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By the time Kalim had gotten back from the complete rager of a Halloween party that Malleus had thrown, his mouth was sore from all of the smiling he had done.
“That was incredible!” He whooped, earning tired cheers from his dorm-mates. “Malleus sure knows how to throw a party,” he remarked, and Jamil sighed from his side, wrapping his rough hand around Kalim’s wrist.
“Yes, it’s to be expected of the heir of Briar Valley, I suppose,” he murmured, tugging Kalim towards his room. “Come, you need rest,” he ordered gently. Kalim sighed heavily, his head dropping dramatically.
“Awh, do I have to?! They canceled classes ‘cause of the ‘extenuating circumstances’, and I’m too wound up to sleep,” he protested. "I could party all night long if I really wanted to!!" Jamil shook his head, pulling him along without sparing a single glance to his protest.
“We have to clean up the decorations tomorrow, if you recall,” he said evenly, as logical as always. Kalim pouted, obeying him nonetheless. He was Jamil, and Jamil always knew what was best for him. Even if things were a little tense lately, trusting him was simply the default.
“I still think it’s awful rude of the headmage to make us clean up,” he lamented a minute later, stepping into his large and comfortable room. Despite his energy and his resistance towards letting the night end, the warmth of the room was familiar and incredibly comfortable. He almost immediately began to strip out of his Halloween costume, discarding his clothes haphazardly on the floor. Jamil sighed heavily, stepping behind him and picking them up.
“It’s like you don’t hear the irony,” he muttered, folding Kalim’s clothes neatly and dropping them in his laundry basket. He laid the ears, tail, and scarf on the desk that Kalim never used, stacking neatly as if he would be using them tomorrow. “In case you forgot, cleaning up after the Halloween showcase is a time-honored tradition of-”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” He waved his hand vaguely at Jamil as if to dismiss him, focusing hard on pulling a soft sleeping shirt on. This was the part he always had trouble with; dressing himself was still generally new to him, and he usually got his arms stuck at some point, though he had finally figured out pants. This time was no exception, and as usual, Jamil could only handle so much grunting and flailing before stepping in and impatiently pulling his shirt down the correct way. Kalim smiled at him sheepishly, his cheeks tinged nearly as red as his shirt. “Thanks!” He said jovially, trying to move past it. Jamil just sighed, shaking his head.
“At least you’re trying,” he muttered, frustration evident. Kalim couldn’t help but feel a little guilty; all he wanted was to be Jamil’s friend, but it was apparent that he still wasn’t self-sufficient enough to be less of a thorn in his side. Kalim sank into his bed, crossing his legs in front of him. Despite the help from Jamil, he couldn’t help but feel a little proud of mostly undressing and dressing himself. If he was capable of that, perhaps he could send Jamil back to his room at that moment instead of later. Perhaps that would make Jamil more forgiving of his mistakes! He smiled at Jamil, wiggling his fingers in a goodbye gesture.
“You can go now,” he said brightly. Jamil frowned, scrutinizing Kalim’s face, which was still covered in makeup and faux henna.
“No,” he protested, reaching for the makeup wipes he usually used on Kalim. “You’re not ready for bed yet,” he said firmly, as stubborn as always. Kalim laughed, snatching the wipes from Jamil’s hands.
“I’ll handle this! You had such a long night, coming to my rescue like you did. Go get yourself ready for bed! You deserve it. After all, I owe a lot to you and Silver!” At the mention of his boyfriend, he felt his heart flutter a little bit. Silver had really had his moment in the spotlight that night. It was a little distracting how well he had done, fighting fiercely and coming to the rescue of anyone he could find. He had even held Kalim’s hand for part of the journey, supporting him physically and mentally as they traversed the spectral realm post-possessions. It was dreamy, really! He had lucked out with such a spectacular boyfriend. He could feel a dumb smile spread across his face as he plucked a wipe from the package; he should call Silver before he went to bed. He hadn’t gotten to talk to him much at the party, and he wanted to properly thank him his way, laced with compliments and flirty remarks. It was the kind of thing Silver begged him not to do when anyone else was around. He glanced up at Jamil, about to chide him for sticking around, when he saw the sour look on his face. He paused, the wipe frozen near his face. “What? Did I say something?” He asked, concerned that he had somehow offended Jamil in his hastiness to send him home. Jamil sighed, shaking his head.
