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The lab is eerie quiet as I enter it. I expected to feel overwhelming pain but only emptiness is left. In other circumstances I'd be concerned but I don't really care anymore. I don't even know what I am doing here. Hoping to find some answers? Or a goodbye note? It's probably won't bring anything yet I'm here.
My senses lead me to her table. My heart sinks as I see the yellow teacup still standing there half-full. I gently brush it with my fingers as if I'm afraid it will turn to dust.
And then I see it. The pile of papers: blueprints, sketches, notes written in indecipherable yet so dear letters. And his stupid face all over.
For the first time in weeks I feel something apart from sheer emptiness. My first instinct is to shred the papers at once, yet I can't, knowing that Alphys worked on them.
– You! Worthless pathetic pile of metal scraps! – I cry out to the dead-eyed portrait of Mettaton Ex. - How could you let that damn kid kill you! I thought you were tougher than I! You were a freaking robot! You disgusting, ungrateful, selfish, obnoxious... - suddenly I notice that the paper is wrinkled as if...
As if my precious girl was crying over his smug face. It should infuriate me but for some reason my heart breaks into millions of pieces.
– But why? My girl, why? I thought he neglected you. I thought he didn't care about you. But you... After all... still cared about him? Why?
In frustration I swipe the papers off the table. However, conscience doesn't let me leave Alphys's temple in a mess, so I instantly start picking them up. And I find them: several crumpled pieces of paper on the floor. Can it be the last note from Alphys?
***
Dear Undyne...
Undyne!
To whom it may concern.
I may not seem a threat, you probably think that I'm just a harmless anxious mess with low self-esteem. The truth, however, is that I had hurt more people than you could possibly imagine. I've already let so many people down that I could probably never forgive myself. But never have I deliberately hurt a friend and I'm afraid I've gone too far. I’m afraid I can’t live on with this remorse.
Mettaton. You may think whatever you want about him. He mighty have seemed eccentric, self-absorbed and sometimes even a jerk. But never was. He was a good person and wanted only the best for his audience. He cared about them, he cared about... Nevermind. Anyway, he didn't deserve to suffer and die. And now... he's gone and it's only my fault.
I can't even blame the human for it. The poor child went through so much pain and misery and they were just defending their own life.
It was me who got Mettaton involved in.
It was me who gave the human the hint how to defeat him.
It was me who... failed to mention who Mettaton actually was.
I wonder, whether the human would show mercy knowing that he is not just a robot, he never was. And I betrayed him. I murdered him.
Yet again I failed to become a hero. There ought to have been another way to protect both of them and I didn't find it.
It's high time I realized I only bring pain and suffering to our world. And I think... No, I'm sure it would be better off without me at all.
Maybe there is a timeline where everything goes better, where my friend is alive, where everything lines up. But we aren’t living there.
So farewell!
P. S. Undyne... I would totally understand if you were disappointed in me now. I don't deserve your... friendship. Probably it's even for better that I've never... Forget it. I don't want to bother you or anyone anymore. Goodbye!
***
– No... It can't be your fault, dear Alphy, – I mutter as tears are rolling down my face. – Defending their life my ass! Somehow, they did manage to escape myself and anyone else without fighting. They must have hated the damn Heater so much... Or you... Or both of you. If only... – my palms become fists and the paper crumples even more. Frustration overwhelms me as I realize that even if the human returns, their death will never return my Alphy to me. And... I guess she wouldn't want it to end like this. I should be like her; I should take the higher ground.
Too bad I don't have the power for that.
I'm way too empty.
I'm way too lost.
I give up.
I carefully straighten the letter and put it into my pocket.
I open my mouth to say farewell to her, I wish I told her everything I never got to tell. I wish I held her in my arms just one more time. And then I realize that I'm not ready to let her go. I spend hours in her lab motionlessly sobbing.
Then I must leave – no matter how I feel I don't want Papyrus to worry about me much.
My head says to me that I should not return to this lab anymore, but my heart knows it's just the first time.
But just before I go, I give a final glance towards the dead robot's face on the paper.
To be honest I don't have the power to hate Mettaton anymore. Would also be unfair - bet he didn't want to die. And in the end Alphys created him and cared about him... She saw a good monster inside of him somehow. I should respect that. I can't forgive him, but I'll let him go.
– Rest in peace, Mettaton, – I say into the void. – You know I even envy you... Wherever you are, you are with her. Take care of her for me. – I swallow "or else". - okay?