Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

🎮

As much as Yunho teases San for being in a full-time bisexual crisis, he doesn’t think that he’s much better off. He doesn’t know what he identifies as, nor does he feel like putting a label on himself. Yunho understands it as he likes who he likes, and it doesn’t matter to him what they want to identify as. He does, however, admit that he has a preference mostly because he does enjoy receiving just as much as he likes giving – but in the end, love is love. He’ll treat them as a human and he’ll treat them just like anyone else that he would like.

Yunho isn’t unfamiliar with the idea of finding people attractive. It’s a passing thought that runs through his brain about once a day for the past several years whenever he goes out on his daily evening jog (he hates running in the mornings, and he has no idea why or how San subjects himself to that). Oh, they’re attractive, is what he thinks in passing. 

It doesn’t necessarily mean he finds them sexually attractive or appealing. That takes a bit more time for him to get used to.

Oh, he’s fucking gorgeous, is what he thinks when San’s third and final roommate – the only one Yunho has not met, mind you – happens to walk into the common room of the apartment to find him and San locked in an almost incriminating position, not to mention, right after San had fucking licked him. That, and he’s almost appalled at how easily his brain conjures up multiple different thoughts, ones that he immediately feels guilty about seconds after, because what the fuck he barely knows who this person is.

That was certainly one way to make a first impression, Yunho bemoans as he lets San shove him to the ground, his coupon clutched victoriously in the younger man’s fist. He really hopes that Jisung doesn’t think he’s a fucking weirdo.

🎧

To be honest, Jisung isn’t prepared at all. He knows that Yunho is going to be at the apartment by the time that he got back with Yeosang after their convenience store run, but he was admittedly jittery. He attributed most of it to his own anxiety and meeting someone he didn’t know who was obviously very important to one of his friends. That, and he still wasn’t over his initial shock to discover that San’s best friend was very handsome, attractive and bright, even if Jisung had first met him in… a strange position, to say the least.

Sure, he’d seen Yunho and San walk into the apartment a handful of hours later, but the former seemed very deadset on going to go collapse in San’s bed to take a nap, trudging through the apartment. But Yunho hadn’t noticed Jisung standing there – he doesn’t really blame the taller man, when he’s tired, he has his mind set on one thing and one thing only. So Jisung’s pretty sure that Yunho has no idea that they’ve already sort of met twice by now.

Yeosang is walking ahead of Jisung by a couple of steps and the older man glances over his shoulder as Jisung starts lagging behind the closer they get to their apartment. He looks confused at first, but then the older man’s eyes soften as he registers Jisung’s anxious tics.

“Yunho’s a really sweet guy.” Yeosang tells him quietly, waiting a few paces to bump their shoulders together. “He’s super friendly and considerate, and I’m sure that you guys will get along.”

The last time I tried to get along with someone I found physically attractive, it didn’t end well.

It’s too late to really say anything now, because Yeosang is putting his student ID up to the card reader at their door and it unlocks with a click and Yeosang’s asking, “where’s Yunho?”

“Here.” Jisung can barely hear the response, startled at the mellow timber of Yunho’s voice.Then again, he hadn’t really heard Yunho’s voice the first time they’d met. San was the only one who had spoken whereas Yunho had gone dead silent. He has an attractive voice, Jisung notes. It sounds muffled, and Jisung guesses that Yunho’s probably laying atop of San. His guess is confirmed a moment later. “San’s comfortable to lay on.”

“He’s suffocating me.” San says flatly despite the fond smile on his face. “Welcome back, guys. What did you both get?”

Jisung jumps, just a little bit, when he hears a loud thud and a yelp. When he looks over at San worriedly, the older man waves him off with a shrug and sits up, and Jisung guesses that the noise came from Yunho. Needing to do something with his hands, Jisung tells San about the group chat, holding up his phone before he takes the bags from Yeosang and heads over to the fridge, just placing the last few things in when San calls him over with a soft voice.

When Jisung looks over his shoulder, he spots Yunho sitting on the ground, clad in a big hoodie, hair frizzy and sticking up in all different directions with a sleepy expression on his face, and his heart thrums in his throat. He had found Yunho heart-stoppingly attractive the first time he’d seen him, and now he thinks he’s stopped breathing.

He forces himself to walk over even though his nerves are alight and he can feel his pulse in his fingertips, but he manages to offer a small smile to Yunho as he greets him. He almost feels his heart stop in his throat when Yunho’s eyes flick down to his hands, afraid that he’s going to comment on them, but he doesn’t.

 Yunho is sweet. He’s sweet and adorable and awkward but genuine, and Jisung’s heart hasn’t stopped hammering against his ribs, swelling like a helium balloon until he feels the string slip from his fingers.

Yunho’s hot.

Maybe it was a bad idea to tag along with San and Yunho on their morning run and workout, even though he’s pretty sure Yunho was the one who dragged himself up to come along with San. He knows that although San and Yunho share a rather intimate history with each other to figure out who they were themselves, San has reiterated several times that he sees Yunho as his best friend and that they didn’t (and would never) see each other in a romantic fashion. Jisung believes him, because San’s always been true to his word.

That, and he’s watched more of Yunho’s streams than he’d like to admit and Yunho’s always been firm in his beliefs, and doesn’t hesitate to ban or timeout people who disrespect him, San, his friends or toe the line of being inappropriate. So maybe Jisung is a fan of Yunho’s, but he’s kept quiet about it. But he doesn’t think that anything could’ve prepared him for this.

Yeah, he tagged along and he could tell that Yunho worked out just from his build beneath his hoodie and sweatpants, but seeing him in action has Jisung’s cheeks flushing, and at least he can blame it on his own exertion if Yunho points it out. He doubts that the older man will, though.

Soft grunts leave Yunho’s lips as he works on his bench presses with Jisung nearby to spot him. He’d added on two more plates for a total of seventy kilograms from Jisung’s reps, admitting that he’d only just gotten adjusted to sixty a couple of weeks ago and wanted to see if he could challenge himself. Yunho’s face is a little flushed as he finishes his last few, and Jisung reaches forward to help Yunho guide the bar back to its resting place.

“Damn.” Yunho says breathlessly, as he just lays there on the bench.

“You good?” Jisung asks, amused. A part of him is glad that they’re here, too. He’s not too anxious with all of the adrenaline rushing through his blood. The gym is pretty empty too, with only a couple of athletes scattered around with their AirPods in, and San’s over by the weights training in calisthenics. Jisung doesn’t think he’ll ever understand how so many of his friends are so… well, jacked.

Changbin is a gym rat and he’s proud of it, Yeosang and Jongho also both spend a lot of time at the gym, and he knows that if Yeonjun isn’t crying over his projects and exams, or isn’t over at Soobin’s or practicing dance, he’s in the gym. Mingi likes maintaining his physical health, so he tags along with Changbin more often than not, and Wooyoung goes when he has time with his massive projects with multiple deadlines every semester. San’s build is impressive, having seen several old photos of his roommate from a handful of years ago, and his progress in just a couple of years was enviable. Jisung likes to think that he personally has a nice body – he’s worked hard for it, after all. He’s trying very hard right now not to just ogle Yunho shamelessly.

“Did you want to go again?” Yunho asks, gesturing to the bar, raking a hand through his sweaty hair, biceps flexing beneath the long-sleeved shirt he’s wearing.

“Uh, sure.” Jisung blinks, trying his best to pull his brain out of the slippery slope down the roof and into the gutter.

“Did you want to keep the weight the same?” Yunho slides out from beneath the bar and stands up next to him. Jisung resists the urge to scrunch his nose at how much taller Yunho is than him. He already feels short next to Mingi, but Yunho just feels like he’s several heads taller even if he and Mingi are probably a couple centimeters apart in height. The top of his head just barely reaches Yunho’s chin.

“I can try.” Jisung says, tentatively laying down on the bench and wiping his sweaty hands off before he grips the bar. Yunho reaches out to help steady him, but when it’s clear that Jisung has the weight handled, he shifts back to let Jisung do his reps.

Eventually, San pads over to them with his hair matted to his forehead, letting them know that his phone alarm went off, so they all cool down and head out of the gym. Jisung’s a little surprised then, when they run into Changbin and Mingi on the way out. He’d texted the group chat that he was going out for a run and to the gym a couple hours ago before he’d left, but he didn’t really expect to see either of his friends this early, let alone Changbin and Mingi neither of which could function before twelve.

“Jisung-ah, did you sleep at all?” Changbin asks, tugging him aside with concern written all over his face. “I was reading through your messages, and the timestamps were…” Jisung grimaces. He’d been texting Changbin through the night as he worked, knowing that the older man turned his phone on silent when he slept for reasons like this, though he made sure that calls could still go through in case of an emergency.

“No, I haven’t.” He admits. “That’s why I’m down here, so I can stay awake.” Changbin rolls his eyes.

“If you end up dying because of sleep deprivation, how do we finish our album, huh?” Jisung huffs, folding his arms over his chest at Changbin’s dramatics. They chat for just a little bit longer before Jisung pulls away, knowing that San needs to get to class and he doesn’t want to keep them up.

“We should get going,” Jisung says, addressing Changbin and Mingi. “I’ll see you guys around.” 

He’s about to turn around and walk away when Mingi suddenly drags him into a one-armed hug and smacks a kiss to his temple. Immediately, Jisung flails, letting out a gagging noise and shoves Mingi away, staring up at him with wide eyes, wiping at the spot with his arm as his heart jackhammers in his chest as a flare of panic rushes through his veins. 

“What the fuck was that for?” Jisung demands. Mingi’s never been very physically affectionate – especially in public. Mingi shrugs. Jisung’s eyes flick over to San and Yunho, and he feels his heart drop at the confused and almost wounded look on Yunho’s face before it smooths over into something nearly impassive. He apologizes for Mingi’s weirdness, but while San replies to it, Yunho remains quiet. It leaves an almost unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Jisung isn’t awfully surprised when the group chat blows up with messages from Wooyoung about two hours later, all rants and complaints about a new guy who’s trying to, quote, steal his future boyfriend. Yeonjun just replies with all question marks and Changbin reacts with a laughing emoji. Mingi’s probably with Wooyoung, judging by the lack of response.

wooyo:
THERE’S THIS
GUY
WHOS TRYING TO STEAL MY FUTURE BOYFRIEND???
and why tf does he seem to be successful at this wtf this isn’t fair D:

junnie:
?????

binnie:
😂

wooyo:
GUYS :((( 

sungie:
is it by chance jeong yunho?

wooyo:
wtf how do u know

sungie:
well, yunho and san have been friends for years – over twenty years, if i remember correctly
and yunho’s here to visit san from busan
so he’s staying in our apartment for the next few days
he’s really nice, woo

wooyo:
ok well
i don’t see many best friends acting like they do
they literally look and act like a married couple
san even had to remind yunho that they were “in public”
like wtf does that mean

binnie:
that ur paranoid and hopelessly in love with someone lmao

wooyo:
and he just spent the entire class asleep on yunho’s shoulder??
stfu binnie go get laid

binnie:
bet 
i swore an oath of celibacy but i bet i’d have better luck than u LMAOOO

sungie:
binnie, please you’re not helping 😭

wooyo:
ANYWAYS???
this yunho guy was like… are you sure he’s super nice sungie
bc he just gave me super cryptic responses and was all mysterious and shit
and he would just pout and then san would just let him cuddle him in class
like sir this is public property what the fuck are you doing
he kissed san on the cheek too >:(
THAT SHOULD BE ME :( 

junnie:
well
woo
for one
have you actually made an effort to meet with san
like, outside of class?
talked to him?
texted him?
you have his number

wooyo:
he’s always too busy :(
says his schedule’s jam-packed
i don’t wanna disturb him
do u think that he just doesn’t like me?

sungie:
woo, i live with san and i can tell you that truthfully that san’s always working
like
to the point where him taking a break and going out with his friends (like the time we ran into each other on the street) calls for celebration
i don’t think i’ve ever seen san not stressed over his work
but woo, also consider this

wooyo:
okay :( 
consider what?

sungie:
i’m typing it out, be patient.

wooyo:
>:(((

sungie:
if mingi was as physically affectionate and willing to cuddle and cling to us like you do, then your friendship would look pretty similar to san and yunho’s.
it’s pretty obvious that they’re both physically affectionate people and they’re comfortable around each other since they’ve known each other for a while
and yeah, to an outsider they may look like they’re dating, but that’s not always the case and i’ve heard san tell us countless times that they’re not dating and would never consider it 😭
so i don’t think you have to worry about them dating??
and even so, if you want to date san then make a move, or at least show that you’re interested

binnie:
in case u didn’t know wooyoung
san’s actually very popular. 
i don’t think he knows it but he’s got a fan club and everything.

junnie:
soobin was thinking about joining the group lmao
i told him he should
idk if he actually did
lemme ask

binnie:
wait what the fuck

sungie:
WAIT SAN HAS A FAN CLUB???

mango:
from what wooyo told me it sounds like yunho’s just seeing who/what woo’s like when there are other people around
woo i think ur crush was showing
and also i think that woo was a 🤏rude to yunho too but that’s just my opinion

wooyo:
and rn ur opinion is invalid

mango:
🤷
can’t say i didn’t try

🎮

Yunho really has no idea what to do. It’s always been better with San there as a buffer to mitigate the awkwardness (and giddiness, but that’s not relevant right now) he feels around his childhood best friend’s friends, and now especially Jisung. Not to mention, he’s increasingly anxious around Jisung’s friends too. Well, less so around Wooyoung (although he guesses it’s because the blonde is San’s crush, and he has to make sure that Wooyoung is a good guy for his Sunny). 

But he’s a people person. He’s an extrovert. He’s been told that he radiates Golden Retriever puppy energy. So why the hell is this so hard ?

He was itching to explore the areas near campus, but because San was busy with studying for another quiz for his junior seminar class (Yunho had nearly cried when he saw the first page and he knows that stupid cute smirk was on San’s stupid cute face, ugh ), he didn’t really have anyone to go with. Or so he’d thought. Because right now, Jisung’s walking next to him, looking adorable and hot and attractive and painfully Yunho’s type (he doesn’t even really know what his type is, but now he does have one and it’s Han Jisung) all at once, just dressed in a pair of sweatpants, a zipped up tracksuit jacket and a baseball cap.

“Have you been to Seoul much?” Jisung asks, his nose tucked into the collar of his jacket, words slightly muffled over the hubbub of the streets. 

He sounds anxious, his voice trembling just a little bit, and Yunho runs through a quick mental checklist. He feels a little bad about dragging Jisung out (even though Jisung was the one who had volunteered himself) when they barely know each other and it’s pretty clear that Jisung gets antsy around strangers or people that he’s unfamiliar with. Yunho forgets to answer until Jisung looks up at him with those big fucking glittery doe eyes and Yunho almost swallows his tongue in his haste to try to reply.

“San and I met in Namhae and that’s where we grew up.” Yunho says, before he registers, that's not really what Jisung asked him. “Um.” He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. Jesus. How did he do this again?

How did he talk to people?

He made friends pretty easily – hell, his other streamer friends often commented how envious they were at how easily Yunho just drew people to him like a moth to flame. But he really doesn’t understand why he’s fumbling so badly.

“I’ve lived most of my life in Namhae and Busan.” Yunho explains. “San and I both moved to Busan together when we were in high school, but we didn’t live together. So I’ve been living in Busan alone in my studio apartment for the past several years.” Jisung blinks at him curiously. He tilts his head, and for a brief moment, Yunho is terrified that Jisung’s going to make one of those comments.

Even though Yunho can easily make friends, he’s discovered that he’s just as quick – maybe even quicker – to drop them when they become toxic or money-hungry. There are so many questions and comments that are directed towards Yunho, on his Discord server and on Twitter, that all involve money. Money and wealth. Something that Yunho admittedly has plenty of, but it’s not something that he likes broadcasting, nor that he likes bragging about. He makes a modest living compared to some other streamers out there.

In fact, Yunho often forgets that he has money until his paycheck comes. Then he puts it all into his savings and forgets it exists until the next paycheck. Rinse and repeat. He loves spoiling his family and friends, and he’s not entirely surprised that people try to worm their way into his good graces to try to get a few things from him. Sucks for them, because Yunho knows his worth. 

That, and because he’s seen what has happened with San, his sweet Sannie, who’s gotten fucked over too many times because of other greedy assholes, and enough was finally enough. He really hopes that Jisung’s not one of those people. San’s only had good things to say about him, too. But he shouldn’t think about that, because there was someone else who looked like they might fit next to Jisung’s side. It’s not like he can compete with someone who was already there.

