Chapter 1
Summary:
While Arjun's thoughts were full of childhood naiveté Yudhishthir's were morbid in nature as he weighed the scales and decided that Phalgun getting to know this from him would be a better alternative than some unknown relatives whose only names were known to them.
(And in some way, Yudhishthir just wanted to lighten the load. He wanted to tell someone to just get it off his chest. It hurt holding it in, and heavens Yudhishthir really wanted to cry.)
"They aren't coming back, Phalgun." Yudhishstir uttered those words as their meaning dawned on his little Aru (always too smart for his own good).
Arjun felt tears rolling down his cheeks even before he registered what eldest brother told him.
Chapter Text
Later, they would call it an auspicious day.
Later, they would rejoice.
However could they not? A son born from the King of Heavens was bound to be a very victorious one.
Yet on the day, youngest Kunti-putra Arjun was born was a day of tragedy.
The first to lay eyes on the young child was a sage, her eyes were soft as she held the fragile existence in her hands.
Her hands were gentle as she washed the dear thing, and wrapped him in a blanket.
A soft adoring smile on her face as she handed the darling babe to his father.
The father held his son with a promise of life long love in his eyes, the way all fathers do.
The rain was a light drizzle, but enough to make a soft patting noise, the comforting sort.
It was as if the heavens themselves were rejoicing the birth of this young one.
And in their joy they could help but weep.
And then the child opened their eyes.
The young Prince's eyes were like a painters pallete.
All colour's mixed together, one gaining more prominence to paint the whole pupil in it's shade only for a different shade to appear then.
Pandu gasped, and pulled his son closer.
The sage still held a soft warmth in her eyes.
Looking at the exiled King she said, "O King of Hastinapur, O lion among the Kuru, know this. Your son is no mere child. You," her smile turned sadder, "have been blessed by Time Lord himself."
Kunti, who had been faint until now, sobbed.
Pandu wanted to comfort his wife, but his son was openly sobbing, now.
Various shades of blue mixing, only for a hue of gray to be the most prominent.
The sage whispered, "Hush now, my dear. You are a Queen. It does not befit you to cry."
Kunti was hysterical now, clutching the bedsheets she pointed at the blanket wrapped babe, " HE IS A CURSE!! TAKE HIM AWAY TAKE HIM AWAY! PLEASE FOR ALL THAT IS PURE DROWN HIM!"
Pandu gulped, held his son closer.
Madri, hearing the shriek came inside the cottage where Kunti lay.
Pandu handed her his son, "Arjun."
The kuru King whispered to Madra's Princess.
"Arjun, my shimmer plucked from the heavens themselves."
Madri smiled and took the babe, she led him back to where Yudhishthir and Bheem were, playing.
It could be said, that it was on that day itself that Arjun's destiny was decided.
It was perhaps in the harsh rejections of his mother, or the failed platitudes of his father.
But then if destiny was as set in stone, maybe the Mahabharat would not have happened.
No, destiny was a culmination of choices fate had provided us.
And there was no curse out there as hurtful as the consequences of our own choices.
And in front of our young royal there were many harsh choices waiting.
(Six years)
Arjun though not raised like a prince was definitely spoiled like one.
The harsh treatment of his mother made his father and chhoti ma be extremely indulgent towards the young prince, and eldest brother followed the sane pattern.
Thus, his often habit of looking for extremely high trees to throw rocks at despite all the constant rebukes.
It was fun, Arjun had excellent aim.
And grabbing fruits to at for himself, ones which carried no threat of being stolen by Bhrata Bheem was a different sort of joy.
This time though Arjun was certain he was going to be shouted at.
He had spent the last three hours chasing butterflies in the forest.
As a result his clothes were extremely dirty, and long past his bed time.
But no one came to scold him.
Arjun kept waiting. It had been thirty minutes.
It was a routine as familiar as breathing to Arjun, to have it disturbed so, greatly distressed the young six year old Prince.
It was hilarious that in the grand scheme of things a ruined bed time routine was the most insignificant change.
Yet.
This change was one that hurt the child the most.
It was however far from the last change the Prince would suffer through.
In the life of the little prince change will come knocking like a hurricane leaving a mess of feelings and a family put together by sheer will behind.
But the young prince knew that not(or maybe hoped not), and, thus he did what kids did best- hope.
Hope a treacherous thing it is as the young royal would know today.
So treacherous that it denied the young kid awaiting his (Chhoti) Ma to come and sing lullabies like she always did.
His actual mother ('call me Matashree') did not really think of him as the apple of her eyes (understatement of millennium, mind you) and well his father .....he loved him, yes but having five sons competing for your affections with two being mere babes was bound to leave one a little love starved.
And with Arjun being who he was......well it isn't anything less than he deserves. And it's perfectly fine!
For them not to throw him out of their house was a blessing in itself.
Arjun had always been optimistic ('too optimistic ' Keshav would say) but well it's fine.
Anyways in another hour or so his mother would come with some candies she had procured from who knows where.
You see my lovely readers our dear prince has always had a sweet tooth.
And it was any Ma's Dharma to satisfy it(or she always said ).
Suddenly, the door creaked open, a youthful silhouette entered.
Arjun felt bitter disappointment as he noted it to be the familiar figure of his eldest brother( jyeshta) Yudhishthir, "a young strapping lad of thirteen" (as his father puts it).
With a weary sigh and a deep breadth Yudhishthir steadied himself to tell his sweet anuj(or Aru as they had taken to calling him behind Mata Kunti's back who was insistent upon maintaining formalities) about the tragedy that had just occurred.
But pain escaped is simply pain multiplied as the five brothers had learnt early on.
And the inevitable is best not delayed.
With mother so devastated she'd surely blame Aru and with him being so..........Aru-ish he'd believe her in a heartbeat.
All of his energy now had to be concentrated upon the fact that Aru and Matashree had to be as far away from each other as possible.
"Anuj, Chhoti Matashree and Pitashree have decided to take rest and leave, best not wait upon either of them."
Informed the eldest Kuru son as he hoped against hope that his instructions would be sufficient in convincing his brother to get rest as he really had no idea how to inform his brother of the only parental figure he had was gone.
(Yudhishthir really also wanted to just cry.)
His mind kept repeating the scene he had happened upon.
Matashree crying in a corner, father laid there and chhoti ma no where to be seen.
(His throat tightened as Yudhishthir kept repeating his mantra, do not cry. Please just not now. After this I'll cry. Just not now. Please please please please.)
But all his hopes were for naught as his brother chirped, "Okay, I'll await their return then. When shall they be returning, Jyesht?"
Arjun had always adored his eldest brother.
While him and his eldest brother weren't as close as eldest brother and second eldest brother they shared a harmonious bond.
But it wasn't something new, he'd always been the sore thumb in all of his five siblings.
Jyesht and Bhrata Bheem were extremely close while the twins were mere babes of two summers old.
That left him the social recluse, shy and painfully introverted child who had no interest in anything other than sweets, games of aiming, and chasing butterflies.
It was often his eldest brother who tried to include Arjun in the games.
It was Bhrata Yudhishthir who always indulged in Arjun's wishes most of all.
And it was him, who held Arjun, hugged him the most.
So looking at eldest brother's scruffy appearance Arjun did not wish to bother him when he already seemed so...exhausted.
Arjun could take a bath when chhoti ma returned.
He hated waiting, but he could be good at it.
While Arjun's thoughts were full of childhood naiveté Yudhishthir's were morbid in nature as he weighed the scales and decided that Phalgun getting to know this from him would be a better alternative than some unknown relatives whose only names were known to them.
(And in some way, Yudhishthir just wanted to lighten the load. He wanted to tell someone to just get it off his chest. It hurt holding it in, and heavens Yudhishthir really wanted to cry.)
"They aren't coming back, Phalgun." Yudhishstir uttered those words as their meaning dawned on his little Aru (always too smart for his own good).
Arjun felt tears rolling down his cheeks even before he registered what eldest brother told him.
And eldest brother's arms wrapped around him as both the brothers sobbed.
For innocence lost, for parents gone, and for the change.
In all this, Arjun's mind whipped up the image of a peacock feather crowned boy.
A flute with a tassel in his hands, a soft smile on his face, and love in his eyes.
"Keshav, Keshav, Keshav, Keshav, Keshav, Keshav!" his heart cried.
Miles away the young Gopal felt the agony of his soulmate as it twisted his gut, and he prayed for the first time in his eternal existence that he could be with his Parth.
But how could his prayers be answered for who is to answer your prayers when you yourself are God.
Chapter 2: Surrendering to Fate
Chapter Text
Arjun could scarcely comprehend what was happening.
No comprehension was a matter of understanding.
He understood what was going on but his heart wanted it to be wrong with all that he had. Alas fate wasn't a matter of choice rather of chance. And Arjun had already spun the wheel once. Thus, here he stood surrounded by who knows how many servant bhaiyas and didis as they did ..................whatever royal servants did for royalties.
Oh, and did he mention that, he- he!- was a royalty. Oh, and not just any royalty he was the hundred and third prince (heavens brother did say that parents were granted children by fate if they were good enough but wouldn't fate get tired of delivering so many children) of the Kuru vansh.
The Kuru Vansh! The one whose praises his father will (would) never get tired of speaking. But well maybe that had something to do with the fact of him being a king of this very kingdom. Was a king!
His father and Ma were .....dead. Having his gloomy mood return a hundredfold Arjun this focused his thoughts on the activity going around him under the supervision of his grand uncle. Woah!
He even forgot to mention that! He had a hundred and one cousins (so cool) and two uncles and one aunt and of course his personal favourite (don't tell Kakishree that she'd be upset she wasn't his favourite if she knew) grand uncle. He was the sweetest and the bestest
("That's not a word, Aru." A voice that sounded a lot like Jyesht said. But oh well what Jyesht doesn't know wouldn't hurt him.)
After knowing of his sweet tooth grand uncle arranged for several sweets!
All for him! He even stopped Bhrata Bheem from eating it! While Arjun's thoughts reflected his childhood curiosity.
His "sweetest and bestest" grand uncle's were thoughts of an exhausted mind and weary spirit. After getting to know of all the facts from Yudhishthir Bhishm was .............less than pleased.
As soon as Kunti and her five sons (his grand nephews) arrived he had observed the tention in Yudhishthir's expression and the anger Kunti held when addressing her own third and youngest son.
When news of Madri and Pandu's demise had reached Bhishm's ears through the spies he had allotted for their protection he had (needlessly it seems now) worried for the treatment the youngest two of the Pandvas would receive from Kunti.
And now all of that worry had been transferred to Arjun instead.
Knowing that five of your nephews were the sons of Devs themselves was not an easy fact to digest but knowing one of them (a child of mere six summers old) was the incarnation of the Lord of Time himself was a lot to take in at once.
Needless to say the less the number of people who were aware of this fact the better. Thus, he hadn't even mentioned it to the Maharaj and Maharani.
After all his loyalty was to the Kuru Vansh if he believed that some facts were better not heard by the Maharaj then it was something he had all right to do.
Thus so far only Arjun, himself, Yudhishthir (though he wasn't aware the extent of his younger brothers power yet due to the fact that the Lord of Time was not a much talked about character in the scriptures) Kunti, and Vidhur were the only people who knew about it.
Less damage control then.
Though how could Kunti treat her own flesh and blood like some sort of unlovable freak was beyond him.
No child should be subjected to such neglect, especially his grandson! And oh he'd been completely besotted with the idea of grandchildren.
Yes Duryodhan was a bit too arrogant but then which sixteen summers old teen wouldn't be? That too a prince.
But oh! Arjun was simply someone to spoil.
Those squishy cheeks, not that he, the protector of the Kurus would do something so uncivilized as squishing a child's cheeks.
But anyway, so he pampered upon his sweet and adorable grandson ( did he mention cultured and mannered though a bit shy.)
Just like he deserved. Getting a million sweets was nothing! But alas he had other duties to attend to.
It was tiresome being a grandfather, father, protector of the Kuru clan and a royal adviser all together.
"Come, child. Let's put you to bed shall we?", beckoned Pitamaah as he pulled Arjun out of his daydreams of sugar and sweets.
"This is the room assigned to you, Aru. I shall commence a tour for you tomorrow. But you best get some rest, now. There are servants stationed outside the doors. Call for any if your needs. Sweet dreams, my child." , were his Pitamaah's parting words to him as he was laid to bed and covered with blankets that would put clouds to shame.
Sleep soon overtook the young prince, as the moonlight visible through the slightly parted curtains lulled him to sleep.
But peace is a mere illusion created by the hypocrisy of human beings.
And thus the young royal awoke throat hurting and eyes burning with unshed tears. He quietly slipped out of his sheets and stood in front of the majestic mirror his chambers were equipped with.
His pale face, sweaty forehead and silky wavy black hair were familiar features that greeted him.
What wasn't so familiar was the unnaturally eyes of crimson shade that were associated with the Lord of Time.
While Phalgun certainly had incarnated upon the mortal realm as the Pandu Putra Arjun, his memories as the Lord of Time hadn't been lost, just his perception had dulled as per his mortal age in order to not overwhelm him.
All of that had been possibilities taken into consideration when he had taken the decision of coming here.
What he hadn't considered was his powers evolving so quickly.
And with the vision he just had he knew it wasn't getting any better any time soon.
Fate sure loved making a mockery out of him making him witness everything he could never change.
Not by some moral duty towards maintaining the balance of the cosmos, he'd never been capable of detaching himself from other people.
That was Keshav. He on the other hand suffered from an excessive amount of empathy.
Another reason he'd never once intervened with the flow time was that in doing so the penalty wasn't just a personal grievance. He'd give up his soul if it would save people.................no the cost was much greater.
These were the thoughts that rummaged the archer to be's mind as he surrendered to fate yet again. Dissolving into gut wrenching cries as realities came crushing in devouring any shred of hope he had left
Chapter 3: A Doomed Friendship
Chapter Text
Arjun had always been the social recluse one among his outgoing and fun loving siblings.
And he had never been more aware of that fact until now. Since Kul Guru had been called due to some urgent business by Maharaj Kakashree, all of the disciples had been given free reign to do as they pleased.
His younger siblings were sitting together, while Bhrata Bheem was God knows where. (And believe him he didn't know) And jyesht was supervising upon them all, along with their cousins.
He had absolutely no wish to mingle with their dearest cousins. Since their arrival five summers ago their cousins hadn't been the most welcoming sort, or maybe it was just him. With this the young child of eleven summers old sat up from his resting spot under the cool neem tree and dusted his extravagant robes.
