Chapter Text
Osamu Dazai was having a better-than-average day. He might even go so far as to call it a good day! He’d had tenshinhan for breakfast, he’d taught Atsushi how to properly sneak food from the kitchen, and he had even managed to corral a miniature crown onto his brother’s partner’s raccoon! All in all, one would say, a fulfilling morning.
That nicer-than-usual feeling lasted right up until lunch, when his adoptive father very kindly decided to send him to an early grave via suffocation.
‘Ah, Osamu, there’s something I must discuss with you. His Majesty Mori, of Yokohama, has proposed a marriage between you and Prince Nakahara, whom I trust you are aware of. I’d like to- Osamu?’
Fukuzawa breaks off as Osamu starts choking on his chazuke.
Atsushi, bless him, thumps Osamu hard three times on the back, and prompts him to breathe as Osamu stares, dumbfounded, at his father. Two chairs over, Edogawa sits doubled over, cackling, and Akiko tries to hide her amusement with her hand. Wow, thanks for the unconditional support and affection, guys. Osamu glares at his siblings. Akiko stares back, amused. Osamu flips her off under the table. Akiko cackles.
‘Father, I.. Wait, was this your idea?? Why me?’ Osamu despairs. Fukuzawa looks at him, confused.
‘Not at all, this was all Mori’s idea, I do believe. And he specifically mentioned you, most likely because none of your siblings.. fit the bill, as it were,’ Fukuzawa says carefully.
That makes sense, Osamu muses. Edogawa already has a partner, Akiko wouldn’t date a man if she was paid to, and Atsushi is too young. But still! Letting his head drop into his hands, Osamu sighs.
‘Did Mori give you a reason for this? Or is Nakahara so unlikeable that his marriage must be arranged for him?’
‘Osamu, please. At least consider the offer? I can arrange for you to meet him next Sunday, if you would be willing.’
Osamu pouts but begrudgingly agrees, wolfing down the last of his lunch before heading to his bedroom to process everything, not to sulk, thank you very much, Akiko.
Said sister soon joins him, despite him not forgiving her for laughing at him earlier.
‘So, loverboy, how are we feeling about this engagement, hm?’ She smirks.
‘Who’re you calling loverboy, Akiko? I’ve seen portraits of him! He’s short, plus his hairstyle of choice confuses and frightens me,’ Osamu flops down dramatically onto his bed facefirst, before turning his head to send a glare in Akiko’s general direction.
‘You’re one to talk, you look like somebody dragged you through a bush. Backwards. Several times.’
Osamu puts on his best affronted expression. ‘Akiko! My hair is elegantly and delicately scruffy! It gives me a certain boyish charm,’ He explains indignantly.
She sits down on Osamu’s ornate desk chair and fixes him with her best unimpressed stare, and sighs.
‘Osamu, with all due respect, this may be your one and only chance to marry.’ For some reason, she pinches the bridge of her nose in exasperation. Hey! ‘Your flirting attempts thus far have been.. interesting, to say the least,’
‘Hey! What’s wrong with my flirting?!’
‘You ask women to die with you on the regular.’
‘Okay, and?’
‘..You don’t see.. a problem? With that?’
‘..No?’
‘..Wow, you are far more hopeless than I thought,’
———————-
Chuuya Nakahara was having a terrible, no-good, very bad day. It started with him being woken up by Elise’s complaining at some godforsaken hour of the morning, and only got worse when he realised he had a completely full schedule for the day. In fact, he didn’t even have time to have tea and chat with Kouyou as he usually did. What he did have was a full day of trade meetings and expenses reports and all the other boring shit he had to deal with as the Crown Prince of Yokohama.
His day only gets worse when his (adoptive) father, Mori Ougai, tells Chuuya that he’d found him a potential spouse over lunch. He words it like that, too, doesn’t even use the word ‘suitor’. Chuuya only stares at him for a few seconds before coming to his senses and asking, ‘Who did you have in mind?’
He loses all hope of his day getting any better when his father responds with none other than Prince Osamu Dazai, third in line to the Kawasaki throne. He’s never met the guy, but based on the pictures and portraits Chuuya has seen, he has a very.. punchable face.
His expression upon hearing the news must have been interesting, as Elise takes one look at his face and starts dying of laughter. Even Gin was trying to hold back a smile, while Ryuunosuke looks unimpressed as ever. Chuuya lets his head drop to land on the table. Why he calls these people his siblings, he may never know.
Later in the day, as Chuuya is working on some irrelevant paperwork, Mori approaches him with the news that the Kawasaki palace has extended an offer to meet with Prince Dazai in the Kawasaki palace, in two days. Chuuya accepts the offer with a sigh, and turns back to his reports. If it gets his father off his back, he’ll at least meet the man.
