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Raindrops streamed down the window, sliding down and plopping off within seconds. As the minutes ticked away, the grey storm clouds outside grew darker. Almost no one remained at school; a few milled about for after-school activities or simply waited for friends inside, hoping to stay dry for as long as they could.
You sat in your classroom, gradually gathering your belongings for the day. You sat by yourself; not even the teacher was present. You didn't even have any friends to wait for you. Not anymore. They had all abandoned you, leaving you alone and helpless, victimizing themselves and blaming you for everything. It was mind-boggling to perceive them, and you refused to acknowledge their existence anymore than you had to. You buried the things they did to you in your mind and carried on with your life.
You were in desperate need of therapy.
But therapy is too expensive. It’s probably not worth it.
You didn't want to leave the classroom, yet you wanted to get out of the building and run as far away as you could. You were tense. You had to meet with your guidance counsellor to discuss your failing grades, and you were a nervous wreck about it. Your stomach rumbled with anxiety, and your legs shook slightly. Your eyes felt blurry and your hands were extremely sweaty. You wiped them on your shirt and rubbed your legs to get them to stop shivering.
As you quietly closed the classroom door behind you, your hands shook, no longer sweaty, but still annoying enough to make you twist your shirt in your left hand as the door clicked shut. Even though there was no one else in the hallway, you kept your head down as you started walking down it.
It wasn't unusual for your floor to be deserted after school. The majority of the club rooms were on the second-year floor, whereas you were on the third-year floor. The guidance counsellor's office was located on the first floor of the school. Thankfully, closer to the exit. However, you would have to go through the bustling second floor. If you were lucky, you wouldn’t bump into anybody you knew.
Outside, you could hear the pitter-patter of rain hitting the windows with increasing force. You had to move quickly or you'd be completely soaked. However, your growing anxiety about meeting with your counsellor and walking through the crowded corridor below you was subconsciously slowing your pace and causing you to take smaller steps.
“Calm down. It’s fine. It’s fine! You’re okay…” you half-heartedly tried to reassure yourself but ended up muttering under your breath over and over with no sign of the knot in your stomach going away. You were sure you sounded like a lunatic, the crazy student.
As you stumbled down the stairs, the faint sounds of laughter and the voices of students in their respective classrooms drifted over to your spot in the stairwell and got louder as you walked down the hallway. You picked up your pace and raced down the hall, the click of your shoes grounding you to reality until you got to the first floor stairwell, where you could no longer hear the sounds of jovial students. You sighed in relief and leaned against the wall to catch your breath, the chilly wall reliving your hot skin.
But even after this was all over, where could you really go? Even the prospect of returning home, where your parents would almost certainly belittle you for failing to maintain your grades once more, was almost enough to bring you to tears. The thought of your boyfriend was the only thing keeping you from completely breaking down in the middle of the staircase. Toru Oikawa, your sweet and kind boyfriend. The only light in your life that started burning two months ago. As you slumped against the wall, your mind drifted off to your first memories of him.
You discovered you were in the same third-year class as Toru after transferring from Itachiyama Academy to Aoba Johsai last year.
He'd been your typical playboy, constantly flirting with everybody who fell under his gaze (female or not) and charming any student who crossed his path. When he first met you, the new student, his first instinct was to charm and flirt with you. He had made it his personal mission to break you down and make you fall in love with him when you remained immune to his charms. It's ironic that in the end, it was Toru who fell in love with you first. He began acting like a love-sick puppy, always bringing you flowers and chocolates. You chuckled to yourself at the memory. The knot in your stomach loosened a bit, bringing you some peace.
Straightening your back and pushing yourself off the wall, you marched towards the guidance counsellor's office, rounding corners and walking down the linoleum halls until you reached the management office. You tentatively extended your hand and grasped the silver door handle, your hands sweaty once again. You swung the door open and stepped inside, where your guidance counsellor was grading papers.
“Pardon me? Mrs. Okamoto, I'm here." Your throat was unusually dry, so you squeaked. You were nervous, so of course it was.
Mrs. Okamoto spun around in her chair, holding a couple papers in her hand. Her glasses askew on her face and her usual flashy vest on.
