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I woke up in a daze, head pounding and I couldn’t feel my left arm. The next thing I was aware of was the sound of sirens and music, rock music specifically. Some sort of epic guitar solo was paired with the sound of an approaching ambulance.
“Oh, you’re awake! Well, I’ll make this quick since it doesn’t look like it’ll last long. I’m Dave, and you’re now immortal.” A man of small stature and frame loomed over me, talking fast and making no sense. He ignored the music and the alarms like nothing was happening around us. “Right, I’ll give you this. You’ll be needing it pretty soon I’m sure,” he held up a business card and tucked it into my pocket. “Bye-bye!” A new wave of drowsiness washed over me and my head slumped to the side as I watched him wave and walk away.
When I woke up again, I was in the hospital and my girlfriend Penny was in a chair next to my bed. She hadn’t yet noticed I was awake and was talking on the phone, probably with her friend Claire. She was always on the phone with Claire and sometimes I wonder who’s girlfriend she is because of it. Penny and I don’t spend as much time together as we used to, but Claire gets just as much time as before, if not more. To be honest, the growing distance between us has been worrying, and we’d been on the phone just before I got hit by that car. Oh god, I got hit by a car!
I sat up in bed, or as far as I could in such a tangled mess of monitor lines, alerting Penny of my consciousness.
“Goodness Tom, you scared the hell out of me!” She put her phone away and hugged me, “How long have you been awake?”
“Long enough to know that Claire is aware of everything in the last twenty-four hours.” Looking up I was pleased to see that she looked slightly offended by this. “Did you enjoy the wait? Have the nurses been kind to you? How long was I out anyway?”
“The hospital has been just fine for the last two hours thank you very much. Now if you’re fine I think it’s time we left.” She left the room rather chuffed and I could hear her getting the attention of a nurse. I was tempted to take out all the vital monitors and the saline line like they do in the movies, but I heard it hurts and bleeds a lot. Besides, I have no reason to. So instead I waited and stared at the ceiling, the paint swipes still visible and in an imperfect pattern.
Later I was released from the hospital’s care, and now I had to worry about the bill when it came in the mail. It costs a lot to afford an ambulance ride, and a lot more to pay for the additional treatment at the hospital afterwards. I’m glad it was only two hours in that bed. Any longer and I think I’d be broke. I picked up my jacket from the emergency room and put it over Penelope’s shoulders. She's too cold and her long blond hair isn’t keeping her from shivering on this dreary morning.
“Here, take this.” I offered my jacket, “Sorry for making you worried.” The rest of the walk continues in awkward silence, the disinfected scratches on my face from being rammed onto the pavement stung more as the rain began to patter down from the sky. She pulled the hood up over her head and it blocked her face from view.
Once we got back to the apartment we didn't talk about our day, we ate in near silence and went to bed separately. I nearly take the couch, but she grips my arm in protest so I can’t leave the bedroom. We lie far apart from each other, as far as you can imagine you’d get on a twin-size mattress. I can’t fall asleep. It’s too cold without her touch. After checking that she was still asleep I inched my way across the mattress to her so I could hold her in my arms. I wanted to tell her “I’m still here,” but she already knows that. It doesn’t take long after I feel her chest rise and fall next to me to fall asleep to the sound of her breath.
Days and weeks have passed since I got out of the hospital. Penny and I have gone on more dates, and we’ve gotten closer again. The car accident really shook us up I guess, and the bills are on the way. Still, something bothers me about that day, like who was standing over me when I got hit? He certainly wasn’t the driver, since that guy came to the hospital to visit me just last week. I think he wanted to see if I was going to sue, which was fair since I had dislocated my shoulder when I landed and had rocks pinching the nerves of the rest of my limbs. Luckily the pain from the rocks didn’t have any lasting effects and I only heard about them from Penny since I felt mostly fine at the hospital. He left after giving a basket of goodies, probably prepared by his wife waiting in the car. The chocolates helped with Penny’s mood, and the fruit was nice before it rotted, but I can’t say I’ll be using the other stuff like the lavender soap. I tried it once and smelled like a grandma the whole week, I couldn’t get the stench out of the bathroom or my hair. Penny says she liked it and I should try it again, but who works in construction and smells like flowers? Still, more curious was what he said to me, perhaps a cruel joke on my situation. “You are immortal now,” I said to myself, “what a joke.”
