Archive of Our Own ^beta

“That fucking motherfucker!” is the first thing Jungkook hears when he enters their studio. Well, Yoongi’s garage , but you know, same thing.

“That’s a nice welcome” Jungkook says while he takes his guitar off the case and sits on the floor, starting to tune it because he’s already late and everybody is already there for rehearsal. Everybody except… “By the way, where is Soohyun?”

“That’s the said fucking motherfucker ” Taehyung rolls his eyes, tuning his bass. “Apparently, she left a note on Yoongi’s mailbox, saying that she had to quit our band, but she wishes us all the luck in the world.”

“Wait” this makes Jungkook forget about his guitar for now. He gets up, looking at Taehyung, who seems completely unbothered. Yoongi is talking about something with Jihae, and she seems completely pissed. It was her scream that welcomed Jungkook. “Did you just say that Soohyun, our vocalist , quitted? Our vocalist quitted when we have three confirmed gigs at three bars, one of them being the biggest in Korea?”

“That’s exactly what is happening, JK” Jihae says, smashing her drumsticks on her tight. “I’ll fucking kill her if I see her, I swear to god.”

“Did she even give a reason, or…?” 

“You don’t wanna hear that” Taehyung almost whispers, but Jungkook can hear him well.

“Yes, she did” Yoongi massages his temples, taking a deep breath. “She got back together with her ex-boyfriend, now they’re going to travel Asia in their van.”

“Do they think that they’re in a fucking American sitcom?” Jungkook groans. He officially hates Soohyun. He starts pacing around the garage. “Traveling Asia! What does that even mean?! And her ex?! That cheating scumbag?!”

Each sentence makes Jungkook angrier. He wants to cry, to scream, to break his fucking guitar on Soohyun’s head. But he can’t, because the motherfucker quitted on them. When they have three fucking gigs booked in two months!

It’s so hard for them to book those little gigs in bars and clubs, especially with the crescent on rock groups. Yoongi had to beg in so many places for them to get those tiny opportunities. Jungkook can’t start saying how mad he feels, and he hopes he never sees Soohyun again, because if he does, he will not be responsible for his own actions. How does she, knowing that she’s the vocalist , dares to abandon them with two months left for their performances?

“How can we find a new vocalist?” Taehyung sounds oddly calm but so tired when he asks. 

"We can't" it's Jungkook who answers. "We are fucked."

"We are not fucked, Jeon Jungkook!" Jihae glares at Jungkook, her eyes filled with rage. "That bitch will not ruin my dream!” moving too fast, Jihae grabs her purse and spins the drumsticks between her fingers, as quickly as she is moving. “Wait right here, I will come back with our new vocalist. Do not leave! ”

And, without another word, Jihae leaves the studio. Taehyung, Jungkook and Yoongi stop, look at each other. Jihae is… Definitely something. 

“Is she for real?” Taehyung frowns, but everyone already knows the answer.

“Oh, she is,” Yoongi nods. “If she doesn’t find us a new vocalist, her boyfriend will do it.”

“That’s nice, it’s been a while since I last saw Jimin,” Jungkook smiles and sighs, throwing himself on Taehyung’s lap, hearing a huf from Taehyung when their bodies collide. “But I do hope she finds someone. I really want these gigs to work out…”

Jungkook keeps quiet while he lets Taehyung play with his hair. Jimin is one of Jungkook’s favorite people in the world, the best person Jihae could bring to their lives. Jimin is also crazy as hell, as much as Jihae, and if there’s someone who can bring a last minute vocalist, that is Jimin.

Of course, being in a band was Jungkook’s dream. Being a famous musician is his dream. And Jungkook knows Overdose is good , fantastic. But he also knows how fucking hard it is to have a Korean rock band to become famous enough for him to make a living out of this and this only. Everybody knows that, and that’s why it’s not always easy to find people for their band.

He met Yoongi years ago, when Jungkook was hired to replace Yoongi as waiter in an Italian restaurant. Yoongi taught Jungkook everything he knows about being a waiter, and quickly became a dear friend of his. Yoongi also had a band, Overdose, that was currently lacking a lead guitarist because theirs had just moved to England. 

Enters Jungkook.

At first, Jungkook was a little bit afraid of being in a rock band. He was young, only 18, and Yoongi and his friends were probably older, mature. Turns out the band had the most different members: Yoongi, their producer and rhythm guitar. Taehyung, their eccentric bassist. Jihae, the crazy-as-hell drummer. And Soohyun, the vocalist with a powerful voice.

Having girls as vocalist and drummer was… Unexpected. New. Jungkook never heard about a famous band that had a girl as vocalist. The Beatles, The Doors, Pink Floyd all were bands with all male members. It almost made Jungkook quit at first, but after hearing how good they were, Jungkook ended up staying with Overdose, with people that turned out becoming his best friends.

And there’s where he’s now.

Once again, feeling like maybe this was not his best idea, because now they have three gigs scheduled in two months. And no vocalist.

“What if you sing instead?” Taehyung asks when he gets tired of playing with Jungkook’s hair (and that doesn’t happen before Taehyung makes two little braids).

“No way” Jungkook quickly denies. “You know that my focus is guitar. And also, I’m already back vocal.” 

Jungkook is very much aware that he could be the lead singer, he has a good enough voice; but he also knows that he wouldn’t have as much fun as he does when he’s just worried about playing the guitar, jumping from one side of the stage to the other, crushing his guitar solo and making the audience scream and cheer, filling Jungkook with so much adrenaline and passion.

Jungkook likes to sing, but he loves to be a guitarist.

It’s almost three hours later, when Yoongi claims to have written a new song, that the studio door is opened and Jihae, Jimin and a guy that none of them knows enter the garage.

“Hello, Overdose!” Jihae screams, the biggest smile on her face, as he holds the new guy’s arm and brings him closer, showing him up. “This is Hoseok, our new vocalist!”

Taehyung, Jungkook and Yoongi are completely silent. Jungkook only blinks, looking at this new guy.

This Hoseok guy is… Different.

For a man, he’s very attractive, Jungkook won’t deny it. But, also, for a man, Hoseok is not very… manly. He's wearing dark mom-ripped-jeans, his knees and half his thighs showing. Hoseok also wears a very colorful cropped, and Jungkook can easily see Hoseok’s flat belly. But the strangest part is that Hoseok is wearing full makeup. His eyes are fully painted on a pink, glittery eyeshadow, and his lips are covered in a red-ish, also glittery gloss.

“I’m Hoseok, and I can be your new vocalist, if you have me” Hoseok opens a small smile and waves his right hand, which is covered in rings and colorful bracelets.

"He will be. He's great, I know you'll love him" Jihae waves her hands, picking up her drumsticks. "The moment I told Jimin what happened, we ran to Hoseok's workplace and waited for him to finish his shift, and now here we are. With a vocalist!"

"Are you a singer, Hoseok-ssi?" Yoongi asks, a little careful.

"I wouldn't go as far as calling myself a singer , but I used to sing in a rock band."

"And why aren't you in that rock band anymore?" Taehyung gets up, and he seems suspicious. Jungkook feels the same. They don't need another quitter .

"Well" Hoseok frowns and looks at Jimin, seeming a little anxious, but Jimin smiles and whispers something, reassuring Hoseok. "Just by looking at me, you can probably tell that I'm a little… different, right?"

"Yes", Taehyung says quickly, and Jungkook and Yoongi give him a look, because rude , but Hoseok laughs loudly.

"The band found a new guitarist and the new guy was good, like, god tier good, but he was also a big queer hater, so I wasn't welcome anymore. The band made a choice, and it wasn't me."

Hoseok shrugs, and they all get silent for a moment. Now it makes sense for Jungkook, the reason why Hoseok doesn't seem to be very manly. The silence extends until Yoongi cleans his throat. "I'm sorry you went through this, Hoseok-ssi."

"I'm used to it, but I appreciate the feeling" Hoseok smiles sweetly, so sweet that Jungkook's heart flutters. "So… you guys need a vocalist, right? Would you like to hear me sing?"

“Yes, of course” Yoongi says, opening his best gummy smile. Jungkook can see in his hyung’s eyes that Yoongi already likes this Hoseok person. “You can choose whichever song you want, our Jungkook here can follow you on the guitar. He’s our lead guitarist.”

“ Oh? ” Hoseok finally looks at Jungkook’s eyes and it’s so weird. Makes Jungkook feel all shy, and for some reason he wants to hide from Hoseok’s gaze, but Jungkook tries his best to not look like a scared kid. It’s his band, after all. “Can you play I can’t explain ?”

“ The Who ?” Jungkook opens a smile when Hoseok agrees, picking up his guitar and plugging it, watching as Yoongi gives Hoseok the microphone.

“Well, Hoseok-ssi, the stage is yours.” Taehyung smiles and Jungkook starts playing.

I can’t explain is a song Jungkook listened to too much in his life, and probably played even more. So once he plays the first chords, he is instantly filled with adrenaline. It’s a song he’s so familiar with, he can play with his eyes closed, with the guitar on his back, just by pure muscle memory.

Hoseok looks deep in Jungkook’s eyes, and starts singing.

Jungkook misses the next note.

“Shit” he says and instantly stops playing. 

“What was that?” Yoongi starts laughing once the guitar stops, and Hoseok also stops singing, confused.

“Did I start at the wrong note?” Hoseok pouts and Jungkook is sure that, if he was still playing, he would miss the note. Again.

“No, no, I just–” Jungkook takes a deep breath and stops looking at Hoseok’s eyes. “I was distracted. Sorry. Let’s start over?”

And they do. This time, Jungkook doesn’t miss any note, but he also refuses to look at Hoseok. The man is very different, something Jungkook has never seen before. The clothes, the accessories, the painted nails (because now, when he holds the microphone, Jungkook can see that his nails are painted in baby blue), and the makeup . It’s almost like Hoseok looks like a girl, but at the same time he’s too obviously a guy.

Jungkook has never seen someone like him before. 

Being in the music industry – or at least trying to –, Jungkook has seen a lot of different people, men with long hair, nails painted in black, clothes that are a little too revealing. But cropped and colorful makeup? It’s definitely a first.

Hoseok doesn’t look bad, though. He looks attractive, but Jungkook wonders if he’s attractive because he looks like a girl.

Also, Hoseok’s voice is incredible. He sounds like an angel, like heaven is sending them their best singer just because . Soohyun had an incredible voice, but Hoseok could give her a run for her money at any time. Jungkook is completely sure that Hoseok’s voice will fit perfectly in each of their songs, as if they were meant to be sung by him.

When the music stops and Jungkook stops playing, everyone in the room instantly starts clapping, and Hoseok smiles and bows. “Thank you”, he says cutely. When he smiles like that, he looks pretty cute for Jungkook.

“I mean, I’m convinced” Yoongi shrugs and smiles. “You have an amazing voice, Hoseok-ssi”.

“Just Hoseok, please, or Hobi.”

“Hobi, please join our band!” Taehyung says with shining eyes, making Hoseok laugh. “I’m serious, your voice… I bet our songs will sound monumental with you singing them!”

“I told you that he would be our new vocalist!” Jihae high-fives Jimin. “You’ll join us, right, Hobi?”

“If it’s ok for all of you, it would be my honor!”

And then everybody is looking at Jungkook. It takes him a whole minute to understand that he is the only one who is still quiet. So he cleans his throat and opens his best smile, trying to look at Hoseok, but once their eyes meet, Jungkook feels his whole body burn, so he looks anywhere except Hoseok.

"Of course" he sees Jihae starting to jump in excitement. "Welcome to Overdose!"

They don’t rehearse. Instead, Yoongi, the non-official leader, talks with Hoseok for the rest of the night. Jungkook sits at a corner and, with his guitar unplugged, he plays the new songs Yoongi brought them last week. He tries to look at Hoseok as little as he can, because every time he does, he feels something burn inside of him, and Jungkook doesn’t know what it is, and doesn’t want to find out.

“He is good, isn’t he?” Jimin comes from nowhere, almost making Jungkook fall from the chair.

“Who?” Jungkook continues playing, not really paying much attention as Jimin grabs a stool and sits by his side.

“Hoseok, of course. Don’t you think so?”

“Sure” Jungkook half shrugs.

They keep silent for a whole minute or even more, enough for Jungkook to finish half a song before Jimin says: “I noticed the way you avoid looking at him, Jungkook.”

This time Jungkook stops playing. He looks at Jimin, who looks completely serious. Jimin is usually a very chill, very sweet person. It’s impossible to meet him and not like him. But there are moments, very rare moments, that Jimin gets serious, and becomes the most terrifying being that Jungkook has ever seen. That’s exactly how he is now.

“What?” Jungkook whispers, a nervous sweat starting to form on his forehead. Thank god his hair is long enough that Jimin probably won’t notice.

“I see how you avoid even looking in his direction. In fact, you look anywhere but Hoseok” Jimin sighs, looking suddenly tired. “Do you have a problem with Hoseok’s… lifestyle, Jungkook?”

“What?!” this time Jungkook almost screams, earning some curious looks from Taehyung and Jihae, but he smiles for them and waves a hand, motioning that everything is fine. “Of course not!”

“So what is it?”

“You’re imagining things, hyung.”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Jeon Jungkook” Jimin points an accusatory finger at Jungkook’s face. “Either you tell me what the hell is going on inside that head of yours, or I’ll assume you’re just a queer hater , and I will not allow Hoseok-hyung to suffer with this shit again, especially because I said Overdose would be a good idea. He doesn’t say it, but he was very hurt last time, and I won’t allow him to be hurt again”

Jungkook takes a deep breath, and he doesn’t look at Jimin when he says the truth. “He’s very different from everything I’ve seen, and… There’s something that makes me fear that, if I keep looking at him, I won’t be able to stop.”

“ Oh ” Jimin seems genuinely surprised. “Jungkook, I didn’t know you…”

Jungkook waits a minute, but Jimin just keeps quiet. Not wanting to push the matter, Jungkook takes a deep breath and resumes playing the guitar. “Well, there it is. You know now.”

“You know you’ll have to… get used to it, right? He’ll be your vocalist, so…”

“I know. I will. Just… probably not today.” Jungkook says and, in a moment of pure courage, he looks at Hoseok.

Just to see that Hoseok was already looking at him. Yoongi is now talking something with Jihae and Taehyung, and Hoseok is sitting by himself, looking at Jungkook. And once their eyes meet, Hoseok opens a sweet smile, the sweetest smile in the world. Instantly, Jungkook lowers his head, letting his hair hide how red his face probably is. 

Jungkook can hear Jimin laughing, but he pays him no attention. He’ll get used to Hoseok. 

One day.

***

Jungkook hates the sound of his telephone ringing. It’s loud, always scares him and hurts his ears every time it rings. When he moved to Seoul from Busan to take care of his grandmother, having a telephone was something unquestionable, but after she passed away, the first thing Jungkook tried to do was to cancel his phone line. Turns out it’s way easier keeping a phone line than trying to cancel it,  so he still has this one.

Of course, he told everyone he canceled, except a very low number of people: his parents, brother and his band (his mother being the reason why the thing is still connected to the line). So, whenever that hellish machine rings, he knows it’s probably something important. And even if he really wants to defenestrate the entire thing, Jungkook picks up the damn phone.

“Jungkook talking.”

“Just answer saying ‘hello’ as every normal human being” Yoongi says behind a robotic and slightly static voice.

“What do you want, hyung?”

“Are you working today, Kookie?”

“Of course I’m not, it’s Saturday” Jungkook pulls a chair and sits, playing with the telephone wire.

“Well, tell this to my fucking boss that is making me go with him to fucking Incheon!” Yoongi sounds so pissed that Jungkook can’t help but laugh.

“It’s a really close city, Yoongi-hyung.”

“Fucking Saturday!” Yoongi takes a deep breath and Jungkook tries his best to stop himself from laughing. “Anyway, I’m calling because I agreed to go to Hoseok’s house and help him with some of our songs, but I can’t anymore, and we don’t have time to waste since soon we’ll have some gigs, so…”

“So…?”

“You go instead, dumbass!” Jungkook can swear that Yoongi would be screaming, if he could. “Grab a paper and pen or whatever and write down his address.”

