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Peace. That was the first thing that could be registered in his mind as he slowly opened his eyes. ■■■■■■■■ could feel a hand running through his hair with gentle care, soft murmurs being heard in the background as he closed his eyes once more. It was peaceful.
He didn’t know how long he stayed like that, laying still with closed eyes as the hand continued to card through his hair. It was like he was being touched with love. ■■■■■■■■’s heart squeezed a little at the thought — someone loved him enough to be touching him, someone loved him enough to talk in hushed whispers to try and not disturb his sleep.
Someone loved him.
■■■■■■■■, to be quite honest, didn’t know why his heart felt like it’d tightened at the thought of someone loving him. This felt… normal, like it was a regular thing. So why did he feel…
“■■■■■■■■?” A gentle voice brings him out of his thoughts. He slowly opens his eyes and blinks dumbly at the sight of a gorgeous man peering down above, turquoise eyes shining with worry. His long, black hair cascades down his shoulders, the ends nearly tickling ■■■■■■■■’s face. Sticking out of his sleek hair seems to be horns that were the same color as his eyes. “Are you alright? You started fidgeting in your sleep…”
He can’t help but reply with only a nod, looking away as pink dusts his cheeks. The man above him looked so… ethereal. Like he was a statue carved with the finest gems, an angel sent by the heavens. Even his voice sounded heavenly, low in tones but warm with love. He could feel his heart beating quicker, his brain finally registering the fact that his head was resting on this angel’s lap, as the worried man — Vidyadhara, his mind corrects — only leaned in closer with a small frown.
Another voice breaks the silence, voice ringing out with laughter that ■■■■■■■■ could only compare to the sound of bells. “Dan Feng,” the new voice says amusedly, “I’m sure ■■■■■■■■ is alright. Look at him, you’ve flustered the poor darling.”
■■■■■■■■ glances over at him while the angel, Dan Feng, bristles in embarrassment. He’s mumbling something about how he’s just worried for ■■■■■■■■, but ■■■■■■■■ is too busy looking at the other gorgeous man he’s with. Fluffy white hair that resembled a lion’s mane, pure gold eyes that shone in the sunlight, dimples on both cheeks, a big, warm smile that engulfed ■■■■■■■■’s heart…
By the Aeons, they were both absolutely gorgeous.
He must have said that out loud because he hears the second man laugh and sees Dan Feng’s face flush pink. ■■■■■■■■ merely smiles at them both, saying something along the lines of how beautiful they were without a single thought, when Dan Feng coughs, his entire face now flushed to a pretty pink down to his shoulders.
“Baobei,” Dan Feng murmurs, not quite looking him in the eyes. Ah, he’s embarrassed, ■■■■■■■■ thinks. His heart swells with pride. All because I called him beautiful. “You… certainly are cheeky today. Aren’t you?”
■■■■■■■■’s reply to that is sticking out the tip of his tongue mischievously, heart thumping in his chest like wild as he hears both of the other men laugh and coo at him with nothing but adoration. Oh, how wonderful this was, to bask in the warm sunlight with two angels who were sent from heaven.
“A-Yuan,” ■■■■■■■■ says, the nickname rolling off his tongue smoothly like he’s said the man’s name a thousand times before, “don’t you agree he’s pretty?”
“Jing Yuan,” Dan Feng says immediately in a light scolding manner, cheeks ablaze with blush. There’s little to no heat in his words as the Vidyadhara glares, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Don’t join in on his antics.”
Jing Yuan laughs again. Bells, ■■■■■■■■ thinks. His laugh is pure like bells. “Qīn’ài de zhàngfū,” says Jing Yuan, smiling fondly at Dan Feng. “What ■■■■■■■■ says is true, though — you are indeed pretty, perhaps even the prettiest out there.”
■■■■■■■■ watches as Dan Feng’s eyes widen before the Vidyadhara averts his gaze, the tips of his ears becoming tinted with a pretty shade of red. Jing Yuan chuckles at his reaction and ■■■■■■■■ can’t help but smile and laugh too, chipping in with his own, “You're gorgeous,” and other compliments.
There’s a thumping sound as Dan Feng keeps his gaze away from his lovers, ears burning red, and ■■■■■■■■ turns his head to the left to see Dan Feng’s tail wagging at the praise. ■■■■■■■■ smiles at the sight, cooing at the Vidyadhara who only hides his face with his hands in embarrassment.
It has always been fun to tease Dan Feng like this. ■■■■■■■■ likes to do it a lot with Jing Yuan, to see Dan Feng’s walls crumble away until he was nothing but a cute, flustered mess. Jing Yuan would laugh and pat their lover’s head afterwards and ■■■■■■■■ would give him tiny kisses on his face as an apology for making him turn so red in the face, and after that, Dan Feng would gather them up in his arms and doze off, tail curling around their torsos, purring contentedly.
