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“Really, Mr. Dart, the Baron’s house?” I said as we approached the stables of the Baron Ragnor’s house. Against my better judgment, I had agreed to go “mushroom hunting” with my good friend, Mr. Dart. Last time it had led us to a meeting of cultists, so by comparison this was pretty tame, but I had not realized we would be breaking and entering tonight.
“Trust me, it will be worth it, Mr. Greenwing. The Opal of Rondé is the greatest jewel to ever be brought to South Fiellan, and besides, what else were you going to do with your evening? Read more of your puzzle poetry? Practice cake recipes?”
“Actually we were going to catalog some of the cuttings I had taken today.” This came from Hal, my former and current roommate, also the Duke of Fillering Pool. He had decided to join us as well, possibly because he did not believe me when I said that “mushroom hunting” did not involve any mushrooms. And surely even if it did, he wasn’t interested in fungi, was he?
We arrived and Mr. Dart took out a set of long and crooked-looking pins which must have been a set of lock picks. I hadn’t realized they were something he was proficient in, but even your closest friends have hidden depths. 30 seconds later we were through the door. The stables led into some dimly lit hallways that must have been for servants, and then to the kitchen.
“Hello, Mr. Dart!” said one of maids.
“Hello Daisy! We’re here to see the Honorable Rag. Have you seen him?
“Master Roald? He’s out at dinner at the Talgarths with the Baron. Shall I tell him you called?”
“That won’t be necessary. Thank you, Daisy” he said, helping himself to a wedge of cheese and giving her a wink as we went on our way.
“Aren’t we supposed to be incognito?” said Hal.
“When’s a maid ever reported someone for stealing a bit of food. Oh you mean the Ruby? It would be a lot more suspicious to be seen sneaking than to act like we belong here.”
“I thought it was an opal, though you had also said diamond earlier this evening.”
“Sapphire, ruby, it’s an adventure, Mr. Greenwing!”
When Mr. Dart gets into one of these moods, there’s no arguing with him, so I didn’t bother trying and we moved on. Up a flight of stairs, down a hallway, a right turn and then another hallway. We came to the third door on our left, and we went inside, where there was a giant emerald, sitting in a display case and glittering in the candlelight.
“This is it, the famous Emerald of Ghilousette. I won it fair and square from The Honorable Rag in a game of Poacher, and it is mine. So I will just be taking it.”
He lifted off the top of the display case, and as he did so, a loud bell started ringing. The Ragnors must have outfitted their jewel with a clockwork theft alarm made in Ghilousette when they acquired the emerald.
“Oops. Everybody run!” He grabbed Hal’s arm and I ran to follow them, but another arm grabbed mine and the door shut.
“Not so fast, thief!...Oh Mr. Greenwing, fancy seeing you here. I heard the alarms and thought someone was after the emerald, but it looks to still be here. Must have been a squirrel that tripped them.” The Honorable Rag opened the drawer on the desk and pressed a button, and the alarm stopped. “I see the emerald is still here. It’s fortunate that I was feeling unwell this afternoon and decided to skip dinner at the Talgarths. I’ll see about escorting you home.”
Unfortunately, the door to the room had closed, and it would not budge.
“I guess father must have gotten some extra surprises that I did not know about. It’s really interesting technology. I’m sure he will be home from the Talgarths’ in a few hours. Until then, you’re stuck with me!”
Fortunately there were a couple of books in the room, unfortunately they were on hydrology, which was not a subject I was particularly interested in. Still, I forced myself to look at the words on the page, rather than staring at how nicely The Honorable Rag’s thighs filled out those breeches. The Rag started humming a jaunty tune. I started to think of all the ways I could eviscerate Mr. Dart when I ran into him again.
“Don’t look so glum. I’m sure he will be home shortly.”
But the evening grew darker, and The Rag did not run out of repertoire. And it grew darker still, and he pulled out another candle for me to read by. Several hours later I knew all about the different types of sediments found on Daun. Finally dawn’s rosy fingers showed themselves.
“This is entirely unlike him. Maybe he assumed that I went to bed early. I guess I’ll have to do things myself.” And without warning, he delivered a powerful kick with his right leg, his thigh rippling with the effort. It reminded me of the knights of legend, using their strong muscles to wield heavy swords and slay dragons. And then another, and the door swung outward. He had worked up a bit of a sweat with the effort, and his blond hair gleamed in the light from the window that, now that I thought about it ,we could have probably escaped from.
“And a kiss from my fair gentleman for rescuing him?” he asked, as he suddenly grabbed me in an embrace, but held me gently enough that I could escape if I wanted to. I did not want to. His lips looked rather soft, and rather pink, like Violet’s, but more full. His mouth came towards mine. “There’s a good boy.”
His mouth was warm and lush. His tongue as powerful as his thighs. His arms held me strongly, and he smelled rather pleasant, despite the sweat. Our tongues traced each other, and he nipped my lip gently. His eyes were a rather dreamy shade of blue, like the sapphire that the emerald wasn’t. He gently led me down to the floor.
An hour later, two hours maybe? we disentangled ourselves.
“I should probably walk you over to the Dartingtons’ soon. I think Mr. Dart will be worried if you don’t show up soon. I told him I’d have you back in time for breakfast. ”
“Wait, he knew this would happen?”
“Knew it? It was he that suggested it!”
I tried several times to comprehend this as we walked over to the Dartington estate. My arm in Roald’s. It was actually rather pleasant, and I was surprised to find myself disappointed when we arrived there ten minutes later.
“Did you have a good time?” asked Mr. Dart when he met us at the front gate.
“I did indeed. It was an ingenious idea, Mr. Dart. And Jemis, don’t worry about your honor, I’ll be by this afternoon with a formal proposal.”
“You’ll want an sapphire for the ring. It was the stone he was the most excited over.”
And that is how I became engaged to The Honorable Roald Ragnor.