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This had to stop. This had to stop!
Beside Himari, her alarm clock was blaring angry red digits like lasers burning through her spirit: 3:38AM. This was the fourth time she had woken up tonight alone. She couldn’t take it anymore! Her third sleepless night this week and it was only Wednesday. Not that the specifics mattered when all she could remember was sleepless night after sleepless night for the past few months since university.
Slamming the pillow over her head, Himari groaned louder than a wounded soldier on his deathbed. There was no point even being in bed. She knew how this routine went by now, having its order engraved into her skull. There would be no more sleep, and if there was, it would be in unsatisfying twenty minute instalments with hour-long breaks in between, during which the fatigue would make her bones ache. The bed didn’t even offer any comfort - she could feel the wires in the mattress pushing into her back, and the pillow had been beaten into little more than a pitiful sheet, and her feet were too hot but her chest was too cold and even if none of that was true, what was even the point of a bed if not for sleeping? And Himari! Couldn’t! SLEEP!
At this point, she just felt like sobbing. She was so tired. Surely if she was so tired that even blinking exhausted her, she should be able to sleep, but no! God hated her and her specifically. She didn’t get what she had done to piss him off, but whatever it was, she was sick of repenting day in day out for change that would never come. She just wanted some sleep. A bit of rest. Shut eye, to catch some Z’s, to be paid a visit by the sandman, whatever you wanted to call it, it was all she craved with every part of her heart and blood.
Realistically, she could guess why she was having trouble staying asleep. Ever since coming to university, her every waking thought had been infected with stress, so it didn’t come as a surprise to her that stress was even leaking into her subconscious too.
Himari gasped, jolting upright. Was this what it felt like to be Tsugu? Tsugu always was so tired, and Himari knew she had her fair share of troubled nights. Himari made a mental night to book her a therapy session sometime. It was the least she could do. And she may as well book herself one too. They could go on sleeping pills together! That was something best friends did, right? Solidarity and all that.
But the last shreds of Himari’s sanity reminded her that would never happen. Doctor’s appointments were so scarce these days! You could never get through to a clinic. And it would probably be dodgy business to order some pills online. She didn’t know the first thing about prescriptions for one…
So that left Himari sleepless in a shitty bed nearing 4AM, without so much as a plan to cope with stress.
For the second time that night, Himari jolted upright, provoked by a sudden memory. Of course! There was one doctor’s office that never shut - Doctor Google! Someone online somewhere would know what to do. And if they didn’t, there were always articles to fall back on, right? A bit of home medicine. She could dabble!
Spurred on by the hopeful blue light of her phone, Himari opened the search bar and began to type.
Mornings had always been one of the worst parts of the day. Rinko knew that well, gulping coffee down her throat in concerning doses from a mug that read “I hate mornings”. Lisa’s Christmas gifts were very accurate.
It had been another sleepless night. This time the destruction was somewhat by her own making - late night gaming stretched into early morning gaming - but Rinko almost always allocated a few hours for sleep, except those hours all went to waste as she lay in her bed failing to grasp even fifteen minutes.
Ah, well. There was always coffee.
Rinko stared deeply at the dregs that had collected at the bottom of her mug. There was always coffee, except for when she finished it and was still exhausted.
The door slammed open, whacking into the wall and making Rinko jump in fear. Suddenly the coffee was redundant.
“Good morning, Rinko-san!” Himari greeted cheerily, the bags under her eyes contradicting her energetic tone. How Himari managed it, Rinko would never know. Even Himari’s moaning was always full of vigour. “Did you sleep well?”
“Well…” Lying would be pointless, wouldn’t it? “No.”
“Aw, I’m sorry. Me neither. But I have a plan!” declared Himari, bounding up to Rinko and pouring her own cup. “Stress is always keeping you up, right?”
Rinko nodded.
“Same! Did you know that 42% of adults reported that they’ve been kept up by sleep at night in the past month? We’ve got a real crisis on our hands here!”
“Um… Yes?” Rinko knew a fair amount about the mental health epidemic, but she wasn’t sure exactly why they were discussing it first thing in the morning.
“It’s just horrible! Let me ask you something: aren’t you sick of the sleepless nights? Of stress bearing down on your mind?”
Himari was starting to sound more and more like an advertisement for some faulty medicine.
“Well, struggle no longer! I’ve found the perfect drug to take that stress away completely.”
Maybe because she was.
“What is it?” Rinko asked cautiously.
A sly grin made its way onto Himari’s face; Rinko was beginning to doubt whether indulging her was a good idea.
“It is - and drumroll please…” she said, pounding on the counter before leaping back with open arms. “Hugging!”