“Ah! My lovely student! You’re here! Come sit, I’m just grading some papers. Let’s talk!” she said brightly. Mrs. Okamoto was always a cheerful and boisterous soul. She tried her best to deal with troubled kids and kids like you, but even so, she could be serious if she needed to be. She reminded you of a sweet aunt.
You sat down, clutching your bag and staring down at the floor. Mrs. Okamoto capped her pen and turned to face you, leaning forward with a much more worried expression on her face.
“Y/N, you are aware that your grades have been going down, aren't you? What exactly is going on?” Mrs. Okamoto voiced concern. You swallowed and searched for the right words. Nothing came out. Instead, you shook your head, your fists clenched tighter around your school bag.
Mrs. Okamoto sighed as she rubbed her eyes. “I know what happened with your friends a few months ago. I can tell it's been difficult for you, and I don't want to make any assumptions, but is there any trouble at home? Do you have a partner that you're having trouble with? You can tell me.” You closed your eyes and images flashed through your mind of your parents yelling at you and throwing glass bowls at you. You forced a smile and looked up.
“I’m fine. Sorry, I guess I just...I’ve been tired.” you lied, looking away from your counsellor and wishing you could leave. Your fingers were knotted tightly around the strap of your school bag, which was sure to wrinkle it.
“Well, I know how much you value your grades, whether or not you have any plans for after secondary education. So, if you’d like, I could refer you to a tutor or a program to help with these kinds of things-“
You snapped your eyes back to Mrs. Okamoto and practically yelled “No!”, effectively cutting her off and leaving her looking at you in surprise.
“I mean- no. No thank you. I don’t need one.” you mumbled, looking down at your bag with embarrassment and worry. Your parents were bad enough now, if they knew you had gotten so low that you required a tutor or a program, there was no knowing how far they might go. Better to be safe than sorry.
Mrs. Okamoto huffed but didn’t inquire any further. She looked you up and down and it was obvious she knew you were lying and that something was going on. Thankfully of course, nothing more was spoken of it.
“Alright then, you get more rest there, you hear me? Take care of yourself.” she spoke softly as you hurriedly got out of your chair and raced towards the door, opening the door and almost slamming it in your hurry to escape. Before you could leave, however, she said one more thing.
“Y/N. My door is open if you ever need to talk.” She looked hopefully at you with kindness in her eyes. Your heartbeat was going crazy. You wanted to leave, but you nodded and smiled lightly and proceeded to race out of the room.
As you ran, you skidded to a halt as you stood at the school's large entrance windows, looking out in despair at the heavy rain outside. Looking around, you hoped that someone had left their umbrella there by accident, or that a miracle would save you from being soaked to the skin. But it was in vain. You sighed, your gaze fixed on the approaching storm. ‘Fuck it,’ you thought, clenching your bag over your head and poising yourself to run. ‘I’m just gonna run as fast as I can. No two ways about it.’
You dashed away towards the Aoba Johsai gym, where your boyfriend and his teammates were practicing for an upcoming volleyball tournament, screeching like a bat. You knew he liked to stay late, but with the weather like this, he'd be leaving earlier than usual. That is, you would be able to spend the night at his place, thankfully. His family was very nice to you, and they were always warm and welcoming. His mother adored and spoiled you, lavishing attention on you that would have seemed overbearing to anyone else, but was the love and affection you lacked your entire life. She treated you as if you were her own child.
You raced under the small balcony of the gymnasium, where the doors were, but they were locked. You cursed and shook the door handles until they should have broken, but they stayed put and refused to budge. You sighed and collapsed against the wall, shaking the water out of your hair. You took out your cell phone and looked at the time. The text “4:25 Friday 23rd” flashed across your phone screen, illuminating your wet face. “Maybe I can call him...” you muttered, chewing your lower lip. You pressed contacts and went to press call on Toru's profile. The generic ringtone rang for a couple of minutes before his voicemail kicked in and his static voice filled your ears.
“Hello!! This is Toru-san! Whoever you are, leave a message or call again, can’t promise that I’ll pick up though, I’ll probably be with my beautiful partner! Ciao!”
