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With particular emphasis on the ‘O’ in ‘Cheen-O’, the call-response shout echoed around the back of the soccer quads. Repressing a grin, Ryan and Summer walked towards the source of the chant, Luke and Zach.
“I’m guessing you two went to the Cohen school of stealth” Summer said as Ryan turned away to partially obscure his smile..
“Ahh, well…It’s just a place name, Sum. Could be for anyone”, Luke said, clearly not convinced by his own excuse.
“Yeah, just your nickname for me since day one”, Ryan turning back towards them, still smiling. “…And there is definitely no-one else from Chino here. Trust me, I asked Doctor Kim”.
“Ahh…Well, sorry man”, Luke said, holding up his hands slightly. “But the good news is Pittsburgh is far from here…I’ve got Lindsay running interference”, Luke said proudly.
“I’m sorry, is she a gulf war pilot or Tom Brady?” Summer asked, as both her and Ryan raised an eyebrow in tandem.
“I mean, either way it sounds like she won’t be overhearing any Chino-chants” Zach added.
“She really is a lucky girl”, Summer shot back without missing a beat.
“Anna did mention you and Lindsay might be…getting along better…”, Ryan said, keeping an eyebrow raised.
“Thanks to some quality wing-men…Wing-women?” Luke’s face wrinkled in confusion.
“Really on a fighter pilot theme today, huh Ward?” Summer said, turning to Zach. “Did you manage to talk to your sister about the sound system?”
“Sure did Sum, she said it was a-okay, I’ll drive it over Saturday afternoon if that works?” Summer turned to Ryan to confirm.
“That’d be great, thanks man”, Ryan said as the bemused expression on his face gave way to relief. “Me and Sandy just raided the Balboa Lighthouse as well…It is looking good”..
“My old man set me up with a big old van yesterday. So transportation is covered off, dude” Luke said, crossing his arms, a triumphant smile across his face.
Turning from Luke to Summer, Ryan let out a contented sigh.
“You know, this might actually work”, he said warmly.
“Don’t sound so surprised Atwood. From the moment you came to me, it was destined to work”, Summer said, proudly gesturing to Zach and Luke.
“Nothing has gone wrong…” Ryan replied absent-mindedly. “Feels weird”.
“I’m chalking it up to a lack of Cohen personally”, Summer replied, causing Ryan to pause.
“No yeah, that could be it actually…”
Watching Ryan closely, Summer saw his eyes lose a bit of their shine as concern crept in.
“But it doesn’t feel great…That he isn’t here…” Watching his mouth twitch, Summer nodded.
“Me and Sum are keeping an eye on him, Chino” Luke said, unable to replicate his previous, easy going tone. “And Marissa and that Alex chick…Honestly Chino, I think they are happy. Just keeping their distance…You can’t blame ‘em”. Ryan nodded, wincing.
“I guess not…I just wish…Wish it wasn’t like this” Ryan said, with a small, pointless gesture.
“It is okay Ry”, Summer said. “Everyone is working out their new groove”. Summer watched cautiously as his fist gently tightened.
“How are things at home anyway? With Seth?” Zach interjected, genuine concern in voice.
“Yeah…It is good. We talk like normal, hang out, video games, films, comics whatever…Feels like everything is basically the way it was until we leave the house…Then he is nowhere to be seen…”
“I mean, he came to the water polo the other night?” Zach countered.
“True…True”, Ryan said, momentarily glancing away. “Hopefully a good sign”.
“Maybe the four of us should go somewhere? Camping, surfing, something like that. Broski weekend?” Luke said, turning to Zach.
“Could be fun”, Zach said, looking at Summer. Summer, in turn, rolled her eyes.
“Yay, more shared activities between my ex and my boyfriend…”
Seeing Zach’s ‘confused puppy’ expression, she smile and relented.
“You should. Maybe it’ll do him good…Just…Y'know, don’t unionise or anything…” Zach smiled and nodded.
“Thanks Sum…” Looking down at his sports watch, he turned to Luke. “Bro, we need to get back”.
“Ahh nuts…” Luke said, looking up at the sky. “But we did good, right Ry? Green light for tomorrow? Not gonna get cold feet again are ya?”
“Better than good man, thanks. Both of you”, Ryan said, engaging in the increasingly ornate handshakes Luke had been pushing recently with both of them. “If I don’t see you before…See you tomorrow, and thanks again. Owe you”.
“You can be on fire duty when we go all Into The Wild my dude!” Luke said, as the two of them jogged off.
“Somewhere along the way…I think the heat fried their brains…” Summer quietly, once they were alone.
“I didn’t want to say anything…” he looked down, raising his eyebrows. Upon seeing the look of bemusement on each other's face, the two of them let out quiet, nervous laughter.
“You know, Ryan…Sometimes it still takes me by surprise….Just how different Zach is from Cohen…I mean, I guess you must be having that feeling as well, An-” she stopped mid-sentence.
Concerned, Summer glanced up to Ryan. His face had become impassive.
“Anna is very different from Marissa…” Ryan said after a moment of silence, finishing her thought.
Sliding his hands into his pocket, he cleared his throat.
