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YI CITY

 

1. The Missing Piece

Through the joint effort of Xue Yang's prepared ritual and Wei Wuxian's skills with demonic cultivation, Xiao Xingchen is resurrected. Having promised to give information in return for his help, Xue Yang tells Wei Wuxian about Jin Guangyao's involvement in Nie Mingjue's death, handing over the latter's headless corpse. Song Lan is offered his revenge, but Xiao Xingchen implores him to stop his blade before he can kill Xue Yang.

 

2. The Risen Moon

After Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji leave to meet up with the junior cultivators, and Xue Yang has passed out from his wounds, Xiao Xingchen still can't bring himself to speak Xue Yang's death sentence, insisting that he has so many questions that need answering. Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan awkwardly try to catch up. With one blind and one lacking his tongue, they resort to Song Lan tracing characters on Xiao Xingchen's palm. There's still treasured companionship there, despite all old pain.

 

3. Poison In The Air

Xue Yang warns that there is still corpse poison in the dust of Yi City, and with a storm coming it's not safe to stay in the town. Very reluctantly the daoshi agree to leave, barring any better plan for their uncertain future. Outside the city, Song Lan shows Xiao Xingchen to a-Qing's grave. The guilt and grief almost undoes the delicate spellwork keeping Xiao Xingchen's mutilated soul together, and only through working together Song Lan and Xue Yang manage to help him back from the brink. Exhausted, but not daring to stay any longer near such a place of death, they keep walking away from Yi City.

 

4. To Kill A Monster

Song Lan hungers for vengeance with all the justified resentment he carries, and only stays his hand for Xiao Xingchen's sake. They come upon a small farmstead and ask for a place to stay the night. They're offered the stable and fed supper, and in return the peasant family begs their help to fight monsters who killed their little son. Despite Xue Yang being half-dead, and Xiao Xingchen still being brittle after his recent resurrection, they agree to go on a Night Hunt.

 

5. Is It You?

The monsters turn out to be Man Measuring Snakes, a whole nest of them. Very grudgingly, Song Lan unties Xue Yang so he can help fight, or at least act as bait. For Xiao Xingchen, stuck in a whirlwind of conflicted emotions, the fight offers a moment of precious clarity. Once they've killed all the snakes, they're attacked by a feiyi, a gigantic drought demon cobra. Xue Yang saves Xiao Xingchen by throwing himself at the monster, and then Xiao Xingchen saves him in return when the feiyi attacks him. Song Lan realizes to his horror that the twisted love Xue Yang clearly has for Xiao Xingchen is not entirely one-sided.

 

6. Sticks And Stones

Xue Yang refuses to let himself get tied up again, and he and Song Lan get into a nasty fight where Song Lan ends up slapping Xue Yang hard and firmly tying his hand again. Once they've returned to the little shed to rest, Xue Yang and Song Lan have a wary talk about what Xiao Xingchen needs to recover – to remember what it is to want to live, and be happy. Neither one likes that the other seems needed for that, at least for now. As they leave to walk on, Xue Yang tricks Song Lan to untie him, and binds him with a makeshift talisman made from dry leaves to have a chance to talk to Xiao Xingchen alone. He offers him his vengeance, anything he wants to make them even so they can start over, placing Shuanghua against his own throat. Overwhelmed and horrified, brittle soul tearing at the seams, Xiao Xingchen collapses.

 

7. Reawakenings

Xiao Xingchen slowly comes around, confused and dissociated. Song Lan tells him what happened, and that he and Xue Yang had a vicious fight. Xue Yang told him how to use his resentment to strengthen the demonic cultivation sigils keeping Xiao Xingchen together, but when Song Lan confronted him on his guilt in Xiao Xingchen's relapse, telling him that his very presence is what tears Xiao Xingchen apart, Xue Yang despairingly staggered away and disappeared into the night. Xiao Xingchen says they have to find him again, if only to stop him from committing more atrocities, though Song Lan realizes that's not his only reason. Against his better judgment, he agrees.

 

8. The Coffin House

The daoshi choose to keep walking away from Yi City, and soon pick up news of Xue Yang threatening to kill a peasant family unless they helped him, but being chased off. They follow the trail to Tanzhou, asking around but finding nothing. Finally a little beggar girl gives them a lead, and when they follow it, they hear news that Xue Yang got into a fight, was shoved in front of a cart, and that he's dead. Manic with desperation, Xiao Xingchen hurries to the Coffin House that took in the body, screaming with grief once they find Xue Yang in a rickety coffin. But at last moment, he finds a weak pulse, and implores Song Lan to let him try to save Xue Yang. Realizing how badly it would hurt and maybe even kill Xiao Xingchen to refuse, Song Lan agrees.

 

9. Bitter Medicine

Xue Yang wakes up in a sick-bed, surprised to still be alive, and even happier to find Xiao Xingchen at his side. They have a wary conversation, slowly beginning to talk things out. The doctors the daoshi took Xue Yang to finally told Xiao Xingchen how badly hurt Xue Yang is, likening his wounds to 'torture'. Horrified that he hadn't realized, he is forced to admit to himself he can't stand the thought of losing Xue Yang, despite everything. At his turn of watching over Xue Yang, Song Lan coldly tells him that Xiao Xingchen gave him his blessing to kill him back in the forest, and that the only reason he's not doing so is because it would hurt Xiao Xingchen. But that will no doubt change, once Xiao Xingchen experiences for himself what a horrible person Xue Yang is and learns to hate him anew.

