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“I need to talk to you” Berserk and Boomer exclaim to each other in the middle of the hallway, strange looks coming from people just trying to get out their textbooks. “What a weird coinky-dink” Boomer says.
“You’re not saying that unironically. Right. Right? Anyways, it doesn’t matter. I need to lament to someone about my crush and you seemed like the best option because you’re too stupid to realize who it is.” Berserk tells Boomer.
“First of all, I’m NOT stupid!” Boomer tells her as she rolls her eyes. “Secondly, I wanted to talk to you about my crush cause you’ll be mean to me and get me to snap out of it.”
“Ugh, fine. I’ll do it.” Berserk sighed, maybe going to Boomer of all people was a terrible idea. “You just can’t resist these charming blue eyes.” Boomer batted his eyelashes and made a sultry expression, yeah. It was a terrible idea.
“Huh, no wonder Brat wants to rip your throat out.” Berserk pondered as Boomer only barely realized what she said. “Go off about your crush, I’ll make sure to be an extra bitch, just for you.” She gave a fake smile and leaned against her locker.
“Well, first of all, she has this amazing red hair, I wonder if it smells as good as it looks? Anyways, she's like– tall and cool and she hates my guts.”
“I wouldn’t blame her.” Berserk quips.
“Well, she’s one of the ‘good guys’ which means I’m her mortal enemy for eternity. Probably. Not if I have anything to say about it, though.” Boomer said, sickeningly in love. “She also looks great in red.”
“So what I’m hearing is that you’re a delusional man who can’t take a hint?” Berserk cocked an eyebrow.
“Well, y–”
“And that you’re never going to be able to turn her to your side, or even get her close enough to you to like you.”
“That too–”
“So what you’re saying is that this’ll never work out and you developed a crush on someone who hates your guts.”
“Yes.” Boomer responded quaintly. “What about your crush?”
“Really hot red-head. Probably closeted, if straight I could make her turn. She’s also way too fucking smart that she’s fluent in multiple languages. GOD she’s hot, if only I could–”
“No fantasies, please.” Boomer shudders. He can’t even handle Butch talking about his crushes.
“Fine. I just want her so baaaad!” Berserk wails to Boomer, shaking him.
“Your crush sounds like mine, that’s funny. Anyways, you lamented. Oh– would you look at the time? Me, Brick, and Butch have to go to… do stuff. I’ll see you around, serk.”
“Only my sisters call me that!” Berserk yelled angrily as Boomer as he skipped along his merry way.