Chapter Text
Reimu didn't know when or how it started, but the youkai in Gensokyo were getting along really well. All their petty grievances were solved through spell cards or silent agreements to not get in each other's way. Some groups even formed unlikely alliances and kept things in check.
It was the most peaceful Gensokyo has ever been and there weren't any incidents for Reimu to solve anymore. Neither Marisa nor Yukari visited to pester her about some new youkai causing problems anymore, they only visited to hang out with her and drink tea.
Between coming up with more ways to accumulate faith and keeping the shrine clean, there wasn't much else that she could spend her time with.
Somehow this all caused Reimu to grow more and more restless. She was used to getting death threats from whoever crossed her path, but not whatever that was happening right now. She couldn't sleep properly, food didn't taste as good as it used to, everything was so quiet and peaceful that it became almost painful for her.
Sure, Marisa and the fairies would often challenge her and it did bring her some sense of familiarity and comfort, but it was never enough. Marisa would eventually go back home and the fairies would go pull a prank on some unsuspecting humans. And the peace would continue.
Gensokyo was changing and Reimu didn't know where she'd fit in now. The Hakurei shrine maiden title used to mean something. She solved all the incidents and kept the peace between humans and youkai, but with everyone keeping the peace amongst themselves and getting along—did her role even matter anymore?
To put it plainly, Reimu felt useless. She was suddenly in a world that no longer needed her.
One particular morning she was getting very restless, her eyes were stinging and if her calculations were correct she had been awake for about 25 hours now, she felt so miserable.
She kind of wished that another incident would occur and finally make herself useful again, but the thought didn't last long as guilt immediately overtook her. Things were finally peaceful and she was wishing for there to be chaos? She felt like a horrible person.
In her own tired and delusional state she could only think about visiting someone, anyone, just to have something to do. It may have not been the best idea, but at that point she was operating solely on instincts.
As soon as Reimu stepped outside the shrine, she noticed that the cherry trees were blooming. It made her feel slightly anxious since she hadn't been outside the shrine enough to notice the changing seasons. The world was moving but she stayed where she was, in the same spot. She tried to shrug off those anxieties but they kept lingering in the back of her mind.
She walked over to Aunn who was napping under one of the cherry trees and gave her a light pat on her head. She stirred a little in her sleep but a gentle smile appeared on her face. "I'll be back soon." Reimu whispered to the tiny komainu.
After a couple of moments she finally took off and headed to the forest of magic. She figured that Marisa would either be pestering Alice or researching some new spells using the books she 'borrowed' from the scarlet devil mansion's library.
The latter seemed to be true. As Reimu landed in front of Marisa's house, she saw the girl through the dusty window, hunched over her desk, concentrating as she flipped through multiple books.
Reimu gently knocked on the door and heard some things clattering and thudding before Marisa cracked the door open. She looked hesitant at first but as soon she realized Reimu was the one at her door, her eyes widened and her jaw slacked.
"Reimu? I thought Sakuya came to take back the books I borrowed, but seein' you here is a surprise! you almost never visit!" Marisa relaxed and gave Reimu one of her toothy grins "Didja miss me or somethin'?" She stepped aside to let Reimu in.
"You've got to stop stealing their books, Marisa." Reimu let out a sigh and stepped inside. The house was just as she remembered it; messy, cluttered, filled with a distinct smell of old books and various herbs and mushrooms she kept around for research purposes. It made her feel nostalgic.
The short Magician shook her head with a prideful look on her face "I didn't steal 'em I borrowed 'em!" she corrected and closed the door behind Reimu. "Besides, I always return 'em, don't I?" They've had this conversation many times and Reimu knew that it won't lead anywhere so she dropped it and sat down on a couch. It was surprisingly the only surface not covered in random books and trinkets.
As soon as Marisa sat down next to her, her eyebrows furrowed as she noticed the state Reimu was in "Woah girl, you look terrible, you sleepin' okay?"
Reimu pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes in annoyance "Gee, thanks Marisa, I think you look lovely too" she replied sarcastically.
"Come on now~ I'm just worried!" Marisa frowned but it was quickly replaced with a smile as she seemed to remember something "Hey, I got this new tea! It makes you all relaxed 'n stuff, let me go brew some" and with that she got up and went to the supposed kitchen in her house.
Reimu just wanted to have a proper conversation with Marisa, but the short magician kept moving around the house and messing with various items that Reimu didn’t know the purpose of.
The Magician used her mini-hakkero as a makeshift stove to boil the tea for the both of them "So? You still haven't told me why you're here" she called out from the kitchen "I mean don't get me wrong, love it when you visit 'n all that. But I'm curious!"