Walking on my way to the current job site, I became rather bored, luckily I could hear a little notification ding from my pocket. By the sound of it, that little puzzle game I downloaded a few weeks ago should have unlocked another level. Fishing for my phone, something fell out of my pocket. A business card? Who’s business card would I have? I didn’t take the one from the driver…Wait…I turned it over to reveal what it said, “Immortals Anonymous” with a string of numbers to call under it, as well as a name, “David Solcer.” What kind of name is that? Is he an alien? Does he have a collection of teacups? It’s otherwise just a plain business card, nothing flowery about the background and the lettering is in Comic Sans. Ugh, gross. I tucked it into my wallet, might as well give it a call later, even if it’s just a prank.
Then something or rather someone grabbed me by the back of my jacket, into an alley, and then shoved me into a wall. This isn’t a very good day after all. He’s got a weapon, most likely a gun since it’s not sharp despite being pressed hard against my back.
He was quite pushy too, “All your money, hand it over!” He wasn’t all that secretive for someone performing a daylight robbery. I haven’t been robbed before, but according to the movies, this isn’t supposed to happen. I get that the movies aren’t exactly accurate, but I imagine that this isn’t what you’d do to avoid the cops getting called. I’m barely inside of this alleyway for one. I could run, I could shout, and if he shot me he’d have murder charges after being recognized by any passerby just two feet to my left. I’d rather not be the reason he gets murder charges though, so I reach into my pocket to retrieve my wallet. “Don’t get cocky on me and try to pull something!” He continued shouting. How the hell was no one interrupting this? The strap got caught on some metal piece so I had to shove it around a little to get it unstuck. “I said not to try anything funny!”
I didn’t feel the shot but I could hear it. A big blast from behind, the cars screeching to a halt before speeding away, and the clutter of people falling down. A normal reaction when you hear a gunshot, get down, or get out of here, I understand. What I don’t understand is where that gunshot went if it was pointed at my back and I feel fine. I didn’t feel like finding out, and it seems the guy didn’t feel like following me either.
Eventually, I ended up outside the construction site, much safer surrounded by coworkers who’d defend me and managers who’d loathe searching for a replacement than by strangers chancing a glance in the alleys. Though shaken up, I got to work, got cussed out for being late, apologized for the hold-up, and began pouring concrete. During the lunch break, I got pity after sharing my story, but it only earned me a free sandwich. Once finished for the day I paced back and forth judging whether I should go my typical way back home or take the long way. In the end, I opted to go the usual way but walk on the opposite side of the street. Then I remembered why I was fiddling with my wallet in the first place earlier. I pass by the same alleyway and can see a shining bullet shell on the ground and I know the gun must have been real. Why else would it be there? I pull out the business card and call the number at its base.
“Hello, this is Carmen with ‘Immortals Anonymous,’ how may I help you?” The soft voice of a woman twitters away on the other end of the line. It sounds real enough to me.
“Hi Carmen, could you please tell me where Immortals Anonymous meets? I think I just had an impossible run-in with death and came out unscathed.”
I spent the rest of the walk back to the apartment on the phone with Carmen as she told me about the group. It wasn’t a very long walk, but I got quite a bit of information. She gave the address, a phone number for the lead counselor David Solcer which was obviously different from the one on the card, and the date for the next meeting.
A week later I walked into a sterile building with white walls, too bright lights, and furniture that reminded me of a hospital waiting room. At the front desk was a red-headed woman in a light blue blouse, her nameplate “Carmen Perry” sat in front of her.
“Hello, you must be Tom, right? The group is meeting up in a room towards the back.” She stood up from the desk and motioned for me to follow her. She opened a door to an equally pale room with slightly more manageable lights and just as hideous furniture.
“Glad to see you again Tom,” a man of small stature and frame stood up from the circle of seats and held out his hand. “Let me reintroduce myself, I’m Dave. Glad to see you’re doing well after that crash, though it is to be expected since you’re here after all.”
“What do you mean?” His smile and what he said creeped me out. For a counselor, he didn’t look all that kind or caring. He looked more dull than anything.
“Well, you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t believe me when I said you were immortal, especially since you held onto my card for a month.” His smile grew wider. “You do remember that right?”
“It was a bit fuzzy at first, but yeah I remember.” This was weirding me out.