“How do you fit all of your things in a studio apartment?” Is what Jisung asks instead. Yunho blinks, taken aback. It takes him several moments to process what exactly Jisung has just said.

“What do you mean?” He asks, confused.

“Uh,” Jisung flusters, hands making random movements in the air before him. “Aren’t like, gamer setups pretty big? As in, don’t they take up a lot of space?”

“I guess so.” Yunho tilts his head, trying to remember what his set up looks like back home.

“My older brother has a one bedroom apartment in Busan that I’ve visited a couple of times before.” Jisung says. “It’s like living in a shoebox. I could probably lay on the ground and my feet and head would touch either side of the apartment.” Yunho arches a brow, deliberately flicking his eyes from Jisung’s feet to the top of his head, then casually makes a motion to where Jisung’s head just barely reaches his bicep. Jisung scowls. “Not all of us were graced with height.” Yunho’s lips twitch up in a small smile.

“I guess not.” He agrees. Jisung smacks him, and Yunho bites back a grimace. Yikes. Jisung packs a punch. “I guess it’s sort of a two room apartment, now that I think about it?” Yunho tilts his head. “It’s definitely small. My bedroom is on a second level, but that’s only like… half of the apartment size, and my setup is beneath it, if that makes sense. The kitchen is on the other half of the first floor.” Yunho frowns, trying to figure out how to explain it. 

“I can… sort of see it.” Jisung scrunches his nose up. Cute.

“I’m not an artist like San is, but I can see if I can draw it out for you when we get back.” Yunho offers. Jisung lets out a soft laugh.

“No, you don’t have to do that hyung.” Jisung gives him a small heart-shaped smile, and Yunho’s heart flutters.

“Well, in any case, I think my apartment might be at least two Jisungs wide.” Yunho adds, with a casual shrug.

“Hey!”

The further that they get from the campus and the closer they get to the city, the more fidgety that Jisung gets. Yunho notices it almost immediately, feeling his brow furrow.

“You doing alright, Jisung-ah?” Yunho asks softly, nudging the shorter man gently.

Jisung’s head snaps up to meet Yunho’s gaze, eyes wide with surprise as if he hadn’t expected Yunho to notice. Jisung shoves his hands into his pockets and offers a wobbly smile. He shrugs in lieu of response, and Yunho ends up slowing his pace. Jisung’s brow furrows, and he reaches out, sleeves sliding over the tips of his trembling fingers, and tugs at the hem of Yunho’s hoodie, a wordless confirmation that he’s okay to keep going.

“Only if you’re certain.” Yunho tells him. He watches as Jisung chews on his lower lip. “You don’t like crowds.” Yunho observes. Jisung shakes his head. Yunho suddenly wonders why Jisung had been planning on going into the city by himself if he was nervous about crowds. 

“Do you want to head back?” Jisung hesitates for a moment, before he shakes his head again. Yunho chews on his lower lip, contemplating the pros and cons of continuing, not entirely sure if it’ll seem like he’s trying to psychoanalyze the younger man before him. “Are you saying no because you’d feel guilty about it? Because you invited me along with you, and you’d feel like you’re not following through with it?” Jisung winces.

Bingo.

“It’s– I–” Jisung starts, his voice soft, though it cracks. He falls quiet.

“If you’re uncomfortable, then we can head back. It’s really okay, Jisung.” Yunho tells him softly, heart in his throat as he reaches out, letting his hand rest gently on Jisung’s head, fingers tangling with the soft strands. 

Jisung jolts at the soft touch, but he melts a second later, almost leaning into Yunho’s palm like a cat. Yunho’s heart does a funny little flutter at that, letting himself indulge for a couple of moments as he threads his fingers through Jisung’s hair. 

“I’m here for the next few days, I don’t have to explore today.” Jisung seems to hesitate, but then he shakes his head again and continues to tug Yunho down the street, this time with Yunho’s hand loosely tangled with his own.

🎧

What the hell? What the fuck? What the fucking hell? Jisung’s heart is hammering in his chest. Yunho’s hand is warm, and dwarfs his own completely. His fingers are long and calloused, probably from the amount of time he spends at his keyboard and mouse, but they’re grounding. Yunho’s grounding.

He’s also pleasantly surprised at how Yunho was so easily able to pick out where Jisung’s stubbornness and anxiety was stemming from, though at the same time, he figures that he and San are relatively similar with their personalities and tendencies and he’s seen the way that Yunho reads San like an open book (even if San does wear his heart on his sleeve). His friends are typically pretty perceptive to his changes in mood, but they’re never this quick to notice. He’s also incredibly attracted to the way that Yunho had so easily calmed him down and steadied him. He doesn’t know how to explain it. 

It’s also very obvious that Yunho’s extremely handsome. He’s tall, taller than Mingi, with broad shoulders and chest, defined biceps and a slim waist with legs that seem to go on forever. His jawline is sharp, his features narrow and prominent. His eyes are kind, and his lips look soft. He understands now, what people mean when they say that youknowyunho is a streamer that radiates Golden Retriever energy, and how loveable he is by just existing.

And Jisung can say that he was very pleasantly surprised – and pretty embarrassed – to have just popped his head past San’s door at the invitation only to immediately get an eyeful of a half naked Jeong Yunho, defined muscle all on display, prominent and just there for anyone’s (Jisung’s) eyes to see, with shorts rucked up smooth and strong thighs that he sort of wanted to take a bite out of, and he had to force himself to tear his gaze away, face heating up as he ducked into the hallway to try and cool his cheeks, praying that the other two hadn’t noticed.

Jisung was already physically attracted to Yunho from the start, despite only vaguely recognizing him from San’s stories. He was, however, not expecting to meet Yunho for the first time in the way he did, but there was something almost… endearing about it. Jisung had no idea how to explain it. He’s just a little surprised that Yunho’s actual personality is a near copy paste when he streams. It's not what he's seen in most cases with streamers – most often, their worst comes out on stream or they mask it with niceties and the idea of that terrified Jisung.

“Hey, Jisung-ah,” Yunho’s voice brings him out of his thoughts, the taller man tugging gently on his hand. When Jisung looks up, Yunho offers him what he guesses is a small smile behind his mask, eyes crinkling just beneath the brim of his bucket hat. “Slow down a bit, yeah?” 

Yunho’s handsome, Jisung thinks. “I thought you’d be able to keep up pretty easily.” Jisung says instead, poking at Yunho’s hip. Yunho rolls his eyes, and Jisung’s breath hitches when the older man threads their fingers together, squeezing gently.

“Yeah, but you’re stronger than I expected you to be. I’m getting dragged down the street here.” Yunho huffs, and Jisung suspects that if he tugged down the mask, the streamer would be pouting.

“What does that mean?” Jisung demands. “Do you think that I’m weak?” 

They went to the gym earlier in the day. Yunho has seen how much Jisung can lift. He feels his cheeks heat up when Yunho’s eyes roam over his shoulders, lingering on his arms, even though they’re covered by his sleeves. He feels strangely exposed, and huffs out a breath, turning and continues to drag Yunho down the street to hide the fact that his cheeks are overheating.

“Is there somewhere you’re in a hurry to get to?” Yunho asks, sounding amused as Jisung leads them past stores. Jisung didn’t really have anything to do, or a reason to come down into the city if he's being honest. He just happened to be passing by San’s room when he’d heard Yunho talking about wanting to explore the city area nearby, and knowing that San was busy tonight studying for a test, had rapped on his roommate’s door before he’d registered what he was doing.

“No,” Jisung admits quietly. “I just wanted to take a walk.” He glances up at Yunho. “Where did you want to go?” Yunho lights up at the invitation.

Cute.

Jisung wonders if Yunho would’ve just let Jisung drag him around the city without protest if he hadn’t asked the taller man where he wanted to go. Yunho details a little store that he said that he’d heard of, some sort of cartoon shop that Jisung is vaguely familiar with. He pulls them both to the side and out of the way, slipping his phone out of his pocket to type in a few searches with one hand, the fingers of the other still tangled loosely with Yunho’s.

“This one?” Jisung asks, holding his phone up. Yunho squints and leans down to look at Jisung’s phone. Jisung catches a whiff of sandalwood and cinnamon. Yunho nods eagerly.

“Yup! That’s it.” Jisung’s pretty sure that if Yunho had a tail, it would be wagging furiously.

“Alright, it’s a close walk from here. C’mon.” Jisung tugs on Yunho’s hand and leads him back down the street, feeling his heart fluttering at how easily Yunho just lets Jisung drag him around, their fingers still entangled. Mingi or Yeonjun would complain at this point and Wooyoung or Changbin were usually the ones dragging Jisung around.

It’s not long before they reach the store, a couple of customers trickling out, and Yunho makes a noise of excitement. A quick peek into the store informs Jisung that there is a decent amount of people in there, and the idea of being in an enclosed space with that many people and that much sound and that many eyes that could be watching him has Jisung panicking at the thought of it. He feels like he shouldn’t be surprised when Yunho picks up on it.

“Hey, Jisung-ah,” Yunho tugs on Jisung’s hand gently, turning him around so he has to crane his neck up just a little to meet Yunho’s eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Jisung hesitates. “I’ll be really quick, if that’s okay? I know what I want, and I don’t see too many people at the register right now so I’ll be in and out.”

“Okay.” Jisung nods, not certain if Yunho heard him at all. He’s a little disappointed when Yunho slips his hand out of his, but then he feels his face flush red when he feels a soft pressure at the top of his head – did Yunho just kiss him?? – and then Yunho disappears into the store.

Jisung waits, keeping his back pressed against the cool cement of the building next door, flicking through his phone just to give his hands something to do, despite the way they’re shaking with nerves. He hates his anxiety. He wishes that he could mask it better too, especially in public.

He’s a little too caught up in his head and fails to notice someone walking up to him and jolts when he sees a pair of shoes appear in his line of vision and grimaces when the smell of cigarette smoke and alcohol hits his nose. There’s a man standing a few paces away from him, a handful of years older than Jisung, and there’s a glimmer in his eyes that makes his stomach twist in discomfort.

“You out here alone, pretty?” The man asks, words slurring together. 

Jisung’s throat is dry. His tongue is heavy, and he can’t bring himself to say anything, his body locked up and refusing to move despite how much his brain screams at him to. He’s pretty sure that he’s blocking out anything that this man is saying, because he’s watching the man’s lips moving, but he isn’t hearing anything. He flinches when the man steps forward, pressing himself as close to the concrete as he can.

Yunho, please, where are you?

The man steps forward again, but he freezes, as if interrupted. The man looks over his shoulder, and Jisung’s trembling gaze follows, relief flooding his veins as he spots a familiar bucket hat and hoodie clad figure. Jisung catches a glimpse of Yunho’s eyes, and he’s shocked at how dark and furious they look. Yunho steps forward, at an angle, forcing the man to take a step away from Jisung if he doesn’t want to end up nose to sternum with Yunho, who looks like he’s practically towering over the stranger.

“Do you know this person?” Yunho asks. 

Jisung shakes his head. He doesn’t understand why he can hear Yunho’s voice crystal clear when he can’t hear any words that come out of the other man’s mouth. He knows the other is speaking because he watches the stranger’s hands fly around in angry gestures, as if trying to get Yunho to back off. Jisung vaguely recognizes the words of mine and first, and his skin crawls at the implications that this stranger is trying to make a claim on him.

“I came here with him.” Yunho’s voice is deadly calm. “I hate to break it to you, but people aren’t commodities. I don’t give a flying fuck if you saw him first, learn how to respect people like a decent human being.” This stranger is clearly shaken by Yunho’s presence and when he glares back over at Jisung, he squeaks and does his best to shrink further back against the wall. He can’t.

Yunho tilts his body, arms slightly spread so he’s partially protecting Jisung from view, and Jisung’s eyes immediately dart over to stare up at the broad back before him. His body reacts before he can stop it, fingers reaching out to pinch the material of Yunho’s hoodie between them. Even though he’s not touching Yunho’s body directly, he can tell how tense the other man is.

Something must happen or something is said, because Yunho is suddenly rearing back, nearly sandwiching Jisung between his body and the wall. Jisung’s head almost knocks into the concrete wall with the force of Yunho’s jolt, and one of the older man’s hands quickly comes down to squeeze his arm gently in apology. 

And holy shit, despite the gentle gesture, Jisung can feel the taut muscle wound up, ready to strike beneath his palm, where it’s pressed up between Yunho’s shoulder blades. And strike he does, because the next thing Jisung knows, the stranger is on the ground howling in pain, Yunho’s shaking his hand out and then he’s spinning around to easily scoop Jisung up into his arms, dropping the bucket hat onto his head.

Jisung’s heart is jackhammering in his chest, his pulse pounding in his ears, trembling hands rearranging the hat over his head and face to keep it from flying off of his head, curling closer to Yunho’s body as Yunho makes his way down the streets at a rapid pace. Maybe he’s running. Jisung can’t tell over the roaring in his head.

His eyes flick upwards to notice that Yunho’s pulled his hood over his head, likely to conceal his features, and Jisung suddenly wonders how much attention they’d attracted. His heart kicks in panic when he thinks about it, wonders how many people might have recognized them, how many people filmed the thing because so many people like being voyeurs to others’ misfortune, so he does his best to try to think about something else, tucking his cheek up against Yunho’s chest where he can hear the older man’s own heart thundering in his chest.

Yunho’s hand comes up to curl protectively around Jisung’s head, his opposite arm rearranging itself beneath Jisung’s legs, bringing him a little closer to his body and scrunching him up to make his body a bit smaller, and Jisung realizes that Yunho’s trying to make sure he doesn’t accidentally knock any part of his body into a passerby or objects after hearing a dull thud near his head and Yunho grunt out a curse of pain.

The fingers of one hand are tangled in the material of his jacket and the other in the material of Yunho’s hoodie, pressing his face to Yunho’s neck as he tries to calm himself down. Yunho smells like something comforting, detergent almost flowery. He feels and hears Yunho swallow when Jisung presses his nose against his throat, feels the bob, and squeezes his eyes shut as tightly as he can, trying to banish the thoughts of what might happen if he were to press his mouth against the soft and warm skin. Now is not the time.

He doesn’t even realize when they’re back in the apartment until Yunho’s stumbling, likely kicking his shoes off and yelling out for San, his voice shaky. Jisung’s vaguely aware of hearing a door opening, and then he hears San’s alarmed voice, and Yunho’s speaking in low and hushed words, and he’s still holding onto Jisung. 

His hands are big, Jisung suddenly notes, suddenly exhausted. He tucks his head against Yunho’s shoulder, forces his body to relax, and the last thing he remembers is being gently settled down, the soft smell of home surrounding him.

Jisung is a little surprised – and maybe a little disappointed – to find himself waking up in his own room. He still vaguely smells Yunho, though. He feels a familiar presence behind him, but when he rolls over, he’s greeted with Changbin’s sleeping face. His friend shifts when he feels Jisung move, and cracks his eyes open.

“Oh, g’morning.” Changbin grunts, reaching up to rub at his eyes.

“What happened?” Jisung asks, tentatively. “How- when did you get here?”

“San texted me about something that happened last night when you and Yunho were out.” Changbin explains, yawning. “Yunho recalled what he saw and how he brought you here.” Changbin hesitates, before reaching out to brush Jisung’s bangs out of his eyes. “Are you okay, Sungie?”

“I don’t remember much of it.” Jisung admits. “My body did the thing where I just shut out all sound.” He chews his lower lip, not certain if he wants to mention that he could hear Yunho’s voice crystal clear. He doesn’t think he wants to open that can of worms just yet. “I just remember Yunho protecting me.” And falling asleep in his arms.

“You seemed pretty intent on staying with him, though.” Changbin comments, sounding amused. Jisung blinks at him, tilting his head in confusion. Changbin nods at Jisung. “You haven’t let go of that since last night.” Jisung glances down and he’s startled to recognize a familiar dark blue hoodie in his hands. It’s Yunho’s.

He feels his cheeks flush as he remembers accidentally walking in on Yunho, shirtless, and then somehow noticing for the first time how broad Yunho’s shoulders were when he was wearing the hoodie in Jisung’s hands. He’s even more embarrassed at the implications that his body, while unconscious, had refused to leave without some part of the older man.

