Work Text:
Fear.
I have often said that fear is my ally.
And it is the truth. It is a truth that I fully embrace. A truth that permeates down to the very core of my being.
Fear is what gives me strength. It is the only emotion I trust. That, and anger. Rage , pure and raw.
These are the emotions of a warrior . A hunter. A Sith Lord. I thrive in them, feed on them. Draw upon their ice cold burning as I set my many plans into motion, spinning my webs far and wide.
At least…I used to.
Before I lost the duel with my Former Master…before I lost my apprentice. My… brother….
Fear…what strength did it give me then?
None.
No matter how my Rage burned within my soul, no matter how I threw myself on the flames…fear remained like ice around my hearts. It made me…. weak . It left me powerless , only able to watch as Darth Sidious impaled my brother through both of his hearts. As he robbed me of my one true ally in this entire galaxy!
Oh, the rage won out for a brief moment, and I threw myself deep into its deep embrace, able to match my former master…but it became all too clear that he was toying with me. And with that realisation came another: That I was no real threat to him. That I never had been. I was, as I had long suspected, only a tool to be used and discarded at his whim.
And the fear set in again.
I begged… begged for him to spare my life. Like a simpering coward.
Death would have been sweeter. Kinder.
I am indifferent to pain, I like to tell myself.
And it is true for most forms of physical pain…but this is different. I feel…cut adrift. Lost. I look over my shoulder, but he is not there anymore.
I am, as I always was.
Alone.
Fear.
It is not my ally.
It never really was, was it?