 

10. Lay It To Rest

While Xue Yang is recovering, Xiao Xingchen helps the local Coffin House with burial rites to guide wayward souls to rest. On the way back to the others, he meets the beggar girl again, and thanks her for her help by giving her the money he was given for his work. He returns to spend some time with Xue Yang, with whom he's already had several hurtful fights over the last few days. He gives him an apple he brought, and checks in on the state of Xue Yang's qi, berating him for burning it out completely. Xue Yang doesn't mention it was to save Xiao Xingchen's life when he collapsed, but holds onto the apple like a lifeline long after Xiao Xingchen leaves.

 

11. Strangers With Teeth

The intense moment of Xiao Xingchen's touch helped rekindle Xue Yang's qi, and he begins to recover in earnest. Song Lan contemplates his new state of being, a conscious fierce corpse with his free will given back, the terrifying resentment that's part of him now. They start making preparations to leave, and decide to have a farewell dinner with the two lady doctors. One of them tells the story of the Wolf of Zhongshan, about a kind scholar who saved the life of a wolf who later tried to eat him. On the way to their rooms, Xue Yang remarks that the wolf ended up killed in the end, implying he knows his place in this sort of story. Xiao Xingchen wearily tells him to get some sleep. The next morning, the two lady doctors – who turn out to be married - watch the trio leave.

 

12. Settle Your Dust

The three leave Tanzhou and keep walking without destination, just getting reacquainted with the world. Xiao Xingchen strikes up a tentative conversation with Xue Yang, learning more about his work for the Jin. Xue Yang is still recuperating and the pain and exhaustion puts him in a bad mood, so Xiao Xingchen transparently claims that he needs to rest and meditate for a while, an attempt at manipulation so weak Xue Yang can't help but laugh – which maybe was Xiao Xingchen's true intent all along. They get into murkier waters as Xiao Xingchen asks Xue Yang why he stayed, considering all the cruelties he flung at him that last day of their previous life. They get into an argument, and using Fuxue to write in the road dust, Song Lan has to interfere and tell Xue Yang to back off to keep from driving Xiao Xingchen to another collapse.

 

13. Silver Tongue

They rest and meditate at a wellspring, but are soon joined by a band of other travelers. The daoshi are asked to help with a sickly traveler, and Xue Yang is amused when some of the others mistake him for a daoshi as well and starts trading fortunes for sweets and lumps of silver. Song Lan catches him at it and is furious, dragging him away to explain himself to Xiao Xingchen, who doesn't really know what he's supposed to do about it. They get into another fight, with Song Lan using Fuxue to sign at Xue Yang, and Xiao Xingchen getting distressed that he can't follow what they're saying and snaps at them. The next morning Xue Yang surprises Song Lan with a talisman to help him speak, so Xiao Xingchen won't have to be so upset again.

 

14. Crossroads

Finally able to speak freely, Song Lan hurries to talk to Xiao Xingchen, to ask his forgiveness and express his stronger-than-ever devotion. Awed, Xiao Xingchen speaks all his regrets and apologies in return, and they hold onto each other's hands, treasuring being back together, promising each other there will be no more regrets between them. Xue Yang watches, bitterly jealous, but then Xiao Xingchen comes over to thank him for the priceless gift, one small step toward mending their hurt, too. The three keep traveling to a small town at a crossroads, visiting a little market and discussing where to go next. To avoid heading into Yunmeng, where demonic cultivators and their creations would be brutally destroyed, they choose to turn north-west to Kuizhou. Much to Xue Yang's dismay.

 

15. Three Cobblers Make A Genius

Arriving in Kuizhou, Xue Yang is extremely tense, and finally lashes out, slapping aside a street child trying to beg money from him. The daoshi are furious, and he just laughs at them, telling them at least he's teaching lessons of survival – people handing out money just means stupid beggar children may approach the wrong kind of person next time and get hurt. They retire to a tea house to talk it through, and Xiao Xingchen expresses his frustration at not being able to really do something to make the world a better place after all. More distraught than he likes to admit by Xiao Xingchen's dejection, Xue Yang finally reluctantly mentions that he has a very powerful friend who would probably love to help the legendary two daoshi start a project to help the needy. They start writing letters to Jin Guangyao, to propose a grand plan just in time for the big Cultivation Conference. Giddy with joy at this new dream, that he gets to share with both the other two, Xiao Xingchen gets them pastries. Triggered by his childhood trauma, Xue Yang rages at him and storms off, and it's only then that Xiao Xingchen recalls that Xue Yang grew up in Kuizhou, and that it's where the greatest hurt of his life took place.

 

16. Dreamers

That evening, after Xiao Xingchen has apologized to Xue Yang, he and Song Lan kiss for the first time. The next morning they send off their letters by courier boat down the river and visit a dock market to get silver thread for Song Lan's speech talisman. Xue Yang haggles viciously and threatens the vendor, and once he also threatens a passerby who bumps into Xiao Xingchen, Song Lan snaps and tells him if he can't control his violent temper, they'll tie him up again. Xiao Xingchen tries to calm them down, and finally soothes Xue Yang by holding his hand and telling a story as they pass the northern gate, on the street where Xue Yang was so badly hurt by Chang Ci'an all those years ago.