“It’s just-” Jisung sputters, not certain how he can defend himself. Changbin smiles softly at him, ruffling his already sleep-mussed hair.

“You like him, don’t you?” It’s gentle. It’s an innocent question, but Jisung still clams up.

“Maybe.” Jisung stares down at the hoodie in his lap. He should return it. But he should wash it first, right? Yunho probably wouldn’t want it after Jisung probably drooled on it in his sleep.

Why can’t you do anything right?

He nearly flinches as his ex’s words ring in his head, and Changbin frowns, probably knowing exactly where his thoughts are headed.

“He was a bastard.” Changbin says, tone sharp. “I never liked him. Yunho, on the other hand, is adorable. I love his vibes. He’s sweet and he obviously cares for your well being if he protects you without hesitation. He’s a kind person to the very bone.” Jisung shrugs helplessly, resisting the urge to bury his face back into Yunho’s hoodie and fall back asleep. It doesn’t smell much like him anymore, anyways. 

And for some reason, that’s upsetting.

“Do you think they're still here?” Jisung asks, unable to keep the slight hopefulness out of his voice. “Wait, what time is it?”

Changbin rolls over to check his phone. “Ten thirty.” Jisung sighs, shoulders slumping. He knows that San’s gone to class at this point and that means Yunho’s probably gone too. “You’ll see them later, won’t you?”

“Probably.” Jisung chews on the inside of his cheek. Knowing San’s rigidity of following his own routine, the two of them will be back in a couple of hours. He’s pretty sure that San’s next animated episode is supposed to be released this upcoming Friday, too. He’d check with Wooyoung, but as much as he loves the older man, he’s not awake or willing enough to go through another two hour exposition dump on suncattes.

“You have been spending more time here at the apartment than you usually do.” Changbin teases lightly. “You’re usually hanging out with Jajang in Woo’s room or you’re with me when we’re producing in the studio. Or, I guess you’re holed up in your own room producing.”

“Yeah, well-” Jisung starts heatedly, before he stops. He has no idea how to reply to that. He doesn't really believe in love at first sight, as much as he loves his dramas and TV shows. But crushes at first sight? Crushes that make his heart flutter and yearn and cause all of the blood in his body to stop flowing to render his brain and limbs useless? Yeah, those were definitely a thing. “Maybe I find Yunho really cute, but…” He trails off. “I don’t know.” He sighs frustratedly. 

“Relationships suck.” Changbin says. Jisung hums. “That’s why I swore an oath of celibacy and no relationships.”

“Didn’t you just hook up with someone the other day? And said it was with the prettiest guy you’d ever met? Or seen? And that you wanted to have kids with him?”

“That’s irrelevant, I think.”

“Binnie, do you hear yourse-”

“Your opinion is invalid.”

“I hate this friend group.”

By the time that Jisung, Changbin and Mingi are all done at the studio with Hongjoong, they’re starving. Changbin lights up as he remembers that one of his favorite restaurants is in the area, and they’re on their way to eat lunch when Jisung catches sight of a familiar bucket hat clad and broad shouldered figure, towering over the crowds of people in the streets.

“Oh,” Jisung says, before he can stop himself. He feels Mingi and Changbin glance down at him. Jisung nods at Yunho’s figure, coming closer, and spots a glimpse of San a couple of moments later. He briefly realizes that the two of them have similar builds – the only big difference being their height. “San and Yunho are right there.”

Before any of them can do or say anything else, San and Yunho come to a stop before them. San looks surprised to see them before he offers the trio a small and shy smile. Yunho’s eyes flick to Jisung, then to Changbin and then to Mingi. Jisung can’t really read Yunho’s expression due to the mask and the bucket hat, but the air feels a little chilly as Mingi meets Yunho’s gaze head on. He’s pretty sure he sees the electricity flying between them – the kind he’s only seen in anime.

What the hell is going on with that? Jisung thinks. Much to Jisung’s surprise, Yunho’s the one who breaks the silence first. He flusters when it’s him that Yunho addresses.

Thankfully, Changbin dispels the awkwardness and manages to rope San and Yunho into joining them for lunch. When Yunho offers to pay for his, Mingi’s and Jisung’s lunch when Changbin tells them they’re on their own, he almost yanks Mingi to the side to tell him to stop being rude. He gets the feeling that Mingi’s doing the same exact thing that he suspects Yunho was doing with Wooyoung. Except Mingi is extremely blunt and a little… well, rude.

But he doesn’t want to assume that he’s getting the vibes that Yunho has a crush on him – he doesn’t want to be hopeful, even if he does have that little inkling. Maybe Mingi can tell that Jisung’s the one with a crush on Yunho and wants to get a judge of his character.

Yeah. That’s probably it.

Besides, Mingi doesn’t know what else Yunho does. Jisung’s not even sure if Mingi knows where Yunho comes from. So Jisung thanks Yunho for his generosity whilst digging his elbow into Mingi’s side, a wordless threat and promise that Mingi seems to fail to understand.

It somehow gets worse when they end up separating to eat. San and Changbin find a small corner table where there’s enough space for their food and Changbin’s notes, and the three of them fit themselves at a table by the window. Jisung offers to sit across from Yunho, because he knows that both Mingi and Yunho have long legs and it’ll be uncomfortable for the both of them, but Mingi insists, and Jisung can’t do anything but bite his tongue and watch as Mingi eyes Yunho critically, arms crossed over his chest as Yunho fidgets awkwardly in his seat.

“So, what do you study?” Mingi asks. Jisung almost chokes on his tongue. He almost expects Yunho to fidget further, to take a few moments, but Yunho’s quick to answer, his reply smooth and cool.

“I’m an independent content producer and community manager.” Yunho says, tilting his head to the side contemplatively. 

Jisung is torn between laughing and sighing in relief. It’s not like Yunho’s lying, but Jisung has an inkling as to why Yunho hasn’t said what he does outright. Mingi arches a brow at that, as if trying to make a point that Yunho hasn’t actually answered Mingi’s question. Yunho’s lips twitch, as if suppressing a small smile, and Jisung hopes that Yunho isn’t actually feeling intimidated by Mingi. He knows that Mingi comes across as big and scary at first, but he’s one of the kindest souls that Jisung’s ever known.

“I dropped out of high school to start my own business.” Yunho shrugs, and Jisung feels his stomach twist just a little at the almost smug look on Mingi’s face. Yunho’s damn successful and if Mingi says even one snide thing about it, Jisung might just snap.

He can already hear Mingi’s reasons for why Yunho’s not good enough for him or reasons for why Jisung shouldn't talk to him. Mingi throws what might look like a casual arm over Jisung’s shoulders, and he resists the urge to cringe away, resists the urge to just grab Mingi by the collar and shake him and tell him to cut it out – but he can’t deal with the idea of so many eyes on him or making a scene. Jisung barely registers what else Mingi’s grilling Yunho about, but he’s relieved that Yunho seems to be taking it relatively well, answering each of Mingi’s questions no matter how ridiculous they might be.

Jisung does have to resist the urge to flinch from Mingi’s occasional (and nearly possessively protective) physical touch, and he feels horrible for not being able to muster up the courage to tell Mingi to back off, because it’s clear that Yunho’s getting a bit uncomfortable but he’s also clearly too polite to tell Mingi that. He manages to send Mingi a handful of irritated texts beneath the table, ones that Mingi clearly sees him typing out from the corner of his eyes, and thankfully, he relents.

Eventually, Yunho stands up and Jisung watches him as he walks over to the register and digs through his pockets to bring out his wallet. He feels awful that Yunho’s paying after he had to deal with that.

“What the fuck were you doing?” Jisung hisses at Mingi when he spots Yunho handing over his card.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Mingi says casually, and Jisung’s blood boils.

“You’re being an asshole to someone you don’t even know.” Jisung snaps. “You’re always the one in our group being a stickler for good first impressions, so what the hell is going on? Why aren’t you trying to make a good impression on someone new, huh?” Mingi opens his mouth to reply, but his eyes flick over Jisung’s shoulder.

“Uh, is everything alright?” Jisung feels the tension leave him in one fell swoop and slumps in his seat as Yunho’s tentative voice reaches his ears.

“Yeah.” Mingi replies, cool and detached and Jisung kicks him in the shin. Hard. Mingi grimaces but doesn’t comment. “Thanks for lunch, Yunho. That was really nice of you.”

“I told you, it was my treat. No need to thank me.” Yunho’s voice is quieter, and Jisung sort of really wants to punch Mingi. He tries to meet Yunho’s eyes in an attempt to send him a wordless apology, but Yunho’s not looking at him, instead following behind him and Mingi silently as they approach San and Changbin.

Jisung isn’t surprised that San picks up on it immediately and all he can do is offer San a helpless little smile and a shrug. To his relief, Yunho’s tense shoulders seem to relax when San gently pulls him out of the restaurant, but it’s also clear that Changbin’s picked up on the tension too, because he shoves his hands into his pockets and shoulders Mingi.

“What the hell did you do this time?” Changbin asks.

“Why is everyone immediately blaming me?” Mingi complains.

“Well, if you could see how much Yunho resembled a sad and abandoned kicked puppy just now, you’d blame yourself too.” Changbin’s voice is hard to decipher, but Jisung can tell that he’s annoyed. Mingi simply huffs, his own shoulders tense as they follow the pair out of the door.

Yunho still engages in conversation because Changbin does his best to include him and Jisung’s too anxious to even try speaking, afraid that if he opens his mouth he’ll actually throw up due to the nerves bubbling up in his throat. He does eventually gather the courage to tug on San’s sleeve to talk to him. He hesitates before he asks San if Yunho’s okay – now afraid that he might’ve said something wrong. Then he realizes how self-centered that sounds when he’s worried about someone else.

He knows that Mingi overstepped. But he also knows that he didn’t interject.

At the very least, Yunho looks very excited to, quite literally, skip across a crosswalk with San. It brings a small smile to his lips, and Changbin lets out a soft snort of amusement.

“They really do love each other.” Changbin muses. “They don’t give a fuck about what anyone else thinks. They’re just happy to be in each other’s presence, and I think that’s really sweet. You don’t really find that anymore.” Mingi stiffens at Changbin’s words.

Jisung stares down at his feet. His head snaps back up when he hears a shriek, just in time to see Yunho and San go down in a tangle of limbs. He watches as Yunho twists his body, taking the brunt of the fall, but he also notices how San protects the back of Yunho’s head, and his heart sort of seizes in his chest when he realizes their first instinct was to protect the other. He knows that they’re not romantically involved with each other, but he can’t help but to wonder if Yunho would do the same if he was with anyone else, or if he was with Jisu–

No, stop thinking about that.

His eyes flick up to Mingi briefly. “Are you guys okay?” Jisung follows Changbin as they both hurry across the street to check on them. Yunho looks like he’s about to cry with San’s scuffed up hand in his, and San’s trying to calm him down, bumping their heads together and murmuring quietly to him.

Jisung nearly sighs when he notices the way Mingi’s eyes zero in on the way San and Yunho’s fingers are tangled together, because he doesn’t understand why Mingi’s so caught up on this. He walks around holding Wooyoung’s hand all the time and says it’s platonic. Before the tension can get too bad though, a soft and shy voice breaks through it, and everyone’s eyes flick over to a trio of young teenagers.

They’re here for Yunho.

Mingi looks a little stunned, Jisung realizes, with a small and vicious stab of satisfaction. It’s clear that Yunho’s a little nervous, but with San’s encouragement, Yunho goes along with his three fans and chats idly with them, taking a couple of photos. Jisung feels his stomach twist, an irrational feeling of jealousy threatening to overwhelm him when the three teenagers fluster when Yunho tugs down his mask for a selfie, all stuttering to compliment him while Yunho tugs at the collar of his hoodie shyly, ears red as he thanks them. Jisung sort of (read: he really) wants to press his lips to Yunho’s cheek (read: to his lips) to see how red his ears get.

Yunho looks a little clueless when he returns, as if he doesn’t understand why everyone’s just staring at him with shell-shocked expressions. At the very least, San looks proud. “What’s up?” He asks, blinking curiously, and holy shit, Jisung really wants to kiss him.

He’s never really heard San talk about his streamer life and responsibilities, and he’s honestly really curious about Yunho’s opinion and perspective on the whole thing, since that’s his full time job. He’s not awfully surprised when Yunho asks them to keep quiet about it (in a tone that shouldn’t be as hot as Jisung finds it), and he has an inkling it’s to protect San, because if Wooyoung caught wind of this… well. Jisung wouldn’t say something bad would happen. But something bad would probably happen.

“Did you know, Sungie?”

Jisung almost jumps a meter high at Mingi’s question, before he remembers that he’s supposed to be mad at the older man. “Yeah, I’ve known for several months now.” He tells them. “Since my second semester living with them.” When Mingi and Changbin exchange glances, Jisung can tell that they understand how serious Yunho is about this.

Every time that Yunho’s tag had come up in conversation, mostly initiated by Wooyoung, Jisung hadn’t said or made any indication that he knew the person behind the name. He indulged the older man in his raves and gushing compliments (though they were mostly of San, not that Changbin and Mingi know about San’s channel, or rather the person behind it), essentially acting like he had no idea who Yunho was.

He notices Mingi frowning just a little bit, but doesn’t bother asking him about it, still bitter that his friend had tried to purposefully antagonize Yunho earlier during lunch that the latter had paid for without complaint. It’s a little awkward as they make their way back, and even more awkward when Changbin and Mingi ditch them.

Jisung’s found that over the past couple of days, Yunho’s the chatterbox, and it feels almost wrong that Yunho’s gone radio silent. He doesn’t even shoot San a glance as they get back to the apartment before he disappears into the first room down the hallway, and when Jisung looks over at San, there’s a concerned and almost pensive expression on the older man’s face. He knows that he has a few choice words with Mingi, so he awkwardly converses with San before he flees to his room to add onto the flurry of pissed off text messages to Mingi.

When Mingi tries to call, Jisung just lets it go to voicemail. He gets a text notification from Mingi asking him to pick up, but he’s petty so he turns his notifications off and throws his phone onto the ground somewhere in his room. He ends up sulking and napping for a couple of hours, and before he can think better of it, pads down the hall to San’s room. 

When he pokes his head in, San’s laying in bed and he can just barely catch a glimpse of Yunho’s dark hair from beneath the covers. San shoots him an apologetic look and Jisung doesn’t know how to respond. He feels helpless. He wants to offer help, he wants to lend a hand or something to show that he cares – that he wants to show that he cares, and not just because Yunho is a popular streamer and is well known.

Sure, watching Yunho’s streams has been a bit of a guilty pleasure, and maybe he thought that Yunho’s personality as a streamer was attractive. But he hadn’t been expecting Yunho to look like a goddamn model and actually have Golden Retriever energy that was so genuine that it sort of made Jisung want to cry and bang his head against a wall. Despite not knowing Jisung or never having met him, Yunho wanted to actually get to know him without any ulterior motives.

He asked engaging and thoughtful questions and he picked up on Jisung’s habits quickly and easily and readily adapted to them without batting an eye. He was respectful too, sweet and attentive, and all that Jisung could really think to describe Yunho as would be just short of perfect – because nothing was perfect in this world. And at the very least, Yunho seemed to be aware of the flaws he had (even if Jisung sort of disagreed with some of them). Yunho was everything and more from San’s descriptions and retelllings of him, and maybe Jisung fell in love too easily, but there was no mistaking the floaty, fluttery feeling in his chest every time that Yunho even looked his way.

And when he texts San, once again ignoring the plethora of messages from Mingi, he nearly throws his phone across the room again.

I can’t believe I almost asked San if Yunho had a crush on me. How self-centered is it to think that?

Jisung curls up beneath his sheets, mortified. But at the same time, there is the possibility. Mingi obviously thought something was going on if he’d talked to and treated Yunho like that.

sungie:
are you fucking kidding me right now, song mingi??
what the hell were you thinking
i don't think i've ever been so pissed at you
there was no reason for you to treat someone like that
if you respect anyone as a person you wouldn't pull shit like that
i don't give a fuck if you think you're protecting me
you're embarrassing me
i can take care of myself

mango:
jisung please pick up
i'm sorry
i really am
i don't know what came over me
but you seemed so anxious around him and i didn't know if he'd done something
i’d never seen you like that before
and i wanted to make sure that he wasn't a bad guy
and i'm realizing how dumb this sounds the more i'm typing this out…
sungie?
please answer
i know you're mad at me but this isn't fair
you can't just yell at me and then ignore me and shut me out
:(
sungie :((

sungie:
what do you mean by i seemed so anxious?
mingi i have diagnosed severe anxiety does that mean nothing to you
sorry
that came out wrong
i didn't mean it that way
i'm just
really frustrated with you right now.

mango:
i understand
and i'm sorry. i really am.
but i'm still… 
well i'm still wary of him sungie
i don't know what he wants from you
you're a different kind of nervous around him
like… antsy 
i don't really know what i thought but after finding out who he was i thought that you were nervous because you’d been trying to keep his identity a secret

sungie:
omg
mingi
i love you
but you're so fucking dense
im nervous around him because i LIKE HIM YOU ASSHOLE
did that never occur to you??

mango:
oh shit
WAIT REALLY?

sungie:
…
yes.