“No, it’s Silver,” he murmured, raising a hand to his chin in concentration. “He was acting odd at the party, much mopier than I had ever seen him…” Kalim felt his heart squeeze suddenly, and he leaned forward, frowning.
“He was moping? Why?” He hadn’t noticed any moping from Silver. Come to think of it, he really hadn’t seen much of Silver at the party. It had been a haze, both of them record-breakingly overstimulated in different ways. Kalim thrived off of the different smells, sounds, and lights, feeling like the spontaneous party added multiple years onto his lifespan. Silver, on the other hand, had remarked that the party would be more fun with earplugs. Regardless of their preferences, they had danced together for a while, and Kalim had snuck in a couple of kisses from a secluded spot on the dance floor. Silver broke away in favor of a quieter corner after a few songs, and he had left Kalim with a kiss, promising to catch up with him soon. He realized with a pang that Silver had never returned, and he had never sought him out.
“Well, he spent a while venting to Cater, and I was there too,” Jamil supplemented, his face scrunched up thoughtfully. “I don’t know what was running through his head, but…he seemed concerned about losing friendships. I honestly don’t know why that’s a present worry of his, but he seemed exceedingly torn up about it. It was strange…it was like he had never thought about whether his friendships would someday end, whether he likes it or not.” He shrugged, leaning against the doorway. “I don’t know why it hit him tonight, when he was the man of the hour. But you know Silver. He rarely makes sense. Besides,” he added upon seeing Kalim’s deep frown, “I’m sure he’ll tell you the whole story tomorrow.” Jamil’s words did have a certain air of truth to them; Silver and Kalim often talked all throughout the day, passing notes in class and sharing meals, not to mention their occasional dates after school. It was practically part of their daily routine to confide in each other; Kalim was sure Silver would open up about what was bothering him eventually, but at the same time, a bad feeling was lurking in his gut.
“I’m sure you’re right,” he said, forcing a smile. “Thanks for letting me know.” He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to compose himself. “Seriously, get out of here before I fire you,” he teased, albeit half-heartedly. Jamil smirked, turning to leave Kalim’s room.
“I should be so lucky,” he said softly, sliding the door shut behind him.
Once he was alone, Kalim’s imagination was allowed to go wild. What could possibly be bothering Silver? He thought about it as he clumsily removed his eyeshadow, nearly hurting his eye in the process. Every painful movement was accompanied by an increasingly outlandish thought about Silver; had Kalim stepped on his feet while they danced? Had somebody tried to diminish his victory? Did somebody make him out to be the villain instead of the hero? He sighed in frustration, equally fed up with the uncertainty and the makeup troubles. He wished he could do it as gently as Jamil did. Actually, he wished he had kept Jamil around. He was always efficient at distracting Kalim in moments like this. He screwed his face up in concentration as he tried to remove the henna lining his face, scrubbing hard to no avail. He cursed under his breath, tossing the makeup wipe into his trash can. It should have come off; he vaguely remembered Jamil telling him that it wasn’t real henna, so why wouldn’t it budge? Did he need a special potion or something? He sighed heavily, giving up and tumbling into his bed. As comfortable as it was, he was restless, turning and shifting constantly. Why hadn’t Silver come to him with his problem? Furthermore, why hadn’t Kalim picked up on his pain? Oh god, was he a terrible boyfriend? The thought made his face scrunch up in worry, and he sat up, deliberating on what he should do. Logically, he should just sleep. Knowing Silver, he was probably asleep, especially after such a long and taxing night. There was no point in checking on him, but if he was being honest with himself, logic was almost never a factor in his plans. He was an impulsive, emotional person, and in that moment, the idea of his boyfriend being in distress was making him crazy. Before he could think too hard about it, he hopped off his bed, leaning down to rummage through his belongings.
“Hey,” he whispered, trying to call his carpet to him. He heard something shift in response, and he glanced up, smiling as he saw it unrolling itself in the corner of his room. “There you are!” He smiled, running over to it. “I need you. We’re gonna go on a little trip to the Diasomnia dorm; think you can handle that?” The carpet swiftly laid itself on the floor, wiggling its tassels in affirmation, and he grinned. “Thank you!! I always knew I could count on you!” He hopped onto it without a second thought, crouching on his knees like he always did. He reached forward to grab the front tassels, and he yanked up on them, the carpet jolting upwards in response. “Here we go,” he muttered, guiding the carpet out through his balcony like he had done a million times before, determination set on his face.