 

17. The Living Dead

Xue Yang helps sew the speech talisman into place in Song Lan's cheek. They meet three young cultivators who are on a Night Hunt for fierce corpses, and offer their help. Leaving Xiao Xingchen behind, since the trauma of killing people he was told were undead might make him hesitate in the heat of battle, Song Lan and Xue Yang join the youngsters in fighting a village full of fierce corpses. Realizing they have been raised from their graves, Xue Yang figures out the boys were behind it, to make themselves seem more heroic. Song Lan sternly tells them off, and he and Xue Yang return to Xiao Xingchen.

 

18. Men And Monsters

Having finished resting after the Night Hunt, the trio resumes their journey. Caught by a rainstorm, they seek shelter in a small cave and all of them fall asleep. Losing control of his resentment in his sleep, Song Lan wakes up in a blind rage and attacks Xue Yang. Xiao Xingchen finally manages to calm him down, feeding Xue Yang a vitality pill to help him recover, deeply flustered as Xue Yang kisses his fingers. Later Song Lan reluctantly asks Xue Yang for help to control his resentment. Xue Yang mocks him and says that without the nails in his head, there's not a lot he can do to help control anything about Song Lan these days. Xiao Xingchen finds himself helplessly longing for the touch of both his traveling companions.

 

19. We All Drown Together

Fighting off a massive catfish demon in a river, Xue Yang and Song Lan are swept away by the flash flood caused by its death throes. Struggling briefly with himself, Song Lan saves Xue Yang from drowning, though he could easily have turned a blind eye. Xiao Xingchen joins them in the water, determined that whatever fate they may share, they will share together. They finally manage to climb the steep cliff wall and escape the torrents, and spend the evening around a warm fire, telling stories – including the infamous tale of the one time Song Lan accidentally defeated a shapeshifter frog demon by sitting on it.

 

20. Etched In Bones And Heart

There is a marked difference in how Xue Yang acts around Song Lan after he saved his life, and he comradely offers to look into ways of helping him control his inner resentment. Reaching a small town, he picks up various charms to modify into a talisman to help Song Lan take better control of his energies. Xiao Xingchen buys Xue Yang candy as thanks for helping him in the river, and overcome Xue Yang kisses him, which makes Song Lan furious and Xiao Xingchen deeply flustered. After a short argument, cut short by a talisman salesman trying to sell them Yiling Laozu portraits, they gingerly agree to go get dinner together, and the evening is spent testing the effects – often quite unpleasant – the various charms have on Song Lan.

 

21. Closest And Most Like-Minded

After fighting monsters, the trio are approached by a group of daoshi whose temple is in charge of the area, welcomed to enjoy their hospitality as thanks for defeating the monsters. In the temple Song Lan is introduced to Tian Hao, a former guest disciple of Baixue temple that he hasn't seen since childhood, finally getting a chance to talk about his grief and loss with someone who understands. Xue Yang finds an unexpected (tor)mentor in the abbot of the temple, who offers to teach him a spell to help him work more efficiently without one of his hands provided that he passes the man's whimsical tests.

 

22. And On The Mountain Was A Temple

Xiao Xingchen, meanwhile, is forced to contemplate the future, and the seeming impossibility of it containing both his treasured companions. While looking for Xue Yang, he comes across the mischievous old abbot, and is offered some gentle words of guidance – any point on the map can be the beginning of a new path, if you want it to be. Tian Hao guesses at Song Lan's undead condition, but promises that his secret is safe. They promise to keep in touch through writing from now on. Xue Yang passes the old daoshi's tests and is granted the spell he wanted. He uses it to make Xiao Xingchen apple bunnies as they say good night, and finally retires to bed to find that Xiao Xingchen has left candy on his pillow for the first time since his death.

 

23. A Lingering Death

Xue Yang proudly presents a prayer bead necklace that will help Song Lan use his resentment the same way he used to cultivate spiritual energy, giving him far greater control of it. They reach Yueyang and find a place to spend the night, as well as have dinner. While they eat they overhear the gossip around another table, of the grisly death of Chang Ping, supposedly murdered by Xiao Xingchen. Horrified and furious Xiao Xingchen confronts Xue Yang about it, and makes him tell him everything he's held back. Disgusted and utterly heartbroken by what he's told, Xiao Xingchen finally leaves.

 

24. A Source Of Bitterness And Grief

Song Lan leaves Xue Yang tied up in their room to hurry to track down Xiao Xingchen, worried that he may hurt himself in his distraught state. Xue Yang has a severe panic attack, brought on by memories of Xiao Xingchen's death. Song Lan finally finds Xiao Xingchen and helps him cleanse Shuanghua after learning what horrors it's been used for. He asks Xiao Xingchen if he'll be able to keep journeying with Xue Yang. As they return to their room, Xiao Xingchen coldly tells Xue Yang they will remain together until they reach Jinlintai, where he expects Xue Yang to deliver on his promise and introduce them to the Chief Cultivator – and then they will never meet again.