“I mean, I’m okay to talk about this, if you are?” He paused, taking a breath “Friend to friend. No judgement”. His voice had become deeper, more pensive.
“No judgement…” Summer replied, nerves audible in her voice, toying with the words like food on a plate. “Not an offer I can afford to pass up, Atwood. Don’t let me down”
There was a pause as neither of them made the first month, both keeping slight, awkward smiles on their faces to try and reassure the other.
“Then I’ll go first…I’m sorry. If I’ve made things difficult, for you…With Marissa”, Ryan said, stumbling through each word.
“Ryan…” Summer said, Ryan thought it sounded almost like disappointment. “You weren’t…You didn’t…” She stopped for a moment, collecting her thoughts. “Life made things difficult for Coop. You aren’t responsible for what her dad did…Or what her mom does. You did so much for Coop. Please, don’t forget that”.
After a deep breath, Ryan gently nodded. Summer could tell he wasn’t convinced.
“Sometimes it feels like I didn’t do enough”, he said, a sad, crooked smile on his face.
“You never feel like you’ve done enough…For anyone”, she matched his sad smile, moving towards him. “You can’t save all of us Atwood. Let me help Marissa, she doesn’t need a white knight….Right now, she needs friends”.
Ryan took a second to respond, Summer kept eye-contact, hoping to see recognition. After a moment, it came and Ryan nodded, more genuinely this time.
“I’ll try to keep that in mind…”
“I know you are wired a certain way, ya big hero…” She said, lightly punching him on the arm. “Just, y’know, imagine my voice in your head. If that isn’t too weird”.
“Honestly? You’ve said weirder”, he said, his serious face giving way to a small grin. “But I appreciate it, really”.
“And besides”, Summer said slyly after a moment. “I can’t have made things easy between you and Cohen right? Can’t be much fun constantly hearing about me over breakfast or in your pool house. I don’t have to live with Coop. Her parents aren’t my parents”.
“That is his call, not yours…”. After his reflexive response, Ryan looked up to see Summer beaming at him. “Like you just said…”
“Well, there you go…Now show yourself the same kindness that you show me…”
Catching himself about to protest, Ryan let a small laugh escape his mouth.
“Huh, clever…”, he said, raising both his eyebrows.
“I have my moments”, she said. “And it did help that you fell for it hook line and sinker. I knew if there was a chance to blame yourself you’d charge right for it like a bull seeing red”.
The pressures of a long year dispersed slightly as they laughed.
“Ouch…” he clutched his chest, though laughter tinged his voice. “Well, speaking of different…” Ryan said, running his hand through his hair. “I know that you can handle Seth…but for what it is worth, off the record. I think Zach seems cool. He seems to make you happy…And he is
very
understanding when it comes to Seth”.
Watching carefully for her reaction, Ryan watched Summer’s eyes briefly lose focus. An earnest smile spread across her face, taking another moment before it reached her eyes.
“Thanks Atwood…It means a lot to hear you say that, given the Cohen connection”. A small, nervous lap escaped her lips. “This is going to sound weird but…I wasn’t expecting it to be so different…” she sighed, her voice softening. “I think I’m just getting used to a different type of love”.
Silence fell between them for a moment. The silence that falls when two people know they have more to say to one another. After a summer of being guarded and unsure, injured and traumatised. They realised they now felt an odd sense of liberty.
Even though Ryan had found himself immersed in this silence many times before, he did something that didn’t come naturally. He spoke first.
“While we are putting our cards on the table…I wanted to thank you. For being there for Anna. It means a lot that you were there for her, for us. After everything with Marissa and Seth…Feels like we kinda nuked your summer…”
Seeing that Summer had started to shake her head, Ryan trailed off.
“Ryan, you two didn’t destroy my relationship with Seth. You didn’t make him sail away. That was all him”. She finished with a harsh emphasis on the last two words, before her voice softened. “You are not your brother’s keeper, and Anna certainly wasn’t…”
Sensing that she wasn’t finished, Ryan inclined his head ever so slightly as Summer took a deep breath.
“And Coop is my best and oldest friend, but nothing about what happened changes how I feel about Anna. She is incredible, I’ll never forget how she treated me after she and Cohen broke up. She had every reason to hate me…And yet she helped me when I really needed it…Without her me and Seth wouldn’t have lasted a week…”
Summer paused, the memory was still too sharp in her mind.
“I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to repay that kindness, but you can be damn sure I’m trying to live up to it”. Summer said firmly as she stopped to gather her thoughts. “And even if she hadn’t done all that…Honestly? When I see how happy you make her. When I wasn’t sure if I’d see her happy again…”
The painful memory returned. In the heat of the moment Summer could only let it wash over her. Anna nearly leaving Newport to return to Pittsburgh. How sad she had been in the weeks leading up to it. All because of her and Seth. And then finally, Anna’s goodbye. The pain on her face as she had tried to convince Summer it wasn’t her fault before leaving Summer’s room, convinced it was the last time they would see each other.