No, I don’t want to , is what Jungkook desperately wants to say. But he can’t, because their band is counting on this, counting on Hoseok to be their vocalist. Also, they have so little time, Jungkook knows that, if he really wants those gigs, he has to do this. Has to go to Hoseok’s house and probably be all alone with him and rehearse.

Jungkook really doesn’t want to do it.

But still, less than an hour later, he’s ringing the bell of a very beautiful house, with a perfect and very well groomed garden at the entrance. The door opens and Hoseok greets Jungkook with the brightest smile in the world.

Today, he’s a little less feminine. Hoseok is wearing jeans shorts, that are a little too short , stopping at the middle of his thighs and slightly ripped at the end, as if it was handmade. He wears a very large shirt, too oversized, and it falls from one of his shoulders, allowing Jungkook to view the perfect draw of his collarbone. At least today Hoseok is not wearing any makeup – not necessarily a good thing, since he still looks stunning even when he does not look like a woman.

“Yoongi-hyung, finally you– Oh” Hoseok stops, and the smile falters just a little bit. “Hey, Jungkook. I didn’t know you were coming too.” Hoseok quickly checks around, probably looking for Yoongi, the one who should be here. “Is Yoongi-hyung running late?”

Jungkook wonders when Yoongi and Hoseok got close enough to be already on hyung terms. 

“He had a work emergency and won’t be able to come” Jungkook feels a little offended with how sad Hoseok looks right now. “But he sent me to help you with our playlist. If you want.” Jungkook points to the guitar case on his back, and tries his best to open his best smile.

“Yes, sure!” Hoseok smiles again. “Come on in!”

Hoseok’s house is so, so clean. Jungkook is a 23-year-old man, he likes his place clean and all that, but sometimes he’s too tired to do anything like that. This house looks like it has never seen any kind of dust in its life. It’s very impressive. Also, the place is huge, the biggest house Jungkook has been in since he moved to Seoul.

“We can go to my bedroom, if that’s ok for you?” Hoseok looks concerned, but sighs with relief when Jungkook agrees. “Great, we’ll keep the door open, so don’t worry.”

That was a very strange and teenage thing to say, and it makes Jungkook frown. What about keeping the door open or closed? Should it make any difference?

Hoseok’s bedroom is even cleaner than the rest of the house, if that’s actually possible. He has a double bed that is neatly organized, sheets perfectly flat. There are some plushies on shelves that are really cute and give the bedroom a little more personality.

“You can sit wherever you want, bed, chair or the floor, I’ll be right back.”

Without a word, Jungkook sits on the floor, taking his guitar out of the case and starting to tune it. One or two minutes later, Hoseok enters the bedroom again, with a big boombox in his hand, putting it on a small desk at the corner of the room.

“Yoongi gave me this folder with lyrics and this tape that has some of the songs you guys recorded” Hoseok quickly puts the tape on the boombox, pressing play.

There’s something about hearing Soohyun’s voice that gets Jungkook furious, but he doesn’t want to think too much about it. If they’re lucky enough, soon all those recordings are going to be replaced by Hoseok’s voice, and Jungkook will forget once and for all that Soohyun ever existed.

When DNA ends, Jungkook looks at Hoseok, eyebrows raised. “So, what did you think?”

“Oh, every song you guys have are, like, perfect. Seriously. I’ve never heard songs that are that good before.”

“Thank you” Jungkook genuinely smiles. “It’s all Yoongi-hyung, honestly. So… Wanna start with DNA ?”

But once they start singing, there’s a big problem: again, Jungkook is incapable of looking at Hoseok. The way he looks and sounds when he’s singing is just… Too much. If Jungkook does as much as just look at the guy, he’s sure he’ll miss a note again, and he can’t have it. Like Jimin said, Jungkook needs to get used to being this close to Hoseok and look at him, but it’s still early. He has time.

It’s not perfect, but Hoseok is very good, and even though now they are singing the acoustic version of their songs, Jungkook can already imagine how great he’ll sound with the guitars, bass and drums together. He wonders how many times Hoseok listened to their tape, to be able to sing the songs almost effortlessly.

Once DNA is finished, Jungkook takes the folder that Yoongi gave Hoseok, looking through the songs and finding one of their favorites, the one that usually opens their small performances. “What about Not Today ?”

“ Huh… ” he hears Hoseok say, because Jungkook is still too focused on looking anywhere but Hoseok. Hoseok delicately takes the paper from Jungkook’s hand, quickly reading the lyrics. “I don’t remember this one recorded on the tape Yoongi gave me…”

“No problem, I’ll sing it, and you try to follow, ok?”

“Sure, let’s go.”

So that’s what they do, with Jungkook guiding the song and Hoseok mostly succeeding on following him, just with a few mistakes. Of course, once they finish the song, Jungkook knows they’ll have to rehearse it many more times, but it’s a very good start, especially considering that this was the first time Hoseok listened to the song. 

“You have a very beautiful voice, Jungkook,” Hoseok says when Jungkook starts to choose the next one.

“Thank you” Jungkook tries to look at Hoseok, but he hadn’t noticed that Hoseok sat on the floor close to Jungkook. Not too close so it’s uncomfortable, but close enough so Jungkook can see all the details from Hoseok’s face, like the cute mole over his lip. Or how stupidly beautiful he looks even with no makeup. Jungkook clears his throat and focuses on the papers again. “Wanna choose the next one?”

“You could be the band’s vocalist, you know? You have an angelic voice.”

Not as much as you , is what Jungkook thinks. What he answers, though, is “ Nah , I’d rather be the lead guitarist. I’ll be your back vocal, it’s good for me.” Jungkook really hopes that he’s hiding his face enough that Hoseok can’t see how red and embarrassed he is by those compliments. “So, next song?”

“Let’s go with Fake Love ” Hoseok says and sighs. “It was my favorite, I think I can sing it with little to no help already.”

So they start singing it, but after the first chorus, Jungkook notices that he’s singing alone, Hoseok completely silent. He stops playing, and looks at Hoseok, frowning. Hoseok is not looking at Jungkook, exactly, but he’s looking at Jungkook’s guitar, biting his under lip, seeming very concerned about something.

“Hoseok?”

“Sorry, Jungkook, I can’t do this” is what he says without even looking at Jungkook.

Jungkook freezes and his heart stops for a minute. What does he mean? Can’t he be their vocalist anymore? Jungkook doesn’t want that! He likes Hoseok’s voice so much, and they have so little time until the next gig, they can’t afford to lose yet another vocalist.

“What… what do you mean?” Jungkook doesn’t even care that he sounds desperate.

“It’s just that…” Hoseok takes a deep breath and looks right at Jungkook’s eyes and, shit , he looks too deep and too serious, Jungkook has to look away or he’ll sink. “This! You see, I can’t, Jungkook. You can’t even look at me. I can’t be in a band where one of their members is that uncomfortable around me.”

Wait.

Wait!

“Wait, Hoseok–” Now Jungkook is a little desperate because this can be the biggest misunderstanding in the world.

“I know not everyone is ok with queer people, believe me, I know , but this is becoming very uncomfortable for me, too. I don’t want to deal with it, and–”

“No, Hobi, that’s not it!” The nickname just escapes from Jungkook lips, without warning, but at least it’s enough to get Hoseok by surprise and make him stop talking. “I’m not– It has nothing to do with you being q-queer!”

“No?” Hoseok doesn’t believe Jungkook, clearly. He crosses his arms, face still very serious, while he looks at Jungkook dead in the eyes – not helpful, since it makes Jungkook feel like he’ll combust. “Then what is it?”

“I mean, it has something to do with you being q-queer, but not the way you’re thinking!” Jungkook holds his guitar against his chest when Hoseok locks his jaw. “It’s just that– I’m just– Fuck !”

Jungkook hides his face behind the guitar. Fuck, fuck, fuck! This is not going well. Jungkook wants to get up and run away, but he can’t just let Overdose lose the best vocalist they have ever had in their lives. It would be stupid, especially because of a misunderstanding.

“Ok, you know what?” Hoseok sighs again, collecting all the song lyrics and putting it again inside the folder. “Let’s end it here, alright? I’ll talk to Yoongi-hyung, I’ll even help you find a new vocalist and–”

“No! Listen, Hoseok, I really have no problem with you being q-queer,” it’s very hard for Jungkook to use the word ‘queer’ because he always hears people saying the word with some kind of disgust, in a very mean and mocking way, but since Hoseok is the one using it to talk about himself, maybe it’s ok for him? “It’s just… You’re a very different person, you know?”

“ Yes, Jungkook. I know, I’m very much aware. Your point?”

“ Ok! I never saw someone like you, and you are very pretty, and I was caught off guard because you are a man who looks so pretty , and every time I look at you, I get so shy, and I’m afraid if I keep staring at you, I’ll combust on shyness, and I try not to look because I’m tired of feeling so shy around you, and I don’t want to bother you, but I don’t know what to say, I don’t want you to think I’m weird just because I think you’re pretty, and I know that girls are pretty, but you are pretty too, and it’s weird, I’m so sorry!” Jungkook takes a deep, loud breath. He just threw the words on Hoseok, not even giving himself time to breathe.

“ Wow ” is what Hoseok manages to say. He doesn’t look serious anymore. Instead, he looks very surprised. “Jungkook, by any chance, are you also queer?”

“No!” Jungkook answers too fast. “Not that being queer is a problem, but I like girls.”

“Well, so do I.” Hoseok opens a small smile while he shrugs and sits on the floor again.

“I thought you were– That you liked guys.”

“I like both guys and girls, equally.”

“What?” Jungkook frowns. What the fuck is Hoseok talking?

“I… don’t know the exact name for what it’s called, but some people like me, smarter than me , are starting to use the term bisexual, and I think it makes sense because we all know what is homosexual or heterosexual, so…” Hoseok shrugs again. 

It’s very new for Jungkook, thinking that it’s possible to like both guys and girls. Doesn’t make a lot of sense, because guys and girls are very different things, right? But Jungkook can accept Hoseok’s explanation – in fact, it’s not Jungkook’s place to say anything.

“Jungkook, I understand that this is new for you, alright? So, if you have any doubts if you’re being rude or anything, just tell me” Hoseok opens a sweet smile and delicately holds Jungkook's hand. “I promise I won’t think you’re rude or weird just because you’re being curious.”

Jungkook stares at their hands, noticing how small Hoseok’s hand looks next to his, how delicate he is. His nails are still painted with the same baby blue, that makes him look even more cute. Jungkook looks at Hoseok and smiles, glad that Hoseok is a good and patient person.

“Thanks, Hoseok.”

“Yoongi said you’re the maknae in the band, so you can call me hyung, if you want to” and with a small wink, Hoseok adds: “You can call me pretty too.”

“Shut up!” Jungkook laughs, no bite at all on his voice, and their hands separate. “Let’s go back to practice, or Yoongi-hyung will kill us both at the next band practice.”

This time, they sing Fake Love until the end of the song, and as Hoseok said, he really doesn’t need any help. They spend the entire afternoon going through the songs that Yoongi prepared – their set list–, and even if it’s still a little hard to look at Hoseok, Jungkook already feels a little less nervous around the guy.

They only stop when someone appears at the door, saying “Hey, love” and scaring Jungkook, who didn’t expect someone to just pop out of nowhere. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys, I just wanted to say that I’m home and it’s already past dinner time. Do you guys want to order some pizza? I could also cook something.”

The person on the door is probably the most handsome person Jungkook has ever seen – only losing to Hoseok. He looks like a true model, with broad shoulders and a plump lip that doesn’t even look real, reminds a little of Jimin.

“Hello, Jin-hyung!” Hoseok waves his hand. “Didn’t hear you coming, sorry. This is Jungkookie, he’s my new lead guitarist!”

“Pleasure to meet you, Jungkook, I’m Seokjin” Seokjin winks, making Jungkook blush. Seokjin clearly notices this, because he laughs. “So, food? I won’t believe you guys are not hungry.”

“I guess we can just order pizza. What about Namjoon?” Hoseok asks.

“Well” Seokjin frowns at Jungkook's direction for one second, then looks at Hoseok again. “He’s on night shift today, so he’ll be home only after midnight.”

“Right, I forgot, sorry.”

“No problem, just my broken heart” Seokjin brings a hand to his heart, making a very fake sad face that has Hoseok rolling his eyes. Jungkook holds a laugh. “Do you have a favorite flavor, Jungkook?”

“No, anything is fine with me. Thank you very much, Seokjin-ssi.”

“Oh, no ‘ssi’ for me, kid. Just call me Jin-hyung and we’re fine. I’ll order some pizza, I’ll be back once it arrives.”

And just like that, Seokjin leaves the bedroom. Jungkook looks at the window, seeing that, in fact, the sky is already dark, the stars and the full moon being the main light source.

“I’m not a kid.” is what Jungkook ends up saying, trying to not pout and kind of acting like a kid.

“Everybody is a kid for him, but he’s not that old. Only feels like he is.”

“Just like Yoongi-hyung,” Jungkook laughs. “Who is Namjoon?”

Hoseok looks at Jungkook for a whole minute, studying him, before he answers, “Namjoon is my best friend in the world, I have known him since we were kids. He’s Jin’s boyfriend.”

“ Oh ” Jungkook says. So there are three queer people living in this house? That’s the most queer people Jungkook has ever been around. It’s a very different world he’s entering now.

“Will it be a problem?”

“No!” Jungkook shakes his head so quickly that he gets a little dizzy. “No, never, it’s fine. It’s just…”

“Different?”

“Yes. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. You didn’t say that we’re disgusting, sinners, that we should be dead, or actually just beat us up, so, yes, you’re fine. It’s the best reaction in this situation.”

“Beat you up? Hoseok-hyung, did you ever–”

“Let’s keep practicing before the pizza arrives” Hoseok changes the subject.

Jungkook doesn’t push him to keep talking, but while he plays Danger , he can’t help but think that there are actually people that call Hoseok so many names and that can go to the extreme as to hit him. It’s terrifying, imagine that someone as sweet as Hoseok has to live those terrible things just because he makes different choices from other people.

Three songs later, Seokjin is back in the bedroom, calling them to eat. Jungkook feels shy as he sits at the table with Hoseok and Seokjin, who seem to be so comfortable with each other, it's as if Jungkook is an intruder. Except that Hoseok and Seokjin are very, very good at making Jungkook feel welcome.

“Don’t even remind me of that day” Hoseok rolls his eyes while Seokjin laughs so loudly, and Jungkook can’t help but do the same because Seokjin is just that funny. “You know that I still have a scar on my thigh because of your genius idea, right, hyung?”

“Luckily, you live with a nurse that helped you asap .”

“Are you a nurse, Jin-hyung?” Jungkook fills his mouth with another giant pizza slice. He needs to know where they bought that pizza because it’s the best Jungkook has ever had.

“No, not me, I’m just a chef. The nurse is my–” Seokjin stops talking, and looks apprehensive at Hoseok.

“He’s fine, hyung. I told him.”

“Oh, ok” Seokjin sighs with relief. “My boyfriend is a nurse, Namjoonie.”

“That’s so cool!” Jungkook's eyes actually sparkle. “My friend, our bassist, Taehyung, is studying to become one too! Maybe they could meet and talk about it someday!”

“They could” Hoseok says sweetly and rests his chin on his hand, elbow at the table, his eyes lost on Jungkook’s face. Jungkook blinks, looking at him, and he can’t help the blush on his face when he looks at Hoseok for too long. Of course, Hoseok notices it and opens a provocative smile, the devil.

“Hyung, stop!” Jungkook fills his mouth with yet another pizza slice just to have something to do that isn’t looking at Hoseok.

“I’m sorry, but you’re too easy, Jungkookie.”

“What was that?” Seokjin looks from Hoseok to Jungkook, eyes very interested.

“Jungkook kinda has gay panics when he looks at me for more than two seconds.” Hoseok shrugs as if that’s a normal thing to say.

“I don’t! I’m not gay!” Jungkook protests and frowns.

“Having a gay panic doesn’t make you gay, Jungkook,” Seokjin rolls his eyes. “I have straight panic attacks every time I see a beautiful woman, and that never made me straight.”