 

25. Come Without A Shadow

Xue Yang attempts to talk things out with Xiao Xingchen, who furiously refuses to speak with him, deeply betrayed and disappointed to have learned that Xue Yang went right back to his evil ways after his own death. Leaving Yueyang, they realize that people have overheard their argument enough to learn that the murderer who slaughtered the Yueyang Chang is not only alive, but has returned to the area. Song Lan and Xue Yang get cornered by a group of local cultivators at a market, but thinking quickly Song Lan lends Xue Yang his horsetail whisk to hide his signature four-fingered hand, and they manage to trick the cultivators into letting them go.

 

26. Putting Out Fires With Wood

Xue Yang attempts, with increasing desperation, to get back into Xiao Xingchen's good graces, but the more forcefully he pushes, the harder Xiao Xingchen recoils and tells him to give him space. Finally Song Lan gets tired of the constant fighting and drags Xue Yang aside to tell him to leave Xiao Xingchen alone – he's only making things worse like this. Xue Yang takes his explanation as proof that Xiao Xingchen is just testing his loyalty, and makes up his mind to try to get things ”right” from now on. That evening, half-delirious from lack of sleep, Xue Yang tells Song Lan of the fate of the Yiling Xue, who were all killed after Xue Chonghai first began experimenting with demonic cultivation, giving him a glimpse of his own childhood, alone on the streets. Song Lan finds himself deeply torn between old familiar hate and unwanted pity.

 

27. A Firefly Glow In The Dark

They reach the city Tongguan, and leaving Xue Yang outside to avoid him getting recognized, Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan go to visit the market before continuing their journey. They get new teacups – both for themselves and Xue Yang. At a moment's whim, they rent a roon to spend a few hours alone, experimenting with just how much touch Song Lan can bring himself to endure, finally having Xiao Xingchen bringing himself to climax in his arms. When they return to where they left Xue Yang, he's just about to be recognized by two cultivators, but Xiao Xingchen manages to send them on a wild goose chase by stating with absolute honesty that he knows for a fact that the notorious criminal Xue Yang was further west just a few days ago. Song Lan gives Xue Yang his teacup, surprised by the near wonder in his eyes as he accepts the gift. A glowing Jin butterfly finally brings the long-awaited message - they're welcome to meet with Jin Guangyao in Jinlintai.

 

28. Ascending On White Wings

Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan kiss in front of Xue Yang, and overcome with mad jealousy, he plans to poison all three of them to death. Halfway through his plan, however, he stumbles upon the corpses of the two cultivators they just met, having died unnatural deaths. They learn that they were killed by a dangerous monster, a massive eight-winged bat king. Using a demonic cultivation lure circle, they draw the bat and its flock of minions in to fight it. Going off alone, Xiao Xingchen uses Shuanghua to fly up high enough to impale the bat king from above, but is thrown off, falling to his death. Xue Yang catches him just in time, holding him hard as they finally roll onto the ground unharmed, Song Lan finishing the demon. Bitterly disappointed in himself for yearning to stay in Xue Yang's arms, Xiao Xingchen wishes he could forget how much he still loves him, and how much it hurts to do so.

 

29. Floating Clouds, Morning Dew

Reaching the misty mountains of Muaishan, they decide to take the less well traveled path through the mountains instead of staying in the main pass and risking being recognized by those hunting Xue Yang. In the mountains, they encounter mist demons, attacking them in the fog, and finally spiriting Xiao Xingchen away.

 

30. Searching In The Dark Of Night

Song Lan and Xue Yang have to work together to find Xiao Xingchen again before it's too late. They ask around in the small village Aijian if anyone knows where the mist spirits dwell, and are pointed to the high northern peaks. Journeying together, they finally share Song Lan's demonic energy to help give Xue Yang the strength to keep up the pace. They finally find a small pool in a hidden valley, and realizing it's something similar to Jin Guangyao's bronze mirror, Xue Yang lets himself fall into it, into the spirit realm beyond.

 

31. Lifting The Moon From The Water

The spirit realm is full of swirling mists, and inside Song Lan and Xue Yang find vast mounds of bones from endless years of the mist spirits feasting on the souls of the ones they've taken. Among the dried-out husks of their former victims, they find Xiao Xingchen, seemingly comatose, and grab him to make their escape. Fighting the mist spirits, they make it out into the real world, but the spirits pursue them and finally possess Song Lan to attack Xue Yang. Taking back control of his fierce corpse, Xue Yang forces the spirits out, and very awkwardly manages to haul and carry both the other two down the mountain to the village.

 

32. Still Breeze And Quiet Waves

Song Lan awakes in a comfortable bed, finding Xue Yang humming quiet lullabies to the still comatose Xiao Xingchen resting in his lap on the other bed. As soon as he realizes he's awake, Xue Yang leaves him to watch Xiao Xingchen and falls asleep. The innkeeper confirms what Xue Yang has told Song Lan – Xue Yang brought both daoshi with him back to the village, and gave the villagers powerful talismans to keep the mist spirits at bay from now on, making him the local hero. Bored and restless Xue Yang visits the local market, and decides to get a songbird to sing for his sleeping Daozhang and hopefully help him wake up. As Xiao Xingchen sleeps for endless days, Xue Yang and Song Lan warily start talking, finding a strange, unwanted comfort in the other's company as they wait for Xiao Xingchen to wake up.

