Work Text:
“...Mari?”
“Mari!?”
“Mari! Get her down, quick!”
“She’s- No… no no no, NO NO NO!!”
“Get Mari down, NOW!”
“Don’t leave me… Please…”
“No…”
Hero’s mind once again procured the agonizing, ugly sight to present to him like limbs grotesquely placed out on a plate. He couldn’t stop squirming, writhing, guts torn to millions and sewn back by the reminder of his loss. He saw it with his very eyes; a barren, rending stare that just so deeply wanted to go blind to avert themselves from the reality they’ve witnessed and wholly drown in.
Even at sleep he wasn’t at peace, if only even more in pain. There counted around the 500th day of Mari’s funeral, whereupon plaguing the once so revered figure he was with a deep-rooting grief. Losing Mari was too much, too painful, even for somebody considered as mature and strong-minded as him. The tree that once stood in his name — of simple virtue and symbolic will — was knocked down just like that.
Life hammered upon him with the ruthless reminder, akin to the swings of a sharp, heavy-headed axe. Every thought, every moment, every figment that could possibly manifest was more or less tainted by the same tone of darkness he saw in Mari’s shade. Her body swung lifelessly in the wind, not a light of vibrance to be found — the one he had seen and adored far more times than he could count. The sun that once shone upon them was only there to cast a shadow that would loom over him, perhaps forever.
It’s unknown whether it was midnight or broad daylight, but the blanket and pillow that had been chronically glued to him proves that none of that truly matters. Hero just wanted to run, flee from the torment and embrace the warmth of his dearest love. With such ardent pain, he wished his hands were once more occupied, embracing the person that is now no longer there for him.
Or… so he thought.
On a bleak, monotonous day like any other, when Hero was urged to sleep not out of volition but exhaustion.
In the vivid violet of the sky he was met with, to a world he had never woken up in before.
There she was all again, still with the same smile that had turned into daggers in his own heart.
On his left was the sight of his younger peacefully snoring, drool running in beads down his left cheek. Innocent, joyful, as always.
On a girl’s lap slept peacefully a paper-white boy, with facial features identical to that of Sunny.
But nothing could quite matter more than the person he was met with. The ghost of his past love, now suddenly reappearing as if life never took the sharp turn that bent him broken. A slight, incremental upwards shift in his visions turned his thoughts haywire.
“...Mari?” He mustered with what little voice there was left at the bottom of his throat, the fabric of his new outfit — his old pajamas — gently rubbing against his skin to further add realism.
“Hey, handsome.” She simply greeted, with an unchanging, sweet tone.
“...You’re… You’re alive…? You’re-” Hero kept interrupting himself in a snappy, shaky voice. Words were nowhere to be found, for too long he has not found uses for them.
“I’ve never been more alive than right now, what do you mean?” She lightheartedly jokes. “I’ve always been here, with you.”
As if the words weren’t enough, the tender and reaffirming palms of Mari caressed his hands. It’s a simple act, but a powerful one, enough to correct every misplaced thought in his head and snap them back to place. Of course, for but a moment.
“Are you OK?”
“I…” Hero found it hard to formulate an answer. As his breaths steadied and tears stopped blurring his eyes, he came to a more sound response, “I… I think I am… Yeah, I’m alright.
“Take some rest, Hero. Just lay down.”
Like a hypnotic command, his torso gently descended upon the checkered fabric of the picnic rug — a sensation he would soon yearn to feel once more. The skies were filled with eccentrically shaped stars, cartoonish and childish in appearance. Somehow, that only deepened his wound, urging beads of crystalline tears to roll down his cheeks.
It wasn’t real, and he knew it better than most, but Hero wished he could simply ignore that. For a moment, he deliberately buried his pain, relishing what little there was of the tranquil resolve he was being submerged in. A vivid dream, maybe? Or just whatever his mind could hold onto?
An equally subtle change in his vision — as intermittent as the blink of an eye, changed Mari’s appearance drastically. Her eyes are now of a pearl while, such was her skin now stripped of their dreamy violet and substituted by a gentle white. The ground beneath him turned to a bed of grass blades as fast as she turned ghastly.
Hero snapped upwards and frantically looked around. He was now embraced by an entire hill worth of white egret orchids and lily of the valleys, flowers he knows the meaning of too well. The sudden absence of all the elements that was enveloping him only a brief moment prior made his breath gain incredible weight, almost making him dry heave.
The dream was nearing its end, and so will his precious moments spent by Mari’s side. Soon, it will just be another burning memory, buried and suffocated by his nightmares in the thousands.
