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You've been here before.
By now, it's old hat. Your peaceful dreams transition to restless hallucinations as the wet season continues and the wormhole approaches its periapsis. You often try to sleep for the sake of keeping your routine, your sense of normalcy. However, there are also nights like this when the Glow hits; nights where you would prefer sleep to elude you altogether than chase an imaginary hopeye out into the wilds.
Beside you, a mess of red hair tosses and turns. Your dreams are not the only ones that ebb and flow with the seasons; a cruel irony that the planet at its most beautiful is also the most damaging to the person most important to you. You look at the time, and know she'll soon wake. You rise, and go to the kitchen to start preparing one of her favorite meals. As you do, you reflect on your dreams- the echoes of lives that once were and will be.
There were constants- Anemone was always there at the start. Not always your soulmate, but always a friend. Always a pure soul. Always lost her brother.
Always torn apart.
Once you had lived a life of idyllic ignorance, of simply trying to exist peacefully. You wanted to help your friends, but didn't know how- and you watched so many die. Tammy, Mom, Dad, the planet. Though it only happened once, the echoes of that life still ring loudest; a determination that it could never come to pass again. You also lost Nem, here. Not to death, but to distance- you could not mend her wounded heart.
Always torn apart.
Many times you had lived a more proactive life, discovering more about the world alongside Tangent. You fell for the scientist over and over, and even though she left every time, she still loved you back in her way. More importantly, you saved many lives. Tammy, Dad, Mom, the planet, all protected by your decisions. But when you tried to reach across the emptiness to Nem, you didn't know how. Still you lost her.
Always torn apart.
Even as the memory of childcare and lab experiments echoed throughout your head, you played sportsball, learned how to defend yourself, and bravely stood against the xeno attacks during Glow. You saved Hal, and the governor, and grew close again to Nem. You were determined to save her brother- you fought alongside him once, and you even defeated a Faceless in single combat- but it was never enough. He always fell, and Nem always suffered.
But this time was different- you stayed close to her, offered your support. When she found comfort in another's arms, you were happy for her despite your misgivings. But when you first saw the bruises on her face, you knew it was wrong. And when Nem fled to you, you knew you would never let it happen again- in this life or another.
Always torn apart. Always deserved better.
Even when you grew close to Dys and discovered Sym, you still made time for Nem. Still played, drilled, and stood watch with her. And when she gave voice to the trouble in her relationship, you spoke plainly: the way he treats her isn't healthy. And when you finally confessed to her, she voiced her fears that it might be the same as him. But you promised, and you knew: it's never going to be like that again. And when you negotiated an end to the xeno attacks, you knew exactly how you were going to keep that promise from now on.
Always will be better.
When she finally wakes with tears in her eyes, you're sitting next to her. She leans into you and wipes the tears away as you rub gentle circles into her back, feeling patches of scales and knowing where every single one came from. Neither of you speak for several minutes, until she turns and places a kiss on your lips.
"Couldn't sleep?" she whispers, and you nod softly. "I think you have the right idea," she adds with a small laugh. You give her a kiss in return and move off the bed, grabbing a glass of juice and the omelet you made. "Babe... For me?" she coos, taking the omelet and juice with a warm gaze.
As she eats, you go and clean up and get ready for the day. When she's done, she brings the plate over and gives you a warm hug. You feel her nuzzle her head into your chest before she pulls away and looks at you fondly, brushing a strand of hair out of your face.
"I love you, Sol."
"Love you too, Nem. Always."