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1.
Celebrity Manhunt is a gossip-hounding show for gossip-hounding idiots. Everyone knows that, and everyone thinks it, but apparently, Blaineley and Josh didn't get the memo.
If they wanted to hear about the newly-reunited Drama Brothers, Harold would be just fine. But all they want to ask about is how the cast feels now that they've been locked out of the Gemmy awards, and what is it like to not be famous anymore?
Harold's still famous. He's definitely still famous, have you seen the groupies the Drama Brothers attract?
And his fair Leshawna is currently talking to Tyler, not him. It's not that Tyler's a bad guy, per se. But he for sure doesn't have the wicked smarts and skills that Harold does, so why Leshawna would pay attention to him over Harold is anyone's guess. The pair are slumped against the outside wall of the building, engrossed in conversation. They both look a tad glum about the prospect of not being celebrities any longer. Leshawna's makeup is smudged, which she would never let happen normally.
So Harold saunters over, intent on comforting his babe and making it clear to Tyler that she's not available, dude, back off before I karate chop you!
Leshawna's face does seem to brighten when she spots Harold coming toward them, which helps to put a further spring in his step. "Harold, baby!" she says, patting the spot on the concrete next to her. "Come on and sit down with us."
Harold sits. Tyler shoots him a grin that he does not return.
"What are you guys talking about?"
Leshawna sighs. "Oh, just tossin' ideas around on what to do now that Chris has dropped us like a bad ex-boyfriend. Tyler says there's a new season of Rotten Egg Regatta that we could try out for."
"I love that show!" Harold exclaims. "If you really want a stalwart and loyal teammate to help man the egg cannons, then I'm your guy."
"Aw, thanks, sugar-baby." Leshawna smiles. "But Tyler and I have kind of cracked the code on working together when it comes to reality TV."
"Yeah!" Tyler holds his arms in an (in Harold's expert opinion, weak) imitation of Usain Bolt's victory pose. "Leshawna and I totally got this in the bag!"
Harold hadn't loved all the time they spent together in between seasons before, but back then he'd been too focused on his music to care about anything else. Ultimately, he forgot about it. Seeing Leshawna here tonight for the first time in person in a long while, however, reminds him how much he's missed her. How strong his feelings for her really are. And Tyler is proving to be the tracksuited wrench in Harold's otherwise flawless plans to woo back his lady love.
"Don't you have your own girlfriend?" he asks Tyler loudly. "Why don't you do the challenges with her?"
And at this, Tyler slumps. "Lindsay doesn't even remember my name, man," he says dejectedly. "I don't think it would really work out."
"Besides," says Leshawna, shooting Harold a sharp glance from the corner of her eye as she pats Tyler comfortingly on the shoulder. "Tyler and I are just friends. We've starred on, what, a dozen shows together? And we've come so close to winning, like, five different times."
"Oh, yeah, bro," says Tyler, eyes suddenly wide. "Leshawna's just my good buddy! Nothing more, I promise!"
Harold scrutinizes them both with narrowed eyes...
"I trust you," he says, winking at Leshawna (she smiles and shakes her head), and then he grins. "Tyler, do you know the Eggs Benedict Arnold gunning technique? Statistically speaking, eight out of ten teams on the Regatta that use it make it to the final four..."
2.
It's the first night of play in the new season, the end of the Egypt challenge and (hopefully) of any lingering scarabs. Team Victory just had to boot Zeke out first...again...for losing the divining rod Chris had given them. It was a step up from his innocent misogyny back in Island, but it still really sucked. Wherever they end up next, Bridgette can only hope her team will do better.
It also really isn't helping that the Amazons won, because it means she's forced to share economy class with Team Chris Is Really, Really, Really, Really Hot. Most of them she can stand, but Alejandro is something else entirely. Even thinking of him now, Bridgette gets shudders, and not the creepy kind.
Geoff! Geoff, you have to think of Geoff. Your boyfriend, back home, who will definitely SEE IT if you cheat on him on international television. Geoff is waiting for you. Geoff is rooting for you. Get your head in the game. And stop thinking about Alejandro's hair. Dark, silky, sexy hair - NO!
Desperately, Bridgette searches for a distraction. She'll even talk to Izzy about the long, graphically-detailed practice of mummification, so long as it'll keep her from losing her mind.
Across the way, Leshawna's joined the other side of benches, chatting animatedly to Tyler. Which...is not a pairing Bridgette would have expected. They run in pretty much completely different social circles, and anyway - Bridgette hasn't really interacted with Tyler since his brief stint on the Killer Bass. But Leshawna is always nice to talk to. She hopes she isn't interrupting a private conversation as she shuffles over and takes Leshawna's other side.
"Hey, guys," she greets, offering Tyler a small nod. "How's it going?"
