Archive of Our Own

Once upon a time, in a Satanic abbey located in Sweden, there was a fire ghoul by the name of Dewdrop–

Scratch that. This ain’t no fairy tale, but the story of how one stubborn motherfucker born in Hell came to realize he has feelings for a particular someone. Feelings of attraction, affection, interest, and want. Which all together morphed into something that could be called love. In its infancy, but ready to grow.

So, let’s start again, shall we? Right from the beginning…

Dewdrop is standing at the entrance of the abbey’s library, its wide open doors almost challenging him to enter. He has been standing still, rooted to the stone floor for what has felt like an eternity. Luckily for him, the front desk is vacant and there’s no one in sight, either inside the large room or outside in the corridor he’s occupying. He’s psyching himself up, daring himself to step in and confront the uneasiness that assaults him every time he so much as walks in front of the area.

He has been there before, so why can’t he go in once more? Even though the first –and so far only– time he went in was just so he could hide from his bandmates and the pressing questions regarding why his temper was so volatile and his powers kept getting out of control. Still, he should be able to do it again. Right?

Dewdrop takes a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before letting it out, and takes a step forward. And then he just promptly freezes in place all over again.

What the hell is wrong with me? The fire demon questions himself, annoyed at his persistent reticence. It’s just a stupid place filled with stupid books, which I need to pass the time before I go fucking insane.

What he’s referring to is the fact that he was grounded by Sister Imperator a few days ago, being prohibited from using any electronic devices for entertainment reasons. That punishment was dealt after he set his laptop, some furniture, and one of Copia’s suit jackets on fire when he got angry at ending up with a hand of 20 cards during a game of UNO.

Understandable rage, although the jacket Cardinal didn’t deserve to suffer like that.

Anyway, for the first few days since his sentence was made by Imperator, Dewdrop did everything he could to keep himself entertained. He played his guitars, talked with his fellow ghouls, tidied his room, and even went as far as helping some Siblings with the chores they had assigned despite not being required to. Yet it wasn’t enough, nor did it last long. So, he ended up caving and heeding Mountain’s suggestion to give reading books a try.

He didn’t want to, but he had run out of options.

Thus, the small ghoul is debating whether he’s going in or not when his enhanced hearing picks up a few joyful voices chattering around the corner and drawing closer to his location. That means there are a few Siblings of Sin walking down an adjacent hallway, about to catch sight of him as soon as they turn left. And the embarrassing prospect of being seen standing motionless in front of the library, looking in like a creep, makes the ultimate decision for him.

Dewdrop walks into the library, almost tripping on his own tail, which is whipping around wildly. Not only that, though, but his whole body is a mess of reactions: palms sweating, throat starting to close, ears twitching sporadically, fangs gnawing at his dry lips, and heart beating like crazy, threatening to break his ribs. He’s feeling jittery despite not having drank any coffee (and the fact that caffeine doesn’t affect demons like that anyway).

Nevertheless, the hellish creature makes it all the way to the front desk without landing on his ass or face-first on the floor, which he dreaded would happen thanks to his legs feeling like Jell-O. He chalks it up to the fact that he has yet to come across the true cause of all those disturbing feelings: one of the three librarians who work there.

He has never met them officially; never exchanged words with them. He has just seen them around, whether it was while walking in front of the library entrance on his way to somewhere else, at some gatherings held by the Ministry, or that one time he went into the library in order to hide from his fellow demons. And, during all of those times, the librarian seemed like they barely paid him any mind at all.

That’s what caught his attention in the first place, the fact that they seemed to not even take notice of him. Almost every other Sibling of Sin at some point or another fawned over him. He took many to bed as well. But never them. And the librarian’s indifference is as refreshing as it is a little annoying given that (despite sometimes becoming too much and bothering him) he’s so used to everyone being interested in him.

But, before we get to the person of interest, we should make honorary mention of the full staff that works at the library (or at least those of importance).

Beatrice is the head librarian, an old woman who has been working there for 50 years and has been part of the Ministry for even longer. She’s stern and seldom smiles, which makes some people compare her to Seestor. Although, Beatrice doesn’t even bother to pretend to be amenable. Fortunately, though, she’s never at the front desk, preferring to work in her own office.

Joshua (yes, an ironic name for a Satanist to have; blame his Christian parents for it) is the second one of the three librarians who regularly work there. He’s a cool and charming guy in his mid-30s who’s always willing to lend a helping hand. However, he’s also barely seen around since he usually manages the Ministry’s archive, which is located right beneath the library. He still does help around the main floor, mostly doing the heavy lifting for the others.

Speaking of which, the others often are Siblings (mostly Sisters) of Sin who aren’t librarians but help around anyway, doing minor tasks. They are usually on rotation, sent there by Sister Imperator whenever she assigns the chores to do in the abbey. Most Siblings usually help the professionals working at the Ministry, as is the case with the library. The Sister that stands out the most given her regular contributions is Margaret, the one person who gets along well the most with the librarian who has inadvertently become the bane of Dewdrop’s existence.

Alex is the third and last librarian of the abbey. They are the youngest of the three, a 26-year-old Sibling that prefers to keep to themselves. They are smart and witty; observant and they possess great intuition. However, they are often seen as unapproachable given their aloof personality and strong character. They’re usually indifferent to the comings and goings of other Siblings, Clergy members, and even the demons themselves. Also, Alex has a perpetual resting bitch face that seems to be only broken whenever they get to tease their only friend, Sister Margaret.

Although, if they were to be asked about the nature of their relationship, they might deny they consider her a friend, to begin with. They would obviously be lying.

In essence, they are a loner and they don’t have time for anyone’s bullshit. Except for Orange’s, the abbey’s tabby cat that got adopted in order to keep the grounds free from rats and other pests. Said animal is currently resting atop the front desk of the library, eyes trained on the fidgety ghoul that just walked in.