It makes absolutely no sense, so Jungkook doesn’t answer. Soon, they’re talking about Overdose and how their second scheduled gig, the first on Chumchuneun Jwi , the most famous bar in Seoul, where every rock band dreams about playing at, will be the greatest thing in the world.

Jungkook only realizes that it’s really late when Seokjin tries to hide his yawn.

“Fuck, I need to go!” Jungkook jumps up and looks at the clock. It’s long past midnight. “It’s so late, I’m sorry to keep you two awake until now!”

“The talk is good, we all lost track of the time.” Seokjin yawns again. “Sorry, I worked today, I’m kinda exhausted.”

“Let’s go to bed, hyung” Hoseok gets up and extends a hand to Seokjin, who grabs without thinking much and almost knocks Hoseok down when he loses all his weight on the poor guy. “I’ll bring your guitar, Jungkook, just a second.”

“Good night, Kookie,” Seokjin says with a strangely cute voice.

Jungkook smiles and waves his hand while they both disappear. While he waits, Jungkook tries to clean the table as much as he can – which honestly is not much, but he’s trying his best. Jungkook hears the sound of the front door opening, and he instantly corrects his posture. A tall, strong man enters, and stops once he sees Jungkook.

“Hi” he says in a very deep voice, as deep as Taehyung’s. “I don’t know you.”

“Hi!” Jungkook bows almost ninety degrees. “I’m Jungkook, I’m in Hoseok-hyung’s band.”

“Right, he said a friend of his was coming earlier” the man smile, two cute dimples popping out on his cheeks. “Nice to meet you, Jungkook. I’m Namjoon.”

“Jin-hyung’s boyfriend, the nurse?” Jungkook’s eyes shine bright.

“Did he tell you that?” Namjoon frowns, still standing next to the front door.

“Yes, why?” It's Jungkook’s turn to frown. “Did I get it wrong?”

“We’re not very open about our relationship for obvious reasons” Namjoon sighs and finally properly enters his home, taking off his shoes and grabbing one of the cold pizza slices that he eats frighteningly quickly. “If he told you, you must be good people. And, yes, I’m a nurse.”

“Cool, I have a friend that is–”

“Namjoonie, you’re home” Hoseok interrupts, holding Jungkook’s guitar case on his back.

“Hello, love” apparently both Namjoon and Seokjin call Hoseok love , which is… different, but at this rate, Jungkook should be thinking that different might be the new normal. What is not normal, though, is Namjoon bringing Hoseok closer and kissing his forehead. That’s definitely not something very usual between two men, but then again… “I just got home, ‘was talking to your boy here.”

“Did you know that gay people disgust Jungkook?” Hoseok says, completely serious, and Jungkook feels his stomach drop to his feet.

“Oh, does it?” Namjoon looks at Jungkook with something closer to disgust.

What the fuck! , is what Jungkook thinks because that’s not it at all! He might not be used to queer people, but he doesn’t hate them! He thought Hoseok understood that!

“What?!” Jungkook tries not to scream because it’s very late and because his voice is too squeaky now. “That’s a fucking lie!”

“Yes, that is, I’m just messing with you, silly” Hoseok laughs, making himself small on Namjoon’s arms (not a hard job). “Jungkook is very sweet, Namjoonie, and he’s currently learning a lot about the queer world, so we have to be good to him.”

“I see,” Namjoon laughs, and the dimples pop again. Overall, Namjoon would never look like a nurse, except for when he smiles. Then he looks like the biggest puppy in the world, someone who you can trust with your blood test. “Don’t let Hoseok be mean to you, Jungkook. He just looks like a sweet guy, but–”

“Enough” Hoseok cuts him, letting go of Namjoon’s arms. “Your man is waiting for you, go be a good boyfriend.”

“Alright, see you another time, Jungkook!” With a quick wave, Namjoon disappears in the corridor, leaving Hoseok and Jungkook alone.

“Sorry about the joke, I was just messing with you. Did I cross a line?” Hoseok seems very concerned when he gives back the guitar to Jungkook.

“It really freaked me out, I’d rather not feel like that again.” Jungkook tries not to feel very affected by it, but it was really frightening.

“Noted” Hoseok opens a smile. “See, if we communicate, we’ll know what creeps each one, and stop doing it.”

“Terrible way to teach a lesson, but I get it” Jungkook smiles once he’s on the front door, managing to look at Hoseok’s eyes this time. So what if his heart starts beating too fast and his entire body still burns with shyness, or shame, or whatever? Baby steps. “Thank you for today, hyung. And for being so understanding.”

“Thank you for accepting me, Jungkook” Hoseok takes a deep breath, and this time he’s the one avoiding Jungkook’s eyes. “I know I can be too much for some people, and a lot of people are actually embarrassed to be close to me, so… Thank you, and thank everyone in the band for accepting me.”

Jungkook wants to hug Hoseok. He wants so badly to be close to him, to hug him tight and say that things are going to be alright, that shit people will always be shit, but there are people that will always love him, like Seokjin, and Namjoon. And the entire band, for sure. It’s impossible to know Hoseok and not love him, isn’t it?

But Jungkook doesn’t hug him, and doesn’t say any of those words. Instead, he smiles and, feeling very brave, he holds one of Hoseok’s hands.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at practice.”

“Of course” Hoseok smiles sweetly, cutely. Lovely. “Get home safely, Jungkookie.”

“I will.”

While he walks home, Jungkook feels all kinds of weird things inside him. It’s very weird how he already is starting to feel so attracted by Hoseok, but how can’t him? Hoseok is so new in his life, so distinct to everything he has ever seen. Jungkook can’t help being curious. And he’s willing to learn more about Hoseok’s world.

It might even be fun.

***

It's been a month since Hoseok joined their band. One month before their first gig. Things are going better than Jungkook could ever dream. Of course, Hoseok adapts ridiculously well to the band, and in less than one month, it is like Hoseok has been their vocalist since Yoongi decided to start a band; nobody even remembers what it was like having a non-Hoseok singing their songs.

Everybody is in love with Hoseok. The guy is fun, cute, strict when needed, he gives everyone energy. The moment Hoseok goes into a room, the entire place lights up. Yoongi, for one, is ridiculous. Sometimes he’s in his worst mood, hissing to everyone who dares to do as much as look at him. The moment Hoseok says hello, Yoongi becomes the most sweet and lovely person on Earth, smiling to the world and his wife. Jihae is always whispering something with him, little giggles always escaping the both of them. Jungkook is always laughing at some new story that Hoseok tells him about Namjoon and Seokjin.

But the worst of them all is Taehyung.

Taehyung is in love with Hoseok, Jungkook is sure of that.

It’s pathetic the way Taehyung looks at Hoseok with star shining in his eyes, how clingy he is to the guy, how he says ‘hyung’ in a very whiny voice, how he laughs at the unfunniest jokes Hoseok tells, how he asks Hoseok to teach him dance – because Hoseok is also a dance god, obviously. Taehyung is disgustingly in love with Hoseok and Jungkook hates it.

It’s so unprofessional, in Jungkook’s opinion. Also, Taehyung used to have a girlfriend until last year, since when is he interested in guys? Sure, Hoseok said that it’s possible, but did the guy have to be Hoseok? There are a lot of guys around, Taehyung could choose anyone, why Hoseok?

Besides the obvious fact that Hoseok is the most stunning man in the world.

The funniest part is that no one else in the band seems to see what is happening, how Taehyung is always all over Hoseok, not even giving him time or space to breathe. Everybody seems fine with it, and that doesn’t make any sense in Jungkook’s head. Is he the only one seeing the way Taehyung’s touch lingers too long on Hoseok’s arms?

“Oh, guys!” Hoseok says happily after practice is done, making Jungkook focus on another thing that isn’t thinking about how Taehyung is so shameless. “I know it might not be your scene, but… My friend is performing at the G-20 today, and I would love for you guys to go with me.”

For what Jungkook can recall, G-20 is a nightclub well-known for being a safe place for the queer community – they are not openly for queer people, it’s not part of their brand, but everyone just knows . It’s one of those things that everybody knows, but nobody talks about. 

“Sorry, Hobi, but nightclubs are not my thing” Jihae shrugs and smiles. “But Jiminie said he’s going, right? Is Jo Kwon dancing today?”

“Yes, he is!” Hoseok opens the biggest smile, looking very proud of his friend. “And that’s ok, Jihae, you should rest. And… How about you guys?” Hoseok looks expectantly at the other band members.

“It might be fun” Yoongi shrugs and Jungkook raises his eyebrows. Yoongi accepting going to a nightclub . The Hoseok effect is really hard on him, huh?

“Of course I’m going!” Taehyung jumps in excitement. “We can dance together, Hobi-hyung!”

Jungkook narrows his eyes at Taehyung’s direction. Does he have to look so happy about going out with Hoseok? He’s not even going on a date, it’ll be a place filled with strangers. Nothing to be this happy about.

“Jungkook?” Hoseok smiles at him, and Jungkook remembers he shouldn’t be mentally cursing his friend.

“Sure, I’ll go” Jungkook has to watch Taehyung before he makes a fool of himself. Bigger fool.

“Cool!” Hoseok claps his hands, jumping happily. “We can meet at the entrance at 9PM, his performance is at 10PM, so we can have some time to drink a little, talk, you know.”

They all go home to get ready for the night. Jungkook has a very hard time choosing his clothes. He’s sure Hoseok will look like a Greek god. Goddess. He’ll just look so fucking good , Jungkook really wishes he could match his hyung, be as beautiful as Hoseok. But he isn’t and his wardrobe is full black, so he puts on an oversized black shirt, with skinny black jeans pants, and combat black boots. All black, perfectly Jungkook.

When he arrives at the address Hoseok gave them, Jungkook finds Yoongi and Taehyung already waiting. Of course, they both look handsome, but for some reason, this kind of bothers Jungkook.

“Looking good, JK!” Taehyung smiles and wiggles his eyebrows. “Trying to impress someone?”

“Of course not, who would I impress?” Jungkook feels his cheeks burn, incapable of looking at any of his hyungs.

“You are here!” a happy voice fills the night, and Hoseok basically jumps to them.

The moment Jungkook puts his eyes on Hoseok, he chokes. Hoseok looks… sinful . He’s wearing a full transparent long sleeved shirt that is so tight on his body that Jungkook can see every single muscle on his torso. He’s also wearing another one of his mom jeans that is completely ripped, and Jungkook swears he can see Hoseok’s underwear. And, if the clothes weren’t bad enough, Hoseok is wearing full makeup, his lips are so red, almost cherry, and his eyes shine with a white glitter eyeshadow. It’s ridiculous how pretty he looks, how Jungkook feels his legs so weak.

“Wow, hyung!” Taehyung says and holds Hoseok’s hand, making him twirls and giggle. Oh , of course Hoseok’s pants are ripped on the back too. Of course. “You are so handsome! This outfit is perfect!”

“Of course he’s pretty, we all know” Jungkook rolls his eyes. Why does Taehyung want Hoseok’s attention so much?

“Thank you, my darlings” Hoseok bows slightly, smiling shyly. “Let’s get in, the party is only getting started!”

The place is not big, by any means. It’s not too small either, a medium ground that almost makes everything cozy. The dance floor is the biggest part, filled with people that are jumping, singing and dancing to the song and the presentation that is taking part on a stage at the far back, where now four girls are making a very sexual dance. Jungkook can’t hold his smile, thinking how comfortable they look even in that situation. Some people were just born to be on the stage.

“Is there where your friend is going to perform, Hob-ah?” Yoongi asks, pointing at the stage where the girls are starting a new choreography for a new song.

“Yes, he’ll be the next, I think!” Hoseok looks at the stage, excited, already vibing to the music.

“Did you ever perform there, hyung?” Taehyung asks, looking too interested, in Jungkook’s opinion.

“No, I–” Hoseok’s cheeks get slightly pink. “I want to, some day, but– I guess I’m a little shy about that.”

“You’re literally the vocalist in a band, Hob-ah.”

“Yes, but I’m not alone on the stage, am I? I have you all to give me strength!”

“I could dance with you, hyung!” Taehyung says with the biggest smile. “We can perform together!” Taehyung brings Hoseok close to him and hugs him, cages Hoseok inside his arms.

Hoseok looks at Taehyung with so much fondness, opening a smile so sweet, that something very ugly stirs inside Jungkook’s stomach and, before he can even think, he’s saying “Me too, hyung! I can dance with you, too!”

“Oh?” Hoseok looks at Jungkook with interest. “Didn’t know you danced, Kookie.”

“I don’t, but you can teach me, right?” Jungkook tries to not sound nervous when he says that.

“Of course I can, baby.” Something even uglier inside Jungkook’s heart stirs when Hoseok calls him baby .

After three more songs, the girls get off the stage under claps and cheers. Jungkook claps and screams loudly, making all his hyungs laugh, but he can’t even be embarrassed. They were good, and the place’s energy is so good that he can’t help his enthusiasm.

“Jaykay, let’s grab everybody some drinks?” he feels a hand on his elbow, and soon he’s being pulled away from the dance floor to a bar.

“Four beers” Hoseok says to the barman and, while they wait, turns to Jungkook and smiles. “So, what are you thinking about the place?”

“I really like it” Jungkook is honest. “I don’t know, it has a good vibe, people seem happy. And I can’t wait to see your friend’s performance!”

“I think you’ll like it! Kwon-hyung is the best, he’s like a dancing god, and he also sings, so… Expect to be amazed!”

“More than I usually am by you?” Jungkook raises one eyebrow and smiles.

“Stop it” Hoseok's face becomes adorably red and Jungkook laughs. “Don’t you dare flirt with me, you het-guy!”

“I wasn’t!” Jungkook laughs loudly while the barman arrives with their orders, and they start to make their way back to their friends. “But seriously, hyung, this is all new to me and I’m really loving to learn about the queer community, and it’s all thanks to you, so of course you amaze me.”

“You’re too cute to be true, Jungkookie,” Hoseok sighs.

Not too long after, Hoseok’s friend is on the stage. The entire club goes crazy when the music starts and Jo Kwon starts dancing. He’s an incredible performer, Jungkook has to recognize that much. He moves like water, like the girls that were dancing before him. It’s hypnotizing, and Jungkook wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off the stage if it wasn’t for Hoseok by his side.

Because Hoseok is dancing, too, mimicking Jo Kwon’s movements, and it’s probably the most amazing thing Jungkook has ever seen. It’s something close to sexy. Jungkook can’t say for sure what it is about the way Hoseok moves that makes something inside Jungkook’s stomach tickle, his heart jump… There’s always something about Hoseok.

Something that makes Jungkook want to scream, to touch Hoseok, to have him closer. Something crazy and that makes no sense. Something that Jungkook never felt before about anybody, and he can’t explain, can’t put a finger on it. Something that is driving Jungkook crazy, in a way, because Hoseok’s presence in his life is so god-damn different .

Jungkook's hands hurt because he claps so hard as Jo Kwon leaves the stage. After he leaves, the lights go down, and the music gets higher. Now people start to actually dance, bodies close to each other, touching. It’s a true nightclub, exactly like all the ones Jungkook has been at, except that, when he looks right, he sees two guys kissing each other.

Different is the new normal.

Yoongi leaves them for a minute, just to come back with four more beers and Jimin by his side, who looks completely drunk. With the biggest smile, Jimin gets closer to Hoseok, whispers something in his ear, making him laugh. They all start to dance, but there’s something sinful about the way Jimin and Hoseok dance together, how they move their bodies so close, about the faces Hoseok does when Jimin holds his waist, that makes Jungkook burn, leaves him with a feeling that maybe he should be the one dancing like that with Hoseok.

After another song, Jimin says something that is impossible to understand because the music is loud and Jimin is too drunk to speak properly, leaving them and disappearing in the crowd.

“Hyung, let me dance with you” Jungkook hears Taehyung say when another song starts.