"Hey, Bridge." Leshawna beams at her. "Tyler and I are just debriefing the challenge and all. It's been a long time since we've fought on opposing reality TV teams."
"Oh, that's right!" Bridgette says, a little loudly in her sudden remembrance. "You guys did all those shows together after Total Drama Action!"
"Yup!" says Tyler. "Those were always pretty fun."
"What brings you over here, girl?" Leshawna asks. "Feelin' lonely?"
Despite herself, Bridgette starts to flush. "I needed a distraction from Alejandro," she says in an undertone, knowing Leshawna will understand. "It kinda drives me crazy how he even sits in cruddy economy class hotly."
Leshawna's eyes grow big as dinner plates. "Oh, I know! Did you see the way he balanced his whole team on that goat? I was fanning myself!"
"I know right - "
"Hey, wait, aren't you with Geoff?" Tyler suddenly asks her. "And Leshawna, I know you care about Harold a lot." He indicates Alejandro behind him with a jerk of his thumb over his shoulder. The man in question is resting with his arms crossed behind his head, eyes shut. "I get that the guy's suave, but I don't want anyone to get hurt. Including you guys."
Despite the hot guilt coiling in her stomach at having been called out, Bridgette raises her eyebrows at Tyler's genuineness. From his tone of voice, she gets the sense that this isn't the first time he and Leshawna have talked about relationship stuff. Again, Bridgette feels surprised at the connection between the two.
"Oooooh, I know, Tyler," Leshawna says. "We're just checking out the eye candy, that's all. Lindsay's been doing it, too."
He sighs. "Yeah. I guess I'm just lookin' out for you guys."
Well, now Bridgette just feels kinda touched. "We appreciate it, Tyler," she says, smiling. "Don't worry about us, seriously."
"Besides," Leshawna says, a sly grin spreading across her face. "I heard you on the tarmac before. Any reason you had to assure Alejandro you like girls?"
Tyler's shoulders hunch. "Because I do! Like girls! So what if Alejandro's really handsome? And has great athletic form. And doesn't wear an undershirt. That doesn't mean anything!"
Bridgette and Leshawna look at each other, and just start to giggle.
3.
"Hurry up, Leshawna, you're in my way!"
Leshawna growls, sliding the bathroom door shut behind her. "Oh, so asking nicely is completely out of the question, huh?"
Heather rolls her eyes. "I've been waiting to use the confessional for, like, ever. It's not my fault you're so obsessed with Alejandro that you need to hog it to wax poetic about his butt, or whatever."
"For your information, I am with Harold," Leshawna seethes. "It's not my fault you're jealous Alejandro doesn't want you!"
Heather scoffs. "Me? Want him? As if. Though I'm sure any guy would prefer me over the girl who had a fart baby on national television."
"And I'm sure any guy would prefer me over the girl who ate jam out of Owen's belly button!" Leshawna retorts. "That's right, none of us have forgotten that! No one wants to kiss those jelly lips."
"Oh, that is it," Heather growls. Leshawna is infuriating enough on a good day, but right now, she's driving Heather absolutely bananas - even more than Sierra, which speaks volumes."If you don't get your big-butted, tacky-clothes-wearing, geek-loving self out of my way - "
"Hey!" Someone behind her says. "Lay off of Leshawna, Heather!"
With a curl of her lip, Heather turns to face Tyler. "I'm sorry, I hadn't realized this was any of your business."
"It's my business if you're messin' with my friend," Tyler declares, standing at full height (which is still an inch or two shorter than Heather). "Now back off, or I'm gonna have to thumb-wrestle you."
Heather only arches an eyebrow. "Thumb-wrestling? I bet you couldn't even beat me at that, let alone any other sport that requires actual talent!"
"Tyler is plenty talented!" Leshawna interjects, and great, now they're both nagging on her about their weird (apparent) friendship. "I know you can't bend your twig-skinny body into freaky, unnerving shapes the way he can!"
"Since when are you two friends, anyway?" Heather demands. "It's not like you would have even talked to each other in high school."
"Why does no one ever remember," Tyler starts angrily. "That Leshawna and I have filmed, like, twelve TV shows together?!"
"Oh," drawls Heather. "Right. Forgot about those. Because you guys never actually won any of them, did you?" She smirks. "Just like in this game."
Leshawna and Tyler glance each other's way.
"You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Tyler asks.
"Honey, I'm already there," Leshawna replies, and with a grin, she grabs Heather by the shoulders, spins her around, and shoves her into the confessional so hard, Heather's hand lands in the toilet bowl trying to break her fall.
"Ugh! What do you think you're doing?!" Heather demands, and the last thing she sees before Tyler slams the door on her forcefully enough to make it stick is him and Leshawna exchanging a fist bump.
"Chris," Heather says, after scrubbing her hand clean, staring straight ahead at the camera. "Don't you dare use that footage."
One has to wonder why she would even bother to ask.