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It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Without a doubt, the worst mistake of Tintin’s life. He wasn’t even quite sure how it happened. After all, Captain Haddock had been nothing more than a friend. Certainly Tintin had noticed his admirable bravery, his charming whimsicality, even his breath-catching kindness. However, he had thought it was…professional. Or if it was personal, not anything that would affect him to this degree.
However, their trip to Tibet had thrown everything on its head, and a fact that Tintin hadn’t given much thought to at the time, was finally able to worm its way into his mind. He was in love with Haddock. It was the only explanation for the way his heart had shattered when he thought Haddock was going to cut his line, only to turn around and soar when he actually came back after Tintin tried to push him away. After all, he had possessed a single-minded determination to find his dear friend, Chang, but it hadn’t destroyed him like the thought of Haddock being lost to him had. The warmth he had felt reuniting with Chang again had been a different kind of warmth than when he was with the captain. Like the very air was charged with an invisible pull that always kept him close. Like magnets, like gravity, it was a law of attraction that Tintin had somehow managed to ignore…until now.
Tintin groaned, flipping himself over in bed as he tried to bury his head deeper under his pillow. He supposed to some, this would be an enlightening discovery. The chance to pursue something new and exciting, but he couldn’t. Not with Haddock. There was absolutely no way the older man saw him the same way. The gap between their ages certainly wasn’t off putting to Tintin, he couldn’t say the same for Haddock. His friendly touches probably meant to be more…of a mentor than Tintin clearly interpreted them. No, confessing would only ruin perhaps the best thing in Tintin’s life. He couldn’t let Haddock know how he felt.
Snowy clearly had enough of Tintin’s pity party, choosing to pounce on his chest, licking at his neck as he attempted to dig Tintin out from beneath the pillow.
“Alright, Snowy. Okay.” Tintin laughed, rolling over onto his back as he reached up to scratch the pup’s ears. “We should do something fun today. Maybe go to our favorite park? What do you think, boy?”
Snowy yipped his approval of the choice before hopping down and running to the door, pawing at it and whining. Tintin shook his head.
“Let me get dressed at least first.”
***
Tintin enjoyed being outside. It was cleansing to him, having the sun warm his skin as he passed through various shades of green. It was part of the reason why he had never been able to accept a desk job. How could he possibly think when there was a world just beyond those doors beckoning him to explore? It was actually pure chance when he managed to land his dream job.
He had just graduated from university and wanted to take a couple of weeks to enjoy living before he was forced to go out job hunting. He happened upon a human trafficking operation, got himself out of a bind, and wrote a story over it that he tried to sell to the local paper. He does a lot of that now. Selling stories to any paper willing to publish him, which now that he’s made a name for himself is quite a bit. However, at that time, the paper he was trying to sell the story to wanted their own people to write it up, not an amatuer. Instead, he sent it back home to his local paper who were overjoyed to publish such a piece! Since then, Le Vingtième Siècle is always his first call for giving him his first big break.
Snowy, who had his nose to the ground, suddenly perked up before he gave happy yips racing towards whatever had caught his interest. Tintin took off after him, about to shout for him to come back when he heard another voice beat him to it.
“Snowy! Calm down, you excitable pup! Where’s your master?”
Tintin froze, coming around the corner and confirming that it was in fact Captain Haddock. His throat felt tight as his earlier realization seemed to blare to the forefront of his thoughts. Which was ridiculous. Nothing had to change. If Tintin didn’t let his initial attraction to Haddock stand in the way of their friendship, there should be no reason for this to be any different. Still, his movements felt robotic and smile felt forced as he pushed himself forward to greet the man.
“Captain! What are you doing here?”
It was almost like watching Tintin’s own emotions in reverse as the easy smile fell, and Haddock froze at Tintin’s approach. Tintin stopped, acknowledging the distance between them and wondering what exactly could be going through the older man’s mind.
“There ya are, Tintin. I’ve been looking for you. I think there’s something we need to talk about.”
Thorin took in Haddock’s guarded stance, his hands fisted in his pockets, and his refusal to meet Tintin’s eyes. Ice traveled straight down the nerve in his back making Tintin feel more like a livewire. How…how did he know already? What did Tintin do to betray himself? Numbly, he nodded before moving towards the nearby park bench taking a seat on the very edge. Haddock followed the movement, making sure to leave considerable space between the two. Tintin felt something inside him hiccup as his brain raced to find a way to salvage their friendship.
Snowy let his eyes drift between the two with a peculiar look before deciding his time would be better spent chasing one of the squirrels up a tree. Silence sat thick over the duo, each lost to their own thoughts. Just when Tintin had worked out an amenable solution, Haddock began, his words nearly tearing Tintin in two.
“I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to continue joining you on your adventures.”
Tintin breathed past the invisible fingers gripping his vocal cords as he answered as calmly as he could.
“That’s fine, Captain. I’d never want to force you to join me.”
“It’s not that.” Haddock snapped, reaching for his pipe but not yet lighting it. “I came to realize something. Something that had changed after…our last adventure.”
Tintin’s eyes squeezed shut. He didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to have to sit through the captain’s rejection. It was his fault for letting his emotions get the better of him. He knew Haddock would never want someone so much younger than him. Although, there was a bitterness in Tintin that wanted to remind the good captain that he at least acted more adult than most, present company included.
“This isn’t easy to say, because I do value our friendship. But I feel like not saying anything would be more of a betrayal, and I can’t do that to you.”
Here it comes. Tintin braced himself for the blow that would surely cut deeper than any injury he’s had before.
“I’m in love with you, Auggie.”
Wait…what? The roaring in his ears, the build-up in his chest, it all just…disappeared to be replaced with something lighter that swooped right through his belly.
“What did you say?” Tintin gasped.
Haddock turned to look at him, his bright eyes hard and resigned.
“I love you.”
It was something more glorious to hear a second time. Haddock broke contact though, shaking his head.
“It’s alright. You don’t have to say anything. I know you don’t want to be saddled with an old sea dog like myself. I just thought you deserved to know which is why I should stay away for a little while. Give you some space. I’ll miss your company of course, but you deserve to live the life you want without being bogged down by…”
“Archie.” Tintin demanded, interrupting the captain’s self-deprecating rant.
The older man slowly turned to him, fear haunting his every movement right before Tintin leaned forward and kissed him. It wasn’t a long kiss, more of a gentle press of lips, but it was enough for Tintin as he categorized the captain’s chapped lips, the tickle of his mustache and beard, and the lingering scent of pipe tobacco even though Haddock hadn’t actually smoked in front of him. When he pulled away, he couldn’t help startling at the tears that welled in Haddock’s eyes but had yet to fall.
“Tintin, you don’t have to…”
In a panic, Tintin realized Haddock thought he was humoring him. He quickly grabbed his hand while shaking his hand.
“No! Archie, I…I feel the same. I thought…I thought you were saying this because you learned of my…regard. Please…please, don’t leave.”
Tintin squeezed his eyes shut, hoping his faltering words were enough to convince Haddock. He wasn’t good with expressing his emotions, but he hoped Haddock knew him well enough to understand this. After what felt like a long moment, Haddock slipped his hand to cup Tintin behind the neck, forcing his head forward until it gently bumped against Haddock’s own.
“I won’t. I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me.”
Tintin smiled brightly wishing he had something he could say that would convey the same sentiment. Instead he put his hands around Haddock’s neck, trying to bring the man closer. A relieved chuckle in his ear let him know his efforts were received and appreciated.