And now Taehyung is dancing with Hoseok just like Jimin was minutes before. Taehyung is holding Hoseok’s waist, holding him close to his own body. Their faces are close, so close that it’s uncomfortable. Jungkook looks to his left, where Yoongi is barely moving, just taking a sip of his beer and with his eyes lost on the crowd, completely unaware of the way Taehyung is so explicitly taking advantage of Hoseok. Looking at the crowd, Jungkook sees a lot of people kissing, touching each other’s bodies, shamelessly.

When he looks again at Taehyung and Hoseok, Hoseok’s hands are on Taehyung’s neck, their foreheads almost touching. Something big and ugly wakes up inside Jungkook. When he moves to their direction, something starts to scream inside his head, begging him to not be crazy, but all Jungkook can see when he holds Taehyung’s arms with all his strength is red.

“ Ouch , Jungkookie!” Taehyung finally lets go from Hoseok’s waist and looks at Jungkook, frowning.

“Hyung, help me get more beers” Jungkook smiles, feeling victorious.

“Can you bring one for me?” Hoseok says innocently. 

“Of course, I’ll bring to everyone, that’s why I’m taking Taehyung with me” still holding Taehyung’s arms stronger than he should, but not enough to hurt, Jungkook takes Taehyung to the bar, away from Hoseok.

“Four beers, please,” Taehyung asks the bartender.

“What the hell are you doing, Taehyung?” Jungkook can’t help himself, crossing his arms.

“Asking for beers?” Taehyung is still frowning, trying to find something in Jungkook's expression. “Isn’t that what we’re doing here?”

“I mean with Hoseok-hyung.”

“I was… dancing” Taehyung is now looking at Jungkook like he is making no sense.

“Did you see how you were dancing with him?!” Jungkook gets closer to Taehyung, trying to not raise his voice too much. “You two looked like dogs in heat.”

“ What the fuck, JK?! ” Taehyung looks pissed . Great, because that’s how Jungkook also feels. He feels so fucking ready to fight , and it feels good to know that he’s making Taehyung feel the same.

“I should be the one saying ‘what the fuck’ ! You want people to think you’re gay?”

“What is the problem with being gay?” Taehyung’s voice is very low now, too low, threatening.

The bartender gives them the beers, but instead of going back, Jungkook just looks at Taehyung, letting all his anger very clear in his eyes and the way he’s locking his jaw. Jungkook walks away, to a corner that has fewer people, where no one can see them.

“Jungkook?” Taehyung says before following him. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

"Wrong with me ?!" Jungkook lets out a hollow laugh. " You were the one rubbing up against Hoseok. In a gay club."

"What is your obsession with gay people?" Taehyung now sounds so nervous, his fists white with the force he applies where he's gripping the bottle. Jungkook wonders if the beer bottle might end up breaking in Taehyung's hand. "I thought you didn't have a problem with gays."

"You can be gay all you want, Taehyung, just do it away from Hoseok."

"Is there any way you can make fucking sense , Jungkook?!" Taehyung, unlike Jungkook, has no problem raising his voice. If it weren't for the loud music, surely people around would be staring at them already. "Did Hoseok complain, did he say something to you?"

"How is he going to complain if you never get off him?" Jungkook practically growls, feeling his throat burn as he tries to balance the anger he feels with the urge to scream. "You don't let him breathe! I look to the side and, pronto , you're over him again!"

"And what's the problem with that?! He's my friend! If he and I want to, we can be touchy, laugh, and dance together!" The way Taehyung says it just makes Jungkook more nervous. The same thing from earlier still screams in your head to please, stop! , makes his stomach turn cold, his heart beats fast.

"The problem is that I want to do all this with him, Taehyung, I want Hoseok to myself!"

The words are out of Jungkook's mouth before he can even think about them or what the hell would that mean, like a ball escaping his throat without permission, hitting Taehyung hard. Hitting Jungkook even harder.

They both go silent, just staring at each other. Jungkook brings his hand to his mouth, his eyes widening in shock at the words he just uttered. Jungkook's heart races so fast it physically hurts. His head starts throbbing and his eyes burn.

"Jungkook…" Taehyung's voice is nothing more than a whisper, but to Jungkook, it sounds like he's still screaming. "Jungkook, you–"

"No" Jungkook cuts him off before he can finish his sentence. He knows exactly what Taehyung is going to ask, and he doesn't want to hear those words. "I don't know why I said that. Forget it." Jungkook shakes his head quickly, trying to clean up the mess his thoughts are becoming, but it’s hard. Everything starts hurting, thinking is hard, he just wants to go away and hide himself in shame. "They're waiting for the beer. Get back to them."

"I don't– Jungkook, we need–"

"Tell them I went home, please." Jungkook says before leaving without even looking at Taehyung again.

Jungkook starts walking slowly, ignoring Taehyung's calls, but little by little his feet pick up speed, and the only thing he can think of, the only thing that doesn’t make his head hurt more, is that he needs to get out of that place as soon as possible. He doesn't care about the people he bumps into, he doesn't even stop to apologize. All Jungkook can think is that he needs to get out of that place as soon as possible.

And, because life is always ironic, the only time he stops is when he bumps into someone and almost falls.

Hoseok.

" Oof " Hoseok says, raising his head and opening a smile when he notices that the person he almost kicked down is Jungkook. "Jungkookie! I was just about to go after you and Taehyung!"

All Jungkook can do is stare at Hoseok. Looking at his face, at his makeup that remains almost intact, his lips being the only thing that has slightly faded, now just pink, no longer red. Hoseok, who is wearing a sheer top and has a spectacular body. Images of Hoseok dancing invade Jungkook's mind, the way he moved as if there were no bones in his body, and his head hurt more and more. But then there’s Hoseok's voice, singing Overdose's songs, perfectly hitting the notes, amazing everyone. And, god, how Hoseok and Jungkook's voices match perfectly when they harmonize.

That's when Jungkook knows .

Jungkook knows what he said to Taehyung is true. He wants Hoseok, in a way he didn't know he could want another man.

And that's the scariest thing in the world .

"I have to go" is all Jungkook manages to say, feeling his body, previously so warm, begin to freeze.

"Did something happen? You look scared" Hoseok raises his hand, as if to touch Jungkook.

In a startled reaction, Jungkook takes a step back and pushes Hoseok's hand away from him. "Don't touch me!" Jungkook yells too fast, scared of himself, of his own feelings. What Hoseok is making him feel. "Don't come near me!"

"Jungkookie?" Hoseok looks at him scared, terrified. He takes the hand that Jungkook took away to his chest, as if he was trying to protect it. "What happened, Kookie?"

But Jungkook can't answer. He just looks at Hoseok, at his hyung's terrified and wet eyes, at his hurt expression. Jungkook feels something inside him start to break. And then, without a word, Jungkook walks away from Hoseok and finally leaves the club.

As he walks, Jungkook feels his eyes sting. He lives far from the club but doesn't mind, walking faster and faster until he breaks into a run. And as he runs, as he feels the icy wind cut his face, Jungkook starts to cry.

All he can think of as he runs is that he hates himself. Jungkook hates himself for hurting Taehyung and Hoseok. He hates himself for feeling such a mess, for not even knowing what's going on inside himself. He hates himself for being a coward, for running, for leaving all his friends behind.

Jungkook runs for hours until his legs hurt, and then he keeps running. When he gets home, Jungkook locks the door and surrenders, lets his legs lose strength and falls to the floor before he can even reach the couch. Jungkook brings his hands to his face, trying to dry the tears that are still falling, and they fall even harder when he remembers Hoseok's broken expression.

The time Jungkook spends crying is even longer than he spent running, or at least that’s how it feels like, and he only stops when tiredness gets the best of him and, still on the ground, Jungkook falls asleep.

***

Jungkook wakes up to a knock on his door. 

He's lying on the living room floor, half on the rug, half on the cold floor.  Jungkook groans in pain as he gets up, wishing he was hungover to the point of forgetting the night before. Unfortunately, Jungkook still remembers every moment.

He hasn't even had much to drink, but his stomach seems to be churning, making him nauseous like he has a hangover. Probably a social hangover, something like that. His face is swollen, especially his eyes. Jungkook hasn't looked in the mirror yet, but he knows his nose is all red, and his cheeks must be tear-stained. His head still hurts from crying so much.

He walks to the front door, still hearing the knocking. It's not knocking, like they're trying to get his attention, just like someone is using the wood of the door as an instrument, writing a melody. Jungkook furrows his brows, thinks maybe he should install a peephole on his front door, but it's too late now. Someone is creating music on his doorstep, and Jungkook has no idea who is on the other side.

Without hesitation, Jungkook opens the door at once. On the other side, a person falls at his feet, probably because he was using the door as a support.

" Shit " Taehyung's very familiar voice speaks. He looks up at Jungkook and smiles. "You woke up!"

"Hyung?" Jungkook feels very confused, seeing Taehyung still lying on the floor at his feet. "What are you doing here?"

"I slept here" Taehyung finally gets up, and Jungkook notices that, just like him, Taehyung is still wearing the same clothes as the night before. "I came after you, I couldn't leave you alone."

Jungkook just stares at Taehyung, feeling his eyes start to sting again. He can't take any more crying. At this point, it must be physically impossible for his body to still have tears.

"Why?" is what Jungkook manages to ask, still fighting a new bout of crying, that he can’t have .

"Because you're one of my best friends, JK. I can't leave you suffering alone." Taehyung smiles empathetically, sweet and sincere.

"Thanks, hyung" Jungkook smiles too, feeling tears well up in his eyes but running the back of his hands over them before they fall. "Come on, I'll make us breakfast."

"It's almost lunchtime, but that's ok" Taehyung laughs and follows Jungkook into the house.

Jungkook intended to go to the market this afternoon, so his pantry is a little limited. He gets enough to make pajeon , and as he cuts the scallions in silence, Jungkook hears Taehyung humming the same melody as he knocked on his door.

"New song, hyung?" he asks just to make conversation.

"Maybe" Taehyung smiles. "Maybe I might make a guest appearance on our band's future album? Sweet Night would be a great hidden track."

" Sweet Night , huh?" Jungkook cracks a smile. Of course, Taehyung already chose the name of the song.

When the pajeon is ready, Jungkook takes a plate for himself and another for Taehyung, and they calmly begin to eat. Jungkook watches his friend silently, seeing how peaceful Taehyung looks as he eats, seeming to genuinely enjoy the food. He thinks about how his hyung slept outside, on his doorstep, in the cold, just to make sure that as soon as Jungkook woke up, he would have company. Jungkook looks down at his plate, seeing that he's only eaten half of his food, but now he's completely lost his hunger.

"Please forgive me, hyung" Jungkook whispers, unable to look directly at Taehyung. “Yesterday, I don't know what came over me, I was so rude for no reason, I was a dick and… I don't know, hyung, I was just awful and I'll understand if you can’t forgive me."

Taehyung takes a deep breath and looks directly into Jungkook's eyes. He doesn't smile anymore, and it's always a little scary when Taehyung looks all serious. He stares at Jungkook for a while, something in his eyes between pity, understanding, fear, a mix of feelings that don't make sense together.

"I'm not interested in Hoseok-hyung, Jungkook, not... I like him, but I don't like him that way " Taehyung speaks carefully, and Jungkook wants to protest, saying that what happened has nothing to do with Hoseok, but he hasn’t the strength to lie at the moment. Taehyung wouldn’t believe, anyway "But I... admire Hoseok a lot."

Taehyung's face starts to blush. He looks away, no longer staring at Jungkook, and swallows hard. Jungkook is silent, just watching as Taehyung seems to work up the courage to continue.

"I admire Hoseok a lot, Jungkook, because I want to be like him" Taehyung's Adam's apple moves, his nervousness growing with each new sentence. "He's so sure of himself, unashamed of what people will think or say, not hiding his… preferences. I wanted... to be like him. Not hiding."

Jungkook's jaw drops.

Of all the turns this conversation could take, this was definitely not a scenario Jungkook was expecting.

"Hyung, you..." Jungkook also swallows hard. "I didn't know... You used to have a girlfriend..."

"I never... I really liked Miyeon, but never... like that . I didn't... We never even did much more than kissing."

Jungkook's jaw remains dropped, and Taehyung is still unable to look directly in Jungkook's direction. He stares at his lap, too interested in the hem of his shirt. Jungkook wonders if this is the first time Taehyung has said this to someone.

"Hyung–"

"That's why I look up to Hoseok-hyung so much, I kind of look up to him as a role model" Taehyung finally looks at Jungkook, eyes bright with fear. "If one day I manage not to feel ashamed of my own feelings, if one day I manage to be like hyung, maybe I–" he cuts off his own sentence, frowns. "I won't judge you for what you might be feeling for Hoseok, Jungkook."

Half the food is still intact on their plates. Jungkook doesn’t feel hungry anymore. Maybe this is not the best moment to be having this conversation. Just like last night, Jungkook wants to run and hide, he doesn’t want to talk, to put thoughts on this feeling that’s been moving and growing inside his stomach since the first time he put his eyes on Hoseok.

But the thing is: Taehyung just opened his heart. He bared his soul to Jungkook after spending an entire night sleeping on his doorstep just because he cares so much about Jungkook. And even if Taehyung isn’t asking anything from Jungkook, he still feels like maybe it would be good to talk about it. Maybe Jungkook would feel less like shit.

“I don’t know how I feel about Hoseok-hyung, I–” Jungkook takes a deep breath. “I just know it’s not normal, hyung.”

“Why do you think it’s not normal, Jungkook?”

“Because he’s a guy! And I’m a guy! And I never felt like this for anyone, and… it’s wrong.” The last part is nothing more than a whisper.

“Then he’s wrong, too. And… I’m wrong too. And maybe…” Taehyung stops for a second, just to smile a sad, broken smile to Jungkook, but with something that resembles hope in his eyes. “Maybe if there’s so many of us… Maybe we’re not the wrong ones. Maybe…”

“Maybe it’s everyone else.” Jungkook completes, with a smile of his own.

“I wish I was as brave as Hoseok-hyung to be honest about myself to the world, but you know what?” Taehyung puts his hand over the table, palm up, inviting Jungkook to hold his hand. Jungkook doesn’t hesitate before taking it. “If I can’t be brave to the entire world, at least I can be brave to my friends.”

Jungkook thinks about Hoseok, about how he’s been nothing but perfect since they met. How Hoseok is always so patient with Jungkook, so forgiving. There’s also Namjoon and Seokjin, people that accepted him and were so nice to Jungkook, feeding him, making him laugh. And how they seem to be so good to each other.

It’s almost ironic how Jungkook accepted so well that they all, that Taehyung , are queer people because in the end it makes no difference, but it’s so scary and hard to think that this can apply to himself. That maybe Jungkook is also queer. In the end, for all he knows about their friends, nothing is really different, only new. Nothing is wrong with Hoseok, or Seokjin, or Namjoon, or Taehyung. And nothing is wrong with Jungkook, whatever he’s feeling or not.

He just needs to truly accept it.

“I want to be brave too, hyung” is what Jungkook says, not letting go of Taehyung’s hand.

“Let’s be brave together then, JK.”

***

The next band practice is on Wednesday. Taehyung has to go to Jungkook’s house and force him to go to practice. A shame, honestly, because Jungkook had already rehearsed about four or five different excuses to not go, to not face Hoseok.

But, as Taehyung very wisely said, they have a series – three – of gigs in less than one month coming, and they need to practice as much as they can, because Hoseok is still new to their band, and they can’t make any mistakes. Not that they’re expecting some famous producer to be there just waiting for the perfect band to sign a contract with, but places like Chumchuneun Jwi are very well-known on the music scenery, and even if they don’t get a contract out of this, the chances they can get more and bigger gigs are high. They have to do well.

So Jungkook has to get his shit together and face Hoseok.

He and Taehyung are the first to arrive at the studio – except for Yoongi, since it’s literally his house’s garage. Jungkook hasn’t talked to Yoongi since the party, and he feels the weight of his hyung’s gaze once they arrive, but Jungkook completely ignores it. He just plugs his guitar in and starts playing their set list.

Jihae is the next to arrive, right on time. She smiles at them all, jokes a little with Taehyung and goes to the drums, starting to freestyle, just like them all are doing while they wait for Hoseok.

And they wait.

And wait.