 

33. Love The House And Its Crow

To prevent other malicious entities possessing Song Lan in the future, Xue Yang adjusts his ten pieces of soul, giving him back yet more full control of himself. Song Lan spends some of the monotonous days catching up on his letter-writing, overcome by enough guilt to write Tian Hao to tell him the truth of his traveling companion's identity. Using a highly unorthodox way of circulating their energies together, Xue Yang and Song Lan purify their energies enough to infuse it into their sleeping companion and help hurry Xiao Xingchen's recovery. Testy after his exertion, Xue Yang starts an argument, and they bitterly air their grievances about what they have both cost the other. The moment Xiao Xingchen finally wakes, he reacts in panic and attempts to stab Xue Yang.

 

34. Don't Forget Me

As the mist spirits attempted to consume Xiao Xingchen's soul, he lost all memories of his life with Xue Yang in Yi City, only remembering him as a bitter enemy. Hearing about this, Xue Yang storms out in furious hurt, only to be attacked by one of the cultivators who have hunted him since Yueyang. Song Lan intervenes and lays claim to his life, and the other cultivator reluctantly leaves. Expecting Song Lan to kill him now that Xiao Xingchen no longer wants him around, Xue Yang is shocked to be marched back to the inn and having his severe shoulder-wound treated, if not with kindness then at least without hesitation. Once Xue Yang has been drugged into healing sleep, Song Lan returns to Xiao Xingchen, who is first relieved to hear that Xue Yang was attacked, then deeply bewildered when told that Song Lan saved his life. Without his memories, nothing makes sense anymore.

 

35. Bound By The Past

Xue Yang is heartbroken to have been forgotten, knowing that now he is the only one remembering those distant happy days of their life in Yi City. Song Lan stubbornly keeps treating his wound, washing him clean, feeding him and telling him to circulate his energies to recover. With Xue Yang's own robes ripped and bloodied beyond salvation, Song Lan gives him his own overcoat to wear.

 

36. To Thread A Needle

Spending his days trying to dodge Xiao Xingchen's questions about his memories out of fear of damaging his recently ripped-apart-again soul, and treating Xue Yang, Song Lan's life becomes something vaguely surreal. Xiao Xingchen shyly tells him of his sensual dreams, assuming the lover in them must be Song Lan, confirming Song Lan's suspicions that Xiao Xingchen and Xue Yang were once lovers. The intimacy of treating Xue Yang, undressing him and washing him clean finally sends him over the edge of his very unwanted desire, and they have very clumsy and quite uncomfortable sex. Realizing it was Song Lan's first time with a man, Xue Yang laughs for the first time in days and offers to teach him to do it right.

 

37. Chasing Memories Without Direction

Song Lan is horrified and ashamed at what happened with Xue Yang, none of which is made easier by the way Xue Yang has apparently decided that they are close now, treating him with eerie sweetness. Xiao Xingchen gets more insistent Song Lan tell him about the memories he's lacking. Finally, worried that not knowing may end up hurting him as much as finding out the truth, Song Lan tells him enough to learn that he and Xue Yang were once close, not only friends, but lovers. Desperate to console him, Song Lan promises that he will do better from now on, and try to give Xiao Xingchen the intimacy he deserves.

 

38. One Can Be My Teacher

Song Lan reluctantly takes Xue Yang up on his offer to learn how to sleep with another man without causing any unwanted harm. Xue Yang finds Song Lan's comparative innocence vastly amusing, but keeps his promise and happily instructs him on what lubes can be used, and how to use fingers to prepare a partner. It's a very hands-on demonstration all around, though Xue Yang is a bit blindsided by Song Lan's fierce corpse stamina. A surprisingly good time is had by them both.

 

39. Faded Ink Lasts Longer Than Memories

Xue Yang is promised a nice bath and dinner downstairs as long as he stays on his best behaviour. But the plans get derailed when a girl whose father was taken by the mist spirits too comes by the inn, and the daoshi decide to talk to her to see if she knows something that may help Xiao Xingchen. Xue Yang manages to bargain for his dinner downstairs, but as he catches a glimpse of Xiao Xingchen, knowing he'll never want him again, opts to get roaring drunk instead. Song Lan later finds himself having to help a very drunk and pathetically crying Xue Yang back to his bed, feeling the first stirrings of deeply unwanted compassion for his grief and utter loneliness.

 

40. The Rising Star Of Dawn

Xiao Xingchen falls into a half-slumber, and meets Baoshan Sanren in a vivid dream or vision. She helps reassure him that he will always remain himself, with or without his memories, but that running away from the things that hurt you won't let the wounds heal either. When confessing his tumultuous feelings, she tells him that while actions are a choice, love itself just is. Xiao Xingchen comes around to Song Lan frantic with worry at the bloodied tears on his cheeks, but tells him that his dream was a happy one and that he has finally found peace with himself. They make love for the first time. After, Xiao Xingchen says with utter certainty that he wants to learn everything about the life he's forgotten, and Song Lan trusts him enough to tell him all he knows.

 

41. We're Bound To Meet Again

Xiao Xingchen and Xue Yang are both tense as they meet again for the first time since Xiao Xingchen's awakening, and they don't even make it halfway through a stiffly polite dinner before an argument breaks out. Xue Yang accuses Xiao Xingchen of forgetting him on purpose and rises to storm off, and Xiao Xingchen reacts on instinct, almost drawing Shuanghua. In the following argument, Xue Yang ends up smashing his treasured teacup in his rage. Stuck in a position between them that he never asked for, Song Lan has finally had enough, and quietly excuses himself and leaves. Shocked, the other two very awkwardly close ranks to find him and preventing him from outright leaving. As they all meet up again, the absurdity of it all catches up, and with brittle amusement, they warily agree to share one guestroom again, like before.