As soon as Dewdrop turns his gaze toward the cat comfortably sprawled at one end of the desk, the feline hisses at him in warning, letting him know he’ll get scratched if he gets any closer. On his part, the guitarist has to suppress the impulse to hiss back, not wanting to be caught red-handed by anyone.

Instead, he just adverts his gaze and looks down toward the golden desk bell positioned in front of him, which he knows he’ll have to ring if he wants to get some assistance. That’s the second thing that paralyzes him, making him consider the possibility of leaving once more, especially since the Siblings’ presence that forced him to go in has now disappeared.

Problem is, that all the anxiety consuming him is starting to piss him off since he can’t explain what’s causing it in the first place. And, in consequence, he hits the bell with more force than he meant to.

The resounding chime echoes through the silent room, eliciting a response from someone.

“Coming!” A voice shouts from the back, sounding lethargic despite the volume used.

In response, Dew grows hot and cold all of a sudden and at the same time, while his heart stops before beating double time.

The second he locks eyes with the librarian, his heart leaps into his throat and his frustration grows tenfold as he’s unable to explain what’s wrong with him and why he’s acting like that.

Keep it together, dumbass, he mentally scolds himself, it’s just the librarian, not freaking Satan!

As the fire ghoul gulps down his trepidation and maintains eye contact with the Sibling ‒their scrutinizing gaze unnerving him a little‒, and despite part of him wanting to run away, he notices the slight changes in the human’s demeanor.

Alex appeared from behind a shelf, looking bored as usual (while pushing their dark brown, shaggy shoulder-length hair out of their face), yet when their eyes registered the lead guitarist, something changed. It was like a minuscule spark of interest lighted up in their brown eyes, morphing their expression from an apathetic one to a marginally more curious one. Although, the change was almost imperceptible, and despite Dew being able to notice it, he couldn’t understand what it meant.

The ghoul is used to almost everyone showing interest in him, usually the sexual kind, no matter their age, sex, or gender. Demons have that kind of luring effect, carnal and intoxicating. Yet Dewdrop can’t say for certain that Alex is the same as everyone else in that aspect. In fact, he’s almost convinced that it’s the other way around and that the librarian doesn’t give a flying fuck about who or what he is.

How weird, he thinks in retaliation as he frowns.

“Good afternoon, what can I help you with?” Alex asked as soon as they got behind the desk, sounding disinterested yet obliging.

However, the ghoul suspects that the “attentive” connotation of their tone is more of a put-on act than something sincere. Like a customer service employee at a supermarket who’s fucking done with humanity yet still has to pretend to be somewhat civil to people if they want to keep getting paid.

That realization, coupled with the persistent feeling of nervousness that’s making him irritable, pushes Dewdrop to answer more harshly than he intended to.

“I need a book,” he almost barked.

In return, Alex looks at him, unimpressed, before making an “uh-huh” sound. “And what book would that be?”

The librarian’s question seems almost mocking, but their level of professionalism makes it hard to discern.

“How the fuck am I supposed to know? I don’t work here.”

“No shit,” Alex mutters under their breath while their eyebrows raise.

“What was that?” Dew asks, sounding more paranoid than affronted.

“Nothing,” the librarian dismisses casually. “If you don’t have a specific book you’re looking for, do you at least have a genre of preference?”

“A what?”

Dear Satan, they think with exasperation, asking the Dark Lord to lend them enough strength and patience to deal with the little gremlin.

If it were up to them, they would dispatch the ghoul as quickly as possible, finding his rudeness tiring and distasteful. Yet they can’t just kick him out; they have to play by the rules and be polite to him until he leaves somewhat satisfied.

“Do you watch movies?” They end up asking instead.

“Yeah, of course I do,” he replies, shrugging one shoulder.

“What kind of movies do you like?”

“Everything with lots of blood and explosions in them.”

The admission doesn’t come as a surprise to the librarian, having expected something of that like coming from the fire ghoul. After all, his reputation precedes him.

“Right,” Alex sighs, already done with their conversation and wanting to go back to shelving books. “Well then, you might like to read a book with that same content in it.”

Upon hearing the librarian’s suggestion, made with an expression that communicated “take it and leave” –which of course he doesn’t get–, the guitarist shrugs once more, unconvinced. He likes movies with that kind of violent content because he can see all the gore and brutality fleshed out in such an explicit way that he gets to enjoy it. So, leaving that glorious imagery up to his imagination might not be the best option. Especially given that whenever he does imagine anything like that, it usually leads him to remember rather unsavory things he witnessed in real life.

“I dunno, seems kinda boring to have to imagine it,” he says, lying through his teeth. “Not the same thrill as seeing it.”

“What about horror? You like horror stories?”

“Do I look like someone who gets scared?” He scoffs, arching a brow behind his mask.

Naturally, the gesture is lost on the poor librarian. They also keep to themselves what they really want to answer to that question, growing irritated by his stand-offish attitude.

Dewdrop gets what they mean, however, horror doesn’t sound appealing at the moment either. On one side, he doesn’t see the point in it since he really doesn’t feel any kind of fear or suspense while reading or watching horror-themed content (the only horror he enjoys is the one that’s mixed with gore). On the other, because he has been at the library for more than five minutes now, talking with Alex, and his restlessness hasn’t subsided even one bit.

He’s going mad from having all those feelings and not knowing what’s causing them or why. And despite having told himself to be quick about the whole affair, he finds he feels an inexplicable desire to stay for as long as he can. So, yeah, the conflicting emotions are driving him nuts.

What he truly wants, is something to help him understand better what’s going on with him. But he can’t say that, won’t say that. Not only because he’s too prideful, but because he doesn’t even know how to voice it. If he doesn’t understand it himself, how could he explain it to the Sibling?

“Maybe some book about gruesome crimes?” They offer in the hope that the demon will accept and leave.

“That sounds more like it,” he finally says, sounding a tad more pleased.

However, his anxiety leads him to use the part of his brain that he considers stupid insolent, promptly ruining the relieved mood of the librarian.