Jisung sighs, tossing his phone off to the side again, rolling over to shove his face into his pillow to muffle a scream.

🎮

Yunho sort of feels awful. He considers himself a pretty optimistic person but he can’t help but to feel disheartened by a lot of recent events. Don’t get him wrong, he’s really enjoyed spending time with San and Jisung, and even Changbin was fun to be around. But the hostility that he received from Mingi, despite not even knowing him, has sort of put a damper on his mood. Not even meeting San’s crush for the first time in person could really lift it.

He’s only been here for a couple of days and he thinks that the rate that his heart picks up (sometimes stopping) and the way his breath catches in his throat whenever he sees or hears Jisung is probably not very healthy. Yunho would rather not go into an early cardiac arrest, thank you very much.

It doesn’t really help that San teases him about his roommate, and he knows that San means it in the best ways possible, but every time that San implies something about him and Jisung looks at him with curiosity and dare he say awe, he sort of loses his train of thought and everything about himself.

It’s a bit of a struggle to keep his thoughts in check when Jisung tags along with him and San to the gym because he already knew that Jisung was attractive, but holy shit seeing the younger man lifting the same weight that Yunho struggled with himself with that concentrated look on his face has Yunho’s thoughts spiraling just a little bit.

Now that he thinks about it, that was the first time he’d met Mingi, and the first time that he felt a sharp stab of guilt and mortification that he was indeed, trying to flirt with (not that Jisung knew he was flirting, because he still hadn’t gotten the balls to do it) someone who was already in a relationship. It only confused him a bit further at Jisung’s visceral reaction to Mingi, and a tiny sprig of hope bloomed in his chest, because maybe they were just really close like he was to San. Maybe he was just misinterpreting things.

Not that delusions would be getting him anywhere. He’s sort of hoping that going with San to his classes will help him get out of his head.

But Yunho is only reminded how strange his friendship with San might seem when he first meets Wooyoung. He’d heard about the other young man from San a handful of times, had seen the way that his Sunny’s cheeks would warm and he’d stutter over his words when trying to relay a story. It was cute. 

Wooyoung’s handsome, Yunho notes immediately, as the blonde haired man comes up to the table at the back. He pauses when he notices Yunho, giving him a curious look that Yunho returns a smile (hidden beneath his mask) to. Yunho introduces himself, and because he’s still sort of hung up over what happened earlier, gives a few cryptic replies. He knows that Mingi and Wooyoung are best friends, and maybe it’s a little petty, but he sort of wants to sulk more and more the longer he reminisces over the gym encounter.

Maybe he’s a bit of a little shit to mess with San like he usually does in front of his crush, but it quickly turns to regret and guilt as San goes rigid beneath him, a sure sign that his brain is working overtime thinking about multiple things. When he manages to coax San a bit closer to try to keep him from tipping over, he catches Wooyoung’s expression, kept almost blank if it wasn’t for the burning look of jealousy in his eyes.

Whoops.

He’ll have to apologize to San about it later, but right now, trying to help his best friend from spiraling in the middle of class is more important. If Yunho’s being completely honest, he hadn’t expected the teasing to trigger some sort of bad memory and when San slumps against him, completely passed out, he does his best to try and take notes, heat crawling up his neck and to his ears whenever Wooyoung glances over at them. At the very least, San doesn’t seem to be upset with him.

Yunho will admit that he’s very easily distractible, especially when it comes to San and now by extension, Jisung, because as soon as Jisung offers to take Yunho out into the city, he jumps at the opportunity. Well, after feeling mortified and scandalized when Jisung popped his head into San’s room when Yunho was basically half naked. He hadn’t expected the invitation, but his heart had thrummed eagerly in his throat, and it definitely didn’t have to do with the fact that he would be alone with Jisung, nor the fact that the younger man had fucking sweater paws, fingertips just barely curled into San’s doorframe.

Not at all.

He’d like to think that he’s a pretty happy-go-lucky kind of guy who likes to see the good in everyone he meets, but when he happens to spot Jisung being cornered just outside of the store, he abandons everything that he snagged, feeling a little bad when he just shoves it back onto a shelf and strides out of the store, anger burning through his veins. 

He definitely should’ve just come back to the store later, now that he knew where it was. He’d already felt guilty about leaving Jisung’s side when it was clear the younger man was uncomfortable, and now his impulsive and slightly selfish decision had turned into an ugly situation. Not even the impulsive kiss he’d pressed to the top of Jisung’s head could cool the rage. Jisung had looked terrified, pressed up against the brick wall of the building next door, head ducked with his bangs covering his eyes.

Admittedly, Yunho was running on mostly pure adrenaline when he stepped in, his heart twisting in his chest when Jisung shifted towards him, clinging to him. Bile rose in his throat, disgust clouding his features when the drunk man had spat at him, rearing back when the old man had tried to swipe at him. 

He hadn’t meant to jerk back so roughly, and it felt like so much at once, trying to keep his own emotions in check, trying to keep this stranger from laying his hands on Jisung, apologizing to Jisung for accidentally bumping his head into the wall and trying to figure out how to get out of this situation. It didn’t take much longer, because the next time that the other man tried to attack, Yunho punched him in the face, grabbed Jisung, and ran.

He’d sort of thought – and maybe it was also selfish and presumptuous of him – that maybe he and Jisung were a little closer after that incident, but then today had him doubting everything all over again.

He likes Changbin. He’s pretty sure that Changbin likes him. Mingi… he doesn’t know. Yunho’s just a little taller than Mingi is, but he can’t help but feel like he wants to shrink beneath that scrutinizing and judging gaze. He’s more fidgety when he parts from San, and he can feel his heartbeat in his fingertips the more that Mingi grills him on seemingly useless questions.

He’s admittedly a bit uncomfortable, but he figures that these are just questions that people ask to get to know them better (how would he know? His only friend, really, is San) so he sucks it up. But it only amplifies the fact that he’s pretty sure Jisung and Mingi are dating, and it really sucks how affected Yunho feels by the entire thing. At the very least, Yunho knows now. He doesn’t want to ruin something good in someone’s life, and he’s already too terrified to even try to flirt anyways, so he can be content with just being friends with Jisung.

That’s what he tells himself, anyways.

That’s what he tries to tell himself, even if he’s never felt this way towards anyone before.

Yunho’s already too caught up in his head when the fan approaches, and it only proves to send him into a steeper downward spiral where it feels like everything is out of control. He could put San in danger.

He feels even more guilty when he asks San if he’s busy tonight, and his best friend hesitates, clearly having planned something to do, but ends up crawling into his bed with Yunho instead, wrapping him up into his arms. Honestly, Yunho could cry. His head hurts. His heart hurts even more.

He hates the idea of putting people at risk. He hates not being able to have a good grip on himself or being able to switch on that persona that so many streamers have. The thing is, he can’t switch on a persona if he’s never made one for himself. He has to be himself – and sometimes it’s hard – and it’s terrifying, because these are strangers, and what if they don’t like Yunho? That’s just the last thing he needs after today’s revelations.

There’s also the fact that Yunho doesn’t like feeling weak. He doesn’t like looking weak either, especially in front of those that he loves. It makes him feel insignificant and small, and he’s always been the shoulder that his friends can lean on – that he’s the one that they can depend on. It leaves a bitter feeling in his mouth and his stomach churns when he remembers that Jisung saw him like that – and then remembers it doesn’t even matter, because Jisung’s taken and Yunho is left feeling like his heart has been flayed and laid bare.

Maybe it’s dramatic. It definitely is. But right now, all Yunho wants to do is wallow in his misery in Sunny’s arms for as long as he allows him to be.

Yunho thinks that he might be overdoing it just a little bit. He can tell that San’s a little alarmed that he’s bounced back this quickly, but he wants to make sure that San and the others know that he’s fine. It’s frankly awful to drag himself awake to go out with San on a run, but he makes do with it. 

His heart seizes in his chest when Jisung joins them for breakfast, adorably sleep mussed and dressed in oversized clothes and Yunho reminds himself that those could very well be Mingi’s clothes that Jisung is wearing, and that’s enough for him to pull the last few broken shards of himself together. San had already convinced him to just stay in, since he had tests in a couple of his classes.

When he asks if San or Jisung think that someone would be up to do something, he honestly doesn’t expect Jisung to volunteer. He thought that the younger man would have classes to go to as well, but when Jisung mentions No Man’s Sky, one of Yunho’s most recent favorite games, he lights up eagerly. 

He’s admittedly a little nervous when Jisung offers to let Yunho into his room and sit on his bed while they play games together, but San shrugs at him and Jisung and before he can get any more comforting words from his best friend, his sunshine is slipping out of the door to get to class, leaving him alone with Jisung in the common room.

“If you’re not comfortable with it, we don’t have to.” Jisung tells him. “I know we don’t know each other awfully well, and maybe it’ll be a bit weird, but we’ll be doing things that we both enjoy at the very least.”

“I’m okay with it if you are.” Yunho says eventually. Jisung’s eyes crinkle.

“I’m fine with it.” Jisung stretches, sleeves tugged over his fingers and stands up from the table, beckoning Yunho to follow. “Do you want to grab Sannie-hyung’s laptop? My room’s the one on the right, I’ll leave the door open.” Yunho watches as Jisung shuffles down the hall and budges the door to his room open.

It takes him a couple moments to return to himself and he hurries into San’s room to grab the laptop, charger and mouse. When he tentatively raps on Jisung’s door, even though it’s open, he pokes his head in to find the younger man neatening up the sheets on his bed.

“Sorry, I usually make my bed before I leave my room.” Jisung says, looking a little embarrassed.

“It’s okay.” Yunho tells him. Back home, he very rarely remembers to make his bed. “Can I do anything to help?” Yunho asks, feeling awkward to just stand there. Jisung shakes his head.

“No, it’s okay.” Jisung brushes out the top sheet and offers Yunho a lopsided and heart-shaped smile, brushing his bangs out of his face. “You can get comfortable. I’ll just set up really quickly.”

“Sounds good,” Yunho nods. 

He carefully sets San’s laptop down on Jisung’s bed and crouches down to try to look for an outlet as Jisung taps away at his keyboard. He’s typing quickly, and Yunho briefly wonders what the younger man is doing. Once Yunho has everything set up, he straightens up and turns when he hears Jisung make a noise of frustration.

“What’s wrong?” Yunho asks, coming over to stand a couple paces behind Jisung’s desk chair. Jisung startles, as if he hadn’t heard Yunho and peers up at him with wide eyes.

“Oh, it’s just taking a longer time to download than I thought it would.” Jisung admits, rubbing at the back of his neck as he returns his attention to the screen before him. 

Now that Jisung mentions that, Yunho wonders if San has the game yet. He knows that San plays only a few games that require Steam, so he goes to check the library. Sure enough, it’s not there, and Yunho just navigates to the store tab to find it. He’s been trying to convince San to play with him and he sort of wants to play a fresh start with Jisung, so he buys the game and starts the download.

“What do you study?” Yunho asks.

“I’m a music production major with a music and creative writing minor.” Jisung says, spinning around in his seat, hands clasped over his stomach as he slouches. Yunho knows that another one of San’s friends – one he doesn’t know awfully well – is also studying the same thing. “You know Hongjoong? Kim Hongjoong?”

“Sort of.” Yunho blinks, surprised. Had he said that out loud?

“I met Hongjoong-hyung through San, and then I met him in one of my classes. He’s great.” Jisung tells him.

“I don’t know him that well,” Yunho admits. “But I think I’ve heard his tracks.” He chews on his lower lip. He wants to ask Jisung if he also produces music – which is a stupid thing to ask because that’s literally what the younger man is studying – but he also doesn’t want to press. They’re quiet for a few moments.

“What do you think you would’ve studied if you continued?” Jisung asks, and Yunho jolts, surprised.

“Oh.” Yunho pauses. 

He doesn’t know. He wasn’t the best student, focused more on the arts than he was anything else. Once he discovered streaming, he’d latched onto it, and as his grades dropped further and further, he just dropped out. He can’t really imagine going through the last couple years of high school and getting passing grades, let alone continuing onto college. Academics had never been his strongest suit.

At the very least, he does appreciate Jisung’s wording. If you continued sounds better than dropped out.

“I don’t know.” Yunho scratches at the back of his neck, drawing a knee up to his chest as he slumps against the wall. “I was never really smart.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.” Jisung frowns. “Everyone has something they’re good at.” Yunho shrugs.

“I was sort of good at the music elective classes and choir, but everything else I had pretty low grades in.” Yunho admits. He’s embarrassed about it, because he knows that Jisung’s at least a year younger than everyone in his year, having skipped a grade and even had the credits to go into university at the age of sixteen, or something like that.

“You sing?” Jisung asks, and Yunho feels his cheeks warm further.

“Does it look like I don’t?” Yunho pouts. Jisung flusters, tripping over his words in response.

“It’s not that!” Jisung protests. “It’s just- well- I don’t want to assume or whatnot, but I just… never got those vibes from you? Like, you have a really nice voice and it’s soothing, but I just didn’t expect it?” Jisung’s voice lilts with each word, a sign of his increasing nerves and panic, and Yunho quickly steps in to reassure the younger man that he’s not offended at all.

“It’s okay, Jisung.” Yunho lets out a little laugh. “I was just pulling your leg.” Jisung deflates. 

Then he grabs something from his desk and throws it at Yunho, who yelps and ducks, even if he still gets hit in the shoulder. He picks up the little stuffed hamster off the ground, tiny in his palm, and glances up at Jisung, who’s pouting at him, cheeks puffed out. Yunho pinches the stuffed hamster between his thumb and pointer finger and lifts it up. Jisung’s jaw drops incredulously as he realizes what Yunho’s doing.

“You two look alike,” Yunho says cheekily. Jisung flips him off.

When they first start playing, Yunho has to teach Jisung easier ways to control the ship when they’re in space and tentatively braces himself over where the younger man is sitting at his desk, feeling like he’s about to vibrate out of his skin when he guides Jisung’s hand on the mouse.

They’ve been playing for about three or so hours when Yunho feels like he’s nodding off. He’s been hiding out in his ship because the planet that he’d discovered was toxic and he needed to recover, but he was still there because there were materials the two of them needed back at their base that Jisung was still working on.

It’s comfortable, the two of them playing together in relative silence, broken only by a couple of questions and comments. Jisung’s bed is comfortable too – it feels softer than San’s, and he wonders if Jisung has some sort of mattress cover, or something. He doesn’t even realize when he falls asleep.

🎧

Jisung’s relieved when Yunho seems a bit more chipper in the morning. He doesn’t realize how bright Yunho’s smile really is, the way his face lights up when he’s excited, which brings him to his first dilemma of the day. Although it’s true that he was interested in trying No Man’s Sky after watching Yunho’s stream, he hadn’t actually bought the game when he blurted out that he had it on Steam.

So understandably, he’s panicking a little bit when Yunho seems really eager to play and there’s no way he’s going to find it in himself to say no to that face. When Yunho goes to grab San’s laptop, Jisung scurries around his room to throw all of the haphazardly strewn about clothes in his closet, catching sight of the hoodie he’d borrowed from Yunho in his hamper – he’ll get around to giving it back at some point – and starts to load up his desktop.

He’s just started to neaten up his bed when Yunho returns, and when the older man is looking for an outlet, Jisung navigates to the store page to buy the game. It’s not like he’s ashamed or nervous that Yunho would get upset if he lied, but it would sure be embarrassing. It’s a little more expensive than he’d like it to be, but it’s worth it, he tells himself.