 

42. Starting All Over Again

The three finally get ready to leave Muaishan and continue the journey to Jinlintai. Xiao Xingchen is curious to speak more to Xue Yang, to be able to fill more of the blanks in his lost memories, and it really feels like meeting an old friend again, not getting to know a stranger. It's surprisingly easy for Xue Yang to make him laugh. They stay at a wellspring for the evening, taking a cold bath after the long day of walking, and much to Xiao Xingchen's surprise Xue Yang asks Song Lan to help comb and tie up his hair. To his even greater surprise, Song Lan agrees. Xue Yang casually offers to help tweak Song Lan's speech talisman to restore his sense of taste.

 

43. Descending Into The World

As they walk, they keep talking, digging deeper into murkier emotional waters. Finally Xiao Xingchen confronts Xue Yang about killing a-Qing, making him deeply upset, which upsets the daoshi in turn. Xue Yang tells his version of events, and while Xiao Xingchen will not ever forgive him, he can understand a bit better the betrayal Xue Yang felt when she took a stranger's side over his. Xiao Xingchen finds sorrowful comfort in the great dream, his vow to try to make the world better, though Xue Yang warns him that once they get to Jinlintai, there will be no going back. As they reach the town Yingchuan, Xue Yang lets slip to Song Lan that he expects them to bring him to Jinlintai to die, a scapegoat for the Chief Cultivator in exchange for their dream. Before the shocked speechless Song Lan can respond, they meet the young Wang Haifeng (from chapter 17) again, and are told about Jin Guangyao's death.

 

44. A Bridge Of Magpies

Shocked to the core, all their plans crashing down at once, the three are left stunned and floundering. Wang Haifeng apologizes for delivering bad news and invites them home to the nearby estates. They're told the tragic tale of the Yingchuan Wang, once a prominent clan under the Wen, who were obliterated in the Sunshot war, save for the boy's married-in mother and him in her womb. Song Lan confronts Xue Yang about his belief that he's being hauled off to die the moment they're alone, to Xiao Xingchen's further shock. Furious and unable to believe they weren't going to let him die after all, Xue Yang storms off in a rage, tempted to cause another massacre in his turmoil. Instead, he ends up using demonic cultivation together with the mute Wang widow to confirm that her dead husband's soul has truly passed on, liberating the haunting ghosts of the estates in the process. On the way back, he lights incense for the one friend he ever had. To his surprise, the daoshi are relieved to see him again, and serve a wonderful supper of tea and sweets.

 

45. Clouds And Rain

Song Lan is horrified to realize that faced with the prospect of losing Xue Yang forever, the way they would have if they had only reached Jinlintai sooner – he can't stand it. He's forced to to admit to himself that his grudging compassion has given way to a complicated tangle of deeper feelings. Unable to sleep, he heads outside into their private garden for fresh air to clear his mind, only to have Xue Yang join him, equally unable to sleep. They end up having surprisingly tender sex up against the wall as dawn breaks around them.

 

46. In The Shade Of Willow Trees

The daoshi have a quiet talk in the morning, where Song Lan confesses he's grown fond of Xue Yang, and how much it hurts. Later, they're all invited to dinner with their hosts, asked what they will do now that their original plans have all fallen apart. After a brief discussion about the current political landscape, they decide to try their luck approaching Lan Xichen and ask for his support in realizing a humbler and more realistic version of the their dream. The three retire to their room to write a letter to the Lan clan leader, then spend the evening reading thank-you letters the people of Muaishan sent along to lift Xiao Xingchen's mood.

 

47. Goose Feathers

Before leaving Yingchuan, Song Lan guides the three to a potter's shop to collect a finished commission – Xue Yang's broken teacup, repaired. Xue Yang is stunned at the gesture, even as Song Lan lectures him to keep his temper in check in the future and not to break it again. Later, fetching wood and water in the forest, Xue Yang reciprocates the kind gesture by giving Song Lan his first-ever blowjob. Later that night, going through their pile of letters from Muaishan again, Song Lan realizes that among them is a response from Tian Hao, the former Baixue disciple he met in the temple. Rather than condemning him for traveling with Xue Yang, Tian Hao expresses wonder at Song Lan's fortitude and compassion, an absolution Song Lan himself had never dared hope for.

 

48. As The Waters Flow

The three come upon a band of travelers who have been attacked and badly injured by bandits. They're told the bandits stole a dangerous artifact, a cursed box which caused the death of half the travelers' village. Song Lan offers to stay and help balance the injured people's corrupted qi, as Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen set out together to capture the bandits and retrieve the box. But when they come upon the bandits, they've been killed by the curse and turned into fierce corpses, severely triggering Xiao Xingchen's trauma, leaving Xue Yang to take on most of the fight himself – until he's nearly killed, and Xiao Xingchen immediately kills the last fierce corpse to save him. Worried, Xue Yang rips his robes open to check on the spellwork, and even after defeating the evil entity and retrieving the now-sealed box, Xiao Xingchen is left dazed with longing for a lover he doesn't even remember.