“You should have started with that! This ʻ20 Questions’ game was a waste of my time.”

“Look, man, just because I’m familiar with the catalog here doesn’t mean I can read minds,” Alex spews harshly, patience running thinner than ever. “If you don’t have a specific title to ask for and expect to get a recommendation, then I have to ask what you like. It’s common sense.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the fire ghoul snarls derisively, Alex’s exasperation setting off his own. “Am I annoying you by making you do your job? Because that’s what you do, isn’t it? Look for books?”

The belittling questions are almost enough to break Alex’s impassive facade, provoking an itch to appear in one of their eyelids, one that almost makes them let it twitch in annoyance. Despite that, they reign in the spasm in time. Instead of telling the ghoul to fuck off, Alex takes a deep breath, counts to ten in their mind, and decides to make a snarky remark instead.

“You know, you could always do it yourself if it’s such a drag having someone try to figure out what it is that you want,” they suggest with a fake sweet tone and a scornful expression. “It’s an open-shelf library, after all, you can just search for something that piques your interest.”

“I ain’t got time for that!” An offended Dewdrop complains.

“You don’t,” Alex states coldly, scoffing and glaring at him while they brace their arms against the edge of the desk. “Really? ‘Cause last I heard, you got grounded by Imperator for being a misbehaving child and throwing a tantrum. That should give you plenty of time to look through all the shelves, shouldn’t it?”

Dew should have known that the details of his punishment would spread fast around the abbey. Still, he never expected to have it thrown at his face so crudely. And the outrageous statement makes him teeter on the edge of losing his shit, chest heaving with ragged breaths, nostrils flaring, body temperature rising to dangerous levels, and fists clenching tightly at his sides.

Nevertheless, the librarian isn’t done yet.

“Guess you’re just a lazy and spoiled little brat, who never read anything in his life,” they continue, mocking the demon without reserve.

After all, the guitarist was the one to antagonize them without reason.

“That’s probably why you can’t search for a book yourself, ‘cause you don’t even know what to look for in the first place. You should learn a thing or two from Mountain and Rain.”

The infuriating insults hurt like hell, yet it’s the offhanded mention of the other two ghouls that becomes the last straw for him.

Dewdrop has had enough.

“What the fuck did you just say?”

He takes a step forward, drawing closer to the desk, and imitates Alex’s stance, resting both palms flat against the surface of the desk as he leans in, leveling the stare of the librarian who’s shorter than him. The whole gesture should be intimidating as hell, yet the Sibling doesn’t budge from their place, even though the heat surrounding him like an aura is making them start to sweat.

Unlike when he usually gets pissed off beyond comprehension, Dew’s tone of voice was calm and measured, deadly so. The full scale of his fury isn’t noticeable in his voice, but in his fiery eyes and the heat he’s emanating like a furnace. His twin glowing embers have taken a red-orange hue that lights up a bit the shadowed features of his face, which is otherwise hidden behind his mask. That allows Alex to see his eyelids and eyelashes.

And for the first time since Dewdrop entered the library, a crack appears on the librarian’s otherwise smooth mask made up by their poker face. Nevertheless, what the fire ghoul sees through said crack isn’t what he expected. He doesn’t see fear in them; he sees something more akin to…awe. That in itself gives him pause, making his ire lessen some.

Honestly, he’s just taken aback.

“Alright, you win,” they say at last, a blank expression put back in place on their face as if the ghoul in front of them had never threatened them with bloody murder with his gaze alone. “Give me a minute.”

Alex disappears behind the shelves, leaving a flabbergasted Dewdrop alone once again, accompanied solely by Orange. The cat hasn’t stopped spying on him through one of his barely opened eyes, keeping watch while he talked to the librarian. Despite instinctively knowing that he doesn’t stand a chance, the animal is protective of the Sibling. Still, Orange isn’t stupid, thus why he didn’t remind the ghoul of his presence when he snapped.

When the librarian returns, the guitarist is on edge, wanting to crawl out of his skin. The rollercoaster of emotions he has been riding since he stepped into the library is giving him whiplash.

“Here, take this one,” Alex says, handing the fire demon a thick hardcover tome bound in burgundy leather while they process it through the system.

The ghoul isn’t even registered in the library’s patron database since he never borrowed a book before. However, the Sibling is done with their interaction for the time being, so they resolve to fill out his information later, once the ghoul vacates the premises. It’s not like there’s much to fill out anyway.

“What is it about?”

Dew’s eyebrows scrunch together as he flips the book back and forth in his hands, inspecting it. The title, Clueless Season, is written in gold lettering and doesn’t tell him much. Neither does he recognize the author, thus why he was compelled to ask about it.

“Read it and find out,” they reply curtly, dismissing him.

He takes it just to avoid speaking any further with the cranky librarian, feeling drained by the whole interaction and gives Orange one last dirty look before making his way out. However, he doesn’t even get to cross the threshold when he’s loudly reminded by Alex that he should return it in a week’s time unless he wants to get penalized.

So much for all those rules about keeping silent in the library, he thinks sardonically as he snorts, leaving the library behind.

At the very least, he can be proud of not losing much of his composure, only getting angry but keeping his powers in check.

Meanwhile, Sister Margaret takes advantage of the ghoul’s departure to approach the front desk in search of Alex. She had been helping the Sibling in the back, shelving books, and had remained behind when they went to assist the musician. Given that she heard their entire conversation ‒thanks to the lack of sounds inside the library, apart from their voices‒, she’s brimming with curiosity about their interaction.

“Well, he was a little rude,” Margaret dares to comment, gingerly walking in front of the desk while she keeps her eyes on the open entrance.

On one end of the piece of furniture, Orange emits a short chirp, as if agreeing with the Sister’s assessment of the ghoul’s behavior.

“Isn’t he always?” Alex retorts, sounding a little miffed. “I really don’t understand how he manages to get into so many people’s pants.”