You groaned and chuckled at the same time, one from realizing that he was in practice, so of course he would have left his phone in his school uniform in his locker, and two, you were there when he made his new ringtone, the second you two started dating. He had given you a big kiss when he said “beautiful” and winked at you when the message ended. At the time you thought it was cheesy, but…well you still thought it was cheesy, but you were cheesy too, seeing as how you had made a matching ringtone.
“Ugh, of course. This stinks.” you groaned, blinking hard and rubbing your forehead from irritation.
You were about to leave the app when you noticed a photo you had sent to Toru. On a sunny day, you're both holding ice cream cones and smiling wide, holding each other by the waist. A fair with several people and children running around and laughing could be seen in the background. The most recent date you both had. As you recalled the day, the memory brought a smile to your face. Since your parents (those damn bastards, as Toru so eloquently put it) had made you feel gloomy and repressed, Toru had brought you to the fair as a fun way to cheer you up. Getting you both ice cream and going on the rides made for a fun day all around. A pleasant distraction from the background noise of your life.
You turned off your phone and looked out at the pouring rain. Heavy bullets of rain smacked against the ground, the pitter patter sounding calm and soothing in some ways. Washing your worries about school, friends, and parents away.
In the distance, students could be seen walking home under umbrellas, chatting with one another and most likely discussing the new update of Animal Crossing or My Hero’s Justice, both of which were extremely popular in your city. Others dashed down the street, hoping to beat the rain. You sat for a few moments, watching people pass by and hearing the rain grow heavier and louder.
You were almost asleep when the gym door slammed open beside you, startling you awake and almost slamming into your face. You rolled out of the way in time and hastily got to your feet, brushing yourself off. As you glared angrily at your now sheepish boyfriend, the light from the gym illuminated your face and shined brightly in your eyes, making you blink a couple of times to adjust.
“Are you alright, my darling!?” Toru’s eyes widened. “ Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hit you! Have you been waiting a long time?” Toru cried out as he reached for you in a hug, but he couldn't because you stepped back, crossed your arms, and silently stared him down. He gulped and formed his cutest puppy face. “It isn't my fault! Coach Irihata kept us late because Matsu wasn't giving it his all today!” he pouted, pointing to Matsukawa, who appeared suddenly horrified and smacked Toru on the back of the head, causing you to snort under your breath.
“Oi, Shitty-kawa, maybe if you focused less on pouring blame onto others and more on improving your form then maybe we wouldn’t have had to stay so late today!” Matsukawa growled at Toru, causing him to rub his head and launch himself into your arms dramatically. “Y/N!! Matsu’s being really mean...let’s get out of here.” he fake-cried into your chest, wrapping his dizzyingly long arms around your torso and looking up at you with his best teary eyes. You noticed as he stared at your face, his eyes filled with what you assumed was worry and concern. It was all you could do not to hug him back and coo at him, telling him everything would be alright and that Matsukawa was a meanie. His antics were, however, amusing to you. Amusing enough to make you pat him on the head and give him a small smile, but you were still upset. Just a little bit.
“You made me wait, Toru! I've been out here in the pouring rain for ages! Is that how you treat your awesome partner?” You sighed and pushed him away, despite the fact that all you wanted to do was hold him close and inhale his scent.
Toru gripped your hand and brought it to his lips. “My love, you are amazing. I will never treat you in this manner ever again. And you can be mad at me for as long as you want if I do it again,” he murmured against your hand. Your face reddened as you averted your gaze, flustered.
“...Fine, fine, don't get all twisted up in your head. I'm sorry, dummy.” You reached up and kissed his brow, brushing his hair away. “Now come on, I don't think this rain is going to stop anytime soon, and I want to get home. Also,” you remembered as you turned to face the other members of the club. “Could you please tell me if anyone here has an extra umbrella?" You pleaded, "I don't want to walk home in the rain." The other team members shook their heads, not looking sorry in the least. You scoffed as you snatched Toru's hand and led him away into the rain. You shivered as cold water immediately pelted your face and already wet shoulders, trickling down your skin. You sped up your pace and dragged Toru along with you. “Let's go! I just want to get out of here.”
You suddenly stopped and spun around to look Toru in the eyes. “By the way...do you mind if I spend the night at your house? I figured it wouldn't be a problem since we didn't have school tomorrow...” Your voice sounded hopeful as it trailed off. You'd stayed at Toru's many times, mostly on the spur of the moment, and even though you knew he'd never turn you down, it still gave you butterflies to ask.
