Chapter Text
“Who’s baby is this?” Jean called across his shoulder. He had volunteered to work in the garden section because it was practically dead in winter but when he had entered it was as empty as he had expected; except for a small (maybe 10 months. He didn’t know really, he didn’t know shit about babies.) baby with Cheeto dust all over its face and fingers and was now working on consuming the bag.
“Hey, give me that.” Jean tried pulling the bag out of the baby's hands without hurting its mouth but the baby only held on tighter and the bag went deeper into its mouth. “Shit! Shit! Shit!”
He grabbed the babies cheeks and pried out the bright orange bag as he had done so many times to his dog growing up when it tried stealing human foods or eating garbage.
Quickly he brought his walkie to his face.“Floor manager, your assistance is needed in home and garden.” He said into the mic.
He received static at first and finally a quick reply,“I’m with a customer.” She sounded annoyed. She was typically annoyed by him. But this really was serious this time.
The baby began to wail and grab up at the air for its stolen Cheeto bag.“It’s urgent.Code red.” There was no such thing as code red, it was basically what they said so then the customers would think that the situation was urgent and not get too huffy about being abandoned on their quest to find the perfect toothbrush.
“On my way.” MIkasa said in her usual serious tone. “Wait is that a baby crying?”
“Just hurry.”
10 minutes later she was power walking into home and garden and in a moment she spotted Jean awkwardly trying to keep a baby from falling from a piece of outdoor furniture.
“Not again.” She sighed.
“Again?” Why the fuck had Jean even applied to Cloud Nine?? J
She informed him that this was the third one this month. He checked his phone for the date, it was barely the 10th of the month.
In that way of hers she quickly instructed him on the protocol in this sort of situation. He would know it like the back of his hand once he’s settled. For anyone else they would have played it as a joke but the Floor manager didn’t joke. She barely smiled really. But still he loved it on the rare occasion when she did. Usually it was at his expense and mocking like when he knocked down the toilet paper and especially when she said “I told you so.” or “Don’t think you know more than me, Newbie.” It was pretty none-the-less.
“Okay I’ll let you take care of it. You got this.” She clapped his back and gave him the work smile.
“W-what? You want me to handle this but I’m new!”
She sized him up for a moment, tipping her head back and even going as far as squinting. He couldn’t remember being so self conscious in a long time.
“Do you not know how to pick up a baby ?” She was smiling again.
“Of course I know how to pick up a baby. I'm 28 years old.” He did in theory. He had seen friends and family hold babies also on T.V.
“Then pick it up.” She pointed at the little stinker on the outdoor sofa who seemed content watching their back and forth.
“No.”
“Because you can't.” She snorted.
“No, because well look at the little thing it's covered in Cheeto dust and I'm wearing my new special vest with my cloud tie that Hange specifically said to keep clean.” He huffed.
“You can get a new one. Hange has a whole box full.”
“Really why is th-”
“Jean pick up the damn baby and take it to Levi's desk so he can make an announcement.”
“No way-”
“Because you can’t hold a baby.”
“Because I’m concerned what leaving them with Levi would do to their little psyche and LOOK! It's already giving me the stink eye because I stole its choking hazard! Imagine the damage I could do by picking it up.”
They stared at one another for a while.
“It's a human child not a baby bird.”Mikasa sighed.
“Imagine the years of therapy.”
“Fine. But you come too.” She ordered.
“But I need to water the plants.”
“No, I need to take you to Levi so he could let your mommy know where to find you.” She gave an exaggerated pout as she took the baby in her arms.
“That’s not even original! Because I’m a big baby?.”
Mikasa was already leaving with the baby expertly balanced on her hip. “I’m over this conversation and next time you need to handle it yourself.”
“Next time?!” Hopefully he would find something better before there was a next time.
“Yeah, get used to it, Newbie!” She said in the fake voice she used with customers.
He followed right at her heel. The belligerent baby was now as happy as a clam by the time they got to Levi’s desk.
“See you're good at this.” Jean insisted.
She shot him a dirty look.
“Yeah she has a way with brats. It’s probably that mothers touch of hers.” Levi said offhandly as he scanned some returns.
“Huh? You're a mom?!”
“Yeah.” She shrugged as she bounced the little one on her knee. Hadn’t she said she was busy? He kept that thought to himself.
“Wow! I didn’t know it’s just your so young. That's amazing Congratulations.I had no clue you had a baby.” He blathered on.
“She's 9 actually. But thank you for congratulating my teen pregnancy. I wish you were there when I had to tell my parents. God knows this guy was no help.” She pointed at Levi.
“Wait, you two are....” Jean felt his heart sink. She was married to grumpy ass Levi. They had a daughter and he was a paraplegic. The puzzle pieces clicked together. That did make sense as to why they argued all the time. And they did have the same last name. She was so strong, truly no wonder she was so serious.Life had sent her some hardballs.
“NOO! We’re cousins dumb ass, we just grew up in the same house. Gross.” Mikasa shook her head as she walked out of the booth, only turning around to shoot him a dirty look.
“So levi….”
“Yeah she’s married.” Levi said bluntly. “And she thinks you suck at your job.”