His sharp eyes surveying around the forest clearing and decided to visit the forest to pick some fruits for himself and his brothers (since Dushyala Di wasn't allowed to learn the "brutish art of weaponry" as per Kakishree). Oh what he wouldn't give to be in Di's spot.
Reaching a big tree with juicy ripe mangoes ready to be picked and eaten. Declaring the tree worthy of supplying him and his brothers with mangoes he picked up a stone took aim and was about to let go when the barking of a dog awoke him from his trance.
A dog entered his line of vision and following him a youth of jyesht's age who adorned tribal attire carrying bow and arrows.
Predicting the teens next move Arjun took his aim as the boy's arrow and shot the stone with remarkable speed.
As predicted the boy had just at that moment let go of the the arrow towards the dog but the dogs life had been saved by God himself(literally) the stone struck the arrow obstructing its path unabridged it to put an end to the dog's life.
"Hey! I was practicing archery you privileged brat!" shouted the idiot who though archery was another brutish art of slaughter.
"Oh! Were you? I only saw someone trying to slaughter a dog with not even a shred of talent for the fine and delicate art of archery." Intoned Arjun his voice dripping with sarcasm.
Being a prince came with privileges and one of them was making people obey you, thus, the confidence the once stuttering youth held.
" What do you know about archery, kid. You're barely out of the cradle yourself." Replied the still no named youth, which was rude.
"Yeah! Tells us what you know if someone "barely out of the cradle" is able to deflect your shot! Oh so great Master!?"
"Uuh! Listen kid, it's not like that dog's your pet, neither was my intended shot you. So, just let it go. You should be mindful of your elders, you know." Spoke the exasperated no-name guy.
"Oh! My esteemed elder, apologies if I offended you. You seem like someone with exceptional grace and poise giving that during the entire length of our conversation you've yet to even once try to introduce yourself." Replied the "kid", voice dripping with sarcasm.
Had there been a God of sarcasm they surely would've knelt in front of the young prince.
"It's Eklavya, kid. The son of the Vanraj. Do listen to your superiors."
The now named Eklavya spoke with thinly veiled superiority.
"Oh! A thousand pardons, my lord. In front of you the great son of the Vanraj, I, a mere prince of the Kuru's. The third son of Lord Pandu is but a mere ant, no?" Spoke Arjun words intended to carry a sense of humbleness yet tone was anything but.
Upon finally opening his eyes from the blindness of superiority Eklavya noticed the young child's -no, prince's- fine clothing and the shimmering jewels that hung from his frame.
Upon finally coming to the conclusion that the child was not merely pulling his leg and was indeed telling the truth, Eklavys stood there stumped not knowing what to do.
Alas he needn't have as when he was just about to say something to salvage the situation Arjun's Grandsire had arrived to take the young royals back.
With a nod of acknowledgement at the teen in front of him. Arjun made his way towards his grandsire along the dog he had saved
~Two days later~
Arjun stood in front of his Matashree's chambers in the dead of the night.
While he had absolutely no wish to stay here in a stalemate. Arjun wasn't able to decide whether he should enter the chambers or not. Suffering from an agonizing nightmare was nothing new. But usually when he had a nightmare he had the mentality of a God who was older than the world itself.
Now as an eleven year old, his mental capabilities had decreased severely.
In the past it was(chhoti) Ma who helped him but as of now................she clearly wasn't an option.
After her demise he would've gone to his grandsire but grandsire had been occupied with tons of paperwork recently and Arjun did not want to be the one to disturb him from it.
Eldest brother was a busy as well. The only option that left was Matashree. Deciding that it now or never.
Arjun entered his birth mother's chambers. The sight that greeted him was not a welcome one.
Matashree lay there on the ground smelling horribly stinky. And around her tons of now empty wine glasses lay now discarded. Gut wrenching cries was heard from the chamber's resident as she lay there with no sign of recognition at her youngest son's arrival.
"Matashree.......?" Arjun called out, in hesitation, as he saw that his birth mother showed no signs of acknowledging his entrance any time soon.
"You! Why are you here? Haven't you taken enough from me? What more do you want?" muttering this and doubtlessly other infinite other insults the princess of Kuntibhoj looked as she had lost it.
Arjun knew that his mother didn't necessarily love him as much she loved his other brothers(oh! If only Madhav had been here he would've shaken his dearest friend by the shoulders and told him of how good Arjun had become at lying to his own self, but well, Krishn wouldn't have allowed someone to speak a word of anything but deep respect towards the one who held the highest place in his heart).
But that was no reason for Arjun to let anyone to look down upon his mother. With this though he gathered all the little cups and made as many journeys to took to dispose of the cups his mother had.
Arjun wasn't totally oblivious, he had been brought up as a Kuru prince after all.
A lady's honor was a fragile thing that society treated with nothing but disregard. Females were easy prey in the eyes of history.
If someone were to discover what his mother had consumed her honor would be brought to question. And as her son it was his foremost duty to protect his mothers honor.
With this Arjun secretly snooped into the medicinal cabinet his elder brother maintained in his room, gathering some pills for the hangover(brother had kept them around since Bhrata Bheem had unknowingly consumed alcohol when eldest cousin brother Duryodhan had jokingly given Bhrata Bheem alcohol as a sharbat as a prank).
Keeping the pills on the bedside and shielding his mother's frame with a blanket Arjun took his leave.
~Next Day~
Stepping into the same clearing he had two days prior Arjun let his heart feel all the torment he had blocked.
His eyes filled with tears as he recalled the words his mother had shot as fiercely as arrows. He knew he couldn't blame his mother since she had said that in a state of intoxication. Thus, only him and all the awful luck he had given his dear family were to blame.
It wasn't as if mother had said anything wrong. He knew(chhoti) Ma and father were going to die yet he hoped(oh! How treacherous hope truly is he and learnt that day) that he would be wrong.
But when had mere hope ever yielded result?
Just believing and worshiping of God's didn't result in success neither did lamenting of past regrets wrote them anew.
With these morbid thoughts Arjun cried his heart out in the forest clearing.
Hearing his cry, Eklavya wondering why the youth who had been arguing with him for the past two days.
He wouldn't say it to the child but he thought of the child wit familial fondness rather than irritation.
Seeing him cry, Eklavya spurned into action and gathered the child in his arms and soothed his cry. Making Arjun seize the idiotic self depreciating comments that came from Arjun's lips.
This, my beloved readers was the start of a friendship doomed to end in tragedy. But oh, even the lord of Time himself was unable to stop this. At least we can remember it.
Chapter 4: An Emotional Enlightenment
Chapter Text
Krishn had always been a quick study with absolutely no amount of patience. That was Parth's virtue.
Aah, Parth his dearest............honestly he wasn't sure what Parth was to him anymore. Him and Parth shared a history together would be a massive understatement. His and Parth's story would be incomplete without the other.
They were like two parts of a whole. Two faces of the same coin. Or as he often like to put it, Parth was the light of the sun forever brilliant and bright, lighting up the darkest of times, a ray of hope.
And he was the intensity of the sun, Krishn himself was the protector while his.............soulmate (?) was the guide. It wasn't like his feelings for his soulmate(why did the term feel so ....... Correct) were ever a matter for him to debate upon.
It's just that Kam Dev(uuh! Stupid love god and his meddling) had given him an undue advice when there were only three earthly hours left for him to leave his residence and take birth on the mortal plane of existence.
~16 years ago~
He was perplexed.
Oh! Wasn't that an understatement. He was officially royally godly stuck.
And he had absolutely no idea what to do. On normal occasions he would just visit his Parth who would often play the role of some sort of an (un)willing listener to his woes.
But if his Parth was the cause for his pondering then who was he supposed to go to? It was well known in the Heavenly Realm that him and his Parth had the strongest of bond out of anyone. No one in this universe could even hope to be an one upon infinityth of what his Parth is, was, and always will be to him.
.............................
Which is well awesome but not the point.
Uuh! See that's just what it was, his Parth was tooooooooooooo Parthish. Not his fault, anyone else would do the same.
....................
Which is kinda true but again not the point, what was the point were his feelings for his...............wife. Oh! Heavens above somebody help him.
He couldn't even utter that title without cringing. And that in itself the issue.
Lord Narayan and Lady Lakshmi the eternal lovers...........had fallen out of love for each other. He knew even without a verbal confirmation from his long time companion(that title fell into non-cringey territory) that she had also lost any and all romantic affections for him, it wasn't that they hated each or had been indifferent to each other, rather he held quite a fondness for his Parth's cousin.
And that was where the second problem came from.
If she had been someone else he would just have a talk and they'd part on good terms. But she was his Parth's cousin sister, he had to ensure that nothing he said or did made her feel sad(which in relation ensured that his Parth wasn't sad, he hated it whenever there was anything other than a smile on his Parth's face).
So........here he was currently making his way towards Kam Dev's residence. Hopefully that blabbering good for nothing heavenly equivalent to a bafoon of a match maker had something up his sleeves for him.
Without knocking (what was the need when the whole of heaven is his, with him being the Lord of the Universe) he entered upon the main hall where the Kam Dev resided.
"My Lord, how might I serve you?", questioned the god of love, who was wary, yes, but not surprised. In all honesty, if one were look closer they'd notice he even appeared pleased with the arrival of Lord of the Universe.
"Do not pretend to be oblivious, doesn't befit someone of your stature, Kam Dev."
Neither does it befit you My Lord of Obliviousness, but that doesn't seem to stop you. (Kam Dev cursed in his heart.)
"Of course not, my lord. I did predict you coming here but isn't it a bit too late, my lord? There are only three earthly hours left for your departure. The Time Lord would follow in three earthly years, while my lady would be departing with you.", questioned the god of love.
"That's precisely why. It would be better for me to get this off my shoulders before departing for the mortal realm. The need to establish Dharm is stronger than ever, how can I focus on the task at hand with my personal affairs are yet to be sorted. And I can't help it when a sudden emotional enlightenment would come upon me." sassed the Lord.
"Begging your pardon, my lord. But if it's about my lady and my lord then shouldn't you just have a talk about it with my lady. What's the need to come to me, for it would seem you've already figured it out."
"Yes. But she isn't only my wife. She's the cousin sister of my Parth. And it isn't like we have a god of friendship, love seemed like the best bet."
"My lord, no offense, but it's been millions of years since you married my lady. Yet, you've lost your feelings for her", the Lord clearly did not like where this was going," then how come, the same isn't true for your friendship with the Lord of Time. It only takes mortal friends some years to split ap"-
"Oh! Are you going to judge us by mortal standards, now Kam Dev?"
"Nothing of that sort, my lord." Kam dev quickly spit out, seeing the tell tale signs of anger on the Lord's face.
"I just mean, that have you ever wondered on the exact nature of your feelings for your friend?" questioned the god of love, putting great emphasis on the term friend. As if disclosing a great secret. But the diety of love was also aware that he was stepping on dangerous territories.
Yet he couldn't help it. Oh! In the name of all the lovers in the world, he was exhausted by the Lord's obliviousness and the Time Lord's heartache.
" I wasn't aware my feelings for my Parth were something that could be brought into question." Spoke the Lord. Perplexed but finding the love god's question one worth pondering over. He hadn't ever questioned the nature of his feelings towards his Parth. Since the day they'd both been born they'd both been stuck at the hip. He'd never quite cared for someone as intensely as he did for his Parth.
No, not even his love(?) for his wife could amount to even one millionth of what his love for his Parth was. And why not? He'd never met someone like his Parth. Someone so good, so brilliant, so smart, so Parth-like. All the words in the whole universe weren't enough for him describe his Parth, neither were they worthy. Not even his love for his wife...............wait! Backtrack! Since when has he started comparing his clearly (even if in the past) romantic love for his wife to the all encompassing love he had for his Parth. Could it be..................
Seeing, finally(finally! Oh someone call the other gods! It would seem Mahadev won the bet. Which wasn't anything new. But the oblivious Lord finally gained an enlightenment), the sign of realisation flitter across the Lord's face. The love god quickly grabbed it before the Lord of obliviousness dismissed it yet again.
"My lord,( I'd say I'm no expert but that'd be a lie, since I quite clearly am) love, true love, is the one constant in your life. Humans blabber about love being a selfless emotion. But nothing's more farther than the truth, love is the most selfish emotion of all. It makes even gods commit sins. Love isn't something that happens at once. It's a steady process happening over the years. It's like the beams of sunlight that slither in from the smallest of crooks without our knowing. We only realize what has happened when the light becomes too intense to ignore."
Well didn't that correctly sum up all the love he felt for his Parth. His Parth had always been the one constant for him. Never had he ever felt even a sliver of resentment, or envy towards his Parth. He really had fallen for his Parth (literally and figuratively). Uh! But there was no time. No worries he'd charm his Parth in the mortal realm. It wasn't hard to do. His Parth had always cared for him. But first he needed to talk with his soon to ex-wife and co-conspirator.
"I shall take my leave now." With this the Lord dissolved into mere winds even those stopped after a few moments. What remained was the smell of parijath that the Lord always emitted. With a sigh, the love god, who had exhausted all of his matchmaking powers today, went to call his co-matchmakers(a.k.a. co-conspirators/other gods) to inform them of the first development in the love life (only his own heart could attest to how much he'd suffered to utter these words) of the Lord and Shri Phalgun.
~16 years later~
And here he was. Wondering and worrying about his Parth. This life wasn't going to be easy on his Parth but he had sworn to himself as soon they met again he'd ensure his Parth was alright. He didn't care if it was Time Lord or the third Pandu Putra all that mattered was that he was his Parth.
"Krishn, come! Lalla!"
Yep he'd save the world, establish Dharm, confess to his Parth and they'd have their happy ever after. But first he needed some makhan and his maiyaa.
~in Hastinapur~
Arjun was worried. Suffice to say that all of his brothers were as well. The thirteen year old teen was busy pondering (yet again) about the poisoning incidence involving second eldest brother Duryodhan and Bhrata Bheem. It was ...........a worrying matter. He had never had a negative image of his cousins.
On the contrary, he didn't quite believe they were bad. No one was born evil. It wasn't an inherent quality. On the other hand, he hadn't seemed one so determined and brave like his second eldest brother Duryodhan. Once he decided something it might as well be law. He didn't blame either of his brothers or cousins for the incidence.
It was bound to happen. With all the clear bias most showered upon the Pandavas and Maharaj continuously spouting of all the injustice he had suffered (honestly, get over it, he seemed like a toddler throwing a fit) along with his own uncle supporting the claims of his father, brother Duryodhan was bound to be lead astray sooner rather than later.