Jisung feels a little guilty when he asks Yunho what he would have studied, and the older man slumps against the wall, looking dejected. But he’s pleasantly surprised when Yunho mentions that he’s musically inclined, and the urge to ask Yunho to sing for him claws at his throat. He stomps down on the urge, but he isn’t able to stomp down the question that rises, and he feels mortified even after Yunho reassures him that he’s not offended.

It shouldn’t be possible for Jisung to feel this many emotions or to cycle through them so quickly and still feel comfortable around the person, but Yunho manages to do it anyways. Admittedly, the comment about the hamster was his fault, but the small smile that Yunho offered him, the murmured cute from his lips had Jisung’s cheeks warming.

And when Yunho was helping Jisung learn how to easily navigate and steer the ships to get away from pirates? Jisung was pretty sure he stopped breathing several times. Yunho was tall and broad, and even if the older man was just leaning over Jisung and his desk chair, he felt all encompassed. That, and his hand was huge in contrast to Jisung’s, gentle and warm as he instructed Jisung in that soft and low voice that Jisung’s come to adore on his streams.

When Jisung looks up at him, catalogs the concentrated furrow to Yunho’s brow, the cute scrunch of his nose and the just barely there peach fuzz, he’s overcome with the urge to just curl a hand behind the older man’s neck and kiss him. But he has no idea if Yunho even likes him back – he thinks he’s reading things right, but he doesn’t want to assume. But the urge is there. It’s very much there, thrumming beneath his skin and threatening to burst out of his chest.

A few hours later, Jisung’s just entered a station and is taken aback when all of the lights are red instead, and it looks rather… desolate and abandoned. “Yunho?” Jisung calls, uncertain if he wants to leave the ship. “What’s this?”

There’s no response. Jisung belatedly realizes that there hasn’t been any keyboard or mouse click sounds from behind him. He shifts, turning in his seat, and his heart leaps in his chest.

Yunho’s fast asleep, slumped against the wall, head lolling, looking sweet and adorable and unfairly handsome. Jisung shifts in his chair and stands up, padding over quietly to his bed. As he gets closer, he hears some soft snoring, and a wave before Yunho’s face confirms that the older man is fast asleep. Jisung tentatively swipes Yunho’s bangs out of his face, and though Yunho twitches, doesn’t wake up.

Jisung carefully takes away San’s laptop from Yunho’s sleeping body and shuts it – Yunho’s save state is safe anyways – before he sets it off to the side. He doesn’t want to move Yunho in case he wakes him and it does look like the older man needs the sleep. Jisung decides to try to get Yunho to lean against the wall instead, awkwardly fitting a pillow against the wall and guiding Yunho’s body to shift until his head rests against it.

Yunho’s breathing pattern changes and Jisung freezes. Yunho doesn’t wake, and Jisung quickly climbs off of his bed to sit back in his chair. He exits out of the game and navigates to s new music file, and within thirty minutes, he has a track quickly thrown together. He plays through it, listening to the lo-fi beats, the bass and percussion beats, and before he realizes what’s happening, he’s reaching for his phone and opening up his Notes app, fingers flying over the keys as lyrics fill his head.

Jisung’s admittedly a little embarrassed when he realizes how often he’s been writing about Yunho in just the past few days, scrolling through the multitude of notes he’s started. He has several songs with different vibes from each one, but they all have a similar theme. Jisung shakes himself, biting his lower lip and saves the file and sends it to his laptop.

He knows that Yeosang and Jongho are out of the apartment today, so he moves his things out to the living room, where he records some simple, raw vocals that he’ll put over the track and layer and then send to Chan and Changbin to get some feedback. Within two hours, he has a new song that he’s pretty satisfied with, though he knows the studio version is going to need a bit more work.

When he and San get to watch Yunho clumsily make his way to San’s room to nap further, Jisung feels his heart swelling with affection, words that he can only convey through songs at the tip of his tongue.

And Jisung doesn’t sleep much that night either, too focused on making up tracks and lyrics of things he’ll never say.

🎮

Yunho’s excited to spend some time with Yeosang and Jongho. He hasn’t seen them much since he arrived on campus, and they’ve always been fun to hang out around. Yunho sort of gets the feeling that they’re a bit at odds, which is strange, because they’ve been attached at the hip for as long as Yunho’s known them. 

Maybe he’ll ask later.

Jisung’s with them, tagging along to the dining hall and everything feels lighthearted. They’ve just found a table and Jongho’s asking Yunho a couple of questions about what he plans to do with his channel next when Jisung suddenly goes tense next to him. Yunho pauses, eyes flicking around before they fall on Changbin, Mingi and an unfamiliar figure with them.

“Goddammit.” He hears Jisung mutter beneath his breath. Yunho looks down at him curiously. Wouldn’t Jisung – or anyone, for that matter – be happy to see their significant other? Unless they were fighting, then that’s understandable, and Yunho really hopes that he’s not the cause of it.

“Jisung-ah!” Changbin lights up, and a small smile tugs at Jisung’s lips.

“Hyung,” Jisung offers. Changbin slides into the seat next to Jisung before Mingi can and Yunho wonders if he’s imagining it when Jisung relaxes.

“It’s nice to meet you guys,” the unfamiliar young man says. “I’ve only met San once when he was helping Sungie bring his stuff up. I’m Yeonjun.”

“Jongho,” Jongho introduces.

“I’m Yeosang,” Yeosang says. He tilts his head, as if contemplating something. Yeonjun turns to look at Yunho, gaze scrutinizing, and Yunho shuffles in his seat, feeling awkward.

“Have we met before?” Yeonjun asks.

“I don’t think so.” Yunho shakes his head. He’s about to ask where Yeonjun thinks they’ve met, but then the other young man’s speaking again, a grin on his face.

“I definitely would remember a face as handsome as yours.” Yeonjun grins. Yunho feels his cheeks heat up and instinctively reaches up to cover his ears, knowing that they’ve turned red. “No, but really, you’re really attractive.” Yeonjun says.

“You have a boyfriend.” Mingi reminds him, chopsticks poking at his rice bowl.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a handsome face.” Yeonjun huffs. “There’s a reason I can’t look at your ugly mug for too long.”

“Yah!” Mingi whirls on him, and Yeonjun cackles.

“You’re quite handsome, Mingi.” Yunho finds himself saying. Mingi blinks, turning his attention away from Yeonjun to stare at Yunho. He shrugs. “I’m not blind.” Mingi chews on the inside of his cheek, looking like he wants to say something.

“Thanks,” Mingi mutters. His eyes flick up, to Yunho then to Jisung and Changbin and back again. “You too.” He adds gruffly. Yunho stares down at his bowl of seaweed soup. It’s not disingenuous, but it feels forced. He feels a tug on his sleeve and glances to his side. Jisung’s looking up at him, brow furrowed and a little concerned.

“Don’t let Mingi’s abruptness get you down.” Jisung says. “He might look like a grumpy asshole all the time, but he’s actually really sweet.”

“Jisung,” Mingi protests.

“Oh, shut up.” Jisung snaps, and Mingi falls silent immediately. “He’s just bitter. Besides,” Jisung adds, lips stretching into that heart-shaped smile. “I think that you’re very handsome. You have a pretty smile too.”

Yunho knows that his ears are red and his cheeks are probably flushed too, but he manages to stutter out a thanks before Jisung gives him another reassuring nudge and returns to his conversation with Changbin. 

He still can’t shake off the prickling feeling of Mingi’s stare on him.

“You look familiar.” Yeosang finally says, the comment directed at Yeonjun.

“I think we’ve had a lab together.” Yeonjun shrugs. “You’re pretty quiet, though.” Yeosang shrugs at that. Yeonjun manages to rope Yeosang and Jongho into a conversation, leaving Yunho to just listen and chip in on occasion when one of the three students nudges him or looks in his direction.

Yunho isn’t sure how it happens, but he eventually gets dragged into a conversation with Jisung, Changbin and Mingi about music. He doesn’t have much music production knowledge, but his theory is somewhat solid – once he can remember it. Apparently, Jisung had mentioned Yunho had done some music stuff in high school and Changbin had latched onto it.

“What sort of genres do you like?” Changbin asked excitedly. “Do you play any instruments? Have you ever composed a piece? Have-”

“Slow down on the questions, Binnie.” Jisung laughs. Changbin huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m excited!” Changbin defends. “I always am when I discover a friend knows music.”

“I’ll listen to anything, really.” Yunho shrugs. “I used to dance too, but uh… never really continued pursuing it because of what I chose to do instead.”

“Do you have any videos?” Jisung asks, peering up at Yunho with big and wide hopeful eyes. Dammit. Yunho doesn’t really want to dig up videos of fifteen year old Yunho fucking up simple choreography, but if Jisung keeps making those eyes at him he’s going to give in really quickly. 

“Probably.” Yunho says, slowly. Jisung lights up and Yunho caves.

Mingi, Changbin and Jisung all huddle together to peer at Yunho’s phone screen, garnering the curiosity of the other three, who even get out of their seats to peer over the shoulders to watch as Yunho watches them with vague mortification.

“You’re really good, hyung.” Jongho says, glancing up at Yunho with wide eyes. “Have you danced since?”

“On occasion.” Yunho admits. His workouts sometimes consist of going to the studio, but it’s something that he does as a one-off thing.

“There are some mistakes, but you move pretty fluidly.” Mingi says. His features contort, as if he’s been kicked in the shin, because he reaches down to rub at something, shooting a dirty look in Changbin and Jisung’s direction.

“You’re amazing!” Jisung whirls to face Yunho. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a dancer before.”

“I wouldn’t consider myself a dancer.” Yunho protests.

“Do you dance?”

“Well,” Yunho starts.

“Then you’re a dancer.” Jisung says firmly. He peers back down at Yunho’s phone to watch the next video. “You’re really cute here too, huh?” Yunho sort of flatlines.

With a lot of effort, Yunho finally manages to steer the conversation in a different direction and listens to the music producers talk about their upcoming tracks and lyrics that they’re working on. He’s curious about Jisung’s, because the young man keeps dodging the question or changing the subject but he’s also very aware of the eyes boring into the side of his skull.

Yunho isn’t a confrontational person. But he can’t help but wonder if he’s done something to piss Mingi off. The question is out of his mouth before he can stop it. 

“Have I done something to upset you?”

The table goes quiet. Yunho feels uncomfortable with all the eyes on him. Mingi is silent, staring at him, as if challenging him to look away. Yunho does. His fingers curl into his palms in his lap, and he resists the urge to curl his shoulders inwards to make himself feel smaller.

“I don’t know, have you?” Mingi asks, cryptically. Yunho frowns.

“That’s why I was asking.” Yunho’s voice comes out softer than he wants it to be, staring down at his hands folded in his lap. His eyes sort of feel like they’re burning.

Maybe he was reading it right – that he is getting in the way of someone’s relationship and he’s just a fool who blundered into it.

“Yeah.” Mingi scoffs, arms crossed over his chest. Yunho doesn’t look over at Jisung or at anyone. He can tell that the young man next to him is rigid in his seat. Yunho opens his mouth to reply even if he has no idea what to say, but before he can even get a word out, Yeosang’s suddenly speaking up.

“I forgot that I told Yunho I’d show him some stuff from my internship because he was interested in the engineering of spaceships.” Yeosang interrupts, cutting through the tension. Yunho blinks up at him. He did? Yeosang stands up, hooking a finger into Yunho’s collar, yanking on it and Yunho yelps as his hoodie dips off of his shoulder, stumbling to his feet.

“Uh yeah, I was.” Yunho says stupidly, and he doesn’t say anything else as Yeosang links their arms together.

“Now, if you’ll excuse us.” Yeosang says, eyeing Mingi critically. “We need to go. Jjongie, you coming with us?” Jongho looks startled that he’s being addressed, but he nods quickly and stands up, hurrying after Yeosang as he practically hauls Yunho out of the dining hall.

“What was that about?” Yunho asks.

“Are you kidding me?” Yeosang scowls. “I don’t know what his problem is, but he has one with you. And I bet it’s completely unfounded.”

“I think he’s dating Jisung,” Yunho blurts. Yeosang comes to a halt and Yunho trips, forgetting that their arms are still linked and Jongho’s shoot out to catch him.

“Mingi? With Jisung?” Yeosang blinks. “I don’t think Jisung’s dated anyone for a while now.” His nose scrunches up. Yunho’s curious, but he won’t push. He shrugs helplessly instead.

“I dunno. That’s the vibes that I’m getting, at least.” Yunho says quietly. “But… thanks, Yeosang.”

“For what?” Yeosang asks.

“Just… I don’t know. Getting me out of there.” Yunho sighs.

“It was far from eloquent,” Yeosang shrugs.

“I don’t care.” Yunho rubs the back of his neck with his free hand. “I’m just… well, I shouldn’t have said anything. Everyone was uncomfortable.”

“Don’t blame yourself.” Yeosang whacks him on the shoulder. “Now,” he says, changing the topic of conversation, “let’s go to the store because I’m still sort of hungry and the cafeteria food did not cut it.”

“Deal.” Yunho chuckles. “It’s on me.”

“Hyung!” The three of them pause, turning around simultaneously to find Jisung running down the sidewalk towards them. He trips, and Yunho immediately pulls away from Yeosang to catch the younger man as he goes toppling forward, slamming into Yunho’s chest. A soft grunt escapes Yunho’s lips as he adjusts them, making sure that Jisung’s standing upright on his own two feet.

“Be careful.” Yunho frowns.

“Sorry.” Jisung flushes, pulling back from where he’d face planted into Yunho’s sternum, hands fluttering briefly against the older man’s waist. “I’m… I don’t know why Mingi’s being like that. He’s never that rude.” Jisung’s shoulders slump.

“It’s okay,” Yunho tries to reassure the younger man. “Not everyone’s going to like their friends’ friends.” Jisung’s lips twist down into a frown.

“Yeah, but…” Jisung trails off. Yunho shakes his head, offering Jisung a light smile, reaching out to ruffle the younger man’s hair.

“It’s fine, Jisung-ah.” Yunho tells him. “Did you want to come with us?”

“If that’s okay.” Jisung chews on his lower lip. “I’m sort of upset with my friends. Mingi, mostly.” Yunho tries not to latch onto the hopeful way his heart skips a beat at friends in such close proximity to Mingi’s name. It feels sort of toxic, at this point.

“That’s fine.” Yeosang says. “I don’t actually have anything to show Yunho.”

“I figured,” Jisung grins wryly.

“Hey! I can be a convincing liar.” Yeosang huffs, crossing his arms over his chest, and Jisung giggles. Yunho’s heart definitely doesn’t skip a beat when Jisung offers him a shy smile, eyes crinkling at the corners, nor does his breath catch in his throat when Jisung snags his sleeve between his fingers as they continue down the sidewalk.

Yunho hates thunderstorms. His fear of them comes from a very stupid mistake he made as an impulsive child. He’d fought with his parents over something stupid and threatened to run away. As a five year old, his parents had dismissed it as him throwing a tantrum. But Yunho had packed a small backpack and put away all the change in his piggy bank into a coin purse and climbed out of his bedroom window on the first floor.

He was planning on going to San’s house, but he’d gotten lost on the way, taking a wrong turn or two, and he’d ended up in the woods. It was getting dark and the thunderstorm had hit out of nowhere. Yunho had nowhere to go, and when he’d tried to climb a tree to find a place to rest and be safe from any potential animals, he’d fallen.

It wasn’t too far of a drop, but it was enough to cause a hairline fracture in his wrist, and in a panic, he’d started running to try to find his parents, to find his way back, when a crack of thunder and bolt of lightning sprawled across the sky. A tree fell somewhere in the woods, and it was dark and Yunho was all alone.

His parents eventually found him, covered in mud and leaves and twigs, sobbing curled up against the base of a tree, with San and several other of their neighbors close behind, all of them frantically searching and screaming for him over the sound of the rain and thunder. Yunho remembers their terrified faces, wet from the rain and tears, and now, Yunho’s not certain what he really associates the rain and thunder and lightning with, but they’re certainly not happy things.

When he’s woken in the early hours of the next day by a thunderstorm, the only thing that he can do is cling close to San’s sleeping body, to shove his face into San’s chest to try to block out the sounds, unable to bite back the near sobs that threaten to escape. There’s a phantom tingling in his wrist.

He’s only able to relax a little when San brings back some noise canceling headphones, and even then, he can’t fully relax. But then there’s a song that comes on, starting with some simple guitar chords, and the voice is soft and lulling and before Yunho knows it, he’s fast asleep, able to let the tension seep out of his body.

