Chapter Text
Percy Jackson stood in the throne room at Mt. Olympus, in the presence of all the Olympians. He had just declined immortality, and in exchange, the Olympians had promise to fulfill whatever he wished for so long as it was within their power. They had to, for they had sworn on the River Styx, and the goddess Styx was not fond of oathbreakers, and Percy had been clear: the gods would now recognize all their children, and not just the children of the Olympians, but of Hades and the minor gods as well."
"Hmph..." Zeus harumphed. "Being told what to do by a mere child. But I suppose..."
"All in favor?" Hermes said.
The gods raised their hands and-
WAIT WAIT WAIT!
The gods looked down to see Percy wildly waving his arms.
"Wait!" he cried." I just want to add one more thing!"
The Olympians began muttering amongst themselves. Only Athena gave Percy any consideration.
"And what would that be child?" she asked.
"You!" Percy cried aloud as he pointed at Zeus.
"Me?" Zeus was so surprised, he forgot to be offended by Percy's brashness.
"Yeah, you!" Percy replied. "You can't rape women anymore!"
The throne room went silent. Annabeth, Grover, and Thalia gaped at Percy.
"What did you just say?" Zeus said menacingly.
"No raping women!" Percy insisted. "Or uh, men, or just anyone for that matter....or anything...not that I think you rape inanimate objects, I'm just...you know...trying not to leave any space for loopholes."
"This is absurd!" Zeus cried. He looked to the other gods for approval, but nobody met his eye.
"You did say you would do it as long as it was within your power," Hades said. "And this is within your power is it not brother?"
"Why you-" Zeus started to say, then realized he was making a scene. "Why...yes of course it's within my power. In fact, more than that, it's not just within my power, it would actually be incredibly easy for me, since I am a very sexually upstanding individual."
Poseidon coughed. Zeus kicked his leg.
"And since I did swear on the River Styx, very well Percy Jackson, I will grant you this request...which again, is barely a request, since I'm a very noble god. But the point is, I agree. All in favor?"
The other Olympians raised their hands. As they did so, Annabeth whispered something in Percy's ear.
WAIT WAIT WAIT!
The gods stopped again.
"What is it now?" Zeus groaned.
"They have to give explicit consent!" Percy cried.
"I'm sorry?"
"For it to not count as rape, they have to give explicit consent" he repeated, then his face wrinkled like he forgot something. "Er, wait....enthusiastic explicit consent."
He looked back at Annabeth to make sure he had it right. She flashed him an approving thumb's up.
"Enthusiastic explicit consent?" Zeus asked incredulously.
"Yes," Percy confirmed. "It means-"
"I know what it means!" the king of the Olympians bellowed. He noticed Poseidon and Athena giving him funny looks. "What? I do!" he snapped.
"But uh...for the sake of those who don't know, perhaps you could explain it?"
"Sure," Percy replied. "It means they have to give a concrete yes, and they have to be really into it, you can't coerce it out of them...oh and I guess you can't turn into a bird or something."
"What?!" Zeus cried.
"Well actually..., Percy said thinking, "Now that I think about it, I think it's ok for you to turn into a bird, you just have to tell them who you really are. So I guess it's not the bird itself that's the problem, it's that they can't properly consent unless they know exactly who they're consenting to sex with."
"I agree," Athena said, nodding sagely. "The boy's reasoning is sound and his understanding of social justice issues is to be applauded."
Zeus sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I agree to all that. So are you done for reals this time?"
Percy thought about it for a second, then nodded.
"Alright," Zeus slumped back into his throne, seemingly defeated. "One last time...all in favor?"
And all the gods raised their hands in approval.