Chapter Text
Sasuke’s eyes snapped open as his body involuntarily flinched. He waited for things to come into focus as the sudden sense of vertigo dissipated, but when the darkness didn’t fade away, he realized the sun had yet to come up. He brought a hand up to rub the sleep from his eyes and felt the thin layer of sweat on his forehead. He must have been dreaming again. As was often the case, he couldn’t remember what it was about, but his body always seemed to know from the way he tended to jolt awake in a cold sweat or shake uncontrollably. He slowly sat up, bringing his clammy hand up to his head again once he was fully upright, and looked around the room. The gentle glow of the moon peeked in through the windows and he could see the outlines of the furniture. The room itself was rather bare and devoid of any kind of personality. Sasuke had yet to make an effort to decorate or “liven up the place” as his old teammates had put it. He didn’t see the point.
Upon returning to the village after everything that had happened, he found it impossible to call this place home. His actual home at the Uchiha compound had been reduced to nothing but rubble in the time that he’d been away during the attack on the village and it was one of the places that had simply not been rebuilt afterwards. Not that Sasuke cared much, after all what good was such a large compound for one person? His old team had been quick to try to acclimate him back to the village, but it had been difficult. This new place, for one, was too close to everything and felt so noisy. He missed being on the outskirts of town in a more private area. They assured him that he’d get used to it after a while, and though he didn’t exactly believe them, he tried to find ways to make it bearable for the time being.
He got up and made his way to the window to look out at the streets of the village. He didn’t know exactly what time it was, but he could tell it was early morning and that the sun would soon be rising and people would begin to emerge and start their days. He didn’t want to be here when that happened. The noise would surely agitate him. He drew the curtains closed and began to get dressed, opting to go for a walk rather than just wait around for the din. He glanced over to the flowers, fruit, and other miscellaneous items that Sakura, Kakashi, and Naruto had brought in an attempt to fill the apartment with color. But Sasuke hadn’t touched them at all and the flowers were now nothing but a sad wilted sight and the fruit was definitely past its prime and would need to be thrown out when he returned.
The brisk air hit him and was an abrasive change to the stagnant air in the apartment. He took a deep breath and began to walk towards the village gates where he could walk in peace away from everything. It was still dark by the time he arrived, but songbirds were already chirping and beginning to wake, signaling the quick approach of the sun. But as Sasuke weaved between trees and foliage, there was a different sound he picked up on. He followed the rhythmic hard thuds until he came upon a clearance that seemed to be in use as a training ground. He didn’t expect to see someone training so early in the morning and in the dark, but once he saw who it was, it made more sense. Rock Lee was poised in front of a large worn down tree doing high kicks. With each strike he counted out loud.
“Two hundred ninety-six, two hundred ninety-seven, two hundred ninety-eight, two hundred ninety-nine…”
Lee gave it a final hard kick and staggered back several steps to wipe the sweat off his brow. Sasuke couldn’t tell how long the other man had been out here, after all most people would be worn out and sweating after three hundred kicks like that, but Lee wasn’t most people. And for all he knew Lee could have already been out here for hours. Sasuke felt like he was intruding and turned to keep walking, but just as he was about to leave, Lee turned around and spotted him.
“Ah! Good morning, Sasuke!” He gave an enthusiastic wave and was already jogging over to him.
Sasuke lifted his hand and gave a polite wave of acknowledgement back. ‘Great,’ he thought to himself sarcastically. He’d left the village for some peace and quiet and instead had run into one of his loudest and most energetic peers. The only way this would have been more obnoxious was if he’d run into Naruto.
“Morning,” he responded flatly.
“Are you also getting an early start to your training?” Lee inquired cheerfully.
“No, I was just taking a walk.”
“Splendid! A perfect time to do so too.”
“Hm.” Sasuke nodded in agreement then quickly tried to find an out to the conversation. “I’ll get going then. I won’t interrupt you further.”
“Oh! You’re not interrupting at all! I was just finishing up and was going to cool down with some light laps around the village as the sun came up.”
