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Hour 27
They all have tried to get Bad to leave hours ago. To sleep or shower or just get some fresh air. They have offered to switch places and keep watch. But he has refused everytime. He couldn't leave. He is going to wake up any time now and Bad will be here for it.
Cellbit stayed the longest. But at some point Roier managed to convince him to come home and get some sleep.
Everyone has checked up on Bad regularly. To see if he was ok and to see if anything has changed. But nothing has changed. Yet. They also brought him food and water which Bad has barely touched.
Bad has been sitting in this same chair for almost 27 hours now. Waiting.
That's when they gave Pac and Forever the antidote to whatever the federation has done to them. They weren’t sure if it would even work when they tried it on Pac and Forever. Or if it was enough. But they had no other way to save them.
Pac woke up after 3 hours. But he also hadn’t been as far gone as Forever.
Pac is the proof that it did work though. He is completely back to his old self. Still a bit tired and exhausted but he is himself. There was a lot of crying when he woke up. It wasn't easy to come back from something like this. But just an hour later Pac left the Order Theoritas with Fit. At least that's what Cellbit has told Bad with a telling smile.
Now Bad is alone at the Order. Foolish checked in on him last half an hour ago.
Bad is so tired and over the 27 hours he probably has fallen asleep multiple times for a few minutes. But never for long. There is a good chance the others will find him sleeping on the floor when they wake up in the morning.
But he will still be here right by Forever's side.
He won’t leave him alone. He just has to be here when he wakes up. After everything that has happened while he was not himself… He needs to make sure he is ok and that he is back to his old self.
He has cried out for help even in that state and Bad has been the one to find the book.
He needs to get him back.
And then there were the rose fields. His mind has been going back to that day a lot. For Bad, that day had been the worst day. And he doesn’t know how much Forever remembers about it.
It was hard enough to see Forever in this twisted state of mind at all but seeing the look on his face when he asked Bad to marry him crushed his heart. It was not Forever who was talking there. There was only emptiness in his eyes. Nothing of the man he… loves. Because he does love Forever. And maybe one day they will get married. But not like this. Not when it wasn't actually Forever talking. Not when it was the drugs talking. Not when it was just all wrong in this perfect romantic field of roses. Bad wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to look at a rose bush the same after that day.
And then there was the anger. The rage. He tried to kill Bad. But it wasn’t Forever. It was the drugs. But still seeing the hate radiating from the face he knew so well was hard and it was all directed at him.
Bad knows it wasn’t Forever but it still hurts.
He gets ripped out of his thoughts by a noise coming from Forever’s bed.
Forever is waking up.
******
Forever is slowly coming back to consciousness. Everything hurts. His body but most of all his mind.
“Forever? Forever, can you hear me?” He hears a familiar voice but it takes a second for him to recognise that it is Bad. He sounds different. Worried and hopeful and something else. Is he crying?
Forever can’t remember where he is or how he got here or why everything hurts so much. Everything is very foggy.
“Forever?” Now he can definitely hear the tears and desperation in Bad’s voice and feels a soft hand on his arm.
He wants to open his eyes so badly and it takes all his strength to finally manage to do it after a few more seconds. He looks directly into the eyes of the demon and just for a second everything is ok and the pain is gone. He can see the tears rolling down Bad’s cheeks and the relief in his eyes. Forever still doesn’t know why.
He tries to say something but his throat feels like sandpaper and all that comes out is a cough. Bad hurries to get a glass of water from the night stand and helps Forever drink some of it.
Forever realizes he is lying in a hospital bed at the Order. What happened that he ended up here? His mind is still foggy and feels like a million little sharp pieces are swirling around his mind trying to connect the right ways to reconstruct reality. He just can't quite remember.
“How are you feeling, Forever?” There is so much care and worry in Bad’s voice.
“Everything… hurts. What happened?” He gets out, testing if his voice works again.
“So you don’t remember?” Forever can’t really identify the mixed emotions on Bad’s face. He carefully shakes his head. It seems like the pain in his body is starting to settle and becomes bearable.
“What is the last thing you remember?”
Forever thinks for a moment but his mind is so scrambled that he can't even tell what his last intact memory is. What happened to fuck with his mind this badly?
“I… I don’t know…”
Forever can feel Bad’s concern grow.
“Do you know who I am?”
Forever tries a tired smile. “Of course I know who you are, Badboy.”
There is another wave of relief washing over Bad before he gets serious again.
