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Remember?
All the years we spent together...the winters, the summers...
"You won't forget me, right?" Mafumafu begged.
The tall, dark-haired man swallowed, looking anywhere but Mafumafu's dimmed red eyes. Dimmed because of him. Tears pooling in them because of him.
He had created his own monstrosity, and now couldn't bear to see the results of it.
"Mafu, just forget about me," he whispered, his voice cracking. "You know it wasn't actually love. I couldn't even bring myself to tell you...that it..."
I wished it wasn't actually love.
It shouldn't have been love.
I begged you not to make it love...
And yet I was the one who did.
"I'm sorry, Mafu," Soraru said.
The same place where we first met, all those years ago.
The same flowers, dewy atop our heads. The same forest, the same sun shining through its trees.
Everything is the same...yet nothing is the same.
Mafumafu took a shuddering breath. His lips quivered, his body trembled. Despite the clear signs of his misery, he managed a smile.
"At least," he said, tears rolling down his face. "At least...will you comfort me one last time, before you go?"
Was our time spent all just a huge mistake to you?
The times we danced in the falling leaves?
The times I couldn't help but admire your twinkling blue eyes that matched that of the ocean so beautifully?
The times I laughed at your disoriented expression when you woke up in the winter?
And the times we admired sakura together...
The same sakura that's falling down as we say farewell.
"Mafu," Soraru said, arranging his expression so that none of his regret, none of his biased emotions would leak through. All he wanted was to end this quickly before he caused his lover any more pain. "I know this is all my fault. I'm the one who broke the promise I made you swear to keep. You would have been better off without me...so I'm cutting you off so you don't have to, before you become too attached to me, too addicted to this lovely thing called romance that you know I can never give you. Go with someone else, become infatuated with them, lead a happy romance story with them instead of me. Please understand that this is for the best of both you and--"
"Stop," Mafumafu said. "Is that how you--is that how you comfort someone when they're crying?" He looked up at his old friend. "You, who sings so much about romance, claim that you could never give it to me? Don't you at least know after pretending to express it in your songs what it really is? Soraru-san...you really are a hopeless idiot, aren't you?"
The white-haired young man turned away, tears still falling. "When you've figured it out...give me a call, would you?"
Soraru watched as all of his favorite memories, the man who was practically his second voice, disappeared with just a few words ringing in his head.
[ Please, never fall in love with me ]
[ Ah...how do I explain this? ]
[ I don't understand, Soraru-san ]
I pleaded with fate to save us from a language barrier formed by this strange romance thing that I wasn't sure how to give you, Soraru whispered to himself internally. I begged for a way to make it work...I didn't want you to waste your life on me.
[ Go with someone else ]
[ Become infatuated with them ]
[ Lead a happy romance story with them ]
[ With them ]
With them.
Why...
Why did he feel somewhat sickened at the fact that Mafumafu might move on?
Wasn't that what he wanted for him?
His heart jumped when the white-haired boy stopped. "Final words of affirmation that all ties had been cut between the two, perhaps," he wanted to hope, but he knew the real wish beneath his façade--
Words that might convince me to stay.
"Soraru-san," Mafumafu said, his voice barely audible. "I swear...I won't ever meet anyone as wonderful, and as kind, and as loving as you have been to me. I won't ever forget you, really. So don't...at the very least, please keep me in your thoughts. Because I'm sure..." He tried at a broken smile. "I'm sure if you keep thinking about me, you could begin to love me again. If you keep thinking of our love, maybe you'll find it in yourself to search for me."
Soraru choked. His emotions blocked his airways, unable to muster up the courage to say anything back.
"So please, I beg of you, Soraru-san..."
Keep my love in your heart
Even if you never see me again
Even if you don't recognize my face one day
Remember this sliver of romance that I shared with you as we said our goodbyes
[ Because things don't end so easily ]
[ From season to season ]
[ Forever and ever ]
[ I'm sure we'll meet over and over again ]
[ Because bonds made by fate will only regenerate each time they are broken ]