“No… No no no no…” He painfully repeated after himself, trying to find something to hold onto. Soon enough, the needed object was upon his right shoulder.
“Hero! Hey, it’s OK! I’m here!”
He turned around, eyes watery and barely receptive to the girl that was wanting to embrace him. The hug was returned with tenfold the force; he was afraid of letting go and having her vanish into mere smokes.
“It’s going to be okay, Hero. It will be.” Mari tapped on his back.
“...No.” He found the guttural, despicable strength to utter that single word. His hug loosened to the advent of his grief, the cruel awakening.
“...Hero.”
“This… this isn’t real. You’re not real. I’m not even real here! Nothing about this is real!” He slapped himself with multiple statements at once, equal parts cruelty and denial. “I know you’re gone, Mari! Stop teasing me! I- I cried for you, about y-you! Every- moment! Every day! I know you’re gone!”
With a trembly gasp for air, he indignantly pressed on.
“What did I do to deserve this!? Why, Mari!?” Both his hands now tightly grip on her slim, soft arms. “We could have been together! We could have… love each other…
…Everything could have been fine.
…Why?”
His voice gradually grew to be a shout near the end. His tears now taste bitter, as they rolled past his lips and fell to the ground. The gentle rustling of the flowers all around him only made him feel worse. The hand that was once so comfortable holding his now feels cold to the touch.
“...Hero.”
“...What?” He tried to muster up a more meaningful reply.
“It’s not your fault. You did all you could.”
“I was late. I could have… been a few minutes earlier, and things could have-”
“No… Nothing will change. We can’t go back to change what happened.” Mari peacefully untangled the mess of emotions in Hero’s mind. “I will be there every step you take, every moment you feel lost.”
“...How can I trust you? Just… another dream.” Hero bitterly denied the promise, face flooded by the deluge of his grief. He felt his cheeks being swept dry by the same hands that he had just felt on his shoulders.
“Where’s the Hero I remember…?” Mari wholeheartedly asked. “The one I know to count on, and to be safe in the hands of… Where’s the handsome guy that was the big brother of his friends?”
“He’s gone.” Two words, blunt and succinct to deliver the message across.
“Not that easily.” Mari returned with three of her own, before continuing. “I know you have the strength to break free, you’ve always done… You just need to put your heart to it… the same way you did when you loved me.”
A kiss on the lips sealed her words. Hero recalled a memory of a moment he had never experienced. As he was busy with eyes closed, his ears were suddenly enveloped in the sounds of waves crashing on the shore. He opened his eyes to see Mari slowly pulling herself away from him, to the pier that stretched to the sea.
“Grief won’t go away… but it will change. When you let go and move on — and I know you will… it will be a reminder of how much we used to love each other.” Mari healed him with her words. “But… you must let it happen. Move past what made it so difficult to change. As long as you are willing… I will be there every moment.”
In the air, there was a window: a gateway for souls like her. The breeze of the seas made the curtains flutter, and the light from behind the glass almost shimmered as they did. It was a majestic, yet symbolic view.
All the young, mature boy got to see was one last, entrusting look from his love. A phantom, echoic voice uttered to him, “I love you, Hero. Always.” Before long, she vanished into the light, back to where she once belonged.
The dream subsided and left just like the rain clouds Hero had watched washing by and leaving his neighborhood. His eyes stretched wide open to the empty, unassuming roof of his room. It was late noon when he woke up, the dying rays of daylight shining through his room and splashing upon his floor in an amber-like color. For the first time in too long, Hero noticed what time of the day it was.
The words Mari gave him lingered on, past what many people see dream as: intermittent worlds that lasts only for as long as one’s sleep. He could feel her will passing onto him, an ember to rekindle the flame he had forgotten to keep burning.
Where’s the Hero I remember…? The one I know to count on, and to be safe in the hands of… Where’s the handsome guy that was the big brother of his friends?
The echoes bounced around in his mind the same way his obsessive nightmares were. Out of distrust and wistfulness, he stared at his hands, then at the many brandished trophies he had amassed over the years. His pillow has since grown mold out of the tears he had shed upon it. With a heavy heart, he embraced the view of his room for another moment longer, much longer than normal.
With an unknown strength provided to him, the young man proceeded to change. There were others that needed him… others that he had known almost too well. With his familiar navy blue sweater on, he embraced the past of his forgotten self and felt the cold, unassuming doorknob with his palm.
Just moments before he chose to return to the world along with the town he once — and would soon — loved so dearly, the echoes of Mari’s voice reached his heart once more. Like bandages to his wounds, like a hand to soothe his aching soul.
“I love you, Hero. Always.”