Chapter Text
Alex called all day, everyday, for a week after Henry left the lake house. Each time Henry wished it would be the last; that Alex would take the hint, and let it go. Each time there was another call.
Until there wasn’t.
The first day Henry had been so busy he didn’t register that a whole day had gone without a single call or text, until he was laying in bed scrolling through the many notifications on his phone; not one was from Alex.
One day turned to two, then another week had gone by. A week of no desperate texts. A week of no back to back calls. A week of no pleading emails. Nothing.
And… damn , it kind of stings.
It shouldn’t and he knows that. This is what he wanted. This is for the best. Maybe now they can both get back to their lives. He can go back to his normal — miserable — routine of playing pretend. Alex will find someone else who can be public about their feelings towards him, and he’ll be happy like he deserves. Still, he scrolls once more through all the missed calls and texts he always forgets to clear from his phone — some spam, some from Bea, some from Philip, some Shaan, some Percy, even a couple from Nora — and once again finds them completely bare of Alex.
He lets himself cry. He’s allowed that much. Then he dries his eyes and deletes Alex’s number from his phone.
~
It’s been three weeks since he left Alex asleep in Texas, and the ache in his chest has yet to go away.
He tells himself it’s just going to take time. Reminds himself repeatedly why this is for the best. Allows his grandfather to set him up with some new girl he’s sure Henry will fancy. He even considers giving Grindr another try; he gets sick to his stomach at the thought of being with another guy that’s not the man he has been in love with for years the moment he downloads the app, so he instantly deletes it.
“I feel like I’m going insane, Bea…” he cries to his sister when she comes to check on him after he skips yet another meal.
Bea gives him a sympathetic look, she climbs onto his bed beside him and takes his hand. “Maybe you should call him,” she suggests.
“I- no… No, that's not fair to him,” Henry sighs, and wipes his eyes with his already tear soaked sleeve.
“Then can you at least eat something? You’re worrying me, and Pez, too. It’s only a matter of time before he goes against your wishes and tells Nora you’re spiraling; then she tells Alex, and who knows what he might do with that information.” Henry has a ridiculous image of Alex storming the castle, fully suited in shining armor, he almost laughs at it.
“What’ve we got?”
“Beef Wellington…” Henry pulls a face that makes Bea giggle. “Or we could order something,” she says, pulling out her phone. They settle on pizza and a movie, and for a few hours Henry feels a little less broken-hearted.
It’s short lived, however as not long after they eat he gets a text from Percy saying he just landed from his visit with Nora. There’s that ache that is shaped an awful lot like a certain Texan across the pond, shooting bolts of regret throughout his whole body like Yosemite Sam.
At first he declines meeting up, says he was just about to go to bed (as if his insomnia isn’t back in full force). Percy presses and Bea helps, so finally Henry agrees. There’s awkward silence after they all greet one another, with the obvious unspoken question dangling in the air between them. “Oh if you’re going to be a chicken,” Bea says, rolling her eyes at Henry. “How’s Alex? Did you see him?”
“I- well… ” Percy picks at the paper on his beer bottle, avoiding Henry’s eyes.
“ Pez ,” Henry finally says, now worried about what Percy is implying. “Is he alright?”
“I mean— Nora says he’s fine, it’s just she hasn’t really seen him much since—”
“ What ?!” Henry gasps. “A- A- And that's not concerning at all? Where is he?”
“Hen…” Bea tries, but Henry has already delved into panic mode. “I’m sure he needs space, like you have...”
Logic isn’t what Henry needs right now, he needs to know Alex isn’t spiraling like he is. He needs to know he made the right decision and the feeling in his gut that he hasn’t is just his own selfish desire to string Alex along in a dead end relationship just because he wants him so badly. He — fuck — he honestly just needs to hear his voice… even if it’s just it yelling at him. He has his phone out and is trying his damndest to remember Alex’s number. “What is it?” He snaps towards Percy and Bea. Both look at him, confused. “His number! Give me his number!”