 

49. Great Heat

The three reach the town Hongqi, and visit a tailor to order new robes to replace the ones damaged from the long journey and many Night Hunts. When they order rooms at an inn for the night, Xue Yang is shocked and furious to be told the daoshi want to spend the night alone. Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan have tender sex, exploring more of what Song Lan's phobias will allow, while Xue Yang seethes alone in his own room and finally storms out into the night to cause hurt to alleviate his own. In the afterglow after making love, Xiao Xingchen thoughtfully tells Song Lan that he knows Song Lan and Xue Yang have been lovers behind his back, and asks for Song Lan's permission to extend his own love to Xue Yang, too. Mortified and ashamed, Song Lan reluctantly agrees.

 

50. Lotus Threads

In the morning, the daoshi are shocked and apprehensive to realize Xue Yang is missing. Splitting up to look for him, Song Lan finally picks up a trail and learns that Xue Yang attacked and maimed a rich young sleaze who was trying to abduct a young girl. Meanwhile, Xiao Xingchen comes across Xue Yang and asks him to come back to the inn with him. Alone, Xiao Xingchen professes his affection and embraces Xue Yang, who breaks down crying. Xiao Xingchen tells him that he spoke with Song Lan and learned of their affair, and has been given Song Lan's blessing to be with Xue Yang, too. They all have a very tense and awkward dinner, Song Lan barely able to restrain his roaring jealousy and fear of being abandoned as the other two plan to spend the night together.

 

51. A Wish To Stay Dreaming

Xiao Xingchen and Xue Yang have sex. It's a rather emotional affair, with Xue Yang attempting to take the lead but having a minor breakdown over finally, finally having his Daozhang back. Xiao Xingchen gently takes charge and makes sweet love to his traumatized once-enemy. The fears and tensions and old wounds finally alleviated for now, they end up laughing and talking about some of the sillier and more creative things they got up to in bed back in the Coffin House. Finally they fall asleep in each others' arms, held tight.

 

52. Courageous Acts Of Justice

Song Lan finds himself grappling with crippling jealousy, emotions so strong that none of his previous stoicism and self-control can quite quell them. As the three set out to leave town, they're stopped by a rich merchant and his private mercenaries, Xue Yang accused of hurting and crippling his son. Expecting this to be the end of Xiao Xingchen's newly restored companionship, Xue Yang just laughs, confesses and proceeds to taunt the man, who furiously orders his men to take Xue Yang away. But before Song Lan can speak up about what he heard really happened, the townsfolk from the poor backstreets - where the sleazy rich boy found his victims - step up to take Xue Yang's side, threatening to testify on his behalf to condemn the merchant's son with an account of the all his horrible deeds. Fuming, the merchant lets them leave. Back on the road, Xiao Xingchen expresses his disappointment, and wearily asks Xue Yang to repeat his promise never to hurt anyone again. Relieved at the lack of utter condemnation, Xue Yang agrees, swearing to himself to try harder to make this new state of affairs work out.

 

RUNAN

 

 

54. Banish These Inner Demons

The trio help banish a malicious spirit from a roadside shrine, and are offered rooms in the nearby village as thanks. Hoping that him taking a step back will allow the other two some space to talk through their issues, Xiao Xingchen decides to take his own room for the night. Song Lan and Xue Yang are less than thrilled to be left sharing a room alone at first, sniping and arguing. When Xue Yang spots Song Lan combing out his fuchen after the earlier fight, however, he gets thoroughly distracted, and suggests Song Lan give him a spiritual cleansing with it. Song Lan understandably thinks this is a very bad idea, but lets himself get talked into it. The cleansing ritual is equal parts spiritual catharsis and physical exertion, and they end up having intense sex. After, Xue Yang laughs and tells Song Lan there are some things you just have to fight out - or fuck out. As Xue Yang drifts off to sleep, Song Lan sits at the edge of his bed, and quietly confesses he would like for Xue Yang to look into the improvements he's offered to develop for Song Lan's dead body, any means of making him seem more alive. In his half-sleep, Xue Yang promises that he'll try.

 

DUSHOU

 

55. Swords Raised At A Hundred Ghosts

In the borderlands of Runan and Moling, the trio reach the haunted ghost town of Dushou, massacred and razed to the ground when the Wen army marched on Cloud Recesses before the Sunshot war. The furious ghosts of the slain have possessed two guardian god statues, using them to wreak vengeance on any living being that comes near. While fighting the guardians, Xiao Xingchen manages to defeat one, but Song Lan is cut badly apart, and only Xue Yang picking up Fuxue - despite the sword lashing out at him with horrifying frostbite - saves him from being utterly destroyed. Panicked with worry, Xiao Xingchen and Xue Yang spend the whole night putting Song Lan's damaged body back together and coaxing his soul back inside.

 

56. A Guardian Reawakened

Song Lan wakes up to find his head resting on Xiao Xingchen's lap, and Xue Yang sleeping half on top of him to press healing talismans against his wound. Knowing how close he came to losing it all, he finally accepts the truth of his feelings, including his love for Xue Yang. Once both he and Xue Yang wake up the next day, Song Lan gives Xue Yang a very first kiss, which quickly turns into several more, much to Xiao Xingchen's radiant delight. Once they've all cleaned up and had breakfast, Song Lan makes a momentous decision - to give Xue Yang back his sword, to make sure he won't be left without a weapon again as they keep fighting side by side. Changing the pronunciation of the characters making up its name, Jiangzai becomes Xiangzai - a guardian against disaster. While Xue Yang is quite furious that Song Lan has been carrying the sword all along without telling him, he's still quite pleased to have it back. Song Lan may just get another few kisses for that...

