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Kris was feeling bored one day. They sighed, looking out the window of their house, longing for better days, different times, the dark world, etc. Suddenly they had an idea! Kris remembered their old days of pranking, and decided it would be a fun idea to do something very silly and yet dastardously mischievous. They remembered one of the old pranks they used to play on Asriel all the time, called the “No Surprise Pie”. Kris knew that this name was actually kind of a misnomer considering the fact the pie was actually very surprising.
Kris went and retrieved the pie tin and crust from the refrigerator, and laid these things on the kitchen counter. There was a way to bake the pie crust with no filling, they remembered. All they had to do was put wires in there, and leave a special note inside for the person receiving. They quickly wrote the note, scrawling with their chicken scratch. They then carefully placed the pie crust inside, and laid the top crust layer on top of the thin wiring they had put inside. They threw it in the oven for a probably too long amount of time.
Once the “pie” was successfully baked, they pulled it out of the oven. Kris’s mom, Toriel, came in the kitchen and saw they had a pie in mitt.
“Oh, Kris, you baked a pie! Is it for us?” Toriel asked. Kris shook their head. “For a friend?” Yes, you could say it was for a friend. Toriel smiled. “What a nice thing to do!” She went back to doing whatever she was doing. Yes. No one suspected a thing. Perfect. They walked out the pie and took it to a certain someone’s house.
“Heya kid, how’s it goin’? You doin’ okay in school?” Sans asked them.
Kris ignored his question. “I made this for you.” Kris handed him the pie.
“Oh, for me? How nice. Maybe I’ll have a bite of it with my brotha. You know, the one you promised to hang out with.” Sans said. Kris nodded yet again. He clearly had no idea.
Kris went home and went to bed that night feeling very good about their amazing prank. Sans was gonna get so owned.
…
Sans cut the pie with a knife. The pie made a loud sound resembling that of a whoopie cushion, as all the airy contents leaked out into the world. Sans picked up the note that read “Haha, got you, silly bone man.”
It was just as Sans had expected.
“Looks like this means war between us, human,” Sans said to himself. “A RACE WAR! I MEAN A PRANK WAR!”
“SANS, SHUT UP!” Papyrus screamed from upstairs.
“Sorry bro.”
…
Kris went back to Sans’ house the next day.
“Heya kid,” He spoke somewhat menacingly. “I got your pie, you really got me good. I left you a very special surprise in your mailbox. It’s really gonna BLOW your mind, you’ll be BOOMING with surprise. I’m sure you’ll have a real EXPLOSIVE reaction.”
Kris started screaming and crying and rocking back and forth on the floor internally. DID SANS ACTUALLY PUT A BOMB IN THEIR MAILBOX?? They ran home at the speed of lightning, knocking over several pedestrians on the way. They checked their mailbox and there were…
Bath bombs.
Ha. Ha.
Kris sighed of relief but was still kind of mad at him for implying that their house was gonna get blown up. They went inside, turned on the telly and watched some mid Sunday cartoons. Then, they started hearing some odd noises from the other room. Kris’ mother’s room. Weird
They approached the door slowly, pie knife in hand, ready to attack. They quietly opened the door, and…
…
The next day, Kris passed Sans’ store.
“Hey kid, how’s your mom?”