Work Text:
27 August, 2029
The sun was rising slowly over the pond at Malfoy Manor that morning. Scorpius could see it past the line of trees and reflected on the water now. He sat on the plain wood bench, facing away from the pond, placed in front of his mother's grave. Ten years had passed since she had died. One decade to the day, he had been thirteen then, so unsure of himself and his place in this vast world. Now at twenty three he seemingly has a good portion figured out. He is now a healer and specializes in pediatric care. He has a loving husband, Albus. A potioneer with a blooming business.
"Albus and I got married. We just got back from our honeymoon. We were in Italy. It was quite nice. The service was lovely- Albus’s brother Ted officiated it and he did a good job. We left a seat for you next to dad so hopefully you know all of this but it was nice. Dad must have brought some of the flowers out here for you. He must have charmed them; they still look the same as they did a week ago." Scorpius runs his hands over his knees and up his legs. He pauses for a moment. He remembers the day his mum died like it was yesterday. The whole family anticipated it. His grandparents sat together on the love seat, his Aunts and Uncles couldn't sit, his cousins squished wherever they could on the couches and chairs just outside the door. She passed in the early afternoon Scorpius sat next to her in bed. He cried too, he knows he did.
Then it seemed that as soon as she was gone the mortician collected her body. The funeral was weird, people he had never met giving condolences or shaking his hand or worse hugging him. He remembers the stiff black robes he had to wear. The powder blue dress his mum was buried in. Albus was there with his mum, Ginny, who had been one to hug Scorpius. Dad had started drifting away once mum died. Mum's siblings handled most things regarding the service they occasionally asked for Scorpius and his father's opinion.
Scorpius went back to school on time and dad said it would be good. Albus got him through that time. Scorpius refocuses on his mother's grave. It reads;
Astoria Malfoy
12 October 1981 - 27 August 2019
"I can't believe it's been ten years." He sniffles. "I know I am bad about coming out here to visit you but I do write to you often so hopefully that makes up for that. But I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep anyway so I figured it was a good time. I don't like being here with other people. Dad seems to miss you more lately. He goes through stages where even mentioning you is hard, especially around today. I always seem to too, I guess it's a side effect of grief. Or at least that's what my therapist says. I think you constantly cycle through the stages of grief; the acceptance stage just holds more time and the other's hold less. Albus and I stayed here last night as we always do for the anniversary. I think it helps a little to be with dad. It was why we had a short honeymoon. I didn't think I could deal with not being here. Plus with my job it's hard to get away for a long time."
"Scorpius, love." Albus approaches the bench from behind Scorpius. "Can I sit with you?"
"I won't stop you." Scorpius slides over to make room for Albus. "I was just taking a moment."
"I know I figured that much when I couldn't find you inside." Albus sits down before taking Scorpius's hand in his. "Take all the time you need." He pulls Scorpius's hand up to his lips.
"Ten years is a long time. I don't think I could've done it without you darling."
Albus looks at him. "Well, I think you could've done it. You are the strongest person I know."
"Mm."
They sit there for a while. Holding hands as the sun continued slowly rising behind them nearly up to its morning peak. Scorpius leans his head on Albus's. Before breaking the silence. "She would've loved you."
"Yeah?"
"Oh absolutely. You're kind and passionate. You like all the old music she did. I also think dad is way harder to impress than she would've been and he loves you. So we would have had her sold on you" Scorpius sits up and turns to face Albus.
Albus looks at him. "I think I'd have loved her too. I don't know how I couldn't. She seemed like she was the best mum and your dad talks about how you got all her best traits so surely we'd have got on."
"Dad says that?"
"Yes. Before the wedding he and I were talking and he mentioned how you're her son through and through."
"She always said I was dad's son so its weird to hear it the other way I'spose." Scorpius felt tears rushing back to his eyes. "Not that it's a bad thing I just dad never mentioned it at all."
"Some things like that go unsaid my love. Also you seemingly got all the best things from both of your parents cause you are the best."
"Ok, no need to wax poetic about me in front of my mum. So please stop."
Albus pauses and turns back to the grave. "You made a great one, Astoria. I am so lucky to get to love him forever. I wish you could see how wonderful he is now. I mean come on. Top of his class whilst training to be a healer. He is incredibly kind and smart. Oh he is so funny, but you have to know him before he starts to joke with you. The most handsome and gorgeous man in the whole world although I may be biased. And I love him more than anything else." Albus turns back to Scorpius. "There I waxed poetic to her."
Scorpius giggles. "Fine, I get it. Shall we walk back before dad sends a search party out." He extends his hand to Albus. "Also I would like to take a nap if you would cuddle with me."
Albus takes his hand. "Of course my love. Your dad knows we're out here by the way I told him I was coming to look for you. He suggested I look here first, you know."
"He probably knew I was out here when you came down alone." They walk along the short path back to the manor. When they come to the back door that goes into the kitchen they see Scorpius's dad there making breakfast.
"Ah, just in time, breakfast is almost ready. I did a full English today. I hope you two don't mind." Draco stands at the stove with a frying pan of eggs.