About ten minutes passed as three others joined us in the room. A well-dressed man in a suit and tie, a businessman most likely, came in first and handed over his business card without a word before sitting down. Richard Simmons as it would have it, an unfamiliar name but clearly he found himself to be in a position of importance to be handing out cards before greetings. The next to walk in was a man of neat but less than fancy appearance with a button-down shirt and beige slacks. He waved and gave a warm smile to everyone as he entered the room. The last guy came in with a sloppily thrown-together outfit of a flannel, a wifebeater shirt, and green cargo shorts. A very varied group as it would seem.
David demanded that the group introduce themselves one by one. Richard was a lawyer, the second guy Carl was a high school teacher, and the third was named Don and he ran a YouTube channel where he’d do dangerous stunts. Apparently, Richard had been stabbed several times by an angry client after losing their case, Carl had a seizure and considerable brain damage, and Don had tried to fight a crocodile. I’m not too sure about the third one being true, but I didn’t bother questioning it. Each of them had life-threatening injuries from their experiences and came out alive without any lasting injury. When it was my turn I told them about the car crash and the attempted mugging.
“You sure he didn’t just miss?” Richard pointed out.
“It was directly behind my back! How do you miss point blank on someone’s back?” I had thought about this, but it just didn’t make sense. Even if he intentionally missed, why would he do such a thing? What if I turned around and saw him and reported him for threatening my life? It made no sense. Richard did not look amused, but Don seemed excited by this and Carl looked concerned.
“That was very interesting Tom! Thank you for sharing. Normally we get into subsequent experiences later in sessions but I’m sure that you’ll learn about everyone soon enough. Now, would the rest of you like to tell Tom why we’re gathered here?”
Richard stood up, “We’re here because Mr. Solcer turned each of us immortal when we’d been injured in each of our stories. How? We don’t know, but he probably did it while we were in the ambulance since he works as an EMT.” This was new information and it made my stomach turn. Swiveling my head to face Dave, no, to face David as he grinned back with empty eyes. Would I be dead right now if he hadn’t done that?
David didn’t talk the rest of the session but most of the group complained of all the times their lives had been threatened since David gave them his business card. I tried not to look at him but I could feel him watching the whole time. Why would they meet up like this knowing that he’s responsible for all the pain they’ve gone through for months? I asked them what they’d been doing since finding out they were immortal. Carl continued as he had previously, just teaching and living alone. Apparently, his wife had died years prior from an incurable illness, and wishes that she’d been able to join him in immortality.
Carl told me about how they’d been searching for years for someone that could cure his wife Maria. When he had a seizure he was visiting her grave. A family visiting the same area of the graveyard found him and called the ambulance. David, who happened to be an EMT working that shift, had visited him in the hospital and handed his business card over. When he told Carl he was immortal he’d gotten so angry for what he perceived to be a prank that he’d attacked David. I watched the elderly educator recount the fight, at first he was sad but his expression turned sour. “I didn’t believe him until I’d stuck a fork from my meal tray into his neck and he didn’t even flinch.” I didn’t think about that before. I’d imagined that Carl would have been sad to be unable to join his wife in the afterlife, but I never thought he would have become violent over it. He looked down at his hands and spent the rest of the session sobbing that because of David he’d never see his dear Maria again. Would my relationship with Penny turn out the same way? Would I become so separated from her that I tried to kill the man responsible? That was sad, and shocking, but sad, and stuck with me till the session the next week.
This time I asked Richard about his plans for outliving everyone. He had been investing in stocks of client case successes and was hoping to amass wealth through them to support his life beyond acceptable living status. That’s actually pretty smart, but also pretty risky. I suppose he must really trust his client companies to make it big. He was quite proud of himself, and I didn’t see any reason for him not to be. I did not hear him mention anything about a lover or family once however, despite all the fun he claimed to be having with his well-to-do lifestyle. He did not even mention a pet. Though he had much money, success, and some small fame he didn’t mention anyone closer to him than the bottle of wine he had waiting for him at home. I felt bad for him, but I could understand his avoidance of creating relationships you expect to outlive. Is he doing the right thing? Is it wrong to live with someone you love if you know they’re going to die and you won’t? Is it wrong to love someone you can’t grow old with? Is it wrong to love Penny?