Toru looked you in the eyes for a moment before saying, "Of course, darling! Whatever you need.” He let go of your hand, interlocking your fingers. You kissed him on the lips quickly before sprinting towards Toru's house pulling him along with a laugh and a smile.
New chapter
You and Toru stood on his front porch, waiting for someone to open the door. He'd forgotten the key to his house in his gym uniform pockets, like the dummy he was. Now, they had to rely on Toru's mother being home for them to go inside. Of course the one rainy day a month, something like this had to happen.
You stood shivering, hugging your wet arms to keep warm as you waited for somebody to respond to Toru's incessant knocking.
“Hello? Let us in! Is there anyone at home?” Toru yelled so loudly that you were certain the entire neighborhood could hear him.
“C’mon Toru! Why did you have to leave your keys in your other uniform, dummy?” you sighed remorsefully, wishing you were dressed in your warm pajamas, instead of your cold uniform, which stuck to your skin. Toru scoffed at you and kept banging on the wooden door persistently.
Finally, after 10 minutes, the door swung open, revealing Toru's mother standing there with a frown on her face.
“Momma! “What took you so long to open the door?” he questioned as he approached his mother for a hug. She pushed him away and shook her head.
“Oh no you don't, not with those wet clothes. You can hug me after you've cleaned yourself up, young man,” she reprimanded, wagging her finger at him as he looked at her sheepishly. “And it took me so long to open the door because I was having my afternoon nap and you woke me up!”
“Ah, sorry Momma, I'll make it up to you by making you dinner tonight!” he replied, hoping to get in his mother's good graces. She sighed and raised her head to look at him, a smile widening on her face.
“Not tonight, honey, but you'll be helping me make breakfast tomorrow, especially since your sister and her husband are coming to visit.”
She suddenly became aware of you standing behind Toru, soaked to the bone and shivering. She pushed Toru aside and took a step forward to grab your arms and embrace you.
“Oh, how lovely! Toru, you didn't tell me Y/N was going to show up! Oh, dear, are you staying the night again?” She crowed, holding you at arm's length and running her eyes over you, no doubt inspecting your wellbeing. You nodded and smiled.
“Hello, Miss Oikawa. Yes, if that's okay with you, I'll stay here. I don't want to bother you if you have guests coming over early tomorrow-”
Miss Oikawa shook her head vigorously and grabbed you, pulling you inside the house. As the warmth hit you, you sighed in relief.
“Nonsense, honey! You're as much a part of the family as anyone else here, and we'd love to have you, like always. We all simply adore you!” Miss Oikawa sighed happily and patted your shoulders as Toru followed you in, shutting the door and effectively muffling the sound of the rain outside. “And what did I say? You can call me Mom, sweetie, no need for that nonsense about Miss Oikawa, it makes me feel old.” she smiled warmly, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she locked her gaze on you.
“...Ah! Of course, Miss- I mean, Mom,” you stammered. No matter how many times you came over, calling her Mom always made you a little embarrassed. However, that seemed to satisfy her need enough for her to let you go and proceed to the kitchen. 'Right,' you recalled, 'she asked me to call her Mom every time I’ve come over...'
With wide eyes, you glanced over to Toru. He smirked at you and poked out his tongue. You, too, huffed with embarrassment and stuck your tongue out at him.
“Now, Toru, why don't you take Y/N to your room and get them some dry clothes? Draw them a bath too while you’re at it, dear.” Miss Oikawa said, now standing at a sink, about to wash some dishes, it seemed.
“Sure, whatever you say, Momma. Let us go upstairs, darling.” As you removed your shoes, Toru took your hand in his and pulled you towards the stairs, leaving them a jumbled mess on the floor.
As he dragged you up the steps, you noticed you were both dripping water on the floor, which was a tripping hazard. But you didn't have much time to think about it because Toru was dragging you into his room before you knew it.
You'd been in his room before, of course; it was surprisingly neat for a teen's room, with only a desk and a bed with some dressers. A few posters for volleyball camps hung around his room, and you could see a stray volleyball rolled underneath his bed. His room was dark, save for a small sliver of light beaming through his curtains, which were drawn while the lights were turned off. You considered collapsing on his bed, but you decided against it. Water dripped off your body as though you were still standing in the rain and you didn't want to make the bed dirty. Instead you tossed your bag onto the floor next to Toru’s and walked over to his bathroom door.