“Do you remember the happy pills?”
And as if someone finally figured out the system, all the pieces in his mind fall into place.
All the memories come back at once. It is so much. Almost too much. He almost passes out again.
His reaction must have been visible because in the very back of his mind he hears Bad scream his name.
It's like every memory happens at the same time. The missing eggs, the plan to destroy everything, Cucurucho, the pills, the favelas, Richas made out of stone, Cellbit, Pac, everyone, the rose field, the mines...
And with the memories the feelings come back, too. The happiness that felt so wrong, the sadness, the desperation, the anger, the hopelessness, the hate…
He remembers screaming inside his own head the whole time. Screaming so loud but no one could hear him. And he couldn’t stop the words coming out of his own mouth. It makes him feel sick.
Once Forever seems to have calmed down a bit, Bad wipes away some tears from Forever's face. He hadn’t even realized he had started crying.
“It’s ok, Forever, you are back. You are back and you are not alone. I’m here.”
Bad’s grounding helps to pull him out of the memories he got lost in and brings him back to this moment.
“Richas, the eggs… Bad, I’m so sorry.” Forever sobbs.
Bad looks at Forever with so much care but Forever also sees the short moment of hurt flicker through.
“It’s not your fault, Forever. It wasn’t you. I’m just glad that we have you back.”
“I tried so hard to break out of it but I… I just couldn’t.”
“Don’t blame yourself, Forever. It wasn’t you and everyone knows that. It’s ok.”
But Forever couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t ok.
“Are you thirsty? Hungry? I can get you some food and more water and then you can rest some more. We can talk about everything tomorrow. I will tell the others that you finally woke up so they know in the morning. They are all gonna be so happy to see you back.” Bad smiles and moves to get up but Forever stops him.
“Wait, how long have I been asleep?” Forever didn’t even think about that yet. Looking at Bad it might have been a while.
“27 hours. Ever since we gave you and Pac the antidote. Pac woke up after 3 hours but he also hadn’t taken that much of the drug.”
27 hours. Holy shit, that is definitely longer than Forever expected. Forever looks critically at Bad.
“When is the last time you have slept, BadBoy?”
“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.” Bad doesn’t look fine. He looks exhausted.
“Badboy.” Forever looks at him inquisitively when he finally realizes. “Have you been here the whole time?”
Forever could swear that some red creeps up Bad’s face when he tries to look anywhere but at Forever.
“I wanted to be here when you wake up to make sure that you are ok. That you are really you. It’s no big deal.” It was barely more than a whisper.
Forever could cry again.
“BadBoy… I… Thank you. Thank you for being here. It is a big deal. At least to me. After everything I have done. After everything I have done to you … I’m so sorry, BadBoy. I’m so sorry for the other day. I never wanted to hurt you. I was screaming in my mind but I had no control. I couldn’t do anything, say anything. I felt so helpless. And when I saw the look on your face after… I asked you to marry me… I’m so sorry. That never should have happened. I never wanted it to happen like that.”
Forever says the last sentence more to himself so quiet Bad almost couldn’t hear it. Almost.
A sad smile creeps onto Bad tired face. “I’m not gonna lie. That day was really not fun. Because I knew it wasn’t you. I also never wanted for it to happen like that.”
Forever’s eyes go wide and he looks at Bad with a question mark on his face which Bad only answers with a shy smile. For once it seems like they understand each other without words and Forever smiles back. Baby steps.
“I’m actually not very hungry but I’m getting really tired again. You also look tired, BadBoy. You should also get some rest.”
“You are probably right...” The idea of going back to his empty home sounds horrible to Bad though.
“You look like you could fall asleep standing. The bed is pretty big…” Forever moves over in the hospital bed and offers the space to Bad.
Bad feels his cheeks get even warmer but he just nods and carefully gets into the bed. Forever immediately cuddles close to Bad and lays his head on Bad’s chest who puts his arm around the other men.
Things might not be ok again and the eggs are still missing but at least they are not alone in this. They will get through this. Together.
“I have missed you, Forever.” Bad whispers while already feeling the other drift to sleep. He barely gets the message out to the others that Forever woke up before he also finally relaxes and falls asleep.
******
As soon as Cellbit wakes up in the morning he sees Bad’s message and rushes over to the Order where he finds Bad and Forever sleeping soundly. Bad is holding Forever so close as if he's scared he would just disappear again. Cellbit smiles to himself and lets the two of them rest.