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Ranpo stared at the delicious platter that was set in front of him, it looked oh-so-delightful. Most importantly, it was delicate.
He wasted no time and dug into the rubbery skin of his meal with his knife. It looked a little bit unappealing but it was still going to be worth it.
He put the piece in his mouth and chewed it thoroughly, it didn’t taste as amazing as he thought it would.. eh, who cares, it’s still good.
Your head is decaying
He swallowed and cut off another piece of the meat, this one tasted a bit better but it was also a bit undercooked…
Ranpo has never been much of a good cook though. It was good enough.
He cut off a thicker piece this time. He ate it with his hands, like a barbarian.
‘Lick, lick’
He licked a red substance off his fingers, he seemed to have severely undercooked his meal but it was fine.
How tasty
Ranpo let out a hum of approval to himself. It wasn’t sweet, yet he liked it.
He looked over to the raccoon sitting near him —Karl, Poe’s pet—, he smiled at the small animal.
“Are you liking your meal, Karl?” Ranpo asked the raccoon directly, Karl was eating away already.
The raccoon looked like he was enjoying the meat, or at least, that’s what Ranpo thought was going on behind those beady eyes.
“Good.” Ranpo said in a slightly dark tone, but the raccoon couldn’t pick up on that, of course.
Ranpo reached into a bowl of candies, gave one to Karl and ate one himself.
Candied eyes of puppies
The candies tasted really sweet, they were better than the actual meal.
Let me fill a jar with them
But he couldn’t just eat the candy instead of the meal he worked so hard to prepare.
He swallowed the candy and picked up his utensils again, he cut a thinner piece of meat.
He had to remove a few annoyances from the piece, it was easy but there were a lot of them.
He put the annoyances aside, dipped the piece of meat in a special sauce and ate it.
The Mille-feuille on the dish tastes like love
It tasted even better with the sauce. Maybe he should get Mushitarou to enjoy this dinner with him and Karl..
No. He decided against it. He didn’t think Mushitarou would like it as much as he did.
Q. Are you going to eat everything on the table by yourself?
Ranpo looked at the raccoon, smiling again.
“Did you like the candy? I hope you did.” His tone was a little ominous but, of course, the small animal didn’t understand the odd tone.
A. I love sweets!
“Personally, I love sweets!” Ranpo said in a much brighter tone. “Don’t you, buddy?”
The raccoon only continued eating, he reached his little hand to the bowl of candies, took one and devoured it.
“So you do like them?” Ranpo laughed, he gave the raccoon a gentle scratch on the head. “I’m glad.”
Ranpo turned his attention back to his meal, and his smile widened.
Entertain me with the special full course
He picked a piece separate from the main course, he put it in his mouth and sucked the meat off of the bone.
The meat on this piece was dry, Ranpo really had no skill for cooking.
He sighed and put the bone down, at least he didn’t screw up with the appetisers.
Then he did something a bit strange. He blew a kiss to no one in particular, not to Karl, perhaps to..?
Ah.. no one would want to think about that right now.
Your face, your fingers, your mouth
Ranpo reached into the bowl of candies again, he took one and dipped it in the special sauce.
Let me completely enjoy the mild honey
The mixture of the sweet candy and the savoury sauce was, how should he put it.. odd but good.
He licked the remaining sauce off his fingers.
With my tongue ──
He extended his arm and took hold of the plate of strawberry tarts, dragging it to be in front of himself.
He picked up his fork and cut a piece from the tart. He dipped it in the special sauce.
Strawberry tart with special sauce
He took another candy from the bowl, put it on his fork alongside the piece of strawberry tart and put some cream on it.
Decorate it with an eye and put on more cream
He put the combination in his mouth and chewed it thoroughly, it was tasty. Ranpo sure did know how to make pastries.
Though, he was feeling a little nauseous now, probably because of the undercooked meal. Or maybe the truth of what his meal was?
He continued eating anyway, it was going to be worth it anyway.
Feeling dizzy because of the sweet smell?
He picked up the fork and knife again.
My love goes with a fork and knife
He dug into a socket of the meal, taking out a circular, jello-like piece.
My beloved, my beloved
He put it in his mouth, chewing on it thoughtfully, he reminisced on what got him to this point.
The hidden taste makes it jello-like
This meal was quite good, despite its discrepancies and the mistakes Ranpo made while preparing it.
I’m feeling fulfilled
Ranpo ate more, switching between the sweet and the savoury while still reminiscing on his situation.
"I love sweets!"
He was feeling more sick as he went on, it was starting to take an effect on him.
Entertain me with the special full course
He was smiling the whole time, a wide smirk on his face.
I’m wearing a full smile
He was almost finished with his meal, the large platter almost empty.
Because I ate up everything
He ate the last chunk of the strawberry tart, the last thing.
I completely devoured the sweet chunk in my mouth
It was as if he was in a trance because of the delicious meal, he loved it despite the bad preparation he’d made.
You can tell I'm entranced
He began thinking about Poe, his beloved Edgar.. the fact that his darling was inside him now.
That was the thing he loved most.
Entertain me with the special full course
He hadn’t added any spices to the meat, purely to keep the original taste and flavour.
Use love spells and words of love as spices
It didn’t ruin the flavour much, Ranpo quite liked it.
"I Love you so deeply that I want to eat you"
Ranpo felt more sickly and nauseated now, he was definitely going to throw up.
He sat still, he didn’t feel like moving in the first place
He felt bile rise to his throat and gush out of his mouth, spewing out onto the floor.
My beloved
Vomiting tasted bad, Ranpo didn’t like it one bit.
Yet, there was more vomit coming out of his mouth.
He swallowed it back down.
Not to be stolen, not to be torn apart
That tasted worse.
But he couldn’t let his dear Poe’s lovely meat leave his digestive system yet.
Stay inside me ──
Was this truly what it was like to be in love? Wanting to literally eat your partner whole?
Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. But Poe agreed to be eaten, so he was fulfilling his darling’s wishes.
He even cooked and fed Poe’s liver to his raccoon, Karl.
Fulfilling his love’s wishes was the highlight of his life as of this day. He loved Poe, his dear Edgar.
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
“I love you..” Ranpo choked out, the taste of his vomit made him feel more sick.
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
He laughed loudly, it was more of a strained giggle than anything.
Ehehehehehe
He stayed sat in the chair, giggling maniacally.