The Sibling scoffs, trying to sound mostly indifferent. However, to Margaret they end up sounding rather bitter. Maybe even jealous, which strikes her as odd since she never got the impression that the librarian was into the lead guitarist at all.

Because of that sudden revelation, the Sister feels emboldened enough to make a suggestive remark. “I heard he’s worth the rudeness.”

Dewdrop’s reputation as amazing in bed is well known around the abbey, with many Siblings having commented on his sexual prowess. Although neither of the two knows if that is true from firsthand experience. Yet despite Margaret not being interested in him, to begin with, preferring another ghoul herself, she suspects Alex is. Even though the librarian tries to seem uncaring about the whole ordeal.

“Yeah, right,” they snort.

“Like you wouldn’t want to find out yourself,” the Sister accuses while smirking.

“Shut up, Margaret.”

Alex’s grumbled dismissal is enough to make the other drop the subject for the time being. Still, she smiles to herself, satisfied knowing that her suspicion might be accurate and that her usually aloof friend fancies none other than Dewdrop.

It’s also then when the head librarian appears from her office, Joshua trailing behind her with a box full of yellowed papers.

“Has that little menace gone away already?” Beatrice asks, grumpy as ever.

“Yes, Sister, he left a couple of minutes ago,” Alex assures her, sounding exhausted. “Did his yelling bother you?”

“All he’s good for is playing that damned instrument and screeching like a banshee,” the older woman complains. “Those friends of his are much better. Nicer, and know how to appreciate this library.”

Beatrice is referring to Mountain, Rain, and Aether, preferring them to Swiss and Dewdrop since they are polite and seldom get in trouble. Also, the first two borrow books regularly while the quintessence ghoul has helped her with paperwork on more than one occasion. He also partakes in the weekly tea gatherings held by Seestor, alongside Beatrice and Copia.

“He’s not that bad, Bee,” Joshua tries to defend the fire ghoul, always seeing the good in people despite their faults. “Swiss is alright as well.”

Nevertheless, what truly catches the attention of Margaret isn’t the man’s attempt to plead for the guitarist’s case nor the way he gave a naughty smirk when mentioning the multi-instrumentalist, but how affectionately he referred to the head librarian. If she had to be honest, it gives her the impression that the relationship between the two might go beyond professionalism. Or even beyond friendship.

Not that she wants to imagine anything like that, yet she decides to ask Alex about it whenever they both are far away from the old woman’s earshot.

“Well, good riddance, I say,” she spits before addressing the other two. “Now, have you two finished shelving the books I gave you?”

Both younger Siblings respond with a curt “yes”, Margaret sounding more animated than Alex.

“Get on with something else then,” she reprimands sternly, scowl fixed in place on her face. “If you have time to stand around and chit-chat about foolish things, you have time to work.”

With that last barked order, Beatrice retreats back to her office, leaving Sister and Sibling to sigh in resignation and start dealing with other tasks that need to be done. On his part, the Brother can only give them a sympathetic smile before going on his way as well, telling them he’ll be downstairs if they need him.

Once they are alone again, Margaret dares to ask something that she has been wondering about for a long time.

“Do you think she will ever tell us we did a ‘good job’ on something?”

“I think she’s allergic to giving praise,” Alex sneers and the two of them finally grow silent as they focus on their work.

A couple of days have gone by since Dewdrop went to the library to borrow a book for the first time ever. In all of that time, he has been barely able to put the book down, and despite being an almost 500 pages-long novel, he has already read a good chunk of it, being too engrossed in the plot, although also getting progressively more pissed off by the same.

Well, not exactly. It’s not just the plot that’s gotten him so riled up, but the fact that the librarian chose that particular book for him, probably knowing exactly what it was about. Thus, the fire ghoul can’t help but take it as an insult to his person, pushing him to go back to the library searching for an explanation that will satisfy him.

He is in luck, given that he finds Alex to be the only one present in the room at the moment he decides to pay them a visit. He was looking for them anyway, and since he doesn’t have kind things to say, but rather demand answers from them, he prefers that it’s just the two of them.

In fact, he’s so angry about the book recommendation that he didn’t even spare Orange a glance when he walked past the front desk.

“The fuck kind of shallow, simple-minded demon do you think I am?” He asks as soon as he stomps his way to the back of the library.

There, he finds Alex doing one of their favorite tasks: shelving and organizing books (which usually keeps them away from the front desk and having to assist patrons). The librarian is currently standing on a ladder, which helps them reach the shelves at the top. However, it also leaves them at a higher position relative to Dewdrop, which in turn makes the small demon a little uncomfortable (feeling vulnerable and insecure). After all, he does take solace in the fact that they are one of the very few people living in the abbey who are shorter than him for a change.

“Good afternoon to you too,” Alex replies snidely, barely sparing him a glance over their right shoulder.

“Answer my question!” He demands, already at his wit’s end. “You gave me this stupid book, about two idiots who all they do is bicker with one another and whine to their friends about each other. Why the fuck did you give me something like this?!”

“I’m sorry, which question do you want me to answer? The first or the second?”

Alex had to choose between toying with the ghoul or telling him to piss off. Knowing both options could result in some sort of unpredictable and violent retaliation from him, they went with the one that could at least offer them some fun in return for being reckless.

“Don’t you fucking start playing dumb with me, you know what I’m talking about,” the fire ghoul grits out between sharp teeth, eyes blazing in warning and right index finger pointing at the Sibling.

“All I know is that you’re wrong, man,” the librarian retorts as they shrug.

That takes the guitarist by surprise, finding himself taken aback yet again by the Sibling’s boldness when confronting him. Since he’s so used to every other human –sans Imperator– cowering when faced with his wrath, the librarian’s dismissiveness indeed throws him for a loop every time.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re making light of a story that delves into far more complex themes than you’re giving it credit for,” Alex points out, shelving books as if they don’t have an incensed fire ghoul right behind them.

“Complex? This crap?” Dew asks, scoffing in disbelief.

