Work Text:
Taehyung’s thumbs press mindlessly into the dark screen of his phone, as if his fingers, just waiting to type out a text, will summon a message from Jungkook.
Around him, the airport bustles with people eager to catch their flights and connections, or hurry off home so they can unpack and be reunited with their pets. Taehyung fidgets in his seat, but doesn’t move. He got here early enough to snag a spot near the front of the gate and doesn’t want to lose it.
He glances at the time on his phone. Twenty minutes until boarding. His stomach squirms uneasily.
Where is Jungkook?
Taehyung should have expected this. Jungkook is always hopping into meetings at the very last minute. Sometimes in a rush, always with a smile in his eyes, and never actually late. So surely signs point to the same happening here. It's just that this time, there’s an expensive flight at risk. Among other things.
Taehyung grips his phone in his hand and then stuffs it into his pocket. He and Jungkook don’t even text, anyway. What does it matter to him? It’s not like it’s Taehyung’s money. It’s not Jungkook’s, either. This is just a business trip, entirely paid for by their company.
A voice comes from overhead, announcing that their flight is going to begin boarding momentarily. Taehyung tries not to care.
It isn’t until their boarding group is announced, and Taehyung has finally resigned himself to the fact that perhaps he really is going to have to do all of this alone and is trying very hard to remain cool about it, that Jungkook suddenly appears beside him as if he’s materialized out of thin air.
He gives Taehyung a sunny smile, backpack strapped on his back.
“Wha- did you just get here?” Taehyung says, startled.
“Hm?” Jungkook hums. He’s got an enormous black hoodie and sweats on, dressed more casually than Taehyung has ever seen. He plays with his backpack strap, lip rings gleaming under the fluorescent airport lighting. “No, I’ve been here for a while. I’ve just been walking around looking at the stores.”
Taehyung knows there’s no reason he should feel a pang of hurt at the knowledge that Jungkook has actually been here the entire time, but he does.
“I just felt like moving around, especially when we’re about to be on a long flight,” Jungkook continues. He bounces on his feet a little. He really has never been good at sitting still. When he’s not in deep concentration at his desk, staring at his computer with intense, focused eyes, he’s always bopping around the office, humming songs in a way that should be distracting but is actually kind of nice. No one ever complains, and even the editor-in-chief of their magazine had once told him he had a good voice.
Taehyung might have liked to explore the airport too, though. Or at least he would have appreciated knowing Jungkook was here.
As if reading his mind, Jungkook adds, “I was going to come say hi, but you looked kind of focused in your headphones.”
Taehyung reaches up to touch the headphones that hang around his neck. He’d forgotten he’d been wearing them. They’re chunky and black and have amazing sound quality, but he usually wears them when he doesn’t feel like being disrupted. He loves talking to people, strangers included, but when he’s not in the mood, he’s just not in the mood. People tend to be good at respecting the headphones. He wears them at work all the time to get his writing done. Jungkook is no stranger to them.
“I wouldn’t have minded,” Taehyung says anyway.
Jungkook is saved from having to respond as they’re herded towards the gate. They’re beeped through, and as Taehyung boards the plane he feels Jungkook looming close behind.
He has the window, so he quickly stuffs his bag beneath the seat in front of him before squeezing in. Taehyung is pretty sure he’s a tiny bit taller than Jungkook, but Jungkook is just…bigger, so it makes sense for him to have the aisle.
Taehyung watches as Jungkook settles into his seat and pulls out a Nintendo Switch, alongside an impressive array of snacks He has M&M’s, Takis, mini pretzels, sour Skittles, and a pack of fruity gum. Taehyung thinks of the lone bag of gummy bears in his own bag. It’s funny, he thinks, how the two of them must look like two college kids and nothing at all like two employees of a prestigious film magazine on their way to cover a big movie premier in New York City.
Honestly, it relaxes Taehyung a bit. There are a number of other colleagues he would have felt more comfortable going with, and he had, in fact, had a small panic when he was told that Jungkook would be the one accompanying him to the United States, but it was silly, really. Jungkook is harmless. He’s easygoing and kind. Taehyung just wishes he’d known that when he’d first met him.
“Got enough snacks for the next thirteen hours?” Taehyung says, voice light, in an attempt to settle the air between the both of them. But Jungkook turns his eyes on him, big and wide. Taehyung shakes his head quickly, backtracking. He wasn’t mocking. “I mean, you’ve got a lot of good snacks.” Familiar frustration prickles at him. Why can’t he land a simple joke?
Jungkook looks down at his snacks, then back at Taehyung. “You can have some, if you like. I don’t mind sharing.”