"Arjun, pay attention." Jyesht whisper shouted at him. Oh! Right he had forgotten he was supposed to be paying attention to whatever idiotic battle his cousin and Bhrata Bheem were up to.
Honestly it was beyond annoying watching kids fight. He had seen much better. This was only yawn worthy.
What however was not yawn worthy was the dog that ran past him with an arrow in his mouth. Arjun made haste to get to the dog. Eager to get the dog to a medic. The castle wasn't much farther from here.
Quickly taking the dog Arjun calmly subdued the weakened creature and handed him to the sarthi that stood by the carriages at the guru kul, giving strict instructions to have the dog be examined by the best animal healer. Waiting till the time the chariot set of, Arjun made his way to his guru Dron and brothers.
Upon arriving at the scene however what he saw was much more heart breaking than anything else he'd ever seen.
His friend Eklavya (or Bhrata Ekam as he'd taken to calling him) cutting of his own thumb as his brother (siblings and cousins) and teacher watched.
A sob resounding in the air. Who so ever was screaming he wished they wouldn't. His heart was breaking. Oh! With the look his jyesht gave him, it would seem it was him that was screaming. And with that Arjun's world went black.
Chapter 5: A Love Not Returned
Chapter Text
~So many years ago, that I can't count~
"Your Highness! Be careful!"
"Ooh! Silly child, be careful!."
"Your Highness!"
Were the cries that rang amongst the castle of Ronya where the royal family resided
The young prince's shenanigans were, to the surprise of absolutely no one, while amusing to watch, extremely chaotic. The young heir wasn't someone who could be tamed.
And as the only person the young royal listened was currently occupied, thus the mayhem.
The kingdom of Ronya was extremely wealthy and prosperous hence no resources had been spared in the upbringing of the prince. And this was the reason of his untameable and flamboyant behaviour.
"Whoops!" the young prince thought as he ran with all his might( which was a lot mind you, regardless of what his sword trainer thought) and sought escape from his afternoon lessons.
Which wasn't his fault, even his dearest friend who was the most studious person the royal had ever chanced upon sought relief from them.
And well.........who'd want to sit at one place for five hours straight?
If his motivation to seek relief from his afternoon lessons( highly unnecessary in his point of view) were somehow inspired from seeing how his latest prank played out well nobody was any wiser.
"Uh! You silly child, when will you learn to that these lessons are for your own good." Huffed his teacher who had, by now, caught up to him.
"When you'll learn that my and your ideas of good are disturbingly different, old man. And farewell beloved teacher of mine. Let's never see each other again. Ok? Well, who said I asked for your opinion."
And with that the young prince disappeared in a gust of wind leaving his teacher in dismay
" What crime did I commit to get this one as my disciple?"
" The same I committed by getting you as guru." Came the prince's voice from who knows where.
"Prince Krishn!" shouted his guru.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
People of now worshipped Gods as deities with no flaws and beings so far above the common mortal man. Never once knowing that these Gods were once mortals plagued by the same faults and problems that they were with.
Gods of now had once been human too. Wandering in the same plain of existence that the humans now do. Of course they led lives burdened with misfortune graver than what men of now can even comprehend.
It's a tale lost to history. One older than the Mahabharat and Ramayan themselves. Perhaps it was humanity itself that removed it not wishing to glance upon the painfully humane errors that their Gods committed.
Or maybe perhaps it was history itself that decided to forget it but whatever the case may have been the tale and it's authenticity hadn't been lost, forgotten-yes, lost-no.
The tales begins from a kingdom known as Ronya known for its prosperity and wealth. It's people were known as the Celestials. It was the lone kingdom to rule then, governed by the royal family and counsel that consisted of many not only learned but those who were wise beyond their years, or were simply capable of understanding the problems of the common folk.
Under the royal family they were three other major families as well. The first one was known as the Ikunavats. Possessing the powers of destruction. The other was the Vidhayak, possessing powers of seeing fate, but sworn to never disclose it. And the third and perhaps the least known ones were Kal, possessing powers to glance upon time itself.
While the royals held the powers of preservation, rulling as head of the other three. Powers were passed onto the most worthy heir. If by the will of fate the chosen one possessed a corrupted heart then the powers stopped manifesting themselves in them.
Then, a new one was chosen of the same bloodline, as no other bloodline was potent enough to carry these powers in themselves.
To govern these powers and the ones who harnessed them another counsel had been established. While to govern the counsel the eternals ( or so the chosen were called) were given power, ensuring that the other didn't go out of line.
Thus the two factions kept the other in check maintaining harmony.
But tragedy struck. And the peaceful kingdom of Ronya went up in flames taking its people and wealth along with it.
But four survived. These four were none other than the young prince and the heirs of the three major families.
Attaining immortality they became the four pillars of the universe as we now know them as. Lord Vishnu, Lord Shiva, Lord Brahma and Lord Phalgun. These four ascended and they took responsibility of the human life that came after them. But now their powers had grown.
Fate wasn't only to be seen but written as well now, destruction wasn't only a little mayhem rather a tsunami that could swallow one whole. Time was now to be governed and the Lord of All in Existence was to be crowned. The Lord then brought other beings into existence such as that who were similar to celestials.
And peace reigned supreme. But the mystery of Ronya remained just that a mystery.
~~~~~still in the past~~~~~~~
" Aru! Come along!" shouted Krishn, pulling along his dearest Parth along him.
" For the last time my name's Parth!" shouted the heir of time itself.
"What gave you the impression I cared?"
"Well, you care enough to annoy me upon it !"
" Ahh! My dearest Parth, come now. How could you be mad at me?"
"Oh! I don't know. Maybe just like every other person in existence."
"Ah! You broke my heart! However shall this wound be healed?" came the dramatic reply as was expected. There stood the heir of the kingdom of Ronya dressed in his royal attire with a hand on his chest, head thrown back and with an expression of suppressed laughter.
"Funny, I thought your heart was on the other side."
" Nope, you are my heart, wherever you stand that's the place my hear is."
"Flattery will get you no where."
"But with you it seems to get me everywhere if our current location is to be taken into account."
With that the young noble realised that they had indeed reached the destination where his best friend wished for them to visit.
" Wherever are we? And better yet, why are we here?" spoke Parth.
" This is known as the realm of wishes. It's said that if you come here on a full moon night you'll get whatever wish you made. What's the one thing you want Aru?" spoke Krishn whose dark skin glistened in the moonlight. Beautiful eyes looked upon Parth with an inquisitive sort of look, curiosity shinning through.
" I want something that's not mine to have. What of you?" answers Parth looking at the, unrequited and oblivious, love of his life with alook of melancholy.
"Silly Parth. Who wants something what we can't have? And me well I .........." The young prince stuttered.
"Would you say that if I were to tell you what I felt for you." Thought Parth.
It was wrong Parth knew. A male in love with a male, scandalous and sinful. But he couldn't regret it. Krishn was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
Who cared if Krishn didn't love him, at least he was with him.
But, Parth thought as resolve within him slowly grew, he needed to tell Krishn.
If nothing else then a closure. He didn't want to spend the rest of his days wondering if maybe he should've confessed.
Krishn wouldn't shun him, of that Parth was sure. If push came to shove he'd just say he was joking.
With that in mind Parth opened his mouth to finally confess. And who knew maybe some deity out there might bestow some mercy upon him and Krishn reciprocated his feelings.
" I'm in love with your cousin. And I know she's your sister but she's so pretty, I've never seen someone so pretty". Exclaimed Krishn. Turning away to avoid his Parth's reaction.
And that was when Parth learned that heartbreak wasn't just a poets way of description it was a literal. And Parth could hear his heart breaking as he intoned the words-
"Oh! I'll help you win her over then!"
"Really! Thanks! I was thinking of gifting her flowers. Which ones does she like?" Questioned the young royal.
She didn't like flowers that Parth knew. And were Krishn to gift her such his love story would come to an end before it started.
"Idiot! She hates flowers, she prefers music. How about I teach you how to play a Veena ?" Suggested Parth surprised his voice could be heard from the craking of his heart.
"But hey! You didn't tell me what is was that you want." Questioned Krishn
"I want something's that is not mine to have." Answered Parth.
Ooh, their love had been written in the stars alright,
Who cared if our stars had forgotten to cross paths
I'll forever orbit you and want your light
I don't care if the whole universe laughs
Chapter 6: Hope
Chapter Text
~~~~~Back In The Present~~~~~~
Arjun was panicking.........wait no scratch that he was having a panic attack.
'Wow! Cool.'
Would you look at that, having a panic attack in an Era where no one was even aware of their existence. Cool......will there ever be something he won't suck at? Oh! No need to answer that question it is rhetoric. And well Arjun's always been a self aware person.
Thus, he came to the conclusion that he pathetically atrociously sucked at any and everything in the whole insipid universe. Oh! Heavens above, when would he stop this? Can he not, for once in his immortal life not mess something up? Were Gods not supposed to be infallible? But no he had to be the exception to that rule as well.
Before Arjun could continue the mess that were his thoughts a sweet melody invaded and broke (thank God, literally) his chain of thoughts.
"Parth..........love." came Krishn's voice as mesmerizing as ever.
And that was when Arjun knew he had lost the plot or marbles whatever suits your fancy but well given the rules of grammar.......no wait he's going off track......wait when was he on track....as tracks had not been invented yet....No stop!
Right something was wrong, no surprise there when was anything ever right in his life, since Krishn would never address him as such. Nope, and he absolutely did not want to be addressed as such.
Nope!
Krishn sighed, was it of relief or exhaustion he himself could not distinguish. Millenniums had passed yet his Parth remained the same.
It was exhilarating as mush as it was exhausting. These circumstances were not the ones he had expected their reunion to be under. But well.........it is all fine.
Or at least that was what he tried to delude himself with.
"Might I?" came Krishn's melodious voice, oh in the name of all that is sweet why did the man had to be so ...........Krishnish. No fair.
Wait he asked something. Upon drawing the conclusion that his (Ha! If only) Madhav awaited a response Arjun nodded his head without even knowing what Krishn was asking for.
It is his Madhav after all.
Seeing that he had attained his Parth's permission. Krishn slowly, as to not frighten the already panicked teen, took his Parth's face within his one hand and started running soothing circles on his Parth's back with the free one.
All while whispering sweet reassurances in his Parth's ears. It wasn't anything new actually even before they had become Gods (especially before that) his Parth's feeling sometimes caused his Parth to go well ............you get the memo.
Anyways he has more important stuff to be worried about than be lost in his ponderings of the past long done and dusted.
With that he refocused his attention on the sole worthy being in existence. Fortune seems to favor him as his labor yielded results. He watched with unabashed joy as the archer's breath gained some stability not the wreck they were before. But his stability of mind was still under question.
"Madhav....?" Though the words were intended as a statement it had a questioning edge to it.
"Hmmm. Yes, Parth it is me." Came the reply. Voice steady as ever as if they were teens again. Thinking of plans far beyond them. As if they had the whole world within their grasp. Not the time for it! Arjun reminded himself. Not that there was ever any time for it.
"What are you doing here?" subtle as ever Arjun, and with that level of annoyance in his voice Arjun would not blame Krishn is he secretly cursed him. Heavens, he was surprised they were still friends after all this time.
Way to go! To make the only person who found him tolerable and did not mind his silence hate him.
Wow! Arjun sassed himself. He'd never been the emotionally mature one that was Krishn's job. There was a reason Krishn had been his only friend his entire childhood.
And he'd been Krishn's. Krishn couldn't befriend anyone due to his status in the hierarchy and as for Arjun well......it wasn't about what Arjun wanted. Rather that the other children never wanted to befriend the weird eyed freak whose eyes constantly changed colors.
It wasn't his fault or choice anyway given that the powers of time naturally manifested in one's eye there was hardly anything Arjun could do about it. Back to the present ! Jeez, he sucked even at this.
Yet, it seemed he had regained his focus in time(wow! A nice pun) to hear Krishn's reply that he'd rather not have heard at all.
"Aww. No thank yous. Seriously Parth, after all I do for." Krishn said his lips held in a pout. And Arjun was most definitely not feeling weak in his knees. Nope!
"What have you done for me except making my life miserable." Arjum spoke, yet, a grin still made it's way to his face as his eyes crinkled ij withheld laughter. It would not do to laugh while he tried to admonish Krishn. His friend was spoiled as it was.
"Miserable, whatever sin have I committed, in my deep forever increasing affection for you? Won't you pardon me? My sweet, Parth?" Did he just......
..............Goodness, who do you pray to when you yourself are God. Arjun felt like a child again wishing he could throw tantrum and make Krishn stop with those absolutely sinful words. Alas........How he wished Krishn meant them the way Arjun wanted.
Yet, Arjun was also aware (self aware remember) that Krishn absolutely did not intent for his words to sound as flirtatious and that Arjun had absolutely no chance to have his Madhav's heart. But, alas, that did not stop his stomach from doing those weird flip-flops it always did. Who knows maybe he could be a gymnast. Well, he should give it a try, once it became an actual progression, that is.
"Oh, really must I remind you that it is you who suggested I come down along with you?"
"Well, you've always liked traveling no, what better place than earth?"
" Not sure about earth. But I absolutely wouldn't mind traveling over your body."
"Oh, my sweet, you just need to say the words, I cam never deny you anything."
"Enough, Madhav, what's your purpose for being here?" questioned Arjun for he couldn't take another one of Krishn's flirtation without combustion. He was well aware of how crimson his own cheeks were.
" Why, my love, I believe the answer to your query is the only possible one. You. I am here for you. So tell me, my dear, whatever happened for you to be sent in such a state?"
"It is nothing of importance, Krishn. We shouldn't meet now. You are aware that godly powers should not be used as one pleases when in their mortal form, no?" Scolded Arjun, the usage of Krishn instead of Madhav showing that he would not be budged upon this.
With a sigh, this time, he was more than aware that it was one of frustration, Krishn bowed and held Arjun's hand as a knight held that of a princess. Giving it a light brush against his lips, Krishn tried to ingrain this feeling in his brain.
And with that, he disappeared and with him the mind place Krishn had created for the two of them did as well. And Arjun was sent into the grueling reality away from his safe haven.
Arjun awoke as if from the verge of a nightmare, his cheeks red. His heart hammered in his chest as he wondered what had spawned that reaction from his best friend. Krishn was flirtatious, yes, but seldom did he initiate physical kind that wasn't a brush of their shoulders or their hands seeking the others when in a moment of distress.