Yunho doesn’t know how much time has passed when he starts to wake again. Most of the sound is muted, but the headphones have become slightly dislodged, so he can hear the soft conversation in San’s room and feel the vibrations of San’s voice in his chest. He doesn’t think that the others have realized he’s awake, but a rumble of thunder that shakes the building has Yunho flinching, and San’s easily sliding his fingers into Yunho’s hair to soothe him.

He’ll admit that he gets really clingy, especially during thunderstorms or when he feels scared or insecure, and he’s definitely not against whining or begging to have San stay with him even if he knows that his best friend needs to go to the bathroom. When San finally removes himself from Yunho’s clutches, the older man sulks, face half buried in his pillows.

Yunho vaguely hears San talking with his roommates, and still mostly asleep, instinctively reaches out when he senses a presence next to him, yanking them down. His sleep-addled brain faintly registers that the body is a lot smaller than San’s and that he smells soap and some sort of subtle woodsy cologne. Personally, Yunho doesn’t think anything is wrong, so he snuggles closer, conking out in what feels like no time.

🎧

Yunho’s warm, Jisung realizes. Admittedly, his heart feels like it’s going to leap out of his throat or burst through his chest at how hard and fast it’s beating against his ribs, because his crush is quite literally in his arms, head tucked contentedly beneath his chin, fast asleep and dead to the world despite the vicious thunderstorm raging outside. Jisung hadn’t realized how scared Yunho was of thunderstorms.

Admittedly, he didn’t know that it was Yunho that the headphones were for, but San had sounded frantic through his texts – and maybe Jisung was reading too much into it – but he does remember the way Yunho kept casting nervous glances at the stormy sky the night before. Being stuck at Changbin’s for nearly three hours wasn’t great, but at the very least, it was only Changbin and Wooyoung, since Mingi was stuck in the city in the studio with Hongjoong which meant that Jisung didn’t have to rip into Mingi.

When the rain had let up a little bit, Jisung had made a break for his apartment, getting soaked the moment he left the cover. He nearly tripped and fell a couple of times, but he managed to make it back in one piece, and his heart had seized in his chest when he saw how small Yunho looked in San’s arms, the sad and helpless shrug San had given him.

But now his heart is twisting for another reason. It’s flip-flopping in his chest, wringing out and Jisung can’t really breathe – he doesn’t want to breathe in case he accidentally wakes Yunho up – because Yunho’s fucking snuggling with him. He has no idea how long San’s been gone for, and he’s pretty certain it’s barely been a minute and as cliche as it sounds, it feels like time has slowed down.

Eventually, Jisung forces himself to relax and wiggles just a little. Yunho holds fast, letting out a cute little noise of protest, nuzzling his head further beneath Jisung’s like a cat. He’s pretty sure that if he listens hard enough, he’d be able to hear a purr. 

And honestly, Jisung is exhausted. He’s only gotten a handful of hours of sleep the entire week as both an insomniac and someone who works himself to the bone. Yunho’s warm and comfortable – he feels like home – so Jisnug’s fast asleep before he knows it.

Jisung wakes to the sound of panicked mumbling. He shifts, and the noises stop with a stuttered noise. Jisung’s pretty sure if he just opened his eyes right now, Yunho would look like a deer in headlights.

“S’not your fault,” Jisung muffles his yawn, reassuring the older man that the situation they’ve both landed themselves in wasn’t his doing (even if it sort of was). He hears Yunho stop moving. Maybe he stops breathing. Jisung rubs at his eyes and cracks them open. His heart stutters in his chest. Yunho’s just half hovering above him, eyes wide and hair sticking up in every direction, ears and cheeks red. It’s cute.

“Um.” Yunho starts, reaching up with one hand to rub at his face, long fingers covering his ears and cheeks. “When…” He trails off, clearing his throat awkwardly and shifting his gaze.

“When Sannie-hyung went to the bathroom.” Jisung explains. “You grabbed me instead.”

“Oh.” Yunho chews on his lower lip, and Jisung’s eyes flick down and then immediately looks up at the ceiling. “Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Jisung shakes his head. 

He shifts, getting ready to move because he’s pretty sure he’s trapping Yunho’s arm beneath his body. But he somehow gets tangled in San’s sheets and a little gasp escapes his lips as he topples out of the bed. He doesn’t hit the ground though, because Yunho’s suddenly got an arm looped around his waist, half straddling the younger man, the other hand braced by Jisung’s hip as he keeps them both from falling off.

“Sorry!” Jisung squeaks, cheeks warming up rapidly at the feeling of Yunho’s arm around his body, flexing slightly as he shifts them back to be fully on the mattress again.

“Be careful,” is what Yunho says, even though he refuses to look at Jisung. His hand does linger on Jisung’s waist, as if reluctant to pull away, and it’s awkward when Jisung manages to safely land on two feet and flee the room. 

Jisung isn’t sure if he should feel embarrassed at how easily a new song comes to him later that day.

🎮

When San and his roommates start to make plans to go over to Mingi, Changbin and Wooyoung’s apartment, Yunho feels the sensation of doubt start to creep over him. Granted, the first time that he’d met Wooyoung, he was wearing a mask and a bucket hat and didn’t really speak much. But the fan on the streets had recognized Yunho by just his voice, even if he was also wearing the bucket hat.

From what he understands, Wooyoung is an avid fan of San’s channel and content, even if the young man has no idea that the person he’s gushing to just so happens to be the same person. He knows how much stress San felt when Wooyoung had just mentioned suncattes to him, and he doesn’t want to force San to relive that and have the outcome be potentially a handful times worse.

He’s admittedly very on edge when they leave the apartment, clinging as close as he can to San as the younger man allows, and he’s grateful for the way his Sunny’s hand rubs small circles against his back as they trudge their way through the torrential downpour, cold water swirling around their ankles. They’re all a little damp when they make it to the door, and Yunho’s apprehension kicks up a few dozen notches.

It’s cute to see the way that Wooyoung’s entire expression visibly lights up when his eyes fall onto San, and Yunho doubts that San realizes how star-struck he looks himself. He pouts at the defamation of his (non-existent) cooking skills and does his best to act like Mingi’s suspicious glare isn’t shaking him to his very core. He’s not going to steal the other man’s boyfriend, if that’s what he’s worried about. He feels awful about accidentally cuddling up to Jisung, because even if Jisung referred to the others as friends earlier, Yunho’s still confused on what’s going on. 

He doesn’t want to take any risks and whatever the outcome is, he still feels like he overstepped completely, even if it was the best damn sleep he’s had in a while. Admittedly, he sleeps better when there’s someone he trusts next to him (in other words, San), but he doesn’t think that he’s ever been able to fall asleep that quickly and that deeply before.

Yunho likes Wooyoung. The young blonde is chatty and easily excitable about many things, roping everyone into the conversation and gets everyone smiling and laughing. Wooyoung’s laugh turns a little more high pitched and nearly fox-like whenever it involves San, and Yunho thinks it’s cute. Yunho does cling a little more to San than usual, and he feels his heart twist whenever Jisung subtly reaches for him but he shifts away, catching a flash of hurt or confusion on the younger man’s face.

He swallows his own hurt and guilt, forces his heart down back to where it belongs, maybe even deeper, because he shouldn’t be indulging in these touches when there’s still so much he doesn’t know or understands. But whenever Jisung asks him a question or tries to involve him in the discussion, Yunho makes sure to give the younger man his full attention and to act the same way he has been – just with the addition of forcing the feelings bubbling up in his throat.

It starts when they decide to play Monopoly. Yunho’s prepared to just pair up with Yeosang when he suddenly feels smaller fingers tangling lightly with his own and he looks down to find Jisung there, a nervous but determined set to his brow. He tugs on Yunho’s hand.

“Partners?” He asks, hopefully. And god dammit, Yunho can’t say no.

“Sure.” Yunho can feel the telltale gaze of another certain tall young man burning into the back of his neck.

Yunho isn’t great at Monopoly. He’s not surprised Jongho and San are winning. He’s somehow not surprised when Wooyoung and Changbin start wrestling on the floor. He does speak quietly, feeling subdued and almost like a scolded puppy. He doesn’t want to say anything, because it’s clear that everyone else is having a good time, and for once San looks like he’s letting himself loose.

He thinks he’s doing pretty good at it until he starts to play another board game with Mingi, Jisung and Jongho. Yunho brushes off the first few comments and snide remarks, but there’s one that hits a little too close, some remark about being too stupid or slow at making choices, and the little hourglass play figure he’s holding in his hands snaps in half.

Jongho inhales sharply and Yunho feels like there’s cotton in his ears when he manages to mumble out an apology. He catches sight of Jisung’s furious expression as he gets to his feet and grabs Mingi by the arm, yanking him to his feet and storming off down the hall. Jongho turns to look at Yunho, mouth open to say something, but he shakes his head and instead turns and shuffles to drag San into a greedy and selfish hug, tucking his head down.

“Yubear?” San asks, his voice pitching down in concern. Yunho almost cries. He feels his shoulders tense when he hears the sound of yelling coming from down the hall, guilt threatening to swallow him alive.

He should’ve just stayed in the apartment alone.

🎧

Jisung can’t really remember the last time he’s been this pissed. He knows Mingi’s being protective, probably because his last relationship was such a shitshow, but he’s going way too far. He can tell that Yunho’s pulling away and retreating, likely due to Mingi’s constant lurking presence and scowls. Jisung’s heart sinks the first time that Yunho subtly twists away to avoid Jisung’s touch, when he’s readily accepted it before, and he feels his chest tighten when Yunho only gives him a small and almost melancholy smile when Jisung manages to as if he’s okay.

He really doesn’t understand why Mingi won’t give Yunho a chance. The older man is clearly a sweet guy, a bit awkward, but he’s got a good heart and a thoughtful perspective on so many different topics.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jisung snaps, fury boiling through his veins as he hauls Mingi into his room, kicking the door shut. “What’s your problem?”

“I-” Mingi starts.

“No,” Jisung cuts him off. “I’ve told you so many fucking times to cut the shit. Why is Yunho the only one you won’t give a chance to? You’re respectful to Jongho and Yeosang, but when it comes to Yunho, one of my roommates best friends since they’ve been able to fuckin’ walk, that’s suddenly so different? You like San, don’t you?”

“Yeah, he’s super sweet.” Mingi frowns. “Wooyoung doesn’t shut up about him. But-”

“And by association, do you think that San would be best childhood friends with someone as shitty as Wonhyuk?” Jisung demands. Mingi scowls at that.

“Well, no, but I don’t want to see you getting hurt again.” Mingi folds his arms over his chest.

“I get that, but if you’re this gungho protective over me, I’m never going to be able to find someone who treats me right.” Jisung scowls in return. “I like Yunho. I like him a lot. He’s been nothing but absolutely attentive, sweet and kind, and I can tell that he’s starting to back off, probably because you won’t stop giving him the fucking glares as soon as he comes close to me, and that fucking hurts, because I thought, Mingi, I thought that I could do it. I thought that I could gather the fucking courage to maybe ask him if he’d be interested in dating, but then you’ve gone out and acted possessively protective and driven him off. I don’t like pointing fingers, Mingi, but I’m saying that this is going to be your fault if this doesn’t work out.”

Jisung inhales deeply, feeling out of breath, and maybe his vocal training has come in handy, because he doesn’t think that he’s ever spat at this many words at once.

“I’m frustrated, Mingi.” Jisung rakes his fingers through his hair. “It’s not fair. I asked you to stop, and I know that we haven’t known each other for long, but what happened to trusting each other? I trust Yunho and his character, and I think that even if you don’t trust my choice, you should at least respect it. And by respecting it, I mean staying out of my business. I’m a grown adult. I can make choices. I know that you’re concerned. I know you don’t want to see me hurt. But this is too far.”

Mingi’s staring down at his feet, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“I’m sorry.” Mingi says quietly. “I know I pushed too far. It’s just…” He sighs, reaching up to tug on his earlobe. “Wonhyuk really fucked with us all.”

“He’s expelled now with a restraining order and in prison.” Jisung says dryly. Mingi grimaces. “I’m not the one you need to be apologizing to. I don’t care if you’re ready for it or not, we’re going now.” 

“Wait-” Mingi starts, but Jisung is already yanking him out of the door.

His heart lurches in his chest when he spots Yunho sitting behind San, practically holding his best friend as close as he can, only pulling his head back (reluctantly, it looks) from San’s shoulder when Mingi stumbles into view, shoved forward unceremoniously by Jisung. Yunho’s expression is carefully blank, nearly impassive, but his eyes do look a little red.

“What did we say?” Jisung prompts, uncaring if he sounds curt, folding his arms over his chest. Mingi doesn’t say anything at first, socked feet kicking at the ground. Jisung is going to punch the bastard if he doesn’t start now. “Mingi.” He doesn’t care if Mingi’s going to have to swallow his ego and pride for this. He does feel a vein tick in his jaw at the cryptic apology, and Mingi better be damn glad that Jisung only kicked him in the back of the knee instead of a roundhouse kick to the gut.

He can guess when Mingi’s gaze lands on Yunho, because the older streamer’s expression suddenly goes flat and he leans back slightly from San’s body. Poor San looks petrified.

“I owe a better apology to you, Yunho.” Mingi’s apology is still shitty, but that might just be Jisung. “It’s obvious that you’re a very important friend to Jisung and his roommates, and I was unfair and um… definitely biased against you in particular.” Mingi reaches up to clasp his neck.

“It’s okay.” Yunho says, and Jisung thinks he almost breaks his neck from how quickly he whips his head around to glare at Yunho in disbelief. “Well-” Yunho backtracks quickly, putting his hands up in surrender, averting his eyes. “At least you knew and were aware of what you were doing. It’s sort of shitty that you knew you were being purposefully biased against me from the first day that we met when we had no time to gauge or judge each other fairly. I understand being protective over the people that you care about and although actions do speak louder than words, I’m not sure about passive aggressiveness.”

Jisung’s jaw drops, Wooyoung chokes and spits out a mouthful of water, Changbin has a huge shit-eating grin on his face, Yeosang and Jongho look stunned and San looks stunned and pale. Yunho blinks. 

“Sorry. Was that too rude?”

Absolutely not.

“No, you deserve a few quips. Several of them, actually.” Jisung replies, giving Mingi a harsh glare. Then, awkwardly, “uh, Yunho, would you be willing to come help me grab something from the apartment?”

He doesn’t really have anything. He just wants to talk to Yunho, and he sort of wonders if the older man will go with him. He’s admittedly a little surprised when Yunho agrees easily, and follows Jisung out of the apartment.

They’re quiet, save for the sound of the rain and the low rumbles of thunder, and Jisung halts halfway down the hallway, Yunho continuing for a couple of steps before he realizes Jisung’s not following.

“What’s up?” Yunho asks, looking concerned. “Did you forget something? Should we go back?” Jisung sort of really wants to shake Yunho by the shoulders violently (and affectionately) and ask him why he’s still being so kind to him. He also sort of really wants to just kiss him.

“Oh. No, I just…” Jisung trails off, glancing over at the rain pouring outside. “You don’t like thunderstorms.” He says. Yunho blinks. Something in his expression shifts, but Jisung can’t catch it.

“I don’t.” Yunho admits. “But to be honest, I could use some fresh air.”

“I’m sorry.” Jisung says quietly. “I told Mingi to cut it out a while ago. But he just didn’t listen.”

“You don’t have to apologize for someone else’s actions.” Yunho tells him, and Jisung jumps a little when he feels Yunho’s hand on his head. His eyes flick up and Yunho gives him a small smile. “I’m okay.”

“Okay.” Jisung mumbles.

“Did you really need anything from the apartment?” Yunho asks as they continue making their way down the stairs.

“No.” Jisung admits. “I just… well, I wanted to talk to you and make sure that you were doing alright.” He hesitates. He doesn’t want to ask about Yunho pulling away. His heart throbs at the thought of it. It feels fragile right now, and he thinks that if he hears verbal confirmation that Yunho’s actually pulling away, it might shatter.

He really hopes that he’s been reading things right, at least.

“Ready?” Jisung asks, as they stand at the exit of the building.

“We forgot the ponchos.” Yunho says, contemplatively.

“We did.” Jisung agrees. Neither of them make a move to go back. “Should we?” He asks, offering his hand, heart thrumming in his throat.

“Sure.” Yunho agrees, sliding their palms together, and Jisung lets out a soft sigh of relief that’s lost over the roar of the rain as the door opens.