“Oh, I wasn’t- ” Taehyung starts. He fiddles with his seatbelt.
Taehyung usually doesn’t struggle with people. He is, perhaps, sometimes more anxious with them than he lets on, but he’s pretty good at not showing it, and is good at finding some common, happy ground to steady himself on with others. He knows that’s one of his strengths as an art journalist, and making genuine connections is something he enjoys immensely about his work. But with Jungkook, everything just always ends up coming out wrong. It has since they first met. “I have snacks in my bag.”
“Oh, okay,” Jungkook says. He looks away again.
They’ve been on this plane hardly fifteen minutes and Taehyung’s palms are already sweating. He’s not sure how he’s going to last thirteen hours.
He brought his laptop and has some movies and a season of the anime he’s been watching downloaded onto it, and games on his iPad. He even brought a book! He decides he’ll take all these things out once they’re in the air. For now, he puts his headphones back on, turns on some music, and closes his eyes in an attempt to relax while the rest of the seats fill up around them.
It’s nearly thirty minutes later that they’re finally on the tarmac. Unfortunately, Taehyung’s anxiety has not abated and has, annoyingly, increased. Miserably, as the flight attendants give the safety instructions, he’s reminded of how much he hates take-offs.
He’s been trying not to think about it. He knows, statistically, how safe flying is, but try as he might to explain that to his irrational fear of heights, it does nothing to lessen his anxiety. He wishes, not for the first time, that it was Jimin who had been chosen to come with him. Jimin would have something comforting to say. Jimin would have a way to distract him. Jimin would hold Taehyung’s hand. Taehyung wishes more people liked holding hands. Of course Jimin does. The two of them have been on the same wavelength since the day Taehyung had been hired at the magazine and put on Jimin’s team. But Jimin is also a writer, and only one writer could be sent on this trip, with one photographer. And that photographer is Jungkook.
Taehyung watches the way Jungkook’s hand skitters along the armrest between them before he takes out his phone again and taps at it. Taehyung glimpses a picture of his dog, a doberman named Bam, before he swipes through his lockscreen. Then Jungkook puts it back and starts poking around at the screen on the seat in front of him, browsing through the movies. Taehyung looks away. Jungkook, ever in motion, is probably too restless to like holding hands.
Taehyung hastily pushes that thought from his brain. Instead, he thinks of Yoongi, the head of his writing team, who Taehyung knows loves to hold hands, if only he didn’t get so awkward about it. Sometimes when they go out after work with a few of the others, Taehyung sets his widest, saddest eyes on him, but Yoongi rarely ever cracks. And when he does, it’s only after a few drinks. The only one he’ll hold hands with sober is Jimin, and his cheeks get so adorably red that Taehyung can’t even be mad about it.
Unfortunately, Taehyung is dragged out of his thoughts when the caption says a quick cleared for takeoff over the intercom and the engines rev up loudly. Taehyung’s heart begins to pound again.
He closes his eyes as they pick up speed, folding his hands together tightly in his lap. He can hear the rumble of the plane even over the music he’s turned up loudly in his headphones. Then they’re off the runway, floating in the air, and it isn't until the plane goes steady that Taehyung lets himself begin to relax again.
When he opens his eyes, Jungkook is looking at him.
“I don’t really like take-offs,” Taehyung says a little defensively, feeling his cheeks go hot, even though Jungkook didn’t ask.
“Ah,” Jungkook says, nodding. “They’re scary.” Taehyung has the distinct impression that Jungkook doesn’t find them scary in the least- he probably doesn't find much at all very scary- and the words make him feel even more embarrassed. He looks away.
They settle into the flight, Jungkook turning on his Switch and Taehyung pulling out his iPad, and it isn’t long before the flight attendants start to bring out food. Taehyung keeps glancing at Jungkook’s game. It’s something he doesn’t recognize but thinks looks fun, and he realizes that he really wants to ask about it. Jungkook’s earbuds are in, though, and he’s got that big-eyed look of concentration on his face. Taehyung doesn’t want to break Jungkook’s focus and be the cause of him losing a life or something.
Eventually the meal comes, a bibimbap tray that actually smells quite good, and Taehyung doesn’t realize how hungry he is until he takes the first bite. Jungkook moves from playing his Switch to watching a movie on his screen in front of him, never taking his earbuds out, eyes wide and focused.
Taehyung has the sudden thought that if they don’t speak at least once this entire flight, he might actually go insane. He waits until Jungkook has looked away from his screen.
“Um.” He touches Jungkook’s arm very lightly.