Yet, Arjun's traitorous heart couldn't help but hope for that to happen again. See, how pathetic he was. Krishn was his cousin sister's husband, his best friend. And here he was, hoping for a romance to occur between them.
Arjun had never been able to cease what he felt for Krishn. Millenniums had passed, yet here he was. Behaving like some love-sick teen. But wasn't that just what he was. He'd been in love with his Madhav before he even knew what love was. But enough of his love sick pondering, there were matters worth more importance than his pathetic thoughts.
Like Ekam bhrata. Meeting Krishn had lessened the panic, yet the anger and hurt were still there. Lingering behind. Quickly standing up on his feet Arjun reached for his rove that was neatly folded right next to his bed. After adorning the robe Arjun began to make his way to Pitamaah.
Which luckily for him did not take a lot of time. Given the fact that Pitamaah stood just outside his chambers pacing as he often did when worry about who knows what (well he, being the Lord of Time probably did, but who cares, well you do, then I don't) had him forgoing the strict royal strictures that demanded absolute control of one's thoughts and actions.
"Arjun!" came Pitamaah's worried call upon seeing his grandson standing when the last time he had glanced upon his form crumbling was still fresh in his mind. His sweet grandson lying ashen and still. Had he not possessed the self control and the self restraint he often administered on himself he would surely would've done something he would not regret,but the King would not like. But panicking wouldn't have helped his grandson's condition. Thus, he remained calm.
Arjun found himself engulfed by his Pitamaah. It was nice......it carried with it the feeling of safety and reassurence. Yet, as much as he wanted that now was not the time to bask in it.
"Pitamaah, Ekam...Eklavya.... What happened to him?" Arjun steeled himself for the response, aware of the answer. Yet he did what he always did. Hope, a treacherous thing it was. Yet, it was all he could do.
He had known of what would happen when he befriended Ekam Bhra...no he had lost the right to call him that. Eklavya befriending him had been a curse as well as a blessing. The tide of time was not to be stopped or altered all one could do was........hope.
"He is fine, alas his thumb.....well it is not. His father the Van Raj has decided that it would be favorable for him to return."
" Oh." Exclaimed Arjun, feeling numb. He felt like crying but what purpose did tears serve him. When, all was said and done he was the one at fault, he had known what was going to occur, yet, like every other time he had hoped. Yet, being unable to cry was not the same as unable to feel grief.
Pitamaah let his arms be a safe harbour for his grandson who neither cried nor wept, stood there motionless and still as if all of time was visible to him, and he was the one observing helpless and weak.
Chapter 7: Being In Those Chapals
Chapter Text
Today was the day. The day every warrior awaited (why? Well Arjun has no idea except the fact that maybe all the warriors in the world lack a functioning brain cell! Well.............they have not been discovered ...............but still!) the moment of triumph (social awkwardness) celebration (social anxiety) and maturity (stupidity more like it!).
Not like anyone has asked for his opinion. But hey! Often the wisest of voices are went unheard and pearls of wisdom ignored. Humanity wouldn't need God's if they could just accept the fact that they are stupid!
In his musings upon brainless humanity (a most important one he assures you) he ignores the fact that someone has entered his don't-come-this-close-to-me-or-I-will-kill-you-radius!
And then a hand is upon his shoulders the only sign of acknowledgement the hands owner receives is a minute flinch his great grand nephew exhibits.
"Arjun, how are you, child?"
Translation- why HAVE you not dressed yet?
If roasting existed in this Era his pitamaah would surely do so now. But fortunately it does not!
"Well, pitamaah. I was just coming."
A soft hmm is his answer and with that pitamaah takes his leave as swift as he had been when entering.
Today is the day when Arjun officially is rreleased from his gurudev's guidance and he shall be introduced to the people of Hastinapur who shall judge their princes and their worth.
It was not being released from his gurudev's guidance but rather the consequences of that worried Arjun. Being a student and not one of the foremost in line to the throne Arjun had up until now been spared from the politics of the palace. Once being introduced as a prince........he would have to choose the side. No that he had much of a choice given his status as a son of king Pandu.
Arjun was someone who could be called naive by many, but he still is the Lord of Time and being naive does not mean he is blind to the on goings of the palace.
The feud between Jyesht Bhrata and Bhrata Duryodhan was the best kept secret of the palace and like all best kept secrets it was known by everyone in the kingdom.
The feud that started as childhood envy had turned into adult rivalry of the mortal kind, the flames had been fanned by Kakeshree Shakuni (kakatrash more like it! Who uses their own nephew in a revenge scheme?) and the favour most showered upon the sons of king Pandu.
The Maharaj's self-pity party (that never seemed to end. Like grow up already! Stop cribbing about it) ambitions and poisonous thoughts (courtesy of chef Shakuni served with freshly refreshed wounds of self worth issues and devoid of maturity best eaten at Kurushetra) resulted in what was simple childhood envy turned into a war of rights and Dharma (or will turn into). For heaven forbade humans ever use their brains.
So yes Arjun was looking very very forward to being formerly introduced as a prince (and that's sarcasm but.......you're worse than hopeless if you can't even get that!)
After all, who doesn't want to kill people they hold dear to teach humans a lesson they'll forget more quickly than Krishn's speed of finishing makhan.
Arjun was unlike his friend Krishn, he was not one made for war or bloodshed in general. That was Krishn's job. Arjun saw what had happened what is happening and what is going to happen and decided upon the best scenario and ensure that the perfect circumstances for that scenarios take place.
Krishn was the one who participated in the scenario to achieve the desired result.
Yes, Arjun had to hurt people for that but it wasn't a person for him, the other person was for the lack of a better word a pawn.
Now, here in a place whose circumstances he had indeed ensured would take place but only to a certain point. Now, on this crossroad whatever was to happen would be something that could not be changed.
The only thing he could do was to be a spectator to all that would happen and act as Krishn guided him.
Time was not something to be meddled with. To achieve a particular present a lot of choices and circumstances come together which also have their own chain reactions thus starting various other scenarios.
So, when you tried to change one present you change a lot of other things thus introducing a million other variables to an already solved equation.
Introduction of other values changes the question thus a new equation is made and new values of the variables have to be found which in turn give a million other equations and infinitely more variables to be solved.
In short words a headache.
To involve morality in this already headache inducing job was hard. But Arjun held his morals dear to him. Many a times an arguments had arisen between his Madhav and him upon this.
One of those had stood out more clearly than others.
~100000 years ago~
"Madhav!?"
A sentence that was both a call and a question came from Arjun's lips as he neared his dearest friend's (ouch! That stung) chambers.
"Come in, sweet Parth."
Just listening to that tone Arjun knew Krishn supported a self assured smirk on his pink lips that stood out on his dark skin that glowed in the moonlight.
His suspicions were proved true (was there ever any doubt?) as he entered the chambers of the subject to his unrequited affections.
The chambers was decorated with gems humans could not even imagine. The room seemed to follow the color scheme of yellow and white among other lighter shades of both colors. A bed sat in the center of the chamber where the Master of the Universe resided.
He was lying in a horizontal position as most of his earthly paintings drawn by mortals showed him as. Languishing in a carefree mood, it seemed as if nothing could shock the young man who appeared of about twenty years of age lounging about in his bed.
His eyes, previously closed, opened, to see his dearest friend, revealing beautiful black orbs that seemed to pull you in. Raising his head his black orbs caught the gaze of his dearest friend's ever changing orbs. As of now, Parth's eye were in an uncanny shade of grey as if a storm was taking place with them.
'Very reflective of his mood.', Krishn mused.
"How could you do that?"
The question was not an accusation but a demand for an answer. Krishn eyes lost some of the softness they usually held when glancing upon his dear Parth, yet they remained soft nonetheless.
None of the aloof demeanor he usually portrayed.
"Hmm....does the all knowing Lord of Time not know this? My, my how far the mighty have fallen."
A flinch from his Parth made his heart quake but no this time he was firm.
His Parth's heart was too good for it to survive in the cruel world that mortals had turned it in to. Parth had to learn the lesson that things were not weighed on a scale of fair and unfair.
The best of teachers were your critics were they not?
But Krishn did not understand why he himself was so adamant for Parth to learn a lesson life would soon teach him anyway.
With a lot of scars yes. But were scars themselves not a sure sign of lessons learnt if not of battles won?
The statement was meant to hurt Arjun and it did. Krishn was hurt and when he would hurt the guilty party back.
The statement from Arjun's lips had hurt him, Krishn could not comprehend why it hurt in that magnitude, as the same accusation from his wife's lips had no impact on him rather than a small bout of amusement at her naiveté and annoyance but from Arjun it felt as if someone had stabbed him and left him bleeding.
"You would know all about falling would you not?"
Phalgun hadn't meant to be that harsh towards his friend but at times words left his mouth before he could review them and the impact they would have.
And for now, it wasn't his Madhav in front of him rather the Lord of the Universe.
The reason the famous soul mates (ask Kamdev) were arguing was Krishn allowing the death of a small child at the door steps of his temple. It was not the first time something like that had occurred.
Though the child was younger than most and at the footsteps of Krishn's temple where Krishn could intervene.
Even Krishn not doing anything could also have been forgiven and forgotten but what shocked most was that one good man did consider taking the child with him but Krishn used his powers to make the man ponder from not compassion rather his pocket.
The man could have chosen to take the child still but self love is the paramount form of love.
But for Krishn to interfere at all was what shocked Arjun.
"Careful, dear Parth. You let your heart blind you again."
Mocking words did not match the betrayed expression Krishn's face carried.
"My heart may blind me, Krishn. But it's better to have a heart and get hurt than just turning your heart to stone."
(Now, the eyes had turned a dark shade of blue as if resembling the turbulent sea during a storm)
"So you would have me let the man take the child home only for the man to catch the ailment the child suffered from? And are you not aware of the character of the man's brother? A child abusing monster who performs acts of intimacy with children too young for it to be consensual and safe!?"
"Do not twist my words! You know you could have done something else!"
(His eyes were a shade of bluish grey now as if they couldn't decide which colour to be.)
By all that's sweet, they were shouting at each other now, Phalgun thought.
"In the world that humans have made it into today, death is better than suffering, humans do not commit acts of evil but neither do they stop others from doing so! For most, living in the secret and listening to the relentless screams of the weak and vulnerable is better than living without the material and the worthless dignity society gives them."
"You have no right to change how ones life goes Krishn! Yes, the child would suffer but were there no alternatives? We can't remove their sufferings but we can lesson it, can we not?"
(His eyes had turned a shade of red now, red of anger, red of love, red of hatred or red of danger, Krishn wasn't sure.)
"Do not make me be the one to remind you of your own inhibitions Phalgun! Are you not the one preaching that we must not interfere in the lives of humans?"
"And are you not the one rushing to their rescue at every single thing? Where did this pearl of wisdom vanish to then? How many times have I said the very same only for it to fall upon deaf ears?"
(Now, they were a shade of green, the green that meadows held. The same meadows both of them used to visit when they had been young naive children believing in the innocence of the world.)
Phalgun's heart started beating erratically as he remembered the punishments the council of Heavenly Entities had inflicted upon his Madhav for his excessive affections for the mortals.
Sure what Krishn had done now was not a punishable offense but that did not make Phalgun worry any less.
For the Lord of Time no such council was in place as he was the only one who could see what was needed to justify his actions but that did not mean Phalgun did not have any self imposed punishments for his sins.
Unlike Krishn his punishments were not for actions taken rather for lives he could not save and more often than not acts he had not committed.
"Do not push my patience to it's limits with your childish notions of morality."
"Childish morality..........what of your own hypocrisy? Will we now only help humans who are your favoured?"
(His eyes now turned a murky brown.)
"Humans do not exist in black-and-white only, their are several shades of grey."
"First of all that's racist"(Krishn's what in heaven does that mean went ignored) "second of all yes humans and their moralities are nothing but hypocrisy given a camouflage. But you are not human, you are not chained by my inhibitions of inactions then why don't you do something."
(Now, they were a brilliant yellow as if to display the light heartedness of his first point.)
"You are a mere spectator, Parth. When the arrow is in your bow and blood on your hands then it starts becoming real."
And there they are on the same place where all of their arguments stemmed fom.
Arjun frustrated by Krishn's indirect yet never direct actions no one save for Krishn himself understood, while Krishn not understanding how it felt to be forced on the side-lines where you have all the power yet could not do anything but watch.
Krishn tired Phalgun's idealistic morals when all he was was a spectator never understanding how it felt when you were the one who had to make the decision the one on whom all the blame would lie.
The one who controls everything, it was easy to stand by and criticize But to be the one in power came with stakes stacked deadly high and things way too precious to even consider loosing were on the line.
It was not that his Parth did not try to understand but simply trying to put yourself in those chappals and being in those chappals was very different.
~back into the present ~
While, they had never seen eye to eye about that issue they didn't need to see each others eyes when all they valued was the heart of the other.
And that was when Arjun realized that in all his musings of the past he had indeed on auto drive dressed himself and was standing in his chariot which would take him to where the ceremony was to be held.
As the helper asked him to steady himself as he started the chariot Arjun felt that maybe this Mahabharat could be what was needed to make him and his Madhav see eye to eye.
Chapter 8: Letting Them Go
Chapter Text
"Declaring the third Prince as the greatest archer of all time? Is that not a mockery to all others practitioners of this art?"
"Child! You dare challenge a Prince of Hastinapur?"
"Is the Prince so privileged that he can not be bothered to respond to a challenge issued to his own self?"
"Child! You do not have the status required for a battle to be fought between you and the Prince!"
"Then give me some moments if not a full battle!"
Debates were heard as the Prince Duryodhan declared this newcomer as the King of Ang in order to give him a status required for a fight between the newcomer and the third Prince.
And that was how utter and total chaos descended in the ceremony for the formal introduction of the Princes of Hastinapur.
(One that was only spurred on when Queen Kunti fainted.)
But Arjun heard neither the chaos nor the madness of the crowd. His ears kept ringing of clanking of metals, metals of swords yet to be drawn.
His nose filled with the blood of those yet to be born and those who were already born.
His heart was banging against his chest so loud he was shocked he could even hear the ringing in his ears. Mahabharat was to begin.
It's major players all in one spot. The ones whose rights were violated the sons of Pandu. The sons of Gods themselves, the Pandavs
(What a fancy name for children forced to fill shoes too big to be filed by them and later adults made to bear responsibility of what could never had been anything else. Alas, not even Gods can change what is to happen. How could they?)