It wasn’t a long journey, but when he was this antsy, the trip felt eternal. When he finally arrived at the Diasomnia dorm, he hovered for a moment, trying to remember which room was Silver’s. He knew it was on the fourth floor, but from the outside they all looked the same!
“Oh geez,” he muttered after his third lap around the building. At that point, he was almost ready to call it quits and go bang on the front door until Lilia let him in. Sure, he would have questions about why Kalim was outside the Diasomnia dorm at 5am, but he was good at talking himself out of situations! At the very least, he could distract Lilia and dash past him. He started to tug on the tassels, begrudgingly accepting that he wouldn’t find Silver’s room, but the carpet resisted, yanking Kalim in a different direction. Kalim yelped in surprise, nearly tumbling off it. When he regained his balance, he saw that the carpet had noticed something he hadn’t; a window was propped open haphazardly, like the owner had forgotten to close it. There were already several bluebirds congregating in the trees below, and Kalim grinned.
“Bingo!” He patted the carpet fondly, urging it forward. “Good job remembering,” he praised the carpet, whizzing towards the window. Their reckless speed caused the birds below Silver’s window to caw in surprise, abruptly bursting into flight. “Sorry,” he whispered loudly as he skidded to a stop at Silver’s window. He grabbed the stone ledge, pulling himself up onto the ledge. It wasn’t an easy process, but the carpet bunched itself up to offer him aid in the form of a makeshift step, which did a world of good for him. He scrambled onto the windowsill, nearly toppling into Silver’s room due to his clumsy nature. He caught his balance at the last moment, and he leaned over, smiling gratefully at the carpet. “I’ll be back soon,” he promised the carpet. It drifted down towards the grass, a silent response that it understood. This wasn’t their first excursion to Silver’s room; it knew the drill, which was reassuring. He slipped down from the ledge, his feet making a soft thud as he landed. He winced, looking around cautiously. Thankfully, the room seemed empty, save for a big person-shaped lump in Silver’s bed. He already felt relieved, just seeing that Silver was safe in his own bed. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but if Jamil was worried, things usually had to be pretty significant. Who knows, maybe he was just soft for Silver. He kicked off his sandals at the window, proceeding to tiptoe towards Silver as quietly as he could. Unfortunately for him, he had never been very stealthy. He only made it halfway across the room before Silver sat up abruptly, rubbing his eyes and squinting at Kalim.
“Kalim?” His voice was hoarse and sleepy, and Kalim felt his heart melt. His morning voice had always been absolutely adorable, although this didn’t seem like the time to harp on that.
“Yeah, it’s me,” he whispered sheepishly. “How’d you know?” Silver frowned at him, his eyes uncharacteristically blank as he took in the scene.
“Who else tumbles in my window at 5am?” Despite how exhausted he sounded, Kalim could hear a twinge of affection in his voice. Kalim smiled, forgoing an answer to jump into Silver’s bed. Silver grunted as he did so, but he didn’t protest.
“Sorry,” Kalim said softly, still smiling. “I couldn’t sleep, and it’s your fault, by the way,” he said matter-of-factly. Silver blinked, cocking his head sideways.
“Mine? Why?” He looked so adorably confused, and Kalim couldn’t help but reach up and caress his face gently.
“Because! You didn’t come find me after we danced together, and I was…” he paused, thinking about it. It seemed silly to say he was worried; he hadn’t witnessed anything concerning from Silver. He was operating only on what Jamil had vaguely mentioned. “...I was missing you,” he said after a moment, pinching Silver’s cheek affectionately. Silver’s face darkened, and he blushed, looking down.
“Oh,” he said. “I’m sorry for not spending more time with you. I…I had a long night,” he said self-consciously. Kalim nodded sympathetically, scooting closer to Silver.
“Wanna tell me about it?” He watched Silver closely as he thought for a moment, before sighing heavily.
“Yeah,” he said after a moment, blinking hard. He took a long, deep breath, working himself up to the point where he could talk about it. Kalim had noticed that he always did this; he really had a hard time being vulnerable. “Things were fine at first, of course,” he murmured, beginning his story. “It was nice to spend time with you, especially after the possession scare,” he said pointedly. Kalim laughed sharply.
