Work Text:
When the whole world throws itself on you,
When nothing can be enough to cover the loud noise
And your insides spin, and your fingers tingle restlessly,
Know that you’re not alone, as I’m dealing with it all too.
Remember that If it ever gets unbearable, you may tap my shoulder,
I’ll call it a night and take you somewhere where you can sit by yourself
Tonight only, you said a single word, enough to make me stop in my tracks
It called me back to you, I let go of your door handle,
Hang my coat and step back to you.
My body brought heat to the cold side of your bed.
When I moved closer to you, your shoulders stiffened
I hesitated until you took a deep breath and shifted,
So I whispered you sweet nothings with warm breaths and
in hopes of lulling the remains of panic out of you
I trust that you’ll stop me If this isn’t what you desire.
I can recognize the way you wince, I let it happen
As I stroke the soft scarred skin of your shoulder.
Finally, you mumble a few words to which I listen to them dearly.
Tonight only, you spoke to me about your needs.
Your hand took mine and placed it over your chest,
You lead me, I squeeze you
Tight, to press your back closer to my front,
Close, to have my arm dragged just well over yours
Enough, to drag a long exhale out of you.
A sigh. Something that I only dreamt of hearing.
When you allow me to, I will press my lips to the back of your neck,
Kiss you for more than a few moments.
Tick by tick, the thick air around us issues into clouds
Until we can feel the sole breeze from your open window
The circles I caress over your skin send shivers up to the back of your spine,
I run my nose over it until I reach the baby hairs at the top of your neck.
You clutch at the soft silk sheet covering our mattress,
So I stop and wrap my fingers around your palm
To secure. I secure you with all that I have.
I thumb the tears off from the back of your hand,
Were the circumstances different, I would’ve kissed them.
I would’ve left your knuckles weightful by just the graze of my lips.
Guide me and I’ll cover you with my comfort,
Say the word and I’ll do anything,
You don’t have to turn around and kiss me too,
The single word you spoke earlier was the only spur I needed.
For decades, each time I showed up in person, to greet you
To see you, to feel the presence of you-
You only took my orders and rushed back to work.
Leaving me withered and with yet another offering hidden behind my back
To I bring home and drown in whatever chapped vase
Until the leaves turn brown and the petals stretch and slump.
You’re as firm as ever. I know you’re struggling to keep yourself unyielding.
Unbending, unwavering. I see your eyelashes flapping
With the each few seconds’ blink, you’re not allowing yourself to doze off
Knowing that you have another duty to take care of when the sun rises.
I can only hope that, with time, you’ll try to at least consider my
“I could always ask the other adepti to take care of your work today.”
As another one of my pathetic pleas of a hidden “Stay with me.”
And that you won’t regret it after.