Jungkook jolts, blinking, like he’s not entirely sure Taehyung actually meant to get his attention. He takes an earbud out.
“I-” Taehyung starts, and he realizes he should have planned this better. Making conversation with people is usually far easier than this. “I was wondering- what was that game you were playing?”e
“Oh,” Jungkook says, and glances down at where his Switch is stuffed beneath the seat. “It’s called Cloud Hoppers.” He looks back at Taehyung.
There are probably a million questions that Taehyung could ask about this game, but as Jungkook’s eyes continue to look into his, round as circles, Taehyung’s mind empties in a way it never does with anyone else.
“It looked fun,” he manages after a pause.
Jungkook smiles a little. “It is.”
They go back to their food, and Taehyung feels a distinct, pitiful sense of failure. Never mind, then.
He turns to his own screen on the seat in front of him. His food is nearly gone by the time he settles on something to watch, an animated movie he’s seen a dozen times already. Despite his failed attempt at talking with Jungkook, the food and movie comforts him.
Soon enough, the dishes are being cleared and the lights in the plane are dimming as people settle down to try to sleep. Taehyung had been sure he’d be too keyed up to sleep even though he’d slept badly the night before, rolling over in anxiety about this trip. He’d been plagued with thoughts of how his English isn’t good enough, even though he’d been working on it and was fairly confident in his online classes. He did well when he practiced it with friends who were already fluent, like Namjoon. He’s expected to interview several of the film’s English-speaking cast members, which is daunting. That had buzzed around his mind all night, and as well as stress about all the travel, and having Jungkook as a companion-
But it was an honor to be chosen for this trip after only a few months in his position, and Yoongi himself had recommended him for the task. Taehyung couldn’t let him down. He couldn't let himself down. He’d worked so hard to get here.
Now, thankfully, those thoughts are far away as sleepiness starts to set in as his movie drones on and the audio turns fuzzy in his ears. He’s so tired of worrying, of trying to find all the ways to be prepared, when he knows that most of his best work happens in the moment. All of his anecdotes and conversation topics and ideas, while they fail him with Jungkook, will work for him once he’s actually out there in the field, finding the story. He knows it will.
He lets himself melt into his seat, the last dregs of his stress seeping out of him.
Without any warning, the plane drops sharply.
Taehyung’s eyes fly open, his stomach swooping in abrupt terror, and he feels his seatbelt tug at his middle to keep him in his seat. He grips both armrests, his hand mindlessly overlapping warm fingers and gripping tight. He squeezes his eyes shut and chants please please please please-
The plane quakes and the engines roar even over Taehyung’s headphones, which continues to play the audio of the movie he’d been watching. The air squeezes out of his lungs as fear fills him instead, winking out all of his other senses.
He’s not sure how long it lasts, but Taehyung is convinced they’ve fallen halfway back to earth before the plane steadies itself. His heart continues to pound in his chest, hard and suffocating.
“...hyung, Taehyung.”
Jungkook’s voice comes in and out to him like waves crashing and receding, but the sound of it is warm. Taehyung finally opens his eyes, and it takes him a moment to realize that Jungkook has reached over and paused his movie, the sound gone from his headphones, and that he’s holding Taehyung’s hand.
Or, rather, Taehyung is holding his.
Holding is putting it mildly. Squeezing his fingers so hard they’ve possibly fractured is perhaps more accurate.
Taehyung gasps, then coughs because air still isn’t coming right, and he feels it when Jungkook squeezes his hand back.
“Hey, Taehyung-ssi, maybe if you put your head forward a little-”
So Taehyung leans his head right down toward his lap, staring at the metal of his seatbelt until he closes his eyes again, focusing on his breathing and the feeling of Jungkook’s warm hand in his.
Distantly, the sound of the seatbelt sign switching off again dings and the captain says passengers are free to move around again, but Taehyung doesn’t move. A baby cries from the front.
Distraught, Taehyung realizes that all the anxiety he’s managed to let go of has come roaring right back, perhaps even worse. He thinks, a little crazily, that he really isn’t cut out for any of this at all. He’s not sure how long it takes for his natural breathing to come back to him, but it feels like ages before finally, finally, his thoughts gain a semblance of rationality again.
He sits back up and is mortified to realize that his eyes are a little wet, and also that Jungkook is looking at him with concern on his face. Instinctively Taehyung’s hand twitches to let go, clammy in Jungkook’s.
Jungkook doesn’t let go. “Hey,” he says, regripping Taehyung’s fingers gently. “It’s okay.”
Gentle, gentle.