“Man, that’s a sentence I never thought you’d say! Sorry about that, by the way,” he said sheepishly. Silver shrugged.
“You didn’t do anything to invite a possession, don’t worry about it. It was just good to see that you were safe. And of course, I had ample time to dance with Lilia and Malleus, and even Sebek. I ate good food, I chatted with some ghosts but…something felt extremely off.” He swallowed hard, pain evident in his face. “Going toe to toe with Lilia was more challenging than I would have thought. It made me wonder if I really am as close to him as I’ve always hoped. He’s changing, and I am too. ...I suppose what I’m trying to say is…I came to the realization tonight that…relationships aren’t as lasting or as fixed as I had always hoped they were.” He paused for a moment, struggling to come up with the words he wanted to use, another common struggle with his venting. “Cater and I talked, and he told me that relationships usually end with no notice. The thought of that terrifies me. I always thought that when people connected, it would be…more special than it is.” He frowned, reaching down to pick at his nails. They were still painted red, but they looked as if they had bitten down. “I was so scared, going up against Lilia. It was like a nightmare scenario, made just for me. It got me thinking, if we crossed paths like this again, as enemies…what would I do? What would that be like, to be betrayed by someone I care so deeply for? Years of loyalty, severed… I would be completely, utterly alone.” His head dropped, tears welling up in his eyes. Kalim reached out to him, wrapping a hand around his shoulder and bringing him to rest on his chest. He was met with no resistance as Silver sank into him, taking a deep, shuddering breath.
“You know,” Kalim said gently, “I don’t think Lilia would ever betray any of us, let alone you.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Silver’s head, smoothing his hair down. “Tonight was scary, but it was also an act! Lilia wouldn’t ever act like that, like, for real,” he said confidently. Silver sighed against his chest, not opening his eyes.
“It’s not just that,” he said miserably. Kalim hummed reassuringly, continuing to smooth his hair. He felt more confident if he had something to do with his hands.
“Well, tell me about it, then,” he said kindly. Silver swallowed hard, breaking away from his chest. He looked so miserable, it just about broke Kalim’s heart on the spot.
“I thought a lot about relationships, and how all sorts of them just…end. I had never thought about any of that before. I had never needed to. But now, I have all these relationships I have that I love. Jamil and I are friends, right? Will we talk after we graduate? What about Jade? How will we stay in contact when he returns to the coral sea? I don’t want to be isolated like I used to be,” he said emphatically. “I have friends now, and I can’t let that go. Kalim… I thought about us, too.” He looked Kalim in the eyes, bleary-eyed and truly depressing to see. “We’re not going to last forever either, are we.” It was phrased like a question, but Silver’s tone gave it the weight of a statement, one he had already accepted. Kalim felt his stomach drop, and he shook his head emphatically, reaching out to take Silver’s hand.
“Don’t say something like that,” he said quickly, squeezing Silver’s limp hand. “Neither of us know, right?” Silver nodded, tears welling up again.
“That’s the problem,” he said adamantly, a single tear rolling down his cheek. The sight broke Kalim’s heart.
“Silver, I can’t see the future,” he said gently, reaching up to brush the tear away from his cheek. “Very few mages can, actually! But even if I could, I don’t know if I would look into our relationship,” he admitted. Silver frowned, his eyebrows furrowing together.
“...Why?” His voice was still hoarse, and he cleared his throat, trying to sound more composed. “Don’t you want to know? Does it not bother you, to think that we…” He trailed off, not having the composure to finish the sentence. Kalim smiled at him tenderly, gripping his hand like he was afraid Silver would float away if he let go.
“The spontaneity is what makes it fun,” he said simply, honestly. “You’re right that we don’t know the future, and, as much as I hate to say it, most first relationships don’t last. But,” he added, scooting in towards Silver and pressing their foreheads together, “When have we ever been normal, hmm?” He pulled back slightly, kissing Silver’s forehead. Silver closed his eyes, exhaling slowly.
“I suppose extenuating circumstances are normal for us,” he admitted. "It is kind of a crazy coincidence that we met in the first place, considering you never applied here, and I'm not exactly the ideal Night Raven College student either," he said slowly, and Kalim nodded.
