Work Text:
There’s a pretty arrangement of flowers on Ruki’s desk when he gets to class. Purple-blue morning glories, dotted throughout with white baby’s breaths, wrapped in clear plastic and tied with a perfect bow. Being one of the most sought-after people at school, Ruki is no stranger to finding love letters or even small gifts on his desk, but it is the first time he’s gotten an actual bouquet. He picks it up and places it carefully on the floor next to his backpack, thinking about how he should put it into a vase later, after he gets home.
It’s a well-known fact that Ruki is not the type to throw away anything he gets from his admirers, which makes him even more attractive to them. If you ask Ruki, he’ll tell you that although he doesn’t really care for the letters and gifts, he would feel bad if he threw them away, because since he can’t return his pursuers’ feelings, the most respectful thing he can do is to accept the gifts and keep them well so that the time and energy people put into them are not completely wasted.
The bouquet piques Ruki’s interest, though. It’s small – there are five morning glories, which don’t have long sturdy stems like roses, just thin, short bits of stem left on each flower from when they were picked off – but it’s been put together thoughtfully. He can’t pinpoint it exactly, but something about the bouquet makes him shiver a little.
Junki whistles when he sees the flowers. Shut up , Ruki tells him, and Junki says innocently, But I didn’t say anything . Fumiya frowns when he notices it, but he just shakes his head when Ruki asks him if there’s anything wrong.
It's a little bit inconvenient to bring the bouquet around, since Ruki didn’t want the flowers to be squished in his backpack. He ends up walking around the halls holding it in his hand, and his friends tease him some, but he just rolls his eyes because really, it’s not that big of a deal.
Shosei looks at the flowers longingly when Ruki brings it back to their apartment, mumbling something about how he wants people to give him flowers too. Flowers aren’t everything , Ruki tells him, fluffing his hair with his free hand. Now help me look for that vase I know is around here somewhere .
-
The flowers sit there, prettily, in their vase at a corner of their small sitting room, and Ruki doesn’t bother changing the water like he probably should – what’s the point when they’ll die soon anyways?
He almost forgets about them until a little more than a week later, when another bouquet shows up on his desk. It almost looks the same as before, except there are six morning glories this time, and a tiny sticky note that Ruki didn’t notice at first, with a smiley face drawn on it in what looks like crayon, color almost matching with the flowers.
Ruki looks around the classroom, wondering who it could possibly be. The person must come really early to be able to put a whole bouquet onto his desk without getting noticed – or do they just come before Ruki does and not care about who else sees them? If that’s the case, does that mean other people in the class might know?
He mentally makes a list of people he could ask. Jun? No, that kid always gets to school later than Ruki does. Ryo can’t do either, he always only walks in after class has already started. Maybe someone like Shuta then, Ruki decides.
So he pays Shuta a visit during lunch. Ruki knows Shuta usually sits below the big tree just outside the cafeteria with Ren, Takumi, Shunya, Jun, and occasionally Heecheon. They’re all there today, minus Ren, and Takumi’s the one who notices Ruki approaching first, holding the bouquet in his hand like before. There’s a peculiar expression on Takumi’s face, but Ruki dismisses it – they were probably talking about something that made Takumi frown before he saw him.
“Sup, Ruki?” Jun, following Takumi’s gaze, sees Ruki and greets him good-naturedly. Ruki smiles in response and taps Shuta’s shoulder just as Shuta turns to look at him, question in his eyes. They used to be closer, awhile back, and Ruki knows Shuta had a crush on him back then. They haven’t really talked recently though, the effect of not having classes together.
Ruki motions for Shuta to come with him, and Shuta stands up. Ruki turns to leave without waiting – Takumi is still looking at him with that expression and it’s making him a little uncomfortable – and he sees Shuta shrug to the rest of his friends as he steps away from their table to follow Ruki.
Shuta catches up a few steps later, and they walk in silence for a few more steps before Shuta asks, “What’s up?”
Ruki thinks for a second. “Why did Takumi look at me like that?” he asks, tone nonchalant.
Shuta takes a second to reply, too, and Ruki can tell he was a little taken aback by his question. “I think he’s just… a little sad that one of his best friends isn’t feeling well these days,” Shuta finally says. “He’s worried.”
Ruki arches an eyebrow. “I’m sure it’s nothing personal though,” Shuta adds hurriedly, “He’s probably been looking at everyone like that these days.”
Ruki hums. “Is it Ren? I know he always sits with you guys for lunch, but I didn’t see him there today.”
“Yeah, it’s Ren.” Shuta says, voice a bit higher than usual, and Ruki thinks, Interesting . Of course he can’t be sure if this conversation is even the least bit related to the bouquets, but he has a feeling it’s not completely unrelated either.