“Haha, your mom is super excited every time I come over.” You laughed as Toru rummaged through his dresser, tugging at your shirt and leaning against the bathroom door.
“Of course, she loves you,” he stated simply, tossing you a shirt and some sweatpants. “You're like another child to her, and she makes sure you know it. And you do.” He scooped up some clothes for himself and stood up straight, staring you down. “But she was serious; you're like family to her.”
You smiled the widest you had in days. Miss Oikawa was a very kind and caring mother, as you could tell from the stories Toru told you and how she treated you whenever you came over. She never took her children for granted and always did her best to support them during difficult times. In a nutshell; nothing like your mother who was cold and cruel. Uncaring. Always assigning blame to others. She was never available for her family. Your smile faded as you stood silently clutching your boyfriend's clothes and staring at the wall.
“Y/N?”
The mention of your name jolted you out of your daze and brought you back to reality. Wet and cold. Yikes.
“Yeesh, sorry. I kind of zoned out there. Not to worry, I should probably take a bath right now anyway. Will you go first, or will I?” You pondered, rubbing your brow and mentally checking yourself to ensure you didn't "zone out" again.
With a shake of his head, he spoke, “No, love, I’ll take my bath here and you can take a bath in the bathroom of the spare guest bedroom. We just restocked it a week ago, so it should have everything you need. You know where it is, don't you?” You nodded as you exited Toru's room and walked down the hall, past his mother's room, and into the guest bedroom at the far end of the hall. You didn't bother locking the door when you entered the bathroom.
Anyone could tell you were in the bathroom, so even if they walked into the guest bedroom, they would hear the sounds of tap water running inside the bath.
You stripped off your clothes and tossed them into a pile, placing Toru's clothes on the counter. Straightening up, you looked in the half-length mirror at yourself. You appeared sicker than usual. The rain had made your hair completely flat, and your dark circles under your eyes stood out. You appeared...hollow. It's no surprise Toru was staring at you earlier. He noticed how lifeless you appeared. What a sick person. What a sad reflection.
You wrapped your arms around your torso, noticing the bruises from a few days ago. They were worse now than from before, the color had spread further across your skin and stung when you touched them. These bruises inflicted from your father. Heavy books were thrown at you for failing to clean the house properly. What a stupid, useless reason for harming a child. Not to them it seemed.
You had no reason to keep staring at the greenish-purple bruises, so you didn't. You turned away, albeit rather slowly, and sat at the tub's edge, filling it with hot water. You shuddered as your skin made contact with the icy cold porcelain. It only served to make you colder and more eager to sink into the steaming water.
You sighed with relief and comfort as you slipped into the tub. 'Finally, a relaxing, warm bath.' you thought as the heat melted into your bones, relaxing your muscles and making the cold that had settled into your skin seemingly disappear instantly. You sank deeper until your head hit the tub's edge. You could almost fall asleep in the water as you closed your eyes.
‘Just for a minute.’ you thought as a feeling of weariness washed over you.
Well, who would be dumb enough to fall asleep in a body of water you could possibly drown in?
…
…
...
When you heard a knock on the door, it seemed like only a few seconds had passed.
With as much effort as you could muster, you opened your eyes sleepily and murmured, "Come in." Toru was the one who peered in and noticed you were still in the tub. You flushed and tried to cover yourself as much as possible, but Toru, ever the gentleman, turned his head away instead.
“I'm sorry, darling; you were in here for a while, and I was worried. Is everything all right?” he inquired, his tone concerned. For a brief moment, you were puzzled. "For a while"? What? ‘How?' you wondered, before noticing that Toru was now dressed in a new shirt and pants, with a towel thrown around his neck.
Answer to your earlier question? Yeah, you! You were dumb enough to fall asleep in a body of water.
You flushed with embarrassment and shame as you realized you had actually fallen asleep in the bath. Guess it wasn't a fantasy after all.
