Work Text:
“Kill yourself.”
The twisted words echoed inside your head. What’s wrong with you, are you going crazy? A part of you wanted to pretend nothing was wrong, that you were happy and content with your life. The other part wants to end it all.
You feel conflicted with these scattered emotions. It became too much to hide, so you locked yourself inside your bedroom.
It’s pathetic when you think about it too much, how weak you are. How you crumble and break down over the smallest of things, how you get so sensitive.
You are embarrassed of your ugly tears, and you especially wouldn’t want Simon to see them.
You lay in bed, stuffing your face into your tear-soaked pillow. Why is life so complicated? Why are we born, just to take up oxygen then eventually die?
Meanwhile, Simon had been knocking on your front door for about 10 minutes now. He began to get worried from the lack of any response. He had a key to your house, but he didn’t want to be intrusive. What if you had just gotten out of the shower or something? He sighed before going to back to knocking and ringing the door bell.
**
You couldn’t hear him knocking since you weren’t paying attention to the noise. Eventually, tears stopped flowing from your eyes. Your sniffles and the gloomy look on your face were all that remained. Reaching your arm out, you grab a hold of the comforter and pull it over your body. Now bundled up, you begin to fall asleep.
**
Simon grew anxious after 5 more minutes of knocking with no response. “I’m sorry for being invasive.” He says, before grabbing the key and unlocking your front door.
When he stepped inside, he noticed how strangely silent it was. Even if only one person lived here, it felt off. He looked around the couch and kitchen, but didn’t see you.
After a bit of searching around, he realized the only place he hadn’t check was your bedroom. He knocked on the door gently, “[Name]? Are you in there?” No reply. He tried to open the door, but it was jammed. After a few tries of forcefully twisting the knob, he finally got it. The door slammed open with force, and he walked inside.
“[Name]..” He said, noticing how much tears had stained the pillow you were resting on. He noticed your sad expression, even if you were asleep. He wondered why you had hidden yourself from the world, he wished that he could help you.
He walked over to the side of your bed, and watched a tear roll down your cheek. “I wish things would get better for you.” He said, brushing through your hair gently with his fingers. “I want to be able to make your life easier.”
When you felt his fingertips, it made you slowly awake from your sleep. When you realized Simon was in your room and could see the big mess, you got embarrassed. “I’m sorry I’m like this.” You say, tears pouring down your face now.
“No, I understand.” Simon replies, and sits on the edge of the bed. “You look comfortable in all of those layers of blankets.” He laughed to himself a bit, bringing a small smile to your face. But it soon went away when you remembered how much your brain hated you.
“My mind is telling me bad things, it hates me.” You mumble as you sniffle. You wipe your puffy eyes. Simon suddenly lays down beside you, and reaches out his arms to hug you.
“Don’t listen to what it says then.” The advice felt a bit dumb but you didn’t mind since the hug was warm and definitely needed. When was the last time you were hugged by someone?
“Why do you care about me?” The question makes Simon pause, he looks at you with sadness in his eyes. “Because, I love you. Please let me help you from now on. Please don’t lock yourself away from the world.” He answers with a weary smile. You his felt his heartbeat, his chest expanding for each inhale, it calmed you down. The reminder that another person is there for you makes you feel better.
**
The wind from the fan cools off your warm body. The breeze it created was relaxing, you held Simon tighter as you both laid there. You decided you weren’t going to die, you weren’t going to leave Simon alone in the world so selfishly. He cares about you, he would be devastated if you did that.
Looking at the clock on the wall that was in the corner of your eye, you realize how late it was. By now, Simon was peacefully resting and you should too. You close your eyes and allow yourself to slowly fall asleep. Right before drifting to sleep fully, you smile at the thought that someone cares about you.
You rest in the arms of Simon, who you are grateful to have in your life.