 

QUNYING

 

57. Life, Death And A Bottle Of Wine

After leaving Dushou, the three reach the river town Qunying where they unexpectedly run into Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji again. To their shock, they learn that Lan Wangji is the new Chief Cultivator, and as they all sit down to share a meal together, the daoshi have to present their great dream with far less preparation than anticipated.
Lan Wangji agrees it is a noble endeavour, but has to gently turn them down – new on his post, with a cultivation world in turmoil, there are simply no resources for a project like theirs. Instead they’re offered to found their dreamed-of sect by taking on the orphaned children of the obliterated Moling Su clan with his full support.
All further discussion is derailed when he also makes it clear that as Chief Cultivator, he intends to finally see Xue Yang’s executed for all his heinous crimes, however. No matter how the daoshi argue on his behalf, the only concession they’re offered is for Xue Yang to come to Gusu in a month’s time to give a full account of his actions, so that he may be judged fairly before a sentence is carried out.

 

58. We'll Walk The Road To Heaven

Faced with the threat of Xue Yang's execution looming on the horizon, the three talk through what to do next. The daoshi are willing to leave the jianghu behind and run to keep Xue Yang safe, but he declares he's spent a lot of his life on the run and is sick of it. Better a quick end, if that's what lies in store! They decide to spend the remaining month together continuing their journey rather just than sitting still in one place and waiting - first visiting Moling, and then going by boat down the river to get to see the ocean. In Moling, they sit down together and start making more solid plans for the upcoming hearing - reaching out to all the people they've met on their journey to ask for their testimonies of Xue Yang's good deeds, and beginning to make plans for a new sect so impressive it may tempt the Chief Cultivator into sparing Xue Yang to win them over as future allies.

 

MOLING

 

59. This City Dappled With Colour

Xiao Xingchen and Xue Yang have hot sex with just a tinge of desperation, and once Xiao Xingchen has fallen asleep Xue Yang quietly berates "him" for letting his guard down and thinking good times can ever last. In the morning, Xue Yang tells Song Lan that both he and Xiao Xingchen would like for Song Lan to join them in bed next time. Somewhat shocked and mortified, Song Lan says he'll think about it. The three send out the letters asking for witness statements and head out to spend the day walking around Moling to learn more about the city that may one day become theirs to protect.

 

60. Leaving Moling In The Morning

As they set sail down the river, the daoshi insist they all start working on their testimonies for the upcoming hearing. Xue Yang's already tense mood explodes when he learns that not only does Xiao Xingchen remember the story of the boy and the cart albeit having forgotten it was about Xue Yang, but that he's told Song Lan about it, too. Hurtful words are exchanged all around. Later that evening, Xiao Xingchen and Xue Yang have a talk about what happened on their last day in Yi City, the mutual hurt, allowing it to start healing. The next day is one of fragile peace, and when they reach Guangling, they decide to share a single room, with song Lan watching as Xiao Xingchen and Xue Yang have sex and finally let them finish him with their mouths. They all fall asleep together, holding each other tight.

 

YINGZHOU ISLAND

 

61. A Grand And Breathtaking Sight

The trio finally reach the ocean shores, and it's somehow underwhelming and breathtaking at once. Xiao Xingchen marvels at the sea and its wonders. Song Lan and Xue Yang have a serious talk where Xue Yang asks Song Lan be the one to deal the killing blow if he's actually sentenced to death. Heartbroken, Song Lan agrees, saying it would be an act of mercy - and love. Xue Yang can't handle that emotional honesty and lashes out. Song Lan later tells Xiao Xingchen, who sadly confesses that he doesn't think Xue Yang believes him when he tells him he loves him either, and asks him to give it time. They decide that if Xue Yang is truly sentenced to death, they will fight to protect him, even if it means them dying too.
Reuniting at nightfall, they all have sex together. The last morning, Xue Yang finally gives Xiao Xingchen a talisman he's been working on, that lets him see the light and colours of the sunrise.

 

CAIYI

 

62. Give A Peach For A Plum

Reaching Caiyi, nerves are tense as the three start collecting letters with testimonies for their case. They run into Wen Ning and Lan Sizhui, who are very surprised to see Xue Yang traveling with the daoshi. They part ways on a somewhat awkward truce with Xue Yang promising he'll help improve Wen Ning's undead state to match what he's done for Song Lan, provided Wen Ning doesn't raise his own charges against him at the trial. Xue Yang spends his last money getting the daoshi fancy clothes befitting sect leaders, as well as hair ornaments, which leads to a bitter argument as Song Lan refuses to accept his ornament, pointing out the last one he owned was a gift from his murdered shifu. Xue Yang and Song Lan make up later that night and have sex, with Xue Yang offering to "examine" if Song Lan's body would be in a good state to be penetrated, should he wish to try bottoming for Xiao Xingchen. A tingling charm bracelet is used to great effect! The following morning, Xiao Xingchen sweetly says he's happy they made up, but breakfast is interrupted by the arrival of a talisman letter from Wei Wuxian asking Xiao Xingchen if he'd like to met up and celebrate Mid-Autumn festival as a family.