“Oh no, I must have dozed off in the bath. It was so relaxing...” you sighed as you sank into the water. However, it was no longer steaming hot, but rather lukewarm. It was no longer possible to unwind. Instead, you straightened up and looked around for a towel.
“Shit, why didn't I bring a towel?” you muttered under your breath. Toru laughed and handed you a towel while still looking away, his face pink. “I brought you one, you silly goose. I forgot to give you one, so here you are.”
Taking the towel, you stepped out of the bath and wrapped the soft material around your torso. You stepped onto the bath mat and shook your body like a dog, sending water flying everywhere.
“Hey! What the heck Y/N!” Toru laughed, opening his eyes and flying out of the bathroom to avoid getting splashed. He still did, but not as much.
“Haha! That’s what you get for walking in on me! Perv!” you teased, holding the towel and slamming the door shut.
“I’m not a perv!” and some clattering was heard through the bathroom door as you heard Toru slam the guest room door shut and stomp down the hallway.
Locking the door and still giggling, you put on the clothes laid out on the counter. As you reached to put on the shirt, you noticed it was the t-shirt you had given Toru at your house. The faded red and blue colors of Sailor Mars, Toru’s favorite Sailor Guardian. You bought it as a gift for him, but you spilled bleach on the front, and ended up not giving it to him. You gently fingered the more faded stain on the front, just above Sailor Mars’ head. He ended up finding it mere days later in your closet and took it anyway.
Bringing it to your nose, you inhaled the signature and comforting scent of jasmine, white tea, and nice cologne. It was just so...Toru. Standing there for a few more seconds, you quickly stuffed your arms into the shirt and ruffled your hair with the towel. You never got to shampoo your hair. You sighed and wrapped a wet strand around your finger. It would have to wait.
Stepping out of the bathroom, you were about to exit the guest room when you suddenly heard thunder. You flinched and looked over where there was a window situated. Walking around the large guest bed, you pulled aside the curtains to see a completely dark and cloudy sky, so rainy it was almost impossible to see anything through the thick curtain of water. Lightning zig zagged across the sky and a few moments later, thunder clapped loudly once more, making your body flinch in reflex.
“Wow, the rain got really bad...It’s a storm now. Good thing we didn’t stay at school too long.” you muttered under your breath, closing the curtains and walking out of the guest room. The moment you reached the stairs, the smell of something cooking hit your nose. It smelled heavenly, you were practically salivating as you almost jumped down the stairs, two at a time to see Toru carrying dishes to the dining table. Behind him, you could see Miss Oikawa stirring something in a large pot. That was where the smell was coming from.
“Ah, I’m so sorry I took so long- I could have helped.” you apologized, feeling bad about staying in the bath for so long.
“Oh it’s alright dear, it’s good to relax and take a breather. You looked like you needed it anyways.” she joked, waving a large wooden spoon around. “Go sit at the table! Food will be ready in just a minute.”
Joining Toru at the table, you sat down and watched him place 3 bowls, one in front of you, one on the other side of the table, and the other right beside you, where you assumed he would sit. As he sat down, Miss Oikawa brought over a large cooker and placed it down on the middle of the table, on top of a well-loved table mat. She sat down at the far end of the table and put her hands together. “Thank you for this meal.” You and Toru followed suit.
Miss Oikawa opened up the cooker to reveal shrimp fried rice with yum-yum sauce. Ah, a classic at the Oikawa household, and something you had eaten plenty of times. You never got tired of it though, as you hummed with happiness as Miss Oikawa poured you a healthy serving of rice. You could practically hear your taste buds thanking you for the good food.
“Ah, Miss Oikawa, this food is delicious! Thank you so much for making this.” you profusely thanked her, swallowing down your shrimp. You tended not to get any opportunities to settle down and eat a lot, especially at home, so you tried to eat as much as you could whenever you could.
You scarfed down the food, stopping once or twice only to drink some water. Toru stared at you with horror and begrudging amusement in his eyes as he slowly ate his food. Not that you noticed, seeing as how you were stuffing your face a mile a minute.
Finally finishing your third bowl, you plopped down the bowl and sighed happily. You looked over at Mrs. Oikawa, who looked on in amusement and finished up her own bowl while Toru reached over the table, grabbing a tissue.
