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Illumi is lying in bed next to his younger brother. He should be asleep by now, he’s been trying very hard to be, but he finds himself so giddy at Killua’s return home that he lies awake, staring up at the ceiling.
“Kil.”
Killua lies still. He’s been sulking ever since Illumi brought him home, so Illumi figured he wouldn’t receive a response, but he’s disappointed nonetheless.
Illumi nudges his brother gently.
“Kil.” He says again.
Again, nothing.
“Kil, are you still angry with me?”
No response. Illumi grits his teeth and tries to remain civil.
“I only did what I had to do, Kil. I had to.”
Nothing. Illumi shakes his brother’s shoulders, hoping for any sort of reaction, any indication that Killua hears him.
“You were going to leave me behind, leave us behind. The family. I had to do it.”
Killua stays silent. He continues lying there, still as a corpse. He was stiff like one, too, for the first day or so, but he’s gotten a lot more pliant since then. Illumi hopes that’s a good sign, a sign that he’s readjusting to being back home properly, but it could just as easily be the opposite.
Illumi yanks him upright, crushing Killua to his chest forcefully. It must have hurt, but Killua didn’t show it. He’s always been such a brave boy. Illumi’s heart swells with love. He can feel his anger slipping away. He doesn’t bother to hold onto it, why would he? His brother is back home now, Killua is back home now, safe beside him and that’s all Illumi needs. And certainly all he cares to think about.
He cradles him now, holding Killua’s head against his breast like he used to when he was an infant. It’s a lot more difficult, considering how much bigger Killua is now. He speaks in a soft, soothing tone.
“But that doesn’t matter now, does it, Killu?” He buries his face into Killua’s hair and inhales deeply. The smell is unpleasant, filthy at this point, but Illumi doesn’t mind.
“We’re together now, you and I. That’s the important thing here, isn’t it?”
He waits. Killua stays silent.
“Isn’t it?”
He sighs. He expected readjusting to life at home would be difficult for his little brother, but not this much. Kil hasn’t said a word to him, to anyone, since he returned home. Illumi tries not to let on how much it hurts his feelings.
He holds Killua tighter. He feels something give, but Killua doesn’t relent, so he doesn’t either.
“Stay quiet all you want, but you’re never getting out of here, Kil, never again. I’ll never let you go.” What started off as a furious threat turns to a joyful exclamation.
“I just can’t stay mad at you, can I?” He says, finally loosening his grip. He tilts Killua’s chin upward easily, and presses a kiss to his swollen lips.
The taste is disgusting. Illumi supposes that’s what happens when you do nothing but lie in bed for days on end.
“I love you.” He says, laying Killua’s head against his chest once more.
Predictably, Killua doesn’t return it. That’s okay. Illumi knows that Killua loves him, even if he’s frustrated with Illumi right now, they’ll make up. Killua will get used to this eventually.
He runs a hand through Killua’s hair fondly, several strands coming away as he brushes his hand gently over Killua’s scalp.
They have all the time in the world, after all.