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Everything seemed to happen so fast.
A tiny spark, which turned into a small fire, which then turned into a big flame that engulfed the SM headquarters.
Hyukjae could only vaguely remember navigating himself along the corridors that were all so familiar to him amidst the thick smoke and haze. He had tried his best to navigate the other artists and employees out of the building, even though the smoke seemed to suffocate him with every second and stung his eyes. He held the emergency exit door open, guiding the others down the stairs.
“Just get out of the building and find somewhere safe! Go, go , go!” Hyukjae remembered himself screaming down the stairwell, his voice acting as a guide to the artists and employees running down. After he had ensured that he had gotten most of them down to the pavement safely, he shut the door behind him, running down the stairs as fast as he could.
The SM headquarters was a beautiful building to say the least, almost like a jewel in the city district. Now, standing outside across the road from it, Hyukjae had to say otherwise.
Hyukjae weaved through the crowd of people who were watching the scene worriedly, trying to find the other SM artists, or anyone he knew or recognised, for that matter. There were already firemen and police trying to handle the situation outside the building, though it looked as though there was no handling of the large flames, so Hyukjae assumed they must have gathered the artists to someplace safe.
“Hyukjae-ah!” He heard his name being called from somewhere. He spun around to find Yesung waving at him, a look of worry on his face.
“Yesung-hyung!” Hyukjae ran towards the older member, being greeted with a tight hug of relief from Yesung. “Are you okay?! Any injuries?”
“I’m okay, no injuries whatsoever,” Yesung managed a shaky smile, looking the younger member up and down. “How about you? I heard from some of the others that you were helping out in the building before coming out.”
“I’m fine, I think,” Hyukjae looked down at himself, dusting off his shirt that was covered with ashes and soot from the fire. “Where are the others?”
“We’re gathered somewhere nearby with some other artists,” Yesung explained. “Leeteuk-hyung did a headcount and from what he knows, we’re only missing you and Donghae.”
Donghae.
From what Hyukjae remembered, he had found Donghae recording something in one of the recording studios in the building before the fire happened. He remembered Donghae shooing him away from the studio with a bright smile.
“Yah! I just wanted to see what you were up to!” Hyukjae remembered yelling playfully at Donghae, who had pushed him out of the recording studio.
“I know, I know, but this is a secret!” Donghae laughed. “It’s a surprise for our new album, but I can’t show it to you just yet, not until its ready.”
Hyukjae pouted as the recording studio’s door shut in his face, a chuckle from Donghae emitting from the other side. He huffed to himself — oh well, if Donghae didn’t want him there, then he should just leave! And so he did.
However, for some reason a nagging feeling told him to stay. Maybe he could just wait till Donghae was done? Or he could break in again? Hyukjae shrugged to himself — he should probably respect his privacy. So he continued on his way to the practice rooms on the other side of the building.
Now that nagging feeling seemed to haunt Hyukjae.
Oh god.
“Hyukjae? What’s wrong?” Yesung turned to look at Hyukjae.
“You said that Donghae and I weren’t accounted for,” Hyukjae recalled, a sudden realisation hitting him. “What if he’s still in the building?”
“Yah, don’t think that way,” Yesung gripped Hyukjae’s shoulders, looking his dongsaeng in the eye. “I’m sure he’s okay-”
“No, hyung, he was in the recording studio, and I wanted to stay but I didn’t, what if he’s trapped inside?” Hyukjae cut him off, looking back at the burning building, panic gnawing at his heart. Fuck, fuck, fuck. “I have to get to him!”
Hyukjae made a run for the building. He couldn’t let his bandmate, his best friend, his soulmate burn and die in there! He had to find a way to save him!
“Hyukjae, stop!” Yesung yelled as he held Hyukjae back, holding the younger member back. Hyukjae flailed in his hyung’s tight grip, screaming and retaliating against him.
“Let me go, damn it! I need to save him! Donghae-ah!”
As Yesung held him back, Hyukjae couldn’t help but feel helpless as he screamed for his best friend, his voice going hoarse as tears streamed down his face. He should’ve waited for him. He should’ve stayed.
“Donghae, I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
-----
Donghae was woken up by the sound of crying beside him.
He sat up in the bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly and running a hand through his hair. He turned beside him to see a sobbing Hyukjae, his head in his hands, and his body trembling as he tried to control his breathing.
“Hyukjae?” Donghae looked at him, a feeling of worry washing over him. “Hyukjae-ah, are you okay?”
He was taken aback when Hyukjae lunged at him, wrapping him in a tight embrace and sobbing into the crook of his neck. As if on instinct, Donghae rubbed soothing circles on Hyukjae’s trembling back, letting the older member cry it out. He had many questions in his mind — what happened to him? Why was he crying, and crying really hard for that matter?
Eventually, Hyukjae had somewhat calmed down, his hard sobs dissolving into soft sniffles in Donghae’s embrace, though the tightened grip on him never seemed to let loose.
“Sorry for waking you up,” Hyukjae apologised, a glint of embarrassment in his voice.. “Didn’t mean to.”
“Hey, it’s no problem,” Donghae replied. “What about you, though? Is something wrong?”
“Just a silly nightmare, it’s nothing, I promise.” Hyukjae tried to play his breakdown off, but Donghae being Donghae, he could see through Hyukjae easily, and obviously he wasn’t convinced that he was feeling okay.
“It’s not a silly thing if it ended with you crying the way you did,” he stated, making Hyukjae shift uncomfortably on the bed. “But hey, I’m awake if you would like to talk about it. No pressure though.”
Hyukjae looked down, a feeling of hesitancy bubbling up inside of him. He didn’t want to relive the horrific scenes that played throughout his nightmares, but for some reason he couldn’t shake it off. Maybe talking about it would do him some good.
Hyukjae took a deep breath, explaining everything that he could remember from his nightmare — from the fire engulfing the SM building , the way he was screaming for Donghae, and the immense guilt he felt throughout. It all seemed so vivid, he was still somewhat convinced that it all happened, like a sense of deja vu.
“It felt so real, Hae,” Hyukjae let out a shaky breath as Donghae’s grip on him tightened slightly, a silent gesture of support. “I really thought I lost you there. I really, really did.”
“Well, I’m still in one piece right now, so I want you to be comforted by the fact I’m still here,” Donghae’s voice was hushed, soothing even. “I know it felt real, but you’re here with me now. You’re safe, okay?”
Hyukjae looked up at him, his eyes looking for reassurance in his. “What if it happens again? I don’t want to relive that again.”
“Then I’ll be right here for you,” Donghae responded, his voice unwavering as he looked down at Hyukjae. “We’ll get through it together, like we always do.”
Hyukjae couldn’t help but let a small smile, taking the opportunity to wipe away the remnants of his tears.
“Do you know what I found funny about this, though?”
“What?” Hyukjae cocked his head in confusion at Donghae.
“It all happened at the SM building, didn’t it? We aren’t under SM anymore, you know that?” Donghae flashed a smile, making Hyukjae punch him lightly as a response, letting out a soft chuckle. “So you don’t have to worry, we won’t be stepping into that building too much anymore.”
“Hey, we’re still Super Junior under SM, remember that!” Hyukjae playfully retorted.
There was a moment of silence between the two of them, the soft glow of the moonlight outside seeping in from the windows, casting a soft shadow against the two Super Junior members as Hyukjae leaned into Donghae’s embrace.
“Hae-ah?”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you for being here for me.”