■■■■■■■■… misses that, for some reason. His heart clenches and squeezes painfully at the memories of being held by his lovers, and for a reason he couldn’t name, it hurts to remember and know that he is, in fact, loved, and has always been loved by his dear Jing Yuan and Dan Feng. His heart thrums with grief and it mourns for his lovers as if he had lost them both on the very same day, yet they were both here, right now, laughing and fondly smiling at each other. So why did it hurt? Why did ■■■■■■■■ miss them when they were right in front of him?
“■■■■■■■■?” Dan Feng’s worried voice snaps ■■■■■■■■ back to the present moment, and he blinks as if he had been in a daze. “Lăo gōng, are you sure you’re alright?”
The Vidyadhara cradles his head gently, brushing through his white hair with his fingers, holding ■■■■■■■■ as if he was everything dear to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Jing Yuan looking at him with furrowed eyebrows, irises of gold murky with concern. Tears prick at ■■■■■■■■’s eyes before he closes them, a small smile forming upon his lips as he nods.
“Yes, xīngān,” ■■■■■■■■ softly replies, opening his eyes again to reach up and touch Dan Feng’s cheek. “I’ve just… I’ve realized how incredibly in love I am with you both. How blessed I am to have been given the opportunity to love you two during my short lifespan.”
When he drops his hand back onto his chest and closes his eyes, he hears nothing but the quiet breeze, along with the faint heartbeats of his lovers. ■■■■■■■■ doesn’t dare open his eyes again to see their expression, his own heart pounding within his chest, ready to burst out. His mission fails, however, when he feels rough, calloused hands take one of his, a kiss being pressed against his forehead.
“Baobei,” says Jing Yuan, looking down at him with the purest, gold eyes and one of the most lovely smiles, “we are also extremely lucky and blessed to have been given the chance to love you.” Dan Feng nods, intertwining his fingers with his lover’s other hand. “Qīn’ài de zhàngfū,” Jing Yuan says in the softest tone he has ever spoken with. “Wo ai ni.”
That’s all it takes for ■■■■■■■■ to tear up, face flushing pink at Jing Yuan’s words. He looks away, eyes teary, and Jing Yuan laughs softly, giving his hand a squeeze. “No matter what happens,” the man says, smiling at both ■■■■■■■■ and Dan Feng. “I will always love you both.”
The Vidyadhara merely smiles, shaking his head fondly at his lovers. His tail snakes around them both, bringing them closer to him. “You both are quite sentimental today,” Dan Feng comments, though his tone is light with endearment. He squeezes ■■■■■■■■’s hand gently, giving him a kiss on the forehead once more before giving Jing Yuan a soft kiss on the cheek. “No matter what, you two will always remain a part of my heart, and my soul.”
■■■■■■■■ laughs, looking at his lovers in adoration. “Now, who is being sentimental?” he says teasingly, a smile on his face. Dan Feng gives him a look, though it’s softened by love, and ■■■■■■■■ only smiles back in response. Jing Yuan chuckles at the interaction.
“I suppose we are all being sentimental today,” says Jing Yuan, fondly gazing at the pair. “It appears we are all getting old now. Time has softened us all.”
Dan Feng shakes his head. “You started this festival of sentimentality,” he tells him, and Jing Yuan lets out a hearty laugh.
“A festival of sentimentality,” Jing Yuan repeats with a chuckle. “Such a unique way to word this moment, my dear Dan Feng.” The Vidyadhara only shakes his head again and laughs, nudging him with his tail and a soft, “Shush.”
“A very unique way to word it,” ■■■■■■■■ agrees, joining in on the teasing. Dan Feng gently flicks ■■■■■■■■’s forehead, clicking his tongue in warning. “Perhaps the High Elder needs a kiss or two to help him reword his sentence.”
Jing Yuan raises his eyebrows at the suggestion, golden eyes flickering back and forth between ■■■■■■■■ and Dan Feng. Dan Feng looks at them both with a look. “You two best not do another one of those kiss attacks,” the Vidyadhara says slowly. “The last time you tried that—”
He misses the way his lovers give each other a look, and by the time Dan Feng’s about to go into details about what’s happened last time, Jing Yuan and ■■■■■■■■ lean towards the Vidyadhara’s face and begin peppering kisses all over him. It effectively cuts off his sentence, saving them the embarrassment, and soon, they’re all a heap on the grass, laughing and kissing each other.
