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Lavender rolled over in the hospital bed, her mind in turmoil.
The war was over, well, at least the fighting was. The part that gets left out of war too often is the clean-up, the re-build; moving on. Another tear ran down her soaked face as she thought about all they had lost.
Her best friend had lost a twin, she also was a disfigured orphan.
The last she saw of Dean, he was having an arm painfully regrown and recovering from a near-fatal encounter with a giant.
Seamus was fine, except his family was currently classified as missing.
They’d lost Harry, and a few teachers and their home was ruined.
It was all over, but there was nothing left to celebrate for.
Everyone thought they knew Lavender, they were all sure that the reason she was holed up in her room was because her scars from Greyback were horrific, a maze of freshly healed, raised pink scars marring her beautiful face and trailing down her neck and across her back.
She was 17, so yes, she was allowed to lament the loss of her good looks dammit, but that was over the first night. She was Lavender Brown, beauty was implicit.
She was hiding because she couldn’t handle it.
She couldn’t handle not seeing the faces she had become so familiar with. Even the living had changed. Nothing was the same as before.
She couldn’t bear to see scars, or empty chairs, or desolate faces. She didn’t want to see what the rest of Hogwarts looked like. She just wanted to curl up in her bed, inhale the clean scent of the hospital wing and sleep. She wanted to sleep through it all.
Lavender just wanted to be able to wake up to a rebuilt world, with happy people and a whole Hogwarts. If she could sleep through the still building chaos and reach the resolution, everything would be fine, but eventually she knew that she would have to leave her sanctuary.
Lavender Brown wasn’t ready. At all. So she feigned vanity and hid from Parvati, wishing she was as resilient as her friend. She hadn’t lost nearly so much as the other girl. Lavender still had her uncaring parents and her younger brother was out of the country, safe with distant relatives. She was alive, with a future and a family, but here she was hiding from the world because she was too weak to face it.
Why the hell was she ever sorted into Gryffindor?
Well, she wasn’t smart, she wasn’t cunning, she wasn’t fair, and she wasn’t brave. She didn’t fit any house, so did the hat just roll some fucking dice?
Whatever the case, nothing had prepared her for what came next, as she wallowed in fear and self-pity in that pristine white bed.
For a second she thought it was Ron walking into her room, and she remembered that awkward moment when, after snogging Hermione to within an inch of her life, he locked eyes with her; she cringed.
But this wasn’t Ron. It was definitely a Weasley, but it wasn’t one she was familiar with so she deduced it must be the dragon-keeper Charlie, as she went to school with most of the others, and Bill was married to Fleur and she was acquainted with the couple.
“Lavender Brown?” He wasn’t paying any attention to her at all, face buried in a clipboard and shaggy hair falling into his face. Lavender immediately loved his arms though, clad in a black t-shirt his muscly arms were on display for all who wanted to gawk at their wonder. They were broad and freckled so heavily it looked like a thorough tan, with dark tattoos weaving paths up into the sleeves of his shirt.
Lavender couldn’t take her eyes off of them.
She dated the wrong Weasley!
“Lavender? The chart says Lavender but the healers have been swamped lately so I apologize if this isn’t your name.” He was now staring at her with pained blue eyes, but not the way she wanted him too. He looked as if he was coercing a wild dragon into a reserve.
That was wrong. He should be checking her out. She was Lavender Brown, damn the scars.
“Yes, I’m Lavender. Are you Charlie Weasley?” She asked.
He smiled back sheepishly, “Was it the hair? It's usually the hair.”
“Yes, that, and process of elimination. You’re the only one I’m not familiar with yet…Why is that? I’m even friendly with your older brother.” She inquired, batting her eyelids.
“Well, Romania is far, even with the Floo connection and Portkeys, I’m not able to visit often because I’m so busy. I’ll be here for awhile though. They need all the medically-trained people they can get right now. It says here you need to be evaluated for any werewolf traits showing themselves. It’ll just be a few questions though. I had to do my brother Bill too.”
While he was engrossed in her chart, she took the chance to cast a few discrete charms to freshen her face and fluff her hair. She didn't care that he was seven years older. Age was just a number; and seven wasn't that big of a number anyway.
“Okay, Charlie, that’s all fine. I’m ready.” She straightened her posture, hoping to get him looking at her the way she craved.
He lowered his chart and gazed at her for a moment and for a second, Lavender thought this was too easy.
Then he pointed to her shoulder and said calmly, “There’s a spider on your shoulder.”
After letting out a squeal mingled with fear, frustration and embarrassment, Lavender temporarily halted her plan, swatted away the spider and answered the questions of a chuckling Charlie, hoping he would leave soon and spare her further embarrassment.
Her confidence renewed the next day, when Charlie revealed he had asked to take over her recovery permanently. He has to see something in me, she thought.
Three days passed of Lavender’s most obvious flirting and besides some quiet laughter and adorable blushes, Charlie hadn’t bit once. They talked a lot about themselves, only skimming the surface of her fears of leaving the room and his devastation at the loss of his brother.