Ruki chuckles lightly at how nervous Shuta sounded and decides to cut to the chase. “Someone’s been leaving flowers on my desk,” he says, watching Shuta out of the corner of his eye. They’ve been walking aimlessly around campus, and Ruki would feel bad about taking up Shuta’s lunch time, but he figures he can always make it up to him later.
“I’ve noticed,” Shuta replies, maybe a little too quickly.
“I was wondering if you knew who it was,” Ruki says. “I’m curious because it’s quite extra compared to what I usually get.”
“Why are you asking me?” Shuta stops walking, next to him. Ruki stops too and turns to face him.
“Because you usually get to school early,” Ruki shrugs. “Earlier than I do, at least. And the flowers are always already on my desk when I get to school.”
“Why do you care who it is?” Shuta asks.
“I don’t, not really,” Ruki says. “But I’d still like to know, if you’re willing to tell me.”
“I never said I knew who it was,” Shuta says.
“Right, but you never said you didn’t know who it was either,” Ruki smiles lazily. “I think you do know.”
“You’re kind of terrifying,” Shuta says, and Ruki can tell Shuta half-means it.
“Maybe I am,” Ruki says. “So, are you going to tell me or not?”
Shuta looks at him carefully for a few seconds. “I don’t think so,” he says. “After all, it probably wouldn't make a difference to you.”
“Fair enough,” Ruki says, signaling the end of the conversation. Shuta turns to leave.
“Let me buy you a drink sometime,” Ruki says, and Shuta pauses. “Since you gave up some of your lunch period for me.”
“I’m free this Saturday,” Shuta replies without looking back.
“It’s a date,” Ruki says cheerily, enjoying the way Shuta almost trips on thin air when he hears what Ruki says.
I don’t like you anymore , Shuta tells Ruki over the coffee shop table that Saturday.
I know , Ruki smiles as he watches Shuta drink his coffee, chin propped on his hand.
Stop smiling like that, Shuta says. I don’t know why I agreed to this.
You don’t like me anymore, Ruki tilts his head slightly, keeping his gaze trained on Shuta, and smiles wider. Shuta’s ears are red.
Ruki decides that maybe he is a little scary after all.
-
The flowers keep coming. They’ve become more frequent, with more flowers each time but the same small note, and Ruki’s running out of vases to put them in at home.
He’s also started keeping an eye out for Ren in class, and it’s easy because his silver hair is hard to miss. He’s there some days but not there other days, but Ruki’s found that there is little correlation between Ren’s presence in class and the flowers’ presence on Ruki’s desk on any particular day.
“I feel like we can open up a flower shop now,” Shosei sulks as he watches Ruki fill up a glass jar with water to put his most recent flowers in.
“We only have two types of flowers here,” Ruki rolls his eyes. “I don’t think people are going to be interested in that. Plus, I can’t sell things other people gave me, that’s rude.”
“And the way you always lead people on when you aren’t even interested in them isn’t rude?” Shosei looks at Ruki incredulously.
“Ouch,” Ruki says neutrally. “Let me have my fun.”
“Your definition of fun is kind of messed up,” Shosei tells him.
“You’re not the first one to say something like that,” Ruki says as he places the jar down next to the other vases, full of flowers in various stages of wilting.
-
“I need to find out who’s sending me those flowers,” Ruki says to no one in particular as he sees another bouquet on his desk. They are almost a daily occurrence now, and Ruki thinks that, unless the person grows the flowers and makes the bouquets themselves, they are really spending way too much money on him.
“I think it’s better that you don’t,” Shuta says as he walks by.
“Shuta my bestest friend!” Ruki greets him cheerfully.
“Don’t pull that shit with me,” Shuta rolls his eyes as he plops into his seat a few rows behind Ruki. Ruki winks at him before turning back to his own desk.
He picks the bouquet up and gently lays it on the floor next to his backpack, an action that is now basically part of his morning routine. He thinks he should probably start bringing a water bottle to use as a makeshift vase at school and wonders why he didn’t get that idea sooner. He straightens and turns back to face Shuta again
“Well, would you tell me who they’re from if I never did that again?” Ruki blinks at Shuta innocently. Shuta looks like he is about to answer when his gaze shifts to somewhere behind Ruki, then he purses his lips and shakes his head instead.
Takumi was positively glaring at Ruki when he stalked past Ruki’s row on his way to his own desk. Which is why he figures it’s better to just go without question when Takumi comes up to him after class and tells him shortly, I need to talk to you .
“You want to know who’s sending you those flowers?” Takumi asks, looking somewhere beyond Ruki.
“Well, I wouldn’t mind knowing,” Ruki answers.
“I’ll show you,” Takumi says. “Meet me here after school.”