“Exactly! Seriously Silver, I would be a massive idiot to let you go. You are one of the only people here that I can trust, really trust. And, let me put it this way, we’re not having problems right now. I trust you, and I think you’re amazing, and I am so crazy and insanely in love with you. I have been for almost a year!” He poked Silver’s chest playfully. “Listen to your heart. Is it the same for you?” Kalim held his gaze as Silver thought for a moment.
“...Yes,” he admitted, clarity dawning on him. “Oh, am I catastrophizing again?” He asked, blushing. Kalim nodded, a tiny smile playing on his lips.
“I’d say so,” he said. “Can I ask what advice Cater gave you?” There was a moment of pained silence, and Silver sighed.
“...to live in the moment and not overthink how things will end,” he said begrudgingly, and Kalim laughed.
“I couldn’t have said it better myself! Look, I’m not gonna lie, Silver; relationships are scary. All kinds are! I don't think I've ever lost an important relationship. I never had this many friends either, you know. And it scares me, it does! But the way I see it is, I could mope about it, or worry and cry, or I could think to myself, wow. I have amazing relationships right now,” he said, uncharacteristically wisely. “Loss is part of life,” he continued. “But losing me is the last thing I think you should worry about!” Silver met Kalim’s eyes for the first time in several minutes, a new sense of hope twinkling dimly in them.
“You really think…?”
“Yes,” Kalim said immediately. “Yes, yes, yes.” He punctuated each ‘yes’ with a soft, warm kiss somewhere on Silver’s face, and Silver scrunched his face up, smiling faintly in spite of himself. “I love you,” he said earnestly, pressing his free hand against his heart. “And I mean it when I say it. I don’t know where our paths will take us, but…between you and me, I would do just about anything to keep you with me.” A smile twinged on his lips, a devilish look on his face. “Can I say something cheesy?” He asked eagerly. Silver nodded, wiping the remaining tears from his eyes.
“As long as you don’t make fun of me for this lapse in rationale,” he muttered, taking a deep breathe and shaking off the rest of his sadness. “God, I swear I was fine after I talked to Cater, but then the exhaustion caught up to me and it all came rushing back when you asked if I was OK…which is embarass-” Kalim threw his arms around Silver tightly, knocking the air out of him with a surprised grunt. It might be rude to cut Silver off in the middle of a sentence, but he knew how Silver worked. If he started being harsh on himself, he wouldn’t stop for a while. It was best to cure it at the source the way he did it best.
“I love you more than I love dancing,” he crooned unashamedly loudly, squeezing Silver to his chest, rocking him around playfully. “I love you more than I love coconut juice! I love you more than I love my carpet!” Silver shushed him, squeezing him back tightly nevertheless.
“Are you sure about that last one?” He asked, hardly able to keep a straight face. “I think it can probably hear you from here.”
“I don’t care,” Kalim said breathlessly, leaning backwards. “I love him more than I love you,” he shouted towards the window, erupting into a fit of giggles when Silver clapped a hand over his mouth, accidentally shoving him into the bed with the force.
“Be quiet,” he hissed, pressing his hand against Kalim’s mouth. He writhed against Silver, but Silver straddled him, refusing to budge until he quieted down. “Are you done yet?” He asked when the giggling stopped, and Kalim nodded, his eyes twinkling. For Silver’s tough demeanor, there was still a small smile on his lips, which indicated Kalim’s success.
“You’re smiling,” He said sweetly, and Silver sighed, nodding.
“I still don’t know how you do this to me,” he said, shaking his head in bewilderment. “All that training, and you can crumble my demeanor in minutes…I bet my father would weep if he saw how weak I’ve become to you,” Silver said fondly. Kalim grinned, tugging Silver down to him.
“Or maybe he’d say, ‘Awh, good for my son, true love is so neat!’” He slipped his hands in Silver’s hair, studying his face closely. He recognized the blank look that was beginning to settle on Silver’s beautiful, strong face. He sighed, eyeing him suspiciously. “Be honest, are you tired right now?”
“Exhausted,” he said, honest to a fault. Kalim smiled, kissing his nose gently as he cradled his face in his hands.