Jungkook is always in motion, and he’s intense about things when he sets his sights on them, but he’s always been gentle. Jungkook has always been very kind. Taehyung closes his eyes again, trying to let himself relax and failing. He wishes he had known that from the start.
The start had been six months ago, when Taehyung had first gotten his job at the magazine. He’d been managing his first day fairly well, remembering people’s faces and names and taking lots of mental notes during his training. It had certainly been a lot, but he was excited- after so many years and so many attempts to get himself into the professional art world, a job writing for a film magazine was something of a dream. He was determined to work hard, and he would do well.
He remembers meeting Jungkook because he remembers the first time he looked into his eyes. Always his eyes. They’d been big, and a little staring, as Taehyung shook his hand when they’d been introduced. This is Jungkook, one of our best photographers. He’d been there one year. Taehyung remembers thinking that he must really be good to get such high praise so early in his career there. It was impressive.
Jungkook had been perfectly nice and polite and told Taehyung that if he needed help with anything, his door was always open. “Not that I have a door on my cube,” Jungkook said in perfect accordance with office humor as he bounced on his feet.
“Well,” Taehyung had said, easily rolling with the joke, “when I walk by the cubes and see one with an imaginary door that’s open, I’ll know it’s yours.”
Jungkook had smiled, something bright but quiet. Taehyung remembers liking his lip ring.
If nothing else, Jungkook had been attractive from the start, but Taehyung had quickly turned that thought away. He couldn’t go getting crushes on his coworkers on his first day! He’d worked hard to get here, and he couldn’t let himself become unprofessional. Romantic by nature, Taehyung was well aware that was a weakness of his. He needed to focus. He needed to do well.
At the end of his first week, Yoongi and Jimin invited him for drinks to celebrate. Taehyung remembers feeling happy and warm at the invitation, even though it was likely something they did for everyone who was new.
Several other colleagues came along and Taehyung was excited, and a little nervous, to become friends with the people he worked with. Even though Yoongi and Jimin had told him he’d been learning fast and was doing well, everything was more overwhelming than he’d hoped he let on, and he hadn’t had enough time to get to know people very well yet.
He shouldn’t have feared anything, however, because the night went smoothly. Taehyung had a respectable number of drinks and became buzzed without becoming messy, and outside the confines of their workspace, he and Jimin clicked even more perfectly.
“Jimin-ah,” Yoongi said, tugging at the back of Jimin’s collar. “Give him space.”
“He doesn’t mind,” Jimin said, not moving an inch from Taehyung. “Taehyungie is my soulmate.”
Taehyung immediately felt himself smile, warm and pleased. He’d never been anyone’s soulmate before!
“I am,” Taehyung agreed, feeling brave even though Yoongi was basically his boss. Jimin preened.
Yoongi eyed them, sighing. “I should have known hiring someone the same age as Jimin would backfire on me.”
Jimin just giggled, and Yoongi didn’t look entirely displeased, and Taehyung thought, I think I’d like to work with these people for a while.
“Jungkookie!” Jimin said, loud voice in Taehyung’s ear, startling him. “Isn’t Taehyungie a great addition to our team?” Taehyung’s eyes caught on Jungkook across the table. He had two drinks in front of him, a half-empty glass of beer and something cute and fruity with a straw sticking out of it. He’d been fairly quiet so far, chewing on the straw, wide eyes looking across at the three of them.
Jungkook had simply nodded, eyes sticking on Taehyung for a moment, and Taehyung felt himself go a little hot under his gaze. Usually, Taehyung could deduce if a stare was supposed to be flattering or not. But usually, people didn’t stare with such blatantly wide, gaping eyes. It made Taehyung feel oddly scrutinized.
He hadn’t interacted with Jungkook since that first day, but he’d locked eyes with him more than once in passing, and each time, it was like this. Jungkook glanced very obviously between Taehyung and Jimin, and it gave Taehyung a sudden anxious feeling.
He’d only just started the job, he wasn’t trying to have dating rumors. He didn’t know if relationships with colleagues were even allowed. Or, worse, what if Taehyung had somehow taken the spot next to Jimin where Jungkook would usually be? And now Jungkook was sitting alone, drinking two drinks by himself.
As Taehyung tried not to spiral away into his thoughts, Jimin started teasing Jungkook about ordering two drinks. Jungkook immediately defended himself without shame, and Taehyung relaxed. He was making this up in his head. Aside from the staring, Jungkook had been nothing but nice to him.
He’d just really wanted all of this to work out.
So Taehyung had let his guard down, especially when, later, Jimin had disappeared off somewhere with Yoongi, and Jungkook had started actually talking to him, asking him about what movies he liked. It was an easy topic of conversation, one that broke through the awkwardness between them, and one that Taehyung had a lot to say about.