The insult to the piece of literature rubs the librarian the wrong way, yet they try to keep at least a semblance of professionalism. So, instead of flipping him the bird, they ask him a question they doubt will get a positive answer. Otherwise, they might not be having that conversation at all.

“Did you even finish it?”

As Alex questions him, one eyebrow arching while they turn around in order to face the ghoul, looking down at him from their elevated position on the ladder. At that, the demon grows silent for a few seconds, his formerly swishing tail moving in slower sways.

“…No,” he answers at length, feeling called out.

“Then do that first and come complain to me later,” the librarian says in a bored drawl.

The dismissal, short and to the point, makes Dewdrop’s blood boil. But, at the same time, the invitation to return and talk to them again provokes a shiver to run down his spine. Thus, his resolution settles.

So, he does finish the book, taking a seat under one of the trees in the nearby courtyard, reading what he had left of the story in record time as it only takes him a few more hours to reach the end before he’s standing up and making his way back to the library. There, he finds Alex behind the desk, idly looking at the computer. This time around, though, the cat isn’t anywhere in sight, which makes Dewdrop feel a little more at ease.

“There, I finished it,” he announces, leaving the book on top of the desk for the librarian to put back where it belongs. “I still think it sucks.”

The fire demon’s ultimate critique drives the Sibling to roll their eyes, shake their head, and scoff at such a lack of tactfulness and awareness.

“You just don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?”

Despite his attempt to sound calm and collected, almost bored, the vexation he feels bled a little bit into his question.

“First of all, you need some time to digest what you just read. You have to give yourself time to process it, to mull it over in your head. Only then will you be able to fully grasp and appreciate what you absorbed from it,” Alex explains, gathering as much patience as they can.

“Second of all, works of fiction are rarely as superficial as they may seem,” they continue, sounding more invested in their conversation. “More often than not, they hide something beneath the surface, which you need to search for. Sometimes you have to dig deep, in search of what the story is really trying to tell. Take this one for example, what do you think it’s about?”

“I already told you!” Dew exclaims, exasperated.

Still, he complies.

“It’s about two idiots who fight until one day they realize they are into each other. It’s just stupid and makes no sense. How do you go from hating someone to liking them?”

Oh, if he could just see the irony in all of it. However, and unfortunately for both of them, he can’t. He’s unable to, not yet being ready to even understand what’s been going on inside him for a while.

“How indeed,” they echo, letting out a deep sigh.

Despite already feeling exhausted, Alex decides to give their conversation one last try, looking to make the fire ghoul at least understand somewhat the book’s true themes. That’s how they both end up getting engrossed in a profound conversation about the story, its main characters, and the evolution of their relationship, spending so much time on it that they stay in the library even past closing hours.

By the time their talk comes to an end, with the demon still unable to grasp the full meaning of the book –and even less the parallels between fiction and reality, in his case–, Alex tells him he should go since they have to close the library before going to get dinner at the mess hall.

Given how confused Dew continues to feel despite the lengthy conversation they shared, he leaves almost as annoyed as he arrived hours earlier. He can’t understand what the librarian’s aim is in recommending him that particular book, nor why they insisted on the importance of him grasping the true themes the story talks about. That would probably be what pisses him off the most, yet there’s another reason that he has been ignoring for too long.

He gets the point of the book on a rational level (or at least he believes he does), but not on an emotional one. Because he doesn’t even understand what the feelings he has are, what they mean, or where they stem from.

Dewdrop isn’t an idiot. Well, not that much of an idiot anyway. He’s able to recognize that he feels different toward Alex than he does toward everyone else. But given how clueless he is about it, he chalks it up to being related to the librarian not seeming to be smitten with him.

Nevertheless, the problem isn’t just how oblivious he is to the true nature of his feelings, but the fact that he completely ignores Alex’s as well, remaining unaware of them since he so far believes they feel nothing but contempt toward him.

And that’s not even the worst part of it all, but the fact that the mess of emotions he has become thanks to the feelings he has been harboring for the librarian doesn’t help at all his progress to deal with his anger-management and power-control issues. On the contrary, they feed into his instability and inclination toward letting his ire get the best of him. Even despite all the exercises he has been doing in an attempt to re-learn to be in control of his temper and hellish abilities.

The fact that he has feelings that he doesn’t know what they are, due to what he has them, nor what to do with them is making him want to crawl up the walls and ceilings of the abbey. He has never been in love before; he has never even had a crush on someone.

Has he felt physical attraction for other individuals and even lust? Of course! For many, actually. However, he had yet to feel anything else in the realm of affection that wasn’t of the friendly or sibling-ly variety. Also, the fact that Alex seems able to push all his buttons effortlessly isn’t really helping him either. So, he’s left believing that what he feels for the librarian isn’t anything more than disdain and that it’s reciprocated as well.

It’ll probably take someone hitting him upside the head to finally realize that all he has to do is stop being a jerk. Then, he might be able to have his eyes opened to the truth.

“Yo, Dewey~” Swiss calls with a singsong tone as soon as he walks into the common room and sees his bandmate. “What’s got you so mopey lately?”

“Piss off, Swiss.”

The fire ghoul is sprawled on the couch, facing down and occupying the whole length of it from head to toes. He has his left arm hanging over the edge, drooping to the floor while his face is turned in the same direction, staring blankly at a random TV show. He’s been there for the past three hours and has yet to move.

Naturally, the others are growing concerned.

“Are you okay?” Aether asks with genuine worry.

The group of ghouls and ghoulettes has just returned from rehearsing with the Cardinal, which the lead guitarist skipped. That’s something he never does, and given that they see him so depressed –a rare occurrence as well–, they are getting progressively more preoccupied. They are used to seeing him angry, but not sad.

“You too, Aether,” Dew replies, giving the same kind of answer he gave the multi ghoul.

Realizing that asking about what’s wrong will lead them nowhere, Mountain decides to take advantage of his suspicions and make a different inquiry instead. After all, he has been dying to know.

