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“Do you… want to become matesprits?”
Her soft voice asked, barely above a whisper. A lip bite and the soft magenta tint on her cheeks had made it evident that she was, in fact, nervous.
Sollux looked at the heiress sitting in front of him, his mouth slightly agape.
“I was not… expecting that.”
Feferi’s pained expression had made it apparent that he ha, in fact, royally fucked up. A binary yes or no answer, fumbled by him. How… ironic.
“Shit, no, I didn’t mean it like that!” He took her hand impulsively and held it between his own. “I didn’t mean to say it as if I was rejecting you, Ff.”
“So you’re saying yes?” She asked, the sadness in her visage now almost gone.
“It’s more complicated than that. It’s… It’s a lot to unpack.”
“Then let’s unpack it together. I’m in no rush.” Feferi shifted on her improvised seat and crossed her legs, cupping her own face with her hands to watch him attentively.
Sollux blushed ever so slightly, however he cleared his throat and exhaled in preparation to speak. If the girl he liked was offering her unqualified therapist services, who was he to dismiss her?
“It’s hard to put it into words but I don’t think I deserve to be in a red quadrant with anyone. Or to even have you as a friend.” He lowered his head in embarrassment. “This sounds so fucking edgy, doesn’t it?”
“It does not.” Her cold, cold hand rubbed his shoulder and Sollux couldn’t pinpoint if those shivers he was feeling were because of the temperature or because of her touch in itself. Maybe a mix of both. “It sounds as if you were hurting for the longest time all by yourself. It sounds as if you didn’t even know how to ask for help or if you even deserved to do it.”
He froze at the accuracy of her claim. Sollux felt so vulnerable yet so comfortable. “Geez. Is it that obvious?” Both chuckled.
“I’ve had my eye on you for a whale now.” The puns. The god damned (or rather cod damned?) fish puns. He snorted as he laughed at the absurdity of it all, and she laughed along with him.
“You pick up on the small comments, gestures, expressions and so on and form a bigger, greater picture in your mind of how a person is, and what their state of mind is.” Feferi added after composing herself.
“What a fucking mess of a man I am.” Sollux covered his face with both of his hands and slouched over himself out of embarrassment.
“One that I am glad to take care of.” Both of her hands were on his shoulders, her sharp toothed smile as beautiful as ever. He lifted his head to meet her eyes.
“It’s a lot to ask of you, Ff.”
“It is. And I’m more than happy to do it.”
A glimmer of hope for him, as dim as it was, could be felt at the distance.
“I can’t promise I’ll change for the better. I can promise, however, that I will try.” Sollux said while sighing and slouching slightly.
“That’s enough for me.” Feferi took his face between her hands and, after sweeping his bangs out of his forehead and caressing his face in the process, she planted a kiss on his lips.
It was pointless to deny it anymore.
“Let’s become matesprits then, princess.” Feferi leapt from the pile of horns they were sitting at and hugged him as tightly as she could without hurting the poor lowblood. Sollux reciprocated the hug and hid his face on her neck.
For once in his life, he embraced the warmth on his chest and the butterflies she gave him, now actively ignoring the feelings of self hatred and loathing that guided his every step.
He also chose to ignore how her voice seemed to echo in his head.