Work Text:
ava’s mind was everywhere. since the moment she woke up this morning her mind was on the go. it was loud and unsettling. usually she can take a few deep breaths, give barbara ‘good morning’ kisses and get some regulation going on. but at the speed her mind was moving, she couldn’t focus on her breathing, and barbara was already in the shower. ava got up and stretched, padding her way into the bathroom.
“good morning, ava,” barbara greeted from behind the curtain.
“morning. can i get a kiss?”
“honey i’m in the shower.”
“oh for real? i didn’t notice.”
“ava…” barbara warned.
“please?” before she could whine some more, barbara was peeking out from behind the curtain, puckering her lips. ava took two quick kisses and thanked her, moving to get ready in the downstairs bathroom.
-
“ava i’m headed out!” barbara calls from downstairs. ava had gone back upstairs to take her meds before she ate, but she was so unfocused that she didn’t notice she was running behind.
“okay! see you at work!” she calls back, scrambling to remember her next step. her thoughts were so loud. and there were so many of them at once. had she already taken her medication? she thought she did but she couldn’t remember because she was trying to get her bracelet on. but she already wore that bracelet that week because barbara had -
“your coffee and cereal’s on the counter!” barbara voice cuts through the noise in her head once again. barbara was really good at that. whenever she spoke all parts of ava listened. calmed.
“thank you! come gimme a kiss!” she knew she needed one more before leaving or else the day would just get worse.
“you’re gonna have to come to me!” ava took no time thundering down the stairs and finding barbara.
“you look beautiful today, baby.” ava compliments.
“thank you.”
“see you later.” barbara rolls her eyes at the ‘later’.
“don’t be late, ava.” barbara kisses her quick and moves to open the door.
“i won’t,” ava says reaching for another kiss which barbara gladly provides “love you.”
“i love you too. drive safe!”
“i won’t !” if she drove safe she would be late ( is the reasoning she gives herself in the moment. but ava is not a very safe driver in general).
-
ava knows for sure she forgot her meds this morning. the thoughts whirring in her brain have gotten louder and she can’t pay attention to anything and the coffee she’s drinking isn’t helping like it usually does and her fidgets that she plays with at her desk aren’t helping and she has so much to do and not enough time to do it and she can’t focus and she wants barbara but barbara is teaching so she can’t bother her and she can’t focus and she has to use the bathroom but there’s something she’s trying to get done and she can’t focus and she’s hungry and she can’t FOCUS.
it was becoming too much for her to handle. she just wanted the noise to be quiet so she could get something done. she looked up at the time and realized she had missed lunch, which probably explained why she was hungry. she figured she could just go out for lunch but she still wasn’t finished with the paperwork she was working on and she had promised barbara that she would stay on top of her work lately. she knew that if she took a break she wouldn’t finish it.
“ava? honey?” barbara asks from the doorway of her office. ava looks up to see barbara with two bags in her hands waiting to come in.
“what it do, baby?” she says trying to seem as normal as possible but by the look in her eyes barbara could tell that today hadn’t been a good day for her.
“you okay? you missed lunch and venus said you haven’t moved from your desk all day.”
“oh i’m chillin,” she lies, “just trying to get this work done.” she smiles.
“see now i know you’re lying. what’s wrong?” barbara perches herself on the side of ava’s desk, setting the two bags beside her.
“i just a little off my game today that’s all.” ava admits trying to get her eyes to focus on her papers. barbara watches ava’s eyes read and reread the same sentence while she chews on her cheek. this happens a few times before barbara’s suspicions are confirmed.
“ava,” she asks gently, “is it busy up there today?” barbara brushes the pads of her fingers across ava’s temple.
“yes.”
“do you have your fidgets? if not you can come grab the ones i use for my kids. we won’t need them for the rest of the day.” ava shakes her head, taking barbara’s hand in hers.
“i’ve got mine but they’re not helping today.” ava sighs. barbara nods her head in understanding and squeezes ava’s hand.
“well when venus emailed me earlier and let me know you hadn’t moved from your desk, i figured it was a tough day for you. so i had jacob run out during his last free period and get you some food and i just came back from the corner store where i picked you up some jolly ranchers and some now and laters. if your fidgets aren’t working, it may be an oral stimulation kind of day.” ava hadn’t thought about that. she guessed that’s why she was wearing out the inside of her cheek.
“thank you.” was all that ava could utter at the moment. she wanted to say something better because barbara really didn’t have to do all those things for her and she really was so grateful to have her and sometimes she felt like she didn’t deserve her and-
“you’re welcome, honey. anything, always,” barbara kisses her forehead briefly. “i’ve got to go pick my kids up from special area and finish up the day. do you need anything?” ava shakes her head and moves to open her lunch.