Considering the size of the village, the fact that Lee had said laps, as in plural, made Sasuke wonder what an actual active run was like for Lee. The first hints of light were already beginning to crest the horizon and the surrounding forest was coming to life with the songs of more twittering birds. He watched as Lee began to unwrap his hands and wrists to adjust the bandages. He was just about to excuse himself and keep going but felt something inside him stop when he caught sight of Lee’s bare hands. They were ragged and covered in calluses and scars. His right hand in particular had ugly scarring that covered his entire hand and seemed to stretch up further but was covered by the long sleeve of his jumpsuit. Sasuke hadn’t been present for Lee’s fight with Gaara back in their genin days, but he had heard about it afterwards from his team.
Sasuke felt slight guilt for dismissing Lee so quickly. Even he had to admit that the other worked hard and had proven he was more than capable as a shinobi. Lee noticed Sasuke’s gaze and he put on a smile as he clenched and unclenched his hand a few times before wrapping it back up.
“It doesn’t hurt anymore, if that’s what you’re wondering. As a matter of fact, more often than not I don’t really feel anything at all.” He gave a laugh which caught Sasuke off guard.
“Nothing at all?”
It was Lee’s turn to be surprised by the question now. He blinked, trying to process that he was actually having a conversation with Sasuke Uchiha, but then his signature smile returned as he held his scarred hand in his good one and squeezed each individual digit.
“Well,” he corrected himself, “I do have some sensation in it. But I don’t really have much feeling in my fingers anymore. Those never fully healed.”
Sasuke was no medic but the hand was a very complicated piece of anatomy and it was no surprise that Lee would have sustained some nerve damage from such an injury.
“How funny.”
There was a moment of stunned silence between the two of them.
“Pardon?”
“I only meant I find it ironic that you still have your hand and don’t feel a thing,” Sasuke clarified, “and I don’t have mine yet still sometimes feel pain in a limb that doesn’t exist anymore.”
Lee’s eyes darted to where Sasuke’s left arm would have been and his expression lifted as he let out a soft ‘oh!’
“I suppose that is funny!”
There was another awkward pause as they both looked for what to say next. Lee beat Sasuke to it.
“Perhaps I can take it easy on my laps this morning! Would you mind if I join you on your walk?”
Sasuke frowned, turning his body away from Lee as if to keep moving along.
“I prefer to walk alone.”
Lee’s smile never left his face, even after being rejected. He nodded understandingly and struck a power pose, giving Sasuke a thumbs up.
“Very well! Perhaps next time then! I should finish up my training.”
Lee waved himself off, took off jogging, and was quickly out of sight. The interaction had ended much more painlessly than Sasuke had anticipated and he was left alone to finish his walk, though he stood there for a long time before he moved again. The whole point of him getting out was to avoid the reminder of people, and having that run-in made him wonder if perhaps it would have been better to just stay at home. He tried to shake the thought from his head and continued through the once again tranquil forest.
Sasuke did end up cutting his walk a bit short to avoid more unwanted encounters, opting to return to his apartment instead. His nose wrinkled at the putrid smell of neglected fruit wafting towards him and he took the opportunity to toss them and the flowers into the trash bin and take the garbage out. He returned inside to the dim space and sat in an uncomfortable armchair that was undoubtedly chosen by Sakura for its appearance rather than comfort. He could hear bustling outside as the town went about its day business as usual.
A sudden knock on the door jerked Sasuke awake. He sat up straight in the armchair trying to figure out when exactly he’d fallen asleep and what time it was. Having unintentionally fallen asleep, he felt disoriented and could feel the beginning thrum of a headache forming, which was only exacerbated by the incessant knocking. He got up with a groan, feeling his body ache from having slept awkwardly in the chair and trudged to the door. He opened it just enough to make out his visitors, glaring through the opening at Sakura and Naruto. They were the only ones who ever came, though sometimes they visited individually and other times they dragged Kakashi along.
“What,” he spat out.
“We were wondering if you’d wanna come out for ramen with us.” Naruto got straight to the point with a hopeful note in his voice.
“But it doesn’t have to be ramen,” Sakura added gently.