One entire hour has passed since the agreed time for practice. Nobody said anything yet, but Jungkook sees everyone looking at the door every five minutes, waiting, hoping. For all the time they've been together, Hoseok has never, ever been late. Never .

Jungkook gulps, his heart is beating fast since twenty minutes ago because somehow Jungkook is suddenly certain that everything is his fault. What if Hoseok isn't coming because of him? Because Jungkook was so rude at the party, running away without a word, yelling at Hoseok to not touch him for no apparent reason. 

What if Hoseok doesn't want to be part of Overdose anymore? It wouldn't be the first time that Hoseok thinks about leaving the band because Jungkook makes him uncomfortable. Damn, what if Jungkook made them lose their vocalist just because he can't deal with his own feelings as the adult he is?

And what if Jungkook just lost the best person he has ever met, the most  amazing and loveable man that he has ever seen? The first person that succeeded on making his heart beat faster, his stomach tickle, his–

"I'm so sorry!" the door opens and Hoseok enters, almost running. "Guys, I'm so, so sorry I'm late, I had the bitchiest bride ever at the shop!"

He takes off his jacket, revealing full business casual clothes, probably his work uniform, and runs to his spot at the center, where the microphone is already prepared, on his support. Jungkook looks at Hoseok while he runs his hand through his hair, messing up the perfect hairstyle he was wearing. He’s also wearing make up, but it’s very light and natural, almost like he’s wearing no makeup at all.

“That’s ok, hyung” Taehyung opens a smile and kisses Hoseok’s cheek. As usual, jealousy turns on Jungkook’s stomach, but this time it hurts a little less. “Let’s just get started, shall we?”

That’s what they do. As always, the practice goes without problems, the band completely in sync, working as a perfect harmony. It’s perfect, the best they have been since Jungkook has been in Overdose. Except, of course, for one tiny detail. Hoseok doesn’t come near Jungkook at all . During the entire practice, Hoseok is his usual energetic person, taking the microphone from the support, jumping around, being playful with Taehyung and Yoongi, and even Jihae, the drummer , the person that stays on the back and can’t leave their position during the songs. But with Jungkook? Hoseok doesn’t even look at him. And Jungkook knows he’s not the only one that noticed it, because he catches Yoongi's eyes on him, frowning.

Once the practice is over, Hoseok goes to grab his things and opens a big, apologetic smile “Sorry I won’t stay for chat today, guys, I’m exhausted, I’ll head home now.”

And without another word, he leaves the studio. Everybody freezes, looking as Hoseok closes the door. Jungkook feels his heart racing because it’s his fault, he knows it is. He looks at Taehyung, desperation in his eyes. And all Taehyung does is point at the door from where Hoseok just left and says, “Go after him!”

Jungkook nods, but before he can start running after Hoseok, he hears Yoongi calling him. “Jungkook, wait.”

He stops, looking at his hyung. Yoongi looks too serious, too grown up, but still all Jungkook can think about is that, the longer he gets to run after Hoseok, the farther Hoseok will be.

“What is going on between you and Hob-ah?”

“I– I don’t know, I just– I’m–” Jungkook swallows dry and looks at Taehyung, finding his friend smiling as support. Jungkook takes a deep breath. He didn’t want to have this talk here, like this, but he doesn’t have the time now. “I think I might like Hoseok-hyung more than just as a friend, but I fucked up and I need to apologize.”

“Are you sure, Jungkook?”

“No, but I have to at least talk to him. I can’t lose him like this.”

“Don’t break his heart” Yoongi says as a warning, and Jungkook only nods, agreeing, even though he knows some things are easier said than done. “And don’t break your own heart, either. Now, go after him!”

Jungkook doesn’t even think. He just leaves his things behind, only keys and wallet in his pocket, and runs. He runs as fast as he can, because he can’t just let Hoseok go like this. Not when things are weird between them, not when Jungkook said things he never meant just because he was so confused and scared. He still is , honestly, but thinking about losing Hoseok like this is even scarier.

He turns the street corner, and he finally sees Hoseok, walking too fast. “Hyung!” Jungkook screams, and Hoseok stops. He doesn’t look back, doesn’t look at Jungkook, but he stops, so Jungkook can finally reach him. “Hoseok-hyung, can we talk?”

“Can we?” Hoseok finally looks at Jungkook, for the first time that night, and he looks so hurt. “Can I come near you now? Will you allow me?”

“Hyung, please, I–” Jungkook wishes they weren’t in the middle of the sidewalk. “I’m so sorry about that, I didn’t mean to say that, I’m–”

“I’m so tired, Jungkook,” Hoseok interrupts him, a fake laugh escaping his lips. “One minute you can’t even look at me and ignore me, the next you tell me I fascinate you. One minute you say you’re amazed by me, the next you yell at me and ask me to not touch you or even come near you. We’re having this hot and cold thing that I can’t handle, JK, I really can’t.”

“I know” Jungkook whines, feeling so ashamed of himself. He’s pathetic. “I know, but I’m so confused and–”

“It’s ok to be confused, it’s not ok to take it out on me. I don’t want to live like this, Jungkook. If that’s how it’s gonna be between us, I would rather not be friends, only work colleagues.”

"No!" Desperation comes through Jungkook and, almost as instinct, he reaches for Hoseok's hand. He almost cries, thankful, when Hoseok doesn't try to push him away. "Don't go, please, please, give me another chance."

"Come on, don't talk like I'm breaking up with you" Hoseok gently lets go of his hands, Jungkook instantly misses the warmth. His hyung's cheeks get slightly pink, something Jungkook would find cute if he wasn't so focused on making Hoseok forgive him.

"I know, it's just…" Jungkook looks at Hoseok's eyes, really does. His heart hasn't stopped beating so fast, and looking at Hoseok so close makes it worse. Everything is so big and deep and devastating when it's about Hoseok. "Hyung, how was it, for you? To understand that you liked men."

Jungkook feels his mouth go dry as confusion takes over Hoseok's face. Everything inside Jungkook's head screams for him to run and hide, flight response stronger than ever.

"What does it have to do with any– Oh " Hoseok blinks. "Does it have anything to do with Taehyung? He talked to me, he said you knew. He said–"

"It's not about Tae." Jungkook takes a deep breath. Taehyung was brave. Jungkook promised he would be brave too. "It's about me, hyung."

A very uncomfortable silence surrounds them. It’s not really silent, of course; they’re standing on the sidewalk, even though it’s night, the streets are still loud with cars and people walking around them. Hoseok just looks at Jungkook, mouth slightly open, shock all over his face.

Jungkook regrets even opening his mouth. Maybe now Hoseok finally hates him, if he didn’t already. Hoseok now sees the confusion that he is, how Jungkook knows nothing about anything, how much of a mess he is. Nobody wants a mess. People want things organized and clean and calm, Hoseok loves tidy things, but Jungkook is everything but that. Jungkook is a mess all the time, and nobody wants a mess. Hoseok would never want this mess.

“What the fuck, Jungkook” is what Hoseok finally whispers, after what felt like a lifetime but was probably only a minute. A whole, entire minute.

“I’m sorry” Jungkook doesn’t even know what he’s apologizing for anymore. He just needs Hoseok to forgive him, to not leave now. Especially now. “I’m sorry that I don’t know what is going on with me, that I’m so confused that it makes me act like an idiot, but hyung, I’m so fucking scared.”

“I know” Hoseok says softly and reaches for Jungkook’s hand, holding it so delicately that Jungkook feels like this alone could make him cry.

“I don’t want to be rude with you, but I’m so scared, and when you are around the confusion gets worse because– You are– Because–”

“Because I’m the reason you’re so confused?” Hoseok looks at him with pity when Jungkook confirms.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Kookie. Come here.”

In a single motion, Hoseok brings Jungkook closer and soon is hugging him tight, hiding Jungkook inside his arms. And Jungkook buries himself on Hoseok, hides his face on Hoseok’s neck, tries his best to disappear and forget for a second that everything is a mess. He just focuses on having Hoseok like this, on being surrounded by him. Hoseok smells so good, even after an entire day of work, even after sweating so much during practice, Hoseok has the best scent that Jungkook ever felt. A part of Jungkook wishes he could be this close to Hoseok all the time, that being in his hyung’s arms was a daily basis in his life.

“It’s a very weird moment in your life, Kookie, I know that, so it’s ok to be scared, okay?”

“Okay” is the only thing Jungkook can whisper as an answer. 

“And hyung will help you however he can, right? I promise.”

“Okay” Jungkook sniffs against Hoseok’s neck. He’s not crying, but he’s feeling so sad and lost that he knows he can start crying any moment now. Fuck him for being a crybaby.

“But I really need to go home now, because I’m tired. Will you be fine going home on your own?”

“Okay” Jungkook answers automatically, taking more than he should to properly register Hoseok’s question. “I mean, I’ll be fine.”

“ Huh ” Hoseok breaks the hug to look at Junkook’s face, still holding his arms. “I don’t trust it. You look so lost that I’m afraid you can miss your way home.”

“I’m only lost inside , hyung. I still know where I live.”

“Can I take you to your house?”

Jungkook smiles sweetly and agrees, and soon they’re walking to his house – that is not very close to Yoongi’s house, but they can get there walking in about one hour, if they’re not too slow. Jungkook remembers about his guitar, still in Yoongi's house, but he thinks it’s ok to leave it there for one night. Yoongi won’t be bothered by it. 

While they walk, Jungkook thinks about how good it would feel if he could hold hands with Hoseok; if it wasn’t a weird thing to do, because Jungkook doesn’t want to be weird. He wants to sort out his feelings, to understand what is going on inside his head. To truly accept that suddenly he’s thinking about holding a man’s hand, to be close to him all the time just because he looks so pretty and makes everybody else look boring.

“I can hear you thinking, Jungkook” Hoseok laughs while they keep walking, getting closer to Jungkook’s house. “What is going on inside your head?”

“Everything. All at once.”

“I can imagine” Hoseok sighs. “This is never easy, you know? Finding out that you’re not… That the world is more than what we were taught, and that we’re what people said is wrong.”

Jungkook just nods. There’s a lot he wants to say about this, about all his feelings and how he doesn’t know how to deal with any of them, but he doesn’t want to do it in the middle of the street. He just keeps walking, with Hoseok by his side, and one hour later they’re at his doorstep, facing each other with small smiles on their faces.

“Thank you for that, hyung. I know I don’t deser–”

“Don’t” Hoseok shakes his head. “I don’t wanna hear the end of this sentence. Just glad you arrived safely.” They keep just staring at each other, awkward silence lingering between them. “Well, guess I should be going home now. See you tomorrow at practice!”

With an awkward smile and an even more awkward hand wave, Hoseok leaves, starting to retake the path they just did. Jungkook doesn’t need to think long before running and holding his arm, very delicately, just to have his attention.

“Hobi, wait. You aren’t thinking about going back by foot , are you?” Jungkook frowns. Hoseok lives next to Yoongi, far from Jungkook. He’ll be walking for another hour , that after having a shit day at work and a long and tiresome practice. And bringing Jungkook home just because Hoseok feels sorry for him.

“Well, I really need to take a shower, have dinner, sleep, so…”

“You can stay here today” the invitation skips Jungkook’s lips before it can even have a place inside his brain. Hoseok raises his eyebrows, looking strangely suspicious. 

"I don't know if it's the best idea at the moment, Jungkook…" Hoseok speaks very carefully, choosing each word carefully.

"I have a guest room that you can stay in, and I can lend you comfortable clothes for you to shower and change, and I swear I cook well" Jungkook speaks anxiously, hoping that his hyung will accept, but when he sees hesitation on Hoseok's face, Jungkook takes a deep breath, deciding to put all his feelings into words. "Hobi, I know things are weird, but you had a long day at work, rehearsal wasn't easy, and you walked an entire hour to drop me off just because I'm a mess. All this after I treated you like shit in the club. I can't take anymore feeling guilty for seeing you look sad and unwell, please, I just don't want to feel like that again. Let me do this one thing right, please."

Hoseok sighs, surrendering, and Jungkook can't hold back a huge smile. He guides Hoseok to his house, asking him to follow him to the guest room.

"You live in a big house" Hoseok comments when they reach the room, and he deposits his backpack on the floor, next to the widow's bed.

Jungkook's house isn't even close to the size of the house Hoseok lives in, but certainly, for a 23-year-old who lives alone, Jungkook's house is bigger than expected.

"It was my grandma's" Jungkook replies as he goes through the wardrobe to change the bedding. He recently rewashed all the sheets, so he makes sure to make Hoseok as comfortable as possible. "I'm from Busan, but I moved to Seoul years ago to take care of her when she got really sick. About two and a half years ago she passed away, and I ended up inheriting the house, so... Yeah."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thanks, but she lived a very long, and very good life, so I've come to terms with the loss already" With a slight smile, Jungkook finishes making the bed. "I'll get you shower stuff and clean clothes, I'll be right back."

Jungkook feels a little guilty that he's so happy to have Hoseok spend the night at his place. All he wants is for Hoseok to feel as comfortable as possible; this may be the chance to try, once again, to make their friendship go in a good direction.

He searches his wardrobe for the most comfortable clothes he can find, and as much as he wants something that suits Hoseok, Jungkook's wardrobe consists of baggy black clothes. He ends up opting for a band shirt and old gray sweatpants that no longer fit Jungkook because of the muscles he gained due to the gym, but that should fit Hoseok fine. 

When he re-enters the guest room, Hoseok is sitting on the bed, his gaze fixed on some random spot in the wardrobe, looking completely lost in his own thoughts.

"Here, clean clothes and towel." Jungkook smiles as sweetly as he can. "The bathroom is the second door on the left. I'll make dinner for us, you can take as long as you need, I'll let you know when the food is ready."

Hoseok just stares at Jungkook in silence, his eyes studying the younger's face in such an intense way that it makes Jungkook want to hide, get out of there as soon as possible. It's almost as if Hoseok is discovering something new, something that pleases him, because then he breaks into a sweet smile. "Thanks, JK."

With one last shy smile and not being able to really meet Hoseok's eyes, Jungkook leaves the guest room and goes straight to the kitchen. Jungkook had no plans to have visitors, and as usual his laziness prevented him from going to the market during the week, so his food supply is relatively low, but he manages to find ramen, some vegetables and a piece of tofu that he didn't even remember having bought, but it still looks and smells good.

Whistling the DNA melody, Jungkook puts on his apron and starts cooking a modified and simpler version of yukgaejang , minus the meat because he doesn't have any, but he hopes the tofu will help give the soup an interesting kick.

While letting the water boil over low heat for the vegetables to cook, Jungkook also decides to take a quick shower. After picking up his things, he enters the bathroom of his own bedroom, the main suite of the house. He soaps up quickly, wiping the sweat off his body and feeling refreshed after drying off. When he returns to the kitchen, the water in the vegetables is almost dry, and he quickly starts cooking the ramen and preparing the tofu to finally put everything together in what he hopes will be a perfect soup.

"Hobi-hyung!" Jungkook calls as he sets the table with bowls, spoons and jeotgaraks . "The food is ready!"

It doesn't take more than one minute for Hoseok to appear, hair slightly wet and wearing Jungkook's clothes. As always, Hoseok looks amazing. Jungkook can't help but stare at his hyung and how he always looks cute in whatever he wears. It's rare to see Hoseok this way, in an oversized black shirt and slightly baggy sweatpants, practically like pajamas, but which Hoseok wears like it's the latest fashion.

Jungkook swallows hard, heart racing. His theory that his attraction to Hoseok is due to the older one sometimes seeming too feminine had already been debunked, but especially now, Jungkook can say with certainty that his attraction to Hoseok is gender-independent .

"JK, the food smells so good!" Hoseok says as he approaches the table. Jungkook swallows, trying to pretend that Hoseok's scent isn't amazing, how Jungkook's soap and shampoo smell so much better on Hoseok's skin. Jungkook feels the urge to hug Hoseok, bury his nose in his neck, but he knows he's being crazy. "Wow, and it looks even better! You weren't kidding when you said you cook well."

" Ah , hyung, it's not that much" a good warmth takes over Jungkook's heart and face, making him slightly pink with embarrassment and happiness at the compliment. "I didn't have much food here, this was the best I got today."