It had been a good night, and Taehyung had gone home happy.
And so it had caught Taehyung completely off guard when, Monday morning, he ran into Jungkook in front of the elevator, and as they waited for the doors to open, Jungkook asked him out.
Taehyung stared at him, stunned. Jungkook’s eyes, wider than they’d ever been, stared right back.
The elevator doors opened.
For lack of knowing what else to do, Taehyung got inside. Jungkook followed. The doors closed.
It was the wrong decision. Now he’d only enclosed himself and Jungkook into an inescapable place. Before he could think of any sort of rational response- before he could really even consider the question itself- panic welled up inside of him.
“No,” he blurted out.
Jungkook took the hit with a simple blink.
“I- I mean,” Taehyung said, palm sweaty around the strap of his bag. His heart fluttered like a frightened bird caged inside his chest. What did he mean? He meant what he said. The floor numbers few upwards “I only just started here and- I’m not really looking for- ”
The elevator dinged again and the doors began to open. Taehyung clamped his mouth shut, eyes frantically looking out into the hallway to make sure no one else was around to overhear. He looked back to find Jungkook watching him.
“Okay,” Jungkook said, far more politely than Taehyung had been, and stepped out of the elevator first.
Taehyung felt the urge to apologize. He wanted to explain better. He wanted to know why Jungkook was doing this at work of all places. He wanted time to formulate a better response.
He wanted time.
Thoughts jumbled in his mind, he didn’t say anything at all.
But Jungkook just smiled at him, face smoothing over like it was no problem. “I’ll see you later, Taehyung-ssi.” Then, just like that, like he hadn’t upended Taehyung’s entire morning, he disappeared down the hallway.
Taehyung had gone to his desk, still all sweaty and full of jitters, and tried to concentrate. It was only his second week, he couldn’t afford to be distracted at work. Not yet! Not until he knew the rules. Maybe, a few weeks down the road when Taehyung had the hang of this, when he knew how everything worked, when he wasn’t afraid that a wrong move could cost him a dream he’d worked hard for, if it was allowed, if Jungkook asked him then-
“Morning, Taehyung-ssi,” Yoongi said with Monday apathy as he strolled by, Jimin close behind.
“Are you alright?” Jimin asked, stopping to look at him.
Taehyung realized his feelings must be showing on his face, so he forced everything down and pulled on a smile. He nodded. “Good morning!”
Jimin smiled back. Later, Jimin would learn to question it when Taehyung did that sort of facial trick. But back then, their friendship was still only a week old.
After that Taehyung had hoped, perhaps in vain, that he and Jungkook could still become friends. He would, after all, still like to get to know him. But they could never quite find their footing, and even though neither of them had ever brought up Jungkook’s ill-fated question again, it hung between them for weeks. Especially for Taehyung, as it became clear that Jungkook’s big eyes were only ever kind, only ever curious, and only ever sweet, if sometimes shy and awkward with newcomers. Jungkook’s gaze carried none of the things Taehyung had been so skeptical of upon first impression.
It filled Taehyung with regret.
It’s a regret he still carries on this airplane to America. He wonders if he’d answered Jungkook differently all those months ago, they could be holding hands for a different reason.
He looks down at their fingers, intertwined loosely now that Taehyung’s panic has waned. Jungkook makes no move to let go. Taehyung doesn’t want to let go. The feeling of a warm hand in his grounds him. Comforts him.
He feels a little embarrassed about wiping at his wet eyes, so he just lets them dry on his face, even though Jungkook clearly saw it. It’s okay.
Slowly, slowly, his anxiety begins to settle.
It settles so much he begins tipping into exhaustion. He hasn’t rested well in so long. He forgot how much simple human contact eases him, the warmth of another human body melting into him like sweet, golden honey. During his childhood he used to cuddle his grandmother, his parents, his siblings, and rarely slept alone. Later, it was a few of the people he’d dated. More recently, Jimin, when they’d stayed over each other’s places after late nights.
Jimin, who’s dating Yoongi, who’s been dating Yoongi since before Taehyung started working with them. Perhaps if he’d known that, he wouldn’t have panicked so much when Jungkook asked him out. Or perhaps he still would have, knowing him.
He’s usually so good at disguising it, all his worries. He’s good at embracing his warm, outer-facing self in a way that hides it. But Jungkook has big eyes, and they see a lot of things.
As Taehyung sinks, powerlessly, into sleep, the warmth of Jungkook’s hand stays.
