Chapter Text
/RedCloudCrow
I (21M) told my brother (16M) he was worthless and now I created a cruel man.
Before I start, let me just clarify…I know I’m the asshole. I’m mainly writing this to find advice on how to bridge the gap I have created. I would call him worthless and less than that even, in order to be better than me and find an outlet for his anger. I truly want to apologize and start anew.
Between my brother and I, my parents always valued me as the golden child. We come from a prestigious family with a last name recognized throughout our entire town to the point where no one has not heard of us. Our father (48M) always pushed me to my limits trying to see if I would ever fail, but I never did. However I knew he was failing my brother, whom he seemed to ignore. When my brother was 6, he got into one of the top academies in our town yet our father wanted to skip the opening ceremony, to come to a parent-teacher conference that could be rescheduled with ease for me. I talked the teacher into emailing him to reschedule, despite her needing parent to ask for it.
My brother began to resent me, but I noticed he worked harder in school to have a focus. I tested out a theory I had, to see if he would perform better than the last on the next one, if I fed into the anger. I told him, when I went there, I already had skipped a grade by this point, yet he can’t seem to beat his classmate in this easy science subject. The next time grades came out, he placed first. Something both my parents seemed to ignore as well despite the fact that it was not an easy subject and an upper level class even for an elementary school child. So I proceeded for the next 8 years to keep edging him further and further to achieve better results.
Eventually I realized even when I did compliment him, he took it as an insult. He has this annoying best friend (16M), whom he claims is a better brother than me, and I don’t doubt it. I’m actually truly grateful he was able to have a friend like him.
This all came to head, when I tried to talk to him about this girl in his class, (ironically the classmate from earlier he could never beat & still struggles when it comes to STEM classes). I had overheard him talking to her on the way home from school, she lives nearby and the things he said were cruel and not anything he should ever say to someone. I know he finds her annoying, the girl is very much in love with him, even though she tries to deny it now. (This is a whole other story).
I confronted him about what he said, and he just blinked at me with a blank stare before shoving me down in the yard and punching me repeatedly. He got a lot stronger since the last time he had tried this, nor did I fight back and our father had to peel him off.
He said everything he learned about how to treat others came from me. Why did it matter if he was just a “worthless piece of shit who can’t amount to anything.” And I had no right to have an opinion on how he treats others when I’ve been treating him like garbage since he was 8. Father made it worse by kicking him out of the house, despite how I said I should be the one to leave. He is currently staying with his best friend and refuses to talk or see me or anyone from our family.
What can I do to bridge the gap?
Comments:
/Artbeast:3
Have you tried smiling at him? I heard a smile helps in these situations.
/Blondegoddess18
You sound like a sociopath…
/Artbeast:3
That’s what my therapists say.
/Blondegoddess18
Undoubtedly YTA…you can’t expect a child to be continuously bullied for 8 years to wind up okay. God men are idiots. I would explain to him why you did it, but don’t expect an apology or for him to resume contact.
/SharkBait_Bell
I have a friend in a similar situation. Other than the obvious YTA, talk! Communication is key for anything and you know one more fight to the death will solve any unresolved issues after that. He’s angry, let him boil over again and teach him a lesson, but talk at least after.
/Tobiisagoodboy_69
Gonna go out on the limb here and say NTAH. I know, crazy right? The kid sounded like a weak ass b*tch to begin with. So you were just doing what any brother would do. I wish I had a brother who could do this when I was going head to head with a rival from my high school days.
/PapercranesofSteel
YTA…but yeah what everyone is saying…communication is key here. I don’t think it’s unresolvable, but you should definitely stop whatever you were doing. It didn’t work the way you wanted to. Also it sounds like your brother is hard on this girl maybe because he likes her. Does he talk like that to other girls?
/RedCloudCrow (OP)
He doesn’t. There's even this other girl from another school who is worse about her obsession, but he only speaks kindly or indifferently. Like I said their story has a long complicated history, and I’m afraid he may be cruel to her, so that he thinks he's encouraging her to be better. Despite his remarkable scores and college prospects…he’s not the brightest when it comes to relationships.
/Blondegoddess18
I wonder why /RedcloudCrow…he definitely apparently gets it from you.
/BlackRodsofPain
Always great to see your advice in these comment threads. She gives the best advice.
/PowerofYOUTH
Deleted Comment…
/AITAMOD
Your comment has been removed because you don’t have the necessary Karama points or days since you have joined the community in order to post.