kanade to not inform Honami that she was here, as the anxiety within her has made her feel like if she were to let anyone from her school know about her whereabouts, her mother would find her and do the unspeakable to her once she was back home.
Shuddering at the thought, she curled in bed again glancing at the ceiling.
She felt cold… she wanted Kanade back.
She wanted to have breakfast with her, listen to her songs, write music together… just go through the routine they have been practicing for the last five days.
She missed Kanade…
Even though the girl was right in the next room, it felt like she was so far away.
Maybe it’s because they had spent every moment together for the last five days that she felt this cold and lonely without her, but she also didn't want to burden Kanade more by asking her to come back to the room to stay with her to keep her company.
She wanted to go to the Sekai, noticing that Kanade had left her phone right beside Mafuyu, yet Mafuyu felt like she would be selfish to take Kanade’s phone and go to the Sekai while Kanade was outside taking care of the house for Mafuyu to be comfortable in.
Feeling dizzy, cold and so alone… She closed her eyes and let sleep take over yet again, the sound of the quiet hums from outside the bedroom lulling her to sleep.
A while later she opened her eyes again, noticing that the sun was beginning to set. Sure that Honami had gone home, she uncurled herself from the safety of the bed and walked towards the living room with a blanket wrapped around her tightly.
Her body relaxed and life started igniting in her eyes when she saw Kanade sitting on the couch, calling someone on her phone. She felt so happy to see the silver-haired girl again.
She stood there behind the coach for a while, not moving. She wasn’t sure what she wanted…
The last time she felt this cold and alone, Miku let her lay her head on her lap to cry it all out… so maybe if she?
Noting that the conversation Kanade was having seemed casual enough for Mafuyu to not be intruding, she made her way around the coach and plopped down on it, letting her body fall sideways so that her head rested over Kanade’s thighs and turning around and burying her face into the shorter girl’s torso.
The composer gasped in surprise, her body tensing before relaxing when she realized it was just Mafuyu nuzzling her face into her stomach, relaxing her body back onto the couch.
Her free hand that wasn’t holding the phone rested in between Mafuyu’s soft locks, gently scratching at her scalp. She hummed a few goodbyes before putting her phone down, focusing her attention on the girl in her lap.
The said girl turned her face from where it was buried in Kanade’s stomach to instead lay straight on her back to face the composer.
“Is everything alright? Hello by the way Mafuyu,” Kanade gently whispered in a greeting, running her fingers through the locks over and over, twirling them in her fingers.
Her gentle blue eyes met Mafuyu’s night sky’s purple hues, smiling happily to see her lyricists looking like she slept well.
Mafuyu however only groaned in response, turning around and digging her face back into Kanade’s stomach.
The shorter girl looked at her sympathetically, before muttering in apology, “Sorry for being away for too long, how are you feeling? Slept well?”
Mafuyu was quiet for a while before replying softly, “I’m exhausted ‘cause I did not move all day. I think… I missed you. I’m not sure but I think… “ She furrowed her eyebrows. She wasn’t sure how she was feeling, but she knew one thing for sure and so she said, “I just want to be close to you now.”
“Ah!” Kanade flushed, embarrassed after hearing the reply before asking, “Do you want to talk? Or just sit in silence together?”
“Silence for now please.” She whispered, letting her body sink into the safety of the younger girl's hold, enjoying her company and presence.
“Alright then,” The silver-haired girl hummed before leaning forward to grab her laptop from the snack table in front of the coach. She placed it on the armrest of the coach, twisting her upper body slightly to get some work and studying done while she let Mafuyu’s head lay in her lap.
Mafuyu let her eyelashes rest on her cheeks again, cherishing the moment of being close to her safe person, relishing in the warmth Kanade was emitting.
She relaxed listening to the constant tapping of Kanade’s keyboard, the hum of the TV, and the sound of the neighbors. It was all oddly so faint yet calming in a way.
A while later Kanade felt Mafuyu’s hands reach up to wrap around, her body curling into a ball and her head still buried in Kanade’s lap. She now had her eyes open while she toyed with Kanade’s sweatshirt, clearly starting to get bored after lying down and doing nothing.
The composer sighed in affection and Mafuyu felt a hand back on her hair brushing her bangs back so she glanced up her to meet the warm blue hues she’d grown to find all the warmth in. Kanade stared at her for a while before teasing fondly, “So clingy aren't you?”
Mafuyu shook her head, pink blooming on her cheeks, and a rare smile of amusement contouring her features. Eyebrows raised in amusement, eyes twinkling in happiness, a gentle smile painting her face.
Kanade’s own lips parted in surprise before she let a toothy smile meet Mafuyu’s,
‘Her first real smile…’ Her cheeks flushed, warmth fluttering in her body. She felt so happy to be able to see Mafuyu smile a real smile… to be the reason Mafuyu is smiling.
A while later Mafuyu got up, choosing to sit beside Kanade instead, sitting so close to the composer’s side that they were almost snuggling, before leaning her head against her shoulder to stare at the small laptop screen.
She let a sigh out of her nose, closing her eyes again to enjoy the melody and the warmth of Kanade’s body.
When the composition ended Kanade turned her head to get Mafuyu’s attention, gently humming, “Hello Yuki,”
The girl in question got up, turning her head to meet Kanade’s eyes again, a calm yet emotionless look contouring her face as she said, “Hi…” Even when Mafuyu struggled to properly show any emotions, she was grateful she did not have to mask around Kanade. She was grateful Kanade was able to read her like an open book, just by reading her hues.
“Hungry yet?” The said girl asked, tilting her head to the right in question.
Mafuyu sighed before shaking her head, “Not really… Can I listen to your new demo again? I like it...”
The composer immediately pressed play, letting Mafuyu listen to the lively melody. It was comforting and sweet, another gentle melody that never failed to calm Mafuyu’s soul. She leaned further into Kanade absorbing the melody 'till it was done.
She opened her eyes again, pulling away from Kanade to face her. “It’s really calming, I like it.”
“Is that so? I’m glad then” Kanade sighed happily, carefully placing her laptop on the snack table before reaching to hold Mafuyu’s hand in hers.
She stood up, pulling the taller girl with her. “Let’s eat Mafuyu, you haven’t eaten all day.”
Mafuyu nodded, giving Kanade another soft smile before following her to the kitchen for them to prepare yet another meal to share together.