The evil incarnate, the selfish Kauravs the ones who were lead by Duryodhan the evilest of them all.
(What other title would time bestow on children who were never made to understand what they wanted was not a blessing but a curse made of the sweetest poison. A child who only wanted the affections of his father not the envy his father displayed as he looked upon those who were supposed to be his cousins. After all was that child not doing exactly what they were told to? Was it really a violation if it was all you have been taught to do? Is it the wrong choice when you didn't even know that you had a choice at all?)
Pitamaah Bheeshm, who didn't choose the correct side even when he could have.
(But did he really have a choice? Having choices and the right to choose is rarely ever the same. Was he not just someone made to bear the fualts and circumstances that were so beyond his hands that he could only watch as all he cared all he loved was burning up in flames. Made to bear the blessing of a mother that turned into a curse. For who else would history ask other than the ones who could never answer?)
Guru Dron the one who forfiet his most beloved student blinded by his loyalty to an already drowning ship's captain. The one who taught all right but never learnt it himself.
(But is it really something he could do about? Did he not teach both set of brothers? Was he not just hurt by his friend? Was he not just trying to care for his students? Was it even his choice when his friend the one he was bound to follow had taken a choice that was not even a choice?)
The the King and Queen, Dritrashtra and Gandhari. The ones who were so lost in love for their own children that they did not see the pain other children were going through. One who got it all only to loose it all and one who cursed a whole dynasty, cursed a God.
( Were they really to be blamed for being so close to the fire when all they were trying to do was to douse it? Living in the shadow of his own brother was he really to be blamed if he began to feel he had no identity other that? The weight of a crown made not of gold and silver but of broken relationships, stolen rights, oaths taken, blood and tears. The burden of a family that was broken too much time be fixed. Was it really their fault?)
And Queen Kunti, the first wife of King Pandu. The blood mother of the first three Pandu Putra and the one who was made into a mother for the youngest two. The one who couldn't stop the death of her own eldest son. The one who watched him be killed by her own sons. Never stopping them shedding tears all along.
Here they were all gathered the ones from whom history would question after all didn't history always question those who could never answer?
The pseudo battle fought between his.............brother (did he even deserve? Given who would drive the end blow in his own brothers heart?) was not something Arjun recalled. Why recall it anyway when the last battle to be fought between them was ingrained into him. So he did not remember.
Or what happened after.
He remembered being in his chambers quietly when something a ringing sound registered in his ears.
Someone was shouting no....they were screaming, Arjun wish he knew who was whosoever was as they sounded as if they were in need of a hug.
Then, his own open mouth registrated as Arjun realized it was him himself who was screaming.
He had not noticed.
He screamed and lashed but shed not a tear, who would he even cry too? Heavens? Which God would answer his prayer when the only one who would even listen to them was not in heaven.
He could remember all that would happen was happening and would happen. Yet, he could never do anything sometimes he wondered what atrocity had he committed to be cursed so. But then, was his very existence not a curse? He could only wait and watch.
He for the first time in his eternal life missed his childhood. It was so easy then Krishn's easy embrace and his own optimistism towards everything and everyone.
He fell onto his sheets hoping for this one reprieve. Just this one. And lo behold his wish was granted not in the way he had hoped though.
Thus, he fell asleep as Arjun and dreamed as Phalgun.
~~before the formation of earth, the first beings in this universe, the Celestials ~~
"Who are you?"
That was all that was ringing in Phalgun's ears. His eyes were closed and his frail young nine year old self was leaning against the door of his chambers.
Listening to the noise on the other side of the door, Phalgun decided that he did not want to face concerned servants no matter how much they were worried.
Swiftly and discreetly he made his way towards the window and carefully climbed down with the assistance of the pipe like structures that adorned the outer walls of his mansion.
Finally reaching the ground, Phalgun ran towads the further ends of the greenery that enclosed the mansion he inhabited.
So farther he ran that the view of the mansion disappeared, but worry of how to find his way back was the last thing on his mind. He knew these forests better than he knew his own self.
Upon finding himself in an isolated spot the young lord of Time gave up. Let himself fall on his knees and broke down in sobs.
For what he cried for no one could say, his lost childhood, his poor mother or the loss of his own innocence.
He cried for some time, then slowly his tears lessened and he gradually stopped wailing looking at the sky with a sense of melancholy.
"Do you need a listener? My tutor says people only cry when their own voice is incapable of being heard or is ignored."
A voice came about, filled with not sympathy nor pity but a curiosity and desire to make it better.
'Why was he crying was a very good question.', mused Phalgun as he quickly raised his head and wiped his tears to clearly look at his uninvited visitor.
A young boy of around eleven years of age adorned in garments befitting a royal stood leaning against a tree looking for the world as if a young master of a noble family had come out for a walk. "And maybe he was," Phalgun mused, "it's not like ordinary celestials could even hope to comprehend the thoughts of the Crown Prince."
Clearing his throats he voiced out his question, knowing it was unnecessary but not sure how else to start a conversation.
"No.....umm who are you?"
A smirk and a self assured voice gave the answer with eyes gleaming as if they had come across a puzzle.
"Madhav, your playmate, don't you recall?"
".............Good to see you again."
"Is that to the ground or me?"
".........."
"Come now, tell me why were you crying? You look like you need someone to vent too."
".....alright. But don't tell anyone. And how long have you been there?"
" To your first question who would even listen to me? I'm the only son of the King, sure but not from his favorite wife. As to the second one past fifteen minutes you need to be villigant."
Deciding to focus the on first statement's cheerful tone with which the Prince had delivered it, Phalgun to focus on the humor rather than the concern the first statement called for.
"Do you go around telling your family dynamics to total strangers?"
The smirk remained in place while the black lotus like eyes of the Prince shimmered with gratitude as he noticed that Phalgun did not ask any questions others usually did when coming to know of his family dynamics.
"If that total stranger needs a little push in telling me something that made him come to a wood all on his own to cry? Sure!"
The 'sure' was delivered with a very cheerful tone intended to be annoying.
'.......and it most certainly is.' Phalgun thought but his lips curved up in a small smile.
"Let's do this properly. Our first impressions were clearly not the best."
While, the Prince really wanted to ask if running away without even meeting one's eyes was an impression that Phalgun usually gave others he suppressed his curiosity.
(Though it was a near thing.)
"Meaning you won't run from me the moment you see me?"
".......no, I won't. ", Phalgun replied shocked that the Prince still remembered the instance tha was their first and before today their only meeting. If it could even be called thus.
Phalgun had been too anxious thus.........he ran.
'What! The embarrassment of running away was better than facing the awkwardness that would have been that 'playdate'!'
Phalgun defended himself from his own subconscious that berated him for doing that to to Prince.
"So tell me!"
While, Phalgun really wanted to laugh at the Prince's curiosity his gloomy mood returned with the remainder of what exactly had brought him here.
"..... what do you do when the one you love the most forgets you?"
The question was in a slow whisper as if any louder would destroy the steady hormonious atmosphere around the two children.
"Move on."
The answer was delivered in a cold and ruthless tone, betraying the nonchalant yet playful demeanor the Prince had adopted up until then.
But, Phalgun instead of being deterred or disappointed was filled with relief coming to the conclusion that the Prince was a practical individual and would not try to placate him with futile platitudes.
"Agreed, that's what I am doing."
"How so?"
The question was filled with wonder and awe while some guard in the Prince's expression went down.
"To move on you have to let them go. Loving is hard and you never stop loving but you can try to stop clinging to it. At times it's best to let them go."
"Who are you letting go off?"
Oops, now Madhav was sure his surprisingly interesting conversation partner would be mad and he had just thought of them being friends too. Heh, maybe someone like him was not meant to have friends.
Unlike to the Prince's expectations Phalgun neither got mad nor was hurt by the question. Instead he answered them taking them as the questions of childish curiosity as it was meant as rather than insensitive prodding that others took it as.
"My mother, she's the subordinate of your father. The Time Lady. She experienced trauma so great her mind shattered. She at times can recall everything crystal clear, yet at times can't even recall herself."
"I'm sorry."
The statement was filled with no pity no sympathy but understanding, and while Phalgun longed to learn what caused the Prince to gain such an understanding of such a sensitive matter he knew better than to question the rumors of how the Prince's very being came to be had not missed his ears.
And if his mother was a wound by a sword, then the Prince's tale was akin to leave a warrior stabbed a thousand times bleeding.
Thus, Phalgun replied, "It's alright. Sorry for my first impression. So do you want to be friends?"
And the beaming smile he got in response told him he had indeed taken the correct decision.
Chapter 9: Indifference
Notes:
For people who've already read the fic just go over it once more since I've made some corrections and added some things. Thanks for reading this!
☺️🥺🥺☺️
Chapter Text
"I want King Drupad's head as gurudakshina."
The words which rang in the air, silencing the Pandavas and Kaurvas alike.
..............except one particular Pandav.
"As you say, Guru dev."
Came the voice of Pandav Prince Arjun as soon as his Guru Dev's demand was made known.
Shock (Nakul), indifference (Sahdev), eagerness (Bheem) and amusement (Yudhishthir) along with the cold calculation (Duryodhan) was the response received.
But those were not the people Arjun was seeking the response of the only one whose response mattered to him was the his Guru Dev's.
Whose eyes displayed pride.
A few minutes hence, the other Princes also burst into proclamations of giving the head of King Drupad to their Guru Dev.
Which were silenced when it was made known that their Guru Dev wanted not a dead but a very much alive King Drupad.
With promises and greetings the Princes made to leave leaving the issue of the guru dakshina for the next day seeing as the sun had already set.
"Aru?"
Yudhishthir's childhood nickname for his brother slipped out in the concern his face displayed.
He kept his hand on the shoulder of his silent younger brother.
Make no mistake his brother has always been a silent child but not an apathetic child.
And ever since the ceremony of the Prince's reintroduction to the people of Hastinapur the only emotion visible in those ever changing eyes was indifference.
"Bhratashri."
A cool polite reply so unlike his brothers usual warmth.
It just served to make the pit in his stomach even deeper.
"How have you been, Aru? Won't you talk to this brother of yours?"
As the two brothers walked side to side Arjun refused to meet the Dharma Raj's eyes.
Keeping his eyes firmly on the ground.
The concern in his brother's eyes was not something Arjun wanted to see. He ordered to be indifferent and be cursed at rather than such heartfelt concern directed his way.
"I'm alright Bhratashtri. Don't worry yourself. I hope you also are faring well."
"Come now, Aru. Is there such any reason for such a degree of formality between us? We are family are we not?"
"Family is not a guarantee of closeness, Bhratashri. And such formality is befitting of the Princes of Hastinapur. Now, forgive me I must retire to bed."
With those words Arjun walked passed his brother.
Leaving Yudhishthir alone with his hand still where his brothers shoulder had been.
"It didn't work?"
Came Bheem's voice along with the concern in the twins eyes as they came out of their hiding place.
"No, it didn't ."
"Shall we ask Pitamaah to intervene, Bhrata?"
Suggested Sahdev as he tried to call down his frantic twin.
"Yeah! We should ask Pitamaah to talk to Aru-d, Yu-da! He's the only person Aru-da wouldn't ever deflect."
A frantic Nakul said (shouted more so).
"Agreed. But for now we must retire as well. Nakul remember to wash your mouth. Sahdev don't think I don't know you sneak into the library at night. Same for you Bheem don't go into the kitchen again. Or you both can forget your precious books and food for a month at the very least."
A strangled 'How do you know!' from both Sahdev and Bheem, that made Nakul burst into a fit of giggles, went ignored by Yudhishthir though his amused eyes would tell you otherwise.
~~Arjun's chambers~~~
Arjun let his painting speak the words his mind could not, as he painted the new scene of Mahbharata that he had witnessed in his dreams.
Indifferent eyes had long since disappeared as eyes holding an almost maniac expression focused on the painting.
In the painting a warrior could be seen lying on a bed of arrows that pierced him.
The warrior wore silver garments yet all that silver was hidden by the blood that came from the wounds the arrows had left on the warrior.
Though the face of the warrior was not yet visible his face was not what Arjun needed to recognise him.
But unlike the tears that usually accompanied such discovery now the only thing there was an almost eerie sense of calm that bordered on apathetic.
Once the painting was complete Arjun looked at it seeming to observe all of the incredibility of this painting.
But there was no incredibility to be seen. For all this painting inspired was horror and shock.
The painting reflected Pitamaah Bheeshm himself lying on the bed of arrows and the third Pandav Prince the son of Indra being the one to shoot these arrows.
In the chariot which the Third Son of Pandu was afoot a charioteer was also visible.
Golden robes, dark skin, black eyes and raven locks that decorated his otherworldly face. The Lord of the Universe.
The eighth reincarnation of Lord Vishnu ( his Madhav) Devkinandan Krishn.
He held an otherwise indifferent expression on his face. Yet, concern was clearly seen in his eyes. Not towards the warrior being slain, no.
His wasn't looking at the warrior at all his eyes razor focused on the path ahead yet slightly inclined in the direction the third Pandu Putra stood. The chariot was designed in such a way that the third Pandu Putra appeared to be standing right beside his charioteer when he stood.
The painting depicted a gruesome scene.
It wasn't something painted by colour drawn instead by what in the future would be called an ancient substitute for pencil. Yet the emotions were very clear.
It was something yet to happen.
Yet, it was a reality Arjun was already living in.
Flipping to some other pages in what almost resembled a notebook similar scenes were seen yet skipped by Arjun as if dead soldiers weeping mother and slaughtering of men was something he witnessed every day.
But alas it was true was it not? Just he didn't witness these scenes everyday rather every dream.
Finally, the Prince stopped on one particular scene.
It was perhaps the only one that didn't depict war in all of the sketches the Prince had drawn.
It depicted his brothers and him and his Madhav along with his family outside in perhaps the forest or the royal gardens Arjun wasn't sure.
Nakul and Sahdev were pranking their younger Kaurav siblings, while Bhratashri Yudhishthir lay under the shade of a tree reading, Bhratashri Bheem and Bhratashri Duryodhana were fighting again.
And Jyeshth Bhrata Karna was trying to stop them.
The elders lay in one corner all smiling as they looked upon their children.
Arjun and Krishn lay under the shade of a vast tree.
Shoulder to shoulder they leaned against one other, rather Arjun leaned against Krishn intently focused on his drawing as Krishn also looked toward what Arjun was sketching as he himself played his flute.
It was a calm sweet scene.
It was a lie.
