Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Hey guys, this book will be full of quotes for a bunch of different fandoms. If you have one you would like to see feel free to let me know and I’ll see what I can do.

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Sonic: Go to sleep or you’ll hate yourself in the morning.

Shadow: I’ll hate myself in the morning regardless.

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Shadow: Sonic, I beg of you. Please, PLEASE go to the doctor.

Sonic: Hey, I'm sorry. Is this OUR stab wound?

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Kwazii: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!

Paani: Apparently, we're not.

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Paani: I'm so happy, I could kiss you!

Kwazii: Um...Neat.

*later*

Kwazii, lying face down on their bed: I said "Neat," Dashi. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid.

Dashi, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Kwazii. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Tweak confessed her love for me?

Kwazii: Didn't you thank her?

Dashi: *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I fucking thanked her.

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Tweak: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.

Dashi: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.

Tweak: I said within reason, Dashi. How about I murder that guy?

Dashi: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?

Tweak: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

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Sonic: I’m having a midlife crisis

Silver: you’re 15

Sonic: I MIGHT DIE AT 30

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Cole: I love cooking breakfast. It makes the whole house smell like bacon.

Lloyd: That’s true, but it also smells like fire and panic.

Cole: You and the smoke detector need to get off my case.

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Jay: I made tea.

Zane : I don't want tea.

Jay: I didn't make you tea. This is my tea.

Zane : Then why did you tell me?

Jay: It's a conversation starter.

Zane : It's a horrible conversation starter.

Jay: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

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Kai: Wow, Cole, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Cole: We literally slept together yesterday.

Kai: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

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Sam: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Bucky: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

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Kwazii: I think it’s time I get my life in order.

Paani, narrating: But he did not get his life in order. In fact, he got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.

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Captain Barnacles: Kwazii...

Kwazii: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

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*Casually in the Middle of a High Stakes/Dangerous Situation*

Paani: How do you eat pickles?

Kwazii: What do you mean?

Paani: I mean, there's a whole process. It's not like you can grab them from the jar with your hand, because it's cold and the juice burns if you have a cut, plus, it's pretty unsanitary. And you can't use a spoon because you'll have to scoop it out, and it'll be way too difficult to grab more than three or four without taking 10 minutes along with half the brine in the jar, even if it's one with holes.

Kwazii: Yeah, that's why you use a fork.

Paani: Okay, sure, but what if you don't have one of the big ones clean? It's weird to use a small one. But there is always  one of those smaller sharp knives clean.

Kwazii: But the straight edge doesn't really fit the cylindrical shape, and you have to make sure you don' t break it, it's too much work.

Paani: It makes me feel like I deserve the pickles though. Like, "Yeah, I did it. That's right. Good job me." It's empowering. But even after that, it's not like you can use a bowl.

Kwazii: I get that, it's not ascetically pleasing.

Paani: Exactly! And it looks weird if you don't entirely fill the bowl, but you also can't eat that many. My solution: Use a mug.

Kwazii: *Nods in agreement*

Tweak: That is all very interesting, BUT WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW! USE YOUR LIMITED ATTENTION SPANS AND FOCUS!

Paani: Jeez, okay.

Kwazii: Quit yelling at us already.

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Shadow: Wait, you like me?? For my personality???

Sonic: I know, I was surprised too.

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Silver: I've never asked someone out. How do you even do it?

Sonic: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: "Hey... how you doin'?" Shadow, scoffing: Oh, please.

Sonic, to Shadow: Hey, how you doin'?

Shadow:

Shadow: *giggles and blushes*

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Zane: there is no such thing as a stupid question

Lloyd: what’s in mango salsa

Zane: I stand corrected

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Cole, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often?

Kai, confused: I mean, this is our ship, so yeah.

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Rouge: Hey Handsome, pass the sugar

Knuckles: *picks up tails*

Rouge: that’s not what I meant

Sonic: hey Knux, pass the salt

Knuckles: *picks up Blaze*

Sonic: *deep sigh*

Silver: I’ll take the salt

Knuckles: *hands Blaze to Silver*

Sonic: just pass the pepper

Knuckles: *picks up a stunned with confusion Shadow*

Sonic: you know what, hand him over, I’ll take him

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Krel: Yeah, I don’t like people.