It’s dark out now, and the rain is nearly blinding as they both run across the streets. The door to the second building is locked and Jisung doesn’t have his student ID so they can’t get in, so they run around. 

Jisung doesn’t notice the car coming until he’s blinded by the headlights and Yunho’s shouting at him, yanking him back. Yunho’s momentum causes him to stumble forward, right into the car’s path. The tires screech and Yunho tries to lurch out of the way, but he loses his footing just as the car hits him. Jisung can’t tell how hard he’s been hit, but he manages to scramble to his feet and haul Yunho out of the street as the car horn blares at them angrily, tires whittling and kicking up more water as it zooms off.

“Are you okay?” Jisung shouts over the rain, which is a stupid question to ask. Yunho’s head is bowed and he’s clutching at his leg. “Yunho!” He drops down to his knees, trembling hands reaching for Yunho’s face, tilting it up. The older man’s face is pinched in pain, teeth gritted as he breathes in and out.

“It’s fine.” Yunho chokes out. “It’s just… shock, I think.” Yunho doesn’t sound confident, and Jisung’s pretty sure that the shock would numb the pain anyways until the injury was registered in the brain.

“Can you get up?” Jisung frets. “We shouldn’t be here in the middle of wherever the road is in the dark.” He fumbles to grab his phone in his hoodie pocket. “Shit.” His fingers are freezing as he tries to turn on the flashlight. He curses and nearly drops his phone as it slips.

“Hey, hey,” one of Yunho’s hands comes up to envelop his own, the other one tilting Jisung’s chin to meet his eyes. Jisung’s breath hitches. Soaking wet and shivering, and even in pain, Yunho looks beautiful. “Breathe for me, Jisung. It’s going to be okay. I’m going to be okay.” Yunho’s hands are warm, and Jisung lets his shoulders slump, head dropping to let his forehead rest against Yunho’s.

“Sorry.” Jisung breathes. “I’m just…” He swallows thickly. “You’re hurt.”

“I know.” He feels Yunho shrug. “I did just get hit by a car.”

“Don’t joke about that!” Jisung swats him on the shoulder. “We should call the others.” Jisung looks around, squinting through the rain. The next building is close by, and there’s an overhang where they can probably wait for a bit. “Can you stand?”

“We can find out.” Yunho grunts, already getting ready to stand. Jisung scrambles to his feet, hands hovering awkwardly, uncertain how to help. He ends up getting back down on one knee so Yunho can brace a hand against Jisung’s knee (Yunho’s hand is big enough that it nearly covers half of his thigh too) and then shoulder, stumbling as he gets to his feet, cursing beneath his breath.

“Don’t strain yourself.” Jisung scolds.

“I’m okay,” Yunho says. It sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more.

With a lot of effort and cursing from Yunho, they manage to make it to the overhang, where Yunho pulls his phone out from his hood. Jisung blinks.

“I don’t like having it in my pocket when I’m sitting on the ground.” Yunho explains. “Probably saved it unintentionally, too.” His lockscreen is what looks like an old selfie of him and San, their cheeks squished together and throwing up a peace sign. Jisung feels like he shouldn’t be surprised at the fact Yunho has San on speed dial. San picks up quickly.

“Yunho? What’s wrong?” The sound of the rain has quieted, but it’s still difficult to hear San on speakerphone.

“Uh, so funny story,” Yunho starts, teeth chattering.

“It’s not funny.” Jisung hisses at him. 

In the lighting of the overhang, he can see that Yunho’s hands are scraped and bloodied, smeared with a little too much red to just have been his hands and his jeans torn too. Jisung can make out more red on Yunho’s knee. Jisung does want to cuff Yunho over the head for being so stubborn about his injuries though.

It feels like an eternity before he spots a figure running through the rain, and he immediately recognizes the broad-shouldered young man. San comes running over moments later, skidding to a half with wide eyes as he stares down at Yunho, and Jisung spots Yeosang and Jongho a moment later.

He feels helpless as he watches San and Jongho support Yunho between them, both of them still too short to prevent Yunho from putting a lot of weight on his injured leg. The wide-eyed look that Yunho shoots Jisung when San sweeps him up bridal style has him stifling a grin, though.

He feels extremely flustered and awkward when San gets Yunho onto the kitchen counter and demands that he takes his jeans off, fidgeting and dripping water all onto the floor and he has no idea what to do. Yunho’s obviously in a lot of pain, that much is evident. The kitchen is dark, and Jisung really hopes that it’s dark enough to cover the furious blush on his face when Yeosang and Jongho hand him the ointments and bandages and proceed to disappear down the hall, leaving Jisung alone with a pantsless Yunho.

“Um.” Jisung scrambles to grab a new kitchen towel, wetting it at the sink with some hot water and wrings it out. He returns, hands hovering awkwardly. “Is this okay?” He asks, softly. His voice breaks halfway through and he grimaces.

“Yeah.” Yunho exhales shakily. The first tentative touch of the hot towel against Yunho’s thigh has the older man inhaling sharply, the muscle flexing and jolting beneath his cold skin.

“Sorry.” Jisung manages. He steels himself before he places a gentle hand against Yunho’s thigh, swiping the towel carefully and tentatively against the swollen skin, cleaning off the blood. There’s a cut across Yunho’s knee that Jisung treats, but other than that and the swelling, it doesn’t look awful.

Jongho comes back after a couple of minutes to check and make sure there aren’t any breaks, and although it results in Yunho gritting his jaw so tightly Jisung thinks it might snap and the bruising imprints of his fingers against Jisung’s shoulders, the injuries seem to be minor. It’s still awkward when Jongho leaves, because Jisung’s trying his hardest to clean the wounds without touching Yunho’s skin too much (and trying not to admire the way muscle flexes and twitches with each gentle touch).

“Yu, I have a change of clothes for you.” San’s voice startles Jisung, and he freezes, unable to figure out what to do next. “Do you want to take a shower?”

“Don’t think I can, to be honest.” Yunho replies, and Jisung hadn’t noticed that Yunho’s teeth were chattering earlier, but now when he looks closer, Yunho’s entire upper body is shivering.

“Give me your wet clothes.” San says, and Jisung’s pretty sure that he and Yunho freeze. Jisung’s brain is going haywire. Yunho’s own eyes are comically rounded.

“You should change.” Jisung says, before he can help himself. Yunho’s wide eyes dart down to him. Jisung chews on his lower lip, and he wonders if he’s imagining it when Yunho’s eyes drop to the action before they meet his again. He hears the shuffling of feet leaving, an indication that they’re alone again. “I won’t look if you don’t want me to.”

“Ah,” Yunho says, reaching up to cover his ears. It’s a habit, but at least Jisung now knows that he’s not the only one feeling like he’s flustered.

“Here,” Jisung offers Yunho a dry towel, flushing when Yunho tilts his head at him curiously. “Uh, to cover yourself or to sit on when you change…” He gestures vaguely to Yunho’s lower half, clad only in wet boxers clinging to muscular thighs (Jisung does not look, he doesn’t ), and Yunho makes a vaguely mortified noise in his throat.

“Right. Um.” He shifts awkwardly. Jisung pads over to the clothes that San left on the kitchen table, and then Yunho suddenly makes a noise of protest. “Wait- Jisung.”

“Huh?” Jisung blinks, turning around.

“Aren’t you cold?” 

Now that Yunho mentions it, he’s fucking freezing.

“It’s okay,” Jisung says instead. Yunho looks skeptical, brow furrowing as Jisung brings over the older man’s change of clothes and sets them down on a dry part of the counter.

“You’ll get sick.” Yunho mumbles, fingers twisting together, eyes half lidded as he peers at Jisung nervously. Jisung chews on the inside of his cheek.

“I’ll go get changed and you get out of these.” Jisung says, surprised at the sudden surge of boldness as he tugs at the hem of Yunho’s boxers. Yunho makes a strangled noise in his throat. “I’ll be back in like, five minutes. If you’re still… I dunno, naked from the waist down and you hear someone walking back down the hall just scream.” Jisung reaches up to pat Yunho on the cheek. “Do you need anything else?”

“Um…” Yunho trails off. Jisung hears him swallow, eyes drawn to the bob of Yunho’s Adam’s Apple. “No, I’m good.” He breathes, and Jisung offers him a small smile. 

He runs the towel under hot water again, wrings it out and hands it to Yunho before he pads down the hall. He strips quickly in his room, leaving his clothes on the floor momentarily as he changes into a pair of thick, wooly socks, a pair of pajama pants beneath a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt beneath a hoodie. He slaps a beanie over his head, shoves another one in his hoodie pocket and hangs his wet clothes up on his drying rack. He loiters a bit before padding back out into the hallway to find Yunho wrestling with himself to tug on a pair of basketball shorts.

“Need help?” Jisung asks. Yunho yelps, banging his head against the cabinets and Jisung hurries forward to check the area Yunho clutches at. “Clumsy.” Jisung murmurs, soft and fond, his fingers rubbing gently at the injury. “Stop hurting yourself.”

“Can’t help it.” Yunho pouts. 

Jisung rolls his eyes. Yunho did manage to shuck off his wet boxers and wiggle on a new pair, along with sitting on the towel. The shorts are caught halfway up his thighs, and Jisung hooks careful fingers into the waistband and steps between Yunho’s legs to try to help him to shimmy into them. They nearly end up nose to collarbone, with Jisung pressed up against the counter and Yunho on the very edge of it, and the air feels charged.

Yunho smells like rain and something almost cinnamony. Jisung can feel the heat that radiates off of his skin, watches the slow bob of Yunho’s throat again and he has to physically force himself to step back a couple of steps before he does something inappropriate. To occupy his hands, he grabs the extra beanie in his hoodie pocket and shoves it onto Yunho’s head. Yunho yelps.

“Do you not have pants?” Jisung blurts, so he has something to do with his mouth. Yunho blinks at him from beneath the hem of the beanie and the curtain of his bangs that he pushes back into the soft material.

“No, not really.” Yunho shakes his head. “Not ones that I brought. San’s are too small for me, too.”

“ You’re going to get sick.” Jisung frowns. Yunho shrugs helplessly.

“Someone once said that idiots don’t get sick, so-”

“Don’t let things that people have said about you determine that.” Jisung cuts him off. Yunho goes quiet, shoulders shrinking into himself. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap like that.” Jisung deflates. “I just… I hate it when people I care about talk down on themselves.” He hears Yunho’s breath hitch at that. “C’mon,” Jisung deflects. “Let’s get you out of your wet hoodie and shirt.”

“Okay,” Yunho nods, and up close, Jisung can see the flush that covers his cheeks. Jisung’s pretty sure that he’s not any better.

It takes some effort, because Yunho’s arm is a little sore from where he fell on it, and Jisung does his absolute best not let his fingers graze against the smooth and hot skin or to just gawk at the sight before him as Yunho’s arms fall awkwardly to the side, twitching as if he wants to cover himself. He knew that Yunho’s back was broad, but he looks even larger from the front, even if Yunho’s shoulders are slightly curled inward, his flush having traveled down to the tops of them. Yunho is fucking built and it’s not fair. He’s hot and that’s also unfair.

“Do you want another towel?” Jisung blurts, all of the words coming out of him in a rush.

“Yes please.” Yunho sounds incredibly shy, tugging at the beanie – Jisung’s beanie – atop of his head and Jisung sort of wants to scream into his pillow. Or scream into Yunho’s- and Jisung needs to stop. Jisung hurries into the bathroom this time and grabs a new towel off of the shelf and brings it back to offer. “Thank you.” Yunho smiles at him gently and Jisung’s heart thrums in his chest like a hummingbird's wings.

🎮

Yunho’s in the middle of playing a song he used to be obsessed with when he was younger, singing along softly to the lyrics when he starts to struggle to remember how to play a C major 7th chord for the bridge when he hears the sliding glass door rattling open. He glances up, warmth immediately flooding his cheeks when he realizes it’s Jisung.

Jisung, who helped treat his wounds the night prior. 

Jisung, who saw him half naked in two variations with only a small scrap of fabric to maintain his modesty.

Jisung, who’d seen him vulnerable and cold.

Jisung, who had stared at him with something akin to reverence in his eyes, who’d touched him gently and sweetly and had made Yunho want to cry. The good kind of crying, though.

And Jisung, a music production major and music minor who probably just heard his horrid attempt at playing an instrument.

“Hi,” Jisung greets, stifling a yawn.

“Good morning.” Yunho returns. The streets are mostly visible now. The sun’s out, and the sky’s still cloudy, but Yunho feels like he can breathe better now. “What’re you up to?”

“I was curious.” Jisung replies, gesturing to the guitar. “You play?”

“A bit.” Yunho nods. “Haven’t really played in years though.” He pauses, drumming his fingers against the neck of the guitar. Jisung’s quiet for a few moments.

“You sounded really good, though.” Jisung says. Yunho blinks.

“I-” He halts, confused and incredibly flustered, because what the hell? Jisung’s a published and apparently pretty popular producer. Yunho’s just… mediocre at best. If even that. “I’m not any good.” Yunho huffs, shaking his head. “I gave it up a while ago.”

“That doesn’t mean that you’re not good.” Jisung argues, leaning against the balcony railing, arms crossed over his chest. “You might be a beginner, but I think it sounds good.”

“I can’t even remember how to play it properly.” Yunho lets out a bitter laugh. Jisung shrugs.

“That’s okay. I forget my own lyrics pretty often.” Jisung says. Yunho tilts his head.

“You do?”

“Yep.” Jisung nods. “Changbin tells me it’s just because I write so much that I end up forgetting it all.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Regardless, every musician has their flaws. Everyone’s still practicing. No one’s perfect. No one’s going to be perfect. I think you’re good, and that’s enough for me, honestly.”

Can I kiss you? Is what Yunho wants to ask. “Can you help me?” Is what Yunho says instead. Jisung blinks at him.

“What do you need help with?”

“Uh…” Yunho balks momentarily, trying to remember the chords because he can’t remember the name of the song. “C major seventh chord.”

Jisung hums softly and shifts forward to show him the correct finger placements. His touch is light as he guides Yunho’s fingers to the right spot, but the older man is suddenly several degrees more nervous now that his idle song session is no longer solo.

“Like this?” Yunho asks, strumming over the strings. Jisung nods, pulling back to lean back against the banister.

“Yep.” Jisung offers him a small smile. “It sounds good, Yunho.” He pauses, tilting his head. “Your voice is very nice.” Yunho stops playing, releasing the neck of the guitar to rub at his cheeks, flustered.

“Thanks.” Yunho mumbles. “I’m uh- I’m sure that yours is better.” He almost hits himself. Jisung shrugs his shoulders.

“Better is subjective.” Jisung tells him, shaking his head. “Just take the damn compliment, Yunho.”

“Oh.” Yunho feels his cheeks warm further, fingers drumming awkwardly against the wood. He doesn’t know what to do now. Then he remembers something. “Oh,” he starts, causing Jisung to look over at him curiously. “There’s a song I heard the other day, uh, when I was borrowing your headphones during the thunderstorm – thank you for those again, by the way – and I really liked it, but I don’t know what it’s called.”

“Do you remember the vibes of the song? How did the song start?” Jisung asks.

“Uh, I think it started with a three count and then just guitar chords.” Yunho shuffles awkwardly in his seat. Then he realizes Jisung's standing. “Do you want the chair?”

“No,” Jisung shakes his head, looking amused. “Remember the tune, or anything?” Yunho hesitates. He does, but he doesn’t really want to embarrass himself.

“Not really.” Yunho shakes his head. “I fell asleep to it. But I just remember liking it a lot.”

Jisung shifts, taking his phone out of his pocket to presumably scroll and navigate to his Spotify. His thumbs flick against his screen and eventually, a song plays through the speakers. Jisung looks anxious about it, fingers drumming against the back of his phone, foot tapping against the floor.

“That’s the one.” Yunho says.

“It’s called Another Day.” Jisung says. “I know the song.” He slips his phone back into his pocket and crosses the tiny balcony to stand next to Yunho again, half crouching to show him the chords and finger placements. Jisung’s voice is low, mellow and gentle as he guides Yunho through the chord progressions, and Yunho can’t help but to just admire Jisung’s pretty side profile the entire time.

