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He’d never told her.
Sam Yao ached. His muscles ached from lack of use in the tiny cell. His stomach ached from the lack of food he was being given. But most of all, his heart ached with things left unsaid.
He was certain he hadn’t told Maxine and Paula how much he adored them enough. He hadn’t sung lullabies to Sara enough. It wasn’t often that he wrote Jack and Eugene to tell them how much he missed them around the township. He knew he hadn’t told Janine that he appreciated her enough. He should have told Peter how happy he was to have him back every day.
And Five–
Sam’s throat closed up, fresh tears stinging his tired eyes.
He’d never told Runner Five that he loved her.
Not in the way that would have satisfied his aching heart, at least. He had technically told Runner Five that he loved her, and she had returned the sentiment plenty of times. However, it was always an exchange between close friends.
Sam had never mustered the courage to tell her the truth of it. That he did not just love her, but that he was in love with her. He was in love with everything about her. From the way she constantly fidgeted with strings on her sleeves, to her insistence on running in old, beat up trainers. He loved the way her eyes filled with mischievous danger when there was a strong storm outside, like the weather was challenging her. Conversely, he loved the way that she potitively glowed with warmth and a quiet joy on the few days of sun they got in the UK. He loved her laugh, which always sounded surprised to have been drawn out of hiding. He loved how competitive she got during game nights and how fiercely she cared about her township. He loved that she had stumbled bravely into Abel all those years ago. He loved that she was his best friend. He loved being in love with his best friend.
He hated that she would never know. It killed him that she would never know. She would never know because he was stuck in this cell and because he was stuck in this cell, she was gone.
Sam did not believe the videos at first. He had personally seen Runner Five cheat death hundreds of times, she simply couldn’t die. Not that easily. And then Valmont had sent him the video of her being shot in the head, point blank.
Sam was certain it was her because of her eyes. There had been this look of defiance in her eyes as she glared into the face of her murderer, putting her forehead to the barrel as if daring them to pull the trigger.
And then they did.
And then Runner Five was gone.
And Sam had never told her that he loved her.
He put his head into his hands as his shoulders shook.
“Please,” He whispered simply, to no one in particular, “Please, if somehow she’s alive, just give me one more chance. One more chance to tell her what she should have known for years. I don’t care if nothing comes of it, I just need her to know. I can’t die knowing I never told her. Please.”
Sam curled up on the hard, concrete floor of his cell. He whispered the words unsaid to himself, a lullaby of missed opportunity carrying him into a dreamless sleep.
____________________
Somewhere, not too far away, an Artificial Intelligence woke up and made a decision for her own preservation. A sleeping runner woke up as well, oblivious to the warmth that was so nearby in the middle of the glittering, frigid mountains.