Rubbing his finger on where himself and his Madhav were in the painting Arjun shut his notebook.
Hiding it at its usual place lest the wandering hands of his siblings find it Arjun changed his attire to one more suitable for sleep.
Slipping under the covere Arjun prayed that he wouldn't have another one of those dreams (oh! If only they were just dreams!) just to be denied.
[NEXT DAY]
It was decided that the Kauravas would try first and the Pandavas second. Though try as Jyesht Bhrata Karna might Guru Dron refused to give him a chance to fight with the Karavs.
And fight the Karavs did.........
Looking at the downtrodden looks upon his Karav siblings and an extremely incensed look upon Bhratashri Duryodhan's face Arjun felt immensely amused.
None of which was displayed in his expression, unlike Bhratashri Bheem and Anuj Nakul.
It wasn't that he didn't like his siblings but watching them act like that gave him the same feeling seeing Bhratashri Bheem get scolded by Bhratashri Yudhishthir did.
But Arjun reigned his inner amusement and focused his brains on how were they going to capture King Drupad for their Guru Dev.
With the dismissal their Guru Dev issued the Kauravs went to lick their wounds and the Pandavs went to ensure that they wouldn't earn any wounds worth licking in their try at getting King Drupad for their Guru Dev.
Arjun didn't feel as if the method of exposing themselves by announcing their arrival as their Bhrata Duryodhan had done would reap any results.
And so he told Bhrata Yudhishthir as they themselves discussed their plans on how to defeat King Drupad.
"But that's cowardice!"
Exclaimed Bhratashri Bheem.
"You wouldn't call it so if we win!"
Arjun cheekily replied.
"You-!"
"Bhrata Aru is right. It's not necessarily cowardice it's strategy."
A calm Sahdev gave his own two cents.
"Plus, all you want to do is make the Kauravs green with envy, Bheem-da!"
A playful Nakul said from behind his Yu-da.
"You three!"
And with that exclamation Bheem began to crack his knuckles only to be stopped by the stern look Yudhishthir directed his way.
"Bheem you should be more patient with your younger brothers. You three don't anger him on purpose."
Replies in the form of "Yes Bhrata." (Sahdev) "Hai! Yu-da." (Nakul) "As you say Bhratashri." (Arjun) and "You never scold them, Bhrata!" (Bheem) were heard.
Plans were made (actual Planning this time), siblings were scolded and thus finally a plan was made.
With determination in their hearts the Pandav brothers resolved to make this work (and not kill his younger siblings in his anger in Bheem's case).
[NEXT DAY]
The Pandav Brothers went into battle with King Drupad. They had awaited the time when King Drupad and his soldiers came into an area where there were no civilians and thus no way for backup to arrive quick.
Bheem, Nakul and Sahdev took care of the foot soldiers while Yudhishthir made way for Arjun to capture King Drupad.
Arjun fired an arrow after arrow towards the King.
The King was also a noteworthy warrior in his own right. Yet, who he was fighting was not an ordinary warrior rather the third Pandu Putra, Arjun.
With unparalleled skill Arjun defeated King Dron and brought him to his knees, with a bow towards the King Arjun tied his hands and brought him to his Guru Dev with a grace that was mandatory for a King.
The grace the Third Pandu Putra showed to the fallen King made an expression of admiration appear in the eyes of the fallen king where cold fury was before.
Reaching towards his brothers Arjun bowed towards even them and handed the King to his brother Yudhishthir as they began their journey back to Hastinapur.
Chapter 10: Worth Everything
Summary:
Night fell upon the Castle of Hastinapur, as all the other residents slept, a servant entered the Kings quarters bowing he waited for his orders.
“This servant awaits, His Majesty’s command.”
The King remained seated, his exhaustion showing, his hair disheveled and worry in his eyes.
He gave his orders in the same authoritative, yet, strained tone.
“Announce that the selection for the future Crown Prince shall begin.”
Notes:
Hi! Sorry for disappearing but......exams and sickness and family functions then sick again is not a writer friendly combination!
Tell me if you like it and if you don't then tell me too!
Comments and kudos as well!
Chapter Text
Knocking upon Guru Dev's door the last thing Arjun expected was for Guru Dev to smile and it was not his usual smiles filled with pride due to his students’ achievements.
No this one was filled with a lot more emotion, all held together in one simple expression, one that Arjun couldn’t even begin to decipher.
His smile told a tale of treachery, betrayal, loss, humiliation and finally satisfaction. Satisfaction earned from making ones enemy bleed.
Hitting them where one knew it didn’t only hurt but ached not unlike a wound left open.
Bowing to Guru Dev along with his brothers Arjun was not sure how to proceed from here.
Were they expected to stand in silence as their Guru Dev humiliated the Panchal Naresh for the slight, the humiliation the King had caused him? If so, then Arjun couldn’t just simply stand, no he couldn’t.
Alas, Guru Dev saved him from this dilemma by dismissing all of them.
Silently all of them walked shoulder to shoulder, yet blades ready to strike. In this family made by blood of others there was no trust.
The Crown on their head was one made of bones, held together by ashes.
And it hurt so much to see what they were now and what they had been what they could have been.
Nakul held onto Sahdev’s hand discreetly, needing the comfort the gesture provided, yet not willing to show this weakness in front of their cousins.
‘What happened to us?’
The question rang in Nakul’s mind time to time. Yet, it’s echo muffled, it’s sound ignored each and every time.
It hurt.
It hurt so much to see those with whom you had spent your most precious years on earth with standing like enemies in front you.
And that was not all. Something had changed when and how Nakul did not know but something had.
Even between the Pandavas. Perhaps it was the way Yu-da looked at the crown with pure dread.
Or how the childhood rivalry between Bheem-da and Bhrata Duryodhan had turned into hostility, or maybe in the intense grief in Pitamaah’s eyes.
His grief was so so profound, he mourned as if he was not mourning something already lost but something that was going to shatter.
Or maybe it was the inherent disconnect that was felt between Aru-da and all of them.
How Aru-da spent his days with the Kauravs smiling. Yet, too afraid to even look them in the eyes.
Nakul didn’t know why and he didn’t know how to heal this how to fix this.
Nakul had always taken pride in healing others but how oh just how do you heal what was not even broken in the first place?
A tug at his sleeves made their arrival at the Castle clear, courtesy of Dev.
Nakul let go, now walking towards Aru-da as he tapped his shoulder.
A questioning look was his answer.
In between these silent walls where once cheerful cries filled with joy echoed now silence reigned supreme.
The past haunted them with its irony, the future terrified them with it’s uncertainty and the present trapped them with it’s certainty.
“Nakul? Anuj, what is wrong?”
With a concerned expression, and worried tone Arjun questioned his second youngest brother.
“Have we done something wrong?”
A nonchalant tone was what the question was spoken with.
Yet, the expression of sheer guilt, pain and misery contrasted with the calm image Nakul tried to portray.
This single sentence while quiet as a silent breeze in it’s volume, it was as loud as an unleashed tornado in it’s impact.
And a tornado is not felt, it forces you to live with it.
Ears sharpening the rest of the Pandavas and Kauravs listened closely as the storm grew stronger and stronger.
“What?”
“No, of course not, why would you think that?”
Arjun replied almost frantic.
“What else am I supposed to think? You choose those Kauravs over us, teaching them, spending time with them! Not us! Why? Why won’t you love us, dada?”
The first part was almost aggressive in its grief, the second however was heartbreaking in it’s sheer sadness.
Oh.
OH.
Arjun had not meant to come of as negligent towards his younger siblings, he just wanted to spend time with his little cousins before he had to burry them.
Arjun had been the one to ensure those little ones didn’t fall off from some tree during their playfulness, watching those very same children slowly breathe their last, slowly watch the light fade away from their eyes at the end of his arrows……
He did not deserve the adoration and admiration they showered him with, but he wanted it all the same.
In all this, he had thought that his own younger siblings would not mind since even if he spent these years catering to their cousins, why should they mind when he would spend the rest of his life taking care of them?
Yet he forgot, childhood never came back.
These years were when his family, his siblings needed him most.
But what could Arjun do?
He didn’t want to choose.
“Dada! Just why?”
In all this Nakul had not stopped crying, his hands now grasped Arjun’s robe, like he had done when he had first learnt to walk.
Arjun had supported him all the way, being the shield his little brother needed him to be.
Nakul’s eyes were filled with tears, crying as he was. Desperate in his grief, anger in his loneliness.
Slowly, gently Arjun’s hand came up to his brother’s shoulders encompassing him in a hug.
Slowly stretching one arm out to invite Sahdev.
He jumped into the hug as if he needed it more than air.
“I’m sorry.”
“You are not allowed to ever do that again!”
Spoke Nakul with a determination never heard before while Sahdev nodded with a fervor to support Nakul’s claim.
“Are you not missing some people?”
Came the playful voice of Yuyutsu.
Standing behind him were some other cousins of theirs, sheepish in the unconcealed worry their eyes showed.
“Come in!”
Spoke Nakul with joy, his previous envy had not stemmed from the fact that it were the Kauravs who received his Aru-da’s affections.
No, it was the fact that only Kauravs received those affections.
With a laugh at Nakul’s joy, the Kauravs also joined in.
This was ridiculous, way too many children at one place hugging everyone. Yet, it was the most happy sight the Castle had borne witness to in the previous decade or so.
And the only happy sight it would bore witness to in years to come.
In one corner stood Yudhishthir and Duryodhan calmly observing never stepping in.
One calm and content, the other apprehensive and worried.
“How heartwarming, no? Anuj Duryodhan?”
“Yes Bhratashri.”
A monotone voice replied with a deadpan expression clearly showing his disapproval.
“There’s nothing wrong with that, stop looking so sour. We both are elder brothers. Is it not our duty to ensure that they remain happy? What is the need for this competition for a Crown neither you nor I want?”
“I don’t want the Crown, true. But my father? I will do what it takes to earn his approval. Unlike you, I was not blessed with a loving father, Bhratashri. But he’s my father, nonetheless. And I’ll do what it takes to earn his approval.”
With that declaration Duryodhan left the scene his robes bellowing behind him as Yudhishthir continued to look down at his younger siblings.
If he could keep them like this, happy smiling, laughing then Yudhishthir would also do what it takes. He just hoped it didn’t take his Dharma.
Who was he to criticize Duryodhan? Somethings were worth everything for.
Night fell upon the Castle of Hastinapur, as all the other residents slept, a servant entered the Kings quarters bowing he waited for his orders.
“This servant awaits, His Majesty’s command.”
The King remained seated, his exhaustion showing, his hair disheveled and worry in his eyes.
He gave his orders in the same authoritative, yet, strained tone.
“Announce that the selection for the future Crown Prince shall begin.”
Aside him, Bheeshm stood hands crossed a look of frustration while Shakuni continued to play with his dice as always.
Shock coursing through him, the servant replied.
“As His Majesty commands.”
And he left the quarter’s hoping that Hastinapur would be ready for this challenge.
The darkening sky an ill omen, the thundering clouds like a premonition.
Arjun’s mouth opened his mouth and began singing in a soft, gentle tone. He sang like a warrior used a well loved blade, without a thought as if those words were ones he had sang a million times.
“लल्ला मेरे, सोजा, स्वप्न कि दुनिया में चल तारों के संग।
परियां दिखा रही रास्ता, चल मेरे लल्ला
रक्षा करु मैं तेरी, मेरी आँखों के तारे।”
His younger siblings stopped turning in and about from whichever nightmarish vision of the future he had been caught in.
They did not need to he burdened by what Arjun had put into motion.
Out he walked from their quarters, steeling his heart hoping, praying but alas the only God who ever answered his prayers was not in Heaven.
Chapter 11: A Storm's Coming
Summary:
Mesmerizing all who heard the tune.
It sang a tune like a God to his believer, like a lover to his beloved.
Dark eyes opened an amused smirk playing on his lips.
The flute continued to play as the player lounged on a tall tree.
Chapter Text
An official, decked in black with a sword hung by his waist, stood in the golden court of Hastinapur.
All the ministers stood in impatient silence, the Princes in dreadful anticipation.
(Arjun’s hands clenched into fists.)
The official took a scroll handed to him upon a silver platter handed by another servant.
Opening the scroll, taking a deep breath, the official began.
“By the order of the King the selection of the Crown Prince hereby begins.”
Loud authoritative words, sounding like the knocking of future on the doors of the present.
All while the present was on fire.
“In the Time span of a week, His Majesty will announce his decision.”
The smoke burning your life, the flames burning what you thought was the truth.
“May Lady Lakshmi bless both the Princes.”
The truth that never was anything but a façade.
Since childhood in many ways was a façade, from the world from yourself.
But every façade breaks, like every mask.
The Court of Hastinapur was no exception to this.
The rolling of dice, the sharpening of swords, and narrowing of eyes.
In just a moment all the masks had been broken, all the facades shattered.
With that the official stood down from the elevated stair he stood on.
Conspiratorial glance were directed towards the two candidates.
The two main candidates themselves were like a sky before the storm.
How calm the sky was, contrast to how wild the winds were.
The sky reflected in the dark deep eyes of the eldest Panduputra Yudhishthir, the stormy winds dancing in the grey eyes of eldest Kaurav, Duryodhan.
In the heated moment the disappearance of the Third Panduputra had gone unnoticed by most.
(Except by dark eyes shimmering with concern and stormy eyes, the grey in them dancing with worry.)
Most of the other occupants of the room had begun to clear out as the court session had ended leaving the royal family the only ones standing in the glimmering, shinning court.
An awkward silence rang loud in the deathly silent court.
“Anuj Duryodhan, I wish you the best of luck. May the God’s be by you, younger brother.”
Draped in silver and the finest of jewels, the eldest Panduputra smiled at his brother.
Duryodhan let out a deep sigh.
Nodding at his elder brother competitor, he turned around and left his own dark robes sweeping behind him.
His younger brother following him at his heels.
An amused expression formed on Yudhishthir’s face, his lips quirked at the end.
Bheem growled from behind him, cracking his knuckles, speaking with anger, “What a brat! I’ll show him how to treat his elders!”
Sahdev raised an amused eyebrow, his hands crossed in amused indifference, “Bhrata Bheem didn’t you use to throw pillows at Jyesht Bhratashri when he put you to bed?”
Nakul chuckled from the side-lines tugging Sahdev at his sleeves, “Yeah! Aru-da agrees righ-? Aru-da? Where did he go?”
Bheem’s annoyed expression morphed into a concerned one.
Sahdev sighed, no surprise however was visible on his face.