"It's perfect, Kookie. Always perfect" Hoseok sighs before sitting down and pouring his own bowl.

They eat practically everything in silence, making little comments now and then; but this time it's not uncomfortable, a welcome silence as they enjoy their food. After they eat everything that Jungkook cooked, Hoseok gets up, starting to collect the dishes.

"Hyung, no need to worry, I'll clean everything."

"Your turn to ease my mind, Jungkook" Hoseok cracks a smile as he takes everything to the sink. "Let me do this as a thank you for sheltering and feeding me."

With a defeated sigh, Jungkook points to Hoseok where his things are, so he can do the dishes. As Hoseok cleans, Jungkook just stares at him, the way he moves easily through Jungkook's kitchen, as if he's known the place for years. The way he bends over slightly to wash and rinse the dishes, the way Jungkook's shirt fits him so well, the way his pants mark Hoseok’s muscles.

"Kookie, you're staring."

"I know" Jungkook whines and runs his hands over his face, trying to focus on anything other than how Hoseok is the most beautiful human being Jungkook has ever seen in his life. "It's hard not to stare, hyung."

"Of course" Hoseok gives an incredulous chuckle, finishing rinsing the last bowl. "How's your mind, huh?"

"A mess" Jungkook sighs and leans against the counter, watching as Hoseok does the same, leaning against the sink. "Until a little over a month ago, I didn't even know that being attracted to men was... A possibility for me, and now..." Jungkook lowers his head, embarrassment preventing him from looking at Hoseok for very long. "I was an asshole to you and Tae-hyung just because I was jealous and didn't know how to deal with it."

"You didn’t handle the situation very well, Jungkook. And that's okay, it's part of growing up, getting to know yourself better." Hoseok moves away from the sink, going over to Jungkook and leaning on the counter next to him. "I, better than many people, know how confusing it is to find out that the world is not what we were taught since we were little. And I know how much it can make us act like idiots, say things we don't want to, because deep down, we are scared and want to run away."

"But I don't want to run away, Hobi" Jungkook finally works up the courage to face Hoseok. "Because it shouldn't be wrong, what I feel. It shouldn't, and I shouldn't be ashamed or afraid. If the best people I know are like that, if they feel it too, it can't be wrong, can it?

"It can’t" Hoseok smiles tenderly at Jungkook, looking proud of what he's hearing. Jungkook feels that, little by little, a weight that he hadn't even realized was on his chest, starts to leave. Very slowly, but leaving. "But you don't have to force yourself into anything right now, JK. Self-acceptance is a process that can be long and messy, so be gentle to yourself, okay? You don't have to do anything about it, or tell anyone until you are ready. And if you never are, that's okay too."

"Okay" Jungkook furrows his brows. He thinks he doesn't want to hide who he is, especially now, from their friends. His band already knows about this, or at least they should because Jungkook was very clear about it earlier, but he thinks that maybe Jimin, even Namjoon and Seokjin should also knows, sometime in the future. Maybe Jungkook will take a while to talk about his interest with his parents and brother, but... He definitely doesn't want to stay hidden forever. "But I don't think it's right to hide forever, I..."

"Don't think about it too much" Hoseok holds Jungkook's hand gently, conveying strength and support. "What is right is what you believe is best for you. For example, very few people know about Jin, he only keeps it among close friends and trusted people. I am very open about everything, anyone knows what I am just looking at me."

"I want to be brave like you, hyung."

"In the world we live in, JK, just staying alive is a fucking act of courage" they both laugh, but there's a bit of pain in both laughs. "I wish I could tell you it's gonna be easy, but I know it won't. But I'll be by your side, supporting you through the whole process."

With a grateful smile, Jungkook looks down at his right hand, which is joined with Hoseok's hand. Without thinking too much, Jungkook brings the back of Hoseok's hand to his lips and places a kiss there, the most intimate gesture he's ever had with his hyung. As usual, Jungkook's stomach flutters, his heart races, and he feels warmer than ever. For the first time since he laid eyes on Hoseok, Jungkook doesn't feel afraid of all the feelings inside him.

"Oh, don't do that!" Hoseok pulls his hand away quickly, and for a second Jungkook freezes, thinking he did the wrong thing, but when he looks at Hoseok, he sees that the older one has a silly smile on his lips, his face completely pink.

"Did I embarrass you, hyung?" Jungkook can't take it anymore, starting to laugh, seeing Hoseok get even redder. "Do I have the ability to embarrass you? Is it real?"

"Of course you can, you overgrown baby" Hoseok rolls his eyes, but continues to maintain a discreet smile. "Some attractions are mutual."

Jungkook's jaw drops. Did he understand right? Hoseok, the Jung Hoseok, literally Jungkook’s queer awakening , did he just say he's attracted to Jungkook? Did this really happen?

Jungkook can't contain his happiness, just thinking that Hoseok might have any interest in him. In a relationship between a man and a woman, this would certainly mean that they would have something . Maybe they would be dating. But what about between two men? Is there a difference? Shit, there's so much Jungkook doesn't know yet, but Hoseok is attracted to Jungkook too!

Is there a possibility that, one day, Jungkook will get even closer to Hoseok? Kissing Hoseok? My god , Jungkook might kiss Hoseok one day! He had never thought about that possibility, but from now on it probably won't leave his mind. It sure must be amazing to kiss Hoseok; he has beautiful, full lips, and if he tastes as good as he smells...

"Okay, stop it now" Hoseok slaps Jungkook's arm, snapping him out of his delusions. "I can see your mind running and thinking what it shouldn’t be thinking; your eyes are too bright."

"You find me attractive" is all Jungkook manages to say, smiling smugly.

"Of course I do. You have a mirror, Jungkook, you know very well that a lot of people find you attractive."

"I don't care about other people, I care about you."

"This has to stop" Hoseok points an accusing index finger at Jungkook's face. "You're still a little gay baby, Jungkook, you barely understand your queerness , you shouldn't go out flirting with guys like that."

"I'm not flirting with guys , hyung, I'm flirting with you ."

"And this isn't going anywhere for now because that wouldn't do either of us any good" Hoseok says so seriously that Jungkook understands right away that, right now, a line is being drawn. And Jungkook will respect it. "You still have a lot more to understand about yourself before anything can happen between the two of us."

Jungkook nods in agreement. But he can't contain a small spark that ignites inside him.

"Can anything happen between us?" Jungkook looks into Hoseok's eyes, a very brave act for him, but it's starting to get easier. Recognizing and accepting one's feelings can work miracles, apparently.

"Never say never" Hoseok smiles and shrugs. "JK, do you have a phone? I wanted to call Namjoon and let him know I'm not coming home. He might be worried if I don't show up."

With the perfect excuse to end the conversation, Jungkook just nods and shows Hoseok where the phone is. Hoseok makes a quick phone call and, since it's relatively late, both of them go to their own room, finally laying down to sleep.

Jungkook has a hard time falling asleep, of course. Mind racing, he thinks back to the conversations he's had with Hoseok, the fact that, yes, Jungkook is romantically interested in him, that Hoseok has some sort of interest in Jungkook, that Jungkook is a queer person, that... so many things to think about, that Jungkook decides not to think at all.

It takes a while, but when Jungkook manages to fall asleep, he does so with a smile on his face. He can't wait to tell Taehyung how brave he's been.

***

One week left until the performance at Chumchuneun Jwi. They already had one performance at another bar last week, and it was a complete success, the crowd loved them. But Chumchuneun Jwi is the one they’re really anxious for. The entire band is on edge, rehearsing like crazy and making sure every little detail is perfect. With five completely perfectionist members, any minor mistake can easily become a reason for arguments – which, at this point, makes no sense or is worth it. In the days that follow, their focus has basically been rehearsing and trying not to kill each other.

And, in the midst of it all, Jungkook is still on his queer self-discovery journey .

It didn't take long for him to talk to more clearly Yoongi, but it's only been two days since he told every thing to Jihae about how he's definitely not straight – even if he still doesn't quite understand whether he's gay, like Taehyung, or bisexual, like Hoseok. Of course, both reacted extremely well to his confession – he had already almost shouted the possibility, after all –, especially Yoongi, who sat down with Jungkook and had a long talk about self-love and self-acceptance, and about how he should be careful about whatever was happening between him and Hoseok.

"I mean, the way you were looking at Hobi when I first brought him over kind of gave you away" Jihae chuckled, turning Jungkook completely red, before breaking into a sweet smile. "Noona will always support you, JK. And I bet Ji– wait, can I tell Jimin?"

"I... Maybe we can wait a bit, noona?" Jungkook swallows hard. It's not that he doesn't trust Jimin, au contraire . But right now it all seems too much, and he needs to be given a small room to breathe. "I want to tell him, I'm sure Jimin-hyung will be very supportive, but..."

"You don't need to explain yourself, Jungkookie. Don't worry. When you're ready, we'll talk to him" Jihae nods, still smiling, allowing Jungkook to breathe easier.

Not just within Overdose, but Hoseok also asked Namjoon and Seokjin to help Jungkook on this journey of self-discovery. Even though they weren't that close yet, Jungkook quickly understood the importance of having different views of different queer journeys. Like Seokjin’s, who was not openly gay, and only a few very close people knew about his reality, since as a chef and restaurant owner, Seokjin would rather keep a low profile. Or Namjoon, who didn't go out announcing it to the world, but didn't mind talking about it if anyone asked, and a few people at work knew about his sexuality and relationship status. And how, regardless of how Jungkook was going to handle it, all options were valid.

Also, it was a big help that at the same time that Jungkook was going through so many changes and learning so much new stuff, he had Taehyung by his side, experiencing the same struggles. Unlike Jungkook, Taehyung tried to talk much more openly about what he was discovering, about his preferences. Hoseok is his role model, after all.

But perhaps the most important in all this short time has been Hoseok's support. There hasn't been a minute since the confession that Jungkook hasn't had all the support in the world from his hyung, helping him clear his head when clouds overwhelm his thoughts and he can't see the light. In those moments, Hoseok became the sun for Jungkook.

But now, even with all his personal problems, Jungkook needs to focus on giving the best performance possible, even if Yoongi, the owner of the house and studio, hasn't arrived for pracice yet.

"How does he manage to be late for a practice at his own house?" Jihae clenches her teeth, a little nervous about being ten minutes late. It's not a long wait time, but in the stressful situation everyone is in, every second counts.

"Maybe that's why he gave each of us a copy of the garage’s key" Taehyung shrugs, fingers lightly strumming the bass that is not yet connected to the speaker. "We can start without him."

"There's no way I'm playing without my rhythm guitarist." Jungkook shakes his head in denial. "The songs will completely lack any harmony and everyone will be lost."

"You can play the rhythm guitar." Taehyung smirks, and Jungkook knows that right now he's just trying to keep the conversation going.

"And who plays lead guitar, genius?"

"I play" Hoseok smiles and shrugs.

"Since when do you play guitar, hyung?"

"You can teach me, JK" Hoseok raises his eyebrows, the smile turning slightly teasing. "You can be personal my tutor."

Before Jungkook can answer what, in his opinion, was clear flirtation , Yoongi finally shows up for practice. Overall, Yoongi isn't a person who walks around smiling all the time, but especially now he doesn't look happy at all.

"I was going to make a joke about you being late, hyung" Taehyung says, stopping strumming the bass. "But you don't look very happy... What happened?"

"I have good news and bad news" Yoongi sighs as he picks up his own guitar and starts tuning it. "The manager of Chumchuneun Jwi called me over the bar to talk about our presentation, that’s why I am late."

It’s easy to feel how everyone on the band suddenly becomes tense. Jungkook stops whatever he was doing, every unconscious gesture, freezing completely. His pessimistic side thinks that everything went wrong and their gig got canceled. Shit , if this really happened, Jungkook will need a few minutes or hours to recover. Chumchuneun Jwi is the city's biggest up-and-coming bar, the best place for up-and-coming bands to perform to get at least a few more gigs around Seoul.

"Spit it out already, Yoongi!" Jihae says after the too-long silence that follows.

Yoongi sighs deeply. "On the day we're going to present, a Hivee scout will be there looking for new talent."

"What?!" Jungkook screams, being followed by all the other members. Hivee Entertainment is one of the biggest, if not the biggest, music company in South Korea. An opportunity to perform for one of their scouts is something most bands never dream of getting, so just that possibility is sure to completely change everything they expected from these small gigs.

"Hyung, this is amazing!" Taehyung smiles excitedly.

"That was the good news. Of course, not everything is sunshine and rainbows" Yoongi rolls his eyes, but the smiles still haven't died on everyone's faces. Yet . "Because of that, two more bands will perform that same day, and we'll only be able to perform three songs."

"What?!" Jihae gets up from the drums, gripping the drumsticks too tightly. "We had the whole night booked! We were going to perform a full set list, over ten songs!"

"We've been rehearsing this set list for months , we promoted it by putting up posters all over the city, everything was perfect, and now they want us to change it? With a week to go?!" Jungkook crosses his arms, bothered by the new information.

"Did they say anything else, hyung?" Hoseok is the one who tries to remain calm, but his voice doesn't hide his anger.

"Only that we'll have to share the stage with two other bands, Placebo and Trance of Ambiguity" Yoongi rolls his eyes. "Us and Placebo are going to perform three songs each, and this Trance of Ambiguity is going to perform six because apparently they're special ."

"Translation: bribery" Taehyung also rolls his eyes, going back to strumming the bass, a gesture that generally helps him calm down.

"Trance of Ambiguity?" Hoseok speaks a little lower, but still loud enough to be heard by everyone. Jungkook notices that Hoseok seems to freeze, suddenly nervous. "Are you sure that was the name they gave you, hyung?"

"It's a pretty stupid name, so yeah, I'm sure" Yoongi looks a little suspicious and worried about Hoseok's reaction. "Why, Hob-ah?"

"Because it's the band I was lead singer of" the revelation leaves everyone frozen, complete silence in the garage. "The one that kicked me out with the arrival of the new guitarist."

The silence that follows is heavy, carrying an air neither of them likes. The mere idea that they will have to 'face' Hoseok's former band weighs heavily on everyone.

"Great, in addition to having our time cut short, the band with three gay men is going to have to face a band of queer haters ." Taehyung whispers, but in the deafening silence that ensued, his speech is too clear.

Something is starting to boil inside Jungkook's stomach. The simple idea of being in the same room as the guys who kicked Hoseok out of the band just out of prejudice, that alone is enough for Jungkook to feel the purest hatred within himself.

Jungkook doesn't know anyone from Trance of Ambiguity, but he hates every member of the band. He hates the god tier guitarist for demanding Hoseok's expulsion as a condition for joining the band. He hates the other band members for accepting this, for not even thinking about Hoseok. Jungkook hates them all, and just the thought of being in the same room with them is enough to make Jungkook feel like he's going to explode.

"No" he says almost randomly, and everyone stares at him. "I don't want to perform at Chumchuneun Jwi ."

"What?" Yoongi blinks, not believing what he just heard.

The entire band stares at him like he's crazy, and Jungkook tries not to look directly at Hoseok before continuing, "I don't want to perform at the same place as this other band. I won't."

"Jungkook, can you hear yourself?" Jihae narrows her eyes. She doesn't look angry, but she doesn't look happy either. "Do you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth?"

"Loud and clear" Jungkook unplugs his own guitar and places it on its base. "It's my decision."

"It's not your decision, Jungkook" Yoongi frowns. "We are a band, you don't make decisions alone."

"Well, I'm not going to be in the same place as the people who hurt Hoseok-hyung" Jungkook says firmly. This is his final decision, and he hopes the entire band understands that. "I can’t stand the sight of them, so don't make me do it."

"Jungkookie..." Hoseok speaks quietly, eyes shining worried in Jungkook's direction.

"I can't, hyung" Jungkook's gaze implores Hoseok to understand his decision. "I won't make it knowing that the people who hurt you will be there, getting everything they want. I can't."

"It doesn't have to be like this" Hoseok approaches Jungkook and holds both of his hands. "You know it doesn't have to."

"I don't know how I'm going to act if I see these people."