He gently grabbed your chin and tilted it towards him, raising the tissue in his hand and dabbing it on your face.
“Ah, do I have something on my face?” You mumbled, trying to reach for it with your own fingers. Toru knocked your raisin, fingers aside and dabbed harder at your face.
“No, I’m just dabbing at your face because it’s so pretty- OF COURSE YOU HAVE SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE.” He scoffed at you and finished cleaning your face, rubbing his thumb over the corner of your lips and making your face heat up.
You swatted his hand aside and rubbed at your face, trying to settle the blood that was rushing to your face.
“Jeez, okay okay. No need to be so rude.” You muttered as Mrs. Oikawa laughed across the table. You flushed again and laughed nervously while Toru pushed his chair back and started to gather the dishes. Mrs. Oikawa did the same.
You grabbed your own dirt dishes and took them to the kitchen, placing them gently in the sink while Toru stuck the leftovers in the fridge. Mrs. Oikawa put on her apron and gently patted your back.
“I’m glad to see you enjoyed your meal, dear. There’ll be enough for tomorrow’s lunch, if you end up staying that long, which I hope you will.” She hummed warmly, smiling and grabbing a dish and a sponge. You laughed and rubbed the back of your head.
“Aha, yes! I always love your cooking Mrs.- Mom. And ah- I’ll see if I can stay that long, I’d definitely love to.”
Mrs. Oikawa hummed and turned away.
“Well, why don’t you two head upstairs while I do some chores. I’ve got to prepare for our guests!”
“Yeah, let’s go darling.” You squeaked as Toru grabbed ahold of your hand and gently pulled you out of the kitchen and up the stairs once more. But slower this time, no rush, the rainwater from earlier long gone, you now noticed.
Toru pulled the door to his room open and you stepped inside, this time plopping onto his bed with no hesitation. You sighed happily and burrowed into the soft sheets, pulling a fluffy pillow towards your body and wrapping your legs around it. Closing your eyes, you inhaled the clean detergent scent of the sheets; freshly washed.
Toru followed suit, turning towards the ceiling as he pulled his phone out. The green and black lighting of Spotify illuminated his face as he scrolled through his phone, tapping for a couple of minutes before he smiled and tapped shuffle on his playlist.
“Back- back- backstabber! … Back- back- backstabber! … Back- back- backstabber!”
Music flooded the room as Kesha started playing. Your eyes flew open as all the memories from the past few months came flooding back to you in the moment. Your parents, your ex-friends, school. Everything. Your head started to spin. Your hands started to shake, gripping the sheets tighter, until they turned pale and sweaty. You couldn’t do this. It was too much. Your eyes squeezed back shut.
Leave.
…
Leave.
I’m sorry!
Please don’t do this to me.
I’m sorry.
…
“Haha, this is such a nice song. Kesha is honestly such a queen-“ Toru started to speak as he rolled over to look at you. His eyes widened when he noticed tears tuning down your face sideways, leaking out of your eyes and going past your nose, leaking into the bedsheets. Your clenched hands, your quivering lips.
He gently cupped your face and rubbed your cheeks with his thumbs.
“Y/N? Are you alright? Darling, tell me what’s wrong? Is my music taste really that bad?” He laughed weakly, trying to lighten the mood. He leaned over to turn off the music on his phone but you stopped him.
You shook your head, leaning into his hands, your hands still gripping the bedsheets with an intensity that a professional bull-rider couldn’t rival.
“I- just-“ you tried to form a sentence in between your choked sobs. You kept choking up when you tried to speak, the tears flowing even more freely now.
“Hey, hey.” Toru spoke softly, bringing your body to his and tucking your face into his chest.
“You don’t have to say anything until you’re ready. Just, let it out for now. It’s okay Y/N.” he murmured softly against your hair, leaving little kisses against your head.
“…All my troubles on a burning pile, all lit up and I start to smile and if I, catch fire then I change my aim, throw my troubles at the burning, place…”
You shook more violently than before and sobbed into his shoulder, having let go off the sheets before and now grabbing ahold of his shoulders, scrunching it with your nails.
That’s how it went for what seemed like forever. You sobbed into Toru’s chest while he pressed kisses against your forehead and whispered soft encouragement to you. The tunes of different songs played in the background, serving as noise to fill your ears.