“... What?”
“Hugging! You know—” Himari squeezed her arms against herself tightly in a questionable demonstration that looked more like she was attempting to capture a pufferfish without being stabbed “—hugging?”
“Yes, I… I know about hugging, yes…”
“So? What are you so confused about?”
Roughly everything.
“Uehara-san, why are you… What?”
Huffing, Himari put her hands on her hips defiantly before springing into a scripted lecture. “Research shows that hugging reduces stress nearly immediately by 30%. This is due to a hormone called oxytocin, often called the love or cuddle hormone, which causes a decrease in a different hormone called cortisol, which causes stress. Oxytocin also causes a decrease in blood pressure and anxiety levels, and has even been linked to a lower risk of illness.” Himari smiled proudly. “I learnt about it last night.”
“And you think that hugging will… fix the problem?”
“Of course it will! A good hug fixes everything!” Rinko wasn’t so sure about that. “Look, just ask Tsugu. She tells me that I give great hugs, and that I always make her feel more secure when we hug! It’s helped her calm down from her anxiety, you know?”
“I’m sure it does help, but…” Rinko hesitated. “I-I’m not sure.”
“You know… A recent study found that stress increases the risk of premature death by 43%.” Had she really memorised all of these? “Research also suggests that as much as 90% of illness and disease is related to stress. 90%! Millions of people die every year, with heart disease being one of the leading causes. Heart disease is heavily linked to high blood pressure, which is heavily linked to stress. And I’m really, really stressed.”
With an iron-strong expression, Himari faced Rinko, arms crossed determinedly.
“Rinko-san,” she began. “We have to hug or I could die.”
… Jesus. Talk about high blood pressure.
“If I don’t hug you,” Rinko repeated, “you will die.”
“Yes!” Himari exclaimed hysterically. “Do you really want me to die?” She gave a dramatic sniff. “I thought you loved me.”
If anyone here was going to drop dead from stress, it would definitely be Rinko.
“We can… We can hug. I-If you’re sure you want to.”
“Of course I do! Why wouldn’t I want to hug you?” Himari asked, emphasising the last word as though hugging Rinko was her greatest dream. “So, humans need 12 hugs a day for maintenance, but I think we can round that up to 15. Just to be on the safe side, you know? Each hug should be at least 20 seconds long in order to release oxytocin, but I think we should make it 30 seconds - again, just to be sure. That makes sense, right?” recited Himari, running a hand through her hair worriedly. It didn’t seem like this was helping anyone to reduce their stress levels so far.
“That… That makes sense,” Rinko agreed. “Although I think I read… 35 seconds.”
“Then we should make it 45 just to be sure.”
“Of course.”
“Of course.”
“So, um…” Himari began, shuffling uncomfortably. “I’m pretty stressed right now, you know?”
Rinko only hesitated out of anxiety. “We should hug.” Awkwardly but surely, she held her arms open wide…
… to find that Himari fit so snugly between them.
Rinko had never really noticed their difference in height when they stood side to side. It wasn’t much, but if she stretched a bit, she could rest her head atop Himari’s own. She used a strawberry conditioner today too, Rinko realised as Himari tucked herself further under her chin.
Himari was so warm. She felt a bit like she was getting warmer, though that could just be the heat from Rinko’s own cheeks. But Himari was also soft, and full, and really nice to hug. It was very comforting, the way that Himari’s fingers curled gently into Rinko’s back, like she wanted to give more of herself but was too afraid to do it. She held Rinko like she was something to be treasured, something to hold herself back from for fear of being rejected. As if Rinko ever would.
Himari had hugged her before, but not… not like this. But Rinko didn’t mind.
It felt like home.
“Um…” Himari’s voice was a gentle hum against her collarbone, much like a lullaby lulling her into a comforting dream. “I can’t feel the oxytocin yet.”
“Neither can I,” Rinko lied, ignoring the way that she felt as though her heart was bursting out of her chest and finally at peace all at once. “I think… it probably only works if we hug tightly.”
“Mm,” Himari assented, squeezing Rinko warmly. It was the sweetest thing she had ever felt. “That sounds good.”
They stayed like that for a long time, far longer than the official amount. 20 seconds, or 30, or 40 - Rinko couldn’t remember. It was hard to keep track of time when Himari was in her arms. Rinko didn’t think she wanted to.
Maybe Himari was having difficulty keeping track as well. Or maybe she was still stressed.
Whatever the case…
Rinko pulled Himari in closer, delighting in the way that Himari sighed, as though all her stress was being released in a single breath.
… Rinko knew she didn’t want to let go again.