“I’ve got to go see my grandma today so i’ll be home later.”
“okay. i’ll see you at home then.”
-
ava stumbles in the house at 9:30, completely exhausted but her mind still moving as fast as it could. she just wanted to lay down and have it be quiet for a little while. she felt completely overstimulated with the noise from the kids at school, the many noises of the nursing home her grandmother was in, and the noise in her head. all lights were too bright and she ached to get her clothes off. she climbs the stairs and barely makes it through the door of her bedroom before crashing onto the mattress, completely ignoring the presence of her partner next to her. she grabs the pillow closest to her and covers her ears, begging all noise to stop. barbara watches as ava does this, realizing she is past the point of overstimulation. barbara gives her a few minutes while she digs in her side drawer grabbing her airpods and a few jolly ranchers. barbara takes the time to pair the airpods to her phone before reaching over and removing the pillow from ava’s head.
“hi honey.”
“hey barb.”
“how can i help you right now?” barbara can see the wheels turning in ava’s head before she finally gives up.
“i don’t know.”
“well how did the candy do today?”
“it helped a lot but i ran out right before i went to the nursing home.” barbara nods and holds her hand out for ava to take the jolly ranchers resting in them. ava looks as if she wants to cry in relief as she takes one and pops it in her mouth.
“how else can i help, honey. i hate seeing you like this.”
“get me out of these clothes, barbie,” ava sighs. she sits up on her knees, barbara already reaching out and unbuttoning, unzipping, and removing until ava is unclothed. barbara left the bed briefly to grab ava’s robe, bonnet, and makeup wipes. she sits and watches as ava gets herself ready for bed, hoping that her partner can get the rest she needs. ava settles next to barbara and wraps her arms around barbara’s middle.
“did you forget your meds this morning? what’s caused today to be a ruckus, hm?”
“i woke up like this this morning. i went to take my meds and got distracted so the day has just gotten worse.”
“are you going to try and sleep or is there anything else i can do?” barbara can sense ava wanting to ask for something, but much like her she’s too prideful to do so. “ava? anything, honey. anything, always.”
“can we do the thing?”
“which thing honey?”
“where i put the airpods in and…” ava trails off hoping barbara understands and she doesn’t have to spell it out for her.
“ oh. ” barbara is shocked by the request because it is one that is rarely made and only reserved for the worst of days.
“please? i need to focus on something-“ barbara nods and pulls ava closer before she can start rambling or get too embarrassed and say ‘forget it’.
barbara sits up straighter against the headboard and pulls out a book collecting dust on her nightstand. she hands ava the airpods and sits back, letting her legs fall open for ava to get between. ava lays fully on barbara, kissing her once, twice, three times, before scooting down to where her face is buried in barbara’s neck and she suctions herself there. the first kiss to barbara’s skin always earns her a sigh and it’s like music to ava’s ears. for once her brain had gone quiet; nothing but white noise from the airpods and barbara’s soft sighs and whimpers filling her ears.
they had made this arrangement after one particular rough day of ava’s. barbara would sit back and read a book while ava listened to white noise and kissed and sucked all over barbara’s neck for minutes and minutes until barbara would -
“ oh.” barbara whimpers when ava kisses over a sensitive spot, cupping ava’s neck and letting her fingernails scratch at the base of her bonnet. ava latches onto the spot, causing barbara’s back to bow slightly. it wasn’t taking much tonight; ava taking a quick glance at the clock to see only 10 minutes had passed, but ava hoped it was long enough to keep the spinning thoughts at bay. she was finally focused on something. she was on a mission. ava’s tongue laves over the spot, followed by teeth nipping gently.
“ava…” barbara’s panting, book sat aside- forgotten. ava sits up for a second, kissing barbara’s lips.
“hold on a little longer for me please?” she asks. barbara licks her lips and swallows, nodding before bearing her throat once again.
she only gets a few more minutes in before barbara’s nails are digging in her shoulders and her whimpers forming into full moans.
“ ava…” ava nips with her teeth again and she can feel barbara’s thighs shake at her sides as she comes.
ava kisses her way back to barbara’s lips, lingering for a moment and enjoying the sensation of their lips slotted together perfectly.
“do you want-“ barbara starts to ask, her hand sliding down to the belt of ava’s robe.
“no,” ava mutters, “sleep.” barbara understands that ava’s utterly exhausted and has finally gotten to a place of comfort where she can relax.
barbara nods and discards the book back onto the nightstand to collect more dust, turns out the small lamp, and settles in with ava’s head on her chest.
“thank you,” ava breathes.
“anything, always.”