Eventually, you ran out of water in your body to cry with, and you just leaned your head against his chest. You felt…calmer. Now that you had sobbed for a good amount of time, you felt like you could speak again.
“You okay?” You heard Toru whisper above you, and you shrugged, closing your eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths to calm your heart rate, which was going a mile a minute.
“Do you want water?” He asked. You nodded and shuffled aside so Toru could get out of bed. Your throat was really dry and scratchy; some water might do you some good.
When Toru came back, he found you huddled in the warm part of the bed, where you both had been laying. He sat down next to you, the bed creaking and making you shift to look at him. You spotted the glass of water in his hands and sat up.
Rubbing your tear-stained eyes, you coughed and grabbed the glass of water, downing it in one gulp. Clutching the glass in your hand, you mumbled a small “Thanks.” as he gently took it from you and set it down on his bedside table.
Toru took your hands in his and rubbed them softly. “Hey. Y/N darling. Do you want to talk about it?” he spoke softly as you looked up to meet his eyes. His stunning eyes. Enraptured with you it seemed.
“It- it’s just been hard. There’s uh…” you paused, thinking of what to say. Even after crying for so long you were struggling to find the courage to voice your thoughts.
You took a deep breath and as you let out a breath, you started speaking slowly, so as to not start crying again.
“The whole situation with my friends, my family, and school…” your already scratchy voice cracked and you sniffled. Toru squeezed your hands gently and the warmth comforted you enough to keep going.
“My grades are dropping so fucking low, and my parents…well you already know how bad it’s gotten with them.” You chuckled wryly. “Everything feels like shit right now.”
You both sat there for a minute silently before Toru moved your body into a position where he could wrap his arms around you. You were facing away from him, but his chin rested on your shoulder, his voice loud next to your ear.
“Darling…you know your grades don’t define your worth, right? It’s not the end of the world if you fail a few classes.” He stated, rubbing your stomach soothingly.
“But…my parents…” you started speaking, but Toru made a sound of indignation and you paused, slightly curious.
“Ugh, your parents,” Toru clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Honey, if they ever hurt you in any way you can come to my house. You know my mom will do everything in her power to make sure they can never hurt you again.” You laid one of your hands against Toru’s hands and locked your fingers with his.
“I-I know. I’m grateful, but it still hurts. My friends are gone too. It’s been months but the memories give me nightmares.” You mumbled, turning your head towards the soft sheets (the part that wasn’t soaked with tears).
“They don’t deserve you. You will find people who will love you regardless of your flaws and your interests.”
“…”
“You know, I think I read somewhere that everybody outgrows their friends at some point in their life. I think this is that point for you. Which means that your next friends will probably stick around for the long haul.”
“…You really think so?” Your voice was muffled by the sheets, but you turned it away from the bed and twisted your body around so you were facing Toru again. He brushed a stray strand of hair away from your face.
“Of course. I’m really smart after all! I know what I’m talking about.” He grinned widely as you playfully rolled over and away from Toru.
You laughed loudly, “Smart? I don’t think so.”
Toru frowned, but he laughed and crawled over to you. You sat up, shaking with laughter and in doing so, accidentally fell off the bed, onto a soft carpet. Not soft enough, unfortunately, to save you from the hard conk of your head hitting the floor.
You rubbed your head as Toru peeked over the edge of the bed in alarm.
“Are you okay?” He asked, holding his hand out to you. You groaned but grabbed his hand and pulled yourself into a sitting position.
“Ow…yeah I’m alright.”
Toru smiled and laid back on the bed. “And that’s what you get for calling me dumb.” He stuck his tongue out at you.
“I didn’t call you dumb, I just didn’t agree with you being smart.” You hummed and flopped down on top of him as he let out an oomph. You raised your head to press your lips in a quick kiss against his lips, only for Toru to pull you back when you stopped kissing him.
He pulled you into a more passionate kiss, the salty taste from dinner earlier still lingering. He rolled you over so he was now on top of you, his knees caging you in. You wrapped your fingers in his soft hair and pulled him closer.
The storm outside was going strong as you and Toru kissed lovingly. But you barely heard the roar of thunder over the hums from you and Toru. For now, everything felt okay. For now.