—————————
Sunday eventually rolls around, and Dazai is twitching uncomfortably in front of a full-length mirror, warily eyeing Akiko as she scrutinises his appearance.
‘..Surely this is too much, Akiko. I mean-’
‘Shut up, idiot,’ his sister interrupts, pointing at him in the mirror, ’You, sir, don’t have a fashion sense. You don’t get a say in what you wear.’
Osamu gasps, affronted, before realising that he hadn’t personally picked out a single outfit for anything of importance since he was a child. He thinks for a second, and stares at his sister, asking, ‘Akiko.. Have you been picking my outfits because you don’t like my style?’
Unphased, Akiko says, ‘Edogawa’s too. That man may be a genius but heaven forbid he picks out a waistcoat that matches his trousers.’
‘Doesn’t he have Poe to do that for him now, though?’
‘Mhm. I’m still stuck dressing your lazy ass, however, so I’m looking forward to today. Maybe this Nakahara man knows how to dress.’
‘Oh, woe betide you, having to suffer through choosing outfits for your younger brother! Truly, a life I would not even wish upon my worst enemy!’ Osamu drapes a hand across his forehead and leans back, pretending to faint. Beside him, Akiko flicks his head, snickering.
—————————
Chuuya gives himself a once-over in the mirror before deciding to switch his hat to one that matches his waistcoat, instead of his jacket. He looks to Gin, who nods in approval. She gives him a brief side hug, and tells him, ‘Please try to not bite the other prince’s head off immediately, brother.’
He smirks, and replies, ‘I’ll do my best, but no promises.’
Ryuunosuke stands from where he has been leaning against the wall. Chuuya waves to his sister, giving her a smile, and follows his brother through the halls of his father’s castle. Ryuu was a quiet kid, and that trait has carried over to semi-adulthood. The boy stays silent, so Chuuya decides to strike up a conversation.
‘What are your opinions on Prince Dazai, Ryuu?’ he asks.
His brother looks thoughtful for a moment, before responding, ‘I haven’t had the.. pleasure of meeting him, but he certainly seems a character.’
Chuuya huffs a laugh. ‘That’s one way to put it,’
They arrive at the front door shortly. Chuuya reaches up to ruffle his brother’s hair and watches him pause under his hand. Just like a cat, Chuuya thinks, smirking.
‘Bye, Ryuu. See you tomorrow.’
‘Farewell, brother. Travel safe.’
Chuuya steps out of the door.
—————————
‘Osamu.’
‘Hmm? What’s up, Edogawa?’
‘Are you going to accept the proposal?’ Edogawa turns to look at Osamu from where he’s sitting cross-legged on top of the grand piano, his hand stuffed in a bag of toffee. ‘’S definitely a good opportunity for international connections, you’d be marrying the Crown Prince of Yokohama. You’d become the King one day, even.’
Osamu sinks further into his plush armchair, staring at the ceiling. ‘You know I don’t care about being King, brother,’ he says, ‘The bit about connections, though.. Yokohama’s a powerful place, we’d essentially be granted immunity from any wars they may start. That’d make Father’s life easier, and yours, eventually.’
Edogawa snorts. ‘Me and Edgar aren’t becoming kings until we’re old and grey, Osamu, you know that! Father has a long time left, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was immortal or something.’
‘Ah, but you know everything, don’t you, Edogawa? Surely you already know what I am going to say to King Mori’s proposal, hmm?’ Osamu tilts his head towards his older brother. ‘Can I have a toffee?’
‘All I’ll say is that it would be in everyone in this castle’s best interests’ for you to marry Nakahara. And of course, here you go.’ the crown prince hops down from his perch to hand Osamu a sweet.
Edogawa’s head suddenly snaps towards the door. ‘Oh, here he is!’ he says. ‘I’ll take my leave then.’ Halfway through prancing out the door, he turns to Osamu and says, ‘Take what I said into account, will you? Have fun!’ And he leaves.
Osamu groans and sits up properly. The fancy suit that Akiko picked out for him rubs at his bandages and is generally very uncomfortable. Seriously, he thinks, how do people wear these things regularly? There’s no point to it. They don’t even look any good.
He’s broken out of his reverie by muffled voices coming into earshot- the royal advisor, Kunikida and someone he doesn’t recognise. Probably Nakahara. His suspicion is proved correct when the pair step into the drawing room, Nakahara thanking Kunikida for showing him the way. Kunikida bows slightly, and leaves.
Chuuya Nakahara, Crown Prince of the port nation Yokohama, looks at Osamu, and meets his eye.