“Should I stay?” He asked, already knowing the answer. Sure enough, Silver nodded in the needy way he usually did when he was tired and craving affection. He dropped on top of Kalim without saying a word, practically crushing him with his full weight and knocking the air out of Kalim's lungs. “Jeez, cut back on the risotto,” he wheezed, still smiling in spite of it. Silver grunted, shifting around to get comfortable.
“Nonsense,” he muttered, settling into the crook of Kalim’s neck. “It’s all muscle.” Kalim smiled, patting him on the arm.
“And how lucky am I, to have such a strong and capable boyfriend! It’s nice when you’re a damsel like I am,” he remarked. He wrapped Silver in his lean arms, squeezing him close.
“Kalim?” Silver’s voice was soft, hesitant.
“Hmm?” Kalim asked, running his fingers through Silver's hair. Silver hesitated for a moment, looking up at Kalim blearily.
“You really meant it, right?” He still sounded tender, vulnerable in spite of the laughter they had shared. Kalim nodded eagerly, looking down at him with a lopsided smile.
“Every word,” he reassured. “As long as you’ll have me, I’ll figure something out. I don’t care if I have to cross the whole world just to get to Briar Valley,” he said boldly, running his fingers across Silver’s spine soothingly. “There’s no point in owning a magic carpet if I don’t use it!” He remarked. Silver hummed in response, nuzzling further into him.
“I want you with me,” he whispered into Kalim’s ear, melting his heart with a pleasant tingle. “I think having you around…it might make other more inevitable losses hurt less. As long as we can still stand each other, anyway…” Kalim grinned, attacking his face with kisses.
“We’ll always be on good terms,” he said teasingly, planting a firm kiss on his forehead. Silver shook his head slightly.
“Big promise,” he murmured, and Kalim nodded proudly.
“Good! The size of my promises is directly proportional to how genuine they are.” His optimism made Silver smile, and he leaned up to kiss Kalim properly. When he saw Kalim’s face again, he squinted at him analytically.
“Oh yeah…what’s with the henna?” He pointed at Kalim’s cheek, and Kalim groaned, tossing his head back into Silver’s pillow.
“Oh no, I totally forgot!” He bit his lip nervously. “I took off my makeup on my own, and I couldn’t figure out this stupid henna. Jamil said something about how we could take it off when Halloween ended, but I don’t know if he meant with magic, or soap…” He sighed heavily. “I hope this won’t stain your pillows…” He regretted ever telling Jamil he could do it on his own. When Jamil saw his stained face later, he would surely never let that go. To his relief, Silver simply smiled tenderly, kissing the side of his face gently.
“Sheets can be washed,” he said, promptly tucking his head in with Kalim and dozing off with impressive speed.
The sun rose fully not too long after Silver dozed off, not that Kalim was too bothered about it. Everyone had only gone to bed a few hours prior; surely everyone was so tired that they would be allowed to sleep in later than usual. It was reassuring to have Silver nestled on top of him, slowly soothing him into the blissful, familiar feeling of sleeping comfortably with someone he trusted. Perhaps it hadn’t been the best idea to promise Silver such intense love; he had been pretty sure it would help to validate him, but he couldn’t help but wonder if his incessant optimism just made things messier. But at the same time, wasn’t that why Silver loved him in the first place? Wasn’t he an appealing lover because of his intense passion and dedication? Silver certainly seemed happiest when Kalim was doing what he thought was best for them; he loved making Silver happy. Seeing him laugh was the ultimate reward, and kissing him was somehow even more heavenly. Being with him was addictive enough that he wanted to do it every day, no matter how tiring it could get to fit Silver into his schedule. He wanted to make him happier than he had ever been. He wanted to work hard to provide Silver with the comfort that while some relationships would come and go, he was there for good, no matter what that meant for them. He loved Silver, really and truly, and more than he had ever loved anyone else. If true loneliness was what Silver feared, Kalim would do anything to ensure that Silver would never see his fears come true. He hoped he could always be the stability Silver needed in his life, a soft place to land when he was utterly frustrated with the rest of the world. He hoped to always be there, just waiting for Silver to lean on him whenever necessary.
Kalim drifted off to sleep thinking about two things; one, how nice it would feel to wake up with Silver in the morning, to be able to kiss him awake until he was putty in his hands, soft and receptive to every gesture of Kalim’s. And two, how much groveling he would have to do to get his magical carpet to forgive him for the hasty comment he had made. ...At least Silver’s smile was worth it.