-
Ruki thinks he should probably feel horrified, grossed out, or maybe both, because who in their right mind gifts other people flowers that they threw up? But strangely, Ruki doesn’t feel disturbed. If anything, he’s a little curious, maybe even a little impressed – self destruction is a form of art too, one that only a select few can appreciate, and Ren was literally making art out of it. Ruki is also shocked that Takumi has been the one putting the flowers on his desk recently, at Ren's request, but Ruki is also starting to realize some things from the way Takumi has been acting towards him.
“So?” Takumi asks, clearly expecting something from Ruki.
“So,” Ruki replies, glancing over at Takumi.
“He’s losing his mind,” Takumi says quietly, but Ruki can see his eyes glisten. “I don’t know who he is anymore. You ruined him. His feelings for you turned him into a monster .”
“That’s not really my fault, now, is it?” Ruki responds, equally quietly. “Anyways, it takes a monster to love a monster.”
“You-“ Takumi struggles to find words. Coming up with none, he glares at Ruki. “You bitch . He deserved so much better than you.”
“Like who? You?”
Takumi purses his lips and looks away. “Yes, me ,” he says through gritted teeth.
“That definitely would be better for him, I think,” Ruki muses. “Though I’m still not sure why his feelings for me are so strong. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to him outside of classes.”
“God if I know,” Takumi looks exasperated. “I would’ve screwed his head back on ages ago if I knew.” He looks at Ruki again. “Quite frankly, I see nothing of yours that is praiseworthy. Not your face, not your personality, and certainly not the way you treat other people’s feelings for you.”
“Ren clearly disagrees,” Ruki replies loftily, but decides that this is not a fight he wants to pick right now. As indifferent as he usually is, he does feel bad at this moment, for both Ren and Takumi. For all he knows, if this kept going, it could only be a matter of time before Takumi started throwing up his own flowers too. And Ruki did not want to be responsible for two people’s lives, even if it’s indirectly.
“Tell him to get the surgery,” Ruki shrugs. “That seems like the most reasonable course, doesn’t it?”
Takumi looks at him like he’s an idiot. Ruki probably is. “You think we haven’t been trying to convince him?”
“Let me talk to him then,” Ruki suggests.
“Don’t you dare,” Takumi is back to glaring at him. As cute and pretty as Takumi usually looks, Ruki finds that he can be quite scary when he’s mad.
“Why not?” Ruki asks. “If he likes me so much, maybe he’ll listen to me.”
Red floods Takumi’s cheeks and he looks away again. He shifts on his feet before mumbling, “He told us not to tell you.”
“Well,” Ruki says, “I’d love to help, but you’d have to tell me how. You know him a lot better than I do.”
Takumi looks at him incredulously and Ruki shrugs. “I’m not heartless, you know.”
“I find that hard to believe,” Takumi says curtly.
“Well, the offer stands for as long as you need it,” Ruki says. “I’d really rather he wasn’t suffering like this because of me.”
“Me too,” Takumi replies. “The one thing we can agree on.”
Ruki thinks for a moment. “I don’t really know what he sees in me either," he says. "Actually, I don’t know what anyone sees in me.” He pauses. “I also don’t know why I’m telling you this. Possibly because you also don’t see anything in me.”
Instead of replying, Takumi just gives him a long, hard look before turning and walking away without a word, leaving Ruki in the purple twilight.
-
A few days later, Ruki comes to school to find his desk empty. Empty, because he had gotten so used to seeing a bouquet on it every morning that the desk now feels incomplete without it. Ren’s seat is empty, as it has been for the past week. There are only 5 minutes before class starts and both Shuta and Takumi’s seats are empty as well. Junki walks by and says, they finally gave up? and Ruki tries to not think about what “giving up” might mean.
At lunch, he doesn’t seek out Ren’s friends’ lunch spot because he doesn’t know what he would do if none of them were there, but he also doesn’t know what he should do if any of them were there. It’s cowardly, Ruki knows, but so be it. When he returns home, he takes all of the flowers out of the vases and throws them into the trash. Shosei walks in on him rinsing the now-empty vases fervently, and Ruki is thankful Shosei doesn’t comment on it.
It’s a few more days before Ruki hears from Shuta that Ren had successfully undergone and recovered from his surgery. Ruki feels like he can breathe again, even though he’s not sure when he had started feeling as if he couldn’t.
Walking into the classroom the next morning, Ruki sees the head of silver hair at Ren’s desk, bent over a piece of paper as he writes something on it. As if feeling Ruki’s gaze, Ren looks up, meets his eyes and smiles, his eyes crinkled into crescent moons and a soft curve to his lips. Ren has a cute smile, Ruki notices. And now that Ren will never be able to have feelings for Ruki again, Ruki genuinely hopes that Ren will direct his smile and his affections to someone who actually deserves and will reciprocate them, maybe someone like Takumi. Ruki smiles back at Ren and walks to his own desk, glad to see the tabletop bare.