“How was the book you read?”

The second the question registers in Dewdrop’s mind, he shoots up from the couch and looks at the group of three ghouls attempting to interrogate him (plus Rain, Cirrus, and Cumulus, who have yet to speak but are invested in the matter as much as the others). He stares them down with such intensity that the rhythmic guitarist and the multi-instrumentalist feel compelled to take a step back for safety reasons. They don’t do it, though, not wanting to seem cowed by the fire demon’s reaction to the drummer bringing up what should be an inane topic.

Clearly, it isn’t.

Thankfully for them, though, they don’t even need to prompt Dew to spill the beans since he chooses to do it all by himself, launching into a rant not only about his problem with the book but with the librarian who suggested it as well. It is then that he also learns that all of his bandmates –sans Swiss– read the accursed book before him.

Mountain did it because he had already read all the other novels the library had to offer. Rain because he got it recommended by a bunch of different Siblings of Sin who couldn’t stop gushing about the enthralling love story. Cumulus and Cirrus because love stories are their favorite kind of literature. And Aether because he caught wind of how popular the book was among the Siblings and wanted to feel included in the, at the time, current topic of discussion.

Nevertheless, they all silently agree through a shared look (which Swiss misses due to him not having read the book and not having a clue on how it relates to both Dew and the librarian) to not share those details with the fire ghoul. Instead, they proceed to start to tease him about his evolving relationship with Alex. Because, as it turns out, Mountain let in Aether, Rain, and the ghoulettes on his theory about Dew developing uncertain feelings toward the Sibling, which he came up with after noticing the ghoul’s behavior around them. Or rather, how Dew systematically avoided being around them.

“Alex recommended it to you, didn’t they?”

Mountain’s continued interrogation, along with the use of the Sibling’s name makes one of Dewdrop’s eyelids twitch. That and the keyboardists’ barely-contained giggles. To them, it is obvious that he isn’t happy about the earth ghoul seeming so familiar with the librarian, to the point of calling them by their first name only (which isn’t a big deal to anyone but Dew). Even though he shouldn’t be surprised about it given how often Mountain uses the library services.

It is then that Swiss seems to finally catch on to where the conversation is going.

The multi ghoul whistles despite the fire ghoul’s rising anger. “Someone caught your eye, lil’ man? You makin’ new friends?”

“What?! No! It’s not what you think!” Dewdrop tries to defend, sounding cornered.

“You sure you don’t like them even the tiniest bit?” Cumulus prompts, feeling emboldened by Swiss’ teasing.

“As if!” The little gremlin sneers. “They are annoying as fuck, and so rude too! How could I even like someone like them?”

“You do realize the irony of all of this, right?” Cirrus asks, being done with skirting around the subject.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Dew, from what you are telling us, and from what we know, your interactions with Alex seem to resemble the dynamic between the protagonists of Clueless Season,” Rain finally points out.

“What?”

Behind the silver mask, the blood drains from Dewdrop’s face.

“Yeah, it’s the same, at least in the beginning, when they are at each other’s throats and complaining to their friends about hating the other,” Cirrus explains further to a bewildered Dewdrop.

“Wha– I mean, yeah, I can see some similarities, but… I’m telling you it’s not like that between us!” The smallest ghoul insists with desperation, internally trying to make sense of the revelation he was just provided with by his friends. “They don’t even like me in that way!”

He thought he would sound uncaring; he tried to sound like that. Yet what came out of his mouth at the end sounded more upset and hurt than what he intended. In reality, he didn’t even figure out until that moment that the notion of Alex not liking him even bothered him at all. Or at least not as much as he’s coming to understand.

That epiphany aside, he realizes a little belatedly that he omitted an important affirmation in his rant.

“And I don’t like them either!”

Dewdrop adds the denial for good measure but is already too late to try to convince his bandmates otherwise.

“If you say so,” Mountain replies briefly before turning around and leaving.

The drummer’s casual dismissal of the matter leaves the fire ghoul stunned, as do the other demons following suit and exiting the common room as well, sneaking glances at him before disappearing from view. And just like that, Dewdrop is left alone with his thoughts and feelings all over again, given time to process and mull over them for as long as he needs.

Now that he has a few more insights on what could be going on, and he doesn’t have to put up a front of indifference, he can reluctantly admit that his fellow ghouls might have a point after all. So, he starts to consider that he could possibly be…falling in love.

Dewdrop decides to finally face the music and take a trip down memory lane, reliving as many moments as he can from the instant that he first became aware of Alex’s existence. While he does that, he uses the book’s plot for points of reference, comparing as much as he can of its protagonists’ relationship to the one he has with the librarian.

Little by little, he begins to recognize the similar patterns in behavior. Not only that, though, but he realizes how alike he and the male protagonist are. Or rather, how it could seem like that to others. They are both womanizing dicks who answer to no one and retaliate aggressively whenever someone stands in their way and questions them (although, the book’s character isn’t nearly as violent as Dew is when it comes to getting mad).

And the beginning of the relationship between the characters and his and Alex’s seem also identical. The fictional people start off by barely acknowledging each other’s existence, and when he acts all rude and preponderant, expecting her to fall to his feet just like everyone else, she instead treats him in the same way he treats her. Just like Alex did.

The realization blows his mind. Still, he can’t wrap his head around the fact that the librarian might actually be interested in him beyond wanting a one-night stand with the legendary fire ghoul, whose reputation of being an amazing partner in bed is well known throughout the abbey.

And it’s not like he would mind if that were just the case. But he can’t deny that the possibility makes a sharp pang of pain stab him in the heart. There, he finds the irrefutable proof that he does feel something for Alex that he never felt before for anyone else. Something beyond attraction and affection.

Love.

Maybe.

He isn’t sure because: one, he never felt it before, and two, he doesn’t think he has spent enough time with the Sibling to develop something of that magnitude. They barely know each other.