How could he be surprised? When his sights were colored crimson.
( “The war has always been on going, it’s only now that it’s smoke is visible to you.” )
Yudhishthir hummed at Nakul’s question, “I do not know where, but he left soon after the announcement.”
“Shall we look for him?”
Bheem questioned, his anger long forgotten.
“No, he will find us when he wishes to.”
Nakul blinked in surprise at Sahdev, his little twin bro-bro, actually giving his opinion.
The usual status quo of their group was Yu-da being the mediator, Bheem-being the lovable hot headed idiot, Dev being the silent indifferent one.
While, Aru-da was to smirk, and sass.
( And the empty half dead look they’d gotten used to him from him past few days. )
And Nakul being the amazing chaotic and the most adorable Prince to ever grace the halls of this Castle.
And in appreciating himself he had missed what Yu-da said.
Hahaha…….
Not like it was new anyway hahaha.
Dev tugged his sleeves, “He said we should get back to our rooms.”
……..right that explains the absence of Bheem-da and Yu-da.
Tugging each other at the sleeves the two brothers made their way upstairs back to their chambers.
“Here."
“Bhrata Duryodhan!”
No, Arjun did not absolutely did NOT jump away from how suddenly Bhrata Duryodhan was handing him a lotus flower.
“I live here too, cousin. Or am I now not allowed to visit this temple? Why are you so surprised at finding me at the Lord Vishnu temple?”
I wasn’t aware you worshiped anyone but yourself, Bhrata.
Arjun sweat dropped.
Remaining bowed in front of his God his hands clasped as if in prayer, his eyes closed.
(Be well. Be happy, healthy, safe and loved, my dear Madhav.)
“Nothing of the sort, elder brother.”
Without opening his eyes Arjun took the offered flower, laying it at the flute playing Lord’s feet.
The bronze statue was one of the best out there, carved by the best sculptor, yet it couldn’t quite capture the lively, amused glint Arjun loved.
It couldn’t quite give justice to the air of mischief and laughter Arjun adored.
And it simply couldn’t compare to the God Arjun followed.
The Prince whom Arjun loved.
The human whom Arjun adored.
Duryodhan remained standing near the stairs of the temple, his boots were teased by the gently waters.
The temple was made built between the Royal Garden’s Lake. Surrounded by water the beautiful bronze temple stood. The water itself was home to many lotus however none of those were there.
There was a pathway that connected the steps of the temple to the green shores of the gardens.
Diyaas lit the path way, scattered as they were standing parallel to their counter part on the other side of the pathway.
How all these diyaas always stay lit, was a mystery to all.
Castle rumours spoke that so impressed was the Lord of the Universe by the Third Panduputra’s devotion that he himself ensured that the diyaas always stayed alit for his devotee.
In between this scenery all of Duryodhan’s attention was on this one pair of devotee and God.
Duryodhan hadn’t ever understood how Arjun ( his little Aru ) could so devote himself to a God he had never met.
And even if he had, this level of devotion was surely exceptional.
It was almost like the affections between a pair of lovers.
The affection one usually bestowed upon their beloved.
“You’re very devout, aren’t you?”
Jeez what made you think that? The lotus flowers I sowed myself? Or the self carved diyaas?
The very lotuses which were found crushed due to the storm last night.
Duryodhan questioned, cocking his head sideways, leaning against the tall pillar of the temple.
The pillars of the temples, their design had been proposed by Arjun himself.
Each pillar showcased a story of the Lord of the Universe.
The pillars proposed by Arjun, and so was the idea of planting flowers in the surrounding lake.
“Only if the God is worthy of it.”
While his hands joined in prayer, Arjun uttered no prayer.
Only wishing for his God’s wellness.
(Faraway, in the trees of Dwarka a soft melodious tune sang. Like a God to his believer. Like a lover to his beloved.)
“What actions of Lord Vishnu made you in awe of him?”
“His existence is reason enough.”
Duryodhan huffed both awed and annoyed at his brother’s devotion.
“Whatever, don’t be so upset about the Crown Prince thing. Its not your fault.”
No longer interested in the conversation, Duryodhan left.
“Don’t stay out too late, it’s getting colder you might fall sick.”
He spoke in an indifferent tone, walking calmly with hands clutching the edges of the warm white shawl his mother had draped over him.
His words carried no particular feeling as if it not mattered to him were Arjun to not listen to his advice.
Still, another lotus was left near the steps of the stairs of the temple.
Arjun remained still for a long time, bowed in front of his God.
Slowly he raised his head giving the statue one last glance and turned around to leave.
As he stopped by the steps he bent down to pick up the flower
(“Be careful, Aru! Bhrata Duryodhan will help you!)
Picking it up gently to lay it at the feet of the Lord too.
Gentle winds picked up their pace as they howled, Arjun raised his arm to shield his head against the light drizzle.
It seemed like a storm was coming.
The winds played along the curtains of the Castle.
Making them dance to a wild tune.
One such curtain was grabbed by Gandhar Kumar Shakuni, the Prince of Gandhar and the brother to the Queen Gandhari.
“Where is my dear nephew, Duryodhan?”
His words were of concern his expression however gave one he impression that he couldn’t care any lesser where his dear nephew, Duryodhan, was.
“There is no need for Prince Duryodhan to be bothered for this.”
An old voice withered by age, coloured by grief and weakened by time spoke.
“What no need?!? We should inform the Prince of this!”
Shakuni cried out as if he was speaking against gross injustice.
“It is the Prince’s own duty to ensure that the he is liked by the populace. Either through his valour or kindness. Were we to inform him, what statement would that give? That Prince Duryodhan cannot be bothered by the populace if their opinion doesn’t help him achieve his own endeavours?”
Vidhur tried to meditate, giving his own two cents to the King.
Shakuni clenched his dice harder, “But Your Highness! This is gross injustice! Just due to the fact that the Pandavas flaunt their grand gestures and my nephew doesn’t, should they be given the Crown?!”
Bheeshm’s frown deepened, “Kindness does not need to be flaunted, Gandhar Kumar! It spreads on its own!”
Shakuni gave him the same look adults gave children who were too naive, “Grandsire, as much as I respect that’s nothing but old beliefs which crumble faster than a house of cards in a storm.”
“At least they aren’t like you, whose motivations change faster than the weather. And if those beliefs crumbled so easily then you and I have separate concept of what qualifies as beliefs.”
Vidhur stood at the side with an expression of grief.
While they all squabbled Hastinarpur was burning.
Just this fire left no smoke, left no ash.
“Your Highness will you let your own brother in law be disrespected so?!”
The King stood open mouthed, not sure what to do. While his heart cried against this gross injustice against his dear son, just like what was done against him, he couldn’t do anything.
Bheeshm was seething with rage, the nerve of this bumbling buffoon, pitting his grandchildren against each other like this.
They were children, just seeing the world.
They were learning to love the world now so they wouldn’t hate it when reality came crashing down, drowning them in it’s certainty.
“If you need His Majesty to defend your honour then maybe disrespect is what you deserve, Gandhar Kumar.”
( A close room, his father’s last words, “Avenge us, my child.” Rang clear as day in Shakuni’s ears.)
“My the dog is trying to break its leash. And don’t lecture me about disrespect, Grandsire, being forced to see your existence is the worst insult I’ve ever had thrown at my face.”
“Oh so I’m the reason for the sorry state of your face.”
“Enough.”
The King spoke, finally.
“I will not have a brawl break out in my court. As for my son Duryodhan.........as Vidhur and Grandsire both aagreeon this matter. I’m obliged to side with them following thier guidance. No one shall tell Duryodhan about this matter.”
Shakuni remained open mouthed as ever as he made haste in his departure.
Bheeshm and Vidhur both bowed in front of the King, not wishing to stay any longer they too took their leave.
Shakuni as one would expect had gone in search for his nephew.
Finding him staring at a long gold ribbon in his hand sitting under a tree in the Royal Garden’s was not how Shakuni expected to find him.
“Duryodhan! What are you doing stop daydreaming! Your father is gambling your Crown away!”
Broken from his reverie, Duryodhan looked at his Uncle, puzzled, “How did you find me, Uncle?”
“That dog of yours, Karna told me where you were.”
Anger danced in stormy grey eyes, “Uncle, do not disrespect my beloved friend by calling him so. I’m bound by my honour and my affections towards him to defend him.”
Shakuni’s expression turned even more annoyed, “Care for your honour later, nephew! Honour can be gambled with when you’re aiming for something as precious as the Crown of Hastinapur!”
“Whatever do you mean? And what’s that about my Father gambling my right away? Weren’t the selection timings decided?”
“Your Father has no intention of guaranteeing your rights, my boy. Maybe, he truly does not see as his son rather an extension of his own failings. Hence, he’s letting history repeat itself.”
The words struck Duryodhan to his core, from the day he was born it hurt so much to see how his own father never truly saw him.
It hurt most of all to see in the eyes of the person who was supposed to love you just for the fact that you existed and never see your own self reflected in those eyes.
All you ever saw was a reflection.
And being a reflections never have their identity, all they are is a mimic.
“No. I won’t allow that!”
“Now you’re on the right track, I have something in mind but be careful nephew the honour you value so much might have to be sacrificed for this one price.
Far far away in the trees of Dwarka, a flute rang sweet and true.
Mesmerizing all who heard the tune.
It sang a tune like a God to his believer, like a lover to his beloved.
Dark eyes opened an amused smirk playing on his lips.
The flute continued to play as the player lounged on a tall tree.
A peacock feather tied to his head, gold shimmering garments decorating his frame.
“Prince Krishn! A letter for you has arrived from Hastinapur!”
Chapter 12: Knew Him
Summary:
It wasn't a choice, he couldn't tell them, after all, no one kept more secrets than God's, for who had more things to protect than the Almighty?
And Krishn had so much to protect.
Laughter, smiles, happiness, love and life.
Notes:
Hello all!
Sorry for disappearing of the grid for half a year!
(Illnesses are a bit too much....)
Hope you all like this one
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"What does the letter say?"
Balram was pacing on the soft lush carpet.
His panic and frustration evident in his hurried loud steps and clenched fists.
"Ah, Dau, are you expecting me to disclose my very personal correspondence with the Princess of Vidarbha?"
Krishn replied, soft lips curving into an amused smile, eyes sparkling with mischief.
"Ahh how hurtful, my own brother coming in between me and my Princess?"
Dramatically, Krishn put a hand on his chest as if he was gravelly wounded, eyes curving like Cresent moon.
(It wasn't time yet.)
Balram's frown widened. Krishn smile remained unchanged, eyes shimmering with laughter.
Subhadra merely looked at her brothers in contemplation. Her warm hazel eyes shining with affection and amusement.
Balram sat down dramatically.
(Krishn wasn't the only dramatic one in this family)
"Krishn," Balram started, after taking a deep breath, gathering all his patience, "first you get a letter from Hastinapur. You don't tell us we didn't ask, respecting your privacy. But now, this letter from Princess Rukhmani, herself, just what is going on?"
Balram's annoyance was visible in his posture, shoulders high strung, fingers massaging the bridge of his nose.
Hands held the arm rest tightly.
Krishn's legs were dangling from the arm rest, head supported by the other arm rest, as his hand rotated his flute.
Subhadra sat on the window seat, looking at her brothers and the outside subsequently.
"Ahh, Dau, some things are better not known so soon or knownat all."
Balram's features grew more frustrated. Understanding that this discussion would lead them nowhere he stood up, inclining his head towards his sister he took his leave.
His robes fluttering behind him.
"Alright then, I'll take my leave."
With that, he left in a furry.
Krishn stared in the direction Balram had gone with a confused expression.
Subhadra chuckled, "Bhrata. You are used to people accepting that they won't understand what you are playing at, but those people aren't your family. Jyesht Bhrata is frustrated since if you don't tell him, how will he protect you?"
Krishn cocked his head sideways, "Why does he need to protect me?"
His words, however, arrogant, were spoken with the innocence of a child.
Subhadra gave him a pitying look, "Bhrata Balram is our oldest, Bhrata, he sees himself as our protector. If you even take away that role from him, what will he do? And you keeping constant secrets makes it seem like you don't trust either of us."
Krishn sat up straighter, panic visible on his features, "But I do!"
Subhadra shook her head in amusement, "I know. You just need to make sure Brother Balram also knows."
She stood from her seat, "Don't talk to him now. Let him cool off first."
Krishn nodded, "Where are you going to be, Bhadra?"
She smiled at him, offering him her hand and hooking their arms together as soon as he stood up.
"You and I are going on a shopping spree. I need supplies for the pooja and the rangoli I plan on making."
Krishn smiled, "Why perform a pooja in front of a statue when you have me?"
Subhadra tugged him along, "You're my brother. That statue represents my God. And I don't believe you'd like it if I treated you like a God."
Krishn walked alongside her, "My sister knows me too well."
"Of course I do."
"Subhadra?"
Krishn called out, suddenly letting go of her hand, walking in front of his sister.
"Hmm?"
"Could you lend me a sari of yours?"
Subhadra startled but nodded in consent regardless, "Of course, but why?"
Krishn smirked.
(So the games begin.)
"Nothing, I just need to kidnap a Vidarbha Princess."
"Oh, alright."
Then Subhadra processed those words, and she stopped in the middle of her walk, "WAIT WHAT!?!"
Krishn's answering chuckle echoed throughout the hallways.
The kidnapping of the Princess of Vidarbha was necessary for the Mahabharat.
And well, how was Krishn supposed to meet Arjun knowing his dear friend was being forced to marry that wretch?
It would be better if he told Dau and Bhadra everything, but then what was the fun?
(It wasn't a choice, he couldn't tell them, after all, no one kept more secrets than God's, for who had more things to protect than the Almighty?
And Krishn had so much to protect.
Laughter, smiles, happiness, love and life.)
Krishn walked straight towards his chambers even with Bhadra looking at him like he had lost his mind.
Closing the doors behind after commanding the guards to not allow any in, Krishn picked out the letters that came from Hastinapur. Came from Parth.
Looking at the letters Krishn wasn't sure how he felt.
(Actually he did, the feeling of coming back home.
As if after a long tiresome journey the visage of home was finally in sight.
The penmanship reminded him of soft hands he had held so long ago.
The words on them while ominous, made him smile, Parth clearly hadn't outgrown his habit of writing like a five year old who had learnt how to write just now.
Krishn loved him.)
The letters weren't signed.
But since when had Krishn needed something as flimsy as a sign to recognize his Parth?
For Krishn would always know Arjun.