“And well…Now, thanks to you. I see her adorable smile. Every day”. She said, her own smile increasing in size as she continued. “And I see you, care free and so much happier…And well, I like to think that would make me happy, no matter what”. She paused, regaining herself. “You deserve this. She deserves this…So you don’t need to thank me, Ryan. I’m doing exactly what I want to”.
In the moments that followed, the two just smiled at one another. The sound from the other students had long since abated.
“Well…”, Ryan said quietly, a breath that almost approached laughter left his lips. “Guess we both had a lot of cards in hand”.
“Oh yeah, the dealer didn’t stop this year…Even you might struggle to count them all…But I mean it, Atwood. Don’t feel guilt about being happy. Neither of you owe Seth or me or Coop or anyone, anything. Got it?”
“I’m definitely not doing this sentiment justice…" Ryan paused, giving his mind one last moment to articulate the thought. "But thank you, Summer”.
He finished the sentiment simply and quietly. After a few moments of silence, Summer embraced him in a hug. Taken aback, it took him a couple of beats to wrap his arms around her shoulders.
“I’m really glad you are okay”. The tone of her voice was the same as Kirsten’s when she had first seen him walking around his hospital room.
“I’m all good, Sum. I promise”.
The two of them stayed there a moment before Summer broke off, her eyes reddening slightly.
“Good, because if you hurt that girl. Intentionally or otherwise…I have boxing gloves and I know how to use them”. Summer said, narrowing her eyes.
“I’m trying my best not to…I promise”, Ryan said, running his hand through his hair nervously. “It is going to sound lame but half of me wants Saturday to mark the start of something new, something better…Though the other half wants to call it off again…It keeps reminding me I’m not a grand gestures guy…”
“You really aren’t…” Summer agreed. “But that’s what makes it so cute…She’d never expect you to come to me”.
“Maybe there is a reason for that”, Ryan replied.
“I know exactly what you are thinking, Atwood. This isn’t a Cohen gambit. You aren’t doing this because you cheated on her, moved to Hawaii or…I don’t know, spent Thanksgiving two-timing with two people in the same house…”
Finishing the sentence with a shrug, Summer squared up to Ryan.
“This is just a cute guy doing something special for his cute girlfriend. Really simple. Really cute. Tale as old as time. Completely on brand…if quite sentimental for our resident house-burning bad boy”. Summer said, gently punching him on the shoulder. Ryan shook his head, trying to shake off the embarrassment.
“I suppose it is like you said…I’m still getting used to a different type of love”, he said, sweeping the hair from his eyes and forehead. “It feels odd, but I like it…A lot”.
“I can tell you do, lover-boy…” Summer teased. “I know she does too…A lot” Summer said earnestly, smiling up at the friend who had changed so much in a year.
The two of them exited the Harbor sports complex and once again found themselves at the amphitheatre with its steep stairs, large trees and endless flower beds.
“Just before I head off…Did Anna talk to you about lunch yesterday?” Summer finally asked.
“I was going to ask you the same thing”, Ryan said with a sigh. “I asked her after dinner, we’d been chilling in the pool house for a few hours…”
Summer made a face which could only mean: ‘And?’
“And nothing”, Ryan said. “She said she was just feeling a little rough. She is worried about her parents, I thought it might be that. No reason to doubt her either way, so I didn’t push it”.
Ryan realised Summer was looking at him as if he was insane.
“Do you think it could be something more?” Ryan asked, concern creeping into his voice.
“I’m not convinced at all…She has been off since…Well, at least since we saw those girls on Wednesday…”
“Girls?" Ryan said, searching his memories. "The cheerleaders?”
“No…Well yes, them as well. But there were some before. I think they might’ve swallowed the Oliver pill”. Summer saw a flash of frustration cross Ryan’s face, dissipating as quickly as it formed.
“Right…Of course”, he said, rolling his eyes. “I mean I’m busy setting up for tomorrow, but I could cancel and go check on her. She said she was having dinner with her mom though…” Ryan trailed off, conflicted.
“I’ll go over, I’ve got a free class at the end of the day anyway. I’ve done my part on the country club side. You handle that, I’ll see what is up”.
Ryan paused, thinking it through.
“You promise to call me if something is wrong? I can be at Anna’s in 20 minutes from the club”.
“Don’t worry Ryan, I’ll have you on speed dial”, Summer said, half sarcasm, half comfort. “It’ll be fine! Things are different now, the sky isn’t about to fall on you”.
“Yeah…Of course...Sorry”. Ryan said, embarrassed. “It is just hard…Hard to rewire yourself, after going through life with that mindset…And especially after last year”.
“As I said, that was the way we were…Not how we are now…So focus on tomorrow. Focus on how shocked Anna will be. The excitement on that cute little face”.
Ryan’s face didn’t revert entirely from a state of visible concern, but it lessened, replaced by a slight, wary happiness
“Honestly? I think imagining her reaction stopped me from calling this off…I’m hoping it helps…I don’t know…Show her how grateful I am...How incredible I think she is”. As Ryan’s embarrassment became terminal, he discontinued the sentence.
“Ugh, you are too cute these days, Atwood…", Summer replied, shaking her head. “Trust me, she knows you think that already, and she’ll love it…Now get out of here! Before you induce some new type of rage blackout”.