They look at each other, as if wondering if they really should or not. Henry glares at them ready to fight them both for their phones if need be. Finally Percy relents, pulls his phone out and finds Alex’s number. Henry punches the digits into his keypad with shaky fingers, and hits send. He turns his back to Percy and Bea and holds the phone to his ear, unsure of what he’s even going to say; unsure if Alex would even pick up. He shouldn’t be surprised if he has Henry’s number blocked by now.
There’s a little tune, then static and the operator voice saying the number is no longer in service.
Henry looks at his phone. He checks, then rechecks that the number is right, and calls again. Same message. He convinces Percy to try, then has Bea try as well. Same message. “Call Nora,” Henry says to Percy, then begs when he tries to convince him not to do it.
“Henry, you need to realize you broke things off with her best mate, and then ghosted him. You're not exactly her favorite person right now.”
“I don’t care!” Henry cries, almost frantic. “She can hate me all she wants as long as I know Alex is alright.”
Percy groans, but opens his phone and calls Nora. “ Hey ,” Nora’s voice says through the phone.
“Hey love…” Percy replies. “Listen… I- er- well I have Henry here… and he—”
“Percy… we talked about this,” Nora says flatly.
“I- I know… I know… it’s just he tried calling and it says the number doesn’t work, and—”
“So he decides to finally get up with him, almost a month after he just disappears… and he’s shocked that Alex has changed his number so he can’t contact him?!” She laughs angrily. “Is this a joke?”
“Nora…” Henry says, suddenly at a loss for what else to say. “I know I owe him an explanation… I just— I won’t try to contact him, just tell me he’s alright.” There’s silence; enough that Percy taps his screen to be sure Nora hasn’t ended the call. “Please,” Henry adds when they see she hasn’t.
Nora inhales deep, and sighs it back out. “He’s fine, Henry. His heart is completely broken, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this upset over someone, but he’s— he’s fine.”
It feels like Henry has a wad of cotton shoved into his mouth. He tries to speak but nothing comes out other than a choked off sob. He wants to beg her to tell him he’s sorry. That he feels like a fool and wishes he could go back to that night and do it differently. If nothing else he could do it better; do it right. Even if it means nothing now, he would at least know why.
Henry feels a hand on his arm; Bea’s hand.
“Thank you, love.” Percy says; Nora ends the call.
~
The rest of the night feels like a blur until he arrives back at Kensington Palace and his phone vibrating in his pocket partially pulls him out of the daze he’s in. He doesn’t even bother to check who it is, he just hits the button to send it to voicemail, and places it on the bedside table. It goes off repeatedly throughout the night, but Henry feels so numb he couldn’t reach out to answer it even if he wanted to.
The next morning, when he finally musters the energy to lift his head off his pillow — he hasn’t slept, he doesn’t think he ever will again — he glances at his phone. He can’t remember when the calls finally stopped coming in, but before he can even check how many missed calls he has, his phone starts ringing. “H- Hello?”
“ You entitled, smug, rich white boy, rude… douchebag… jerk!” Nora screams into his ear loud enough he has to hold it away to avoid a ruptured eardrum. “How dare you have the actual audacity to call asking me about Alex, then when I call to give you the truth, you don’t answer!? ”
“I- I’m sorry… the truth?” Henry questions.
At first Nora doesn’t speak. Then she sighs. “Yes. The truth.” Henry waits for more, wonders if she will tell him now, feels like he doesn’t deserve it. “I lied… last night.”
“A- About?”
“What do you think?! About Alex!”
Henry’s heart drops all the way to his feet. He can’t think of a single thing to say now. He isn’t sure what he would have even said had she told him this last night. “Oh,” is the only thing he is able to conjure up.
“ Oh ,” Nora repeats sarcastically.