He knew Arjun like poems knew their verses.He knew Arjun like story tellers knew their stories.
He knew Arjun like clouds knew water.
He knew Arjun like how humans knew life.
For Arjun was the best part of Krishn.
His other half, his better half.
Krishn knew his humanity, his divinity.
Krishn knew Arjun,
And he knew the calamity of which Arjun spoke in his letters, of the dreams that haunted Arjun.
The future was nothing but a nightmare that was both inevitable and real, after all.
In all his musings Krishn hadn't realized he had been pacing.
Ahh, Dau must be rubbing off him.
*KNOCK KNOCK
"Kahna? Might I come in?"
For a split second, Krishn wanted to forbid the use of that name. (The name that spoke of a long gone time.
The name that reminded of a different mother, of a different lullaby, of a different life.
A different love, one that was innocent, one that was pure.
The sweet affection born of childhood.
Because what Krishn felt now? That wasn't innocent.
It was selfish.
If his first love was a wish made on a falling star, then his second love was a dream he dreamt of even while awake.
The first was a hallucination born of youthful desperation then the second was a future he had wanted long ago but never saw it happen.
The first was a destined one, while the second was a love that left fate itself in awe.
But Krishn hadn't ever thought it to be true, hadn't ever believed it, never let himself feel it.
Because sometimes you wanted something so much that you didn't believe you could ever have it.
Because good things were so rare in Krishn’s life.)
"Ma?"
Krishn asked, rushing towards the door.
His mother stood there, on the other side looking at him with concern and affection.
Her hand cupped his cheek, "Putra, what is the matter? You look worried, child. Tell your mother, won't you?"
Krishn looked back at her with gratitude.
He wanted to, God's he wanted to tell her.
If only for her to hold him and tell him that it would be okay.
But God's didn't get to be children.
The need was for the eighth Avatar of Vishnu, not the second son of Vasudev and the only child of Devaki.
(And the dearest Kahna of Yashoda and Nanda was already dead. He was burried in Gokul, in the tears of Yashoda and the goodbyes of Nanda. He was burried in the hearts of the gopis. He was burried in the memories of Gokul-vasees. He was burried in the ground where his first steps were.
He was buried where his first words were spoken.
He was buried where his first love had left him.)
"It's alright, Ma."
Krishn replied, swallowing back his cries.
She smiled at him in sadness.
Her hands became impossibly gentler, her smile softer.
"My dearest child, you may be a miracle but dearest you're still my son. A mother always knows her child's heart."
And Krishn crumbled.
He held onto his mother tightly.
His hands holding her palu.
(He used to put it over his head when he wanted to take naps. Krishn isn't sure when he started associating a palu with protection, but he isn't sure he can stop.)
And his head buried in her neck.
"Ma....I don't I don't know I......."
She held him tightly, pulling him along in the room.
She sat down, pulling Krishn down with her, he put his head on his lap as she started to massage his scalp.
"It's alright, my child. To be infallible is an impossibility. It's alright to be human."
(It wasn't a possibility for him though, Krishn had far too much to protect far too much at stake here. He couldn't fail.
He couldn't give up. But he allowed himself this. Sobbing in his mothers arms. The one place Krishn felt the safest.)
"What do you mean, Kakashri?"
Shakuni gave Duryodhan a look that told Duryodhan exactly what Shakuni toghht of his intelligence.
"My dear nephew, I must ask how many times were you dropped as a child?"
Karna gave him a scathing look as he replied, "Well then, I must ask this, Gandhar-Raj, were you held at all in your childhood?"
Shakuni glared at him, gaze as sharp as pinpricks, "You filthy mut!"
Karna smirked, "At least this filthy mut doesn't depend on his sister's hospitality to have a roof over his head, no?"
On the sidelines, Dushasan nodded, seemingly agreeing with Karna.
Duryodhan intervened before this could go on any longer, "Enough. I do not need any one to speak for me. Kakashree, are you sure attempted murder on the Princes is a good idea? All the courtiers love the Pandavas, so do the people."
Shakuni scowled, "Then pray tell what do we do, nephew dearest? Beg your Jyesht bhrata to give up the Crown? Do you want your father to acknowledge you or not?"
Duryodhan did want his father to acknowledge him, but his cousins......
("Bhrata Duryodhan!"
"Aru!" "Nakul!" "Sahdev!"
"Anuj Duryodhan, be careful you might get hurt."
"Haha Duryodhan, let's see who gets the mango first! We can share it afterwords!")
Shakuni spoke up again, "Nephew if it hurts you so much then we can always just make the Pandavs afraid that someone is plotting against them in the court. They'll be gone long enough and after you've been crowned Yudhishthir is far too noble to ask you to step down."
Karna nodded, "Yes, Mitra. It's your decision."
Duryodhan took a deep breath, "I well ......"
Notes:
Well that just happened
Comments and kudos please!
Chapter 13: Being In Love
Summary:
“Was that Aru?”
Yudhistir hummed, eyes on his book, “Mhm?”
Bheem pulled his dupatta to make him stand.
Yudhistir scolded his brother without raising his eyes from the novel, “Anuj, how many times have I told yo-”
“ARUUUU-DA!!!”
Chapter Text
"What? Where are you going?"
"On a stroll."
"A week-long journey is not a stroll!"
"To each their own!"
"Hey! Aru, come back! Don't no I swear don't jump!! Aru, come back you imbecile child!!"
“Was that Aru?”
Yudhistir hummed, eyes on his book, “Mhm?”
Bheem pulled his dupatta to make him stand.
Yudhistir scolded his brother without raising his eyes from the novel, “Anuj, how many times have I told yo-”
“ARUUUU-DA!!!”
Yudhistir continued without missing a beat, “-u to not pull me? Are you a child? And Nakul, stop shouting.”
From below, Yudhistir could hear the scuffs, huffs, shouts and scoldings all the inconvenienced ones were throwing Arjun's way.
Bheem groaned, “Why do you always focus on the wrong things?”
Rukhmini's unparalleled beauty was one of which poets wrote upon, various hymns and pages and inks had been spared yet no one could quite capture what exactly made her a beauty so unmatched.
It was a silly thing, because what truly made her beautiful was the one thing Arjun had always adored about her.
It was her smile. Regardless of circumstance, be it burning castles, easy past times, forceful marriages, Rukhmini smiled at it and dealt with grace Arjun could never even hope to imitate, much less understand.
Alas, the smile his younger sister held made his heart warm.
Seeing her after such a long departure was a pleasant surprise.
She laughed in shock, "Bhrata! What are you doing here?"
Arjun smiled softly at her as she hooked her arms with his, "Mhmm? Nothing, out for a stroll I suppose."
She chuckled, "Out for a stroll? Bhrata, someone must've told you the wrong definition of it. This is just shy of the boundaries of Vidarbha. Did Hastinapur capture all of Bharatvansh while I was busy getting married?"
Her eyes crinkled like crescent moons, "Oh Heavens, why do I always miss the important bits?"
Arjun returned her wide smile, albeit on a much smaller scale.
The people around them smiled at the two siblings, some scowled at the loud and noisy bunch of siblings.
Others simply passed by without paying attention.
The winds were blowing softly, both of their long raven hair flying with it.
"Where is Madhav, how come he is not around?"
Rukhmini mockingly whined, "Ugh noooo!! This again. Honestly you two should just marry each other. Really. As soon as the other one comes along neither of you pay attention to anyone else."
Arjun hurried to contradict her, "Sister, you know he loves you the most, no?"
Rukhmini dropped her teasing smile, now directing a much softer smile at him.
She held his hands in hers.
"About that....me and him....we are jot together anymore."
Arjun hated that his first response was the fastening of the beating of his heart.
He hated that the first thought was that he could finally have a chance.
But then his mind screamed back at him, if millennials by Krishn's side had not changed his affection for Arjun, him simply not being in love with Rukhmini would not do it either.
His speech quickened as he grasped the actually important bit of information.
He held his sister's hand more tightly, "Heavens, I am so sorry, sister I...."
He trailed off, unsure what he would continue with.
Rukhmini squeezed his hands, rolled her eyes and offered him a good natured smile, "Brother it was a mutual decision. We have been together for so long at one point it stopped being something we did out of love and simply a habit. The love went away, the habit remained. We fell out of love I suppose. But this long together I do not have regrets. I enjoyed being his consort. The eternal commitment.....I do not think I possess," here she stared at Arjun and emphasized her words as if to signal something to him, "the patience or the effort required for such a thing. Maybe," she winked at him, nudging his side with her elbow after pulling him by her side, "someone else could. No?"
She looked up at him, inquisitive.
Arjun however did not notice, he was looking up at the sky, offering a quick prayer to Heavens, praying for the wellbeing of Krishn.
Noticing Rukhmini's inquisitive stare, he non-committedly hummed.
Rukhmini didn't seem satisfied but didn't push him on it.
"So what are the plans now? He did take you as his wife, no?"
Rukhmini sighed as if that was a great travesty, "Unfortunately, yes. I do not understand how you stand him, brother."
Neither do I, I'm surprised I haven't strangled him or actually any of you in your sleep.
He just nodded.
"But!"
She exclaimed as she dropped her hold on him to twirl and stand in front of him with her hands spread wide as if she was going to show him a surprise.
"I am going to govern a kingdom!! You know I love administrative tasks!! He's going.....I don't really know, but with you probably."
Arjun smiled at her, "Mhmm and where is this husband of yours? Because he's certainly not with me."
Rukhmini rolled her eyes, "He's somewhere along the edge of the nearby lake, playing his flute. Follow the sound and you shall seek the treasure I just dumped."
Arjun bowed towards her, "Then can I take your leave?"
Rukhmini looked at him with a look of fond annoyance mixed with the affection she always reserved for his and Krishn's shenanigans.
"Sure. Strangle each other if you can, less work for me!"
And with that Arjun was off, rushing to find his Madhav.
Rukhmini smiled as she watched him go, somethings were truly constant.
She turned around, her face set in an expression of grim determination and anticipatory joy.
Arjun rushed past trees, people as wind caressed him.
Some shouted at him for being so recklessly in his hurry.
Arjun shouted back his insincere apologies.
Soon he reached a clearing near the edge of a lake where a lone figure stood leaning against a large Neem tree. Arjun drew his dash to a halt near the tree.
The flute player's back was visible to him. He did not utter a sound yet the flute player stopped playing as if aware of his presence.
As the flute player turned around Arjun did not need to see him to know who he was.
The tune that had been playing was a memory in itself for them. A memory, a language, an affirmation, a declaration and a sign.
Of which all of them had one simple summary.
I love you, I am here for you.
There was a song in the future Arjun loved. The lyrics went along the lines of,
"When you're feeling down and dull alone and you've got no way to go, you lean on me."
"When you're lost when you're scared when you're broke beyond repair, you can lean on me."
Arjun saw Krishn in those lyrics.
"Parth, priya Parth."
A soft voice spoke, loud in it’s joy and deafening in it's love.
Arjun grinned for a long long while.
Eyes crinkled as he looked at the love of his immortal existence.
He had never said the statement out loud. Never had the courage to.
But he didn't need to.
As the winds passed between them, as the smell of fresh earth after a rain hit his nose
He knew that time itself knew that. He knew that the winds carried his love.
It was a secret between him and the world.
And someday maybe those winds would also carry the sound as he declared it for his heart to hear.
Because Arjun's heart had long since stopped being in his chest.
The very representation of it was dressed in amber robes, carrying a wooden flute, adorned with a mischievous smile.
And holding love in his eyes.
I love you.
He spoke not those words but let himself feel how exactly being in love made him feel.
Let the joy pass through him as he replied back, "You're late. I missed you, Krishn."
Krishn winked at him, "My beloved, if I had a say in our partings, there wouldn't be a moment we were apart. Yet cruel fate has it out for us."
Arjun rolled his eyes as he stepped closer to Krishn, everyone else was an afterthought to him, the sound of the cows passing, whispering of people were registered, sure. But acknowledged? No.
"Well we always seem to make fate itself bow to our will, no?"
Krishn's mischief fled, sincerity took its place.
And as Krishn bridged the gap between them.
He raised his hand to cup Arjun's cheek.
One hand softly caressing it, the other still holding onto the flute.
His head leaned closer.
As he kissed Arjun softly on the forehead.
"Mhmm," Krishn agreed, his breath fanning Arjun's forehead, "we always do seem to beat it. But alas I wish it wasn't a fight we had to fight at all."
And in this moment Arjun felt loved.
It was gratifying being in love. Millions of years and yet and yet, being in love with Krishn still gave him butterflies, had him kicking his feet, twirling his hair and blushing.
Sweet blessed love.
And in this moment Arjun fell a little more for the love of his immortal existence.
"Mhmm.
Korol_Rezni on Chapter 1 Wed 24 Jan 2024 07:50AM UTC
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Aan (Guest) on Chapter 4 Mon 11 Sep 2023 02:47AM UTC
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Aan (Guest) on Chapter 5 Mon 11 Sep 2023 02:58AM UTC
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SuaveBlackSwan on Chapter 9 Fri 08 Sep 2023 12:36PM UTC
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Ruan_Avalor on Chapter 9 Fri 08 Sep 2023 03:06PM UTC
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SuaveBlackSwan on Chapter 9 Fri 08 Sep 2023 03:14PM UTC
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Aan (Guest) on Chapter 9 Mon 11 Sep 2023 03:35AM UTC
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edensonlylav on Chapter 9 Sat 16 Sep 2023 05:33PM UTC
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Bl_Devotees on Chapter 9 Sun 17 Sep 2023 03:18PM UTC
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Bl_Devotees on Chapter 10 Fri 10 Nov 2023 04:17PM UTC
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Ruan_Avalor on Chapter 10 Sun 12 Nov 2023 07:49AM UTC
Last Edited Sun 12 Nov 2023 07:50AM UTC
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Bl_Devotees on Chapter 10 Mon 13 Nov 2023 04:41PM UTC
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Aan (Guest) on Chapter 10 Sun 12 Nov 2023 03:12AM UTC
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Ruan_Avalor on Chapter 10 Sun 12 Nov 2023 07:49AM UTC
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MingyuTheAdorablePuppy on Chapter 12 Sat 07 Sep 2024 04:53PM UTC
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=_= (Guest) on Chapter 12 Sun 08 Sep 2024 10:29AM UTC
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=_= (Guest) on Chapter 13 Sat 28 Dec 2024 06:14AM UTC
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Ruan_Avalor on Chapter 13 Sun 29 Dec 2024 07:47PM UTC
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