-
He’s not sure how much later it is when he wakes, but the plane is still dark and humming steadily. Taehyung picks his head up from where it had been leaning against the window, neck aching. Around him, people are still slumped over in their seats, asleep. In the seats diagonally across from him, a little kid watches a movie on his screen, one of the few sources of light.
There’s a weight against Taehyung’s shoulder. When he shifts himself slightly to look, a mound of dark hair brushes against his chin. Jungkook.
He glances downward.
Their hands are still held together, moved from between them to fit snugly into Taehyung’s lap. Jungkook’s arm hangs awkwardly over the armrest. Clearly, he didn’t seem to mind.
Warm. Everything in Taehyung feels full of a sweet, glittering kind of warmth.
He leans his head back against his seat and drifts off again.
-
The next time he wakes up, the lights are on and sunlight is streaming through open window shades.
He blinks his eyes open wearily, skin feeling puffy from sleep. He pushes his hair out of his face with his free hand, forehead feeling a little sticky, and when he looks down at his other hand-
It’s still in Jungkook’s. And Jungkook is awake.
Taehyung can see from the screen of his phone that he’s been scrolling through TikTok videos on the plane wifi. There’s one of a cute dog on the screen. But Jungkook is looking at him.
“Um,” Taehyung says, unsticking his throat. “Good morning.”
Jungkook’s lips quirk into a smile. “Good morning.”
Taehyung has no idea what time it actually is. The sun’s out, at least.
“Do you know how many hours are left?” Taehyung asks. He tries to stretch out his legs, which proves impossible. Also, he really has to pee.
“About three,” Jungkook says, glancing at his seat screen, where their flight progression is mapped out.
That’s not terrible. “Could I, um,” Taehyung starts, and finally retracts his hand from Jungkook’s. It’s a little sweaty. “I need to use the bathroom.”
“Oh, sure,” Jungkook says, and quickly scrambles out of his seat so Taehyung can get past. Taehyung’s legs ache a little as he stands up for the first time in hours.
In the bathroom, he splashes water on his face and looks at his reflection in the tiny mirror. His eyes are puffy, his skin is a little hollow, and overall he looks pretty terrible, but he supposes long flights never do anyone any favors. He takes a deep breath. Three hours left.
Three hours to, perhaps, make something of this.
He goes back out.
Jungkook is ready to stand and make way for Taehyung when he gets back to his seat, and instead of his phone he has his Switch in his hand. Jungkook sits right back down, and honestly, Taehyung is a little surprised that Jungkook hasn’t been out of his seat more. At work, he’s always up and down.
Not that Taehyung is complaining. Quickly, before he loses Jungkook to his game, he tries to select the most appealing topic of the conversation out of the selection he thought up in the bathroom.
However, it turns out he doesn’t have to.
Jungkook clears his throat. When Taehyung looks at him, he’s clutching at his Switch. “Last night,” Jungkook says, “you asked about the game I was playing? Cloud Hoppers?”
Taehyung nods. “It looked fun.”
Jungkook holds his Switch out. “Would you like to play?”
Taehyung blinks down at it. Then he looks back up at Jungkook and meets his eyes. He smiles a little. “Sure.”
Jungkook gives him a brief overview as the game loads up. “You have to bounce between clouds without falling, and different clouds have different difficulties, like rain clouds and thunderstorm clouds- ”
Half of his words roll right through Taehyung's ears as he goes into detail about sky creatures and how to earn rainbow points. Taehyung’s always been better at figuring something out as he goes instead of retaining verbal instruction. Jungkook’s voice does sound nice, though.
Jungkook passes Taehyung his Switch, and the game is trickier than it sounds. He keeps falling from the clouds and losing all his lives. But Jungkook helps him, leaning closely into Taehyung’s shoulder as he watches, a presence that makes Taehyung’s skin prickle. Soon enough, Taehyung makes it to the first sky castle and Jungkook lets out a small hoot of victory, pumping out his fist. Taehyung tries not to laugh as the woman sitting across the aisle looks over, annoyed at being disrupted from her continued attempt at sleep.
“I told you this game is fun,” Jungkook says as if Taehyung had made some sort of argument against it. Taehyung presses his lips together, ducking his head over the game and advancing to the next round.
It’s only when, sometime later, Jungkook’s Switch begins warning them of low battery life, that Taehyung looks up and realize that they’re descending. He hands Jungkook back his Switch and tries to stretch out in his seat, not realizing how cramped they’d become, shoulders hunched. It’ll be a relief to be on the ground, able to move as he pleases. He looks out the window again.
“Have you been to America before?” he asks Jungkook as houses on the ground slowly grow in size, their details becoming visible. He looks back around at him.