Yunho doesn’t think it’s weird that he’s currently scrolling through Jisung’s very sparse Instagram and Twitter account. To be fair, he’d discovered a post of Changbin’s in his for you page, and curious, had clicked on it to swipe through a few series of photos of him, Jisung and another strangely familiar man in the studio. He sends a quick text to Christopher, you know Changbin and Jisung?? and maybe he taps on the photo of the three of them to see if Changbin’s tagged any of them, and sure enough, he has. 

At least that’s what he tells San how he discovered Jisung’s Instagram. It’s not his fault that Jisung has the same username on Twitter.

Yunho would like to think he’s starting to get over his crush on Jisung – until he hears Jisung’s voice in the background of his calls with San or he sees photos of him – and until he knows that he has direct confirmation that Jisung is single and isn’t dating Mingi, he’s going to keep a respectful distance. Which is admittedly going to be easier now that he’s in a wholly different city.

They didn’t exchange contact numbers, and Yunho does admit that he’s not that difficult to find on social media and Jisung had implied that he’s watched Yunho’s streams (he does, however, resist the urge to check Jisung’s following, because he’s not that nosy, thank you very much.).

Besides, he just got off of a call with San, and although he was teased relentlessly about his crush on Jisung, his best friend had told him about a conversation he had with Mingi. Apparently the other man had wanted to apologize to San again and to try to clear the air.

He didn’t confirm or deny that he was dating Jisung. San had told him. But from the sound of it, things are in your favor.

Yunho doesn’t want to ask for Jisung’s phone number unless he knows that the younger man is comfortable with it, and even then it’ll be hard for Yunho to set boundaries for himself so he doesn’t seem to come off as overbearing or as a nuisance. His shoulders slump, a sigh expelling from his lips. This is so difficult for no reason.

At the very least, Yunho’s managed to discover who the artist was of the song Jisung taught him to play on the balcony. Another Day, written, composed and arranged by an artist named J.One, who’s only become active in the past two or so years. They’ve got a pretty modest following, and they typically release a new song every month. Their latest song is one that Yunho has latched onto, playing it on loop over and over again, and he tries not to dwell on his own thoughts for too long, because Close reminds him too much of Jisung.

J.One has an impressive discography and so many of their songs are heartfelt and relatable and Yunho has no idea how some people can just lay themselves bare in music. He admires all of the artists for it nonetheless. He wonders if Jisung has any produced and published songs. It sounded like he did, based on what Changbin and Mingi had said that one night they spent together eating and playing games.

Oh, right, did Yunho mention that the call he just finished with San also involved speaking with Jisung for almost forty minutes?

The way that his Sunny had just betrayed him?

Jisung was adorable, the camera moving back and forth as the younger man made himself comfortable on the couch in the common room, and on occasion would shift to the side. He was snacking on something, cheeks puffed out slightly and Yunho could really see the comparison to the hamster right then and there. He wanted to squish and pinch at Jisung’s cheeks. Maybe press a kiss there, too.

No. Yunho berates himself. He has to keep that distance. He almost asks Jisung for his number before the younger man leaves. Almost. But he chickens out because he still doesn’t know and he doesn’t want to ruin someone else’s happiness, so he seals his lips shut and swallows his heart down.

🎧

Secret, Secret is definitely a song that Jisung is super nervous about releasing. It’s probably one of the most, if not the most vulnerable song he’s released. It’s to the point where his brother calls him to check up.

“Hannie, are you doing alright?” Minho demands, skipping pleasantries and greetings. “Your songs are getting really…” His hyung trails off. “Vulnerable? Heart aching? I don’t know how to describe it. The one you just released is really good, by the way. Mom cried.”

“I’ve been… inspired lately.” Jisung says lamely. Minho hums on the other side, a wordless prompt for Jisung to continue. He lets out a sigh. “I met one of my roommate’s best friends near the beginning of the semester. He’s been over a few times before, but I’ve always missed him, since I was usually working in the studio or staying over at Changbin’s.”

“My little brother isn’t dating anyone unless I approve of them first.” Minho says with a straight deadpan.

“Hyung, I’m literally twenty one, almost twenty two. I know my last relationship was shitty-”

“That’s putting it lightly.”

“-but he’s different.” Jisung watches as his brother blinks on the other side of the line, before leaning back and folding his arms across his chest. “Hyung! I’m being serious.” Jisung whines. “He’s…” He trails off, feeling his cheeks warm. “He’s perfect to me.” Jisung admits, drawing his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them tightly. Minho’s quiet for a few moments, watching his younger brother carefully.

“You really like him, don’t you?” Minho asks softly. Jisung nods, chin digging into his knees.

“I do. It’s just…” Jisung chews on his lower lip. “I’m like, ninety percent sure that he likes me back.” Jisung mumbles, his breath hitching in his throat. “But Mingi’s a protective bitch after Wonhyuk and he sort of… stopped. I think he’s pretty sure Mingi’s just possessive over me and we’re dating, or something.”

“Isn’t he like, in love with Hongjoong?” Minho asks.

“Yes!” Jisung throws his hands up in the air. “I was too scared to ask for his number before he left, too.” Jisung slumps.

“What’s his name?” Minho shifts on the other end of the line and Jisung eyes him critically.

“You’re not going to go try to look him up, are you?”

“No,” Minho lies, unsuccessfully. Either way, it’s not like it’s difficult to find Yunho. Jisung sighs.

“It’s Yunho.” He mumbles. “Jeong Yunho.” Minho blinks. There’s a few minutes pause.

“Yunho? Like the streamer Yunho? Jeong youknowyunho Yunho?” Minho balks. Jisung chews on his lower lip.

“Yeah.” He nods. “His best friend is my roommate.” Jisung’s fingers play with the sleeves of his hoodie – of the hoodie that he never returned to Yunho, partially because he forgot. He can tell that his brother wants to say a lot of things.

“Just… be careful.” Minho says eventually. Then, “so the songs are about him?” Jisung flushes furiously.

“Maybe!” Jisung sputters. “Yes.” He deflates when Minho shoots him an unimpressed look. “I know that you would like him, hyung. He’s so genuine and open about everything. He’s careful and honest and super sweet. He’s always making sure that others are comfortable around him, even if it might be at his own expense. He protects his friends.” He chews on his lower lip. “He pulled me out of a car’s path during the storm without a second thought.”

“Was he okay?” Minho sounds alarmed.

“Yeah.” Jisung nods. He suddenly feels awful that he hadn’t talked with San more and asked about Yunho’s leg. He did ask that one day that San had given him his phone while he worked, and Yunho had simply just given him a bright and sunny smile, promising that he was okay. “He’s selfless to the point where he’s a bit reckless.” Jisung admits.

“Oh wow, he’s handsome.” Minho says suddenly.

“Huh?” Jisung blinks, looking up. Minho shifts his phone.

“I was curious and looked him up. There’s not many photos, but the most recent selfie he took is nice. I can sort of see why you like him. He’s your type, isn’t he?” Minho muses. Jisung flushes.

“Hyung!”

“Is he tall?” Minho asks, eyeing Jisung knowingly through the screen. Jisung shuffles.

“Maybe.”

“How tall?” Minho grins. Jisung purses his lips.

“I just barely come up to his chin. I’m more like shoulder height on him.” He huffs. Minho whistles.

“When you guys get together, you should come visit me in Busan.” Minho says. Jisung buffers.

When?

“What do you mean, when?” Jisung demands, cheeks hot. Minho shrugs a shoulder.

“I trust you, Sungie. You’re good at reading people. You said that he’s genuine and open and honest. If he likes you, and you get the feeling that it’s in a more than just platonic way, you’re probably reading it right.” Minho tells him.

“Oh.” Jisung mumbles, staring down at his socked feet. He should really get the balls to ask for Yunho’s number. Minho smiles at him gently.

“You’ll be just fine, Hannie. Your favorite brother is cheering for you.” Minho says.

“You’re my only brother.” Jisung protests. Minho just gives him a shit-eating grin.

Later that day, Jisung gets on Discord for the first time in ages. He has multiple notifications and mentions, but he ignores them and goes to the server that Yunho runs for his channel. He’s missed out on a handful of streams, and he skims through the announcement channel to see that Yunho has decided to take a little break from streaming and cut back on the number of days he goes live.

I’m feeling a bit burnt out, is what Yunho writes, and I don’t want to risk burning out completely and having nothing to give you guys.

Yunho’s online. His status is on do not disturb, his profile picture is just a really bad quality zoomed in photo of his face from nearly four years ago. It makes a small smile tug at his lips. Then, his eyes fall to the words in Yunho’s status, his breath hitching in his throat. The words, or rather the lyrics, seem awfully familiar.

Put all your worries away in the falling rain.

Jisung hovers his mouse over Yunho’s name on the online list, chewing on his lower lip nervously. Yunho’s listening to Spotify. Jisung clicks on his name, eyes falling down. Secret, Secret by J.One.

Holy shit.

Jisung watches, holding his breath, as the little moving dark bar reaches the end, indicating that the song is over. His breath leaves his lips in one fell swoop as the song starts over.

Admittedly, Jisung shouldn’t be too surprised. The song that Yunho had requested Jisung to teach him was one of his own songs. Jisung had stopped the song before the lyrics could start, petrified that Yunho would recognize his voice and comment on it. If he has recognized Jisung’s voice, he hasn’t heard about it.

Part of Jisung really hopes that Yunho hasn’t, because he would be mortified if Yunho connected the dots and knew the lyrics were about him. He’s about to close out of the Discord app when he notices Yunho’s name pop up at the bottom of the announcement channels, signaling that he’s typing and Jisung freezes. It goes away after a moment, but then returns and about a minute later, a new announcement gets sent to the channel and Jisung sort of wants to die.

Yunho is promoting his songs in this massive server of several hundred thousand people – possibly a couple million – and at the very least, it’s not his most vulnerable songs, and one that he’s actually incredibly proud of, but they shouldn’t be that hard to find if they know his name. Within moments, there are several reactions to the messages, numbers ticking up as people read it and presumable go off to listen.

Jisung is torn between panicking and feeling affection swell in his chest. He’s tempted to see if he can message Yunho, but he’s pretty sure that the older man gets hundreds upon thousands of DMs a day and his would only get lost in the storm of them.

He finally moves to the general chat to see if there’s anything interesting to lurk around for, and to say that he’s even more flustered to see that people are starting to talk about Jisung’s song, Phobia, with enthusiasm, Yunho even chiming in, is a huge understatement. It feels almost voyeuristic to just read through messages of people praising his work and craft, so Jisung swaps to his DM list, cheeks warm.

He exits out of the app and throws himself onto his bed, screaming into his pillow.

🎮

It’s mid-morning on a Sunday and Yunho’s on the phone with San, ranting about a food service worker who was probably just there to get paid and didn’t give a fuck about whether or not he offended people. Yunho wasn’t going to make a scene in public, but he was going to rant about it. Yunho worked briefly in food service before he dropped out of high school.

Sure, it sucked, but the very least one could do was to plaster a fake smile on their face and pretend that they liked their job.

The bakery he’d stopped at was nice and not awfully busy so he’d decided to stop in and grab a little treat for himself. There was an impressive array of items, including cheesecake, and he remembers how Jisung had told him how that’s one of his favorite foods. And like always when it comes to thinking of Jisung, Yunho briefly wonders what would happen if he were to bring Jisung here.

He remembers this mid-rant on the phone with San and he feels a stupid fond smile tugging at his lips and the fight leaves him in a rush. He slumps against the wall he’s been leaning against, untangling himself from his bedsheets.

“Why does everything remind me of him.” He grumbles, eyeing the mini speaker on his nightstand as if he wasn’t the one to put on a playlist of songs that reminded him of Jisung, too. He feels like a fool, if he’s being quite honest. How San hasn’t lost his patience with him about his pining over Jisung is beyond him at this point.

“What’re you doing, Yun?” San asks, sounding awfully amused.

Yunho shifts to rest against the headboard of his bed. “Getting comfy,” he says, before he promptly misjudges the distance (again) and smacks his head against the wood. “Motherfucker.” Yunho curses, reaching up to clutch as his head.

“I told you to get a new bed like, five years ago when you hit your growth spurt.” San tells him, the sound of chopsticks clinking carrying through the line, which then sets Yunho off on another long and pointless rant, and San only hums mildly in response, proposing to just do it over the summer.

“Don’t wanna. Sunny, I don’t wanna.” Yunho mumbles petulantly, knowing full and well that he’s acting like a child and not a twenty-two year old grown ass man. His eyes flick over to the speakers where Close is now playing.

When I look into your eyes, I still freeze

All these things are unknown to me, even the emotions I’m feeling right now

“Sunny, what the hell do I do about my crush on Jisung when he’s dating someone else?” Yunho asks, staring at the ceiling. San starts coughing on the other end and Yunho’s both concerned and confused, because this really shouldn’t come as a shock to San, because he’s been really obvious and annoying about he feels about Jisung, unless-

“Well, you could ask me out to start. I’m available, you know. I’ve been single for a while. Mingi’s just a protective bitch.” Jisung’s voice filters through the speakers on his phone and Yunho stops breathing.

What the fuck.

Whatthefuck.

Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck.

In his panic, heart thrumming in his chest to the point where he thinks it’s stopped beating, he hangs up. Then he panics again and shoots three quick texts to San before he remembers that Jisung’s literally right there and will probably see them and he’s just about ready to melt into a puddle of mortified and horrified Yunho soup when his phone buzzes with an incoming call and Yunho almost throws it.

He forces himself to take a few deep inhales, tries his best to compose himself (he fails) and answers the call.

“Why didn’t you say that someone was there with you?” Yunho just manages to keep his voice from cracking.

“Well, we’ve never had to ask about it before, nor have we had to worry about it.” San says, matter of factly. Yunho muffles a wail into his arm.

“Do you want my number?” Jisung asks, and this time, Yunho actually does throw his phone. He lets out a screech when he almost throws it off of the second floor, the device sliding across the lacquered wood and he practically throws himself off of his bed to grab it. 

As if Yunho couldn’t be embarrassed enough.

“Um. Yes please. That would be great.” Yunho manages to say, his back pressed up against the banister of the second floor. 

There’s a little laugh audible in Jisung’s voice as he starts to recite his number and Yunho’s momentarily caught up in the cuteness of the laugh before he realizes he should be writing it down, and then he panics that he doesn’t have a piece of paper until he remembers several beats later that he can still stay on the call while typing in the number into his phone. Yunho drags a hand down his red face, muffling an embarrassed groan into his shoulder.

This was humiliating. But at the very least, Yunho’s heart is pounding hopefully in his chest. He has Jisung’s number. Jisung confirmed that he was single. Does that mean…

Yunho trips over his words when Jisung sings a goodbye at him and hangs up before he can make an even bigger fool of himself.

It takes him until the evening to type out a simple message to Jisung and sets it face down onto the counter as he waits, deciding that he’ll start making some ramyeon for dinner. His phone buzzes and Yunho lunges across the counter to grab it.

yunho:
hi! it’s yunho :) 

jisung:
hello yunho! ^^
what are you up to?

yunho:
i’m making some dinner! what about you?

jisung:
:o
be careful and don’t start a fire
i’m about to go to the dining hall with san and the others!

yunho:
hey! i’m just boiling water for my ramen :( i’m not THAT bad

jisung:
sannie-hyung says that you’ve burn a pot of boiling water

yunho:
tell sunny that i’m no longer his best friend

jisung:
san says to tell him that to his face

yunho:
booooo

jisung:
you’re cute

yunho:
oh
i mean
haha
not as cute as you

Yunho groans, resisting the urge to just bang his head into the counter. To be fair, he’s never flirted with anyone before. He sort of feels like he’s flailing around right now in the deep end of the pool which is a strange analogy his brain provides him with, because he’s a pretty decent swimmer. 

He sets his phone down and goes to start the electric kettle, taking out his preferred ramen and a boiled egg from the fridge that he works on shelling as the water boils. He does a pretty miserable job at it and places the egg on a small plate that he adds kimchi too, pouring the water into his ramen bowl and seals the cover of it with the bottom of the kettle before he pads back over to his phone.

jisung:
you’re ridiculous. but in the best way possible. it’s endearing ^-^
i have to go eat now, but if you want to talk more, i’ll be available in a couple hours?

yunho:
okay! enjoy your meal :)
and i would like that. i don’t have any plans tonight

jisung:
sounds good! i’ll talk to you soon, then

yunho:
okay!

Later that night, Yunho ends up falling asleep texting Jisung with a huge and goofy smile on his face, heart fluttering when he sees the sleep well, yunho♡ text from Jisung in the morning.