He heard of “love at first sight”, but as far as he knows, it’s not equal to loving someone. But his desire remains, and it goes beyond any physical interest. From what he has seen, Alex is smart, funny, kind, and a good listener. They have a sharp tongue, and they seldom leave their thoughts unspoken. Still, what attracts Dewdrop the most is what he sees in their eyes every time he stares at them while they look at him.

People always look at him with either one or more of three distinctive feelings: fear, lust, or disgust. Alex doesn’t look at him in any of those ways. No, they see him instead. Not as a monster or a creature of sin. They don’t see him as special as all the other Siblings do, and that’s a good thing since Dew doesn’t care much about that anymore. They also don’t see him as someone to be terrified of because of his nature or his volatile temper.

They just see him. And now he realizes that that’s what he has always wanted.

To be seen, understood, accepted, and cared for.

That’s enough for him to want to find out if his feelings are reciprocated or not. He thinks it’s worth giving it a shot.

Dewdrop leaves the ghoul dens’ common room behind, much like his friends did a few hours prior. He walks down the long corridor that leads to all of their rooms, walking up the stairs two steps at a time. He then makes a beeline for the library, needing to force himself not to run as he doesn’t want to be out of breath by the time he arrives. His heart is already threatening to pound out of his chest anyway.

When he finally arrives, he finds Alex sitting behind the desk, no cat in sight but an untouched steaming cup of tea placed next to them.

The fire ghoul takes a deep breath ‒maybe the biggest he ever had‒ and walks inside. The moment his shoes clack loudly against the wooden floors of the room, communicating the purpose in his stride, the librarian raises their head and locks eyes with him. They had been looking through some documents, in search of something. However, the information they are seeking is instantly forgotten once they notice the change in the aura surrounding the ghoul.

It no longer seems skittish and paranoid, but strong and determined.

“Why that book, out of all the others?” Dew asks as soon as he reaches the desk.

“It should be really obvious given the book’s themes, so I guess you still haven’t figured it out yet, then,” Alex sighs, more tired than disappointed.

“I think I did, which makes me even more confused,” Dew confesses, feeling more confident than he thought possible. “If this is supposed to be a message about…us? Then why have you been treating me so rudely? If you were interested since the beginning.”

“Have I?” Alex asks rhetorically, with a smirk that doesn’t reach their eyes. “I mean, was I unfairly mean to you, or did I just reflect how you treated me?” They question further, eyebrow arching delicately.

“Take for instance the discussion we had after you finished the book,” the librarian gives as an example. “Wasn’t it a nice and calm conversation? Weren’t we able to exchange points of view in a polite manner?”

In response, Dewdrop limits himself to nod, the final pieces of the puzzle starting to fall into place, allowing him to see the full picture. However, he remains unconvinced about the veracity of the Sibling’s words.

“If you’re nice to me, I respond in kind,” Alex states what it’s obvious to them. “If you’re an asshole, then I’m the same.”

“I don’t get it,” he counters, brows knitting behind his mask. “If I’m such an asshole, then why the hell do you even like me?”

Alex sighs again, although, this time it’s in sympathy. They realize that Dewdrop isn’t being obtuse or difficult on purpose, but that he’s just confused. It then fully dawns on them that the ghoul might have never felt romantic feelings toward someone else, nor have the same directed at him. And the realization makes the librarian’s heart break a little.

“Just because I don’t like the part of you that is insufferable, doesn’t mean I don’t like you at all,” they admit, showing him a small smile for the first time ever. “You’re really likable when you aren’t yelling obscenities and being mean to everyone you come across.”

They remember vividly all the times they saw the demon being kind to others, helping out around the abbey, joking in camaraderie with other Siblings and Clergy members. They also remember all the times they saw the Ghost Project’s rituals, either live or online, and how Dewdrop always acted so gently toward the audience, especially right before the final bow.

All those instances were the ones that made the Sibling grow interested in him, making them care for him despite never even exchanging words with him. And the more they saw him interacting with others in such a nice way, the more they longed to be able to delight in the same treatment. Thus why it hurt them so much to have the ghoul be an asshole to them. Although, now they are starting to understand that all of that was probably just the hellish creature’s reaction to his own feelings, which he must have not been able to comprehend then.

“You can be actually nice when you want,” the Sibling affirms, smile broadening a little bit. “That’s the part I like the most.”

The part they want to see more of. The part they want to interact with more. The part they wish he would show them more often. Yet they don’t dare to voice those desires.

It’s too soon for that, they think instead. Let’s give him time to adjust to this first.

And they are right on the money about that since the demon is still trying to process everything. Just the revelation alone that he likes the librarian and that they like him as well feels overwhelming. Best to tread carefully moving forward and let the fire ghoul go at his own pace.

“O-okay,” Dewdrop replies, unsure of what to say.

So, instead, he just asks what he wants to know the most. “What now then? What’s gonna happen next?”

“Well, if you want to get to know me better, books aside, you should just ask me.”

Alex’s smirk is confident, but not in a way that makes Dew recoil with nervousness. Instead, it’s reassuring, implicitly telling him that the ball is on his side of the court now, meaning he gets to decide how they proceed.

And with that, Dewdrop finally lets out a sigh of relief that takes all the weight off his shoulders.

In response to the Sibling’s last words, he nods once, assertively, while his ruby eyes shimmer with a glint of hope.

I guess things might start getting better now, hopefully, he thinks, smiling behind his mask.

However, before he leaves, there’s one last question he’s dying to ask.

“How did you know, though?”

“That you might like me?” They ask, one eyebrow raised and a small smile forming on their lips. “You’re not as stealthy as you think you are. I noticed you passing in front of the library several times in the past. Also, that time you hid here, you didn’t talk to me but glanced my way.”

The revelation that the librarian kept an eye on him when he thought they were oblivious to his presence comes as a shock to him. It even makes him a tad uncomfortable, forcing him to shift from one foot to another, realizing that Alex knew before he did.