"Kookie, it's okay. Everything's okay."

"I'll make myself some coffee" Yoongi lets out a loud sigh, but Jungkook can't look at anything but Hoseok. "Tae, Jihae, let's go inside, help me with this, will you?"

After Yoongi's not-so-discreet cue, Hoseok and Jungkook are left alone. Jungkook knows that Hoseok will try to convince him that he's being unreasonable, that they need to be part of the show because it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for Overdose, they've been rehearsing for this for so long. Jungkook can't throw everything away like that. Jungkook’s logic part is quite aware of all this, but his feelings always win. Always.

Especially now. 

Jungkook knows that he will feel at least uncomfortable if they go to this performance. What if he can't get his feelings under control and screws up? What if his anger is stronger than him and Jungkook screws up one of the band's rare chances?

"Hey, JK" Hoseok smiles at him. "Can you look at me?" it takes a while for Jungkook to realize that he wasn't looking at Hoseok anymore, his gaze lost in some random spot on the wall, his mind far away. "You know we need to do this gig."

"I can't, hyung."

"Of course you can" Hoseok smiles carefree, confident. "You are my Jungkook, my Jungkook can do anything."

"That's not true and you know it, there are a lot of things I can’t do."

"JK" Hoseok takes a deep breath, his expression getting more serious. "We have to do this. We have to face this challenge."

"These people hurt you, hyung!" Jungkook doesn't understand why it's so hard for others to see how this is a problem, why this is such a big problem. "They hurt you and they didn't even care!"

“I’m used to it, Jungkook.”

“Being used to it doesn’t make it right.”

"I know" Hoseok's smile is sad. "That's why I need this, Kookie. I need to show them how much better I am, the amazing band I'm in, how now I have a lead guitarist who is the most amazing person I've ever met in my life. Someone who I like so, so much ."

"Hobi…" Jungkook whispers, his heart racing wildly.

"Please, Kookie" Hoseok gets even closer, putting their foreheads together. Jungkook is now impossibly close to Hoseok, and he knows that a short gesture would be enough to bring their lips together. "I need to show them how much better I am, but I don't want to do it without you. It doesn't make sense without you."

Jungkook takes a deep breath, and Hoseok's proximity allows him to smell Hoseok's wonderful scent, a sweet vanilla that is nowhere near excessively sweet , and somehow manages to calm Jungkook's temper. He closes his eyes, losing himself in Hoseok, and brings his hand to his hyung's face. Hoseok's skin is soft and delicate, and Jungkook's thumb lightly caresses Hoseok’s cheek.

"Okay" he whispers, finally opening his eyes again to find Hoseok looking into his eyes, deeply. "We're doing this gig."

"Okay" Hoseok smiles, leaning his head lightly against Jungkook's hand, enjoying the affection.

"For you" Jungkook smiles without stopping stroking Hoseok's face.

"Thank you, JK" Hoseok takes Jungkook's hand, bringing it to his lips, placing a kiss on each of his knuckles. "Shall we have coffee with them?"

Jungkook would rather stay here, alone with Hoseok, having this moment that has become so intimate, but he agrees, and makes a point of holding Hoseok's hand as they walk into Yoongi's house.

***

The entire band is backstage at Chumchuneun Jwi . Backstage is a strong word – the venue is nothing more than a large hallway where people squeeze together while waiting to be called onstage.

Placebo has just stepped on stage, and their first few notes begin to play. Even though the acoustics backstage aren't the best, Jungkook can hear enough to know they're good, but not amazing. Modesty aside, they don't even come close to Overdose.

" Fake Love, DNA, Fire " Jungkook hears Jihae whispering the sequence of songs they decided to use for today's performance.

Fake Love is the perfect way to kick off the show, captivating the crowd early on, so DNA can get everyone pumped and hook the crowd so they want more and more of Overdose. And, to finish leaving the crowd wanting more, Fire will close the show, just so that the audience is curious to see more and more of the band. Even with just three songs, the perfect performance.

Around Jungkook, each member of the band is trying to relax their nerves in their own way. Jungkook smiles, looking at his bandmates and how amazing they all are. Everyone is wearing their best clothes, which is very characteristic and shows how completely different the personalities of the five are. Also, Hoseok made sure everyone wore makeup, even if it was as light as possible. Jungkook did the most basic makeup possible, just to hide some skin blemishes. The only ones with makeup to draw attention are Hoseok and Taehyung, who decided to play with glitter in their eyes.

Hoseok is wearing his with a shiny lip gloss, which gives the impression that his lips are constantly wet and inviting. Just like Taehyung, Hoseok's eyes are painted with glitter, in addition to being outlined with dark eyeliner, leaving his look mysterious and flashy.

Once again, Hoseok is wearing a crop top that leaves his belly visible, to which he attached a delicate, thin gold chain, which makes Hoseok look like something out of a teenage dream – or maybe it's Jungkook's dream , specifically.

"That turned out really nice" Jungkook says and lightly runs his finger along the chain that hugs Hoseok's bare waist, just lightly touching his skin. "It was an amazing touch on your outfit."

"It's not a good idea to tease the band's lead singer before going on stage, you know?" Hoseok pulls away from Jungkook's hand, but a goofy smile plays on his lips.

"I'm not teasing, I'm just praising your aesthetic sense, hyung" Jungkook also smiles, a little more teasing than he'd like to admit. "You're the most beautiful of us all, and you make sure to make it obvious to everyone, don't you?"

"Me, the most beautiful?" Hoseok rolls his eyes. "Seriously, you've seen Taehyung, right?"

"Hyung!" Jungkook places his hand on his chest, pretending to be offended. "You were supposed to say that I'm the most beautiful!"

" Nah , Hobi-hyung never lies" Taehyung comes out of absolutely nowhere between them, laughing at Jungkook. "Thanks for the Most Beautiful in the band title, hyung!"

Before Jungkook can answer with all his sarcasm, the backstage door opens and four people enter, with their own instruments in hand (except for the drummer, of course, who only brings his drumstick case).

The newcomers look like rock , or what television, radio and newspapers sell as rock. They have long hair that looks slightly dirty and messy, they use dark eyeliner to contour their eyes, similar to what Hoseok is using, but without precision or delicacy in its application. The black clothes are torn in strategic spots to show off the sloppy, old tattoos. The man leading the group carries his guitar in a leather case that is on his back. His face is serious and framed by the most diverse piercings.

"Hobi?" one of the men, who is probably the drummer, speaks as soon as they get close enough to Jungkook's band. "Is it you?"

"Hey, Kyunggu" Hoseok speaks a little softly, looking a little embarrassed. "I heard you guys were playing here too."

"Are you with a band here?" Kyunggu raises his eyebrows, curious.

"Yes, I'm part of Overdose now."

"No kidding" the man with the piercings, who led the group as they entered, smirks. "Did the faggot get a little group that took pity on him?"

Ever since he learned that he would be sharing space with Trance of Ambiguity, Jungkook knew that he would probably be unable to contain his own anger when he faced the people who had done Hoseok harm. He knew he would hate them right off the bat, because even without meeting any of them, Jungkook already did. He knew that nothing good could come of this meeting.

"What the fuck did you just say?!" without even thinking, Jungkook took two long steps forward, facing the motherfucker and pulling him close by his collar. "Say it again, you little shit. Say it!"

Jungkook is sure that, one-on-one, he could win the fight against the asshole. Easy . His voice is nothing more than a growl, and all he thinks is how he wants to punch this guy's face.

"Looks like you got a guard dog, Hobi " the man says with a wry smile, Hoseok's nickname slipping between his lips with disgust. "Go one, big boy, hit me. That's all I need, you and your shitty little band kicked out of Chumchuneun Jwi so we can have your showtime."

What Jungkook wants the most is to throw it all to thin air because this guy deserves to be punched, for sure. But he would never do that to his band. Taking a deep breath, Jungkook lets go of his collar, lets him go for now.

"Good boy" Still, the way the asshole says it keeps making Jungkook's blood boil… Overall, Jungkook is not a violent person, but he would certainly make an exception for this idiot. "If you'll excuse us, we have a show to get ready for. Be aware of your singer, you never know who fucked his throat last night."

This time, Taehyung and Yoongi need to physically hold Jungkook down, so he doesn't end up really punching the asshole and blowing their performance. The assshole is the first to leave, followed quickly by the rest of the band, leaving only Kyunggu, who stares at Hoseok with something close to guilt and regret.

"I'm so sorry, Hobi" Kyunggu speaks in a low voice so only they can hear. "Ilsung is a dick."

"I know" Hoseok shrugs and smiles. "Everything is fine."

"I'm really sorry" Kyunggu bows to Hoseok and the rest of Overdose before walking away from them and heading off with his own band.

"So, that happened" Hoseok turns to them and opens a shy smile. "I'm sorry you guys had to see this."

"You're sorry?" Yoongi sounds unbelieving. " You are sorry? Hob-ah, he should be the one apologizing for being a fucking asshole, that piece of shit."

"Fuck him, that queer hater piece of shit." It's rare for Taehyung to get this mad, but even he sounds like he could punch Ilsung at any moment. Great, more people helping Jungkook to do justice.

"The parts of his body I'm going to stick my drumsticks in when this damn show is over..." Jihae speaks so low, so menacingly, that a shiver runs down Jungkook's spine. He really likes this girl.

"He's an asshole, but we don't need to worry about him" Hoseok shrugs, and Jungkook thinks it's crazy how he doesn't seem affected by everything Ilsung said. Hoseok wasn’t kidding when he said he’s used to this kind of stuff. Something inside Jungkook’s heart breaks a little. "Our answer to him is going to be onstage, making the audience go wild. That's just what I need, to show them what they lost."

This ends up being Jungkook's main motivation when going up on stage. Of course, he can't forget that the Hivee's scout is in the audience, looking for the perfect band, but in his selfishness, all Jungkook wants most is to make Ilsung swallow all the bad words he said to Hoseok. Makes him bitterly regret getting Hoseok kicked out of the band. Let Ilsung see what a piece of shit his band is without Hoseok.

Once onstage, all Jungkook cares about is putting on the best show possible. In the audience he can see Jimin, jumping excitedly, and Seokjin and Namjoon, singing all the songs along with them. On stage, Jungkook jumps around, interacts with every member he can, does his guitar solos without a single mistake.

And Hoseok, of course, captivates everyone with his firm and smooth, low and high, perfectly adaptable to Overdose's song's voice. For the first time in a long time, Jungkook thinks of Soohyun. If he ever sees her again, Jungkook will give her the tightest hug in the world. If Soohyun hadn't quit the band, Jungkook would never have met Hoseok. He would never have known who has become one of the most important people in his life.

Everything goes perfectly, and when they step offstage after Fire , the entire audience starts screaming for an encore. Blood boiling with adrenaline, they embrace each other backstage, fully satisfied with tonight's performance.

"It was perfect!" Jihae can't stop smiling as they pull away after nearly being suffocated in the too-tight hug. "I'm so happy and proud to be a part of this band!"

"I don't even care anymore if the Hivee people don't pick us, did you hear the crowd asking for an encore?!" Taehyung also has a huge smile on his face. Surely everyone has. "We rocked this stage!"

Before they can continue talking and hugging, some screaming noises start to come from inside Chumchuneun Jwi , and soon loud music starts playing. Jungkook furrows his brows, knowing that Trance of Ambiguity has finally taken the stage.

"Should we leave?" Taehyung furrows his brows, also seeming to be uncomfortable with listening to Hoseok’s former band, and the way they apparently already have a loyal fan base.

"We can't, if the Hivee scouts have any interest in us, they'll be looking for us here after the performances. We have to stay."

"Guys, please stop doing this" Hoseok rolls his eyes. "I don't give a fuck what these guys say or think about me. We're going to watch their show just to feel good about how superior we are, okay?"

Laughing, they all make their way to the side of the stage, where they have an okay view of the band. As much as he hates to admit it, Jungkook can't deny that Ilsung is good. Ridiculously good. Probably the best guitarist Jungkook has ever seen in his life. In addition to playing every note perfectly, Ilsung also has a ridiculously good stage presence, captivating the audience all the time, taking all the attention to himself and drawing gasps when he starts his solos.

The vocalist, however, is average – weak, if Jungkook is being honest. The songs are not the best, with shallow lyrics and tiresome rhythm, only the opening song being slightly interesting. In the vocalist's voice, their songs could honestly put someone to sleep if it weren't for the excellent work of the lead guitar. Jungkook manages to smile at that; if the Hivee scout has even the slightest bit of musical sense, he'll know that Trance of Ambiguity is far from the kind of band that is ready to get a record deal.

"The guitar is good" Jihae comments as Trance of Ambiguity leaves the stage, to the audience’s claps and cheers.

"But the vocalist and the songs… terrible" Yoongi shrugs, a sly smile at the corner of his mouth.

"I only knew one of the songs, the first one they played" Hoseok frowns. "I think they changed the repertoire a little bit. A lot. "

"What's up, Hobi " Ilsung's voice invades their space, again Hoseok's nickname spoken with sarcasm, disgust. Anger is reignited inside Jungkook. Now that they've performed, would it do any harm if Jungkook punched the asshole in the face? "See what a real band sounds like?"

"Not yet, what time are they going on stage?" Hoseok raises his eyebrows and looks curiously into the bar, almost innocently. Jungkook and Taehyung laugh louder than they should as Ilsung's face turns red.

"Let's see if you think it's funny when people from Hivee want to close a deal with Trance of Ambiguity" Ilsung opens a smug smile, as if he was superior to everyone in the room. "They'll see what a band made of men is capable of."

"Funny you should say that" Jungkook widens his eyes, forcing himself to look as innocent as possible. If he can’t punch this motherfucker, he’ll at least taunt him. All Jungkook wants is to get that fucking smile off Ilsung’s face. "When are you going to hire a man to be lead guitar then?"

"Shut the fuck up!" Ilsung looks so angry that Jungkook has to stop himself from laughing out loud. It's all too easy to offend men with fragile egos, Jungkook is learning. "I bet you're just another fag who spends too much time sucking dick to properly practice playing the guitar."

"Don't talk nonsense, Ilsung" Jungkook rolls his eyes, feigning complete disinterest in the matter. "I can suck dick and practice guitar, it's called being organized ."

Before Ilsung can retort with his usual prejudice vomit , someone clears their throat loudly, catching everyone's attention. The owner of Chumchuneun Jwi is there, his brows furrowed, staring at the two arguing guitarists. Next to him is a tall man, wearing casual clothes and round glasses.

"This is Bang Sungki, the scout from Hivee Entertainment" Instantly the mood gets more tense, and Jungkook quickly makes an almost ninety degree bow, then straightens his spine and tries to adopt a serious posture.

"Hello, everyone" Sungki opens a friendly but serious smile. Jungkook frowns, not quite understanding how someone can smile seriously . Maybe it's just a professional smile. "I would like to congratulate you all for the presentations, the three bands were very good. It is clear how you're really doing your best to pursue your professional dream."

Everyone smiles at the clichéd and boring speech. But, if in order to have the possibility of a contract with one of the biggest entertainment companies in South Korea they have to listen to this nonsense, so be it. Jungkook can listen to it for hours and hours.

"But I have to say that I am very interested in talking to the leader of Overdose" Sungki looks directly at them, and Jungkook's heart flutters. "Which of you would it be?"

Jungkook and Taehyung give Yoongi a slight push, who looks at them terrified before taking a deep breath and smiling "Looks like it’s me. Nice to meet you, I’m Min Yoongi."

"I reserved a table for you at the back of the hall, follow me" the owner of the place says and Yoongi, after throwing a desperate and excited look at his friends, follows him, disappearing from sight.

"My god" Jihae puts her hand over her heart. "Guys, is this real?"

"Relax" Ilsung's ironic voice sounds mockingly. "He's probably just going to talk about how you guys still have a lot to improve before trying to compete with the grown-ups ."

"I swear, man" Jihae narrows her eyes in his direction. "I've got two drumsticks. One I'll stick down your throat, the other up your ass. So fuck off before it truly happens."

This time, even Ilsung's band starts laughing. Even though he looks completely disgusted, Ilsung at least has the decency to remain quiet this time.