“I’m sorry,” Henry sighs. “I don’t know what to say, I thought I was making the right choice…”
“Well you weren’t! He was crushed… and he was going to fly to London and confront you—”
“He what ?”
“He was going to pour his heart out for you, and if it didn’t work then he would accept it was over,” Nora continues explaining. “But he just changed his mind… he was halfway to the plane… and just didn’t go through with it.”
“Maybe he realized it wasn’t worth the trouble…”
He almost laughs at the snort that gets him from Nora. “You really haven’t learned a thing about Alex this past year, have you?” Henry isn’t sure what to say to that. “Let me give you a little lesson on the man who is hopelessly and ridiculously in love with you; when he cares, really cares about someone he will do damn near anything for them. All you have to do is ask. That includes waiting for them to build up the courage to come out to their overbearing homophobic family.”
“And if that courage is never built?” Henry says, tears filling his eyes and flowing over his cheeks. “Or courage isn’t enough and they are forbidden from being together anyway?”
“Well it’s not like he was given an alternate option anyway, is it?”
“That’s not fair.”
“You’re right, it wasn’t.”
Henry sighs. He’s exhausted, emotionally drained, confused. “Why are you even calling me Nora…” he asks. “If Alex has moved on—”
“Oh my god! Are you listening to me?!”
“I'm trying !” He cries.
“He hasn’t moved on, Henry… something is up!”
“Up?”
“Yes, up! Alex wouldn’t have just changed his mind. He wouldn’t have given you up without a fight. He loves you!”
And for a second time his heart completely falls to the floor. He knew it already, of course. That Alex had fallen in love with him. He’s not sure what he was thinking in the year they had spent together; did he really think Alex wouldn’t start falling in love. All Henry has done this year was pour love out for him like an endless flowing fountain, and Alex drank it in like a man parched his entire life; then he turns around and dares return the favor and Henry flees.
“Henry?!” Nora screams into the phone.
“I- I’m here… I’m sorry… I— what do I do!”
“Get your ass here and fix this!”
That part was a given as Henry was already out the door.
~
Eight more hours of no sleep, but Henry’s adrenaline is so high he will probably last (at least) another couple hours before his brain involuntarily shuts itself down.
Henry goes over what exactly he plans on saying; never in his wildest dreams did he imagine he’d be storming the White House, to beg forgiveness from the man he loves and foolishly pushed away. Nora meets him there; she has informed Amy and the other PPO Henry was coming. There is tension from them all as he enters the property, but it’s understandable; he suspects Shaan wouldn’t have been the friendliest to Alex had he shown up at the palace in the middle of the night soaking wet from an unfortunately (or rather poetically) timed downpour.
The cold air inside the White House doesn’t help with his now drenched clothes; but whether or not there’s any truth behind getting pneumonia from getting cold while also being wet is the furthest concern from his mind as he gets closer to Alex’s room.
And then he’s there.
Standing outside a door he knocked on nearly a year earlier; jump starting this entire rollercoaster of a journey.
He lifts his hand… he brings it down. One knock, then another. There’s movement inside, footsteps. The knob turns. The door cracks, there’s a gasp from inside, then it opens a bit more and a hand reaches out and grabs him, pulling him inside.
And then he’s there. Alexander Gabriel Claremont-Diaz, in the flesh. Almost quite literally actually as Henry’s brain finally catches up and realizes Alex isn’t wearing anything more than a small, tight, extremely revealing (in the best ways unfortunately) pair of boxers. Henry is staring. He can’t help it. Even though he has the will power to easily pry his eyes from Alex’s crotch, looking at his face is no better. Had he really forgotten how flawless Alex’s face is? The curve of his lips, his jawline, his eye fucking eyelashes.
What did you do , he internally screams.
He’s still staring. To be fair, Alex is staring back. “C- Can we please talk…” Henry finally manages.
“T- talk?!” Alex all but screams. “ Now you want to—”
“Alex?” A voice calls from Alex’s desk, coming out of his open laptop.