Such a simple piece of information is probably something they should already know about each other, and Taehyung wonders, far too belatedly, if he should have tried to use the last few hours to make conversation rather than just play video games. But he finds he doesn’t regret it. It was fun, and it had loosened something that had been wound so tightly between them.
Jungkook nods. “A few times. Mostly for work.”
Impressive. Jungkook’s always been so impressive. This is Taehyung’s first ever big work trip. “Wow.”
Jungkook meets his eyes, smiles a little shyly. “It’s not a lot.”
“I’ve only ever been to America once when I was a teenager,” Taehyung says. “For a school trip. We went around California and it was exciting to be so far away from our parents.” He pauses to think. “I liked the palm trees.”
Jungkook smiles a little wider at that.
“But honestly,” Taehyung continues, “I’d missed my parents so much. I wanted to call them so badly but it was expensive.” He blinks, realizing what he'd just said. “Don’t tell my old classmates that.” Then he feels himself flush, because why had he just told Jungkook that?
But Jungkook, even as amusement plays in his eyes, just gives a serious nod. “I won’t.”
Taehyung grows warm all over, and he makes a decision.
-
Soon enough they’re on the ground. Taehyung is grateful to be out of the tiny seat and into the wide, open airport that is full of so much room. Luckily, customs doesn’t take terribly long. When they grab their bags from the baggage claim, Jungkook helps an old woman lift her monstrous suitcase from the belt, all kind smiles, and Taehyung has to look away.
Jungkook’s good at figuring out where they need to go after that, which is lucky, because Taehyung can feel his brain growing fuzzy as jetlag begins to make itself known. He doesn’t think he should be as tired as he feels, considering his hand still burns with the echo of the reason he was able to actually sleep at all. His heart flutters stupidly as he walks slightly behind Jungkook, as he stares at the broadness of his back that is apparent even beneath his hoodie, at the way his hair is slightly mussed from the flight. He needs to say- he needs to act-
But they don’t really speak during the journey to their hotel, the meter tallying upward as their cab gets stuck in the long lines of New York City traffic. Outside, the sidewalks are full of people, and the street noises are loud even through the car doors. Taehyung wants to talk, but there’s something about a cab driver who won’t stop cursing at other drivers that keeps him quiet and self-conscious.
Checking into the hotel is, mercifully, quick. The building is sleek and fancy and modern, nicer than anywhere Taehyung has stayed before. His hands skitter around at his sides, playing with the strap of his bag, the handle of his suitcase. They get their keycards and head toward the elevators.
“I’m on floor thirteen,” Jungkook says.
Taehyung is not on floor thirteen, he’s on floor seventeen, and he’s suddenly gripped by the anxiety that this will be his last chance to see Jungkook before it’s time to report for their work event, and if he doesn’t take this chance now, all they’ll ever have had is that one plane ride.
Jungkook presses the elevator button.
“Wait-”
Jungkook stiffens and looks down at where Taehyung has grabbed his wrist. Taehyung lets go immediately, cheeks going hot. He hadn’t meant to do that.
Jungkook looks back up at him, face all cutely bewildered, and Taehyung almost chickens out right then and there. But he can’t. He won’t let himself.
“Do you want to get dinner together?” he blurts out, not giving himself any more chance to think. No preamble, straightforward. He knows the best way to get what he wants is to be direct. He thinks that’s something Yoongi told him once.
Surprise fills Jungkook’s face, his pierced mouth opening slightly. But luckily, Taehyung doesn’t have much time to panic, because then he nods, twice, quickly. Instantly, Taehyung is full of relief and incredibly wound up, both at once.
He knows what he says next should probably wait until they’re actually at said dinner, but the thought of waiting like, four hours until they actually get there is a little excruciating. It’ll just fester and grow in Taehyung’s mind as he tries to relax from the flight, and he won’t be able to rest off any of his jet lag at all.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “For that first time.”
Jungkook looks confused. “First time?”
“When you,” Taehyung starts. He looks around, finding it hard to meet Jungkook’s eyes. “Asked me out. And I said no.” His eyes flicker to Jungkook’s face.
To Taehyung's surprise, Jungkook’s cheeks flush red.
“Oh,” he says, and reaches up to fiddle with his lip ring, not meeting Taehyung’s eyes. “That’s okay. That’s- in the past. I was stupid to do that.”