"Sounds lovely dad." Scorpius moves to quickly set the breakfast table.
Albus follows suit. "Yes, it sounds fantastic. I always love your fry up Draco."
"I assume you won't want to go with me later Scorpius. Since you already went to see mum." Draco sets down the food.
"Yeah I'll just stay here. I didn't sleep well and am going to take a nap after breakfast. The flowers you put out there look lovely, thank you." Scorpius starts to eat his breakfast.
"Thank you Adeline and I went. It was her idea." Draco replied. Adeline was Scorpius's cousin; she was close with his mother, so it made sense.
"She's a thoughtful one. Can you please pass the salt, Draco." Albus moved his hand to take it from Draco.
The rest of the meal goes leisurely. The three of them are chatting about the honeymoon and the books they all have read lately. Once the meal is done Scorpius and Albus start on the dishes insisting they can handle it since Draco cooked. Albus knows Scorpius is trying to distract himself with a small task before he goes upstairs. Eventually they'll finish and Albus will force him upstairs to take his well deserved rest. Draco had slipped out the door with a book in hand. Down the path he and Scorpius just walked and to the same bench where Draco would spend the majority of the day there. Scorpius finishes putting the dishes away and announces he is going upstairs now. Albus follows letting Scorpius lead him through the halls of the manor he could now walk blindfolded if he had to. Scorpius leads Albus to his childhood bedroom. It's pale blue and white decor always contrasts the more jewel toned walls of the hallway outside. There is a white duvet on the large bed. It feels like his still and he supposes it always will be so long as his dad lives there. He loves having somewhere outside of London to go to when the city gets overwhelming for Albus and him. Scorpius watches as Albus puts his pajamas back on and he does the same. The two of them crawl into the bed. Sides of the bed had been established the first night they were together. It was a constant never changing thing. Scorpius snuggles into Albus.
"I love you." Albus whispers.
"I love you too darling. Thank you for letting me do what I need to do today." Scorpius hugs Albus tightly.
"Hey," he moves to make eye contact with Scorpius. "We take care of each other. You handle my meltdowns and I take on your bad brain days."
"I know, but it's different. Sometimes I feel like I should get over mum. And before you start going on about how grief is cyclical and that you don't need to feel guilty about your feelings, I know. I try to keep it in mind."
"You are at least announcing your feelings and acknowledging them. That is half the battle. Trust me I know all about guilt for something we can't control." Albus is certain Scorpius has always kept Albus’s guilt in mind when talking about his mental health and Albus keeps Scorpius's own issues there as well. It keeps them from hurting the other. Not that they would ever intentionally do so. Their well balanced consciousness has resulted in minimal fighting between them.
Scorpius reflects on all this whilst Albus inevitably falls back asleep. He swears Albus can fall asleep anywhere at any time. He knows his brain is a bad place to be sometimes but he can't help but engage in those thoughts. Luckily most of these are of happier moments with his mum when he was younger and she wasn't as sick as she was later on. Even then he relishes in the memories of reading to her in bed and as she had read to him when he couldn't quite get all the words. He can still remember them going through The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe for the first time; it is one of his long-time favorites now. His mother read with her calm voice and they would switch for the next chapter. Now he reads to Albus, whether Albus had a bad day and is over-stimulated or Scorpius needs to slow down after a long day at St. Mungo's, it reminds him of his mother. While the works they now read are less geared to children and are more adult they still can enjoy a bit of whimsy every now and then. He hopes one day he will get to read to his children; it was an important part of his childhood he wishes to carry on. Although their talks of children are, for now, highly hypothetical they are still planning on it one day. He then pulls himself back from his daydream, the sudden crushing feeling that a person who should be there won't. Mum won't get to hold her grandchildren, he knows this, has forever since the first real conversation about his mum's sickness when he was eleven, that conversation included the topics; mum's probably going to die while your in school but she are going to love you and be with you forever, your dad's a reformed death eater, and kids are going to call you The Son of Voldemort. Well, all three of those were true. But, he had Albus, his Albus Potter, all his, only his. He had been to hell and back for Albus. Albus had been to hell and back for him. For Scorpius Malfoy, some invisible string pulled Albus to that compartment that day. Even if it was the sweets that made him stay.
He's back to thinking about his mum. Her never-ending love and kindness. Her hugs, her voice, teaching him to play the piano, everything. He's had to learn to be grateful for the good memories. Not to be angry, he didn't have more time. Still nothing could compare to her being. Not the box of letters stashed somewhere only his dad knows to pull out on special occasions. The previous ones are neatly kept in a binder with page protectors at Albus and his flat. His last bit of mum. His father-in-law once told him about the time he found a letter from his mum how it felt like real proof she had been alive. Scorpius never felt that way maybe because she was there for a good portion of his life so far. The letters were reminders of how much she cared and loved him. He feels his brain get a little foggier. Feels himself grow tired, sleep finally catching up with him. He rolls over to face Albus still asleep, Scorpius brushes a loose curl back to look at Albus’s face better and closes his eyes. He exhales to finally get some much needed rest.