Work Text:
Honami occasionally works for Kande. The latter was too frail to do things on her own, so Honami decided to become a housekeeper for her. She’d continue to work for two years and only until then, did she realize she caught feelings. Every time she caught herself thinking about the girl, she’d shake it off and try to focus on whatever she was doing. But, just how could she focus when she imagines Kanade’s long silver hair, draped on her shoulders, and ocean blue eyes, as she composes a song? Since she was a drummer for a band, she knew she had to focus hard. Unfortunately, she kept messing up her rhythm every band practice. Her bandmates soon found out she’d been worrying about her confession. So as an ultimatum, she decides to finally confess after holding off such feelings.
The final note played, and band practice ended. Before Honami could store her drums, she sat still, thinking about what to say for her confession later. She decided to just say her confession instead of writing it as she thought it was insincere.
Sooner or later, her bandmate called out to her, snapping her out of her thoughts. The group walked outside and headed to a diner for a small celebration. Another one of her bandmates comments on how they should do more celebrations like this, explaining that “It encourages us to practice harder.” Her other two bandmates simply laughed at the excuse of hanging out with each other more. Before they could get to the diner, she unexpectedly meets Kanade with someone else. It took Honami a while to realize who the other person was. It was her upperclassmen, Mafuyu, and for some reason, she was out walking with the silver-haired girl. It was rare for the feeble girl to go outside, but it was even rarer for her to go outside with someone else. Honami shrugged her suspicions off, and greeted the two with the rest of the band following. It didn’t take long for Honami to ask Kanade where she was headed.
“I’m out on a date.” Kanade said as her eyes shifted away from Honami.
That was when it clicked. Maybe more like shattered to Honami. How coincidental, that she’d confess later but someone came first. Even worse is the fact she personally knows who Kanade’s with. Honami tried not to burst into tears as she started talking. She wanted to congratulate them, but saying anything just felt impossible for her.
Once the conversation was over, she looked down, trying to rearrange her thoughts. “Should I bother working for Kanade tonight? What should I say to her? Is it even worth confessing at this point?” She asked herself so many questions. Before her tears started to fall, she ran back home as fast as she could. Immediately after getting home, she texted her band an apology for her sudden action before running upstairs, towards her room. There she sat on her bed, looking out the window, imagining how she could be watching the stars with Kanade.
After a while of reflecting, Honami gathered herself as she walked towards Kanade’s place. She stood on her doorstep for a while, still asking herself if it’s even worth being here. Before she could finally reach out to the door knob, Mafuyu opens the door with a garbage bag on the other hand. Honami excuses herself before entering the house. There she saw Kanade sitting, while composing something. Kanade looked over to her as an acknowledgement before she could write that final note. Whenever Honami arrived at Kanade’s home, the latter was always in her room. “Looks like Mafuyu has changed you.” Honami thought to herself.
Honami didn’t delay any further, and she started working. However, she was almost as instantly informed to not do any chores but cook dinner. She didn’t mind too much since it was a burden taken off her and of course she’d be grateful, but she’d do anything for Kanade. Perhaps she did mind. She looks back at Kanade and asks why, with her simply saying with a smile, “Mafuyu’s done most of it.” It hurt her. Although she can’t blame Kanade, she doesn’t know that yet.
Honami took off her apron, and served the couple. She stood beside them, waiting for instructions on what to do next. She tried being hopeful, but every glance at Mafuyu just sucks her hopes out. It’s not like Honami hated Mafuyu, she just couldn’t bring herself to look at Mafuyu the same way anymore. To her, Mafuyu would be known as Kanade’s lover and nothing else would change that.
Minutes of awkward silence later, Kanade decides to finally dismiss Honami for tonight and meet her again next week. They wouldn’t be seeing each other again for a whole week. That thought echoed through Honami, so she went home to rid of it.
Rain started to pour down as Honami walked towards the bus stop. She had an umbrella, but didn't bother using it.
“Don’t you think something’s off with her?” Mafuyu asks, right after Honami leaves.
“No..?” Kanade replies, a bit confused.
As far as Kanade could tell, not much was different about Honami. “Well, maybe she seemed a little down, but that was it.” She thought. Mafuyu never really asks questions like that, which prompts Kanade to ask why she thinks that.
“Don’t you think…” Mafuyu pauses.
“She loves you too?”
Taken aback, Kanade rests her fork on her plate. “Why would she love me?” She asks herself, before thinking about what had happened in the past few days she was with Honami.
Was she more clingy?
More compliant?
More caring?
Yes. Yes she was.
It took a while to realize, but when she did, she immediately got off her seat. She ran off to her door, slamming it open, only to be greeted by the hard pouring rain. Before she could go running off without an umbrella, Mafuyu holds her back and hands her one.
---
Kanade continued to call for Honami while out in the rain. She was about to give up, until she finally saw her across the street. With one last call of her name, she turns towards Kanade. Honami kept her head low. She didn’t bother running. Perhaps she took this moment to finally tell her. Before Honami could speak however, Kanade interrupts.
“I know you love me too.” Kanade starts.
“I’m sorry I only noticed now.” She pauses.
Honami sighs. She smiles a little, relieved that Kanade knew. But she knows it’s never gonna be a happy ending for her.
“I loved you,” Honami looks up.
“But you never loved me back.”