Penny has been spending more time with me than before. Less than the week after the car accident, but more than prior to it. The engagement ring box at the back of my dresser drawer is boring a hole in the back of my mind. She’s been looking at housing prices, the price tag isn’t pretty but the trimmed lawns and picket fences are deeply enticing. I don’t tell her exactly where I’ve been going every week, just that it’s an anonymous group. She’d think me crazy if she knew the specifics.
The next meeting reveals that Don hasn’t changed his life a bit since being told he was immortal, though he has tried more dangerous stunts like cliff diving or paragliding. He directed me to his YouTube channel, which was full of clickbait-style thumbnails, though I didn’t have enough time in the day to see if his tall stories and titles had any sense of the truth by watching the videos. He did have a sizable subscriber count and told me he was doing well for himself financially. Richard scoffed at him whenever he brought up money and pointed out how many times he’d been sued for his recorded antics, mostly regarding property damage he’d done.
I haven’t done much of anything. I go to work, I go home, I go out, and I go to bed. I don’t have the money to go on adventures or the confidence to manage stocks. Penny has been doing better and just got a job at a cafe while I got a bonus. Things are going pretty well aside from the creepy looks from David when he sits in on the meetings. I have everyone’s contact information if I ever want to talk to someone I relate to, so I don’t know if I’ll continue attending the meetings. I’ll make my decision by the next one. Penny isn’t a fan of me leaving so often.
A little stinger continues to prick at my brain. The common question you ask when talking about immortality: How will you outlive your loved ones? I almost brought it up with Carl, but since it would probably pick at a still fresh scar I decided against it. Don doesn’t have a girlfriend and separated from his family long ago, so I figured he wouldn’t have much to talk about. Richard is not a talker, at all. I didn’t bother to ask. I don’t think I can keep up with the horror of Penny finding out I’m immortal. It’s exciting at first, and it’s still exciting for Don, but I can’t live knowing that she’ll grow old in front of me and I won’t follow. I still love her very much, but if immortality makes it so that you watch everyone you love die, wouldn’t it be best to not have any loved ones? Or at least, wouldn’t it be better to not have any lovers?
I had pondered it long enough, she deserved better. I decided to break things off. I don’t want to watch her die at eighty while I stay twenty-nine for fifty years. When I tell her I want to separate she’s shocked.
“Is this because you’re seeing another woman? Is she the one you’ve been visiting every week?” She’s holding the ring box that I hadn’t yet returned to the jeweler.
“I’m not visiting a woman, it’s an anonymous support group.”
“Are you sure? Don’t think I didn’t notice you added a new girl to your contact list. Who’s Carmen? Is she part of this support group? Is it a group for supporting cheating partners?” She shoved past me and tossed the ring box on the kitchen counter.
I wanted to tell her it was a real group, that I was faithful, and that I didn’t want to hurt her. I wanted to tell her I love her. Instead, I remained silent as she packed her things the rest of the night and left for her parents’ house in the morning. I slept on the couch. She’ll probably quit her job too.
Breakfast was cold without someone to share it with. I hadn’t lived alone for a long while. The ring box was still on the counter. I looked at the cut gem, a tear-shaped diamond with small sapphires inlaid on the band. I spent the rest of the morning repeating the only thing that kept me going through the night.
“I’m doing the right thing.”
When I walked into the Immortals Anonymous meeting building things were weirdly clean, cleaner than usual even for such a sterile building. Carmen wasn’t at her desk, perhaps she was getting coffee or going to the restroom. I walked past the front desk and towards the back where the meeting room was. I seem to be early because only Richard and David are here. That’s it, I’m not coming back another time, he’s way too creepy. When I enter, Richard stands and walks towards me. That’s new.
“There’s no need to come back next week, the group is over.” He walks past me, out of the room, and I can hear the front door shut.
“What?” I said, too late for his ears to catch it.
“He’s telling the truth. Nice of him to stick around to tell you, though he could’ve given you a bit more explanation.” He shrugs his shoulders, “I guess that just falls to me then.” He hands a newspaper to me, and the front page shows Don’s face with the title “YouTuber Falls to Death on Live Video.”
“You know, this group was very helpful for figuring out what to and what not to do this century. It’s a shame Don had to cut things short.” He stood there still smiling. “By the way, I wouldn’t suggest getting into any more troublesome situations. You’re not immortal after all.”