Sasuke simply stared at them for a moment, then began to close the door.
“No thanks.”
“Hey wait!” Naruto clumsily stuck his hand in the doorway, crying out when Sasuke crushed his fingers with the door. Sasuke scowled and opened the door fully to reprimand him.
“Idiot. Are you trying to lose your other hand too?”
Naruto merely pouted and rubbed his sore hand with his prosthetic one.
“Come on! You haven’t gone out with us since you came back to the village.”
“Get lost.”
“Sasuke,” Sakura chimed in, “we’re just worried about you.”
“I’m fine.”
“But-”
Sasuke closed the door on them, making a point to turn the deadbolt loudly. Both parties stood on either side of the door for a long moment. He could hear Naruto whisper angrily to Sakura and her muffled replies, but eventually their footsteps signaled to him that they’d finally left. He released a sigh and turned around, leaning back until his back was pressed against the door and he stared around the empty apartment. It was as desolate as the way he felt. Judging from the lighting in the room, he could guess that it was late afternoon and he felt frustrated with himself for having slept most of the day away. He also realized he hadn’t eaten at all, but the thought of going out to eat at a restaurant with them only made him nauseous.
Sasuke dragged his feet to the small kitchen area and began to make some rice. He had made the same meal or something similar just about every day for the past few weeks. Plain rice with maybe an egg, sometimes some meat, or some other source of protein. It didn’t matter. He wasn’t eating to enjoy it, he was simply eating because otherwise the hunger was annoying. It was late enough in the day that he could hear the activity in the streets pick up as civilians got off work, people went about to get dinner, children ran around trying to enjoy the last bit of sun before it got dark, and retired neighbors shuffled about on walks to catch up and gossip with one another. The sounds were grating on Sasuke’s ears and he decided to give going for a walk another go.
He cleaned up the dishes he’d used and set them on the drying rack, then slipped out, heading once again to a hopefully secluded area where he could clear his mind. To his great relief, he was able to walk for a while in solitude. He lost track of time and just kept walking as the sun began to sink in the sky and shadows stretched until they began to blanket everything. No sooner had Sasuke finally decided to head back, he heard the sound of running approaching in his direction. He looked up and saw none other than Lee again, jogging quickly, and at the exact moment that Sasuke saw him, Lee’s gaze also happened upon Sasuke and he lit up, changing course directly for him.
“Hello again,” Lee greeted happily. “We seem to have crossed paths once more!” Lee laughed heartily as he reached Sasuke but did not stop his movements. He continued to jog in place as he spoke. “Out for another walk?”
Sasuke nodded, watching Lee bob up and down and keeping his steady pace.
“I was just heading back. Do you ever take a break?” There was a slight bite to Sasuke’s tone, irritated that his walk had once again been interrupted. But Lee didn’t seem to notice the hint of hostility at all.
“I must stay in peak condition! I always start the day with a workout to get the blood flowing. Then regular training with my team and a specialized regimen from Gai-Sensei, then another light workout in the evening to unwind and prepare before bed.”
The routine seemed excessive to say the least, but it made Sasuke realize that he hadn’t trained at all since his return to the village. He felt his throat tighten up and he merely hummed in response, unable to find a proper way to reply.
“Do you usually go for walks around this time?”
Sasuke took a moment to reply, and the silence was beginning to get uncomfortable before he finally murmured, “not every night.”
“Ah!” Lee exclaimed as though he’d solved a puzzle. “That must be why we haven’t seen each other until now. I change up my routine and the location fairly often to not get too accustomed to it. What luck that now I’ve seen you twice in one day!”
‘Luck,’ thought Sasuke. That was one way to put it.
“If you’re heading back now, I shall accompany you!” Lee finally stopped his jogging and lifted his arm to wipe away his perspiration with his sleeve.
Sasuke clenched his jaw, reluctant but figuring it was just until they got back to the village gates.
“Fine,” he grumbled, and Lee’s eyes brightened at the unexpected acceptance.