“If you didn’t give a shit about me, you wouldn’t have paid me any mind. Yet you also never approached me, like you have other Siblings,” Alex points out, tiny smirk quirking their lips. “I have been thinking about it for a long while and talked about it with Margaret and Joshua. Even asked Mountain a few questions about you without revealing too much about my motives.”

As he listens to the progression of the librarian’s own musings and investigation, Dew can’t help but feel like a deer caught in headlights as well as he’s mesmerized by the Sibling’s cleverness. Despite the embarrassment at being figured out so easily, he has to admit that the other’s show of astute observation is not only endearing but a bit of a turn-on.

“Over time, the only conclusion I came to was that you might like me but didn’t know it yet. Also, your erratic and anxious behavior was a strong sign as well. Hard to miss the fact that I seemed to make nervous a ghoul well-known for his confidence and abrasiveness,” the librarian finishes their explanation, a bit of blush coloring their cheeks.

If they have to be honest, the intensity of the attention given by the fire ghoul is making them feel a little hot and bothered. People usually found their accurate insight and diligent observation skills to be more of a cumbersome feature than something to be praised. Thus, Dewdrop seemingly doing just that is enough to make the usually stoic Alex even a little flustered.

“Wow,” Dew limited himself to whisper, blown away by the other’s perspicacity.

Without a shred of doubt, Dewdrop was impressed and bewitched by the Sibling, wanting desperately to get to know them more as well as spend more time together with them. So, his decision over whether he would ask them out or not was already made.

“I swear to Satan, that little gremlin only gets more insufferable by the day,” Beatrice complains as soon as she loudly clicks her cup of tea on its plate.

She is attending the weekly Sunday afternoon tea gatherings held inside Sister Imperator’s office. With her are the aforementioned owner of the space, Cardinal Copia, Aether, and Joshua. They are occupying the sitting area of Seestor’s office, which houses a couple of couches, two armchairs, and a coffee table.

Beatrice and Imperator are sitting on one of the couches ‒the latter’s desk behind them‒, Aether and Copia sitting opposite them, and Joshua has taken residence on one of the armchairs between the two couches. Each of them has a cup of tea and its matching plate. The blend of choice is Earl Grey.

As it is customary for those occasions, they exchange the latest gossip going around the abbey as well as complain about whatever bothered them during the week.

It isn’t uncommon for Dewdrop to be a topic of discussion given how much trouble he stirs around the Ministry on a somewhat regular basis. And despite knowing that, Copia and the quintessence ghoul often have a hard time hearing the two older women complain about the fire ghoul.

“You tell me about it,” Seestor replies, sipping from her own cup.

Given the topic of conversation, she wishes she had some whisky at hand.

“What sort of trouble has Dewdrop gotten into now?”

Copia inquires with a sigh, looking between the two women. He’s dreading having to penalize the demon for some kind of misconduct or accident provoked by him. Although, he prefers doing it himself than having Seestor be the deliverer of punishment, given how harsh she tends to be.

“He has been to the library twice this week,” Joshua reveals, beating Beatrice to the punch.

He has one ankle crossed atop the opposite leg’s knee, balancing his tea cup and plate over the other. Overall, he finds the conversation entertaining, although a little worrisome.

“Oh,” the Cardinal says, brows rising almost to his hairline, before he lets out a relieved chuckle. “For a moment there I thought he had done something bad. Isn’t it good that he’s frequenting the library?”

“Not when he’s accosting my personnel.”

Beatrice is the one to answer, frowning as she admits the true cause of her displeasure. Thanks to that, Copia starts to understand better what has her so upset. Even though it wouldn’t be the first time Dewdrop has harassed a Sibling or a member of the Clergy (never in any grave way), he’s still concerned and wants to know more about what’s going on. Only then he’ll be able to help.

“What are you talking about, Sister?”

Before anyone answers his question, the other four individuals present share a look. It is then that it dawns on them that the poor clergyman has no idea of the recent development in the relationship between the lead guitarist and the young librarian he has been pestering as of late.

“Uh, well, you see…” Aether starts, trying to figure out how to break the news to the man. “It would seem that Dew likes one of the librarians. A Sibling.”

“Oh,” Copia repeats, a blank expression on his face. “Oh.”

The second “oh” is more stressed, signalizing that the Cardinal finally gets what they are talking about. And the realization makes him feel torn. On one side, he is happy for his ghoul, and more so for the prospect of his newfound feelings helping the demon deal with his anger issues. On the other, though, he feels hurt for being one of the last persons to find out, and through third parties at that.

He would have wanted to know from Dewdrop himself, despite knowing that the probabilities of Hell freezing over first are higher.

It still hurts like a bitch knowing some of his ghouls don’t trust him, even after everything they have gone through together.

“Like?” Seestor asks while she sneers, one eyebrow rising high. “Please, is he even capable of such feelings?”

“C’mon, he isn’t that bad,” Joshua tries to defend. “Right, Aeth?”

“Yeah, he has been getting better lately,” the rhythmic guitarist assures, looking between the two unconvinced women. “And I really think that Alex can help.”

“I don’t care what they do in their free time. They can sleep with the whole abbey for all I care,” the head librarian gripes. “As long as whatever they do with their private life doesn’t affect their professional one.”

It is clear that the woman won’t tolerate Alex’s relationship with Dewdrop affecting their performance at the library, which Aether and Joshua take note of in order to let the two involved know. After all, both, quintessence demon and archivist are invested in the growing bond between the fire ghoul and the Sibling.

They want the best for them, and they hope they end up together. In their opinion, they would make a great couple.

Beatrice and Imperator don’t see the whole affair with the same kind eyes, but both of them think the same way. If the relationship between them doesn’t get in the way of their jobs, then there’s no reason for them to intervene.

As for the Cardinal, his mind is still reeling from the bomb dropped on him. However, he’s already thinking about how he can congratulate Dewdrop (which he shouldn’t unless he wants to get told to “fuck off” by an outraged ghoul) as well as formally introduce himself to Alex.