Alex mouths fuck, his hands frantically flying up into his tousled curls. Henry is about to ask what’s wrong, Alex glares at him and mouths shut up , Henry obeys. He takes a deep breath and plasters on the fakest smile before walking back over to his laptop.
“ ¿Qué está sucediendo? ” Henry hears a voice — that sounds alarmingly familiar, he’s just too sleep deprived to figure it out — ask.
“Uh…” Alex picks at the skin on his fingers. He’s nervous, extremely nervous; Henry wonders why. “ No es nada … uh-” He looks back up at Henry, there’s something deeper than just nervousness behind his eyes, there’s fear. It’s making Henry’s blood boil in a way he’s never felt before. He wants to question it, but Alex keeps glancing at him, pleading with his eyes; his head gives the slightest shake. Henry remains silent where he is. “I- It’s late, I’ll see you tomorrow Miguel.”
He knew the voice was familiar.
Miguel tuts. “Oh come on … apenas empezábamos a divertirnos …” Henry can’t help it when his brow furrows angrily at that; Alex looks back at him surprised.
Then he smiles that fake smile down at his screen, “I’m tired… lo haremos de nuevo …” he says. “Maybe in person…” he adds, smirking at the screen suggestively. Henry’s stomach turns, he may have an idea of what he just interrupted. Henry hears the video chat disconnect. Alex closes his laptop, and is back across the room in Henry’s face. “What the hell are you doing here!?”
“I- I…” What was he going to say? He had something he was going to say! But it all went out the window the moment he was pulled into Alex’s room.
“You…” Alex’s voice breaks off, like he can’t bring himself to speak. He blinks repeatedly, as if he’s trying— no he is blinking back tears; Henry sees them when Alex turns his eyes up to the ceiling. He did that. He caused those tears. He’s reaching out to touch Alex’s cheek before he can even take a moment to think through whether he should. Alex is quick to swat his hand away, and damn, that stings. Alex’s phone rings, breaking them both out of the intense moment. He ignores it. “You need to leave.” His voice is cold… it’s broken… but it’s serious.
“Alex… please,” Henry says softly, he has to try… he can’t walk out of this room unless he’s sure Alex really wants him to. His phone rings again. He looks over at it and his entire demeanor shifts.
“No.” Henry’s heart falls. Alex stiffens every muscle in his body. He absolutely glares at Henry, and it’s actually kind of intimidating. “I- I moved on. That’s what you wanted, right? So you could stay in your tower and protect your heart. You ended it; ended us. So… I moved on.”
“Oh…” Henry drops his eyes to the floor. He can’t look Alex in the eye right now, because he feels like he’s going to cry, and the last thing he wants is for Alex to feel guilty for saying something he had every right to say. “I- I see…” He backs up towards the door, and reaches behind him to open it. “I’m so sorry Alex.” He says, then steps out into the hall.
Alex follows him, grabbing the door before he can pull it shut. Henry finally looks up and through the flood of tears in his eyes, he can see Alex’s are just as full. He takes a deep, shaky breath. His tears pour over as he mutters an almost illegible, “So am I,” before pushing the door shut. Henry hears the lock turn over and then the weight of Alex’s body thuds against it.
Henry touches the door just as a sob can be heard from the other side. He rests his forehead against the wood. Every fiber in his body wants to beat the door down; claw through it if he must. His heart breaks as he listens to Alex cry, but he’s so unsure if begging him to let him in would only make it worse.
Alex’s phone rings. He hears him move away from the door. He sniffles and clears his throat. “Hey Miguel…” he says, managing to sound normal. “I- I’m fine, I was… talking to my mom.” A pause for Miguel to respond. Alex scoffs, “ No you can not know what it was about… not part of the deal, remember.” He laughs; it’s fake and forced and… Henry can’t help but wonder what he means by not part of the deal .