“Onward then!” He beamed and stretched an arm out pointing in the direction of their destination. They had made it no more than about seven steps before Lee spoke again. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but you’ve been back several weeks now and no one has seen you around.”
Sasuke was immediately regretting the decision to walk together.
“So?”
“It’s just that Naruto was very excited about having you back and kept talking about having you join us on social outings.”
Sasuke felt a flash of anger surge through him and against his better judgment he snapped back, “I don’t know what fantasies Naruto had in his head about my return, but I don’t think everyone else is as excited to get particularly friendly with me after everything.”
Lee looked shocked by the comment, but as it sunk in, he was suddenly aware of the same awkwardness and discomfort that Sasuke felt. He thought back to not so long ago somber discussions of his peers all unanimously agreeing to kill Sasuke if they found him. Well, almost unanimous. Naruto was the only person who had never given up on Sasuke. Lee’s brow knit together as he thought back on the regretful decision. But it was different then. Things had changed. He looked back up at Sasuke earnestly.
“That’s all in the past now! I admit, I cannot speak for everyone else, but I trust Naruto’s judgment. And if he’s happy to have you back, then I’m happy as well! And I would love for you to join us sometime.”
Sasuke scoffed at the notion.
“I mean it,” Lee tried again. “It would be nice to get the chance to know you better, Sasuke.” He smiled at the other, but Sasuke just stared at him with the slightest hint of disdain.
“No thanks.”
Lee was not one to give up easily, or at all for that matter.
“It could be fun! The others are fond of going out to eat or to the bath house. But perhaps we could spar some time instead! It seems we’re both up early and are out and about at the same time of day. Why don’t you join me for some training?”
Sasuke loathed the idea of being in a crowded restaurant listening to Naruto jabber on and slurp ramen, and the bath house sounded like an equally upsetting time. But he did need to get back into his training routine. But that was something he preferred to do alone also.
“I don’t think you and I are on an equal level to spar.”
Lee pursed his lips, sensing the condescending tone in Sasuke’s words. It was true. Both Naruto and Sasuke had proven themselves to be on a completely different playing field during the war. But Lee swallowed down the insult and merely smiled.
“You underestimated me the first time too and lost.”
Sasuke clenched his jaw, biting back the spike of anger he felt, but he couldn’t justify the anger because he knew Lee was right, which only frustrated him more. His arrogance had made him run his mouth upon their first meeting and it had only ended with him humiliating himself in front of his team.
“I suppose now we part ways.”
Sasuke snapped out of his rumination and realized they’d reached the village gates. Lee stood there smiling and lifted a hand to wave goodbye.
“Until next time then?”
Sasuke hoped there wouldn’t be an unexpected next time.
“Sure.”
Lee grinned and began to turn to walk away, but stopped himself and turned back to Sasuke again.
“I sincerely meant it when I said I would like to spar! I look forward to our rematch.” Sasuke didn’t know Lee could manage to smile wider than he already was, but Lee proved it possible. “I want to show you how much I’ve improved as well!”
With that, Lee confidently turned on his heel and finally left.
Sasuke watched Lee go for a bit. He stood by the gates as Lee's words echoed in his mind and began to gnaw at him.
“Tch.”
He shook it off and continued home. It was dark now and most people had turned into their homes, save for a few couples and the general late night crowd that were just beginning their rounds in the bars and evening scene. Sasuke kept his eyes focused ahead and avoided looking anyone in the eyes as he walked. As he approached his apartment he caught sight of a bundle left in front of his door.
He got closer and stared down at what seemed to be a to-go container of ramen with some toppings packaged separate from the broth. No doubt Sakura and Naruto had returned to leave it for him. He scowled as he opened the door, bending in a smooth motion to pick up the bag and bring it in. Sasuke kicked the door closed behind him and stomped over to the counter where he set the container down, tore the top off, and poured it down the sink. The solid food he threw forcefully into the trash along with the packaging. He wrinkled his nose as the smell began to permeate the apartment, but couldn’t muster the energy to rinse the sink and instead he retreated to his bedroom, slamming the door to shut out the stench and collapse back into his bed after a long day.