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Being the embodiment of Lust, Asmodeus had seen his fair share of weird shit. Weird kinks, weird creeps, weird sex positions - you name it, he's probably had experience with it.
Never in his entire existence, however, had he seen something quite like what he was currently looking at. And in his own kitchen, no less.
He had just stepped through the door of his not-so-tiny penthouse above the palace and was greeted to the sound of Fizzarolli shouting curses and the smell of burnt something, he couldn't tell what it was. Fearing a fire had somehow started while he was away, Asmodeus rushed into the kitchen only to find…
Fizzarolli, crouching on top of a chair behind the kitchen island, facing a smoking stove that was coated in a white fluffy substance. One hand was extended towards the stove and holding a fire extinguisher, his arm twisted so that he could pull the lever and aim the nozzle one-limbed. The other was grasping the back of the chair, using it as a shield against the stove. It was also holding a wooden spoon that was charred black on the bottom. Beneath the white fluff, which Ozzie had now gathered was from the fire extinguisher, was a pot that was producing faint traces of black smoke. There were uncooked spaghetti noodles all over the floor and random cooking ingredients strewn all across the countertops. There was everything from butter to tomato sauce to an array of spices and herbs, but the majority of it all was either spilled on the counter, on the floor with the noodles, or on Fizzarolli. He thought he could see pieces of eggshells on the jester's hat as well as random bits of what he assumed was flour and sauce and Satan knows what else all over his clothes and face. When Ozzie had entered the room, Fizz immediately stopped yelling and stared at him like a child that just got caught drawing on the walls. Neither of them said a word, they'd just stared at each other.
Then, Fizz spoke.
“Uh… surprise?”
He flashed a nervous, toothy smile up at Ozzie. Ozzie blinked, trying to comprehend what he was looking at. After a moment, he was able to start talking.
“What in the Seven Rings of Hell happened here?!” Ozzie shouted. It wasn't an angry shout, it was more of a mix of confusion and worry. He didn't think he could be angry at his little Fizzy Frog even if he'd wanted to be.
Fizz chuckled nervously, setting the fire extinguisher on the counter and retracting his arm into a normal position. “I uh… wanted to surprise you with dinner tonight, but then… well, this happened.”
He gestured towards the disaster of a kitchen with his free hand. “Who knew cooking could be this messy, huh?” He joked.
“It's not supposed to be this messy, Babe! What did you even do?!”
“I was trying to cook us a nice romantic spaghetti dinner because you're usually the one making stuff and I wanted to give you a break for once, but then… I dunno, shit just went sideways!” Fizz explained. He pouted, looking longingly at the mess that was apparently supposed to be dinner. “I didn't even get to put the noodles into the pot before it started burning…”
Ozzie paused. “Wait wait wait, Babe, hold on - you didn't even put anything in that pot yet? It was just water?”
“Uh, no, it was water and the tomato sauce that I spent forever making. That's what you boil the noodles in, right?”
He cupped his head in his hand and set his elbow on the counter, furrowing his brow. “Or do you just microwave the noodles or some shit? I can't remember, I really shoulda looked this up before I started mixing.”
Ozzie stared at his partner in disbelief. “You-“
He had to pause to inhale deeply. “How did you manage to fuck up noodles this badly?!”
“I don't know! I was really trying, too!” Fizz said with a frown. He slammed the burnt wooden spoon onto the counter and began wildly gesturing with his hands.
“One second, I'm turning my back on the stove to grab more butter, the next, BAM! It's up in smoke!”
He slumped into the chair, allowing his limbs to go limp at his sides while he absently kicked his feet through the air. “I don't know what I did wrong, I tried to do it all from scratch like how you do it! You always cook like a pro chef, but I know you had a long day today and I wanted to help out, but…”
He glanced back at the chaos that had become the kitchen. “All I did was just learn that I'm shit at cooking.”
Ozzie sighed deeply, then smiled gently. “Oh, Fizzy. That's so thoughtful of you.”
He leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on Fizz's forehead, one of the few places he could actually feel Ozzie's kisses. “You're a real sweetheart, you know that?”
Fizz tilted his head in confusion. “But I completely fucked it, Oz. There's nothing here but a big mess. Why're you still happy?”
Ozzie chuckled. “It's the fact that you wanted to make something for me, Babe. You wanted to help me out, and I appreciate that more than you know.”
He gently rubbed Fizz's head with his hand. “You may not be competing against Jeffery Dahmer anytime soon, but you've got heart. That's one of the many things I love about you, Fizzbubble.”
Fizz blushed, batting a hand at Ozzie. “Stop!” He said with a laugh.
“I mean it! You're truly one of - no, you ARE the best person I've ever met, hands down.” Ozzie said matter-of-factly.
“Even though I destroyed your kitchen?” Fizz said, making those big puppy dog eyes that Ozzie had fallen for over and over again.
“Yes, even though you destroyed my kitchen.” He said with a smile. He nuzzled Fizz's head against his before walking towards the bedroom to change and finally unwind. Fizz watched him with hearts practically in his eyes, so happy that he'd met someone who loved him so deeply, no matter if he was the best or the absolute worst at something.
“You're gonna be cleaning all of that up, by the way.”
“Aw, c'mon! You can't just butter me up like that and then tell me to do something shitty!” Fizz whined, crossing his arms.
“I'll let you choose where we order takeout from if you do!~”
“…Fine.”