Everyone starts chatting randomly, talking about how the show was, their main impressions, what they could have done better, until Jungkook feels a hand holding his, and turns around to see Hoseok, who looks more nervous than everyone there.

"Are you okay, hyung?" Jungkook speaks more quietly so that only Hoseok can hear.

"Nervous" Hoseok holds Jungkook's hand a little tighter, but not enough to hurt. "Will he want to sign us?"

"Whatever it is, can you believe we managed to get the attention of a scout?" Jungkook brings Hoseok's hand to his lips, depositing a tender kiss on its back. "And all because of you."

"It's a band effort."

"I know, but I like kissing your ass."

"Literally?" Hoseok wiggles his eyebrows.

"I–" before Jungkook can think of something to answer – because honestly he has no idea what to say to this – Yoongi and Sungki are back, after probably the fastest business conversation in the world.

"See you next week then?" Sungki smiles at Yoongi, seeing the boy confirm with a nod. "Great. See you next week, Overdose."

"Wait, what?" Jihae talks too loudly, catching everyone's attention. "Are you going to see us next week?"

"Yoongi-ssi will explain further, but I want to show a little more of your sound to our producers and directors, so let's meet at our studio next week, talk about future business" Sungki laughs the jaws of every Overdose member drops.

"This is a joke, right?" Ilsung's voice is the first to break the moment of shock. "You want this band? When y'all got Trance of Ambiguity? I'm a thousand times better than their shitty lead guitar player."

Jungkook rolls his eyes, not really offended. Technically, he's not wrong; Ilsung is better than Jungkook at guitar, there's no doubt about that. But absolutely everything else about the guy is completely rotten, so Jungkook can't even see him as a threat.

"You're a superb guitar player, but your band’s lyrics and vocals still need a lot, a lot of work. At the moment, Hivee Entertainment is looking for bands that are more rounded and don't need as much training. But stay tuned to try out for an audition next year." the way Sungki speaks is totally professional, so much that Jungkook is a little jealous of how well he uses his words. It doesn't even look like he just humiliated Trance of Ambiguity.

"And you want a faggot band ? Are you fucking kidding?"

"None of their personal lives is my business, sir. And if you're not romantically interested in any of them, it shouldn't be any of your business either. If you'll excuse me."

With a last smile for Overdose, Bang Sungki leaves the bar, accompanied by the owner. Without saying another word, Ilsung leaves Chumchuneun Jwi stamping his feet like a kid, being quickly followed by his entire band. Within minutes, only Overdose is still backstage, completely alone. The five of them with the biggest smiles anyone can sustain.

"Hyung!" Taehyung grabs both of Yoongi's hands, pulling him closer, eyes gleaming crazily. "What else did he say?"

"He... He loved our songs, said that they are all very well produced, that our stage presence is amazing, that the lyrics are touching, that Hobi has an angelic voice and that we might come to their studio to have a formal audition next week" Yoongi says everything without even breathing, unable to contain the huge smile that opens on his face. He grabs Taehyung's hands and literally starts jumping. "We can have a record deal!"

Yoongi's excitement quickly rubs off on everyone, and the five of them start jumping up and down and hugging each other in celebration. Even though it's still not a guarantee, it's the first time they've even gotten an audition, an opportunity , especially at a company as big as Hivee.

Amidst the craziness of celebrations, Hoseok hugs Jungkook tightly and, without thinking too much, Jungkook grabs Hoseok's waist and lifts him easily, starting to spin him in the air. It's amazing, hearing Hoseok's laughter, which makes Jungkook's heart beat so fast; which has been happening since Hoseok first stepped into Yoongi's studio.

When he puts Hoseok back on the ground, Jungkook can't help but notice how Hoseok's face is slightly pink. His hair is messed up in a way that makes him incredibly sexy. Hoseok's lips are stretched into a big, beautiful, heart-shaped smile that makes Jungkook's legs feel a little wobbly.

Again, for what seems like the thousandth time in the last few days, Jungkook feels the crazy urge to kiss him.

And, for the first time, Jungkook does.

With his hands still on Hoseok's waist, Jungkook brings him closer and seals their lips. Everything goes silent, and suddenly, in the world there are only Jungkook and Hoseok, who have tutti-frutti-flavored lips. Hoseok, who initially looks scared, but soon surrenders, wraps Jungkook's neck and deepens the kiss even more. Hoseok, who runs his tongue over Jungkook's lips and then invades his mouth, letting their tongues meet and dance together in perfect sync. And Jungkook? Jungkook just feels dizzy, from spinning around so much, from getting intoxicated on Hoseok.

When they separate, Jungkook notices that, in fact, everything is silent, because his three other friends just watches them kissing with big smiles on their faces.

"Kookie..."

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry for kissing you without asking first," Jungkook smiles. "But the truth is, I am not. But if it makes this any better, I'm really sorry that I'm not sorry."

"Shut up" Hoseok whispers, smiling before pulling Jungkook in for one more breathtaking kiss.

"Okay, lovebirds" Jungkook is physically forced to separate from Hoseok when Yoongi pushes them away. "We need to go back now, we have a lot to discuss about our future audition. Then Hob-ah can sleep at Jungkook's house and you can kiss as much as you want."

Jungkook looks at Hoseok, hopeful, wishing too much that this is true. Hoseok rolls his eyes, and gives Jungkook a wink, raising his hopes even more. The band quickly gathers all the instruments and, as they walk home together, Jungkook makes sure to hold Hoseok's hand the entire way back.

***

"Jungkook, we need to go" Hoseok whines, trying to get Jungkook off of him.

"But I don't want to" Jungkook just whines, his face hidden in Hoseok's neck, officially his favorite place in the entire world. Few things make Jungkook as happy as snuggling up to Hoseok's neck, holding him in his arms and smelling his wonderful vanilla scent.

"Literally the listening party for our debut studio album, Kookie. We are VIPs."

"But when you really think about it, hyung, we've already listened to all the songs" Jungkook laughs when he feels a hard slap hit his arm. "Seriously! We can stay here lying down and no one will notice."

"No one will notice that the vocalist and lead guitarist aren't at the first album release party? Of course" Hoseok rolls his eyes and, once again, tries to push Jungkook away, but the youngest doesn't budge. "Why do you have to be so heavy, huh?"

"It's pure muscle, hyung."

"I know. Come on, get up already, I'll let you shower with me."

"OK!" the thought of washing his boyfriend's hair is enough for Jungkook to jump out of bed in one movement, pulling Hoseok into the bathroom with him.

The hard part is keeping the shower at PG-13, especially considering the way Hoseok moans as Jungkook massages his hair, but Jungkook considers himself a winner when the shower ends without any major events.

They get ready more slowly than they should, given how they’ll probably be late to the launch party for Tear , Overdose's first album. Hoseok, as always, mixes the most unexpected and colorful clothes in the world, and manages to pull off a look that is sure to leave everyone in awe. Jungkook, as usual, puts on black pants, with a black shirt, with black boots. Side by side, they look like complete opposites. Perfect for each other.

The months of dating Hoseok have taught Jungkook that Jungkook doesn't like to wear makeup, unlike his boyfriend. Whenever Hoseok asks him to put some makeup on, Jungkook feels his face itch, with a strange feeling that his skin is dirty, and he urgently needs to wash his face. But, for special occasions, Jungkook let Hoseok put light makeup on him. A party dedicated to his band can be considered a special occasion.

"Ready to be the cutest couple at the party?" Hoseok waggles his eyebrows, and they order a taxi to go to the company.

Hoseok and Jungkook arrive hand in hand, as usual. It took a few months, but Jungkook eventually decided not to hide his relationship with Hoseok; the pride he feels in dating Hoseok is too great to be hidden. Of course, with his family living in another city, maybe Jungkook forgot to tell his parents that he's dating a man, but that's just a detail. One day he will tell everything.

At the company, some people sometimes look down on them, as Jungkook and Hoseok don't try to hide the affection between them when they're in the building. Some think it's a rock people thing , others think it's just gross. Few really don't care, and even fewer support them. At least nobody talks shit to their face.

Now, at the party, most of the people present are from the last two groups. On one hand, even though there are fewer people than Jungkook expected, he is a little relieved. He feels safer to be who he really is.

"Finally you're here!" Yoongi welcomes them with a tight hug, trying to balance the glass of champagne he is holding. "Soon they’ll start playing the album, and you were still missing."

"It's hard to get this one out of bed" Hoseok pats Jungkook on the shoulder twice.

"I don't want details of your sex life, how many times do I have to say this?" Yoongi rolls his eyes and sighs. "Come on, everybody's over here."

In fact, everyone is already in a corner of the room, which has several bean bags on a fluffy rug, with food and drinks, laughing and talking.

"Ah, they're finally here!" Seokjin speaks loudly, raising a glass of champagne. "I haven't seen Hobi in days, and I supposedly live with him!"

"I went to Jungkookie's house yesterday , hyung" Hoseok laughs and lets go of Jungkook's hand, going to Seokjin and giving him a tight hug. "I know it's hard for you to live without me."

"At least that doesn't need to be said" Seokjin rolls his eyes, which should probably be a bored gesture, but it just looks cute. "I can't take this life anymore. My baby Hobi abandons me for his boyfriend who looks like a walking nacho chip , my own boyfriend is now glued to his new nurse friend , all Yoongichi talks about now is that cute girl that helped him with production and he's in love with..."

"Hey, you still got us!" Jimin pouts, being joined by Jihae, who is sitting on his lap.

"Ah, the straight couple . Dreams do come true." It's impossible not to laugh at Seokjin's dramatic manner, especially since he laughs loudly with his own sarcasm.

"I need to help Tae, love" Namjoon places a quick kiss on Seokjin's cheek. "He's going to be my resident soon, and juggling the hospital's schedule with the band's is going to be a big challenge."

"I'm lucky to have the head of nursing on my side" Taehyung flashes him an adorable square smile, but pouts in Seokjin's direction. "I promise I'll stop stealing your boyfriend's attention soon, hyung."

"You don't have to stop paying attention to Joonie, Taetae" Seokjin sighs. "Just pay attention to me too ."

"Fifty thousand won the three of them will turn into a trio-couple" Jihae nudges Hoseok and Jungkook, speaking low enough for only them to hear, making the two laugh.

"I have no idea what a trio-couple is" Jungkook furrows his brows. "But I bet you're right, Jihae. You're always right."

"Did you hear that, Mini?" Jihae pokes her boyfriend. "Kookie recognizes that I am always right."

"Thank you so much for that, Jungkook" Jimin rolls his eyes, placing a quick peck on Jihae's lips. "You are always right, honey. And I'll bet you another fifty thousand won that it’ll happen sooner than we think."

"Ah, I don't even want to imagine the drama I'm going to experience until these three understand that they are in love as a trio..." Hoseok sighs, before pulling Jungkook closer, hugging his waist.

Even though he still doesn't understand much about queer culture or all the academic conversations that happen, Jungkook is trying harder and harder to understand all the terms. He will get there... One day.

They keep talking for some more long minutes, until Bang Sungki calls them to the front of the stage, where they will introduce themselves before the album is played. It's weird for Jungkook to go on stage without his guitar; it feels like he's being watched too deep , and in a sudden urge to hide a little, he positions himself behind Hoseok, pulling him against his chest in a hug that makes the other band members laugh.

Yoongi gives a great speech about Overdose’s history, how it all started with just him wanting to put his thoughts out there, how music helped him so much with that. And how all those people on stage, beside him, became some of the most important people in his life, as well as those who always supported him from afar.

"And it doesn't matter what the future holds for us" Yoongi says looking directly at his bandmates, eyes shining wet. “It doesn't matter if we're going to become the biggest hit in South Korea, if we're going to be a one-hit-wonder band, if nobody but the people here will listen to Tear ” the audience laughs, but Yoongi keeps looking at his band. "I know that as long as I have these guys, this band, I'm in the right place. I'm home."

Jungkook hides his face in Hoseok's shoulder, wetting him with his tears that insist on falling because Yoongi is ridiculously good with words – and Jungkook is ridiculously emotional and such a crybaby. His crying makes the group hug that follows, under the audience’s cheers, a little difficult.

They go back to the same corner they were before as Just Dance , the song that opens Tear , begins. Jungkook tries his best not to look too much at the guests, the audience. He knows the album is good, the songs are amazing, but having a listening party, being able to see everyone's real-time reaction when listening to his music for the first time, is not Jungkook's favorite way to promote the band's album.

"Please, let's never do this again?" Jungkook decides the best way to deal with his shyness is to sit on his boyfriend's lap and try to make himself as small as possible.

"Do what, record an album?" Taehyung laughs, and is joined by everyone.

"Listening party" Jungkook pouts, hiding his face in Hoseok's neck. Finally , his favorite place in the world. "I don’t like watching people listening to the album like that. It makes me, I don't know, anxious."

"We can talk to our producers to think of other ways to promote future albums, Kookie" Hoseok places a lingering kiss on Jungkook's head. "But, just so you know, everyone seems to be loving it."

Jungkook does not contain the smile that the information brings him. The entire album is played, 11 brand-new songs coming from the amazing minds of Yoongi and Hoseok – who is obviously also an excellent songwriter. Yoongi goes up on stage again, alone this time, to thank everyone for coming and ask them to enjoy the party a lot because there's no shortage of food and drink, on the company’s account.

When other songs start to play and the focus stops being so strongly on Overdose, Jungkook finally feels safe enough to leave Hoseok's lap, and the group keeps talking for a long time, until the guests start to leave, the music stops and there's only them still sitting in the same corner.

"That was insane" Yoongi says and looks around at the big (now empty) venue where the official release of the first studio album took place. "Sometimes it's so hard to believe that we actually have a record deal. I never imagined living through something like this."

"Me neither, but at the same time, it seems like life hasn't changed that much" Taehyung shrugs. "I'm still going to graduate in nursing, work in a hospital..."

"That's if you don't become an international success" Namjoon nudges Taehyung, who blushes slightly.

"Would it even be possible?" Hoseok speaks in a slightly dreamy way. "Imagine us, doing shows around the world?"

"It would be amazing..." Jihae also has a dreamy look on her face. "Our life has changed a lot in a short time. Ever since you arrived, Hobi!"

"Me? I didn't do anything" Hoseok gives them a smirk.

"You might not have done anything" Jungkook looks at him with a proud smile. "But we wouldn't have gotten here without you."

"That's true, Hob-ah" Yoongi nods in agreement. "Your voice is a gift from heavens, and I don't think that without you I would be able to be the leader of these three crazy freaks."

"And besides that professional part, hyung, you even helped Jungkookie and I to discover new things about ourselves, open up more, understand ourselves better" In a delicate gesture, Taehyung approaches Hoseok and plants a kiss on his cheek, laughing when Jungkook looks at him with narrowed eyes. By this point, Jungkook is used to Taehyung's way of showing affection, especially towards Hoseok. But sometimes Jungkook still feels a little jealous. "You broke our maknae, Hobi-hyung, in the best possible way."

"Enough of this" Hoseok quickly waves his hand, his face completely red, unable to look at anyone.

"Over a year with Hobi and you still make the poor guy suffer" Seokjin laughs out loud, laying his head on Namjoon's shoulder.

"The poor guy can't handle so much praise at once." Jimin accompanies Seokjin's laughter.

The eight of them only get up when security asks them to move because the cleaning crew needs to clean up there. They walk around the city with no clear destination for some time before splitting up, each heading to their own house, Seokjin and Namjoon making a big deal out of it when Hoseok announces that he is going to spend one more night with Jungkook. When they get home, Jungkook pulls Hoseok under the shower so they can wash off the makeup and sweat from the party night.

Lying in bed, with the lights off, Jungkook sighs. "Are we going to sell enough album copies, hyung?"

"Maybe. I hope so." Hoseok also lets out a sigh and, as he pulls Jungkook closer so that they are snuggled under the blanket, Hoseok places a quick kiss on his boyfriend's neck. "I just hope we're together for a long, long time to come."

Jungkook thinks about Overdose, about Hoseok, and smiles, closing his eyes.

"Me too, hyung. For many, many years indeed."