Douxie: Oh, well now that’s not fair Krel. Have you met all of them?

Krel: I’ve met enough of them. People. What a bunch of bastards!

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Lloyd: Zane , I want a bedtime story!

Zane : I’m busy, Lloyd. I’ll tell you one tomorrow.

Lloyd: If you don’t tell me a story, I won’t go to bed!

Zane : Once upon a time, there was a boy, Lloyd, who always wanted things his way. One day, his friends got sick of it and locked him in the basement for the rest of his life. Everyone else lived happily ever after. The end.

Lloyd: I don’t like these stories with morals.

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Cole: we have like five people trying to kill us now what do we do

Zane: I count 8

Cole: excuse me for not being specific enough

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Lloyd: Wanna hear some dark humor.

Kai: Yeah, I love dark humor.

Lloyd: Alright.

Lloyd: *Turns off the lights*

Lloyd: Knock knock.

Kai: Turn the damn lights back on.

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Lance: I notice that there are only two graves dug here

Bad guy: obviously you have to share

Lance: well I think I speak for the group when I say who shares with who

Pidge: I’m not sharing with Shiro

Lance: I think it only fair that Keith and I share a grave by ourselves

Hunk: after everything we’ve been through

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Jim: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Claire: You and me!!!

Jim, tearing up: Okay.

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Sonic: don’t break someone’s heart, they only have one

Shadow: break their bones

Knuckles: they have 206 of those

Tails: NO

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Shadow: don’t worry, I have several knives up my sleeves

Knuckles: your not even wearing sleeves

Tails: don’t you mean cards

Shadow: *pulls more knives then seemingly possible out of his gloves and shoes*

Sonic: he did not

Silver: nope

Shadow: I did not

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Krel, tending to Douxie's wounds: How would you rate your pain?
Douxie: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

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Keith: you’re acting like a child Lance

Lance: I AM NOT ACTING

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Leo: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.

Donnie: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!

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Leo: hey let’s do “get help”.

Donnie: what?

Leo: “get help”.

Donnie: No

Leo: Come on you love it.

Donnie: I hate it

Leo: It’s great. It works every time.

Donnie: It’s humiliating

Leo: Do you have a better plan?

Donnie: No

Leo: We’re doing it

Donnie: We are not doing “get help”.

*10 seconds later*

Leo: *with Donnie leaning on him*  GET HELP PLEASE. MY BROTHER HE’S DYING *throws Donnie at enemies* HELP HIM!

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Sabine: I can see what’s happening
Ezra: what?
Sabine: and they don’t have a clue
Ezra: WHO?
Sabine: *points to Zeb and Kallus* they’ll fall in love and here’s the bottom line
Sabine: our trio’s down to two
Ezra: oh

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Chopper: I don’t have anything against you, but I can make up lots of reasons to attack you!!

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Anakin: Good news! I didn’t screw up!

Ashoka: ...

Anakin: I screwed up less badly than usual!

Ashoka: ...

Anakin: Screwed up with less immediate consequences than usual.

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Ashoka: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you’re single?

Anakin: Do not do that.

Ashoka: You won’t even notice!

Padmé, entering: Ashoka, you wanted to see me again?

Ashoka: Anakin's single

Anakin:

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Jay: That shirt looks great, Kai.

Kai: Thanks.

Jay: But I bet it would look even better on Cole’s floor.

Cole: Are you hitting on Kai... for me?

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Logan: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Mateo: *takes one step into a cave and sets off every trap possible, things are on fire, it is chaos, he’s running around trying to fix it until he’s caught in a trap*

Logan: That one. I want that one.

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Mr Oz: now I need you to imagine your teammates

Logan: (imagines Mateo)

Albert: he said teammates, plural you useless gay

Logan: fuck my bad

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Anakin: A decision had to be made.
Ashoka: And you fucked it up!

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Logan: when two people like each other they put their mouths together

Logan: and depending on how much you like them the kiss can be real long

Logan: sometimes for hours

Sneak: ew

Sneak: taking a banana from Susan sounds easier

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Shiro to Adam: you look ravishing this evening

Keith to Lance: baby, all your facial parts, they’re in the right spots

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Sonic: *kisses Shadow *

Shadow : What is this?