The words sink in, and a sudden waterfall of icy mortification washes over Taehyung. I was stupid to do that. Oh. Of course. Jungkook’s had plenty of time to think of it since then. Duh. He probably only held Taehyung’s hand to be nice because he’d been so scared. Of course. Duh- how could Taehyung think-
Jungkook stops bouncing, eyes going wide as he looks at Taehyung. His disappointment must show on his face. “Wait," Jungkook says. "I didn’t mean- not stupid like- ”
Jungkook stops and collects himself as if he’s organizing his thoughts at record speed. Taehyung’s stomach churns, feeling sick.
“I mean,” Jungkook says. “The way I did it was stupid. It was your first week of work, and we barely knew each other. I know I overwhelmed you. Believe me, Taehyung-ssi, I’ve regretted so much not taking the time to become your friend first. It’s just sometimes, when I want something a lot, I just go into it headfirst.”
The elevator doors open. A few people step out, but neither of them get in.
Taehyung uses that time to absorb Jungkook’s words. “Oh,” he says. Belatedly, “You can call me hyung.”
For some reason, that makes Jungkook’s red cheeks flush darker.
Straightforward. Jungkook was just being straightforward, and determined, and the only difference between then and now is that the timing had been all wrong.
When I want something a lot, I go into it headfirst.
Taehyung feels his cheeks go hot. Jungkook had liked him that much, even then?
Taehyung looks at him, making himself brave. “I know how you’re ambitious about things,” he says. He tugs on the strap of his bag. “I like that about you.”
He does. He likes a lot of things about Jungkook, now that he’s learned them. Jungkook’s face stays flushed, eyes wide like he’s hanging onto Taehyung’s every word. So Taehyung chooses them carefully.
“But you’re right, I didn’t understand that about you then,” Taehyung says. “And you’re right about my first week of work. I was really overwhelmed. I didn’t want anything to mess up the job for me. I didn’t even know if dating was allowed.” His heart beats heavily in his chest. It feels scary, acknowledging this all out loud.
“Jimin and Yoongi are dating,” Jungkook says.
“I didn’t know that then,” Taehyung says. “After one week. Even if I had, I’m not- I’m not sure I would have…”
“No, I understand,” Jungkook says quickly. “Really, the way I did it was dumb of me. I’ve regretted it a lot. You don’t have to be sorry.” He starts bouncing a little, back and forth in his giant sneakers. There’s a whiteness to his knuckles from how tightly he grips the straps of his backpack.
Despite everything, a wave of fondness washes over Taehyung at the sight. He’s just- he’s so- he’s very- Jungkook.
And Taehyung likes him a lot.
They never managed to become friends, but that doesn’t mean they don't know things about each other now. Clearly.
I’ve regretted it a lot.
“So does-” Taehyung starts. His heart feels like it’s twice its usual size, beating hard beneath his ribcage. “Does that mean we can both have a second chance?” He clears his throat. “I’ve really been wishing for a second chance.”
The smile that blooms on Jungkook’s face at those words is so bright Taehyung’s heart grows another size.
“Yes,” Jungkook says. “Yes, I want a second chance, please.”
“Okay,” Taehyung says. His heart is beating so fast. “Okay, good.” He already asked Jungkook out for dinner. He doesn’t know what else to say. He just looks back at Jungkook, standing in the glossy hotel lobby across from him, who looks just as flushed and shy as Taehyung himself feels.
“Thank you, hyung,” Jungkook says, always, always polite, as if he actually has to thank Taehyung for this. He bounces once, twice. “I never stopped liking you.” Jungkook’s cheeks flush again, harder, but there’s a determination to the way he doesn’t look away from Taehyung’s eyes. Headstrong. Straightforward. Brave.
A new, true relief spills into Taehyung, and this time it’s paired alongside absolute giddiness. It wells inside of him, powerful and dazzling. Jungkook never stopped liking him, even when everything was awkward. Even when Taehyung could never land even one joke.
Abruptly overcome by it all, Taehyung hits the elevator button.
The elevator comes. They get inside, shoulders brushing, and everything about it is so different from the last time. Taehyung didn’t even mean to do that in front of an elevator! It’s rather cinematic, he thinks with some wonder.
The elevator travels up to the thirteenth floor at top speed, faster than Taehyung would like, and when Jungkook steps out, he gives Taehyung a sweet, easy smile. “See you later?”
Taehyung nods. His chest feels full of sun and blue sky. “See you later. I’ll text you a time!”
Jungkook grins fully. He nods, his eyes so bright, and then the doors are closing.
Taehyung lets himself smile, not caring if there are cameras in these elevators that will capture his little happy dance. When the doors open on his floor, he grabs for his bags and thinks that if he has anything to say about it, he’ll soon have Jungkook’s hand back in his, and he really can’t wait.