The shrine maiden wasn't sure how she should answer this question 'I felt so bored and empty that I had to get out of the shrine'? 'I have forgotten what happiness feels like so I visited one of my few friends'? Neither felt like the correct answer so she simply said "I just felt like it" and Marisa appeared satisfied with that answer.
She came back with two cups of steaming tea, she handed Reimu one of them and started blowing on the tea in her own cup. The heat from the cup was spreading to her hands and it was strangely comforting.
Once Marisa sat down she began talking about some of her latest research with Alice, her voice was brimming with so much enthusiasm, it seemed that she'd been busy. But all Reimu could focus on was how Marisa would often rub her shoulder and groan a little, so obviously, she asked about it.
"What's wrong with your shoulder?"
"Oh it's nothin' " she gave a dismissive wave "Just a little sore from the previous incident."
The mention of incidents made Reimu flinch. "Incident…?" she was hoping—No, praying, that Marisa was talking about the last incident they solved together, but that one was many months ago.
"Ah right!" The magician snapped her finger as she remembered something. "It happened about a couple of weeks ago," she smiled as she took another sip of her tea "Don't worry, me and Sanae took care of it," she continued.
Reimu's blood ran cold, it felt as if she got thrown into a freezing lake and was left there to fend for herself. There was an incident recently, and they didn't tell her about it. How could they do that to her?
"But… you didn't tell me about any of this?" She spoke rather defensively and furrowed her brows "And Yukari didn't tell me anything either!" she complained.
"I mean it wasn't the same without you, but you deserved a rest so… we told Yukari to keep it a secret from you too!"
"Of course, it wasn't the same without me…" Reimu spoke rather pridefully, making Marisa chuckle. But despite her words, she began doubting whether they even needed her at all.
"Don't worry! Me and Sanae are pretty good at this, you don't have to solve every incident, you know?" Marisa's words were supposed to be reassuring but it only rubbed salt in her wounds.
Reimu's shoulders slumped and she felt a bitter taste in her mouth. She should've been happy that her friends cared for her, but in that moment it only felt like she was being betrayed. As if her closest friends were rendering her useless, doing the only job that Reimu had trained for since birth, taking the only role she had in Gensokyo.
A small amount of time passed where neither of them spoke, Reimu wasn't drinking the tea, only staring at her reflection in the cup. Marisa was getting a bit uncomfortable with the overbearing silence, so she decided to ask Reimu about something she had previously discussed with Alice.
"Um, you know me and Alice wanted to ask you if—" The magician's voice got cut off as Reimu placed her cup on a nearby surface, untouched. She tried to act like everything was fine but she was clearly very shaken up about the whole thing.
"Sorry Marisa, I remembered I had something to do back at the shrine" she made a flimsy excuse as she got up and walked to the door.
"Huh, you're leaving? But you haven't even drunk your tea yet!" Marisa got up and followed behind her, the sudden shift in the shrine maiden's behavior was making her concerned "...Is everything okay Reimu?" she asked softly.
Reimu had her back to Marisa, she couldn't face her right now. "I'm okay, I just have to go back to the shrine. Thank you for your hospitality, Goodbye" She tried to keep her voice steady but it would waver and start shaking.
Before Marisa could ask her to stay a little longer the shrine maiden had already walked out the door and flew away.
On her flight back to the shrine, Reimu felt the tears of frustration rolling down her cheeks and she quickly wiped them off with the back of her sleeve. She tried to convince herself that it was just the wind, that she didn't feel so strongly about being left out, that she wasn't unneeded.
None of those excuses worked.
Reimu landed on the shrine grounds and her knees gave out immediately. She didn't have any energy anymore. She kneeled there for a moment as she choked back her sobs, the air escaped her lungs. she could only cover her mouth with the back of her hand in hopes of muffling the sounds. It was stupid, all of that was stupid and childish, but she couldn't help it, the wound in her soul left her empty and broken.
She was already tired and anxious about everything changing around her, but this was the last straw and it truly broke her. Whether unknowingly or not, her dearest friends finally proved Reimu's deepest worries. The world was moving on and leaving her behind.
She tried to compose herself otherwise a nosy yokai or some fairy might have heard her and started telling others that the Hakurei shrine maiden was crying on the floor. Showing so much weakness was unacceptable…but did it even matter what people thought about her anymore? Wasn't she completely useless now? Marisa and Sanae solved an incident on their own; there was no need for a shrine maiden like Reimu anymore.