She was going out of her mind. Maybe her scars were worse than she thought.
It was now the fifth day of Charlie coming in to check on her and he seemed as comfortable as always. “Hey Lav, how are you feeling this morning?” His sad blue eyes crinkled as he smiled at her and, as usual, she turned to mush.
“I’m feeling a bit peaky. Are you sure there aren’t any tests to check for anymore side-effects from curses? I’m positive something is wrong still.” Lavender knew she was just delaying the inevitable, but she wasn’t ready to leave her sanctuary. She wasn’t ready to leave Charlie.
The red-haired man sighed and sat down in his chair at her bedside.
He spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully. “Lavender, you and I both know you are completely healthy. You know how to handle your new traits well. I’m not sure why you have been delaying your own release, but I’ve played along since that first day. Is it-is it the scars? If so, you should know, you’re one of the most beautiful girls around, and-- and living with those scars and these changes just makes you all the more desirable. You know that, right?”
Lavender was doing somersaults on the inside. He knows I’m gorgeous! He knows I’m gorgeous! He has to like me!
With a shy smile completely out of character, a blushing Lavender thanked him demurely, but told him he was wrong.
She then returned to her old self. “I know I’m beautiful, scarred or unscarred. I got over that quickly. I-this is going to sound really cowardly, but I just can’t go out there.”
Charlie noticed her eyes were tearing up and he gripped her hand tightly, silently asking, “Why not?”
“I can’t deal with what’s happened yet. I can’t deal with knowing that there are people who aren’t going back to their lives. There’s going to be these-holes everywhere. Desks and beds and jobs and lives. All holes with no people to fill them. I don’t handle small changes well, so when my world is shifted and these people that I’ve grown up seeing are just, gone. I don’t understand how to move on.”
Charlie sucked in a breath. “Lavender, I understand. It’s hard for me as well, knowing that-that Fred won’t be back at the shop tomorrow. It’s hard seeing George as a shadow of himself and knowing that some of my friends died out there. Merlin, I know that’s hard. I haven’t gone a day without crying yet. But you can’t hide out in here in fear. Your friend, Parvati? She needs you. She may not know it, but she needs you right now. They’re all saying it. That she needs her best friend to help her manage. She’s nothing like they described her. She’s…hard now. Closed off. That shouldn’t be the end for her.” Charlie’s arm was around Lavender now, and she was leaning into his warm side, his gray tee slowly becoming soaked from her tears.
“Charlie?” She wiped her eyes before looking up at him, his teary blue eyes meeting an amber-tinted hazel. “Will you help? I mean, I know we don’t know each other that well, but, you understand. I trust you to help. Please? Help me through this?”
“Of course, Lavender. Why wouldn’t I? I promised Pomfrey I would take care of you, didn’t I?”
Lavender hid a relieved smile. She wasn’t joking when she said her parents were uncaring. They only checked that she was alive and hadn’t even visited. She needed someone around to help her. “You did. Thanks, Charlie. I don’t know what I would do next if it weren’t for you.”
Charlie’s chuckles vibrated through her body. “You would have done the same thing to any man who walked through that door, I’m sure. Yet, I can’t bring myself to be offended. I know I’m just meat to you,” he joked. She was glad that he lightened the mood.
“Charlie! How rude! I like my meat rare, not alive!” She sat up and pushed him onto the bed, easily since he didn’t resist. Straddling his chest she growled at him teasingly. He laughed at her antics, warm hands grabbing onto her pajama clad thighs.
“Wait a minute there. You just said you don’t like live meat, and now you attack me? You know I handle dragons on a regular basis, I’m sure I can handle a girl named Lavender.”
She just smiled at him for a nanosecond, loving how he said her name, then rather impulsively swooped down and attached her lips to his without warning. It was perfect. Charlie gave as good as he got, and he obviously had no problem with her being Ron's age.
She had gotten distracted nibbling at his perfect bottom lip when she felt his hands slip under her pajama shirt, hands resting lightly on her hips.
We fit. She thought to herself. I have to leave this room if I want to have him and a normal life. Living on a dragon reserve couldn't be so bad.
His tongue felt made for her as it explored her mouth, making sure there was no stone left unturned.
After several minutes of breathless kissing, Lavender came up for air, her eyes never leaving a goofily grinning Charlie, who’s only words were, “You’ve been saving that for a week haven’t you?”
Lavender ignored him. Placing her hands on his defined pecs, she asked a serious question. “You weren’t joking were you? If I go out there, you’ll be with me, right?”
“Of course, Lavender.”
“Good. I’ll need some real clothes, and a shower.” She hopped off of the man after a quick peck on his swollen lips and disappeared into the bathroom.
“And don’t be fooled be the girly name! I’m sure you’ll be scrambling to keep up with me!”
An hour later, the petite Lavender emerged from her room with an ostentatious hickey centered on her scarred neck and radiating a proud, content beauty. The rest of the day, she was to be seen pulling around a smiling, hulking Weasley while she searched the Great Hall for ‘her best friend ever’ Parvati.