“By the Aeons—” Dan Feng gasps for air as he laughs, the kisses from his lovers and their hair tickling his face. “Enough, enough—”
■■■■■■■■ grins down at the Vidyadhara. “Is the High Elder backing down from a fight?” he taunts teasingly, and that earns him a light jab on the side from his tail. Jing Yuan has stopped pressing kisses all over Dan Feng’s face now, instead laughing as he watches the two banter.
“I may not fight and win every battle,” Dan Feng says with a chuckle, “but I always win the wars, baobei.”
War.
War.
War.
Everything around ■■■■■■■■ goes dark and he feels as if he’s plunging deep down into the darkness. There’s a tightness around his neck and chest. He can’t breathe, almost as if he was drowning. Deeper into the suffocating water he went, until there was no light refracting in the water, and there was only darkness.
It’s quiet, he thinks, except for the sounds of his struggling as bubbles emerge from his mouth and the tides continue to bring him deeper down.
There’s more bubbles floating upwards as he sinks deeper into the darkness, and it takes him moments to realize that they weren’t just bubbles. Fragments of memories bubble upwards, and he can see himself, Jing Yuan, and Dan Feng in all of them. Strolling along the worn cobble paths, sitting in peace in a secluded area of a forest, learning from Dan Feng on how to make flower crowns, sparring with Jing Yuan and playing chess, receiving a finely carved jade stone from the Vidyadhara so that in his next life, he would find them again—
With each bubble that surfaced upwards and disappeared, the more anguish and grief replaced his love and joy. He can feel hands of rage grasping at him, pulling him deeper down, as other memory bubbles begin to fill his vision.
Sitting next to the High Elder Vidyadhara and talking with him in Scalegorge Waterscape, even though he was a short-life and Dan Feng a long-life. Dan Feng holding his hands as he grants ■■■■■■■■ immortality, breaking the ten unpardonable sins, breaking his oath, bringing havoc to the Xianzhou Loufu, to Scalegorge Waterscape, and bringing mara to ■■■■■■■■’s life, being exiled from the Loufu, and all ■■■■■ could see was red, red, red—
Blade lurched awake from his sleep, breathing heavily as he stared at his hands with wild eyes. He could still feel the hands grasping at him, trying to bring him down into the darkness, but he tried his best to ignore the phantom feeling, focusing on figuring out how to breathe again.
If he died from suffocation, it wouldn’t matter — death had never been an option for him.
Eventually, he learned how to breathe again, in and out, in and out. As he took in slow breaths, Blade looked down at the jade stone attached to his belt.
Someone loved him, a voice whispered in the back of his mind. Someone loved him, once, long ago.
What had he been dreaming about, again? Blade frowned as he stared at the jade, a shaky hand tracing over the fine cuts. The only thing from his dream that he could remember was the cold and the phantom hands gripping tightly onto him, preventing him from breathing. He could vaguely remember a familiar warmth, but everytime he tried to remember, it would slip away from his grasp until it was entirely forgotten, erased from memory.
One thing he knew for sure, though: his dream had something to do with that damned bastard Imbibitor Lunae. Blade’s hand clenched into a fist at the thought of him in fury. Even in his dreams which were more nightmares than anything, he remained haunted by the ghost of the traitor.
“Hey, Baldie, you awake yet?” Silver Wolf’s impatient voice cut through his thoughts as she rapidly knocked on his door. “The Stellaron on the Luofu isn’t going to wait forever, y’know. Elio has some very specific instructions. Or at least, that’s what Kafka told me.”
He heaved out a sigh, rolling his eyes at her impatience. “I’m coming,” Blade grumbled, getting off his bed. “Would it kill you to have some patience?”
Silver Wolf snorted and the sound of her bubblegum popping was loud. “And would it kill you to hurry up?” she snarked back. “It wouldn’t, so you better run out here fast. I might just take your place in the mission to the Luofu. I’m sure Elio wouldn’t mind an improv.”
Blade’s eyes gleamed dangerously at the words. “I’ll be out in two,” he said curtly, and that was all that needed to be said. There was a little triumphant noise outside his door before there was silence, and Blade sighed, dragging a hand down his face.
The Xianzhou Loufu, he thought, closing his eyes for a moment to think. The place where everything began, and where everything ended. The Arbiter General will be there, then. And perhaps…
The successor of Imbibitor Lunae’s reincarnation might be there, too.
Something dangerously hot kindled within him. The fire of murderous rage that had been tame from inactivity was now blazing, burning brightly once more.
Blade began to laugh from delirium, a crazed look in his eyes. He took the jade stone from his belt, looking at it with a grin. “Dan Feng… I will find you.”
“And you will pay for every one of your sins that you have committed, until you know nothing but atonement.”