Sonic: Affection.

Shadow : Disgusting.

Shadow :

Shadow: Do it again.

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Sam: Are you.. blushing?

Bucky: What, no.

Sam: Did I get the ever-stoic, hardcore, total badass Bucky Barnes to blush?

Bucky: No... It's... It's the cold.

Sam: Huh. It's the nonexistent cold. And not that I told you "your face is freaking adorable and I bet the rest of you is too?"

Bucky: *blushing harder* *voice cracks* N-no.

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Raph: Leo, remember when you said you weren’t going to interfere with my love life?
Leo: No, that doesn’t sound like me at all.

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Jay: If I stay in bed I'll be warm. If I get in the shower, I'll also be warm. But the distance between the bed and shower? No. That is not warm.

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Computer: Please enter a password.

Shadow: *types in Sonic*

Computer: Your password is too weak.

Shadow: How fucking DARE YOU-

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Pidge : I don’t like saying “I told you so” but..

Hunk : like hell you don’t it’s your favorite phrase

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Captain Barnacles: who broke the hot coca

machine. I’m not mad, I just want to know.

Everyone:

Peso: I did it

Captain: no you didn’t. Kwazii?

Kwazii: don’t look at me, look at Tweak

Tweak: I didn’t break it

Kwazii: then how did you know it was broken?

Tweak: it’s right in front of us

Kwazii: suspicious

Dashi: not that it matters, but I saw Paani near it earlier

Paani: I don’t even drink the stuff

Dashi: then maybe you could calmly explain what you were doing by it…

Paani: I used the plug to charge my Octowatch

Peso: I broke it, let me help Tweak fix it

Captain: no, who broke it

Tweak: Shellington has been awfully quiet

Shellington: IM ALWAYS QUIET

Everyone: *fighting*

Captain Barnacles, interview style: it was me. I burned myself and broke it by accident. It’s about time they learned how to resolve conflict without me.

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Mateo: I told Zoey that her ears turn red when she lies.

Cooper: Do they?

Mateo: No.

Cooper: Then why did you tell her that?

Mateo: Because I can do this.

Mateo: Hey Zoey! Do you love us?

Zoey, with their hands over her ears: No.

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Kanan: What happened?!

Zeb : Do you want the long version or the short version?

Kanan: Sh-short??

Zeb : Shit's fucked.

Kanan: Okay, long.

Zeb : Shit's very fucked.

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Tikal: who broke the master emerald, Chaos and I aren’t mad. We just want to know

Everyone:

Tails: I did it

Tikal: no you didn’t. Knuckles?

Knuckles: don’t look at me, look at Rouge

Rouge: I didn’t break it

Knuckles; then how did you know it was broken?

Rouge: it’s right in front of us

Knuckles: suspicious

Amy: not that it matters, but I saw Blaze by it earlier

Blaze: what, I don’t even live here

Silver: then maybe you could calmly explain what you were doing by it…

Blaze: I left the Sol emeralds with Knuckles to fire and came to get them

Tails: Tikal, I broke it, let me fix it

Tikal: no, who broke it

Sonic: Shadow has been awfully quiet

Shadow: IM ALWAYS QUIET

Everyone: *fighting*

Tikal, interview style: it was chaos and I, we thought it would be good for them to resolve a conflict, let’s see how they do

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Lloyd: Hey, do you know the password to Kai’s computer?

Cole: Fuck you, Lloyd.

Lloyd: Hey!!

Cole: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouLloyd".

Lloyd: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe

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Ezra: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions.

Hera: Ridiculous. Give me some examples.

Zeb: Wasps?

Sabine: Terriers?

Kanan: Chopper

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Anakin: Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?

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Steve: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Tony: Wow. They sound stupid.

Steve: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Tony: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Steve: I guess you’re right. Hey Tony, I love you.

Tony: See! Just say that!

Steve: Holy fucking shit.

Tony: If that flies over their head then, sorry Steve, but they're too dumb for you.

Steve: Tony.

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Steve: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.

Tony: I sleep with a knife.

Sam: Both of you are pathetic.

Steve: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Sam: Bucky.

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Mikey: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.
Mikey: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.
Leo: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?
Mikey: Ominous positivity.

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Chopper: You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon.

Chopper: It's me.