Work Text:
You don't feel worthy.
You hadn't felt enough for Price, he'd done so much for you and you felt like you were slacking and falling behind.
He would certainly leave you.
Why would he stay with a baby?
Rolling out of Price's warm embrace, you made your way as quietly as possible to the living room of your shared dorm. Price deserved peace, time away from a stupid child like you. An adult who couldn't help but feel like a helpless child.
You didn't even realise you were sobbing, only little kids sob.
You had to prove yourself, prove that you were worthy, that Price can stay and you wouldn't bother him. He was your partner, and eagerly offered himself to be your caregiver, but the fear and dread that someday he'd leave for reason never abandoned you like you hoped. As if it were almost meant to be there.
Soon enough, a small bed was built in the corner of the room, tucked away so that if Price had woken, he wouldn't see you immediately. You wouldn't bother him.
You wanted to bother him, you needed his attention. His love.
You couldn't live without his soothing words and caresses. His ways of cheering you up, his reassurances.
You'd fallen asleep sobbing into a stray shirt of his, it was the closest thing you could get to him, holding yourself back desperately. Why couldn't you be normal, an adult! That's who you were.
An adult. Your time for relying on others was long gone.
The night had felt like years, as if you were orbiting slowly around the sun itself, even further than pluto. With each beat of your heart, each crack widened, new cracks were made, and you crumbled. The only thing keeping you in one piece was the flesh prison you were stuck in. It shouldn't have been given to you, you wasted its potential.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
You had almost forgotten the night before when you awoke, though not to light this time, to the sound of heavy breathing. The breaths that made you feel at home.
Price was there- he sat with his back to you. You had to escape, you couldn't let him see you like this. He was only sat waiting to kick you out, yell at you.
There was never a time your thoughts had settled, and Price knew that. He didn't understand just how you were feeling, but the way his hand snaked around to rest on your knee, his thumb grazing gently over it, giving you the sense he was there.
"Price- sorry, sorry," You begged out, tears forming in your eyes as you began to wail, emotions already on a high. Price turned to embrace you, but you only pushed him away, backing as far into the corner as you could.
"Please, I'll be good! Don't kick me out- I'll be good! I'll be good!" You pleaded, throat swelling up in reaction. Your words were quickly swallowed, choked behind the lump in your throat. Fuck. You'd really fucked up this time.
Though it never gave Price the communication he needed to know what was going on, shuffling back to give you space as his head cocked to the side. Something was obviously wrong, you hadn't any comfort objects with you, no pacifier, not even wearing his shirt! Only clinging to it. There was never a time he ended up waking with empty arms.
"Baby, baby, what's wrong?" He asked, trying to keep his voice as gentle as possible, and your difference in height as close as he could, to make you feel less intimidated. You were involuntarily regressing, fuck!
You couldn't express your emotions verbally anymore, vocal chords turned to mush as your communication soon turned to balling your hands into fists and pounding them into your thighs, nails digging into your face.
Everything seemed like a blur until it all turned tight, the pressure squeezing you in every which way and soon your feet left the ground.
Price had you in a hold, resting you on his cocked hip with one arm tight on your waist and the other under your bum, holding you close to him and bouncing you softly; your brain was so foggy that you didn't even realise the soft melody he had begun to sing.
"Twinkle, Twinkle.. Little one, how I wonder, where you've gone.."
You and Price had twisted the nursery rhyme slightly, making it more personal and able to connect to it more. His voice was a low rumble, an avalanche of clouds that gently drifted your eyes shut, putting you at peace. He hated seeing you so worked up.
"Daddy doesn't know what's going on, but he has you, okay? You're his little pup, he never wants you to leave, you're doing so good, such a good kid for him.. Never want anyone else, my perfect little one.."
It's as if he knew exactly what was going on inside your head, how to shoo those demons away and replace them with himself. Your big bear, always cradling you close.
"Daddy's got you today, rest now, little one.. You'll get cranky."
Never once did he let you go that day, tucking you in his shirt and securing you so that you were always pressed against him, his hands running over you and reassuring you that you were his, he wanted and needed you.
His little one